Waiting by the Window
by Symphoniafan
Summary: He knew she wouldn't recognize him, not at first. It hardly mattered. He had been ordered to retrieve her so he would. Retrieve the Chosen, retrieve Colette... Nothing else mattered
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: He knew she wouldn't recognize him, not at first. It hardly mattered. He had been ordered to retrieve her so he would. Retrieve the Chosen, retrieve Colette... ****Nothing else matter **

**Acknowledgements: **To my dear friend, Freakyanimegal. I assure you, without a doubt this story would have never happened if it wasn't for her. It started out as nothing but an idea and it flourished under her persistent nagging for me to write more and many hours of swapping ideas and developing the characters. I wrote it, but she literally fed me the ideas and encouragement for months to create this story. Thank you, Freaky.

**Hope you all enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 1:**

Seven years had passed since the small company, that had strived to bring down Cruxis, disbanded and vanished, slinking into the shadows in an attempt to reorganize themselves. They were like slivers embedded in the tip of the finger, wiggling their way deeper and deeper under the skin. If they weren't dislodged soon, they could pose a problem.

However, only one of them remained the most important. The young female Chosen. She was the only one that never made an appearance. The only one that seemed to have vanished completely. It was unconceivable, at first, to think she would remain in hiding for so long without even an attempt to aid her companions and therefore, Yggdrasill was content to wait. However, with each passing year, he grew more irritated, more frustrated with her unexplained absence. Desians had watched her family, her companions were followed, and save for a brief glimpse or whisper, nothing was ever revealed. Therefore, Yggdrasill had sent him.

Russet eyes scanned the dark trees, watching for the movement they had detected earlier. It hadn't been all that difficult to locate her. A challenge, perhaps, but a simple one when thought about. It was an asset, he supposed, to have had a closer relationship with the Chosen than any other in Cruxis had, but it came as a personal liability as well. He had figured out her pattern relatively quickly, but even then she still managed elude him.

She knew she was being followed and she covered her trail. He had to admit it was impressive how much she appeared to have changed in just a few years. It seemed her naive innocence had finally been disrupted by the cruel reality of the real world.

Perhaps the loss of Lloyd Irving played a role in her maturity. It was foolish to think it wouldn't affect her. Perhaps that is why Yggdrasill had sent him, a sense of familiarity to draw her in and make retrieving her easier. Personally, he knew it wouldn't work. She would hesitate at first, but then she would resist.

There, he saw it. A flash of blonde hair. He followed swiftly, his feet silent upon the ground. He could hear her shallow breathing as she paused, listening as well. He didn't stop, but followed the slight inhales. She moved again and he quickened his pace. He was surprised at her wariness, though he supposed it came from being hunted for nearly seven years. It was reasonable to think the others would've helped her. Sheena Fujibayashi was a likely candidate for stealth, though it amazed him that the young girl's clumsiness could be 'cured', for the lack of a better word.

Her pace seemed to have slowed and he did as well, stepping carefully as she came into his view, but remaining hidden himself. Her back was to him and she was leaning against a tree, most likely resting. He frowned as he studied her. It seemed that the Chosen had forsaken her white church garments, adopting traveller's clothes instead. Brown pants, a simple white shirt fastened by a sash and her long blonde hair pulled back in a messy braid. Her charkams were hanging off her back and a small dagger sheathed at her waist. It surprised him somewhat, but he supposed that it was only natural that should would try to fit in with the general society.

Watching her for a second longer, he detached himself from the shadows and strode towards her. It was almost too easy. She didn't even notice his presence and all he had to do was walk up behind her, disarm her charkams and grab her arm. It irritated him that no one else was capable of completing this simplistic assignment and he was left to finish it.

His foot brushed against some foliage, rustling the leaves slightly intentionally, but the Chosen still didn't move and he refrained from sighing. Perhaps he had been too quick to praise her assumed skill for stealth and survival. Perhaps just small miracles kept her safe for so long.

He was right behind her, when she whipped around, charkams already gripped in her hands and she slashed out at him. Stepping back swiftly, he avoided a chest wound, eyes widening in surprise at her speed and accuracy. There was no hesitation as the Chosen flicked her wrist, releasing one of her charkams spinning directly for his neck. She twisted immediately after and attempted a diagonal slash at his chest again. A sword was in his hand instantly, easily deflecting the first charkam and causing it to careen and embed itself into a tree. His sword flicked upwards again and blocked her second attack with just as little effort, causing her to jump to the side to keep up her defensive.

Blonde hair curved around her cheeks and hung over her eyes as she glared at him. It was both amusing and unnerving to see those once cheerful, blue eyes so aggressive. However, the Chosen left little time to linger on those thoughts as she rushed him again. Her charkam sang as it sped through the air at an insane speed, but its aim was too high and he ducked his head to dodge it only to find a dagger thrusting towards him. Caught off guard, he stepped back, and his hand shot up, grabbing her wrist, the small blade inches from his chest.

She released a grunt of frustration and tried to push the dagger towards his chest, but despite her angelic strength, he held her back.

Seeing her attempts futile, she released the blade and yanked her hand back, or tried to. His fingers enclosed around her wrist tightly to prevent her from pulling away. Her struggles stopped for a second and her foot kicked out catching him in the side of the knee. He grunted in shock as his knee involuntarily gave out and his grip loosened enough for her to pull free.

Before she could turn around and run, he swung his sword around, slamming the flat of his blade against the back of her legs. She shrieked as she crashed to the ground with a thud. She instantly went to push herself up, but stopped as he pointed the blade at her neck. "I wouldn't if I were you, Chosen."

Breathing shakily as she stared at the sword point, she turned her frightened eyes up at him. He merely stared down at her, waiting for the reaction that would undeniably come once she recognized his face.

She blinked in disbelief and pushed herself up slightly with her elbows as she stared at him. He removed the sword knowing that it wasn't necessary now that she recognized him and he wasn't particularly fond aiming it at her either.

"Y-you—you're—"

He sheathed his sword, staring down at her flatly, as she quickly scrambled to her feet, staring at him in complete shock. "It has been a while, Chosen." A lace of sadness slipped into his voice as he watched her.

She stared blankly at him before tears filled her eyes and she flung herself at him, throwing her arms around him. "Lloyd!" she cried. "You're alive! You're-you're—Lloyd!"

His eyes widened and his arms lifted, caught off guard by the embrace. He knew it would have been one of the possible reactions, but he hadn't been expecting it. If anything he had been expecting anger and fear...

Her face was buried his chest, clutching him rather tightly and Lloyd frowned and pushed her back by the shoulders. "Chosen..."

She looked up at him a smile spread across her face though tears spilled from her eyes, smearing her dusty cheeks. "Lloyd, I am so happy you are alive. Everyone thought you were dead—where have you been? What happened—?" her words cut off suddenly and he stared down at her as she slowly frowned, realization hitting her. "Why did you call me Chosen?" His expression didn't change as she took a step back. "Why were you fighting me?"

"Self-defence. I have no intention of killing you." Lloyd closed his eyes. "I need you to come with me."

Confusion filled her face and Lloyd realized how much older she looked. More mature. He supposed it had been seven years...

"Lloyd, what are you talking about? Go with you where? Where have you been?" she seemed upset and frustrated.

He stepped towards her, staring down at her. He was much taller than she was now, he realized. Nearly a head taller. "Derris Kharlan. I am to take you Lord Yggdrasill."

Not waiting for a response, he reached down, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her behind him, walking back through the trees. For a minute, there was no resistance and he walked slowly, knowing the shock of his response would wear off in moments.

It did.

"No! Lloyd, stop! Let go of me!" She shouted at him, trying to tug her arm free. Lloyd tightened his grip and kept moving. "Lloyd, let me go, now! Please!"

"Lord Yggdrasill is tired of waiting, Chosen. Another has been born, but it will take several more years before she would be ready and you are the closest match to—"

"Stop it, Lloyd! Listen to yourself! You aren't one of them! Let me go!" she was clawing at his hands, but he didn't even flinch. In fact, he refused to look back and he didn't reply.

Suddenly something crashed into him and caused him to stumble. As he straightened, Colette used her free hand and pounded on his chest. "Lloyd, please!" her voice sounded strange and Lloyd suddenly realized she was crying. "Please, don't take me! I don't want to die, Lloyd. I don't want to die. I just want to go home and stop running. I want all this to be over."

"Chosen..." he frowned and she gripped his vest, before falling to her knees, her one arm stretched up, still caught in his grip.

Her other hand clutched the ground and tears dripped onto her pants. "I've missed you and waited for you. We tried to fight back, but we weren't strong enough. Then everyone started saying you were dead and—and I—I didn't want to believe it! But it had been so long, I..."

Lloyd stared down at her, his eyes narrowed, but her hair hid her face. She choked and sobbed, her shoulders shaking, releasing seven years of pain and hidden emotions and Lloyd just watched in silence. After a few minutes, her cries stopped, but she didn't move. Her shoulders shuddered with each breath and finally she spoke, her voice shaky, but firm. "I can't go with you Lloyd. I can't. Not this time. Please don't make me. Please."

Lloyd closed his eyes, feeling the tremors through her arm as she cried. He frowned and turned around, releasing her hand as he walked away. He shouldn't have done this...

Colette's head shot up and stared at his back. "Lloyd—"

"Don't try and fight next time. Just run," he said over his shoulder.

"Lloyd, wait! Don't leave! Tell me what happened! I want to help you!" Colette reached for him, still on her knees.

"Just get out of here, Colette," Lloyd sighed as he disappeared into the trees.

**Please Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Listening to **Haunted by Kelly Clarkson** as I wrote this chapter. Most of the songs relate to the situation in the chapters. Great inspirations. **

**On another note, I'm hoping to update this once a week on Fridays. That's my general hope, anyway as long as I can get to a computer to do so.**

**Thanks to everyone would read and reviewed the first chapter. Enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 2:**

The image of Lloyd's back was imprinted in the dark space between the two trees where he had vanished. Colette was still slumped on the ground, her knees damp from the moisture beneath the leaf carpet. Her wrist still hurt from where he had gripped it so tightly and she wrapped her own fingers around it, staring wide-eyed at nothing.

"Lloyd...?" she whispered out then slowly rose to her feet, searching the trees for a glimpse of him. "Lloyd?"

She stepped forward and then broke into a run. "Lloyd! Wait! Come back!"

The trees flew past her as she rushed in the direction he had disappeared. Branches and stalks of plants lashed her arms legs and face. Her eyes darted everywhere, searching for his tall, foreign, yet familiar, form. She would slow, snap her head around and then rush off again. "Lloyd! Where are you?" she cried out, hands pushing off trees and swatting leaves out of her way.

The forest was silent, save for her heavy breathing. She stopped, spinning around, eyes wide and fretful. She absently brushed hair from her face with a shaky hand, but the strands simply tumbled back in place.

He was gone...

"Lloyd—!" she spun around seeing some movement, but there was nothing there. She frowned, her mouth opening slightly in confusion, when she thought she saw a flicker of red to her left. Again, her head snapped around, but again there was nothing.

Trembling, she turned, searching all around her in quick jerks, each time seeing a shadow near a tree, a flash of color or a whisper of a voice. Her hands clenched in frustration and anger, hot tears streaming down her cheeks as she desperately tried to catch sight of him until she finally cried out. "Stop it!"

She lowered into a crouch, clutching her head as she tried to calm herself down. He wasn't really there. He was gone... he was gone again...

_Just get out of here, Colette._

Her head snapped up and she saw his back vanishing past the trees again. "Lloyd—" she choked and shook her head. He wasn't really there, he was gone. He had left, let her go...

She found herself trembling as she remembered his frightening expression, the way he stared at her when she begged him to let her go. How empty his face was...

The trees groaned as the wind picked up and the canopy swayed above her, the odd leaf tumbling down through the air. Colette closed her eyes, trying to picture him, but she found the image distort. Everything had been so clear and focused just moments ago, but now the entire ordeal seemed to mesh together in a blurry mix, images and words slipping in and out her memory and muddling into a feeling of detachment. She saw those harsh, cold eyes on his face—the face she remembered seven years ago.

No! That wasn't right! She clenched her fists in frustration. Even when he said her name...it wasn't Lloyd's voice...it—it was a stranger's, the sound deeper and rougher. His hands were too calloused, too big. But it was Lloyd, right? It had to be him...

She pushed herself shakily to her feet, staring about her. She had to tell someone. She-she—the others needed to know.

She blinked, trying to think. Iselia wasn't too far from here. Raine said she stayed there sometimes to teach part-time again. Maybe she would be there now.

Colette turned around and started back the way she had come, almost in a daze. She tried to recall the encounter, so she could explain things more clearly, but her mind was muddled and the images refused to come.

She would pause occasionally looking around her, a confused frown on her face before carrying on. She managed to make her way back to where they had fought, her chakram still buried in the tree trunk. As she stared at it, Lloyd's face flashed across her vision, the surprised expression he wore as she attacked him, so vivid before it flickered out. She shook her head and grabbed her steel rings, strapping them on to her back. She searched for her dagger, but couldn't find it, probably buried beneath the dishevelled vegetation.

She hesitated for a moment, searching the surroundings and listening, but there was nothing. She turned and walked away.

* * *

Iselia hadn't changed much over the years, but each time Colette returned—though it was not often—she noticed the slight changes. A new building, more gardens, the add-on to the school; the changes were small, but each one was like a sharp flash of realization of how long it had been.

Old damage still remained however. Some buildings were still scarred from the Desian attack after the Oracle; the grave markers in the field outside the village, Colette turned her face away as she approached the gate. The two men at the sentry eyed her warily, but didn't comment. She didn't either. They probably recognized her as the Chosen, but now it was merely a title.

It had been hard to come back, to face the disappointment and accusation of her failure. They never said it directly to her, most of them just avoided her. She came back mainly to visit her grandmother and father, but after Phaidra passed away a couple years ago...

She shook her head, dislodging the memory. That was behind her. Lloyd was what was important now. She needed to tell the others he was alive.

But would they believe her? She hesitated in her step, slowing. For years, she had told them over and over again that he was still alive, but eventually they just stopped listening. She frowned, anxious. But it was the truth this time. Not just belief, because she had actually seen him...hadn't she?

The strange face stared at her and Colette bit her lip. He had never admitted he was Lloyd, yet she knew it was him. It had to be...

Even as she reassured herself, Colette still felt uncertain. Everything had passed so quickly and it seemed as if her memory was skipping parts.

"Colette?"

She snapped her head up, hands instantly landing on her chakrams, but then she smiled and relaxed. "Hello, Father."

The aging man's initial shock wore off and he hurried to his daughter, wrapping his arms around her. "Welcome home."

Colette returned his hug tightly before pulling back, smiling at him. Frank's eyes were bright as he searched her face. "You are more grown up every time I see you. I only wish it could be more often."

Colette looked down. "I'm sorry."

Frank brushed hair from her face, taking her hand. "It's not your fault, Colette. Come, let's go to the house."

Colette couldn't help but smile as she walked beside her father, despite the stares and disappointed looks from the villagers they passed. Her father always made her feel at home. "Has Miss Sage visited lately?"

Frank replied, "Actually we just received a letter from Triet from her. She was hoping to come stop in, perhaps substitute for a few days. We dearly miss her teaching; she always had a way with you kids."

"She was a great teacher." Colette said and then looked over as they passed the schoolhouse. For some reason, knowing that Raine would be here, suddenly made Colette feel anxious rather than grateful. What would she tell her? That Lloyd had come back, tried to kidnap her, take her back to Cruxis, and then let her go? Colette could almost imagine the doubtful expression on her old teacher's face. Suddenly telling the others didn't seem like such a good idea...

"Colette? Are you alright?" Frank asked as he opened the door to the house, noticing she was distracted. "Is something wrong?"

She looked up quickly. "No, I'm sorry. I was just thinking, it has been a long time."

Frank smiled sadly, but ushered her into the house. "Come, you can clean yourself up and I will make us something to eat and we can catch up."

"Alright." Colette nodded.

* * *

_She was so tired. She had been running all day, trying to lose the person following her, but hadn't been able to. _

_Leaning against the tree to breathe, she listened carefully for footsteps. She heard them, though they were extremely quiet. She grimaced, that probably meant it wasn't Desians this time. _

_Her skin crawled as she waited for the person to approach closer. Running wasn't getting her anywhere; she would have to fight them off..._

_She spun around, whipping her chakrams off her back and lashing out at the person. The person managed to dodge her, but Colette didn't hesitate. She had learned that she couldn't afford to hesitate, these people wanted to take her life and she couldn't let them. _

_Colette barely reacted when she saw the person. She did notice he was taller than she was and most likely stronger, but she had her angelic strength as an advantage. However, every time she attacked, he deflected it without as much as a blink. Even when she leapt at him with her dagger, he caught her wrist. It was then Colette realized he was stronger, even with her angelic strength. She tried to push the dagger down, but he resisted effortlessly. _

_Fear coursed through her and she dropped the knife and tried to pull away, but the man held her wrist. She kicked out at him and he let go, but he tripped her as she tried to run and she fell to the ground. _

_Only when she found a blade at her neck, did she look up to see her attacker. Her heart stopped, her mind went blank as Lloyd stared down at her. _

_It was Lloyd and it wasn't. It was a more angular face, a broader jaw, and narrower cheeks. His deep-brown set eyes flashed with that familiar hint of crimson. His brown hair had darkened, highlighted with hints of reddish-brown on the top, but darker on the layers beneath. Colette stared up into his eyes as he swung his sword around in a smooth slow motion. His gaze was harsh and cold. Colette's eyes widened in fear as the corner of his mouth twisted up into a smirk, and he reached for her neck. "I'm back, Colette."_

"No!" Colette screamed and jerked up, hand clutching her own throat in defensive. "Lloyd!" she gasped. Breathing heavily she stared in front of her, realization slowly hitting her that she was in her room, in her bed. Slowly her hand fell to her lap and she swallowed, Lloyd's face slowly rippling away.

She clenched her fists and slammed them on her bed in frustration. Why would she dream that? Why?

She knuckled the sides of her head as if she could dislodge all those horrible thoughts out of her mind and then in anger swung her feet out of her bed and strode across the room, her white nightgown brushing against her legs.

"Colette?" her father's voice whispered through the closed door, followed by a soft knock. "Are you okay?" he opened the door when she didn't reply and stepped in. "Colette?"

"I'm sorry. It was just a nightmare." She looked at him apologetically, but couldn't force a smile. Frank frowned, but Colette shook her head. "I'm fine, really. I'm sorry I woke you up."

Frank hesitated. "Alright...if you are sure."

Colette nodded and Frank left, closing the door and Colette buried her face into her hands, shaking her head.

Moonlight filtered through the window, casting shadows across the walls and floor, seeping through her fingers. She lifted her head, staring at the window before rising and walking over to it slowly. Hundreds of thought swarmed her head as she did. _Would he be there? Is he wondering about me too? Did he change his mind?_

She hesitated for a moment, then stepped up, placing a hand on the window as she stared down.

Nothing.

The empty street stared up at her and she gave a nervous giggle, covering her mouth. What made her think he would be there? In fact, the more she thought about, the more illogical it seemed. What if it had never really been him? For some reason she just mistaken the person for him. Lloyd would never act like that. He would never try to take her back to Cruxis...

Colette paused and grabbed her wrist. He...didn't take her though... he had let her go...

* * *

"Colette." Frank called up the stairs the following morning

A few moments later, Colette walked down, "What is it, Father-?"

"My you have gotten so tall, Colette." Raine smiled at her, standing by the door. "It has been almost a year now, hasn't it?"

"Miss Sage!" Colette exclaimed happily and rushed over to the older woman, embracing her. "When did you get back? How have you been? Have you seen Genis recently? How are the—"

Raine laughed and patted her arm. "So many questions and I barely stepped in the door."

Colette blushed. "Sorry, would you like to sit down?"

Frank shook his head in exasperation, smiling. "I will put some tea on."

Raine and Colette sat down as Frank left, and the half-elf woman released a heavy sigh. "Now to answer your questions, I actually just arrived in Iselia when I ran into your father. He said that you had been asking for me, so I came here first." She studied her and Colette ducked her head.

"So what have you been doing?" Colette asked quickly.

"Hmm...Mainly avoiding the Desians. They are desperate to get their hands on Genis and me lately. We split ways after some time to try to throw them off; Genis was travelling with Presea last I knew. I worry about that boy."

Colette smiled. "Genis is strong and Presea can take care of him."

"Yes, I suppose." Raine turned away, thoughtful.

"Have you heard anything from the others? What about Zelos or Sheena?" Colette asked curiously. "It's been so long since I have seen them."

"Well, last I heard, Zelos was still struggling with his position in Meltokio. Now that the Princess is in control, it seems that the charges have been dropped on him, but the Church isn't as tolerant with him running around loose. And Sheena, well, Yuan and the Renegades have been chasing her for a couple of months now."

"Huh?" Colette looked up concerned. "How come?"

Raine frowned, "Yuan found out that Sheena can summon. He has some kind of theory about breaking something called the mana links. But he wouldn't explain anything more than that and Sheena didn't want to cooperate—"

"You've been talking to Yuan?" Colette asked confused. Raine stopped, blinking and then cleared her throat.

"Of course, how else would I know what is going on in Tethe'alla?"

Colette looked at her angrily. "Raine! He is in Cruxis too! He helped Kratos capture Lloyd! How could you be working with him?"

"I did not say that, Colette." Raine corrected her, but Colette didn't stop frowning. "Even though Yuan is a part of Cruxis, he is also the leader of the Renegades trying to bring it down. Having Lloyd killed was never—"

"He's not dead!" Colette clenched her hands, blurting out the truth. "Raine, he isn't dead, he's—"

"Is everything alright?" Frank cut in worriedly, looking at Colette in concern as he set the tray, with the tea, on the table.

Colette looked at him and then at Raine before looking down. "It's nothing," she said, her anxiety returning.

Raine reached over, touching her shoulder sympathetically. "Colette, I know it is hard to accept it, but after so many years it's time to—"

"I'm going to go lay down. Excuse me." Colette stood up and headed for the stairs.

"Colette, wait. Forgive me; I shouldn't have said...What was it you wanted to ask me?" Raine stood up, her expression sincere.

Colette nearly rushed back and explained the entire thing. She wanted to, she really did, but...what if Raine didn't believe her, what if she merely patted her on the back and pretended to believe her just to make her feel better, or worse, tell Colette that it was her imagination. If Lloyd really was alive then...

Colette smiled and shook her head. "It was nothing too important, I will ask you later. I need to lie down for a minute."

No, she wouldn't let others tell her it hadn't happen. Even if it felt like a dream, she wanted to believe it was real. She needed to believe it was.

Even after she closed the door to her room, she could hear Raine talking to her father.

"It's about Lloyd, isn't it Frank?" Raine sighed in exasperation. Colette imagined that her father nodded and she heard Raine speak again. "It was hard for all of us. It even took Genis a long time to accept it."

There was silence, then Frank spoke, "Perhaps it isn't fair to assume the worst, Raine. After all there is no proof."

"It has been seven years, Frank. No one has seen or heard from him in all this time. Even Yuan has said nothing, though he avoids the topic entirely." Silence. "He wants Genis and me to join him. Says he will reveal more of what he knows about it if we do."

Colette frowned and clenched her fists. "Will you?" Frank asked.

"I haven't decided yet. The others would be angry at the idea. Colette was upset I had even talked to him, but we are losing this battle, Frank. Running will only get us so far and we aren't strong enough to fight it. Losing Lloyd just...everything fell apart."

"I know," Frank replied softly, paused then continued. "I worry about Colette too. Every time she leaves, I wonder if it will be the last time I see her. But I know I can't make her stay, they would find her. They already came here looking for her."

Colette wiped her eyes, breathing shakily. There was silence for a long time and she was about to move away when her father spoke again. "She dreams of him. These past three nights, she wakes up screaming and crying his name. She never did that before, even after he was captured."

Raine spoke, concerned. "Did she talk to you about it? Do you know why?"

"She never does, pretends it never happened. I think something happened just lately. I think it is what she wants to talk to you about."

Colette moved away, the voices muffling out and she lay down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling.

* * *

Lloyd was standing before her again, staring down at her. She was begging him to let her go, telling him she didn't want to die. This was the forth night she had dreamed of that moment, but each time it was different. Sometimes he tried to kill her, sometimes he just walked away with her screaming for him to come back, and another he had stared at her with lifeless eyes, soulless.

Tonight scared her even more though. Lloyd released her wrist but instead of walking away, he pulled her into a hug. He wasn't crying, but on the verge of it, she could hear it in his voice. He spoke to her, but she couldn't make out the words or his voice. She tried to speak to him but as soon as her mouth opened, he was suddenly ripped away from her. He shouted her name before vanishing into darkness.

"Lloyd!" Colette screamed once again, her eyes snapping open. She leapt up, her blankets dishevelled and half on the floor. She clutched them, realizing her cheeks were wet with tears. She dried them quickly and turned her head to look over at the window. The moonlight was shining on her bed and she sniffed before crawling out of the bed and placing her feet on the cool floor. She must have dozed off, she realized after a minute, staring at the moonlit window.

She felt stiff after sleeping in her clothes, but she didn't feel like changing. She didn't feel like sleeping either. She rose from the bed and walked slowly to the window. How many times during the past few nights had she walked to the window and stared out, thinking she would find him there?

She lifted her hand, touching the window as she looked out as she did every night. She stared down at the road. Lloyd was standing there, staring up at her and their eyes met. They almost seemed to glow in the shadows of his face and he seemed like a statue frozen in place, just watching her. His clothes at first glance made her think it was the old him. A red vest replaced his jacket, but still wore it over a familiar black undershirt. Black straps travelled over the shoulders of the vest and a larger across the center. Black gauntlets covered his arms up to his shoulders, cuffs with small straps encircling them and red fingerless gloves. Even his white trailings swung behind him, but they were trimmed with red instead. The differences were all Colette could see at that point. Even if he would speak, she knew his voice would be deeper, rougher and filled with something akin to irritation. She could see him so clearly, just standing there, meeting her eyes...

Colette sighed and turned from the window.

* * *

He stood motionless, watching as she disappeared into the darkness of her room. His eyes closed slowly and he turned around, walking down the empty road away from her house. He hadn't been sure what would happen. Hoping for something he wasn't even sure he wanted. He had made a mistake, but after so long...

He shouldn't have come.

He never really knew whether he had intended for her to see him or not tonight. Being here was foolish, irresponsible and...vain.

A bang caused him to whirl around, hand on sword just as his name was shouted out.

Lloyd stared at the now opened window, Colette half-leaning out the window, her mouth slightly opened in surprise and disbelief. His eyes flickered to the lower windows, but the house remained silent. His gaze lifted, caught her eye and he spun around, walking away from the house quickly. He needed to leave before he made things even more complicated.

"Lloyd! Wait!" Colette called out and he heard the scrape of wood followed by a small grunt and thud as she jumped from the window. "Lloyd!" She called again, but he kept walking, even though his paced slowed and stride lessened. It did so unconsciously, a part of him wanting her to reach him. He heard her run up, the slap of her feet on the road before she grabbed his elbow and rushed in front of him, planting her hands on his chest. He stopped, head lowering to look down at her angry face.

"What are you doing?" he asked her, unfazed by her expression.

She was panting, face enraged. Then she shoved him.

Surprised, Lloyd stepped back to keep his balance. Colette's face was one of uncertainty now, the expression one has after realizing something. Lloyd frowned at her peculiar change in emotions when he stiffened suddenly as she placed her hands on his cheeks, staring at him. "You aren't a dream, are you?"

Lloyd pulled away from her hands. "I don't believe so."

**Please Review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Listening to **Changes by 3 Doors Down. **I love how these songs relate to the chapters. **

**Once again, thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. Here's the next chapter. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 3:**

"_Let go of me!" Lloyd raved, struggling in the grips of two angels. They continued to drag him, unperturbed by his shouts and thrashing. Behind him, Kratos and Yuan walked silently. Lloyd cursed and swore at them too, but again, he received no response. _

_Yggdrasill waited ahead, near an opened door. His expression was one of irritation and annoyance. "Bring him in." _

"_Damn it! Let me go, you bastards!" Lloyd jerked back, causing the angels to pause. He felt a hand touch his shoulder tentatively from behind and he leapt away, head whirling to glare at Kratos, who stared at him with a helpless expression. But, it was only for a second, before the angels hauled in him through the doors and he found himself in a sparsely furnished room with a bed, a desk and a chair. _

_Lloyd continued to shout and fight against the angels as Yggdrasill slid the chair over and placed it roughly in the middle of the room. Lloyd, breathing hard, stared blankly at the chair until the angels pushed him over to it and forced him into it. Lloyd instantly tried to stand up, but Yggdrasill gripped his shoulder and shoved him back down. The two angels held his wrists firmly against the arms of the chair. "What the hell do you want?" he snarled at Yggdrasill. _

_Yggdrasill ignored him. The door slid open again, revealing another angel who flew into the room, holding a number of straps that clinked as they dangled from its hand. "Secure him. Tightly." Yggdrasil instructed and the angel glided forward. _

_Lloyd's eyes widened fearfully and he twisted. "No! Stop it! What the hell are you—?"_

_Yggdrasill smacked the side of his face throwing Lloyd's head to the side. Kratos glared and stepped forward, but Yggdrasil turned on him. "Don't interfere, Kratos."_

_Lloyd blinked, stunned by the hit. He felt the straps tighten around his wrists and he panicked, but his reaction was too slow and all he could do was jerk his hands up, the leather firmly constricting his arms. They grabbed for his legs and he kicked out at them, cursing, but the angels simply ignored him and seized his ankles. They forced his legs against the chair and slipped the strap around them, pulling it tight._

_Lloyd shouted in frustration, trying to kick and pull his arms loose as the angels were dismissed. Lloyd's chest heaved as he glared at the remaining men. Yuan wasn't even looking at Lloyd, rather he glared at Yggdrasill. Kratos, on the other hand, stared at Lloyd with guilt and sadness. Lloyd snarled and struggled against the bonds again. "What do you want with me?"_

_Yggdrasill's eyes narrowed. "You were never the issue, Lloyd. If you hadn't interfered at the Tower, the Chosen would have—"_

_"I wasn't going to let you kill Colette!" Lloyd shouted back at him. _

_Yggdrasill scrutinized him. "I heard you even managed to bring back her soul. Impressive, but an annoying set-back." Lloyd twisted against the straps and scowled up at the angel. Yggdrasill ignored him and turned towards the doors just as they opened again, the angels reappearing carrying something Lloyd couldn't see. _

"_Nevertheless, I can always retrieve her later, especially if I remove you from the picture." _

_Lloyd paled and Kratos stepped forward. "Yggdrasill, you will not—"_

_"Silence, Kratos! Let me remind you that in exchange for sparing your son's life, you agreed to cooperate."_

_Lloyd's eyes widened. "S-son?"_

_Kratos glared angrily. "I did not agree to the transformation." _

_Yggdrasill faced him. "Don't interfere, or your son's life is forfeit, Kratos."_

_Kratos fell silent, his face twisted in conflict as he looked at Lloyd. Lloyd shook his head rapidly, breathing hard as he struggled to collect his thoughts. "No...What are you-? That's impossible—"_

_"Bring me the key-crest." Yggdrasill cut him off abruptly and the angel handed him the accessory. Lloyd's eyes widened, clenching his hands, he strained against the straps that bound his wrists._

_"No! What are you doing? Let me go, damn it!" he shouted and his eyes found Kratos as Yggdrasill pulled off Lloyd's glove and forced his hand down so his exsphere was upright, and removed his current key-crest. Lloyd's eyes slammed shut as Yggdrasil set the new key-crest on his exsphere and he tried once more to rip his arm free—_

_Then he screamed. _

_The chair clattered and rattled as Lloyd's entire body jerked back against the chair, nearly tipping it over. Yggdrasill's hand gripped his arm, preventing him from falling over and he watched Lloyd's exsphere begin to glow. _

_Sweat broke out on Lloyd's forehead and he felt every part of him burning from the inside out. His knees jerked up and his fingers dug into the arm of the chair as he screamed again. He briefly saw Kratos stepping towards him, but Yuan grabbed the man's arm. Lloyd's eyes slammed shut as another wave erupted in his head, stabbing like knives over and over again. Every muscle tensed, tendons stretching out along his neck and arms as he tried to pull away from the pain. _

_His breathing was raspy and his head suddenly fell forward as the pain slowly subsided, unable to keep his head up. Yggdrasill released his arm and straightened. "Bring the aionis."_

_"No!" Kratos' voice reached Lloyd and the boy groaned weakly, his fingers twitching and curling slowly. _

_"Interrupt me one more time, Kratos, and I'll choke the life right out of him." Yggdrasill threatened. _

_Lloyd started to lift his head weakly, when a hand grabbed his jaw and forced his head back. Yggdrasill entered his vision and holding a small, clear container in one hand, a gravelly looking substance filled it, as if someone had crushed up a rock. Lloyd instantly clenched his teeth shut. Yggdrasill forced his teeth apart roughly with his fingers and poured the stuff into his mouth. Lloyd tried to shake his head and turn away, but Yggdrasill's grip was iron and he all he could do was gag and choke as it filled his mouth. _

_It was grainy and seemed to absorb the moisture from his mouth the instant it touched, leaving his mouth parched. The flavour was overwhelming, a sour bile taste and his body instinctively tried to cough up the nauseating substance, but Yggdrasill kept Lloyd's head back and forced a cup his lips. _

_Lloyd tried to spit the water out causing trickles of it to spill down the corners of his mouth; but Yggdrasill was relentless and the water filled his mouth, churning the aionis that clung to his tongue. The water seemed to intensify the taste and tears came to Lloyd eyes as he gagged harshly again, the restriction of the straps and Yggdrasill's hand hurting him as his body strained instinctively. Yggdrasill removed the cup and forced his mouth shut before Lloyd could spit it out. Lloyd strained against the straps, twisting and trying to pull away. He couldn't breathe through his nose. He couldn't get enough air with his head forced back and his breathing was too quick. He gagged again before he was forced to swallow. The aionis scratched as it rushed down his throat, he whimpered and then released a strangled gasp as Yggdrasill released him. _

_Tears of frustration creeped at the corner of his eyes as he coughed and wheeze, barely noticing the angels untying him, but the instant the straps released, he shoved himself forward. He collapsed on his hands and knees, the chair clattering to the floor behind him. He gagged and spit, his body lurching as it attempted to remove the ingested rock. _

_Yggdrasill looked at him in contempt and then left; Yuan shortly after him with barely a glance. Only Kratos remained as Lloyd tried to spit out chunks of the rock, his body heaving in agony, trying to force it out. _

_Something did come up, but it was only water and Lloyd stared at it, his body shuddering and arms quivering. There wasn't any aionis. _

_"It's absorbed into your body already." Kratos' voice drifted down to him and then a hand gently touched his back. _

_Lloyd lashed out, slapping it away. "Get away from me—!"_

_He heaved again as the taste swarmed his senses, his tongue still coated with the flavour. Salvia dripped from his lips, his whole body shaking from the exertion and still gagging every few seconds. _

_His fingers curled, hands clenched and eyes squeezed shut, he released a choking sob. "D-D-damn it. Damn it!" he cursed. _

_"Lloyd..." Kratos tried again._

_"Shut up! Don't try to talk to me! You-You liar! You—" _

_Lloyd retched again and still only water. His arms buckled and his hands slipped on the wet floor and Kratos quickly reached over and caught his shoulders, keeping his son from slamming face first into the ground. _

_Lloyd released another strangled sob and leaned weakly against Kratos, who wrapped his arms around him lightly. "I couldn't-I couldn't—"_

_"It's not your fault, Lloyd." Kratos cut him off, but Lloyd just shook his head, not even listening to him._

_"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-I wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry." _

* * *

"I never really had a choice in the matter."

"...He was your father."

Lloyd didn't reply, instead stared at the grass flattened beneath his feet, feeling Colette's horrified gaze on him. He could feel her trembling beside him, though they weren't even touching. He tilted his head back to look at the stars, avoiding her face. "After that they isolated me in the room. I can't remember for how long, I think it was a couple of months, maybe a year...It seemed like forever. Kratos wasn't allowed to see me either. Not for a long time."

Colette didn't respond and Lloyd closed his eyes as he recalled the memory. "At first, I didn't care. I hated him. I hated him a lot. But being alone...for so long..." he paused, shaking his head, smirking grimly. "When he appeared at that door, I didn't hate him anymore, even though I wanted to."

"Lloyd..." Colette reached for his hand, but he slid it away, laying his arm across his lap.

"I tried to be angry with him, to deny who he was, but he never backed down. He blamed himself for what happened and was determined to make up for it."

"We talked a lot, but he always avoided my questions and eventually I stopped asking. He talked mainly about Cruxis, and, at first, I would get mad at him and wouldn't listen. He'd always stop and look away until I calmed down and then he would apologize and leave. After a while, I stopped reacting like that, it just made him leave earlier and...I needed the company, even if he upset me."

"Why didn't he help you leave? After they let you out, why didn't you just leave?"

"And do what? Come back? Unlikely." Lloyd shook his head. "I never would have come back if Yggdrasill hadn't ordered me to retrieve you."

"But-but why?" Colette's voice caught.

Her question made him hesitate. There were multiple reasons. Many that were selfish and some more logical...to him anyway. Of course, he wouldn't give her the reasons, he'd know they'd bring up a pointless debate. He'd settle on the one he thought would upset her the least.

"You."

"W-what?" Colette stammered, eyes wide.

"If I escaped and came back, Yggdrasill would use me as the bait to lure you out. It is why he decided to send me. He is tired of waiting and he believes I would be able to bring you back."

Tears filled Colette's eyes, he could see them from the corner of his eyes and he sighed. "I shouldn't have told you. This was a mistake." He clenched his fist, frowning.

"No. Why would you think that?" Colette looked at him in surprise. Her hands were folded on her lap, but Lloyd could see her knuckles were white.

"I am upsetting you, that's why." Lloyd's voice lowered and he turned to face her. "You are crying and frightened about something that happened to me seven years ago. You are terrified that I will change my mind and drag you back to Cruxis and you are terrified to let me leave. I know how you feel about others' suffering. You always take it in upon yourself to share it and make it your own."

Colette shook her head, rapidly, wiping her eyes. "There is nothing wrong in sharing your pain." Her brow furrowed and she leaned closer to him, staring him in the eye. "You always told me never to hide my pain. I don't want you to either."

Lloyd scowled. "I was foolish and naive then."

"No." Colette clenched her hands and struck the ground. Lloyd raised an eyebrow and Colette looked at him angrily. "You were right, Lloyd. Pretending nothing is wrong hurts people too. I hurt you by keeping the truth a secret back then, so don't you do it now."

"So I hurt you either way. By telling you or keeping it a secret," Lloyd muttered bitterly. His expression went blank and he stood quickly. "I never should have come."

Colette clambered up and grabbed his arm. "No, Lloyd, wait! Don't leave, it's not your fault!" he stared down at her anxious face.

"Let go, Colette—"

"Stop it!" she shouted at him. "Don't walk away again. I don't want you to leave."

Lloyd jerked his arm away, glaring down at her. "What _do_ you want from me, Colette? What could I possibly have that you desire so badly?"

"I want Lloyd back!" Colette got to her feet, returning his glare angrily. "I want my friend!"

"He's gone, Colette! Don't you get it? I can't be that Lloyd anymore! I can't go back and change things!" Lloyd looked down at his hand, before clenching it. "And you are better off not knowing this one."

"You are still the same!" Colette countered, grabbing for his hand again, but he stepped away. She pulled back, frustrated. "You always told me, no matter what happened, I would always be the same. Remember! Do you remember?" Colette grabbed his sleeve and Lloyd's expression softened.

"I remember," he said sadly. "And you still are the same and you never will change. But I am not like you. I have changed. You know that, so stop deluding yourself."

"You are the same, Lloyd." Colette stamped her foot. "I know you are."

Lloyd's annoyance was rising and he snapped at her. "How can you know that?"

"Because you regret it," Colette answered firmly and Lloyd froze. Her face relaxed and she stared up at him determinedly, taking his hand. "You regret it. You let me go and then you came back. You came back, Lloyd, that's how I know."

Lloyd shook his head, smirking apathetically, looking away. "It was a foolish mistake."

Colette smiled and squeezed his hand. "Exactly. We can fix this Lloyd. We can make things right."

Lloyd stared at her for a long moment. She had changed so much, grew up. He had never imagined her like this. He couldn't. The memory of his old life was restricted to seven years ago and he had never allowed himself to think about his old friends. And yet, though she matured, she never really changed. She was less naive, of course, but she was still so trusting, so believing in everything. Where everyone else had given up on him, she never had.

Hesitating, he slowly lifted his free hand, cupping her cheek, his thumb, brushing feather-light against her skin. Colette blinked in surprise as he searched her face. His hand was gone an instant later, back at his side as he stepped away from her. "Forgive me, Colette."

She touched her cheek, staring at him. They said nothing for a moment, then she spoke, "Why did you apologize? To Kratos, I mean?" Lloyd looked at her confused. "When you said you were sorry for not being strong enough?"

Lloyd smirked and shook his head. "I wasn't apologizing to Kratos."

Colette frowned. "You weren't? Then who...?"

Lloyd glanced away.

Her mouth opened, but a light came on in one of the nearby houses, causing them both to look at it anxiously. They were within the trees, but their voices must have carried back. Lloyd frowned and started to turn, but paused to meet Colette's eyes.

She shook her head slowly, her eyes telling him not to go and he looked away. "Don't stay here any longer than you have to. You should leave in a couple of days if you don't want Desians breathing down your neck." He hesitated then turned his back to her.

Colette stepped forward, half-heartedly reaching for him as he started walking away. "Wait." He paused, not looking back. "Will-will—this isn't goodbye, right?"

Lloyd didn't reply, his head tilting slightly in response and she clutched her wrist, holding her hand near her chest. "How will I see you again if I keep running?"

"I told you, Colette, just run. It will keep you alive." He half-turned towards her, a crooked smirk on his face. "Besides, I found you once, I can find you again."

Colette's eyes widened, but he didn't wait for her to speak; instead, he quickly disappeared into the trees, half-running, half-jogging. He dodged around the trunks and left the forest behind him. He quickened his pace and mana shimmered down his back as two stunning wings unfurled, snapping open as he leapt up into the air. The grass and leaves flattened beneath a heavy flap and he closed his eyes, gathering all his mana together, pulling it all within him before vanishing in an orb of light.

Lloyd's eyes opened slowly, his wings folding gently behind him, twitching occasionally as he stared out at the white city. He sighed, a strained smile on his face. It was so much quieter here. He could think much easier without being so distracted by the noise he was unused to. He moved forward quickly, his wings lifting slightly as he headed towards the cluster of buildings. Half-elven angels glided near him, lowering their head in respect, some stating his title. He ignored them, his black boots tapping loudly on the ground, his thoughts straightening themselves out.

"You are back."

Lloyd stopped mid-step and looked over his shoulder, finding Kratos behind him. "Yes."

"What of the Chosen?" Kratos studied his face and Lloyd forced himself to hold his gaze, knowing if he looked away, the truth would be revealed.

"I believe I found her trail, but lost it within a city. Just came back to report to Lord Yggdrasil." Lloyd answered and Kratos raised an eyebrow.

"Why not simply locate her trail again? It shouldn't have been difficult." Kratos stated.

Lloyd twitched, but narrowed his eyes quickly to hide it, his wings giving a small flap. "And I will, right after I give my report."

Kratos studied him a moment then closed his eyes, smirking. "Very well."

Lloyd frowned, but turned around quickly striding in the direction of his room. His expression softened once the doors closed behind him and slammed his hand on the nearest wall, head bowed as his sighed heavily. "What the hell have I done?"

**Please Review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Listened to **I'm Moving On by Rascal Flatts. **It's been a tough week *sigh*, so I'm glad I had this chapter typed out ahead of time.  
Thanks for reading and for those who reviewed. I appreciate it. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia

**Chapter 4:**

"Where is she, Lloyd?"

Lloyd refrained turning from Yggdrasill's gaze. He clenched his hands, which were clasped tightly behind his back, his shoulders straight and stiff and he met the elder angel's gaze directly. "I have yet to locate her, my Lord." His face remained blank and Lloyd was aware of Kratos' watching from beside him, yet didn't look his father's way.

Yggdrasill's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "You said you would be able to find her."

"I said I _might _be able to, my Lord. I apologize, but her trail is difficult to follow since she travels alone now." Lloyd spoke smoothly, calm. It was a precarious situation and if he messed up in the slightest, Colette's location would be forfeit.

"Kratos mentioned that you tracked her to a city and then lost her," Yggdrasill asked after a moment. "Which city was that? Perhaps sending more men would speed up the search."

"Unlikely, my Lord, if she is pursued by a larger number, she will disappear again like before." Lloyd's mind searched for excuses quickly, making sure not to slow in his speech. "Right now she is being careless. I assure you, Lord Yggdrasill; I will find her trail again and locate her swiftly. I just need a little more time." Kratos' eyes bore into him, but Lloyd continued to ignore him, focusing on Yggdrasill.

"Very well, Lloyd. I will be lenient simply because you are the only one that has had any sort of progress. But as a precaution, what region did you track her to, I will tell the nearby Ranch to be on a careful lookout."

"Asgard, my Lord," Lloyd replied. "Near Hakonesia Peak."

"Excellent. You are both dismissed. I will have Yuan inform the Ranch in that area." Yggdrasill waved them off. Both father and son bowed and turned to leave.

Once outside the room, Kratos said, "You handled yourself well."

"I was just telling him what he wanted to know," Lloyd replied curtly, though his tone relaxed more, keeping stride with his father.

"I meant in persuading him to let you continue searching on your own." Kratos glanced at him.

Lloyd stiffened. "Why would you think that?"

"It is understandable. It's your first solo assignment and you wish to handle it yourself." Kratos frowned, turning his face away. "Not to mention more personal."

Lloyd stopped, his eyes widening for a split second, before narrowing angrily. "What are you implying? That my past will contradict my logic? That is absurd."

Kratos stopped and turned to look at him. "Not at all. I am simply assuming that searching for the Chosen would bring a sense of nostalgic and you'd prefer to handle it differently than others."

"Why would you believe that? You know more than anyone how I view my past," Lloyd countered tersely. "Don't be foolish and stop worrying so much." He sighed irritably and resumed walking, shaking his head.

Kratos fell in step beside him again, looking at him sadly. "You are right, forgive me."

"For what? Inaccurate assumptions?" Lloyd scoffed, smiling a little as he looked at his father.

"No. For allowing you to become so detached from your past," Kratos answered, not meeting his eye.

Lloyd frowned, looking down. "It's not like either of us had a choice." He closed his eyes. "It was the only way you could help me to cope. I don't blame you. If anything I should be thanking you."

"What for?" Kratos frowned.

"For the ability to lie to my superiors." Lloyd smirked suddenly.

Kratos smiled lightly, "At least you haven't lost your sense of humour."

"Are you jesting? That's my most distinguishable trait." Lloyd looked at him seriously, then both chuckled softly.

* * *

"You are leaving so soon?" Frank asked, disappointed. "But you have only been home for a few days."

Colette rubbed her arm. "I know. I wish I didn't have to leave so soon, but I am worried about the Desians learning that I am here."

"If they come, we will hide you." Frank insisted. "It isn't right that you should have to run."

Colette shook head. "Father, I can't risk the village. You heard what happened in Triet a couple years ago..."

Frank reached across the table, covering her hand with his. "Don't blame yourself for that. The Desians—"

"Are after me." Colette looked at him desperately. "I take responsibility for it and I can't let that happen again. I couldn't bear to think of you getting hurt because of me."

Frank gripped her hand tightly, his head bowing. Colette noticed how old her father looked now, though he was still young. It was because of the stress and she knew most of it was caused by her. "You've grown up so much, Colette. It so hard to think of you as anything but my little girl."

Colette smiled. "I will always be your little girl." He returned the smile weakly. "I'm not leaving until tomorrow morning. Why don't we go to the school? I would like to visit Raine once more."

Frank's expression changed and he nodded. "That's a good idea."

They left the house, following the dirt road to the schoolhouse. Frank told her some stories about the village, some of them making Colette laugh as she remembered the names of the people. Though it made her sad, not being able to have been a part of any of it.

The schoolyard was filled with children running and playing with each other. Raine and a younger woman talked near the doorway of the schoolhouse as they kept a watchful eye on the students. Raine noticed Colette and Frank and waved, smiling. "Well this is a nice surprise, good afternoon Colette, Frank."

"Good afternoon, Raine." Frank smiled, nodding at the other young woman as well. "Charlotte."

Colette smiled, watching a pair of boys wrestling on the ground as they laughed. Charlotte excused herself and hurried over to the boys, breaking them up and scolding them for getting dirty.

"So you are leaving again, Colette?" Raine asked, drawing the young woman's attention. Colette nodded and Raine sighed. "I suppose it is safest. The village militia has noted the ranch is scouting close to the village again. They are worried they will attempt a raid soon."

Colette frowned. "It's not right. I wish we could stop them like we did before."

"That's suicide, Colette. But I know how you feel." Raine sighed. "So where do you plan to go? I would avoid the towns near the ranches. Yuan—well, I have heard there been Desians entering the towns much more frequently. Most likely searching for us."

"Oh, I hadn't really thought about it." Colette shrugged, rubbing her arm. "Maybe Hima, take the land path, blend in with the other travellers."

Frank didn't comment, but his face showed his anxiety. Colette looked down. "So how long are you staying, Raine?" she asked, trying to change the subject. "Can you teach here for a while?"

"For a couple of weeks. They are allowing me to stay until Genis and Presea arrive and then we will discuss our next course of action. It is a shame you will miss them."

Colette just nodded, her thoughts distracted as she thought about leaving. Raine continued talking about how Genis was coping and how much he had grown, but Colette barely heard her. Despite what Lloyd said the night before, she felt afraid to leave the area, that if she did, he wouldn't be able to find her again.

She hoped he did find her again. She smiled at the thought, her hand reaching up to brush back her hair. Despite how he had acted before, she could help but feel excited to see him again, to hear him speak and feel his familiar presence. True it wasn't the exact same. He had changed a lot from what she remembered, but even then, she still wanted to see him again.

"Colette?" Raine called, bringing her out of her thoughts.

She looked up. "Oh, sorry, I missed that."

Raine smiled. "I asked if you would prefer coming inside to sit down."

Colette nodded. "Oh, of course."

* * *

Lloyd tapped the desk with his finger, glaring at the wall. His other arm was draped lazily across his lap as he leaned back in his chair. Slips of paper littered the desktop, some had little jot notes, others roughly sketched images. His eyes flitted down to one, a face...her face. His hand suddenly slammed on top of it before his fingers curled, scrunching it up into his closed fist.

His eyes returned to the wall, simmering darkly. Why couldn't he stop thinking about her? Why couldn't he push her out of his mind once again? He had done it once before, he should be able to do it again.

Of course, he knew the reason. He didn't actually want to. Why would he? This was an opportunity, a chance to return to his old life and leave this prison behind him. More than anything, he wished he could have back those seven years...

The paper crinkled as he clenched his hand tighter and shoved the chair back and stood, pacing angrily. What the hell was he thinking? Those seven years weren't wasted. If he had to choose a word to describe the years, he would admit he had _enjoyed_ them for the most part. A first, it was horrifying, but he couldn't pretend he hated the time he spent with his father. Though, he supposed that was the only part he had enjoyed...

He stopped and lifted his hand holding the picture. However, what he was doing now had nothing to do with the past. He had deliberately given Yggdrasill a false location, knowing full well why he was doing it. He wanted to see her again and he didn't want her to be caught. Perhaps a part of him knew that all along.

Striding over he dropped the paper in the metal wastebasket and moved his hand over it. The paper shifted and suddenly flared, bursting into flames. He watched for a moment as the paper withered beneath the heat before he spun and headed for the door, the paper crackling and disintegrating into ashes on the bottom of the can.

Lloyd stopped mid-stride on his way to the transporter as Kratos walked by. Kratos spotted him and smiled. "Hello, Lloyd."

Lloyd forced a smile in return, though his body tensed. "Hi, Dad."

Kratos walked over to him and Lloyd, though impatient, forced himself to relax. "Where are you going?"

"Picking up the Chosen's trail." Lloyd folded his arms. "I don't want to lose her."

"I see." Kratos frowned and then reached for his shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile. "Of course, you don't want to lose sight of her, not after all this time."

Lloyd froze, staring at Kratos blankly. It wasn't until his father's expression faltered, looking at him in concern that Lloyd caught himself and nodded. "Of course."

Kratos pulled back. "Well, I will see you when you get back. Don't be too long." He gave Lloyd a long look, before turning and walking away.

Lloyd stared after him, uncertainty filling his mind as he replayed his father's words in his mind. Did he know? Was Kratos playing with him?

He shook his head, smirking as he quickly made his way to the transporter. That was ridiculous. Lloyd had given nothing, no indication whatsoever, that he was lying about Colette's whereabouts or what he was planning to do. _I am just paranoid_, he reasoned as he past the angel guarding the transporter.

The instant his senses reawakened from the transfer, he grimaced in annoyance. It would definitely take him awhile to get use to the noise and the smells of this world. Even the colors bothered him to some extent. Too much green, in his opinion.

He sighed in irritation and glanced around. Warping using the transporter had its faults and benefits. It reserved mana consumption, but if the destination was beyond the Tower of Salvation, the accuracy lowered drastically. Shadows stretched out from the nearby trees as dusk settled in and the birds began twittering excitedly, much to his irritation. He gathered that he was relatively near Iselia. Most likely on the outskirts, but it was the wrong end of the village.

His hand twitched as he slowly began to recognize the landscape. Even after seven years, the layout remained moderately the same. The forest seemed to have expanded out more, but Lloyd couldn't deny where he was.

Moving forward, towards the badly overgrown footpath that he remembered vaguely, he entered the forest wearing an impassive expression.

It wasn't long before he spotted the frame of the old house, the overlaying balcony. He stopped as it came into view, staring at it with an unreadable expression, though his fingers gripped his sword hilt firmly.

The little creek trickled by still, though it seemed smaller to him now, as did the wooden bridge that lay across it. His eyes lingered on the shed that once housed the protozoan. It was empty now. Vaguely he wondered what had happened to Noishe...

His knee jerked once and he found himself stepping forward, slowly. The flowerbeds were bare, grass growing out of some of them. The clothesline hung limp and empty. The sun's rays glared off the windows, but no sounds came from within and he knew it was abandoned.

He should have been angry, hurt even, but he all he felt was disappointment and perhaps a little gratitude. As much as he had missed his foster father, he knew that to see Dirk would have caused more pain for the old dwarf than for Lloyd himself. Besides...

Turning his head slowly, Lloyd looked down the little dirt path next to the house. His mother's grave remained standing, seemingly untouched, not ravaged by the passing of time as the building had. Lloyd stepped carefully onto the bridge, feeling the rotted wood sink beneath his weight. His eyes flitted to the house once more, as he approached it. The windows were dirty and the vines had slithered up to twist around the balcony rails, obscuring much of the siding.

But he wasn't interested in the house. His russet eyes fixated on the grave, his brow furrowing as he dropped to one knee slowly, placing his hand on the name carved into the stone. He closed his eyes, bowing his head. It felt cool and smooth beneath his fingertips and he felt the groove of the letters. "Mom..." he muttered.

Staying like that for a few minutes, he sighed and opened his eyes before frowning and leaning back. A small bouquet of wild flowers lay before it, tied together with a small string. He stared it for a moment, and then glanced around the grave, noticing the grass was trimmed away, the small area almost preserved.

A small thump caused him to snap his head around as a light shone out from the second floor window. Hand fell to his sword and he stood slowly, watching it cautiously.

He heard more movement; soft footsteps descending the stairs and the light appeared on the first floor.

It wasn't Dirk. Lloyd knew that the dwarf wouldn't move that softly. Someone else was in that house. Anger boiled inside Lloyd and he quickly moved towards the front of the house, keeping his eye on the dirty window where the light flickered inside. He hadn't realized how dark it had gotten outside, but it worked to his advantage.

He stood before the door, listening before he unsheathed one sword. Then he slammed his foot into the door and strode in. Across the room, the figure jumped and a dish smashed to the ground, shattering.

In the same instant, Lloyd's eyes widened as he stared at Colette's pale face.

"L-Lloyd?"

"Colette, what the hell are you doing here?" Lloyd growled angrily.

**Please Review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Listening to **Lost Realist by Trapt. **Once again, thanks for reading and reviewing.  
Here's the next chapter.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 5:**

Lloyd advanced on her angrily, and Colette's eyes widened as she stared up at him. He threw his hand out. "I thought I told you to get out of here!"

Colette kept her eyes on him, hurt flickering in her eyes. "I wanted to see you again. So I waited here. I thought—"

Lloyd grabbed her wrist and leaned towards her face. "Do you realize how dangerous it is here? The Desians are just down the path and you thought it was a good idea to stay here?"

"Lloyd, let go of me." Colette frowned and tugged at her arm.

Lloyd blinked and then backed up releasing her wrist as he rubbed his face. "Look, didn't I tell you I could find you easily enough. How the hell do you think I found you before?"

Colette rubbed her wrist and looked away.

Lloyd sighed. "Look, Colette, I am sorry, I just—"

"I can take care of myself you know." Colette glared at him. "And I have been doing it without you telling me what to do. I know it's dangerous here, but it is also one of the safest spots. Desians never come this way anymore."

Lloyd brushed his hair back, only to have it fall back into place again. "I said I'm sorry. I didn't intend to get so upset with you. You caught me off guard; I thought you were someone else."

Colette looked at him curiously. "Who? Dirk?"

Lloyd chuckled dryly. "No, not Dirk. I'd know if he was still here. I thought you were a trespasser." He considered venturing to ask about his adoptive father's whereabouts, but held his tongue. He didn't really want to know, truthfully. That was something he could deal with at a later date.

"Oh." Colette kneeled and gathered the fragmented pottery. "Why did you come here anyway?"

"Visiting my mother's grave. Were you the one who left the flowers?" She nodded as gathered the broken pieces. Lloyd watched uncomfortably for a moment. "I was coming to check up on you."

Colette stopped and looked up at him, strands of loose hair curving around her cheek. "I thought you were visiting your mother?" Lloyd didn't respond, his eyes on the stray locks of hairs, fighting the desire to tuck them behind her ear. "Didn't you think I would be gone?" Colette rescued him, her fingers absently moving the hair.

"Ideally, but I figured you might stick around. I never thought you would be here, though." Lloyd glanced away and out the musty window at the dark trees bordering the house. "Suppose that is just ill-luck."

"Or good fortune," Colette countered. Lloyd looked back at her, but she was looking at the floor, picking up more shards. From that angle he couldn't tell if she was smiling.

Lloyd didn't reprimand her, though he found her view foolish. Instead, he let his gaze wander across the room. Light from a candle on the table made shadows dance across the walls and cupboards. Vines lay brown and withered on the floor around the posts, long dead. Some strands still clung to the wood, like cracked, twisted snakes. One touch would send them crumbling to the ground. Spider webs stretched across the ceiling and cupboards. Faintly he heard the scuttle of some rodent or another. Dust made the all the wooden surfaces seem gray and faded, but he assumed beneath it, it was still as he remembered it. Beneath all of it...

"I thought about cleaning it up a bit. You know, stay here for awhile." Colette stood, walking over to toss away the dish in the wastebasket.

"How long?" Lloyd asked after a moment. He didn't like the mixture of feelings twisting in his mind. Disappointment, nostalgia—he refocused on her.

Colette shrugged, brushing off her hands. "I don't know. Couple of weeks. Maybe a month."

"Colette, that's foolish. What will you do for food?" Lloyd scowled, annoyed with how indifferent she seemed about the situation.

She smiled and pointed out the window. "You know that garden around back? Well some stuff is actually growing beneath the weeds and I found some left over seeds Dirk kept—"

"No. You aren't staying here. The Desians will find you out eventually, they are still searching for you. And once they do, you will be trapped here." Lloyd slammed the wall and Colette lowered her hand slowly, turning to look at him. Didn't she remember what this place was? What it meant...

"I'm not running anymore, Lloyd. I am tired of it." Colette closed her eyes.

He quickly pulled back his resentment, quenching it, understanding her reasons now. However, he felt his anger rising at her submission. "You're not giving up like this, Colette. I won't let you give in." Lloyd's eyes flashed darkly and he strode over to her. "You understand me?"

Colette glared up at him, but there was desperation behind it. "I can't do it anymore, Lloyd. I can't. Do you know how hard it is to watch Desians raid and attack the towns just because I was there? To have all those people die because of me? I feel so cowardly running away, leaving all those people. And if I try to go back I just...make it worse." She locked her gaze with his, pleading for him to understand.

He did.

Lloyd clenched his teeth and rubbed his face, turning away from her. After a moment, he looked back. "Fine. Only because I know you won't listen to me either way." He made light of his response, despite the stupidity he felt for himself allowing this.

She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Thank you, Lloyd."

He snorted, folding his arms. After a moment, he sighed. "Are you sure you will be safe here?"

"Of course." She laughed. "Nobody comes up here. Dirk used to but..." she trailed off, but Lloyd just shrugged. "Do you want to see him?"

"No," Lloyd said. "It is easier if he thinks I am dead."

Colette bit her lip, both of them standing in an awkward silence. Lloyd sighed. He was always upsetting her, stating things too bluntly. However, what did she expect? For him to purposely act like a child because that is how she remembered him?

"Lloyd." He looked up just as she grabbed his hand, smiling. "Come with me."

He frowned, but allowed her to lead him up the stairs. Her long braid swayed as she practically bounced up the steps. He followed amused. She was obviously excited about something. It was nice to see her familiar behaviour.

Lloyd was forced to duck as they came to the top, the small doorway now a hindrance for his taller frame. He straightened up, his face hardening as he stared around his old room. The table was still littered with junk, covered in the layer of dust and the window as well. His bed was made, however...

"I cleaned it up, since I was planning on sleeping here," Colette explained, noticing his stare. "The sheets were awfully dusty and I had to wash them in the stream and let them dry. I haven't gotten to anything else yet." She looked around slowly.

Lloyd didn't say anything; just let his eyes wander around the room. Clothes still hung in his closet, little carvings resting on the shelves and half-made projects lay abandoned in the corners. All dust covered and neglected...

His eyes stopped on the desk and he stepped forward, letting his hand brush the objects. "I used these stones for your necklace." The dust smeared on his finger and the polished stones glimmered.

"I never did thank you for it." Colette touched her chest, the Cruxis Crystal hidden beneath her high collar. "It's what brought me back."

Lloyd looked at it and then back to the desk. "At least I did something to fix my mistakes," he muttered.

Colette grabbed his hand again and jerked her head. "Come on." She tugged him towards the door that led onto the balcony. "It's a little rotted, but most of it is still solid," she cautioned as she stepped out.

Lloyd ducked again, hair brushing against the frame. The chilled air struck his face and he smiled, staring out towards the forest. "It hasn't changed at all. It feels like that night," he said after a moment, eyes closing.

Colette nodded, squeezing his hand tightly. "It was such a long time ago." She sighed happily. "But I remember."

Lloyd smiled, eyeing her and he rubbed his thumb on her hand, turning his head upwards. For a moment, he gazed up, silent. "I don't see the stars much on Derris Kharlan." He felt her questioning gaze on him and he paused, then added, "The clouds cover most of the atmosphere."

"Tell me what it was like." Colette said after a moment, looking up at him. "I want to know."

Lloyd frowned, not looking at her. "No, you don't."

Colette reached up, touching his face. "Yes, I do. Please."

He found her gaze and her eyes bore into him. They weren't penetrating. Warmth and concern filled them. He felt as if he stood on a precipice and she stood before him holding him back, pulling him from the edge. She wanted to know. She wanted to share his burden, to know how to comfort him, to know how to help him. Colette smiled reassuringly and Lloyd found he couldn't stop himself from giving that to her. He backed up and motioned for her to sit. He slid down beside her, leaning against the wall, feeling the tentative words leave his tongue. "Eventually, Kratos convinced Yggdrasill to let me out..."

* * *

_Lloyd didn't bother to hide the anger on his face as he glared up at Yggdrasill. His dishevelled hair hung limp, a little shaggier than it used to be, but still out of his face. He felt dirty, unkempt in front of the two seraphim in the neat, pristine room. He probably smelled a little too, but he didn't really care what they thought of him. He was aware of Kratos—his father, standing to the side of Yggdrasill, his expression careful and guarded. Lloyd nearly sneered at the man, brimming with anger and hurtful betrayal to stand here humiliated before both of them and his father do nothing more than watch._

_"Kratos says that you have been behaving yourself." Yggdrasill said after a moment, smirking as he did. _

_Lloyd scowled, focusing now on him. He rubbed his arm where the angels had forcibly grabbed him to drag him here, the pain from the struggle was long gone, but he still felt burnt where they grasped him._

_The red jacket pulled tight as he moved his arm. In the past year, Lloyd had grown a good inch or more. He no longer bothered buttoning it up anymore, but the sleeves were now shorter, pulling up whenever he moved his arm. He only still wore it because of the bright color and for familiarity. He could no longer fit into his boots, they were heavy and useless anyway; therefore, he stood barefoot before them. He hadn't been given enough time to find his socks. His pants had become too short for his long legs and the waist snug as well. His suspenders hung uselessly at his sides. He felt the discomforts and the fuelled his resentment to the man speaking to him. How he stood there, with that smirk, waiting for him to reply—_

"_What the hell do you expect? You have me locked in a room," he snapped finally._

_Yggdrasill studied him in amusement and turned to Kratos. "It seems he has stopped yelling at least."_

_"I'm right here you, bastard. Why the hell did you drag me here if you aren't even going to talk to my face?" Lloyd growled at him. Kratos shot him a warning look, but Lloyd just ignored it. He wasn't about to act civil to his captor and he wasn't about to take advice from Kratos. _

_"Mind your tongue, human," Yggdrasill warned, narrowing his eyes. _

_"Whatever," Lloyd muttered and looked to the side. _

_Yggdrasill frowned. In a split second, he vanished from where he sat and reappeared in front of Lloyd. Lloyd gaped as Yggdrasill grabbed his throat and hoisted him off his feet._

_"Lloyd—" Kratos started anxiously, but Yggdrasill cut him off. _

_"You should be grateful, you despicable creature. If it wasn't for your father, I would crush your throat right now."_

_Lloyd choked, but in spite of it, his eyes glared venomously at him. His mouth even twisted in a snarl as he struggled for breath. Spots danced across his vision and dug his fingers desperately into Yggdrasill's wrist. The man smirked and released him. Lloyd dropped to one knee as he sucked in air. "You amuse me, Lloyd. Though you should consider being more respectful towards me. Perhaps I will be more indulgent with you staying here."_

_"Like hell I will." Lloyd straightened shakily and clenched his fists, burning with white, hot rage._

_"We'll see." Yggdrasill smirked and then motioned to the angels standing near the door. "Though I am surprised, Lloyd. No demands to go back? No begging to let you go?"_

_Lloyd jerked away as the angels grabbed his arms, but they seized him regardless. "I'm not begging for anything from you." He hissed as the angels dragged him back, trying to turn him around. "Get it? Nothing!"_

_Kratos stared at him solemnly as Yggdrasill smiled. "We'll see."_

* * *

Silence followed for a moment, the memory dwindling before him like a thread that he swiftly tucked away. The abrupt desire to share his pain fled him and he felt oddly giddy. Ashamed that he allowed her to share his pain. Foolish unnecessary pain...

Lloyd chuckled softly and Colette looked at him strangely. "Why are you laughing?"

Lloyd shook his head, rubbing his mouth as he smirked. "Now that I reflect on it, I was so childish then, immature and obstinate."

"I don't understand. Why is that funny?" Colette asked again, tilting her head curiously.

"Because it was pointless. It would have saved me a lot of struggling if I had just complied with his wishes. It was so foolish not to have actually." Lloyd draped his arms on his knees, glancing at her. "But then again, I was reckless back then. I've matured quite a bit."

Colette frowned, tugging at her shirt. "I think it was brave, how you stood up against Yggdrasill. I am glad that you did."

Lloyd found himself confused at her words. "Brave? It wasn't brave, Colette. It was idiocy. There was nothing to accomplish by acting like that, other than prolonging the inevitable," Lloyd scoffed, pushing himself up. He walked forward, the wood groaning beneath his feet, but he knew it would hold. Folding his arms, he glared out. Colette made no sound behind him and he closed his eyes in frustration. He had upset her again.

He didn't mean to. He actually wanted to please her. He remembered she always use to say he made her happy. Now all he could do was earn her unwanted sympathy and pity. That was the last thing he wanted. He had learned sympathy had little benefits in the end and it was useless.

"You are still as unselfish as ever, Colette." Lloyd turned his face towards her. Her blue eyes weren't large and childish anymore. They fitted her matured, slender face perfectly, staring up at him with adult gaze. How was it she could still bring forth that childish quality he loved and still appear as the strong woman she had become? He knew the answer and he unintentionally probed the tender area that he, himself had stripped away. Nothing more now than an empty hole of his past.

She didn't say anything to his earlier comment and he sighed. "It is late. You should rest."

"Are you staying?" Colette asked. "Can you stay here?"

Lloyd stared at her. "No."

Colette's expression faltered. "But—"

"I'm not staying," he repeated firmly and she huffed at him, getting to her feet.

"Well where are you going to go? Back to Cruxis?" Lloyd raised an eyebrow at the bitterness in her voice. However, she was more than just bitter. She was hurt, disappointed and above all else frightened. He saw it in her eyes; though she tried to hide it.

"Not at the moment, no. I am supposed to be searching for you, so I won't be missed for a few days at least." Lloyd corrected her, knowing it would ease her concerns, but confuse her more.

"So—" she started.

"I'll be back in the morning." He cut her off and she took the hint, falling silent. However, he couldn't help but shake his head at the smile and excitement on her face. How did he ever understand her?

He grabbed the balcony railing and vaulted over it, Colette exclaiming in surprise as he vanished over the side. She rushed to the edge as he landed on the ground with a muffle thud, his hand touching the ground to steady him. He straightened and glanced back at her surprised face, smirked and turned, walking off into the forest slowly.

* * *

She heard the birds first, the loud twittering coming through the walls. It was a familiar sound. A sound that had always greeted her in the morning when she travelled. She snuggled beneath the blankets, eyes still closed, relishing the softness of sleeping in a bed.

Then she heard soft breathing, a single footstep and her eyes fluttered open. Nothing was there and she stared blankly, head still pressed against the limp pillow. She stared at the closed balcony door before she slowly pushed herself up, staring around the room confused. Nothing had changed from the night before.

Figuring she must have imagined it, she stretched and then reached behind her head as she stood, undoing her messy braid.

She shivered slightly, the wooden floor cool on her bare feet as she ran her fingers through her tangled, wavy hair. Systematically, she picked up the small knife she had taken from kitchen, holding it loosely in her hand as she walked to the door, yawning. It was something of a habit she had learned from years of being alone. She'd have to buy a new one she thought as she opened the door, shivering again at the cool air as she stepped out. She breathed deeply, staring out at the mist filling the area.

"So you are awake?"

Colette spun around instinctively, the knife flying towards the intruder. Her eyes widen in recognition seconds before a hand snatched her wrist. Lloyd's eyes flickered, slightly amused. He didn't even look at the knife inches from his throat, his fingers loose around her wrist. "Good morning."

Instantly Colette pulled back, but guilty and a little annoyed at the events. "Don't startle me! I could have killed you." she huffed out, but gave a nervous smile, knowing she couldn't have. She didn't like that feeling of being vulnerable.

Lloyd studied her, a smile hovering, but not quite showing. "I said I would be back in the morning, did I not?"

Colette flushed, half annoyed and at the same time bubbling with happiness. "Right. I forgot."

"Obviously," Lloyd scoffed. Colette flinched, but kept a smile on, not wanting him to regret saying it. He stepped towards her. "There is fresh food downstairs. You can put it where you want."

Colette blinked. "You bought me food?"

"Something like that. I wasn't about to let you go back into town, since you are suppose to have left." Lloyd went to say something, but his instead his eyes looked her over. "You should probably get dressed. You will get chilled like that."

Colette looked at herself, flushing deeply when she remembered what she was wearing. Her usual clothes were all filthy, so she had borrowed one of Lloyds black undershirts, though still a little baggy, fit her snugly and a pair of his old pants, cinched with a belt. "Uh...I...Yes. Um...give me a minute?"

Lloyd shrugged and she hurried back into the room, shutting the door and setting the knife back near the bed. Her cheeks flamed as she quickly changed her clothes. Why was she so embarrassed about it? It wasn't as if he had been embarrassed seeing her like that. He probably thought she was strange for putting on his clothes.

She fumbled with the strap that she hung her charkams on, fixing it around her waist as she headed back to the balcony, redressed in her own clothes. "Sorry about that I..." she trailed, finding the balcony empty. She looked around, frowning. Had he left again?

Colette hesitated and then sighed angrily, heading back inside and down the stairs. Why did he have to do that all the time—?

"What are you so mad about?" Colette whirled around to find Lloyd sitting lazily in one of the chairs, watching her curiously.

"Quit doing that!" Colette exclaimed, embarrassed and flustered, but inside she was relieved to find him there. "I thought you left again."

Lloyd closed his eyes, arms folded loosely. "I'm not going anywhere for the moment. Just relax."

Colette huffed, but smiled and looked at the counter where a bag lay, bulging. "Where did you buy all that? I didn't think you had money. "

"Mostly from Triet. And why would you think I had no money?" Lloyd asked confused and she ducked her head.

"Well...I didn't think you would need money in Cruxis...and..." she trailed and Lloyd raised an eyebrow.

"Kratos had a large amount saved up. I just borrowed some from him."

"Oh," Colette murmured. They fell silent and she turned around, unpacking the supplies. "So...Kratos doesn't know that...I am here, right?"

"Why would he?" the response was curt and she grimaced.

"Well, you said he was your father, so I just thought maybe you told him," she replied quickly.

Lloyd's voice hardened. "I have no reason to tell him. And I am not going to." Colette was frightened, by hi s tone. Yet, when she turned around, she found his face blank. She wasn't sure whether this frightened her more or not.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, but he didn't answer, just turned his head to the side. Colette turned back to the food, placing it in the cupboards. Her initial excitement from the last day was gone, replaced with this heavy, upset tension that felt like a hand around her throat. She was angry with him for being so—so cold.

She frowned, sliding a box over slowly. No, it wasn't cold; it was as if he didn't want to show attachment or emotion. It shouldn't have been a surprise, considering that Kratos was his father. However, from what she remembered of the man, Kratos had refrained from showing emotions even in his voice.

Colette bit her lip. Lloyd had been right, he was different, despite what she might think or want to believe. She tried to overlook the curtness in his voice, the harshness of his eyes and the impassive expression on his face. But after that, what was left? Even the way he spoke reminded her of the mercenary all those years ago. She glanced over her shoulder at him. He was preoccupied, staring out the window with that same unreadable expression. Colette wondered if Lloyd knew how much he resembled Kratos.

His eyes shifted, catching her studying gaze and she smiled at him. He watched her for a moment, then looked back out the window, this time his brow furrowing in concentration. She turned away as well, swallowing as her throat tightened. Lloyd knew, and he knew she knew.

Colette reached for a can, her hand resting on it, clenching the sides. She needed to do something to help bring him back. To help him remember at least some part of him that was the old Lloyd. She knew he was still in there somewhere, forced to the back of his mind. Lloyd was just afraid of what would happen should that part surface again. But she would help him. She wasn't going to abandon him!

"Right!" she exclaimed loudly, slamming the can down and turned around.

Lloyd stared at her, blinking. "What?"

Colette flushed, but collected herself. "Lloyd. If you are going to be around for a little while, I have an idea so you won't get bored—"

"Idleness doesn't bother me. I am content to just sit," he assured her.

Colette shook her head. "No, you have done that too much. You need to do something to keep yourself busy." When he continued to stare at her indifferently, she cleared her throat and smiled. "Besides, I can't do it myself and it would help a lot."

Lloyd lifted an eyebrow and then sighed, rubbing his chin. "What is it, exactly, that you want me to do?"

Colette smiled. "Well, the balcony and the railing are awfully dangerous. It should be replaced, and well Dirk taught you a little carpentry and metalworking, didn't he? So I thought you—"

"You want me to repair the house?" Lloyd asked simply.

Colette bit her lip and nodded, smiling a little. "If you want to that is—"

"Fine." He cut her off, looking back out the window.

"W-what?" Colette blinked, surprised by his quick agreement.

"I will help you fix up the house." A small smirk came to his lips, still staring out the window. "It could be...interesting."

Colette smiled brightly, wanting to rush over and hug him, but she didn't. She just smiled and sighed in relief and happiness before turning to finish putting the food away. She wouldn't give up on him.

Lloyd called over. "Just don't make this a habit."

Colette laughed and Lloyd chuckled softly.

**Please Review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Listening to **Used to by Daughtry**. Rereading and editing this chapter was definitely a nice change of pace from reading **The Shining by Stephen King. **I don't usually get freaked out reading books, this is one exception. I can't wait to see how my roommate will handle it. Still can't believe our English Professor is making us read it. **

**Anyway, Thanks everyone for the wonderful reviews and reading. Always enjoy seeing them. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 6:**

The sun was shining warmly down into the little clearing and Colette wrapped her arms around her knees as she sat on the grass in front of the house. The dull thwack of a hammer echoed through the forest and the birds chattered angrily at the disturbance. However, to Colette, it couldn't have been more peaceful.

She brushed a hand through her bangs, letting them fall lazily above her eyes again as she stared up at the balcony. For the past couple of hours, she had been relating everything she had done in the years since she returned to Sylvarant

Once back in her own world, Colette had stayed with the Sages and Presea, who had come with them. They traveled together for nearly a year, settling in moving from town to town ever few months. Colette's failure to regenerate the world had spread through the towns quickly and their welcomes where often dry and terse. However, Colette soon became a primary target for the Desians, and travelling in a group had become too dangerous for the others. So, she had left them.

The years after had been incredibly dangerous, but Colette didn't go into to details about, knowing how it would upset Lloyd. He most likely noticed when she gave his questions vague answers concerning any encounters with the Desians. It wasn't something she wanted to relive either.

She rambled off into an explanation on how Yuan brought information back and forth between the two worlds after the party had split up. He had helped them quite a bit until just recently. Between pressuring the Sages to join the Renegades, and attempting to coerce Sheena into aiding them as well, they all were giving the Renegades a wide berth. Now Raine was the only one who still communicated with him regularly. Which still upset both Colette and Genis; neither of them had fully trusted the half-elf since the incident on Mount Fooji.

Oddly enough, Lloyd didn't seem surprised that Yuan was double-crossing Cruxis, or perhaps he just didn't care. Whatever the case, he asked very little about it. Then again, he asked very little at all. Throughout the entire time, Lloyd's responses were nothing more than silent nods and the occasional short question. Colette supposed that it made sense, since he was working and it would be difficult to talk back, though it did make the conversation a bit one-sided. However, she did manage to gain an occasional chuckle or smile at something she said and that was enough for her.

A couple of times she offered to help, but he just shook his head, saying he would do it alone. She wasn't sure how to feel about his reply. However, Lloyd seemed to be enjoying the distraction so she didn't pressure him about it. Occasionally, he would interrupt and ask her to pass up a board or a few nails, anyway.

"So Raine is in the village right now. Genis and Presea are suppose to be coming in a week or two," she continued, hesitant to venture into the more current interactions. She waited for a response, but was only answered with another thwack of the hammer, so she carefully ventured. "They would be so happy to know you are back and—"

"They aren't going to know," Lloyd responded gruffly, on his knees as he yanked a rotten board up, tossing it to the ground causally. "And you won't tell them."

Colette frowned. "But why not? Don't you want to see them? Don't you miss them?" His curt request confused her.

"Yes." Came the reply, as he picked up newer slab of wood. The wood itself wasn't new. Most of it Lloyd had scavenged from Dirk's supply and had cut it himself.

Again she waited for him to expand, but he didn't. Colette hugged her knees tighter. "Then why—"

"They don't need to see me like this. As I had said earlier concerning Dirk, it is better if they think I am dead." His head lifted slightly and he looked at her firmly. "If word gets around I am..._back,_" he said the word oddly, as if he had rather use another, "Then it will be carried to the Desians and through them to Yggdrasill. If that happens, he will wonder why I am in the wrong region, when I am meant to be searching for you near Asgard. Therefore, it will put your location in danger and theirs. So you are not telling them."

There was a long pause. His explanation made sense, she supposed. But the way he spoke, it was as if he was assuming they'd gossip about him to the local villagers. Colette was certain that if Lloyd just explained his situation, they'd be willing to keep his return a secret.

Besides..." he voice cut into her thoughts suddenly. She lifted her eyes curiously, watching as he hammered another nail into place. A slight pause. "...I doubt they'd be happy."

Colette wasn't sure of what to make of his words. She didn't understand why he'd believe they'd think that. She didn't agree with him at all. But she didn't say anything. It was difficult to argue with Lloyd now, especially when it came to her, or their friends. He didn't like mentioning the others at all and it bothered her. She didn't know why he avoided mentioning their names. Perhaps it was just memories that ached. She hoped it wasn't resentment.

It was hard to believe that he was actually supposed to be the one taking her back to Derris Kharlan. Instead, he was the one taking excessive precautions to protect her. The thought made her flush and she turned her face away, trying to think of other things. As hard as it was.

For a few minutes, the clunking of boards and thwacks of the hammer was the only conversation in the clearing. Beyond that, Colette could also hear the water from the stream, the birds chatter, and the light brush of wind in the trees and in the distance, the resounding echo of the hammer. For a brief minute, she panicked, wondering if the sound would alert the people in Iselia, or worse the Ranch and make them curious. However, she looked back up at Lloyd and realized that if he had it dangerous, he wouldn't have done it. Nevertheless, she asked him about it anyway.

Lloyd shook his head. "They will hear it, but it is just your sensitive hearing that makes it seem particularly loud. The Ranch will assume it is from the village and in exchange the village will believe it is the Ranch."

"Oh." Colette relaxed, trusting his judgement. She paused for a minute. "Lloyd, why don't you take a break? You have been working for quite some time."

Lloyd grunted, obviously declining and Colette frowned, standing up to scold. "Come on, I will make up something..." she trailed off as Lloyd stood up, her eyes widening and her face burning red right to her ears.

Lloyd had started working early in the morning, but as the sun climbed, he had removed his outer vest and gauntlets, wearing just his black undershirt. Colette had seen Lloyd plenty of times like that when they were kids, but she couldn't help but notice that the undershirt was not nearly as baggy as it use to be, but now more fitting. Not to mention that the sweat made it cling to his chest, clearly showing the muscles he had developed since then.

She had managed—much to her embarrassment—to hide her blushing, when he did remove the vest earlier, but now she couldn't even really think. Lloyd's hands gripped the bottom of his black shirt, peeling it up and over his head with a heavy sigh of relief. Sweat glistened of his chest, finely shaped muscles moving in accordance to his actions as he brushed a hand over his forehead; dark, sweaty bangs lifted out of his face and his black shirt now a rolled up ball in his left hand.

As a young teen, Lloyd would have fit the description of a scrawny kid compared to the other men of the village. Colette found no trace of that anymore. Now broad shoulders rolled back as he stretched; thick and muscular arms had long removed any sign of a young boy's physique and a finely, chiselled chest and torso replaced the skinny little teen she remembered all those years ago. It was Lloyd, a Lloyd who was now a young, fully-grown, man. His small, boy-like appearance had changed and been moulded into someone she had never imagined him to be; yet, somehow, she found her gaze locked on him.

For a moment, Lloyd just stood there, eyes closed as a breeze swept through the clearing, cooling him, and Colette found her mind telling her to get a hold of herself before he noticed—

Too late.

Lloyd's eyes snapped open without warning and found hers. Heat flushed through her face again and Lloyd was stared at her in confusion. "Are you alright, Colette?"

"I-I was saying I could make you s-something too...uh...cool you down, seeing as you probably...are...hot... " she trailed off and Lloyd stared at her in silence. After a moment, Lloyd looked down at himself, at his shirt and then back to Colette, who flushed again, looking away quickly. "Sorry!" she exclaimed.

There was silence and Colette closed her eyes, feeling completely foolish when she heard him laugh. It was still not like his old one, but it was louder than his usual chuckle. A rough, quick laugh. She looked up at him in surprise to see him leaning on the rail, a crooked smile on his face. "I guess you noticed my...improvement."

Colette blinked in shock. "Well, I-I..."

Lloyd smirked, shaking his head. "You don't have to be embarrassed. Though..." he muttered, "perhaps I should be." He shrugged suddenly as if to shake off the thought and softened his expression. "I suppose it is a little surprising."

Colette swallowed, and though the heat in her face was still there, she didn't think she was flushing as badly. "How did you...I mean, I didn't think—"

"Training." Lloyd smirked again, chuckling a little before he jumped off the balcony, crouching to soften the jolt and then straightened, throwing his shirt over his shoulder lazily. "There was nothing else to do on that desolate comet, so Kratos...amused me with training exercises. Got to the point that I performed them whenever I became bored, which was quite often." He walked closer, smiling now as Colette flushed again, her eyes unintentionally staring at his bare torso, tracing the curves with her eyes. She managed to tear them away to meet his face, but that possibly might have been worse as he was watching her reaction with great amusement. His slender, matured face was now more enhanced since she had seen the rest of his body. It just completed him.

He paused in front of her, half smiling. "I suppose this is just one of the consequences." He wiped his face again and stretched. "I am going to cool off at the stream."

Colette nodded and stammered. "I-I will just go and get-uh-get us something to drink."

He shrugged and turned, walking to the stream and Colette hurried into the house, sidestepping the large pile of discarded boards in front. Once inside, she took a deep breath, calming her nerves and then moved over to the cupboard, pulling out a small can of tealeaves. She found a couple of mugs and dipped in the cold water out of the covered basin that Lloyd had filled for her the day before. She set the mugs on the counter before gathering dishes to grind the leaves in, her eyes lifting to look out the window.

Lloyd knelt next to the stream; a cupped hand splashing water onto the back of his neck, then using both, splashed it on his face, combing his hair back. She couldn't see his face, only his back, still covered with a sheen of sweat reflecting the sun. She unconsciously slowed down crushing the leaves as she watched him. He straightened, still on his knees, staring ahead of him into the bush. She wondered what he was thinking. What was bothering him? She frowned when he sat like that for a long time, but then he suddenly reached down, grabbed his shirt and submerged it into the water, swishing it a bit and then draping it, still sopping wet, around his neck. Colette physically saw him relax and she realized that he had actually been tense the entire time.

He sat like that, head bent, shoulders slouched and hands resting on his legs. Had he actually been...embarrassed? She hadn't even thought he had been. He seemed so causal about it, so...indifferent to the idea that he was...well _physically _different as well as mentally...

She watched him until he made to stand and she quickly looked down, resumed crushing the leaves, and then poured them into the water, stirring the powder around as they dissolved into the liquid and straining the pieces that didn't. She dug around in the fruit, pulling out a lemon and slicing it, squeezing the juice into the tea and then dropping the slice in as well along with a large uncrushed tealeaf to help steep it. She smiled a bit as she picked up the mugs, moving slowly back towards the door.

Lloyd was standing where they had been before, arms folded. He turned to look at her the instant she opened the door. Colette avoided looking up, instead focusing on the ground as she made her way over to him. "I made cold tea, although I didn't have time to heat the water and then cool it, so I hope it still—"

"It will be fine." Lloyd cut her off and she glanced up at him. He seemed distracted. "Thank you." He took one mug and then gestured for her to sit. She swallowed and did, Lloyd following immediately after.

Colette sipped her drink, but Lloyd just held it, staring at it thoughtfully. "Aren't you thirsty?" she asked.

"I don't get thirsty, Colette," he replied, but before she could reply he smiled at her. "But I will drink some in a bit."

Colette frowned, but nodded. It was true, she didn't need to eat, but she did feel hungry and thirsty quite often now. She had always wondered why she had regained her appetite after Lloyd gave her that key-crest, though her hunger was only occasional. After, she made a habit of eating, her appetite returned to normal, relatively. Then again, Kratos had eaten little during the journey, not nearly as much as he should have. However, it was obvious that he could taste, especially after Raine's particular cooking incident. The memory made her smile, but she still wondered if Lloyd was like her and only needed to eat occasionally or if, he was like Kratos and could survive on even less. "Lloyd?"

"Yes?" he asked.

"When you say you don't get thirsty, does that mean...you don't have to eat?" Colette looked at him.

"In a manner of speaking," he sighed. "Kratos explained it to me once. The Angel Transformation alters your body's metabolism, changes your strength and your senses correct?" Colette nodded and he continued. "Well at the same time, the body alters its need to require food. Food is basically a nutrient that breaks down into the mana allowing our body to survive. It gives other benefits, of course, but that is the main one. Since the Cruxis Crystal—or in my case, my exsphere—creates a large amount of mana, food isn't a necessity. Our bodies can survive on little to no food for over a year—in the best conditions though. Of course, the more active you are the sooner you would need to eat."

Colette stared at him wide-eyed. However, Lloyd didn't seem to notice. "When I was isolated, it was complete isolation. They didn't even bring food for me because I didn't need it. I started feeling hungry after what I guessed was a month, but it gradually went away. After that, I only ate when I believed I should have."

"Oh, I get it." She nodded, then paused, smiling a little. "Raine would be proud of you for knowing all that," Colette murmured and Lloyd looked at her in confusion and then shook his head.

"Yes, I suppose she would." He smiled back. It was a tentative smile.

"I would like to hear more, about what happened." Colette was surprised to see his smile hadn't vanished. He held that shaky smile, studying her face and then looked away, finally sipping from his mug.

"Alright," he said after a brief pause. "I believe you were curious about how I changed so drastically. Perhaps I could tell you why I did." Colette flushed and ducked her head, but he didn't comment. "Kratos was very adamant about training me...

* * *

_"Damn it! That hurt!" Lloyd clutched his bleeding arm and glared at his father angrily. "You slashed me!"_

_"You are exaggerating. The pain is nullified greatly now. Besides you won't die from it." Kratos corrected him, though despite what he said, he walked forward and healed Lloyd's arm. _

_Lloyd scowled and rubbed it, noticing it now left a thin white scar. "I thought you said this was supposed to be fun. Not life threatening."_

"_Depends how you look at it." Kratos smirked. _

_Lloyd glowered and bent to pick up his fallen sword. The two of them were in the training grounds near the center of the city. Kratos had decided it was an appropriate place for Lloyd to exercise daily and release much of his frustration, after he nearly trashed his room following a meeting with Yggdrasill. To Lloyd, it was an escape, if only for a little while. Fighting was something that he enjoyed and hadn't changed. And he still wanted to get stronger. _

_Still, the silence of Welgaia wore at him. It wasn't the same as training in the forest or with open grassland like on the Journey of Regeneration. Training here held no meaning for him. It was just something to do..._

"_How I look at it, I want to get off this stupid comet," he muttered angrily, feeling his resentment for his predicament returning. _

_Kratos humour vanished. "You know that is not possible. You said so yourself."_

_Lloyd winced and looked to the side. "I know. I suppose it is just wishful thinking." It was true. Kratos had made more than one offer to sneak him back to Sylvarant, but Lloyd had declined, though it was hesitant each time. Once he even wound up in his father's arms, sobbing, begging him to stop asking. Kratos had tried to take him then, but Lloyd told him no. No matter how hard it was, he couldn't go back. If he did, where would he go? He couldn't go back to the others, leading Cruxis right to them. That's what Yggdrasill wanted to; drag them all out of hiding. And Colette was still hidden and safe. If she found out he was back...it just wasn't worth risking his friends' lives. _

_Kratos looked down at him. "Would you like to continue?" he said it with a comforting tone. Lloyd no longer found his avoidance to personal matters aggravating. It was just Kratos' way. Lloyd found that he didn't mind the privacy either, now. _

_Lloyd smiled and nodded. "Sure. I still need a couple more bruises," he said, getting into his stance. Training helped pass the time and Kratos never got tired of humouring him. At first, Lloyd had outright refused to train, thinking it was Yggdrasill's idea to break him down into submission. Kratos admitted that Yggdrasill had suggested training, but Kratos wasn't searching to manipulate him. _

_"You're foot work has definitely improved." Kratos praised him, though Lloyd just glared back at him suspiciously, as he circled. It wasn't that he didn't believe the praise; he just knew Kratos was trying to distract him, make him cocky so he could beat him down again. Despite that, Lloyd nearly missed the sword that swung at his legs. Barely jumping back to dodge, he grunted in surprised as Kratos came back and thrust at his chest. He blocked hastily, but the force of the collision made him stumble and Kratos' sword pointed as at his throat. "Nice try."_

_Lloyd glowered and knocked Kratos' away with his own. "You are a jerk. Why are you being so hard all of a sudden? You never fought this hard on the journey. " It was frustrating how easily Kratos could disarm him. They had already been at this for over a month and he still hadn't improved. His father just seemed to fight harder and harder. _

_"You weren't as strong on the journey." Kratos lowered his sword. "Right now, you have the potential to equal my strength if you use it right. You just need to begin applying it."_

_He knew what he was talking about. The angelic strength, the accessible mana stored within his exsphere that he could willing draw upon. He had felt it before. Once by accident, felt it starting to stir. It had frightened him and he quickly drew away from it, cutting it off. To think his father wanted him to willingly use that strength..._

_Lloyd's expression darkened considerably and he sheathed his sword. Spinning on his heel, he strode away from Kratos. "I'm done," he replied gruffly. _

_"Lloyd—" Kratos started. _

_"I'm done!" Lloyd repeated, walking quickly to his room. Once inside he turned and kicked the chair. It skittered across the floor, falling over with a loud bang and he growled in frustration, slamming his hands on the desk. The wood shuddered and he instantly pulled away, eyes wide when he realized he nearly cracked the desktop. _

_He lifted his hands, staring at them in frustration and fear. He could feel the strength, energy resting throughout his body, down to the very tips of his fingers. Closing his fist, he could feel it travel up his arm, through his muscles, tensing them. His face twisted in rage and he clenched it tightly, spinning and slamming his fist into the wall. There was a loud bang and sharp snap as the wall indented, small thin cracks wriggling out in different directions beneath his hand, blood staining the wall from his bleeding knuckles._

_He stared at it, pulling his hand away just as Kratos entered the room. Lloyd turned, his expression filled with disgust, his body trembling. Kratos looked from Lloyd to the wall and back. "Lloyd—"_

_"What the hell am I?" Lloyd snapped at him. "I shouldn't be able to do that!" he pointed at the wall. He felt it surging within him still, lingering and building with his anger. He gritted his teeth, trying to cut it off._

_Kratos frowned and stepped forward. "Lloyd, your strength doesn't change you—"_

_"Like hell it doesn't!" Lloyd clenched his fist, glaring at him and felt it flare again. "I just—I didn't want this! I never wanted to become this! And now I can't go back! Tell me I haven't changed! Tell me!" _

_Kratos just stared sadly at him. Lloyd spun around and sat on the bed, burying his face into his hands. "I never wanted this. I never wanted any of this," he choked into his hands and he heard Kratos walk towards him. A hand found his shoulder and he involuntarily tense under it. He trembled, but from emotion or the intense feeling of strength, he wasn't sure. It frightened him._

_"You are no different than before, Lloyd. You know you aren't." Kratos squeezed his shoulder before letting go. Lloyd lifted his head slowly as Kratos moved to pick up the chair and set it down across from him before sitting himself down. Lloyd stared at him and Kratos returned the look. _

_"D-Dad?" Lloyd spoke after a moment, looking down. "I can't do it. I won't help him."_

_"I know." _

_Lloyd bit his lip, hands shaking and he clasped them together. It was fading. "I know he thinks that I will. Thinks I have no choice, that just because he turned me into a—an angel, he thinks he can control me. But I am not going to let him, damn it!" he clenched his hands again, staring at them. "If I am this now, if I am an angel, then I will use it to stop him!" He would use this damnable strength to stop him! _

_Lloyd lifted his eyes to his father to find him with an unreadable expression. Lloyd smirked and released a harsh laugh. "I sound pretty pathetic, don't I?" _

_Kratos shook his head. "No. I just want you to be all right. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to. If you want to defy Yggdrasill, I won't get in your way as long as you don't endanger yourself." _

_"Thanks." Lloyd gave him a crooked grin. Wasn't any defiance endangering him? He let that question go, knowing what his father really meant._

_Kratos smiled lightly in return, though it was tense. "I suppose that would explain why you have refrained from releasing your wings."_

_Lloyd's smile vanished. "Yeah. At least that is one thing I can control," he said it, but it wasn't with anger. He knew Kratos picked up on that._

_"Yes, I suppose it is." He tilted his head and Lloyd glowered at the wall. _

_"I can't give Yggdrasill the pleasure of seeing me as one of his angels. S-So, if I don't use them, if I don't bring them out, that proves that, right?"_

_Kratos nodded, then after a moment. "But you are curious." _

_Lloyd looked at him sharply. "No!" he snarled in anger. "Why would you think that?" He wouldn't admit that! Never admit it!_

_"It's understandable why you would be. I have noticed you looking at my own when I take them out." Kratos watched him carefully and Lloyd turned away, his anger disappearing._

_"It doesn't really matter. Even if I did care, I can't take them out. I can't let him win." Lloyd frowned._

_"Indeed." Kratos nodded. _

_Lloyd hesitated. But was he really letting him win? Lloyd looked at him. "But, it-it's not like he would know anyway, if I did take them out. I mean he can't prove that I did."_

_"I would not tell him." Kratos assured his son. _

_Lloyd nodded, the uncertainty drifting through him. "I mean, it would be just to look at them anyway. Not like I am going to use them."_

_Kratos didn't respond, watching sadly as his son tried to reason with himself that it was alright. Lloyd stood up and walked past him, feeling his father's eyes follow him. He stood there for a moment, then turned around. "S-so how do you take them out anyway? You know, just curious."_

_"Just think about it and let the mana gather at your back," Kratos answered calmly and Lloyd nodded, but didn't move. It wasn't as if he was going to bring them out anyway..._

_"So, Yggdrasill won't find out?" Lloyd asked again. _

_"I will not tell him." Kratos assured him. _

_Lloyd nodded. "Good." _

* * *

Lloyd tapped his finger against his empty cup, frowning. "I suppose I got a little off topic there." He sighed and rubbed his face. "Forgive me."

"What do they look like?" Colette asked and he turned to her, find her eyes alight with curiosity.

Lloyd blinked in surprised. "What, exactly?"

"Your wings. You stopped before you described taking the out." Colette tilted her head. "What do they look like?"

"Is that all you were thinking about this whole time?" Lloyd asked, eyebrow raised and Colette flushed. "I stopped because it isn't important." He rose to his feet.

Colette followed quickly and grabbed his arm. "It is to me." She countered, staring up at him determinedly.

Lloyd frowned. "Colette—"

"I am an angel too, Lloyd. I know what it is like to be different, to feel like a completely different person, not in control. Have you forgotten that?" Colette demanded.

"Of course not." Lloyd closed his eyes. "But you already see me as stranger. I didn't want to emphasize that anymore."

Colette just shook her head. "You aren't a stranger."

Lloyd held her gaze, searching her eyes carefully. That curiosity was still there. He sighed and tugged off the shirt still hanging around his neck and walked away from her.

"Lloyd..." she called, but trailed off as he stopped after a few feet.

His eyes remained closed and he breathed deeply for a second. Mana flowed towards his shoulder blades; he could feel it moving within him, twisting and compressing together. The mana started to slip from his back, seeping through the skin as the tips of his wings took shape, the feathers smooth and sharp as they extended out. He exhaled again as they stretched straight out, the full wings extending out before flaring open and spreading to the side. They would be longer than his arms when extended. The bottom feathers splayed out like the fingers on a hand, before he sighed and they folded inward, settling against his back. The mana shifted between jade green and royal blue as they moved.

They were pure mana, like the other seraphim, but they were different in that his wingspan was much longer, each feather was individualized and layered, much like a bird's, his father had told him.

Lloyd closed his eyes, listening for Colette's reaction. But he didn't hear anything. He frowned and turned his head to find her right behind him her hand inches from his wings, staring at them in awe.

"They are remarkable," she murmured and then looked up at him smiling brightly.

He looked at her curiously, turning to face her, his wings opening slightly with his movement. She pulled back a little, blushing as he studied her. He smiled and reached over, touching her faintly pink cheek. "It makes me happy to see you smile like that."

Colette's blinked in surprised and he took his hand away quickly. "I should get back to work, now." He handed her his shirt. "Could you hold on to this for me?" he asked, pulling his wings back in. The mana seeped smoothly back into his skin, with some floating to the ground.

"Sure." Colette nodded, standing still and pink-cheeked as he walked past her back to the house. He could feel her eyes on him again and chuckled to himself as he entered the house.

**Please Review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Listening to, **I Can't Hold Back by Survivor. **If this song doesn't describe this chapter, I don't know what does. Suggested by Freaky, who I thank! Well I guess this is posted two hours late. Forgot to edit the chapter the other night and had to drive home today.  
Anyway, thanks for the reviews everyone! Always appreciated! **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 7:**

The week passed quickly and Lloyd found himself reluctant to return to Cruxis and leave Colette there alone. The more time he spent with her, the more he discovered that her childish qualities were somewhat returning. Colette had someone to rely on now and to watch out for her, despite assuring Lloyd she could survive on her own. In short, she was becoming comfortable and careless.

Alternatively, perhaps Lloyd was just anxious at the thought of abandoning her again. The Iselia Ranch was an ever-looming threat, neighbouring just a couple miles away and he had never been comfortable with her idea of staying in the area to begin with. He was concerned for her safety.

Lloyd leaned against the side of the house watching Colette weeding the little garden she had spoken of. Her braid was balled up in a messy bun and her white shirt had smears of dirt on it, as well as her pants. Frowning, he sighed and turned his eyes to the forest, not really seeing it.

He needed to leave. It wasn't a matter of wanting to, but of necessity. Just having his presence here threatened her life. He had made a few appearances in Triet and once in Izoold, gathering whatever supplies Colette needed or desired, and he knew that even if no one recognized him, or knew who he was, word of his position would eventually return to Cruxis if he appeared too frequently.

He rubbed his face. Not only that, Lloyd had been forced to wander through Asgard twice throughout the week, leaving Colette at dusk and arriving back before noon the next day. He had purposely sought out a Desian scout, allowing the half-elf to find him. He questioned the underling, giving his name and listening to the man's useless report. It unsettled him knowing—despite Yggdrasill's word that the Ranch wouldn't interfere—that the Desians were watching the area. It could pose a problem with his false reports.

Colette exhaled loudly, leaned back on her knees, and looked at him. She smiled, brushing her bangs back and leaving a smear of dirt on her forehead. Lloyd just stared at her and her smile vanished. "You look upset. What's wrong?"

"I'm returning to Cruxis tomorrow morning," he replied after a moment. He hated the disappointed expression that filled her face and he turned away. "I should make an appearance or they will get suspicious."

Colette pushed herself up, brushing off her knees. "When will you be back? The next day?"

"No." Lloyd straightened and turned around. He heard Colette walk towards him, touching his arm as she looked up at him.

"What do you mean 'no'?" she asked in confusion. "Will it take longer than that?"

Lloyd grimaced and shut his eyes. It had crossed his mind plenty of times, during the course of the week, in fact. Being with Colette was not helping her. It wasn't protecting her. It took him every ounce of logic to convince himself this, but he knew it was true. The more time he spent with her, the more Cruxis would question his absence. The easier it would be to let something slip. Already he felt paranoid that his father knew, mistaking Kratos' harmless statements to be subtle admonishes. It had forced him to risk lying directly to Yggdrasill, not knowing what the man had heard from other sources.

"Lloyd?" Colette's voice cut through his thoughts and he stared down at her.

"It would be better if I waited a while. Perhaps come back at the end of the month," he said it, if only because he felt it was right. He hated her attempts to hide her distress at hearing his words. He hated himself for not taking her in his arms and saying it will be all right, that he would return as soon as he could. He wanted to; he just didn't, because he knew he couldn't.

Colette lowered her head. "I...I understand."

He heard the catch in her voice. His hand lifted for a second, reaching for her arm, but he stopped and laid it on the hilt of his sword. "Forgive me."

She looked at his hand and then up at him. "Why do you do that?"

Lloyd grunted and turned his head away, but her hand reached up and turned it back. His muscles tensed at the touch of her hand on his cheek and he frowned. "Colette..."

"Are you afraid to touch me? You tense every time I touch you." She brought her hand down, but Lloyd could still feel the sensation of her hand on his skin.

"I..." Lloyd struggled to form the words, unsure himself. "I do not wish to cause you distress."

Colette blinked in surprise and then laughed. Lloyd cleared his throat in frustration and Colette shook her head. "If you want to hold my hand, or touch my cheek, I don't mind."

Lloyd cleared his throat again. "It's fine."

Colette's face fell. "Alright. I'm going to go wash up." She turned and walked towards the stream.

Lloyd stared after her. His hands clenched before he lifted on and his fingers brushed against his cheek, before he scowled and looked away.

He had learned a long time ago, that you didn't do what you wanted, but only what was necessary to survive...

* * *

_The air was tense between the two men. For once Kratos wasn't there because Yggdrasill had decided to speak to Lloyd alone, wanting to judge his behaviour without his father's presence. Well Lloyd wasn't about to grant any large expectations. _

_"Lloyd." Yggdrasill acknowledged him. Lloyd stared back at him stonily and Yggdrasill smirked. "Still as defiant as ever, I see."_

_Lloyd remained silent. He had found that silence worked in his favour. It both defied Yggdrasill, but it also saved him from the harsher punishments the Seraph gave if he back-talked. Not to mention, it gave Lloyd, himself, satisfaction to ignore the man._

_"I am not particularly in the mood, Lloyd, so I will be straight. Kratos informs me that you refuse to reveal your wings. You also refuse to use any spells. Why?" Yggdrasill watched him in annoyance._

_Lloyd met his gaze and then turned his face to the side with a bored expression. He had heard it all before, lectures on how if he was to be kept alive, he would need to be useful. Kratos had actually been surprise when Yggdrasill told him to teach Lloyd to manipulate mana and learn to cast spells. Lloyd had just reacted in anger and told his father he wouldn't do it._

_Yggdrasill's eyes narrowed. "Silence again, boy?"_

_Lloyd turned to glare at him, but instead his eyes widened in surprised to find Yggdrasill directly in front of him. Lloyd started to step back when Yggdrasill backhanded him and knocked him to the floor. Lloyd grunted and held his cheek only to have Yggdrasill reach down and grab him by his collar, hauling him up. "Your silence only works when your father is here. He fears that I would kill you, but I am not foolish enough to try that, even if he isn't here," he spoke calmly, but Lloyd could hear the disgust and annoyance in his voice and Lloyd swallowed loudly. _

_Yggdrasill sneered, lifting him right off the ground. "You think you are clever, think you are defying me. How long do you think it will last, Lloyd? How long do you think you can continue to pretend nothing about you has changed? How long before you just start accepting that you obey me now?"_

_Lloyd snarled, gripping Yggdrasill's wrist. "As long as it takes for you to realize I won't." _

_"Can you honestly tell yourself that?" Yggdrasill smirked and Lloyd stumbled as the man dropped him. "Perhaps you can't see the difference yourself, but I can and so can your father. Your personality is already shifting. Your behaviour, how you talk, how you present yourself." Lloyd's eyes widened and Yggdrasill smiled. "Two years ago, you wouldn't even recognize yourself as you are now."_

_"Stop it," Lloyd snapped, clenching his fists. _

_"You are changing, Lloyd Aurion. Even now you try to control yourself, try to act like you are the one in charge, fighting the urge to attack me." _

_"I said stop it!"_

"_Trying to pretend that everything I am saying right now doesn't affect you. That if you keep calm, I won't have the satisfaction of seeing you snap." _

_"Shut up!"_

_"And you don't even realize, by behaving like this..."_

_Lloyd was seething, his fist trembling, struggling to keep himself from lashing out as Yggdrasill leaned towards him. It was what Yggdrasill wanted; he was baiting him, trying to make him attack, and trying to make him lose control..._

_Yggdrasill smirked, eyes gleaming. "By behaving like this, you are doing exactly what you are supposed to."_

_Lloyd froze, eyes widening in shock. "W-what?"_

_Yggdrasill pulled back, his smile gone. "You know what I mean."_

_"I-I—Shut up! I don't do anything I don't want to!" Lloyd shouted at him. _

_"Of course. You are consciously making the correct choice by respecting me," Yggdrasill answered. _

_Lloyd shook his head in frustration. "I am not respecting you, damn it! I don't do anything you want me to!"_

_"Take out your wings, Lloyd." Yggdrasill narrowed his eyes._

_"No!" Lloyd snapped angrily. _

_"Take out your wings, now," Yggdrasill repeated, moving towards him. _

_"Go to hell!" Lloyd snarled stepping back. _

_Even as he placed his foot down, Yggdrasill's hand smacked him across the face and he stumbled back. Before he could even regain his balance, something bright flew at him, struck him on the shoulder and spun him around, knocking him to the floor. His shoulder burned and his eyes watered from the blinding light. _

"_Take out your wings." Yggdrasill's voice sounded above him and Lloyd's vision cleared enough to see Yggdrasill glaring down at him._

"_No," he grunted. _

_Yggdrasill's hand shot down, grabbed Lloyd's neck, and pinned him to the floor. Lloyd gasped and choked, seizing Yggdrasill's wrist with his hands to try to pry them off. "You want to struggle? Go ahead, push me away," the seraph taunted._

_Lloyd glared at him despite the lack of air entering his lungs. He wheezed, his hands pushing against Yggdrasill's, his arms shaking from the effort. _

"_You are stronger than that." Yggdrasill leered, watching as Lloyd strained. "Can't you feel the energy?"_

_Though Lloyd tried to block out Yggdrasill's voice, he still heard him and he could feel it. The energy was surging through his body, the excess mana stored in his exsphere rushing into his arms and muscles, like adrenaline. Lloyd snarled as he used it, moving Yggdrasill's hand back just an inch. _

_It was all Yggdrasill wanted. _

_Lloyd lurched as Yggdrasill pulled back; the angel smiled. "Very good, Lloyd. I'm impressed."_

_Leaning on his elbows, Lloyd breathed heavily as he blinked in shock. The energy still lingered in his body and as he went to sit up, the movement was so effortless it felt as if hadn't even moved._

"_I...I—"_

"_Now, if you have settled down, take out your wings," Yggdrasill said simply as if nothing had just occurred. _

_Lloyd scowled, but he was a little more wary. "Why?"_

"_Because it was an order." Yggdrasill narrowed his eyes. "Now take them out."_

"_You can't order me around!" Lloyd snarled and though he already regretted his outburst, he wasn't about to obey him. "I'm not one of your pawns!"_

_Yggdrasill's foot collided with Lloyd's chest and he slammed back down. His head smacked onto the floor with a crack. "The sooner you do, the sooner we will be finished here."_

_Lloyd shook his head dazed, his head throbbing slightly, but he knew it should hurt a lot more. He glowered as he again struggled to get up, his vision dancing. Yggdrasill watched him silently. Once on his feet, Lloyd glared at the man. _

_All he had to do was take his wings out and be done—but if he did that, it meant he was doing what Yggdrasill wanted him to do, something he swore he wouldn't. _

_He grimaced, clenching his hand, staring at the ground, this head throbbing. He wasn't giving in, he couldn't. But was it really giving in? What did Yggdrasill enjoy more? Beating him or having him follow orders? Lloyd wasn't sure which gave the man more satisfaction, but he knew that Yggdrasill enjoyed both. If he kept resisting, Yggdrasill would keep trying until Lloyd was forced. If Lloyd revealed his wings himself, he could walk out in seconds..._

_Yggdrasill smiled as Lloyd's wings spread out behind him..._

* * *

The memory caused a slight frown to cross Lloyd's face as he stood outside Yggdrasill's chambers, having just finished his report. He pondered why that particular memory had returned, what the significance of it was.

Necessity, perhaps? Reflecting on what was needed to survive, despite how he felt about it. Seeing Yggdrasill as Lloyd gave him the false report, made him feel annoyed at the man, something he hadn't felt for a long time...at least, not since he had found Colette. He couldn't specifically remember the moment where he had finally submitted to the man, when he had stopped being angry, being annoyed. He snorted in amusement. Strange, how little it takes for a mind to change.

His footsteps echoed as he strode down the hallway. He wondered, momentarily, where Kratos was, but settled for just being relieved his father was absent for once. He wasn't sure whether he could put up another facade at the moment.

In fact, Lloyd even had difficulties when speaking with Yggdrasill. He nearly stumbled over which region Colette was in, but Yggdrasill had thankfully excused it. He actually permitted Lloyd to have a day's rest, which both surprised him and made him suspicious. His mind wander involuntarily to Colette, wondering how she was faring, how she was occupying herself, what she was thinking...

Lloyd frowned as he exited the large castle, warping back to the main part of the city. He stepped off the teleport, bypassing the familiar guard without so as much as a glance. Why would he be concerned about Colette's thoughts? They had nothing to do with her well-being and more to do with how she viewed him...

He inhaled deeply. Of course, he should be concerned with her thoughts, he quickly reasoned. She based her actions on her thoughts. If she were thinking of him, it would make her reluctant to leave the area, having the foolish notion that he wouldn't be able to track her down again. By understanding her situation and her reaction towards a threat, it was a necessity to know what she was thinking.

Lloyd slowed, pausing in step and sighed heavily. Perhaps, he was trying too hard to fit everything into logic.

Turning, he looked up at the clouded sky, watching the amethyst colors swirl. She would hate this place, he thought suddenly. This lifeless world, so barren and desolate. She liked the forest, the energy in the air, the annoying sounds that never ended, night or day. He hadn't been able to grow accustom to the noise of the life on Sylvarant again. Everything seemed too loud and he had forgotten how it sounded before. It frustrated him, to some extent, because the silence was the one thing that gave him relief when he returned here and relief wasn't something he longed to feel when on Derris Kharlan.

He folded his arms, his mind wandering over the past week. He couldn't remember when he had last felt so relaxed and tensed at the same time. Being around Colette placed him in a precarious situation, one where he honestly wasn't sure on how to act. Talking to her, watching her, just being near her brought forth some many emotions and feelings that he had reserved over the years and he couldn't help but feel the familiarity of them. Not to mention, feel powerless expressing them to some extent, such as smiling and laughing.

Lloyd smirked even now, just at the thought of Colette's excitement of leading him up the stairs and onto the balcony that first night. He hadn't been able to control that reaction then either. Or smiling at her surprise when she noticed his developed stature, the flush on her cheeks, and the stammer in her voice. It reminded him of how...cute she was.

He heard footsteps, but ignored them, lost in his thoughts. There was one thing he had managed to control to some degree, thus far. His desire to touch her, to hold her near him. He wasn't sure where this feeling came from, or what it signified, if it did at all. However, he had been wary of how it would come suddenly and unexpectedly. This...this longing to feel her skin, to caress her hand, or her cheek. He had done it, once or twice, but it only strengthened the need—the longing, to do it again. To feel her touch...

"Lloyd?" a voice interrupted him and he glanced over to find Yuan staring at him peculiarly.

"Hello, Yuan," he replied distractedly.

Lloyd's hand twitched; the memory of cupping Colette's cheek fresh in his mind, the sensation of her soft, pale skin beneath his fingers...

Yuan raised his eyebrow. "Lost in thought are we?"

Lloyd just stared out at the clouded sky. "Yuan, do you like soft things?"

The question must have caught him off guard because Yuan's reply was extremely hesitant, as if he wasn't sure of what he had heard. "Soft...things?"

Lloyd nodded. "Yes. Like, how they feel against your fingers." He continued to stare, almost oblivious to what he was actually saying, missing Yuan's shocked and incredulous expression. "I never noticed before...how nice it feels."

Yuan's eyes narrowed slightly, calculating Lloyd's unusual behaviour. "What sort of things?

_Colette's skin_ instantly came to his tongue, but realization of what he was saying finally struck Lloyd. He twitched, his eyes widening for the briefest second before he turned to look at Yuan. The half-elf had a suspicious gaze on him, studying his face. Though his mind was panicked, realizing how close he had come to effectively revealing his secret, Lloyd managed to stare at him flatly and respond with the first soft thing that came to mind.

"Bunnies."

"Bunnies...?" Yuan's stated slowly, frowning.

Lloyd nodded. "Their fur, it's soft."

Yuan's eyes narrowed in confusion as he tried to follow Lloyd. "Bunnies," Yuan repeated. Lloyd nodded again. "And where exactly did you encounter said..._bunnies_, which allowed you to feel their..._soft_ fur?"

"On Sylvarant, while searching for the Chosen," Lloyd answered levelly, holding Yuan's eye. "They attacked me and their fur was soft."

Yuan stared at him for a long moment and Lloyd stared back, his mind still panicked, but his expression calm. Yuan opened his mouth, and then closed it before he frowned. "Perhaps you should talk to Kratos about this."

Lloyd shook his head. "No, it is quite alright."

The two continued to stare at one another, a strained silence between them. Yuan shook his head. "Are you sure—Are you alright?"

Lloyd nodded. "Perfectly fine, sorry to worry you, Yuan. Excuse me." He inclined his head and turned around, heading for his quarters.

He felt Yuan's eyes watching him before the half-elf muttered. "Kratos should probably hear this...Damn kid has been locked up too long."

Lloyd frowned, but continued to walk. Only once he was in his room did he move over, place his back on the wall and cover his eyes, muttering. "Bunnies...Unbelievable."

He sighed heavily and looked up, staring at the opposite wall. How could he have become so careless in what he said? It had always been so effortless to disguise his thoughts once he had matured. So why was it so troubling now? It was almost as if he was fascinated—no, not fascination. Concern, perhaps. Even now, despite his earlier mistakes, he still found himself thinking of her. He forced himself to believe it was anxiety that plagued him, though he knew that wasn't the entire truth. He thought about her, not just her well-being. He simply thought about her.

Still leaning on the wall, he closed his eyes. He stayed like that for a moment, before he shoved off and left his room. This was ridiculous.

He warped immediately, not bothering to even head for the transport and he managed to return to the same spot, relatively, as he had before. He flinched at the clamorous sounds that accompanied dusk; crickets and insects chirping, frogs croaking and the occasional indiscernible creature crying out. However, it distracted him for barely a minute as he was already entering the forest, brushing the offending branches out of his path, his swords clinking in rhythm to his long stride. The darkness of the woods didn't even slow him, his eyesight adjusting almost instantly.

As he walked, his thoughts had already organized what he was going to tell her, his emotions calmed and his mind at ease. It wouldn't be easy, but she would understand. It was simple, logical and he knew it was for the best.

By the time he reached the little wooden bridge, Lloyd approached the house with the same attitude he had when he first found Colette. Indifferent and apathetic. He knew what her reaction would be and he knew that he would not change his mind. He wouldn't allow it to happen. He couldn't allow it.

The lower first floor was dark, but a golden yellow glow slipped beneath the door of his old room. The light reflected off the reconstructed balcony as he walked towards it quietly. The light suddenly went out just as he reached the base and he falter for a moment, but then jumped up by grabbing the balcony and lifted himself up, climbing over the rail without making even the slightest sound. He straightened, listening quietly and but he couldn't hear anything, so he stepped towards the door.

Lloyd couldn't be sure if Colette was still awake before he had even opened the door or not, but as it swung open, he saw her turn, standing near the bed. Her eyes widened and shone from an ambiguous source of light from outside. "Lloyd?"

He didn't answer. Her hair was in waves—remnants of her braid—and she was once again dressed in his old clothes. The black shirt hung on her, her pale skin glowing milky smooth against it. Her borrowed pants were rolled up at the ankles, revealing her delicate bare feet.

Lloyd's fingers curled at his side.

Colette looked around and then back at him, confusion replacing the shock. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"No." Lloyd found his voice, his eyes fixating on hers. Why was she smiling like that?

Colette brushed hair behind her ear. "Oh. That's good. So did you forget something?"

"No."

"Then why did you—?"

"I've returned to inform you that I won't be visiting you anymore." He interrupted her, his face blank and voice flat.

Her reaction was exactly as he predicted. She stared at him, confused before her eyes widened slowly, eyebrows arcing to match with her expression. Her mouth opened slightly, her one hand lifting to her chin. He saw her struggling to understand his words, her eyes searching his face for some type of evidence to say he was lying. And the pain that filled them as she realized there was none, how her slight body trembled. He knew it would happen. He had foreseen it.

Then why did it still hurt him so much?

"No."

Her single word argument caught him off guard. He had been expecting her to beg for an explanation, not outright oppose him.

His own surprise allowed her an opening and she stepped forward, hands clenched at her sides. "Don't even say that. You don't even mean it, so don't say it."

Lloyd frowned, recovering and annoyed at her inaccurate assumptions. "I am serious, Colette. I'm not coming back anymore."

Colette stamped her foot angrily. "You're lying!"

Lloyd stepped forward, his expression a scowl, all thoughts on being civil gone. "Do you even know how difficult it is to keep pretending? Do you know how close I came to foiling everything? To betraying your location?"

She swallowed, but didn't back down. "I don't care!"

"Well I do!" Lloyd snarled.

Colette flinched and stepped back. Guilt washed over him as he realized he had frightened her and he turned away. "They can't know, Colette. They will find you."

"They will find me anyway," Colette retorted back. Her voice cracked and he looked to find her expression angered. "I'm not running anymore. We can't stop Cruxis anymore. We tried and it didn't work. What's the point? If you go back I am going with you."

Lloyd froze before he glared at her. "Absolutely not."

Colette glared back at him. "I can do whatever I want!"

"I won't allow it."

"How will you stop me?"

"Colette, stop this foolishness. Don't you understand? I am trying to protect you."

"I don't want your protection then." She crossed her arms, her eyes blazing.

"Why are you making this so difficult?" Lloyd growled, massaging his forehead.

Colette uncrossed her arms and pointed at him. "Because I know you don't want to do this! You stand there and think you can tell me it doesn't matter, that it doesn't bother you? You are lying because you think it is what you have to do!"

Lloyd blinked, frustrated at how vibrant she appeared, even in the dark. How her anger flushed her cheeks, her eyes sparking with her frustration and fury. He had never seen her so determined, so resolute in her defence. He was conscious that his heartbeat increased, watching as she so defiantly stood up to him. How she refused to back down and how he admired her for it—

He shook his head quickly and scowled. "Colette, that's—"

"I won't let you! You hear me, Lloyd? You told me never to sacrifice myself for others and I won't let you do that to yourself! I won't!" she was nearly shouting and Lloyd narrowed his eyes, but she ignored it. "If you want me to stay here, you stay too."

Lloyd stared at her, his hand twitching. "Colette—"

Colette glared at him. "For once, will you just do what you want to do? What I want? You can stop pretending, you can—"

"Colette—" he tried again, getting annoyed.

"They don't control you, Lloyd. You don't have to be there, you can—"

Lloyd never let her finished. In one stride, he abandoned the doorway and stood before her. His large hands grabbed her thin upper arms. His fingers gripped them firmly and he bent down, cutting off her words as he kissed her roughly. The touch of her lips on his sent a shiver through his body. He felt her muscles relax beneath his touch. He pulled back, still gripping her arms and opened his eyes. His expression was empty, but his eyes intense as he stared at her. He was panting a little, his heart racing, his mind blank.

Colette's eyes opened slowly, having closed them a second after their lips had touched. She returned his stare, her mouth still opened slightly. One hand reached up to touch her lips and Lloyd instantly released her, stepping back. "Forgive me—"

He stopped as Colette grabbed his hand, still staring at him. He froze and her hand reached up cupping his cheek as she pulled him towards her. Their lips brushing again and he shivered involuntarily. She pulled back slightly, her head turned down, her eyes closed. Again, he reached, brushing his hand over her cheek, his fingers sliding her blonde hair back as he searched her face.

She shivered and looked up at him.

"It's cold," she murmured. He blinked and then slowly moved away from her and towards the door. His hand grabbed the weathered wood, hesitating for a moment, before he shut it with a soft tap. Standing, his hand on the door he frowned and then turned back towards her. She hadn't moved.

There were tears on her face, glittering from the moonlight coming in from the window and he moved to stand beside her again. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head, trembling and Lloyd frowned. Cupping her chin with one hand, lifting it so she stared at him, then he leaned down and kissed her again, tasting the salt from her tears. He felt, the warmth of her lips, the quick intake of breath and the tremble coursing through her...

He barely noticed as they moved towards the bed. His eyes remained closed, her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands found her waist. Lloyd felt the bed touch his legs and he sat.

They pulled apart.

She was standing before him. Both breathed heavily as her hands slid from around his neck and down to his shoulders. Her eyes found his and she leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his, eyes closing once more. "Please, don't leave. Please," she whispered, her voice shaking.

He held her close to him, lying down on the bed as he moved his head to the side, his cheek brushing against hers, his mouth next to her ear. "I won't."

Lloyd shivered as she found his lips again.

**Please Review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Listening to **Here by Rascal Flatts.

**I apologize in advance for grammar mistakes. I was rather quick in editing this and have bit of a headache. Anyway thanks for the awesome reviews everyone! Hope you enjoy. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter: 8**

Realization came slow to Colette as dawn broke and a faint, gray light filtered in through the window and passed across her closed eyelids. She shivered, feeling the chill air touching her skin as something pulled away from her, leaving her back exposed. She heard a couple footsteps and then felt the bed shift further down. Her eyelashes fluttered as she began to awake.

She stretched and her foot slid out from beneath blanket and she jerked it back under quickly as the cool air nipped at it. She shivered again, her back still exposed and she turned, pulling the blanket around her more. Her eyelids slid up slightly and the first thing she saw was a Lloyd's bareback, sitting on the edge of the bed with his hair dishevelled. She blinked in confusion. Why was he—?

Her eyes widened as she recalled what had occurred the night before. Remembering his lips on hers, his warm hands holding her close, fingers sliding down the sleeves of—

She jerked up right, clutching the blanket as she stared at him in disbelief. Trembling as the cool morning air caressed her bare shoulders, she flushed and pulled the blanket around her tighter.

Lloyd's eyes shifted, barely noticeable. He made no other movement as she stared at him.

"Did—?"

"Yes." His voice was soft and pained. She then noticed the expression on his face, the guilt and self-blame.

"Oh! What have I done...?" she covered her hand with one hand.

"Forgive me, Colette. Please, Forgive me," he whispered.

She stared at him wide-eyed, taking in his bare back. "Lloyd...?"

He buried his face into his hands, shaking his head. "I shouldn't have done this to you. I should have stopped myself, I should've—"

"Stop it." Colette cut him off and he fell silent. She stared at him, still trying to wrap her mind around what happened. "It was both of us, alright? Don't blame yourself," she said it, yet her voice shook and he still wouldn't look at her.

Her eyes cast about and she saw her clothing on the floor, along with his. Lloyd had slipped into his boxers earlier she guessed. She curled her legs beneath her and reached for his shoulder. "Look at me."

He didn't.

Colette bit her lip and turned him slightly. "Lloyd, look at—"

He pulled away from her, standing and her hand fell back onto the bed. "This shouldn't have happened. I came here to protect you and now I have only caused you more confusion." He clenched his fists as he walked towards the window. Colette clutched the blanket, staring at him. The muscles on his back were knotted and tense. Even his arms quivered as he struggled to contain his self-loathing. Colette couldn't find anything to say.

Memories slipped through her consciousness as she watched Lloyd silently, his hair blocking his face. She could still feel his breath on her neck and the heat from his body. She shivered and slid her feet out, letting them touch the chilled floorboards. "Lloyd, don't be angry."

Lloyd visibly tensed even more and his head turn just enough that she could see his mouth. "Don't try to console me, Colette." He hissed it through clenched teeth and she flinched. "It's not something you should for—"

"Stop it!" Colette shook her head, stunned and alarmed. "Don't you dare start talking as if this is your fault!"

Lloyd turned, his expression dead, but his eyes filled with anger. It frightened her because she knew he was only angry with himself. He locked eyes with her. "It is my fault. I came here and lost control."

Colette clenched the blankets. "I kissed you back. I didn't pull away—"

"You shouldn't have to. I knew how susceptible to influence you were. You are more naive and vulnerable than I and—"

"I am not vulnerable, Lloyd Aurion!" Colette cut him off sharply, her face flushed and he frowned and made to reply, but she interrupted again. "If anyone is naive and vulnerable, it's you!"

"Me?" he looked at her in confusion.

"Yes," she stated, her mouth tight. "You think you are the only one that is control, the only one that has responsibility." Lloyd's eyes hardened and he turned his head away, but she didn't stop. "I survived without you for seven years. You weren't there to tell me right from wrong."

"It doesn't change the fact that I..." he trailed over his head turning slightly to the window, frowning.

Colette clenched her fists, trembling unconsciously from the cool air still. "Stop trying to blame yourself—Lloyd, don't turn away—"

"Quiet," he snapped.

Colette closed her mouth quickly as he stared out the window. "What is it?" she asked a moment later, when he hadn't moved.

He didn't respond right away and Colette was about to get off the bed when he slammed his hand on the window frame and spun around, swearing. "It's that blasted woman." He grabbed his pants, hastily pulling them on.

"Who?" Colette stared wide-eyed at him. "Do you mean—?"

"It's Raine," he snapped, searching for his shirt. "Why would you tell her you were here?"

"I didn't!" Colette shook her head, wrapping the blanket around her better as she leaned over, grabbing for her clothes as well, when suddenly, they both froze, hearing the door open and close downstairs.

Lloyd hissed, "Didn't even bother to knock!" He straightened, clutching half of his clothes and moved towards the balcony.

"Lloyd—" Colette whispered desperately and he hesitated for a moment, looking back at her and then towards the sounds of footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Colette?" Raine's voice called.

Lloyd snarled and slipped out onto the balcony, Colette reaching out. "Wait—" her eyes snapped towards the stairs just as the other door opened and Raine stepped into the room.

"Colette?" Raine asked again as she appeared around the corner. Raine smiled lightly as she spotted Colette. "I thought you might be..." her sentence trailed off as she took in the scene and Colette's eyes widened drastically.

"R-Raine!" she clutched the blankets, twisting to face the elder woman. "What are you doing here?"

Hardened eyes scanned the room, pausing on the assortment of clothes and boots on the floor. Colette stared at her old teacher anxiously. Raine knew what had happened. Colette could tell she knew from the blank expression and the way Raine's searched the room for the unknown man. Still she made no comment on it, instead turned her eyes onto Colette, answering her question. "There were rumours of someone living here, that Dirk might have returned, though I figured it was you. I came to see for myself."

Colette bit her lip and turned her eyes down. "Oh..."

Raine narrowed her eyes and then turned back towards the door. "I'll wait for you downstairs." She paused once, eyes fastening on the balcony door before she disappeared down the stairs.

Colette's eyes stared at the empty space before she scrambled off the bed and rushed towards the balcony door, nearly tripping on the blanket she pulled with her.

The door opened before she reached it and Lloyd entered, his expression irritated and he glanced around the room tensely. "What the hell is she doing here?" he hissed, his voice barely audible.

Colette backed up, shaking her head. "She said she—"

"I heard what she said," he snapped and then sighed heavily, closing his eyes. "Forgive me." Colette didn't respond and he opened his eyes slowly, looking her over. "Get dressed."

She didn't move as he brushed past her, gathering the remnants of his clothes, rather she glanced over at the desk. Propped up against the desk where his twin blades in their sheaths. Lloyd, preoccupied with dressing himself, didn't notice Colette walk over and grab the swords. She felt awkward, still wrapped in the worn blanket that draped onto the floor behind her as she turned to face Lloyd, but she wasn't going to let him leave.

It was a few minutes before Lloyd glanced up and caught her eye. He frowned slightly in confusion until his eyes flickered to his confiscated weapons in her hands. Annoyance passed across his features as he stood. "My swords, if you would." Lloyd held out his hand, but Colette just narrowed her eyes. "Colette—"

"I'm holding on to these until we talk this over."

"Don't be ridiculous, hand them over—" he whispered irritably.

"No!" she shifted them so they were behind his back.

Lloyd sighed, "Don't you think Raine will be a little suspicious if you carry two swords down with you?" Colette bit her lip, but didn't say anything. Lloyd rubbed his neck, then paused. "Is my word that I will return not enough this time?"

Colette turned her eyes to the side. "I'm afraid you will convince yourself not to." She hated that she was being so mistrusting, but the idea that Lloyd regretted what happened between them frightened her. He hated and blamed himself and it wasn't right. She was scared he wouldn't willingly come back to face her.

"Here. This will be less conspicuous and you can trust that I will desire it back." Her eyes snapped up to find him holding a simple metal locket in his hand. It was oval shaped and appeared absurdly small in his large, cupped palm. Colette slowly brought the swords forward, letting him take them. For a moment, she wondered if he would keep the locket as well, but he kept his hand extended.

Gingerly, she picked up the locket, staring at it strangely and Lloyd lowered his arm. "I trust you will keep it safe." His words were mocking, but sincere and she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry, I just—"

"Colette, I have done nothing to earn whatever trust you do have in me. I don't expect you to rely on my word as you have been." Lloyd buckled his swords on, avoiding her gaze and then turned heading for the door. "I'll be within the trees until she leaves."

"Lloyd..." she started, closing her fingers around the locket.

He paused, glanced at her, eyes moving up then down. "Better get dressed, she's waiting."

Then he was gone.

Colette stared at the closed door a moment longer before Lloyd's words sunk in and she quickly spun around, stumbling towards her clothes. She immediately placed the locket around her neck; the oval clasp hung—fortunately—low on her chest and easily covered by one of Lloyd's baggy undershirts. Swiftly pulling on a pair of his old pants, as well, Colette's bare feet slapped against the wood floor as she hurried to the stairs. Her hair hung dishevelled about her shoulders, trailing down her back and she distractedly combed her fingers through the mess as she descended the stairs.

She froze on the last step as Raine's held lifted and their eyes locked. The elder woman said nothing and Colette bit her lip, abandoning her tangled hair. "Sorry, I took so long. I—"

"Where is he?" Raine's calm voice easily interrupted her anxious tone. The half-elf's eyes turned up, to study the stairs and then returned to Colette.

"W-who? I don't know—"

"Do you honestly believe I don't understand what occurred up there, Colette?" Raine's voice hardened a bit and Colette flinched, realizing how childish of a response she was attempting to give. Raine waited silently.

Colette tugged at the shirt, straightening it. "He's gone."

Raine studied her sceptically and Colette knew she didn't buy the answer. However, Raine left it alone to Colette's surprise. Instead, put forth another question. "Anyone I would know?"

There was hesitation. After everything she had gone through Colette found it extremely difficult to outright lie to her friends. The Journey of Regeneration had broken that wall she had built to protect her friends from the horrible truths and secrets she had kept and Lloyd had also made her realize how keeping such secrets could hurt her friends even more than the truth. If she had to, she still managed to dance around responding to questions accurately, especially if the question was vague. However, the way Raine stared at her, already calculating her own theories and assumptions, it made it difficult to say it wasn't Lloyd.

Every part of her want to confess to Raine and tell her old teacher Lloyd was back, but at the same time, she found herself considering how Lloyd would appear to the older woman. Colette knew deep down, Lloyd was the same teenage boy that grew up with them, but Raine wouldn't see him that way. She would see him as a stranger and most definitely a threatening enemy if she discovered he was with Cruxis. Colette turned her eyes to Raine, her unease gone, and she answered. "No. You wouldn't know him. I met him on my way to Iselia."

Raine said nothing for a moment, though her face betrayed her doubts and, more clearly, her concerns. When she finally did speak, Colette heard the familiar tone Raine often used when talking to children. "Colette, I realize now that you are an adult and the choices you make are yours," she paused momentarily, her brow creased as she searched for words. "And I know how...difficult it is to accept Lloyd's disappearance; however, there are different ways you can deal with your feelings—"

"Raine!" Colette flushed deeply, frustrated embarrassment heating her face. "I know what I am doing and it doesn't have anything to do with missing Lloyd." She turned her gaze down, stuttering on her attempt to lie. "I-I have moved on and—"

"Really?" Raine raised her eyebrows sceptically, looking her over. "I am not sure that you have, Colette."

Colette flushed even deeper and turned away from the older woman, walking over to the counter towards the window. "I-I have... This is personal, Raine. I'm not comfortable with you asking me about it."

"All right. I'm sorry." Raine's voice softened and Colette heard her sigh. "I just worry about you, being on your own. I was more at ease when you travelled with us."

Colette gripped the counter, looking out the window. She searched among the tree trunks for any indication Lloyd was there, but found nothing. She turned slowly, head down. "I know, but it is more dangerous and easier for the Desians to find me when I do." She looked up, smiling weakly. "I'm fine on my own."

Raine stared at her, before pushing her chair back, rising. She walked over and embraced Colette gently. "I know. Genis says the same thing too." Her gaze grew distant as she pulled back, looking at Colette. "It's just hard to remember that you aren't children anymore.

Colette smiled, but wasn't sure what to say. Raine backed up, glancing around the house sadly. Colette wondered what her old teacher was thinking about. Was she thinking about Lloyd?

"I suppose I should head back. Genis and Presea arrived in Iselia the other day with Noishe. They were disappointed to hear you had already left, but perhaps they could stop in tomorrow for a brief visit?"

Colette's eyes lit up and nodded quickly. "Of course. It will be nice to see them again." Raine seemed to relax at her reaction, which confused Colette a little. Perhaps she thought Colette was changing too much.

"Are you going to be around for long?" Raine asked, moving back towards the door, looking over her shoulder at her. Colette nodded and Raine looked thoughtful. "Perhaps I can bring you supplies, since you seem to want to avoid the town."

Colette hesitated, just smiling and Raine seemed to take that as a yes and opened the door. Truthfully, Colette was anxious about having the Sages visiting that often, but at the same time, she was actually looked forward to it. There was only one problem...

Raine stepped outside and Colette followed her to the door, her anxieties resurfacing as Raine paused and glanced up at the balcony. Colette bit her lip and looked towards the forest. Raine must have noticed because she slowly turned her head as well, frowning. She kept her eyes on the forest for a long time, before she turned back to Colette. "Just be careful alright. You never know who you can trust."

Colette smiled and nodded, not trusting her voice, the locket weighing heavily against her chest. Raine smiled back and made her way over the little wooden bridge, seemingly reassured she had advised Colette to be more cautious. The instant the half-elf woman vanished from sight, Colette whirled around and rushed back into the house.

* * *

The thumping of feet on the stairs filled his ears and he felt the vibrations through his feet. Lloyd slowly opened his eyes as Colette burst into the room, her usually soft complexion flushed and blue eyes wide. The instant she spotted him in the corner of the room she froze. Frowning, Lloyd moved from the wall, stepping towards her. "Colette, I—"

He barely let the words out before she hastened across the rooms and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. She was crying and despite Lloyd's complete confusion, he didn't question her. Guilt settled over Lloyd as he gently wrapped his arms around her, feeling it might comfort her—and himself—in some small degree. She was confused, emotionally and mentally. It was the least he could do.

After a few minutes, Lloyd felt her tremble and he pulled himself from her, looking down. "Did that help?" he asked quietly. She nodded, though she seemed hesitant to move away from him. He did anyway. He needed to think and having her stand so close to him—Lloyd's nerves tingled, aching for the warmth they siphoned from her touch. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I shouldn't have allowed you to speak with her alone. It must have been uncomfortable for you."

Colette wiped her eyes, shakily. "You couldn't let her see you. It's alright—"

"No, it's not." Lloyd frowned, clenching his hand. "It is just my selfish desire to avoid explaining myself to them." _And fear_, he thought to himself. Lloyd knew how they would look at him; scrutinize him for what he was now. Even if they didn't intend to, they would.

"I wanted to tell her so badly." Lloyd looked at her and she smiled. "But I didn't."

"I heard." He watched as her eyes widened, blushing furiously and he looked away. "Do you feel alone, Colette?"

She hesitated, and Lloyd knew the question hadn't surprised her. However, her response did surprise him. "Not anymore."

He still didn't look at her, but scowled. "Because I am here, correct?"

"Why are you angry?" she reached up and turned his face. "I am happy you are back, why aren't you?"

"I am not back, Colette." He grabbed her wrist and removed her hand. "I explained that to you. I shouldn't be around you. When I am, I hurt you."

"No, you don't!" she shook her head viciously, but he grabbed her shoulders.

"I hurt you when I leave, though you pretend I don't. I see it in your eyes and it haunts me. I want—I need to know you are happy, that's why I come back. I know I shouldn't, I tell myself I shouldn't, that if I do, I will only hurt you more. But here I am." He searched her eyes desperately, trying to find understanding in them. "I came back and everything went wrong. I promised to protect you and instead I...I went too far. I let my emotions control me, my frustrations and now I can't take back what happened because of it."

Colette just stared at him and he let go, moving away from her and holding his head.

"Do you regret it?" Her question was so soft that Lloyd barely heard her. He froze his back to her as she repeated it. "Is that why you are so angry? Why you want me to be angry? Because you regret what happened?"

He couldn't find his voice.

Colette's tone hardened. "Well I don't. I don't regret any of it, even if you do!"

"I don't," Lloyd said quietly. He stared blankly at the floor. "I can't regret it because it would mean that I don't care for you." He heard her move and continued. "I regret many decisions, Colette. I regret giving into Cruxis, not having the strength, the willpower to resist this corruption..." he paused and looked up to find her watching him. "But I could never regret last night. Never."

"Then why are you so angry?" Colette frowned in confusion.

Lloyd held back, frustration filling his face. He wasn't angry—at least not about that. She didn't understand, knowing what he did was wrong and yet, feeling as if it was right. Lloyd felt as if his mind was being torn apart between logic and emotion. He relished every minute of being with her, even now, he did. There was no regret in his mind at all and that is what made him angry. Shouldn't he feel regret? It was impossible for them to be together, he knew that. He was a Cruxian now, nothing else; yet, at that one moment, it felt as if he wasn't. That just being with Colette was enough and nothing more was needed. His emotions made everything so simple and Lloyd knew it wasn't. But how was he to explain that to her? How could he explain that what happened was a mistake, when he didn't believe it was? Was it even a mistake then?

She waited for his answer, as she always did. He found himself exhaling heavily before shaking his head. "I am not angry."

Colette held his gaze for a moment and then nodded, accepting it. Lloyd turned his eyes to the window. Was it possible that she did understand, or was she just accepting his simple answer because she believed it was all he would give? He wasn't certain, but he wouldn't press the conversation if she didn't.

"You are leaving then." Colette shifted her weight to one leg, wrapping her arms about her.

He didn't look at her, but her statement made him frown. She said it with a certainty that sounded peculiar coming from her. She was still upset, he reasoned, and despite knowing this, he said it anyway. "I have to."

His eyes closed as his mind struggled with itself again, about what he really believed. "You said you wouldn't leave." Colette's voice sounded bitter and he looked at her impassively. He could tell she was struggling as well, trying to understand why he did need to leave and not wanting him to.

"I don't want to." Lloyd offered, allowing a part of his real thoughts to slip out, hoping it would reassure her, if only slightly.

It did.

Her expression softened and she stepped towards him, grabbing his arm. "It's not fair. Why—?"

"Your...other visitors will most likely appear later today and my presence here, even if unseen, would make you uncomfortable. Not to mention, I left rather unexpectedly from Derris Kharlan yesterday and my presence will be missed there." Lloyd removed her hand from his arm, holding it for a brief moment before releasing it. Colette bowed her head and he looked down at her sadly. "You will not miss me when your company arrives."

"Yes, I will. But I understand," she murmured. She lifted her head, looking to the side. "You are coming back, right? You didn't mean what you said yesterday, about staying away to protect me, right?"

"I meant it," Lloyd answered and her head snapped towards him, but he cut off any reply. "But, I will come back." He looked down at her neck. "If you would feel more reassured, you can keep the locket until I do."

Her eyes widened and she reached up, clutching the locket through the shirt. "You'll really—"

"I will." He reached up, caressing her cheek, his fingers tingling as he did and he smiled weakly. "It's the least I can do."

She hesitated, then lifted the locket from her neck and placed it in his hand, smiling. "I trust you."

His eyes widen for a moment, but he closed his hand around the locket tightly and then replaced it around his own neck, looking down at her gratefully.

She embraced him, tightly and this time he didn't push her back. He held her until she released him and then he turned from her, leaving through the balcony door. He felt her eyes on him, but he didn't allow himself to turn around. Dropping off the balcony, he walked into the forest, his wings taking form behind, the mana like water trickling down his back and out to create the massive wingspan. They folded as he gathered the mana within him and warped out of the clearing.

Derris Kharlan materialized before his eyes, the familiar buildings and structures that welcomed him back, the familiar angel guard that addressed him as he strode past him. Lloyd walked quickly, heading directly to his quarters. He reached them without interruption and he sighed in relief. He slowly undressed as he walked to the simple shower installed at the back of the room. Folding his clothes neatly on the bed, he entered the shower and turned the water on without regarding the temperature. The chilled water instantly caused him to shiver, but he simply closed his eyes, letting the moisture travel over his skin, washing off the dried sweat from the previous night.

Knotted muscles trembled beneath his skin as they loosened, the tension slipping from his body as if the water washed it away. He stared unseeing at the plain, white wall as water droplets dripped from his lashes. He sighed, bowing his head as the water gradually warmed and he breathed in the steamed, moist air. After a few minutes, he tilted his head back again, the water falling into his hair, the strands bending beneath the new weight as they absorbed it. Eyes closed, Lloyd slowly brushed the hair back with his hands, allowing his mind to wander.

Perhaps he had overreacted this morning. Colette had openly stated she held no resentment for what had happened and that she didn't regret it either. Lloyd had assumed she would, and so, had immediately applied full responsibility on himself.

He opened his eyes, blinked repeatedly as the water trickled over them. Of course, he had to consider the consequences of where it would lead. Was it going to affect the relationship they had rebuilt? Lloyd knew it would, but to what degree he wasn't certain. He didn't know what the exchange meant to Colette...he barely understood what it meant to himself.

His head swam and he held a hand to it, steadying himself with the wall. Steam rose like clouds around him and he realized the water temperature had risen significantly, making him light headed. Adjusting the temperature, Lloyd decided to push the questions from his mind for the time being. It was something that he would need to discuss with Colette, herself. He would try to avoid over speculating again.

Content with his decision, Lloyd quickly washed his hair and body, rinsing the soap off before turning off the water. His skin glistened as the water ran in rivulets over his muscles, tracing his shape. He wrapped the towel that had been hanging over the shower door, about his waist. Using a second one, he dried himself and his hair quickly; aware he had most likely spent too much time in the shower. If Yggdrasill weren't already looking for him, his father would be.

He reached for his uniform before stopping. Barely detectable, but there nonetheless, Colette's welcoming scent lingered, mixed with the smell of trees and plants. Lloyd stared at his clothing, undecidedly before pulling it on. It was even more noticeable as he did, but he figured it was only because he knew of its source. Should anyone else smell it, they would pass it off as vegetation only.

Once dressed, he left his room, deciding to locate his father rather than immediately approach Yggdrasill. It was possible Lloyd's sudden disappearance had gone unnoticed—

"There you are." Yuan's voice interrupted his train of thought and Lloyd glanced over, surprised he missed seeing the half-elf. Yuan seemed to notice his distraction as well and approached him. "Being on Sylvarant has a surprisingly negative effect on you, Lloyd. You are becoming careless."

Lloyd collected himself, giving the man a disinterested look. "The worlds are much more dangerous. I suppose Derris Kharlan allows me to relax a little more than I use to."

Yuan nodded, stopping in front of him. "Speaking of Sylvarant, Yggdrasill was not impressed you left so...unexpectedly last night. He was concerned and highly interested in what caused such a reaction from you."

Lloyd grimaced inwardly, any inkling of escaping the situation now gone. He searched for a response, found himself oddly unprepared. Meanwhile, Yuan was frowning, looking him over intently. Lloyd quickly formed a reply. "I suppose my father and yourself are as well."

Still frowning, Yuan narrowed his eyes on him. "Yes, considering that you usually confide in your father..." he trailed off and Lloyd waited, confused as Yuan looked up at him. "Did you shower?"

"Yes. Is there a problem with that?" Lloyd asked confused. "I have been travelling a great deal lately."

"Yes...I suppose." Yuan answered slowly. "I expect whatever you encountered last night called for a shower immediately on your return."

Lloyd struggled to remain passive. "It did. I wished to be presentable when I returned to give my report to Lord Yggdrasill."

Raising an eyebrow, Yuan studied him for a moment before closing his eyes with a small smirk. "Another encounter with 'bunnies' perhaps?"

Lloyd scowled at the sarcasm and suggestion in Yuan's voice, quickly locking himself up before he allowed his panic to reveal itself. "What are you suggesting—?"

"Don't play ignorant with me, Lloyd. Your actions from the past few days are more than enough to piece together what you are attempting to hide." Lloyd stared at him blankly, unable to conjure a retort that Yuan wouldn't just pass off as denial. Yuan decided to press. "You've found a woman."

Lloyd knew that anything he said to the half-elf would most likely justify Yuan's theory just as much as his silence would. However, in silence, Yuan could only just theorize.

Yuan shook his head, smiling in amusement. "Unbelievable. To think you would follow your father's footsteps so closely is amusing." Lloyd tensed, glaring at the man, but Yuan ignored it. "The only difference is that you are returning, which would suggest two things." Yuan lazily extended one finger. "One, you are simply experimenting, which is understandable considering the amount of time you have been locked up here." Lloyd flinched and Yuan smirked. "And two, you have found a girl, but don't want to risk her having the same fate of your mother."

"You cross a line, Yuan," Lloyd hissed, stepping threateningly towards the half-elf.

Yuan narrowed his eyes. "Does your father know?"

"Despite what you may think, I don't confide everything to my father," Lloyd answered tersely. "If you will excuse me, I need to make a report."

"On what exactly? Have you managed to conjure up some excuse other than the truth?" Yuan was not bothering to hide his amusement and Lloyd glared at him.

"If you must know, I recalled something about the Chosen's trail that I missed upon my return. I left to check it out and may have discovered where she might be heading."

Yuan's expression faltered and Lloyd turned his back on him. As he did, he inwardly cursed the half-elf for prying as he made his way to Yggdrasill's throne room.

However, Yggdrasill was just as relentless, if not more. The angel's expression was dangerous the moment Lloyd entered the room. Regardless, Lloyd strode forward undeterred, lowered himself to one knee and bowed his head. "Lord Yggdrasill—"

"Silence!" Yggdrasill hissed and Lloyd closed his mouth. "Humility and formalities aren't going to excuse you this time, Lloyd Aurion."

Lloyd clenched his teeth, keeping his head bowed as Yggdrasill approached him. "I apologize, my Lord."

"Get up!" Yggdrasill demanded. As Lloyd rose, Yggdrasill instantly back-handed him across the face, the action efficiently causing Lloyd to lose balance and stumble to the side. A dull sting exploded from his cheek, but he didn't raise his hand to touch it. Instead, he lifted his eyes to meet Yggdrasill's angry gaze. "Where did you go?"

Lloyd straightened, lowering his head respectively. "I realized something important about my search for the Chosen." He paused, but Yggdrasill remained silent, so he continued. The information he decided to disclose was dangerous and even to consider revealing the information to Yggdrasill made Lloyd hesitate. However, Lloyd was walking a thin line between Yuan's suspicion and Yggdrasill's innate distrust for Lloyd and he needed to regain that trust. Eventually something would slip and the end result would be inevitable. He looked at Yggdrasill directly. "I believe she will attempt to board a ship at Palmacosta."

Yggdrasill frowned. "How do you know this? You said she was in the Asgard region."

Lloyd nodded. "She was, but it's possible the trail I found was cold already. The reason I left last night was to head for Palmacosta as the idea had crossed my mind. I did not find her in the city, but I spoke to the sailors and someone had been inquiring about a boat, though they refused to say whom." Lloyd bowed slightly. "Forgive me for leaving so suddenly, I was eager to discover whether or not my theory was correct."

"Well done, Lloyd." Yggdrasill nodded appraisingly, but his expression was still dark. "But this is the perfect moment to remind you. You swore loyalty to me and though I allow you freedom during this mission, your freedom is strictly contained to this mission. I will overlook this recklessness once, but if it occurs again, I'm sending Pronyma to watch you. Understood?"

"Yes, my Lord," Lloyd replied, masking his anger.

Yggdrasill studied him for a moment then spoke. "Tomorrow I want you to watch Palmacosta city. I'm sending Kratos with you." Lloyd stiffened, but remained silent. "If the Chosen attempts to enter the city, it will be easier if he is with you as well."

Lloyd hesitated. "What if she doesn't appear, my Lord? Will he continue to accompany me?"

"No. It's more that he wishes to spend some time with you. It's just for tomorrow."

"Very well." Lloyd nodded. Yggdrasill dismissed him and Lloyd left. The instant he exited the room, he clenched his fists in aggravation.

"Didn't go as well as you planned?" Yuan spoke, leaning on the wall. Lloyd scowled at him and walked away, but the half-elf followed. "I find it curious that you would know so much about the Chosen's location, yet can't manage to detain her. Yggdrasill is surprisingly patient with you."

Lloyd didn't bother to look at him as he answered. "At least I manage to locate her. Considering how long you have been hunting the Renegades, I say Yggdrasill's patience is understandable."

Yuan chuckled. "I suppose that is true." He paused for a moment. "I made an offer to you once, a long time ago, if you would be interested in—"

Lloyd stopped and faced Yuan directly. "I'm not playing your games Yuan. My role in your little schemes wouldn't be what you say it will be," he hissed, momentarily losing his composure. "I am willing to keep your secret simply because revealing it to Yggdrasill doesn't benefit me. Just because I am forced to comply with him, doesn't mean I will go out of my way to aid him."

Yuan shrugged and moved away. "The offer is always open if you change your mind." He stopped for a moment and looked over his shoulder smirking. "Oh, and Kratos would like a word with you. He's probably waiting in your room."

Lloyd clenched his teeth as the half-elf disappeared, then Lloyd sighed frustrated and headed for his rooms, knowing full well that Yuan had decided to share his theories with Lloyd's father. This was going to be embarrassing.

**Please Review. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Listening to **Father's Love by Bucky Covington. **Doesn't exactly fit the chapter, but sort of suits the father/son relationship theme. On a side note: first real snow fall for my city, thus begins my Canadian winter. Joy.  
Once again a big thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting. It's great encouragement, and really appreciated. Hope you enjoy this next chapter. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 9:**

True to Lloyd's prediction, later that evening, Genis and Presea crossed the little wooden bridge, their faces shadowed by the sun's descent, but Colette could easily see Genis' excitement. Even Presea was smiling as the older girl hurried over to embrace Colette. It had been nearly a year since Colette had seen the pair and that visit had been shortened by a Desian attack.

"Long time no see, Colette." Genis hugged her tightly, pulling back with smile plastered across his face. Looking at her friends, Colette wondered if Lloyd would even recognize Genis and Presea. At nineteen, Genis had drastically from the short twelve-year old. At fifteen, Genis had been caught by a growth spurt and was barely an inch taller than Colette was. Now, four years later, it seemed he hadn't stopped growing and Colette found her head tilting back slightly to smile back at him. His face had started to slim out, giving him more of an attractive appeal, but the boyish features still lingered on his face as well. Unfortunately, though, he hadn't filled out a whole lot. He was all limbs and scrawnier than Lloyd had been at seventeen. His hair was tied back in a low, messy ponytail and he wore simple slacks and short-sleeved jacket over a simple black shirt. His clothes did nothing to help with his lanky figure, but it didn't seem to bother him.

"It so good to see you again, Genis." She smiled, reaching up she touched his head. "You're still growing!"

He laughed, the deeper tone matching his growing up appearance. "I told you all I would."

Colette smiled warmly, turning to Presea. "How are you doing?"

"I'm alright, thank you." The older girl replied. Similarly, Presea was growing just as much as Genis. She was roughly Colette's height now and would probably stay at that height, yet her appearance was much younger and still developing. Presea's past was still a mystery to Colette. After the group was forced to split ways, Presea had returned to Sylvarant with Genis, Raine and Colette. When they had returned to Dirk's to tell him what happened to Lloyd, the dwarf noticed Presea's strange state and later discovered her unique key crest. In the end, the dwarf created her a new one. Once Presea woke from her state, the shock of what happened overwhelmed her and she begged to return home. They hadn't a chance to go back to Tethe'alla since.

Colette noticed Presea watching her, bringing Colette out of her reverie to catch Genis commenting on the building. "Must've gotten Dirk to help you, huh? He did a nice job."

Looking up at the building, Colette bit her lip. "Actually, I had help from a...stranger."

Both of them looked at her curiously and she glanced to the side. Genis shrugged and then frowned, looking behind him. "Hey, where did Noishe go? Wasn't he behind us, Presea?"

"I believe he smelled something that interested him," Presea answered. "I am sure he will find his way."

"He's a coward though, what would have caught his interest?" Genis sighed, walking back towards the bridge, whistling sharply. "Hey, Noishe! Where are you, boy?"

Smiling Colette turned to Presea. "He really worries about him."

"Of course. Noishe was once Lloyd's pet. Genis feels strongly about taking care of him." Presea nodded, watching Genis.

Shifting uneasily, Colette searched for something to say when something crashed through the trees Noishe came barrelling past Genis. The protozoan whined, pacing around the clearing, sniffing the ground before he stopped and looked towards the girls. Genis laughed. "Been a while since you were last here. Hey Noishe? Hasn't changed much has it?"

The protozoan whined again; tail wagging as he stared at Colette. Normally Colette would have been elated to see Noishe after so long, but something about the way the protozoan just stood there, waiting expectantly, bothered her. Genis attempted to convince the protozoan to walk over to Colette, but he remained where he was, just watching her.

"It's alright, Genis. He probably just doesn't recognize me." Colette offered, turning away from the protozoan. "Why don't we go inside? I can make us something to eat."

"That sounds like a great idea!" Genis agreed and Presea shook her head in amusement.

"Genis, enthusiasm about food has greatly increased since we last saw you, Colette."

Genis pouted at the comment, before darting into the house. "I can cook if you want, Colette. I learned a few new dishes you might like." He didn't even really wait for a response as he headed for the cupboards.

Colette sighed and Presea just shook her head as the girls seated themselves at the table. Colette left the door open, in case Noishe wanted to come in, but the protozoan lingered outside the door quietly. "So what have you two been up to lately?" Colette asked, brushing hair behind her ear.

"We've been travelling mostly, from town to town." Genis called over his shoulder. "Just getting by," he added causally.

"Genis has actually been visiting the Palmacosta Academy recently. They allow him to study abroad and submit his work whenever he returns. He is quite intelligent."Presea added looking at him, not without some affection and Colette couldn't help, but wonder about the progress of their relationship.

"It must be difficult studying on your own." Colette added.

Flushing from embarrassment, Genis shrugged. "I learn what I can. I don't mind the challenge."

Colette nodded absently, turning her gaze to the open doorway. Noishe laid stretched out in the frame, head lying on his forepaws and his dark eyes locked on her. The instant she looked at him, his head lifted and he whined.

Glancing over at him, Genis frowned. "He's been acting strange ever since we left Iselia. He seems upset about something."

"Really?" Colette asked worriedly.

"There is a chance he misses, Lloyd." Presea offered. Colette and Genis looked at her and she rose, walking over to crouch near the protozoan, scratching his head. "Being here would hold many memories for Noishe."

"Yes, that does make sense." Colette watched the protozoan for a minute before looking out the water-stained window. It was obvious the moment Noishe entered the clearing, he had smelled Lloyd, but just as Lloyd's appearance changed, his scent would be different to Noishe as well. Her face fell, when she thought of how Lloyd's disappearance would have affected the protozoan since they had been together since Dirk found them. Maybe even longer. Noishe must really miss him.

Presea and Genis talked quietly amongst themselves and to her, though they most likely realized she was distracted. She listened to their stories politely, commenting now and then, but through it all she noticed primarily that any reference to Lloyd was estranged, as if, he was just something to be compared to. Colette knew that wasn't how they thought of Lloyd, that this was probably just their way of keeping him in their lives without mourning him.

"...So when Raine came back and told us you were here..." Genis' voice trailed off and Colette blinked and focused on him. "Why did you come back, Colette?" his light-hearted tone suddenly became strangely serious and the way he looked at her confused her.

Colette folded her hands on the table, rubbing her fingers distractedly. "I didn't want to risk staying in Iselia, but I was still tried from travelling so decided to stay here for a little while before I move—"

"You got the place fixed up, Colette." Genis scoffed and she looked down. "Why here? Why not a House of Salvation?"

"I just wanted some time alone. Those places are usually so crowded." She forced a smile.

Genis stared at her, while Presea turned her gaze to the side. Genis spoke after a moment of silence. "He's not coming back, if that's why you are here."

It fell silent and Colette only stared at him. Every part of her wanted to shout out that he was wrong, to tell them the truth, but she swallowed her desires and instead said. "You don't know that."

Genis sighed heavily and turned away, going back to making their meal. Presea eyed Colette sadly. "We all miss him. But the chances of him being alive after—"

"Don't!" Colette cut her off firmly, shocking her friends and she apologized quickly. "I'm sorry, just...don't."

Genis and Presea exchanged glances and Colette looked out the window, swallowing. Why couldn't she just tell them the truth? Why didn't Lloyd want them to know he was alive? He said it was easier this way. What was easier? That he didn't have to face them? That he didn't have to explain himself? Maybe, but it wasn't easy for her. It wasn't easy to keep a secret like this from them.

"We're sorry too, Colette," Genis said after a while, his back to them. Colette looked over; Genis' tall form was slouched slightly as if he was suddenly tired, released of a burden he had been carrying. "I wish he was back too. I miss him. I mean..." he turned slightly and Colette saw the pain on his face. He laughed bitterly. "I mean he was my best friend too." He looked up, caught Colette's eye."

"I'm sorry..."

Genis shook his head. "Never mind, it's—" he frowned. "Wait a minute...are you wearing his clothes?"

Colette blinked at the question and then flushed, embarrassed. She brushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. "Uh...yeah...I..." she trailed off.

Presea smiled, Genis shook his head and started to snicker and then laugh. The girls looked at him strangely. "Lloyd really was scrawny."

The statement made both girls giggled weakly as well, the tension between the three friends breaking. After that, the conversation became lighter. Genis started joking about Raine's crazy idea to trust Yuan and that if they all get together again, they can stop Yggdrasill and Cruxis. Colette smiled when she learned that Genis thought the Renegade leader was all hot air and that even Presea was doubtful about Yuan's intentions. She knew they both held the half-elf in suspicion, they had both seen him vanish with Kratos and Lloyd that day. He wasn't a man they could trust.

Gradually, Colette relaxed as the conversation drifted away from Lloyd and even Noishe wriggled his way into the house, curling around Colette's chair, listening quietly as the three friends reminisced.

* * *

It bothered him. Greatly.

Lloyd watched his father from the corner of his eye as they walked down the dusty road. Any by-passers gave them wary and strange looks, but with good reason. Both men walked silently, hardened expression and hands resting on their weapons. Their attire was clearly of high standing, clearly the appearance of experienced swordsmen. To further emphasize the peculiarity of the sight, they appeared as brothers, walking side-by-side, their stride equal and their stature eerily similar. It was understandable the commoners would find the scene curious. Still Lloyd wasn't focused on that. His concerned lied with what never happened on Derris Kharlan.

Lloyd had returned to his room mentally prepared to begin an awkward conversation with his father. He had indeed found Kratos waiting outside near his doors. Every inch of Lloyd was tense and acute, creating a wall that could reflect any obtrusive assumption towards his personal life. Lloyd knew Yuan's games too well. The half-elf had largely influenced Lloyd in his ability to avoid suspicion and fluently stretch truths, the man was a master at it. Yet, it made Lloyd nervous to know how much Yuan knew was true and how much was mere speculation based on Lloyd's reactions. Regardless, Lloyd was wary as he approached his father.

However, Kratos hadn't begun a conversation at all, as Lloyd suspected. Kratos merely informed Lloyd of his request to Yggdrasill to accompany Lloyd and if Yggdrasill had spoken of it. Slightly caught off guard, Lloyd managed to confirm it and Kratos simply nodded and told him he would meet him tomorrow. The entire ordeal left Lloyd feeling extremely puzzled and uneasy. He tossed the concept of whether Yuan had merely been jesting about speaking to his father about his...excursion, or if Kratos was simply avoiding the topic entirely. Either way, it kept Lloyd tense and his father noticed it.

"What's troubling you?" Kratos asked, glancing over.

Lloyd gave his head a light shake. "Trivial matters."

The response gave way to more silence and Lloyd wondered if he had severed a possible conversation. Frowning a little, Lloyd felt a little guilty. Conversations, that weren't completely formal, were difficult to obtain from Kratos. Still, he didn't want to unconsciously encourage a particular conversation either. He sighed heavily in frustration.

"You are working too hard." Kratos cut in a moment later, making Lloyd look over at him. "Perhaps this mission was more than you bargained for."

"Are you saying I can't handle it?" Lloyd countered defensively, though he wasn't irate at the comment. He learned quickly that usually Kratos' statements were based on concern, not admonishment.

Their swords clinked in their sheaths as they walked. Kratos hesitated before he answered. "I am saying perhaps you are trying too hard to prove yourself. Yggdrasill placed high expectations on you to complete this mission where others failed. It's natural to want to proceed with caution."

Releasing a bitter chuckle, Lloyd rested a hand on his sword hilt. "I thought you had understood that I do not search for praise from Yggdrasill. I do it because I am ordered to, that's all."

"It's strange hearing you say that so calmly," Kratos replied and Lloyd shrugged, not looking at him. "Only a couple of years ago, you would rant how you'd defy him at every turn."

"People mature," Lloyd muttered. "When you really understand the concept of inevitability, it's not long before you start seeing situations for what they really are."

Lloyd could feel Kratos' eyes on him, but he didn't look over. He had covered this topic with his father multiple times. He knew Kratos felt responsible for what happened to his son, and perhaps he was responsible, but to Lloyd, it didn't matter. In the end, Lloyd was the one who accepted the altercations of his life. Kratos had been the only thing stable throughout the endeavour and that was what Lloyd appreciated.

"And what is your situation at the moment? Is it inevitable or are you directing it?" the question was unexpected and Lloyd looked at him with a frown. Kratos gave a half-smile. "It's what's troubling you, isn't it? You are struggling with your mission to bring Colette—"

"The Chosen," Lloyd corrected him automatically, barely realizing it himself.

"Very well, the Chosen. You are undecided on whether it is morally right to bring her in."

Lloyd turned his gaze forward again, unable to meet his father's eye. Was it so evidently written across his face? He smiled and shook his head, "No, that's not what is troubling me," he said, hoping to convince Kratos. "I am resolved in my duty towards the Chosen."

Lloyd glanced to the left and nodded towards a small grove of trees some distance from the road. Palmacosta was within sight and the sunlight was irritating Lloyd. It was a little too bright, too direct, out in the open, compared to light that filtered through the branches within the forests. It was difficult for him to think. "I believe that will be a suitable position to watch for the Chosen."

Kratos said nothing, but the two men angled for the trees. They walked in silence again, but Lloyd wasn't as bothered as he was before. Perhaps, he preferred the silence rather than the formal talk. They reached the trees and Lloyd lowered himself to the ground, Kratos a few feet away, at the base of another tree. Lloyd sighed, leaning back against it, relishing how the cool shadows eased his strained eyes. He wondered if it was caused by his enhanced vision in the harsh sunlight. It made sense.

Opening his eyes slightly, Lloyd saw Kratos staring towards the city. Kratos had specifically requested time to spend with his son, and Lloyd was uncertain whether this is what his father expected or not. Lloyd let his eyes linger on him, frowning and pondering the idea. It was true, in the earlier years of being within Cruxis, both Kratos and he spoke a lot more. His father explained a great deal about his past, his journey through the Kharlan War—though briefly, the fate of his mother and the years separated from Lloyd. It was a harsh truth to accept and Lloyd openly voiced his emotions when he learned of them; but, looking back on it, Lloyd knew those moments where he yelled at his father and fell to tears of frustration and anger, verbally declaring his hatred for Kratos, were moments that filled the empty void within Lloyd. The father and son relationship had been slow and uneasy; Lloyd verbally hurt Kratos more than once and, as a result, hurt himself. Yet, both understood that what was said wasn't necessarily true and served only to strength the slow building bond between them. The changes were subtle, but constant as time went by. Lloyd relied on Kratos being there, regardless how angry he seemed and Kratos understood that.

Lloyd frowned. It seemed too simple as he reflected on it and the torrent of emotional pain seemed fruitless and insignificant. There was no hatred, no resentment or pain left in Lloyd. He never regretted spending time with his father, even if he was part of the reason his companions had been erased from his life. Kratos was just simply his father and Lloyd was his son. Lloyd wouldn't want it any other way.

"You are awfully quiet." Kratos was staring at him and Lloyd realized he had blanked out while looking at him during his train of thought.

Lloyd cleared his throat and turned his head to the side, eyeing the road. "As are you."

"Perhaps, but at least I am aware of my surroundings." Lloyd winced and Kratos smiled lightly. "I would never have considered myself to be an interesting topic to think about?"

"Heh." Lloyd lowered his head, staring at his hands. "Apparently you are." Kratos waited quietly, but Lloyd could tell he was curious, his father looked at him in a particularly way when he was, just as he was doing now. "I was musing how different I act toward you now to how I first did when I learned we were related."

"You hated me with a passion," Kratos offered, but his voice was light with humour and Lloyd smiled.

"I did. Do you remember when I attempted to punch you and you just sidestepped?" Lloyd asked, thoughtfully.

"You were livid and continued to try."

Lloyd nodded, sliding one leg up to rest his arm on. "And when you finally allowed me to hit you, I was furious at you for letting me," He shook his head in amusement. "I was really childish back then."

Kratos nodded, the small smile still on his face. "Perhaps, yet, in some ways you still are."

Lloyd frowned and looked up at him in confusion. "How so?"

Something in the way Kratos hesitated, the strange expression that crossed his father's face made Lloyd regret the question. It wasn't because he had upset Kratos; there was no sign of that. It was something akin to embarrassment. However, before Lloyd could attempt to brush aside his own question, Kratos answered. "Yuan informed me of your unusual behaviour the other day. I believed it involved..." he hesitated for a moment and Lloyd grimaced as the word revealed itself. "...bunnies."

Lloyd stared at him, lost for words. His previous mental preparation was useless now and he struggled for a response. "Look, Dad, you know Yuan exaggerates situations." He felt his face heating, but he managed to keep his embarrassment hidden. "It just slipped out."

Kratos raised an eyebrow. "So you didn't intend for him to find out."

"No...Wait, what? Find out what?" Lloyd asked, genuinely confused.

A heavy sigh escaped the man and he rubbed his brow before facing Lloyd directly. "Yuan insists that you have been...'experimenting.' Kratos finished and Lloyd noticed the emphasis on the word experiment and he frowned.

"Experimenting?" He bounced possible ideas of what it would represent, but Kratos decided to elaborate before he settled on one.

"You have been distracted lately, Lloyd. Understandable, but your behaviour is strange. Yuan suspects you are hiding something and believes it is a result of being isolated on Derris Kharlan for so many years and finally being allowed back onto the worlds." Kratos frowned. "Though, like you said, he tends to over exaggerate."

Lloyd shifted uncomfortably; still puzzled by what it was they suspected him of. It didn't sound like it had anything to do with Colette, but...

"I haven't had time to experiment on anything. I've been tracking the Chosen," Lloyd responded, hoping that would resolve the matter.

"Have you?" Kratos looked straight at him.

The immediate question startled Lloyd, never considering that Kratos would suspect anything but the truth. He swallowed, suddenly nervous. Had he been naive? Had both Kratos and Yuan discovered his false reports and the reasons behind them? "Lloyd managed to find his voice, keeping it steady. "Yes, what else would I have been doing?"

Ironically, Lloyd was shocked to see Kratos, in return, shift uncomfortably at the question. Lloyd frowned, once again confused by his father's bizarre behaviour and decided to lay bare the issue. "Dad, what did Yuan tell you exactly?" his eyes narrowing.

Kratos seemed to consider the question and his answer before he exhaled. "Yuan believes that you have been experimenting with women. He believes your term 'bunnies' referred to the employees at the Altamira Resort on Tethe'alla, who are commonly called the 'Bunny Girls'." Lloyd's eyes widened drastically, but Kratos continued. "I find it difficult to believe, but Yuan informs me that you were extremely defensive after he questioned you about it. I merely want to know."

For a long moment, Lloyd just stared at his father. They honestly believed he was fooling around with women? The thought stunned him, yet he supposed in a sense there was slight irony in that assumption. Lloyd closed his eyes and his lips parted in a smile before he began chuckling. Shaking his head, Lloyd couldn't help but laugh at how imaginative Yuan was. Metaphorically twisting Lloyd words, believing there was some hidden message within them. "Bunnies" had only been a scapegoat after he had been caught daydreaming; it was entirely random in itself.

His amusement must have eased Kratos' anxieties as his father was leaning back against the tree, smiling himself. Lloyd calmed himself and looked at Kratos, shaking his head. "I am sure it will disappoint Yuan greatly to know that he is mistaken. Be rest assured, Dad, I am not acquainted with any...Bunny Girls from Altamira. I have not yet ventured into the prospering world."

Kratos sighed and nodded. "I had my doubts when Yuan approached me, but he was insistent that you were hiding something embarrassing. That it distracts you and cause you to 'daydream' as Yuan put it."

Lloyd nodded, smirking. "I am sure he came to many conclusions before reaching that one. Though, I am surprised you actually decided to believe him." He glanced at Kratos, who turned his eyes to the side. "Not to mention, actually approach me on the subject."

Kratos turned his gaze back on him, serious. "The concept isn't as far-fetched as you may think Lloyd. You are, after all, twenty-four years of age and within the past years had no social life with others beyond Yuan, Yggdrasill and myself."

"You missed the life-less angels." Lloyd pointed out, smirking at his father.

Kratos paused, unamused and Lloyd shrugged letting his father continue. "As I was saying. Yuan's assumption was that with you returning to the worlds it would perhaps trigger...emotions and feelings that you had initially kept under reserve during your time on Derris Kharlan. Lloyd, I know you understand there are consequences should—"

The smirk vanished and Lloyd stared at his father, heat rising to his cheeks. "Are you insinuating something?"

Kratos raised an eyebrow. "Tell me you haven't experienced these reactions and I will drop the matter."

Lloyd gritted his teeth, the night with Colette flashing across his mind, the speed of his pounding heart, the intense feeling that rose in his chest, the shiver that coursed through his body at the touch of her lips and the overwhelming desire to be with her. However, despite that, he stared Kratos in the eye and answered firmly. "I haven't."

Lloyd couldn't tell whether Kratos believed him, but regardless, the matter dropped. Silence replaced the conversation and the air was more tense and uncomfortable than it had been previously. There was guilt and shame for directly lying to his father's face, but Lloyd was just as irritated and embarrassed to have been lectured on his personal life. Not only that, it resurfaced the familiar longing to be back with Colette, concerned for her safety and just to be near her again. At least with her, he could imagine things were somewhat like the past.

The heated lingered on his face and he knew his cheeks betrayed a slight color for Kratos was watching him curiously. Lloyd purposely met Kratos' gaze, causing his father to turn away. Lloyd smirked; at least he wasn't the only one embarrassed.

**Please Review.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Listening to **See Me Through by Rascal Flatts. **Cutest song ever and totally fits. Anyway, very, very sorry for the delayed update. Went home for the weekend and ended up having internet problems and couldn't post. So it's here now. On another note, saw 'Tangled' on the weekend. Totally worth seeing. Loved it.  
Enjoy the chapter and thanks for the reading and reviewing.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia

**Chapter 10:**

It lasted a week.

Time passed lethargically during that span. Thoughts plagued him constantly, concerns harried him and, most of the time Lloyd was distracted. His mind had been struggling to analyze his current situation after the conversation with Kratos.

Relief filled him, knowing that his relationship with Colette had continued to go unnoticed and that Kratos seemingly believed Lloyd side of the story above Yuan's. However, the confrontation seriously made him rethink his position and actions over the past month or so.

Determinedly, Lloyd had forced himself to comply with Yggdrasill's orders and remained in the Palmacosta region, rather than return to Iselia. He avoided the city for the most part, but contented himself by wandering the road between the House of Salvation and Palmacosta. He questioned other wayfarers and travellers about the current weather and state of travelling of late, of current rumours and stories that might prove important. Lloyd had decided that it was necessary to gain enough information to back up his reports in case a second party countered his claims.

He had managed to discover useful information that actually benefited his false reports. On the last day Lloyd had learned of smaller fishing boats, like the one he vaguely remember crossing from Izoold to Palmacosta in years back, travelling in and out without announcements. It was this news, from a younger male pilgrim he caught outside the city, that allowed Lloyd to return to Derris Kharlan.

Revising his report in his head as he headed to the Yggdrasill's chambers, Lloyd tentatively found himself eager to complete this and return to Sylvarant. The feeling was fleeting enough that he buried it, but he had felt it and he was aware of what it meant.

Despite his own elation at his discovery, Yggdrasill was less than pleased.

"You let her passed you!" he snapped and Lloyd swallowed, keeping his face stony.

"I was unaware of the secondary modes of transportation. The fishing boats aren't expected to record their comings and goings in the city harbour, my Lord."

Yggdrasill glowered and closed his eyes. "Alright. So you expect her to be within the Triet region?"

Lloyd nodded solemnly. "Within a week or so to cross the ocean. A few more days to reach the desert. If she is believes she is being followed, she will most likely aim for the land pass near Hima—"

"It doesn't matter." Yggdrasill waved him off. "I will have Pronyma inform Forcystus and have him send men to patrol the land pass and watch Izoold. She's not leaving that continent."

Lloyd faltered for a moment, nearly voicing his objection, but Yggdrasill's temperament was on a taut string and speaking out would likely cause it to snap. Lloyd dutifully finished giving Yggdrasill his information and then bowed, leaving stiffly. His previous elation dashed, Lloyd left Derris Kharlan quickly, warping back to Sylvarant. He was livid towards the angel and the sudden emotion struck him as odd.

As of late, Lloyd discovered that his patience towards Yggdrasill had been becoming tenser. There had never been a strict respect for the Cruxis Leader, it was more of a forced fealty that Lloyd grew accustom in abiding by, but nevertheless, he couldn't remember feeling this much irritable loathing for Yggdrasill in years.

Lloyd sighed and glanced up at the sun. It was only midday and the likely-hood that the Sages were checking in with Colette was a high. As much as Lloyd desired to see her himself, he restrained the want and seated himself beneath a tree. He flicked his eyes skyward, peering through the overhanging canopy as he allowed his thoughts to meander back to his previous musings.

* * *

_Lloyd stared at Yggdrasill blankly, Kratos standing at his son's side. He could hear their breaths, slow and deep, different pacing however. His father's was slightly faster. Lloyd supposed he was anxious. _

_Tension was high and thick between the three men. Kratos stood stiffly, his usual stance with a hand braced against his sword's hilt. Lloyd, however, careened slightly on a left slant, his weight shifted onto the one foot, hands resting easily on the sheathes of his swords and his shoulders slouched. He was bored, to be honest, but he wouldn't betray it with a sigh. He wouldn't show anything. It was part of the ordeal, to learn respect, patience, to await acknowledgement and understand discipline. Lloyd was expected to adapt such a behaviour and it had taken nearly three years to have reached this far. _

_He did it mainly for his father, though Lloyd suppose a part of him was just tired of struggling against an endless battle of pride. It was a simple fact really. Either Lloyd did as instructed or he received the consequences until he did. The pain hadn't affected him earlier on, during the first year of this 'training', since the effect of the angelic transformation had numbed his pain for the most part. However, as the second year dragged on, Lloyd discovered that some of the mana burns did sting and the bruises throbbed; old forgotten sensations that took Lloyd by surprise. Still, even that didn't deter Lloyd from rebelling occasionally. _

_Lloyd dared a side-glance at his father. Usually Kratos wasn't present during these lessons, but the injuries Lloyd bore caused Kratos to insist observing. Yggdrasill had been reluctant at first, but Kratos wasn't about to back down, which surprised Lloyd. _

_"Lloyd Aurion," Yggdrasill stated suddenly and Lloyd's eyes jumped back to the man. "You will cast the spells Kratos has taught you."_

_Letting his gaze lingering on Yggdrasill, Lloyd mentally bounced the prospect of obeying or disobeying the order. It was a petty instruction, one meant to degrade him into a being that nodded and reacted to every demand and Lloyd usually struggled relentlessly to keep that from happening, however..._

_Yggdrasill's eyes narrowed slightly and Lloyd turned away from him, he closes his eyes and breathed in deeply, hands limp at his side. The mana shifted, the energy summoned from his surroundings flowed into him. It moved quickly, and his fingers slowly curled as the energy burned, rushing through him and biting at his veins and bones. His eyes snapped open and he threw his arm up, palm forward. The mana surged from him and popped as it collided with the air before a flame ignited and hurled itself across the room, exploding as it slammed into the wall, sparks and remnants of the fire wink out. The burning sensation lingering for a moment before it seemed to drain out of him. _

_Lloyd blinked and lowered his hand before glancing at Yggdrasill. The man merely nodded his head, indicating for him to continue. _

_And Lloyd did._

_Each spell took less than a minute to cast, but the ordeal seemed to last much longer. Words weren't spoken and Lloyd cast each spell consecutively: fire, wind, lightning, ground, healing and light, the energy flowed through him easily and even though he felt the drain as it left him, he was not fatigued. _

_With the last one cast, Lloyd stared as the remnants of his light spell vanished; leaving his vision temporarily marred, and lowered his arm slowly. _

_"Well done, Lloyd." Yggdrasill's voice reached him and Lloyd turned his head slowly towards him. Yggdrasill studied him for a moment a smile on his features. "You handle magic effectively; I wouldn't be surprised if you could learn even more advanced forms. I would like you to progress with that."_

_Lloyd narrowed his eyes slightly, Yggdrasill's order repeating itself in his head. He slowly lowered his gaze and bowed. "As you wish, Lord Yggdrasill." His voice was dull and he knew it echoed his own disinterest, but Yggdrasill seemed pleased enough with Lloyd's spells and cooperation, he knew the man would let it pass. _

_The smile could be heard in his voice as Yggdrasill dismissed them, but Lloyd could care less. He simply turned and walked out, shadowed by his father. It wasn't until he reached his quarters and after Kratos followed him in that he gave a bitter laugh. "I made him happy."_

_Kratos watched him quietly and Lloyd glanced at him, giving a crooked smile before seating himself on the bed with a loud sigh. His father followed suit, pulled out the chair from the desk and sat silently, his eyes still on Lloyd. "Why did you cooperate so easily?"_

_"Am I supposed to disobey and get punished?" Lloyd looked up at him, his bangs hanging lazily in his vision. _

_"No, it is just unusual that you would." Lloyd smirked, but Kratos' worried gaze bore down on him. "Is something bothering you?"_

_Lloyd looked at his hands, frowning. "I'm just..." he pausing, unsure if the word he was thinking fit and decided it did and sighed. "I'm just tired, Dad." _

_The silence was drawn out and Lloyd turned to the wall, the same wall he had stared at for hours, days, weeks...it was a familiar sight and a welcomed one. It was the wall where he could see images from his memory form. People and places he longed to see again, but knew he wouldn't. Iselia often painted itself there, shifting from the school, Sages' house, to the store, to the Brunels' home...It usually made him sad. Now he was just...cold._

_"Lloyd, I know you told me not to ask you again, but..." Kratos' voice was low and soft. Lloyd blinked, letting his thoughts disperse to look at his father. The expression he found was one he knew, hurt and concern. Instead of making him angry, Lloyd just realized how unnatural it appeared on his Kratos' face. His father sighed. "I can return you to Sylvarant and set you free of this place. You can return to your friends. You don't have to remain here any longer."_

_Lloyd closed his eyes, a weak smile on his lips. "There is no place for me to return to there. Three years is a long time even under normal conditions." He looked down at his hand, turning it over, and the exsphere glinted in the light. "I often wonder what's happening down there. I miss them and I am sure they miss Lloyd as well." He sighed, still smiling as he looked at Kratos. "But he's gotten lost, somewhere along the way. I know it, and you do as well, I can see it in the way you look at me. I'm not the same as I use to be. Little by little, I've been eroding away even though I have put up a fight."_

_"Lloyd..."_

_"But Dad? I'm just tired of fighting a battle I know I can't win. I realized that today, in front of Yggdrasill. I thought about resisting and saying no, but then I just couldn't see the point of it. I'm not leaving this place and Yggdrasill knows it. Even if he didn't pressure me to follow his commands, I think it would happen eventually anyway."_

_"So you are giving up?" Kratos voice was hard. Lloyd could tell his father was upset and Lloyd chuckled._

_"No, Dad, I'm not giving up. I'm just tired of struggling against something that is going to happen. So instead, I'll play along with Yggdrasill. Keep him happy and perhaps he will leave me alone. I can get stronger, train, and change while I am here. Because, if I am going to change anyway," he paused, looking at his hands again. "I should at least try to do it of my own free will." _

_Kratos frowned and then stood, walking over to him. "If that is what you want." He placed a hand on Lloyd's shoulder and looked down at him._

_Lloyd shook his head. "It's not what I want." He turned to the wall, smiling lightly though his eyes welled. "It's what I have to do to protect them. Even if it means giving them up."_

* * *

Lloyd's eyes snapped open, wide and he stared at the fading image of his father, vanishing in the dull light of dusk. Blinking, Lloyd frowned before covering his eyes, rubbing them slightly before rising to his feet with a heavy sigh. "Protect them..." he muttered as he stared at the sinking sun. "If only I was doing that."

The birds were particularly noisy this evening or perhaps Lloyd was just feeling slightly more irritated than usual. The memory hadn't been a pleasant one, especially when he considered how the others would have responded to such a speech if they had been able to. It left him feeling ashamed and yet, content at the same time. His decision had been one of logic, something necessary to survive in the environment he had lived in and as much as he re-evaluated what happened that day, he doubt he would have changed his mind.

He walked quietly through the loud forest, wincing occasionally when a bird reached a particular high note in their song. There was no wind, so the insects hummed relentlessly as well as the heat waned with the approaching darkness. Yet despite the clamour around him, he heard the voices from ahead clearly.

Lloyd's hands slowly gripped the sheathes of his sword, stopping the light clink of metal from the weapons and approached the tree line. He paused, far enough back that he was invisible to anyone glancing into the forest, but near enough to make out the voices and to catch a small glimpse of the figures.

Colette's voice was immediately identifiable and his nerves shivered as he heard her laugh. A second voice he easily discerned as Miss Sage, the nostalgic sharp voice, admonishing Colette to take care of herself. Lloyd frowned in spite of himself. She was a meddlesome woman, despite her good intentions; he would have to remind Colette to be wary around her.

Two other voices bid their farewells also, but Lloyd couldn't quite place them. One was a deeper masculine voice, loud and boisterous, while the other was softer and definitely more mature in the feminine tone. Lloyd shifted slightly, attempting to gain a view of the two strangers, but they were already moving. All he could distinguish was their shapes, shadowed by the trees and vanishing light. He narrowed his eyes, as he listened to them walk away. Once satisfied that they were out of hearing he stepped forward, leaving the cover of the trees. Colette had remained outside, humming lightly to herself. The tune sounded familiar, but Lloyd couldn't recall the song. He saw her before she noticed him and walked slowly towards her. She was standing at the clothesline, gathering dry clothes and dropping them into the basket.

He raised an eyebrow as he approached, still unnoticed, and shook his head slightly. Colette lifted her head after dropping her white shirt in to the basket and reached to grab one of Lloyd's old black ones when she finally noticed him and froze, hand on the wooden pins that fastened the clothes to the line.

She blinked in surprise. "Lloyd—?"

Lloyd stared at her, folding his arms. "Your lack of awareness of your surroundings makes you an easy target. You are getting careless."

Colette opened her mouth slightly before she frowned, plucking the shirt off the line, the rope bouncing. "You walk softer than Desians."

"Don't assume you know your enemy—"

"Oh be quiet!" Colette scowled mockingly and threw the shirt at his face. Lloyd lifted his arm catching it before it fell and then blinked when he found Colette rushing at him, throwing her arms around him. "I'm glad you back," she murmured happily.

Lloyd shifted his feet, to balance himself from the embrace, looking down at her. She pulled back before he could even consider returning gesture. She smiled at him. "Where have you been? I've missed you."

Wordlessly he handed her the shirt back, which she tossed into the basket. "I was in the Palmacosta region for a few days, gathering information to strengthen my false reports." He softened his expression and stepped towards her, touching her elbow lightly. "How have you been?"

Colette smiled brightly as she tucked hair behind her ear. "Keeping myself busy. The garden is coming nicely, finally removed all those weeds. Oh, and I had visitors here today—"

"I heard them." Lloyd nodded, and then frowned.

She didn't seem to notice. "Oh, okay." He watched as Colette moved and lifted the basket of clothes, bracing it on her hip. He followed her as she headed back to the house, neither talking. Lloyd gently shut the door as Colette set the basket on the table, lifting her head to look at Lloyd. "Is something bothering you?"

Lloyd glanced to the side, surveying the room. Strange how clean it appeared, the plant debris gone and the dust wiped clear to reveal the smooth furnished food of the cupboards and chairs. Even the windows seemed a little less water-stained. "I recognized Miss Sage's voice earlier, though there were two I couldn't identify with." He turned his gaze back to her. "I have my—"

Her giggles cut him off and he stared at her as she looked back at him. "It was Genis and Presea, Lloyd. Who else did you think it could be?"

Her blunt response unsettled him, realizing how obvious the answer had been and he frowned. "I suppose you are right. I didn't realize their voices had changed so drastically."

Colette still smiled, holding the rim of the basket with her hands. "I'm not surprised you wouldn't recognize their voices, though I suppose I am use to it." She rubbed her hand on the rim. "Genis' voice cracked a couple years ago, apparently, and Presea has regained her emotions so—"

"I remember. The key crest you said Dirk made for her." Lloyd asked, moving forward to slide out a chair. He seated himself and Colette did the same. "It's a relief that you were able to help her."

Colette nodded, looking at him and then at her hands. "They miss you."

Lloyd didn't respond, just averted his gaze to the side. He figured she knew what he would have said, so she didn't press. They didn't miss him, they missed Lloyd Irving, but he kept that to himself, knowing it would upset her. After a few moments, Lloyd sighed and leaned forward and reached for her hands. Startled, Colette jerked her head up and he frowned. "It is necessary that you move away from the Iselia and Triet regions within a month Colette."

"What? Why-?"

"In order to elude suspicion, I reported that you were sailing towards Izoold and that you would reach it within a couple of weeks. Yggdrasill plans to have the Iselia Ranch send soldiers to block the land pass and—"

"I'm not leaving, Lloyd." Her brow furrowed. "I don't want to have to start running all over again."

"Colette, listen to me. If you stay here, they will find you. It is too dangerous." He spoke firmly, knowing he had to get the point across. "You can locate to a more suitable place to—"

"And what then? Wait until they get too close and run again?" she shook her head, trying to tug her hands from his. "I just—"

"Colette." Lloyd cut her off and she looked at him. He gripped her hands tightly, searching her face. "I will not be the one responsible for your capture, understand me? I directed them towards you, but I will not allow them to find you."

She held his gaze for a moment, before she bowed her head. "Alright." Lloyd rubbed her hand with his thumb and she glanced up at him. "Within a month."

He nodded and she sighed. Lloyd hesitated then released her hands, leaning back. He was disgusted with himself for forcing her to abandon this temporary home she had created, this serene lifestyle that she had adapted after years of fleeing. However, he couldn't allow her to risk staying. The Desians would be scouring the entire region, determined to find her. He wouldn't allow them to find her.

The mood was sullen as a result of the conversation and Lloyd longed to make her smile and momentarily forget the foreboding future. He tapped his fingers on his leg, gazing out the window, the light having vanished behind the trees and the sky melding with azure and violet tones. "Would you care to go for a walk?" Lloyd asked, turning his attention towards her again.

She looked at him curiously then out the window. "But it's dark."

"Does that concern you?" Lloyd asked, his tone a little lighter.

"No, it doesn't, I just..." she trailed off and then smiled brightly. "I'd love to."

They rose together and Lloyd opened the door, allowing her to step outside. The air was tepid, despite the lack of the sun, and Lloyd could still make out the incessantly, loud hum of the insects. Lloyd led the way, Colette not asking where they were headed, but content to walk silently beside him. He crossed the little bridge and followed the path a ways before cutting into the forest. Colette hesitated and Lloyd glanced back. "Following the path will guide us too close to the ranch," he explained quietly.

She glanced down the path and then at him, nodding and followed him through the underbrush. "This makes it a little difficult to walk, though," she replied.

Lloyd tilted his head, indicating a direction. "It's not much further until it opens to the field." He waited until she was next to him and then set a pace that she could easily follow. The forest was a hazy, dark and all the colors seemed to blend. The shadows melded, spreading across the foliage and tree trunks like murky water through a stream. Lloyd's eyes adjusted easily, the outlines of the vegetation and trees defining themselves despite the mesh of color. He slid past trees, weaving around the bushes and he notice Colette was right on his heels. As she came up beside him again, his eyes flitted over to her.

Her golden hair and pale skin had dulled from the shadows of the forest. He knew it was only an illusion caused by the lack of light; however, it made him look at her more closely. Lloyd found that despite the lack of shine she normally gave off, she still managed to fixate his attention. Even in the darkness, she was beautiful.

Colette caught his gaze and smiled at him, but he turned away. "Must you do that?" she asked, hurt.

Lloyd furrowed his brow, sidestepping a dead tree-limb. "Do what?"

"Turn away from me when I look at you." Colette answered. Lloyd glanced over and saw her running her fingers through the leaves of an overhanging branch. "It's like you are embarrassed to be caught looking at me."

"I simply forget my manners." Lloyd gripped his sword hilt, turning his eyes forward. He could see the tree line and a faint light outlining the trunks and canopy. "I assume it makes one uncomfortable to be stared at."

He felt Colette's eyes on him and then heard a light laugh. "Is that what you think?"

Lloyd didn't respond nor look at her.

"I think you are embarrassed," Colette replied after a minute. "I don't mind, you know."

"It's not embarrassment." Lloyd countered, but Colette just smiled.

"You are quiet." Colette cut through the silence as they stepped out onto the field. Moonbeams flooded the grass like a luminous blanket.

Lloyd glanced down at her. "I didn't realize I was talkative to begin with."

"Yes...you're right." Colette nodded quietly. Lloyd watched her for a moment, then slowly moved his hand and slipped it into hers, his fingers gently spreading hers as he closed his hand around hers. She flinched at the sudden touch and looked at their hands and then at him, her expression surprised.

"Lloyd—" she started, but he cut her off.

"Shall we keep walking?" he wasn't looking at her, but he felt Colette squeeze his hand and imagined her smile spreading out.

"Okay."

They walked slowly away from the trees, following an obscure trodden path formed by the forest creatures, but it gradually vanished beneath the thicker grass. The grass swished against their legs, keeping the silence at bay. However, despite that, he felt as if there should be words, a substance to make it the moment seem tangible. Usually Colette managed to find the words and carry the conversation when the quiet dragged on for too long. Yet, oddly enough, Colette seemed almost content with it now.

Lloyd watched her from the corner of his eye, yet still fully aware of his surroundings and listening for possible predators prowling at night. He felt obligated to speak, but couldn't seem to find the words.

Either his expression showed his distress, or she was sharing his thoughts, because not moments later she spoke. "Lloyd...?" her voice was quiet and head down, as if she was ashamed of what she was about to say.

"Yes?" Lloyd asked and though his voice didn't falter, he felt wary.

"I am a burden on you, aren't I? Just like I was on the Journey of Regeneration. Rather than worrying about yourself, you worry about me. It's why you stayed in Cruxis, to protect me. It's why you are still in Cruxis, risking your life by lying to Yggdrasill and it's why you are here now." She slowed and came to a stop, her hand still clasped in his, but she was trembling. He could see the small jerks of her shoulder and the vibrations that traveled down her arm into his hand. She looked up at him and despite what he expected; there was just sadness in her eyes, no tears. "You are here because you think you have to protect me."

Lloyd was stunned. Never had he considered Colette as a burden, not now and not on the Journey. He faintly remembered her stating something similar back then, but he couldn't recall his answer. He stared at her hard and she lowered her eyes, attempting to tug her hand free. He held onto it tightly. "Colette, you are not a burden."

He knew his past self would have expanded on that, emphasized and given reasons to support and make her believe what he said. Yet, now, Lloyd found it more difficult and was more uncertain of his answers, so he stayed silent. In a logical standpoint, she was a burden in the sense she made the situation more challenging for him. Therefore, what she said was true, it was just Lloyd didn't personally believe she was weighing him down. Why were things so much more complicated?

Colette seemed to have been expecting him to elaborate as well, but when he didn't, her face fell and she tugged her hand free. "I'm sorry. I know you care for me, you always have. But it doesn't mean you have to position yourself between me and my problems." She smiled lightly, pain in her eyes. "I know this is hard for you and that you have..." She bit her lip. "That you have changed. You don't have to pretend for my sake. What happened that one night...I realize now that you were confused—we both were. But just because it happened, doesn't mean that we have to..." she trailed off, not looking at him.

Lloyd felt frightened for the briefest moment. He left as if he had become detached at what she said. She believed he was doing this out of obligation? That he felt nothing for her? It startled him and he couldn't find a way to respond immediately. If anything, he was acting for himself, not out of duty. He had always believed he was acting out selfishly, unable to allow her to vanish. Unable to let her go...

Then it struck him. Lloyd frowned and closed his eyes. Never once had he told her what she really meant, the reasons behind his actions. He barely knew himself, but he had accepted it as something he desired to do. To make her happy. However, Colette knew nothing of that...

Lloyd's eyes opened slowly and he took her hands in his, startling her. Their eyes met and he searched them for a moment before he struggled to find the words to ease her distress.

"I never understood why I reacted like I did the day I released you and walked away. I just couldn't bear to see you look at me like that. It was...it was the same way you looked at me at the Tower, except this time...this time you were actually telling me, begging me to let you go and I couldn't...I just couldn't let it happen again. I couldn't let you disappear. After that—after I just couldn't stay away, I couldn't stop thinking of you, and seeing you there. You were so afraid of me and..." Lloyd watched her expression, Colette's eyes widening with every word he spoke, but he continued.

"I hurt you. I know I hurt you, Colette, and I can't take that back. All I want is to make you happy, that's all I ever think about. How to keep you safe and how make you happy. To not be afraid. And I feel so damn helpless when I can't do even that. I can hurt you over and over again, but I struggle to make you happy." He gritted his teeth, frowning as he broke eye contact with her, staring down at their hands.

"I didn't know why it bothered me so much. I didn't understand the feeling and I needed to answer it. So I came see you again and once I did, I couldn't leave. I didn't want to. I guess it's because something... because something happened, something I couldn't explain." He squeezed her hands, closing his eyes in frustration.

"It was like, a rush of emotion, one I didn't know, one I couldn't remember, and it just—just choked me. No, it suffocated me whenever I tried to leave, and only seeing you allowed me—only you made it stop and I guess what I am trying to say is..." he trailed off, eyes lifting slightly to look at her.

Tears trickled down her cheeks, but she was smiling and Lloyd felt as his heart skip a beat and he stumbled over the final words as he looked at her.

"I...I love you."

**Review Please.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Listening to **Saving Me by Nickelback. **Amazing song, fits the chapter nicely. So, sorry again, this is a bit late. Been studying a bit the past week, which is odd for me. Conscience got the better of me, I blame Psychology. Anyway, thank you everyone for reading and reviewing. As always appreciate it!  
Hope you enjoy **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 11:**

He was stammering.

Colette couldn't believe the tremor she heard in his voice, the shyness and uncertainty that seemed to have crept into his eyes and expression. His eyes lowered, hair falling to shadow his face. It was like he was seventeen again, being awkward and unsure. Colette's eyes widened in shock and her throat constricted. She felt his hands tighten around hers as words tumbled from his mouth, stumbling over sentences. His formality and calm demeanour flickering as she listened to him.

"Something happened...Something I couldn't explain." He frowned, brow creased in frustration as he struggled to put his feelings into words and Colette could feel the tears sting her eyes. It was like staring into the past, the same expression he had when he told her that they would put a stop to the Desians, that he would avenge his mother. The frustration, the hurt and determination shone like a beacon on his face, except this time it was to make her understand just how much she meant to him.

His eyes closed tightly and Colette listened, her eyes glistening as he kept speaking. She knew what he was trying to tell her, what he was trying to explain. Something that just couldn't be described and yet he tried. Colette knew he was discovering what it really was as he talked. Each word a new realization to himself as well. He wasn't thinking about it, he was feeling it. Just like he did all those years ago.

She heard the stammered 'I love you' and she smiled, tears trickling down her cheeks as he lifted his eyes to her. He was confused and startled, his expression revealing his own surprise at his confession. Yet Colette simply stepped towards him and embraced him. Her own fears and doubts vanishing as she realized that no matter what happened after this moment, even if this small glimpse of Lloyd's younger self vanished as quickly as it had appeared, she was happy. Lloyd hadn't disappeared, as he believed. He was still there and she would never doubt that again.

She was mad at herself for ever allowing the thoughts to cross her mind in the first place, to believe he didn't care. She realized now how much revealing those doubts had hurt Lloyd and the strength behind his efforts to try to show he truly did care.

Lloyd's arms slowly encircled her and she leaned against him, burying her face into his vest, the stiff material smelling strongly of him and she cried silently. Silently and happily.

They remained out there late into the night. Colette sitting and leaning against Lloyd, while his arm kept her close. He talked quietly of the past, the past before Cruxis. He talked about the two of them, recalling faint memories and though Colette noticed that the conversation and memories were ambiguous and vague in detail and never about the others, she realized he was trying. She could tell he was more relaxed than he had ever been with her before and she didn't want to ruin that. So she let him talk late into the night. She barely noticed when she started to drift off, but Lloyd must have as he whispered that they should return to the house. The walk back was in silence, but she didn't mind. Once they got back Colette turned and smiled at Lloyd as he stood at the doorway. His own expression had once again become unreadable, but she could still tell he was struggling.

Biting her lip, she was about to ask if he wanted her to stay with him, when he bid her goodbye and exited the house. Colette sighed, looked at the closed door and smiled lightly as she made her way up the stairs.

* * *

Something was burning.

The smell made her eyes snap open, her nose wrinkling in dislike for the strong scent before she jerked upright in the bed glancing around the room. A slight panic made her consider a fire, but there was no smoke coming from the stairs or anywhere in the room. She blinked in confusion when she heard a clang from downstairs and muttered curses. Instinctively, her hand shot out and grabbed for her chakrams resting on the desk near the bed—her gaze on the stairs. It took her a moment before she realized that the chance it was anyone but Lloyd was slim.

Hesitantly, she slipped from the beneath the covers and made her way to the stairs. The burning smell grew stronger as she made her way down the steps, as did the clanging. Gingerly, she bent slightly, peering down into the room.

Lloyd's back was to her, muttering profoundly as he fanned a cloth near the window. A pan laid smoking on the shelf and a clutter of dishes, dirty with what looked like batter, covered the shelf. Next to the pan sat a plate with what looked to be some type of burnt food. The scene bewildered Colette and she scanned her eyes over it again, taking another step down. "Lloyd?"

He stiffened and spun around, a cloth, hanging limp in his hand. He stared at her wordlessly, then glanced at the chaos surrounding him and frowned. "Forgive me, I made a mess."

Colette opened her mouth to speak, then shut it again, descending the rest of the stairs. "If you wanted something to eat, you could've woke me—"

"It wasn't for me," Lloyd muttered and turned around, grabbing the pan, which had ceased its smoking and dumped it into a basin of water. It hissed for a moment, sending steam up.

She didn't say anything as she watched him attempt to scrub the charred food off the pan. Then gently, she looked at the plate of food. "Pancakes?"

Lloyd grunted. "Suppose to be."

"They aren't that badly burned..." She studied the half blacken pancakes, then glanced back at him. "Just let it soak, Lloyd, it'll come off easier later."

Lloyd hesitated then complied, dropping the cloth in the blackened water. He didn't look at her, but she could see that he was upset. He stared at the plate and then grabbed it and headed for the door.

Colette, surprised, grabbed his arm. "What are you doing?"

"Throwing them out, obviously." Lloyd frowned. "They are ruined."

Shaking her head, she took the plate from him. "They are just a little charred, it's no problem." She turned and set it on the table and looked at him smile. "It was very thoughtful of you."

Lloyd merely grunted and moved back towards the basins, filling a second one with boiled water as he piled the sticky bowls into it. Colette bit her lip. "You don't have to clean up right away, I'll help—"

"No. I'll clean up." Lloyd cut her off, adding powdered soap, which he scrubbed onto the bowls. Water splashed from the basin, dripping onto the floor and he swore under his breath.

Covering her mouth to hide her smile, she walked over and retrieved and old rag and handed it to Lloyd. He took and bent to mop up the water, brow furrowed in frustration. "Lloyd, come sit down. Please?"

Lloyd straightened, turning his head slightly towards her, without really looking at her. Still, he set the rag on the shelf and followed her to the table. She sat and then blinked when she noticed a small bowl with a half a dozen wild flowers. The stems were too short and some of the flowers were half-submerged in the water. "Where did—?"

"I found them growing near the path." Lloyd leaned against the wall, rather than sitting at the table. She looked at him and noticed that he was looking agitated, tapping his fingers against his swords. "You don't have to eat that," he said after a moment. "I can make you something else, if you—"

"Lloyd." Colette looked at him and he hesitated, she smiled. "It's fine really."

He didn't argue, but Colette noticed that his frown deepened and she sighed. Taking the fork, she started to eat. She felt Lloyd's eyes on her as she did and she struggled to chew and ignore the burnt dough that overran her taste buds. She must not have succeed as Lloyd scowled and moved from the wall and over to the kettle boiling. She paused and watched as he fumbled with tea leaves and awkwardly poured steaming water into the cup. He stirred it, then carefully brought it over to the table. "If you are adamant about eating it, then at least I can give you something to wash it down."

Colette smiled and thanked him, lifting the cup and sipped the warm tea.

It was weak.

It caught her off guard and she paused, but then took another sip, but nothing escaped Lloyd and he sighed angrily. "I couldn't even do that properly either."

"Lloyd, it's nothing, just a little weaker than I am use to. It's fine." She tried to reassure him, but he turned away and walked over to the window, frowning. Colette sighed heavily and set the cup down. "Lloyd, what's this all about?"

He didn't answer for a long time, but Colette was patient and knew that eventually he would explain himself. She ate slowly, cutting off the worst of the burnt dough, though the flavour still lingered throughout the entire pancake. She couldn't help but smile at his frustration over such menial things such as burnt food and weak tea.

"I...I wanted it to be perfect."

Colette lifted her head, confusion on her face. "Perfect?"

"This." Lloyd gestured behind him, not even looking. "The flowers, the food..." he trailed off and she could hear the anger in his voice again. "I couldn't even accomplish this."

"Lloyd, you don't need to—"

"Yes, I do." He turned and looked at her, his expression softening. "For once, I desired to show you the hospitality that you've shown me. You deserve at least that."

Colette set her fork down and shook her head. "Lloyd, honestly, you don't need—" In mid-sentence, Colette felt her stomach lurch and she inhaled sharply. Nausea swept over her and she lowered her head, closing her eyes, hoping it would pass, one arm clutching her stomach.

She opened her eyes, only to find herself looking straight at the blackened pancakes, the burnt smell wafting around her and she felt her stomach lurch again.

"Colette?" Lloyd's called to her, concerned. "Are you all—?"

Colette's hand flew to her mouth and she stumbled out of her chair and over to the waste pail across the room. She retched and immediately her stomach emptied. She gasped, spitting as she shuddered from the foul taste and placed a hand on the shelf to steady herself. She blinked, trying to process what just happened when she heard footsteps and the chink of a plate. She turned slowly to see Lloyd gathering the remains of her breakfast and stride out the door quickly. She still managed to see the frustration on his face before the door shut firmly. Colette straightened, shivering slightly as she tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed heavily. Her stomach flipped anxiously, still a little nauseous and she decided it would be better to wait a moment before going after Lloyd.

The remains of the pancakes vanished into the trees. His fingers slid through his hair, tensing for a minute before he glared vehemently at the forest as if it was the cause of his distress and anger. It wasn't enough to have failed at making a simple meal, but he had cooked it poorly enough to make her ill. He grimaced and lowered his head, rubbing his free hand across his face.

It had been a mistake to even try. In all honesty, Lloyd hadn't been near food for nearly seven years and he knew his cooking skills were less than adequate now. He had let Kratos do most of the cooking, whenever they decided to eat; though, he had figured something as simple as frying dough would be within his limits. Apparently not.

She said it wasn't necessary, that he didn't need to do it. But from what he remembered, Colette was selfless and, in his opinion, that hadn't changed. He knew that she would set aside her needs without hesitation if it only meant to make another's life easier. Even now as she avoided the Desians, she did so alone.

He sighed heavily and walked to the stream, casting a glance around before crouching to dip the plate in the cool water, letting the crumbs wash away. He set the plate on the grass and closed his eyes, covering his face with one hand. Creatures rustled and darted through the foliage and canopy of the forest. Behind him, he listened as Colette moved within the house and straightened, knowing she wouldn't be long coming—

A loud snap made his head instantly turn to locate the trespasser. Whatever caused it was large and moving quickly.

The door opened and Colette stepped outside. "Lloyd."

He put his hand back, motioning for her to stop, not taking his eyes off the woods. She must have understood as he didn't hear her approach. Eyes narrowing, Lloyd stepped into the stream, ignoring the dampness that seeped through the leather boots. He stepped on the opposite bank, scanning the trees as he attempted to pinpoint the exact position of the intruder. Birds fluttered and squawked indignantly as the disturbance crashed below their roosts. Lloyd gripped his hilts expectantly. It had to be a creature, perhaps a predator in pursuit of prey or—

He heard a scrap of metal from behind and glanced back to see Colette advancing cautiously brandishing a chakram. Lloyd scowled, but not before an explosion of leaves and twigs burst from the forest and forced his attention. Lloyd saw a flash of white and, in an instant, a sword was in hand and he was about to deal a fatal blow. A yelping whine emitted from the beast and Lloyd hesitated as a familiar face rushed towards him. It swerved at the last minute and struck him in the side as it went barrelling past. The impact was enough to throw Lloyd back and he staggered to regain his balance when his foot slipped on the shallow stream bank and he nearly toppled into the water, only to have something strike him from behind and sent him flying forward. He barely was able to throw his hands out to prevent face planting into the ground when something heavy pressed against his back.

A cold nose nudged Lloyd's ear, a deafening whine caused Lloyd to wince, before his eyes widened in shock to faintly feel a soft tongue lapped at his neck and ear.

Lloyd swore and irritably pushed the muzzle from his neck and struggled to remove himself from beneath the creature when he heard Colette's laughter echo through the clearing. The creature howled in amusement and attempted to nuzzle him again, but Lloyd managed to twist around enough to position his arm against the creature's throat, keeping his lolling tongue away from Lloyd's face.

Irritation mixed with bewilderment flooded through Lloyd as he stared at the familiar beast's face. Noishe panted and tried to nip at him playfully; releasing soft growls and whines as he pressed against Lloyd's arm. Massive paws paced on and off Lloyd's legs as the protozoan attempted to reach his older master, his large ears were raised in anticipation and Lloyd could only stare at him.

Colette's laughter seemed to lessen and she called to the protozoan. "Noishe, get off him." She approached them, buckling her chakrams back to her belt and then hopped across the stream. She was smiling, her face glowing in amusement and Lloyd glanced at her as she grabbed the protozoan by the scruff of his neck, trying to haul him back.

Noishe whined and protested, but gradually pulled back enough to allow Lloyd to rise and sheathe his sword. All the while, Lloyd didn't take his eyes off the protozoan, who pranced and tugged against Colette's strong grip. "He's missed you." Colette clarified, looking at Lloyd happily.

"So it seems," he muttered, dusting himself off as he watched Noishe. The protozoan stopped struggling, tilting his large head as his thick tail swished ecstatically behind him. "Why is he here?"

Colette looked at him strangely, frowning a bit. "What do you mean why is he here? He came here with Genis and Presea last time and he must have smelled you so he came back."

Lloyd settled his one hand on his sword hilt and studied Noishe for a moment, before reaching out with his other hand tentatively to rub the creature's large head. Noishe strained forward, pressing his muzzle into Lloyd's hand, nudging it and whining impatiently.

Colette released him and Noishe eagerly moved forward, leaping up, his large paws pressing against Lloyd's chest as he strained to lick him. Lloyd staggered a little, but managed to remain standing. "Noishe, get down," he growled firmly, pushing the protozoan down.

Noishe whined and fell back down, head lowering, though his large tail continued to swing. Lloyd frowned and then looked at Colette, who had picked up the plate. "Don't be so hard on him, Lloyd. He's just excited."

Lloyd just brushed the dirt from his vest and strode past Noishe, stepping across the stream. "He knows better."

Colette just shook her head and turned heading back to the house. As Lloyd followed, Noishe padded next to him, pressing his large form against Lloyd's legs, walking as close as he could. Lloyd attempted to ignore this, but it was irritating as it made him stagger in his stride whenever Noishe bumped into him. But Lloyd forced himself from snapping at Noishe to move away. Colette was right, it was unfair to scold Noishe when the protozoan was merely showing appreciation for his owner's return.

When they reached the house, Noishe insisted on coming in with Lloyd, refusing to leave his side. Colette didn't seem to mind, despite Noishe's size being far too large to be allowed indoors. Lloyd seated himself as Noishe curled happily around the base of the chair, his large tail dusting across the floorboards. Colette dropped the plate in the basin along with the other dirty bowls and walked over. She smiled softly and crouched to rub Noishe's head. Lloyd watched quietly, nostalgia swimming over him. Noishe licked her hand, whining and she giggled as he thumped his tail.

"It seems I'm not the only one he's missed." Lloyd's gaze followed her as she stood and pulled a chair out.

"This is only the second time I've seen him in a while." Colette smoothed her shirt absently. "Genis has been taking care of him since we separated."

Lloyd glanced down at Noishe, who was sniffing at his leg, broad ears alert and interested. "Yet he's returned to me. It seems wrong that he should."

Colette frowned, puzzled. "Why would you say that? Noishe is your pet and friend. Why wouldn't he come back to see you?"

"He _was_ my pet, Colette. I don't think it's fair to retain that ownership after so many years of neglect." Noishe lifted his head and looked at him with hard eyes, growling softly.

"He's still your friend, Lloyd. Noishe wouldn't forget that, no matter how long you've been away." She was angry. Lloyd sighed and closed his eyes. "Do you think everyone just forgot about you when you were taken?"

"They believe me dead." He frowned, eyes opening slowly. "It was seven years; I'm not vain. I know that I was probably the last thing on their minds in the past years..." Lloyd trailed off when he noticed Colette's empty expression, her eyes staring straight at him. Anger, pain and desperation flickered in her eyes and he realized he had gone too far.

"And what about me?" Colette asked flatly. "What has been on my mind all these years?"

Lloyd said nothing, just met her gaze until she looked away, hands clenching in her lap. "Forgive me—" he started.

"I was frightened, Lloyd." Her voice was low, nearly a whisper. She turned back to him, her eyes cleared from emotion, but distant. "Some days all I wanted was for you to be back, to be there beside me as I hid..."

* * *

_"Lloyd." Her soft whimper muffled by the clamour beyond the walls._

_The darkness suffocated her. Thin streams of light filtered through the floorboards, dust dancing through the beams. She focused on him, imagining him crouched beside her, cursing the Desians and telling her not to worry. Colette tried in vain to shut out the screams and shouts slipping into the crawlspace she was hiding. The smell of smoke made her gag and her throat burned from holding back coughs. She could faintly taste the acrid air and feel the heat from outside. Sand, blown in from the desert streets irritated her skin and scratched loudly on the ground whenever she moved. _

_She wanted to shut it away. The screams, cries for help and abrupt silences that followed, the crackle and snapping of fire and crash as the buildings collapsed. _

_Triet was dying and it was because of her. _

_She buried her head into her arms, her entire body shaking as she heard a child cry for its mother. Colette's hands flinched, wanting to let them fly up to ears, to shut out the sounds, but she couldn't, not when it was her fault. And it was her fault..._

_"Lloyd, where are you?" she choked out softly, holding back tears. _

_He was gone and she knew it. Vanished for nearly four years now, but those facts didn't faze her. She needed him, she wanted him here, just to hear his voice. She felt so alone, so helpless—_

_She blinked away tears as dust and sand showered over her as someone ran across the floor above her. Her heart thundered in her ears and she strained to listen. Was it the merchant that had helped her? Were the Desians gone now? She waited, but the person was gone and coldness crept back into her, chasing the hope away. _

_Her hand slid over and clutched the necklace around her neck, the one fastened to her Cruxis Crystal as her key-crest. Her birthday present from Lloyd. _

_Tears blinded her, blurring the dim darkness. Lloyd would have fought. He would have shouted and stood against the Desians, preventing this massacre. She could almost hear his voice, arguing against the Desians' limp logic and authority, defending the citizens. So why did she cower here in the shadows and darkness? Lloyd would have fought and urged others to do the same, to fight for their lives. _

_Her fingers dug into her arms. But she wasn't Lloyd, she wasn't as brave as him. She couldn't stand and fight alone. She couldn't stand and make people follow her after she had betrayed all of them. The Desians were after her and only her; Triet was just an obstacle for the Desians. If they got their hands on her, Colette knew that she would have failed Lloyd and everything he had done to keep her from Cruxis' hands. So she hid and waited, blaming herself._

_"I'm sorry," she whispered to the screaming people and Lloyd, silently crying. "I'm sorry."_

_Lloyd would have scolded her for thinking that and she nearly laughed through her tears; choking and covering her mouth. She could imagine him, frowning at her and admonishing her, telling her it's not her fault, to not apologize._

'We all did this, Colette. But we'll fix it, okay; I won't let them get away with this.'_ His voice echoed in her mind, full of determination and insistence. She shook her head. But they would get away with it. There was no one here but Colette, the failed Chosen, the reason why the Desians were here. _

_Everything came back to being her fault. And she didn't mean just the attack...because of her, Lloyd followed her on the Journey of Regeneration and he got involved with Cruxis and the Renegades. Because of her, Lloyd stopped Cruxis from taking her. Because of her, they fled to Tethe'alla to get her soul back. And, because she woke up, Lloyd was taken in her place on the Fooji Mountain. Because of—_

"_Because of me, you're gone," she choked out quietly. "It's all my fault. I'm sorry, Lloyd." _

_Colette could still see the expression on Lloyd's face when he heard her shout his name, when she had regained her soul. He had smiled and called to her seconds before he vanished with Kratos and Yuan. She buried her face into her arms again. _

_There were so many times when Colette almost returned to the Tower of Salvation, thinking that if she traded herself for Lloyd, they'd let him go. But how could she do that? Lloyd would never forgive her if she did that. Not after he had already told her to never sacrifice herself, not after he had already stopped her from doing it before. She had tried to convince the others to go with her and rescue him. But there was never an opportunity to figure out how. Every time they travelled anywhere, Desians or angels appeared and they were forced to fight and flee. Their group was too noticeable and Colette knew that they were targeting her, so they split up._

_Colette lifted her head, realizing it had gone quiet outside. She tilted her head, listening carefully. She knew better than to try and leave yet. _

_Her hand tightened around the necklace and she lowered her head, brushing aside dusty tears with her other hand. She missed him. At times like this, she missed him so much it was painful. She never had the chance to explain her reasons for sacrificing herself at the Tower of Salvation nor in the weeks after, travelling with him in her soulless state. Unable to talk, unable to react to anything he said. She wanted to apologize, to tell him she was sorry, and to tell him to stop blaming himself. Then, on the mountain, when she finally had a voice, when she could finally say the words that she had saved all that time..._

_Colette shook head helplessly. She couldn't even tell him how much he meant to her, how much she cared about him. Her fingers loosened on the chain, her thumb brushing against the metal. She frowned, turning her eyes upward as she heard footsteps above. _

_Fear clutched her heart and her hands slid behind her to her chakrams. Colette watched the trapdoor fearfully, but determined and prepared to attack if she had to. She had made a promise to Lloyd that day. She promised that she would fight and never give in. That she would find a way to bring him back without giving herself up. She would wait for him and when he returned, she would tell him everything. Tell him how much he means to her and all their friends and how sorry she was. _

_The trap door shuddered and then opened up. Silence followed before a voice whispered down to her. "Chosen One?"_

_Colette relaxed slightly, and cautiously slid her way over to the trapdoor. A weathered face stared down at her, an elderly man's face, sheen with sweat and blood. Relief flooded his face and he reached down with a hand. "I'm glad you are safe, they are gone now."_

_She nodded, but she remained crouched for a moment longer, listening for any signs of someone else breathing before accepting his hand. Blinking from the light, she quickly pulled herself up, eyes darting around warily. The old man had leaned back, heaving with exhaustion. After a moment, she kneeled down beside him and took his hand. "Thank you."_

_He smiled, a few teeth missing from it. "It would shame me not to offer a young lady shelter, never mind the Chosen."_

_Colette bowed her head. "I failed though and the attack is my fault and—"_

"_Hush, young lass." He tapped her hand gently. "I did what I believe was right and that's all. But if it is all the same, you should leave before they decide to come back and check again." _

"_But the city—"_

"_Will be just fine." His eyes crinkled up as he smiled sadly. "I know many will blame you, so it's better if you just leave. Otherwise they might see it fit to hand you over themselves." _

_Colette nodded slowly. It was true. Most of the people shunned her as failed Chosen. She longed to stay and help them recover from the attack; it was something Lloyd would have done. She frowned suddenly, at the thought and then shook her head determinedly. "No, I'm not leaving yet. I did this so I have to help fix it."_

_The old man sighed, but didn't objected. Colette helped him to his feet and then turned gazing out the window. Smoke drifted through the air and she saw people already moving around the raided city. She turned her gaze higher and looked out on the clear blue sky and furrowed her brow determinedly. Maybe she couldn't fight Cruxis and bring Lloyd back wherever he was right away, but she prayed one day she would get to see him again._

* * *

"And though you weren't there with me, I knew you were still alive somewhere." Colette finished, looking at him. "There were so many times when I just wanted to give up and all I had to do was think of you and I kept going, even though it hurt."

Colette couldn't tell what was going through Lloyd's mind. The way he stared at her, his eyes almost glazed over as if he wasn't even looking at her, but at something he was envisioning. "I was alone for a long time, Lloyd. Just like you, I chose to be alone through it. Raine and the others offered to travel with me, but I told them not to." He blinked, focusing on her, as if that fact confused him. "I didn't want to endanger them, just like you didn't want to endanger us."

Lloyd frowned at the comparison. "It is not the same, Colette. You were forced to separate and travel alone. I chose—"

"You were forced as well, Lloyd." She cut him off firmly. "You pretend and brush it off, saying that you were the one who chose to stay in Cruxis, but in the end, you are a prisoner there. You said yourself you can't leave and I understand that."

She waited for his retort, expecting one, but strangely he only frowned and shook his head. "I put you through hell, Colette. I left you alone, I—"

"Stop it, Lloyd!" she snapped and he cut off instantly, not looking at her. "I don't want your apologies and you don't want mine. That is just a memory now, something that I went through and remember, but I moved on." She sighed and rose from her chair and walked over to him.

Noishe raised his head as she kneeled beside Lloyd's chair and turned his face towards her. She knew he would blame himself for this, just like he blamed himself for everything, but she believed he had a right to know. She wanted him to know he wasn't the only one that went through that, that she did understand his pain.

He met her gaze, his dark brown eyes searching her face, then he leaned down and pulled her toward him, hugging her tightly. He didn't say anything and Colette sighed in relief knowing that he understood. His fingers gripped her shoulders tightly and she felt him tremble slightly. She hugged him in response, rubbing his back gently. He buried his face against her neck. He was still struggling not to let it show, but Colette could feel how terrified he had been and the shock of realizing that he had someone to share this pain with, this understanding.

Colette closed her eyes happily, tears slipping from her eyes as she leaned her head against his. She still had others to comfort her, to listen to her fears. Lloyd had his father, but she didn't know how much Lloyd actually had confided in him and how much he kept bottled inside him. Lloyd needed her just as much as she needed him. They needed each other.

Lloyd inhaled sharply and then pulled back, his hands still holding her firmly. His eyes were filled with uncertainty and it looked as if he was struggling with his words.

"Colette, I know you don't wish for an apology, but I..." he trailed off as she put her hand to his mouth, looking at him with a smile.

"I know you are sorry and I am too. Neither of us can change what happened. I just want you to know that I am here, that I get it and that we are in this together. You don't have to prove yourself to me. I'm not leaving you; I'm not going to push you away. I never want to lose you again." She gave a bitter laugh and looked down. "I've become selfish in this..."

Lloyd shook his head and lowered it, so he could meet her eye. "Then I am as well."

She glanced up at him, smiling timidly.

"I love you, Colette," he whispered softly, the words coming much easier than the first time. More certainty.

Colette's smile widened and she leaned towards him. "I know," she answered. "I do too."

She kissed him softly and felt him tense up before he returned it, holding her close as Noishe thumped his tail on the floor.

**Please Review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Listening to **Our Solemn Hour by Within Temptation. **Describes the scene and is definitely one of my favorites. On a happy note, done university until the beginning of January. And no exams. I'm spoiled this year. Anyway, thanks everyone for reading and reviewing! As always I appreciate it! Enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 12:**

Lloyd planned to leave the next day, early in the morning before the sun was even up. Colette woke as he stirred in the room and caught him writing a note. She had nearly shouted out when he hushed her with a wave of his hand and got up, crumpling the paper. "I did not wish you wake you." He stepped next to the bed. "I must leave again and mark the position of the Desians. This way you won't need to leave right away."

He was allowing her to prolong leaving Iselia Colette realized and smiled. "Lloyd, you don't have to—"

"I know, but this is a task that I can perform for you and not fail." He slowly returned the smile, though it stayed for only a few seconds before he turned his face aside. "Besides, I still need to show my presence elsewhere for the time being."

Colette sighed, but nodded. "I understand."

He touched her shoulder lightly and then turned and lifted his vest off the chair, sliding his arms through. "I'll be back later this afternoon. I'm sure you will be preoccupied with your friends as they will most likely be searching for Noishe."

Ignoring the fact he had isolated the others as simply her friends, Colette watched as he opened the door, glanced over his shoulder once and then left. She sighed again and rubbed her eyes tiredly as she listened to Noishe bark loudly, obviously upset Lloyd was leaving. She laid back down, pulling the warm covers around her shoulders, staring at the door, lost in her thoughts.

Would it always be like this? Lloyd always leaving and returning? Their life a secret to Cruxis, the Desians...and even their friends? It had been a little over a month since he had returned, and his leaving never got easier. She bit her lip, eyes closing as she started to drift off again, still a few hours before the sun would rise. She knew that it would be like this, it was important to keep their friends at an arm's length because to explain things would become extremely complicated and Colette wasn't sure if Lloyd was ready. But perhaps it was time they knew. Perhaps, they could help...her last thoughts as she fell asleep.

However, just after dawn, she woke again and the thoughts came rushing back. As she got dress and descended the stairs, Colette pondered over the possibility of convincing Lloyd to tell the others he was still alive and maybe let them actually see him again. Genis would be ecstatic, she thought smiling. Compared to everyone else, Genis had been the one of the last to finally believe he was probably dead, save for Colette. It had torn the young half-elf apart and unlike Colette, Genis wasn't able to hide his anguish. He missed his best friend horribly and Colette was having trouble seeing Lloyd's reasoning for avoiding their friends.

She frowned as she rummaged through the cupboard, pulling out a bag of oatmeal and a pot. She tried to look at it from Lloyd's point of view, recalling things he had said repeatedly. Lloyd believed he had changed and Colette couldn't deny he had, but all of them had gone through different transitions. It was part of maturing. Lloyd also said it was just easier this way, to leave them in the dark and keep believing he was dead. He argued it was to protect them, but she had trouble believing that. Protect them from what? Cruxis was already after them. In the end, it could only mean Lloyd was afraid. But afraid of what?

She watched the pot, waiting for the water to boil as she fumbled for an answer. It was possible he truly believed himself dangerous, but if that were the case, he wouldn't stay with her, regardless of her threats to go to Cruxis herself. She tapped her fingers against the counter, when suddenly it hit her and her hand froze. Their reactions.

She sighed and brushed her bangs back, letting them fall back to shade her eyes. Even though Colette knew that Lloyd still had a part of his old self in him, it was extremely hard to see. She realized he believed that it was no longer him, his words ringing in her head:

'He's gone...I can't be that Lloyd anymore...I can't go back and change things...you are better off not knowing this one.'

"Better off not knowing..." she mumbled, looking down at the now boiling water. She sighed and grabbed the oatmeal bag, pouring it into water and sliding the pot from the stove as she stirred it. Lloyd had figured it out, realized that if he ever did come back...he would be a stranger. Just as Colette almost didn't recognize him that day he tried to take her, none of their friends would either. They would see a Cruxian angel, an enemy, a traitor.

She knew they would be happy when they first see him, but it would only take seconds for Raine to notice his different behaviour. She would observe the way he distanced himself from them, the way he watched them with indifference rather than joy. Sheena would become annoyed, both irritated and curious why he was acting strange, why he wasn't glad to see them. It wouldn't take her long to realize, to recognize the similarities in how Kratos had betrayed them in the Tower of Salvation.

Zelos and Presea, though they never knew him nearly as long would realize something was off. Zelos' first impression of Lloyd was definitely not how Lloyd would act now. And Presea had heard stories from all of them. No, they would realize it quickly.

Genis would be last, Colette thought sadly. She scooped the mushy oatmeal into a bowl, carrying it to the table, her stomach churning, most likely from hunger. Genis wouldn't notice the small things. Not at first. And even when he did, he would deny it. He'd keep on denying it until Lloyd would finally break his silence and admit his ties to Cruxis. It was that Lloyd wanted to avoid. He wanted them all to remember him as their friend, not an enemy.

She leaned back in the chair, watching the steam rise from the gray mush. Her stomach twisted anxiously.

But if he could just explain himself, tell them what he told her then they would see him. They would see their friend.

Colette shook her head in exasperation, the queasiness in her stomach intensifying and she decided that perhaps she should wait and discuss it with Lloyd when he got back later. She leaned forward to start eating when the nausea grew worse for a moment. She stopped, her spoon half raised. She swallowed a couple of times, hoping it would pass. She waited a couple of seconds her stomach calmed. She ate slowly and gradually a little quicker.

She chided herself as she stirred the gray paste in her bowl, trying to smooth the lumps as it congealed together. Worrying herself sick wasn't going to benefit anything—

Nausea rose up again, her stomach churning as she went to take another bite.

Colette froze, then slowly dropped the spoon and pushed the chair back. She laid a hand gently on her chest, anticipating the nausea rising and settling in her throat, hoping it would settle—

She lurched and then covered her mouth, quickly rushing over to the waste pail again, just making it.

Again, like the day before she supported herself against the countered, breathing deeply, shuddering a bit at the volatile taste in her mouth. She found a cup and rinsed the sour taste from her mouth. She frowned after. This was the second time she was sick. She wondered briefly if it was a type of influenza, but dismissed it as she didn't have any of the other symptoms and it wasn't as if she was nauseous all day. So far, it was just in the morn—

Colette stiffened, her eyes wide for a split second, before she shook her head quickly. No it couldn't be. It was foolish to even let it cross her mind...yet...

Her hands gripped the counter tightly, her knuckles turning white as she went through the facts over and over in her head. She trembled and covered her mouth with one hand, staring blankly across the room as she realized the startling truth. That it was entirely possible that she was...

Colette snapped out of her daze, rushed to the door, and grabbed her boots, pulling them on as she yanked the door open and hurried outside. Noishe's head rose and he whined anxiously, but Colette just ran for the path that led to Iselia. She needed to find Raine.

Caution fled her mind as she hurried to the village, though not so much as she remembered to check for her charkams as she ran. They were there, strapped around her waist since she had gotten dressed. With that reassurance, she hastened her pace. She managed to avoid confrontation from both Desians and monsters and reached the village gate out of breath. The guards were surprised to see her, but she moved pass them before they could even ask what was wrong.

She forced herself to slow down to a quick walk, realizing she was drawing unwanted attention from the villagers. Colette hesitated halfway to the Sages' old home. She didn't know whether they still occupied the rebuilt house or not since neither of them lived in Iselia permanently anymore. She slowed and glanced around, helplessly, but then continued towards it. She had to check to be sure.

A heavy sigh escaped her as she neared the building. Presea sat outside sharpening her axe methodically. The young woman's head lifted as Colette neared and a look of surprised flickered across Presea's face. "Colette?"

Colette hurried up to her, smiling. "Good morning, Presea." She glanced at the house. "Is Raine—"

"Colette? What are you doing here?" Genis emerged from the house, his wiry frame filling the doorway. A lopsided grin filled his face as he strode over and smiled at her. "I thought you weren't suppose to come to the village—wait," his eyes widened. "Is something wrong? Did the Desians find you?"

Frowning, Colette shook her head. "Of course not. I wouldn't enter the village if they had. That's dangerous for everyone living here."

Genis ducked his head, slightly embarrassed. "Oh, right. But then why are you here?"

Presea set aside her sharpening stone, leaning the axe against the stool she was sitting on and stood. "She is looking for, Raine." Her gaze shifted to Colette. "I'm afraid she left a couple days ago for Triet."

Colette's stomach sank. She tried not to show her distress. "Oh, that's too bad. I was hoping to talk to her."

Genis rubbed his chin thoughtfully, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "Well, she'll probably be back in about week. She said she had something important to do in the area. Why? What were you going to ask her? Perhaps we can help you."

Fidgeting, Colette shook her head. "No, it's alright. I'll wait until she gets back. It's-it's not that important."

Presea looked at her carefully, but Genis took her attention when he snapped his fingers. "Hey, since you came all the way over here, why don't you stay for lunch? I can whip something up early."

Colette hesitated, biting her lip and glancing over her shoulder. "I should probably head back. I was careless coming here like that and—"

Scoffing, Genis rolled his eyes and frowned. "Come on, Colette. It's not fair that you should be stuck up at that old house all alone. I mean you are here anyway, so you might as well stay a little while."

"But—"

"No, buts." Genis put an arm around her shoulder and steered her towards the house. "I want to spend as much time as I can with you before you go and disappear on us again."

Colette smiled weakly, but she noticed that his tone revealed how serious he was, despite his smile. He missed her and she didn't blame him. It was weird seeing Genis pretend like this, though.

Presea followed them silently, bringing her axe with her as they entered the small house. Colette hadn't been inside for years since they had rebuilt it. Her eyes widened slightly as she entered and saw the chaos.

The table was layered in books and papers that lay spread open across the entire surface. Even some of the chairs were stacked precariously with texts. Two small beds and a strung out cot situated in the far corner of the house and adjacent to that was a small cook stove. The shelves and cupboards were covered with cooking components and dishes, neatly cluttering the area.

"I apologize for the mess." Presea sighed slightly. "But I find it difficult to keep up with Genis sometimes and usually wait until he falls asleep before I tidy the room." She leaned the axe against the wall and proceeded to close some of the open books on the table.

"Hey! Don't lose those pages! I was just about to study the construction of the biological make-up in monster plants—"

"I placed a slip of paper to mark your page." Presea cut him off calmly, still gathering the books.

Genis pouted and waved a hand at her, striding over. "I don't see why you have to close them all. I'll just have to dig through and try to remember which book I was reading."

"Genis. Why don't you go and plan something for lunch and let me clean up." Presea gave him a side-glance, which caused him to flush slightly, muttering under his breath as he sulked over to the stove. "Just don't mess up my notes." He called back.

Presea just smiled. Colette glanced between them, before walking over to help her. "Wow, I didn't realize he gets so touchy about his books."

"He's really dedicated to his studies," Presea answered, sliding the books to one corner as she gathered the loose papers. "He really wants to complete his courses in the Palmacosta Academy. Though, I think a lot of it is personal interest and curiosity for him as well."

Colette thought she heard something of amusement in the girl's voice and looked over at Genis. "I guess he took after Raine more than he realizes."

"Perhaps." Presea straightened, setting the papers in a neat pile next to the books. "However, it keeps him preoccupied so he doesn't have to think."

Confused, Colette looked back at her. "Think about what?"

Presea just looked at her and Colette knew the answer. Presea, brushed her ponytail from her shoulder and motioned for Colette to sit. "He feels just as guilty as you do for not being able to help him. It's difficult for me to understand his pain because I did not know Lloyd as well as you did, but I can see it."

Colette nodded, but said nothing. Anything she would say would be a lie. Presea seemed to sense her discomfort and changed to the subject to a general topic. Genis joined them between checking on the food and Colette found she was enjoying herself.

She informed Genis that Noishe had ended up at the clearing with her. Genis swore at the protozoan's flighty behaviour, which earned him a displeased look from Presea. He apologized, flushing and Colette laughed. They talked for hours, telling Presea old stories about their childhood. Lloyd ended up being the humour in most of the tales, but it was a nostalgic feeling for Genis and Colette rather than bitterness. Presea even laughed at Lloyd's antics in class with Raine.

The day was drawing on and Colette realized she had stayed much longer than she had intended, remembering that Lloyd said he would be returning that afternoon. "It's getting rather late. I should probably head back." She was worried that he would miss her and become concern. She had left in a rush and she feared he would overreact and assume she was taken.

Genis' face fell and then he stood. "Well, would you want to walk around the village first? You know for old time sake. We can circle it and leave you at the entrance." He grinned hopefully and Colette didn't have the heart to reject it. If she had to run again soon, she should spend as much time as she could with the two of them. She smiled and nodded and he practically bounded out of his chair. "Great!"

Presea stood and followed him to the door, reaching for her axe as she did so. Genis also grabbed his weapon as well. It was similar to a spear, though it obvious that Genis had made a few modifications to it. The spearhead was much longer and clearly very sharp and thin. It was made to slash and keep enemies at a distance when he was casting spells. The shaft was polish and extremely smooth with a two cloth bindings as grips for his hands. It was hard to imagine such a long weapon would end up in Genis' hands, but it seemed to fit his taller form now and he had long forsaken his little kendama.

The weapons would be extremely noticeable within a town, but Colette understood why they took them. It was the same reason she never went anywhere without her charkams. None of them went anywhere without a weapon. Even for a stroll around the town. Even so, Colette couldn't help but feel the stares from the other villagers as they left the house. Genis and Presea seemed oblivious to them, but perhaps they had simply grown use to it.

They walked slowly, heading up the path towards the schoolyard and slowly Colette managed to relax. Genis' free hand waved around, exaggerating his story about how Iselia had completely renovated the school and even fixed the hole in the wall she had made. Colette smiled and nodded, but she had already heard this news from Raine.

Thinking about her old teacher made Colette anxious again, her hand unconsciously drifting to her abdomen. Uncertainty and fear coursed through her as the prospect of her being—

"Hey, what's that?" Genis cut through her thoughts, pointing up at the sky. They were in front of the school now and Colette shaded her eyes, trying to locate what Genis saw. They were oddly shaped, but she could make the distinct shape of bird-like wings...

Presea slowly gripped her axe. "I think we should leave the village. I have a bad feeling about this."

Genis frowned, looking anxiously at her. "You know what it is? Maybe it's just a monster..." Colette's hand shot down and grabbed his arm, startling him. "Hey, what's—"

Colette stared at him fearfully. "They are angels!"

Genis' eyes widened instantly and he grabbed her wrist, whipping her around as he started to run back down the path. "We have to get you out of here! They can't find you, Colette!"

Flashbacks of that day in Triet flared across her mind and she jerked her arm free, knocking Genis off balance. "No! I won't run and hide. They'll kill the villagers!" Spinning around, ignoring Genis' calls she rushed back towards he school. Perhaps if she could get their attention and lead them outside the village then—

Colette barely made it past the school when the first angel descended before the northern gate, a woman dressed in black armour. Colette never slowed as her hands flew behind her and unclipped her charkams, rushing the angel. It stared at her blankly as it raised its swords. "Chosen One, you will surrender."

The charkam whipped from Colette's hand and sped towards the angel, slicing through one cheek and the across the top of the wing. The angel barely flinched, but the injured wing faltered causing the woman to tilt slightly. Colette wasted no time and hurried forward, slashing at the angel's torso as her hand shot up to catch the returning first charkam.

Sparks as her weapon scraped across the armour and Colette realized it wasn't simple leather, but metal. She spun out of the way, as the angel thrust at her, only to find three more had landed around her, encircling her. She barely had time to think when one angel was slammed aside, Presea's axe, easily slashing through the metal and the angel grunted in shock.

Colette turned her attention then to the ones before her just as a wind spell snared one of them, cutting their unprotected skin. She saw Genis from the corner of her eye, rushing forward, slamming his spear into the injured angel. Colette lunged at one herself, slashing at woman's throat. The angel fell back, as the blood splattered onto Colette, the warm liquid staining her skin and clothes, but she barely noticed. More angels were coming; over a dozen were landing into the village.

Villagers screamed in fear and rushed to their houses, calling for the militiamen, others begging the Goddess Martel for forgiveness. Colette breathed heavily, rushing over to help Genis and Presea, who the angels were showing little mercy since they weren't who the angels wanted. They wanted her, the Chosen One. However, they were coming down too quickly and Colette found herself blocked off from her friends. Frantic, she was about to rush forward when a hand clamped around her arm and jerked her back. Colette's eyes widened as she stumbled backwards and landed on the ground a few feet away. She snapped her eyes to her assailant only to have her mouth fall open in shock. "Lloyd!"

* * *

Russet eyes narrowed dangerously on the collection of angels that stared back at him. They faltered as they saw him. He knew they recognized him and he was planning to use that to his advantage. He didn't bother waiting as one flew forward, clearly the commander of the group. "Lord Aurion, we did not—"

Lloyd's sword flashed in the sunlight as he stepped past the angel, the commander's head rolling off the angel's shoulders before the body collapsed. The angels did not react immediately and Lloyd didn't hesitate. His sword flashed again, this time severing an entire wing and the victimized angel started to fall. Lloyd's second sword appeared in his hand and thrust up into the falling angel's chest, twisting his arm to the side, throwing the corpse to the ground.

Anger boiled through him though his face betrayed nothing of it. His eyes flashed, as he slashed another angel across the chest, his sword cutting through the armour as if it was nothing but air. The angel cried out, but Lloyd merely turned and thrust his blade into its chest. Angels finally reacted, finally determining him as a threat and rushed to attack him. Lloyd saw them abandoning Presea and Genis in order to deal with him, but the fact fled his mind just as quickly. His eyes narrowed and he rushed forward as the angels approached. Blood splattered as Lloyd's sword tore through wings, flesh and bone. He moved with deliberateness, every action precise and effective. Disgust and loathing fuelled the intensity of his attacks on the mindless bodies that practically awaited his blade. He slipped beneath their pathetic lunges and thrusts, slamming his blades into their bodies and ripping them out again. He caught the eyes of one as it fell, but there was no life in them to watch fade.

Lloyd frowned as he slashed the wrist of one approaching from behind, the limp hand dropping the sword and he slid his own blade easily into its stomach before twisting to the side with his second blade to slit another's throat. He was aware of the eyes on him, but it wasn't until he stabbed the final angel that he actually realized what he had done.

His breathing was slightly laboured, but it was simply necessary to calm his nerves. He hadn't thought his actions through clearly and had allowed his anger to control him. Yet, seeing Colette amid the angels had left him little choice and he had thrown caution to the wind and acted instinctively. He was regretting it now.

Shifting both blades to one hand he pulled a cleaning cloth from a pocket and proceeded to wipe off his blades, he was aware the crimson stains on his own clothes, but knew it would have to be dealt with later.

It seemed nearly an eternity as he wiped his swords clean, yet logic told him it was merely seconds. He knew he was prolonging the moment when he would have to face his consequences and meet the shocked eyes of those that bore into him now, and yet, he still hesitated.

He sheathed his swords, tossing the cloth to the side and shifted his eyes to Colette first. She was standing again, charkams hanging from her fingers as she stared at him in both surprise and relief. He was pleased she was unharmed; though, he felt a twinge of irritation towards her, despite his previous concern, for her irrational behaviour by entering the village.

Yet he was distracted even from that as from the corner of his eye he could discern the teenage boy that stared at him suspiciously.

"Who are you?" Genis asked.

Lloyd closed his eyes for a second before focusing on his former best friend. Regret and guilt clawed at his insides as he stared at Genis, taking in the wiry frame and narrow features. It was as if someone had stretched the boy out and never bothered filling him in. The amusing thought eased the pain slightly, until Colette rushed over and spoke his name and he watched Genis' expression change. Lloyd forced his gaze away.

"Lloyd! I'm so sorry! I didn't think they knew where I was—"

"Of course you didn't think, otherwise you wouldn't be here in the first place." His irritation flared once more, but he allowed her to embrace him, knowing she had been afraid. "You'll need to leave—"

"Lloyd...?" Genis' voice interrupted his own. "But that's impossible, you can't be—"

Colette pulled back and turned towards Genis. "Genis, it is him. It's really, Lloyd." She looked back at Lloyd, waiting for him to confirm it for her, but he said nothing. His eyes lifted to Genis' face just in time to see the young man's eyes widen in shock and disbelief.

"You mean it's really—Lloyd, is that really you? Where have you been? Colette, how did you know—?"

Lloyd frowned and glanced at the corpses of the angels and then over to where villagers were starting to gather, curious about what had happened. "There isn't time for this. Cruxis will be expecting a report from this group soon and will grow suspicious when they do not return."

Genis' mouth closed, confusion filling his face as he walked towards them. "Wait, what? Lloyd, is that really you? Why are you talking like that? What's this about Cruxis?" Lloyd noticed the young woman, Presea, was just a step behind Genis, but she had a strong grip on her axe, her eyes watching him carefully. Lloyd forced himself to turn his attention back to Colette.

"I want you to return to the house and stay there until I return, understand?" Lloyd hardened his voice and saw indecision in Colette's face as she looked over at Genis. Lloyd scowled with impatience and grabbed her arm. "Colette, tell me you understand!"

Surprise filled her face at the tone of his voice and Genis' confusion erupted into rage and rushed forward. "Hey! What the hell are you doing? Why are you yelling at her? And why are you ignoring me?" Genis was shouting and he made to cut between Lloyd and Colette, but Lloyd already released Colette's arm and stepped back.

"Colette, go back to the house and wait for me." Lloyd repeated.

"Lloyd, can't you just..." she trailed off when she saw the frustration he was trying to hide on his face. She seemed to understand. Genis, didn't, but it was something that would have to wait until later. Right now, Colette's life was in danger, Lloyd had just slaughtered a regiment of angels and if he couldn't find a believable excuse and solution immediately then—

"Why won't you answer me? Where have you—? Hey! Don't turn your back on me! Lloyd, what the hell is wrong—? " Genis grabbed his arm as Lloyd started to walk away.

Lloyd spun around and glared at Genis irritably, frustration flaring up. "I don't have time to deal with you right now. There are more important things."

Lloyd felt part of him freeze over as he watched Genis stumble back, fear and shock filling his best friend's face. Lloyd turned his eyes away quickly. "Go back to the house, Colette," he stated a final time as he walked away swiftly. He kept walking even when Genis erupted in anger, the hurt and rejection evident in his voice as he shouted at Lloyd's back.

"Lloyd, just talk to me! Please!"

Lloyd said nothing in return and neither did he turn around. He could image the pained look Genis would have as he released his wings. He paused for a moment, then warped back to Derris Kharlan. Genis' shouts ringing in his ears.

"You bastard!"

**Please Review**


	13. Chapter 13

**Listening to **Stand in the Rain by Superchick. **This song sort of relates to Colette in this chapter. Glad Freaky recommended it. I love it. Anyway, partying tonight with my friends, so decided to make sure I updated this early on Friday. Turning 19 on Saturday. I'm starting to feel old. Anyway, thanks everyone for reading and reviewing. I know everyone was eager for this next chapter. Enjoy. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 13:**

"What is the meaning of this?"

Colette lowered her eyes as the Mayor of Iselia shouted. People were gathered near the carnage. The bodies of the angels littered the ground, severed wings and limbs stained in blood at her feet. Presea walked up beside her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, but Colette just felt numb.

"This is an outrage! These-these were angelic beings! And you killed them!" The Mayor continued. "You have brought the wrath of the Goddess upon our village!" There was fear in his voice, but he was trying to mask it. Colette could understand his feelings. To the villagers, they had murdered holy beings, not enemies.

"You don't understand!" Genis pushed his way between Colette and the gray-haired man. "They were trying to kill Colette!"

Murmurs and whispered ran through the crowd and Colette could hear most of them.

"The Chosen failed...perhaps this is her punishment."

"Ran away from her duties, no doubt."

"We don't know for sure..."

Colette tried to tune them out and gently brushed off Presea's hand and moved Genis aside. She faced the Mayor. "I'm sorry—"

"Don't waste your apologies here, girl! What good will that do?" The man stepped toward her, pointing at finger. "This is all your fault! I knew we should never have welcomed you back into the village! You failed to regenerate this world and everywhere you go you bring misfortune with you!"

Her eyes squeezed shut, the screams from Triet echoing in her head. It was true, she did bring misfortune. Cruxis was after her and all she ever did was get others involved.

"You listen to me you pompous idiot!" Genis shoved the Mayor back. "Don't go saying stuff about Colette! You don't know what's really—"

"Close your mouth you half-elf!" the Mayor cut him off, turning on Genis. "You are fortunate we even revoked your banishment! It was only because Lloyd never came back and because of Raine's insistence that we did let you back in. We can always rectify that mistake!"

Genis faltered at the mention of Lloyd, his earlier shock returning. He started to stammer, but Colette pulled him back. "Genis, please, this is my fault. I don't want to drag you into this as well."

The Mayor turned back to her in disgust. "You are no longer welcomed here, Chosen, or whatever you are. Do not try to come back."

"You're banishing her! She did nothing wrong!" Genis started to move forward, fists clenched, but Presea grabbed his arm, holding him back. "You humans are despicable! Shoving the blame all on one person again!" He was struggling to hold back tears as the crowd slowly started to disperse. Most of them shook their heads, others muttering prayers anxiously as they cast backward glances at the angel corpses. Colette watched them all leave until there was only one left.

Frank stood alone on the road, staring at his daughter sadly and Colette bit her lip, her jaw quivering. His face was pale and, to Colette, he looked even more tired and frail than before. He started to walk towards her, then stopped, his eyes drifting to the bodies. Colette lowered her head in shame. "I'm so sorry, Father. I'm sorry."

Frank hesitated, then walked forward and pulled his daughter into a hug. Colette wrapped her arms around him tightly until he let go and gave her a kiss on the forehead, whispering. "Be careful." He tried to smile, but he was near tears and he lowered his head as well. "Write to me when you find somewhere safe..."

Colette nodded. She knew she wouldn't be able to write him that letter anytime soon and she believed he knew that as well. She wanted him to stay, but she knew that it would only hurt more. Colette swallowed down her pain as she watched her father slowly walked to their house.

Her chest constricted and she felt loose tears slide down her face, before dashing them away quickly. She turned around slowly, expecting to say farewell to Genis and Presea as well when she found Genis' cheeks stained with angry tears. He was shaking all over and it seemed only Presea's hand on his shoulder made him stay where he was. His expression frightened Colette and her eyes widened as he took a step toward her, staring her straight in the eyes. "G-Genis—"

"Tell me that bastard wasn't him. Tell me it wasn't, damn it!"

Colette opened her mouth to speak, but found she couldn't find the words. Rather it was Presea who stepped forward. As usual, she spoke calmly. "Come, we will talk at the house outside the village." Her eyes fastened on Colette and it was evident she was not allowing arguments.

Genis shrugged Presea's hand off and picked up his fallen spear, gripping it tightly. "Fine." He snapped and strode off towards the village entrance. Colette watched him leave and then noticed Presea watching her, waiting. Colette stared at her and then slowly followed Genis. Her feet felt like lead, every step seeming to drag at her. She was aware of the eyes that watched from the windows. Accusing, horrified, angered...She felt betrayed, misunderstood. She knew it was her fault, yet all these people she had grown up with, lived with since she was a child. All their hopes and dreams on her now vanished as they stared at her like a creature to be feared and despised—

Colette flinched suddenly. Was this how Lloyd felt when he was banished from Iselia all those years ago? This feeling of emptiness and pain? She reached up, her hand finding the necklace. Did he still feel it?

The walk back was long and silent. Genis refused to look at her, walking quite a few feet ahead of her, while Presea trailed behind. They were angry with her as well, Genis mostly. Colette understood the confusion Genis had to be feeling at the moment, having seen Lloyd. And the betrayal...

Colette frowned, annoyed and frustrated suddenly. Why had Lloyd acted so cold towards Genis? Why hadn't he even tried to explain or answer him? Why did he run off like that?

But even as Colette thought about it, she knew the answer and felt guilty for her anger. If Cruxis had sent angel soldiers to Iselia, it meant they knew Colette was there. But how was that possible? Lloyd had said they had until the end of the month before they would search this area and Cruxis sent angels only if they were certain that she was nearby. Lloyd left to figure out what was going on...he'd be back to explain things...

The pit of her stomach still churned uneasily from the fresh and painful memory of her banishment as well. The shock was wearing off and the only reason she didn't break down completely was because Genis and Presea were with her at the moment. She wished Lloyd was with her to help her through this, but the thought was selfish. Where was she when it happened to him? Just because he was alive, didn't mean she could just burden him with all her problems. Still, she thought desperately, it was just comforting to have him near.

They reached the clearing by mid-evening, the sun still peeking over the canopy, but casting long shadows from the trees. Noishe rose to greet them excitedly, rushing over, but Genis ignored him and threw down his spear, whirling to face Colette. "I can't take this anymore. Tell us what's going on? What the hell is wrong with Lloyd, if that is even him?"

Colette felt herself grow cold, her fingers numb and her chest heavy. She knew if she tried to defend Lloyd, Genis would not listen. However, she didn't know how much to tell them and how much to let Lloyd explain. She knew how Lloyd felt about revealing his experiences in Cruxis, how much it terrified Colette to hear them...

"Damn it, Colette! Don't you dare ignore me like _he _did!" Genis stepped toward her, face flushed. His voice cracked once and Colette slowly looked at him.

"I'm not ignoring you, Genis and neither did Lloyd. He didn't have time to—"

"Oh yeah, I forgot!" Genis spat, causing Colette to flinch. "He didn't have _time _to deal with me! He didn't have _time_ for his friends! It's been seven years and that's the first thing he says!"

"Genis, please, just listen to me!" Colette begged.

"How long have you known?" he shouted at her. "How long have you known he's alive?"

Presea walked over to him, frowning. "Genis, calm down. You are not—"

"You've been lying to us all this time? Why didn't he come see us? Damn it! Why didn't he come see me?" Genis shoved Presea's hand away and moved forward, grabbing Colette's shoulders. "What's wrong with him?"

Colette could only stare at Genis, horrified. She had never seen him so angry, at least never towards Lloyd. It frightened her to see Genis lose control like this, but hadn't she reacted in confusion and frustration when she first saw Lloyd, rushing after him in the woods?

She lifted her own hands to attempt to comfort him, but Genis ripped away from her, red-faced and accusing. "Answer me!"

"I've known for little over a month." Colette finally answered, watching him sadly.

Genis' anger gave way to shock, eyes widening. "A-A month?"

"He was afraid to go find you!" Colette added quickly. "He-he didn't want to cause you problems."

"Pr-Problems!" Genis snapped, but Presea touched his shoulder.

"What problems, Colette?" She asked quietly, but Colette knew Presea had probably figured it out.

Yet, Colette still hesitated. She didn't like how it would come out, but she couldn't think of another way of wording it. "Cruxis," she said quietly.

The silence lasted too long to her liking and her friends' eyes bore into her. She wanted to speak up and tell them it wasn't how it sounded, that he wasn't there because he chose it, but even in her mind, it sounded like excuses. She was hoping they would understand the truth on their own.

Unfortunately, they didn't.

"He's-he's one of them!" The accusation slithered out as a hiss and the contempt and anger radiated off Genis. "He-The wings-He's an angel of Cruxis now?"

Presea frowned, troubled. "I never thought he'd turn his back on everything so easily when he always urged us to continue fighting, perhaps there is an explanation..." She was more ashamed and disappointed rather than upset.

Still Colette couldn't let them think that about Lloyd! Not until they heard the full story from him! "Please, don't accuse him yet! Just hear him out! There is a reason why he's doing this!"

"Hear him out?" Genis stared at her. "Colette, you just said he's a Cruxian! If he had a choice to stay here, why the hell would he go back to Derris Kharlan unless he wanted to? Why didn't he explain things when we saw him in Iselia? He betrayed us!"

"Genis, don't say that! Lloyd will explain things when he gets back—" Colette tried to reason with him.

"_That_ was not, Lloyd, Colette!" Genis shouted at her, voice cracking. He pointed behind him as if Lloyd was standing there. "How could you say _that_ was Lloyd? How could you say _that_ was my best friend?"

"Because he is!" Colette raised her voice, hardening with her resolve, desperate to get through to Genis. "Just because he brushed you off, doesn't mean he isn't still Lloyd! How can you give up on him so quick—"

"We waited seven years, Colette! I waited for-for something to tell me what happened to him! And you're telling me that our friend is that cold-hearted bastard! Did you see what he did to those angels? The way he talked to you and completely ignored me? You are telling me _that_ was Lloyd?" Genis finally choked and turned away, brushing his hand over his eyes angrily to clear unwant tears. Presea moved closer to him, placing her hand comfortingly on his shoulder as she talked to him quietly.

Colette could only stare at him. She didn't know what to say. She tried to reason with herself that Genis was just upset, that the anger and pain would pass and yet, the cold continue to spread through her. She felt helpless. The banishment, the angels' attack, Lloyd's behaviour, Genis' reaction and the unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach of something not yet confirmed, but suspected nevertheless, was suffocating her.

Colette collapsed to her knees and wept into her hands.

* * *

Lord and subordinate stared at one another across the room, neither breaking contact nor the silence. Lloyd held his ground, not about to turn away, yet all the while his mind frantically analyzing his next step, scanning for loopholes, weighing the consequences and the risks of the ones that he knew existed. Proof? Lloyd could only offer his word on the situation. Possible witnesses? Unlikely Yggdrasill would consider the effort to check. If he did check? Convince him to send Kratos and confess to his father.

He refrained from grimacing at the last solution. To confess to his father was relying on Kratos being involved. It was unlikely that Kratos would inform Yggdrasill, but Lloyd was uncertain on how his father would think of the situation. It was best to keep that decision as a last resort...

"Explain again how an entire command of angels was slaughtered in retrieving one girl." Yggdrasill demanded darkly, his voice loud in the quiet.

Lloyd stiffened, hand gripping his sword sheath as he once again sorted through the information, meticulously choosing the proper wording. "On your orders, I returned to Iselia to report on the angels' absence. When I arrived at the village, the angels were deceased and the Chosen missing." He paused for a moment, but Yggdrasill's eyes narrowed dangerously so Lloyd continued. "I overheard that two of the Chosen's companions were present in the village that day, which I assume is the reason for the angels' death. There is also word among the villagers of the Chosen falling."

Yggdrasill stared at him, his features darkening. "What are you saying?"

Lloyd exhaled heavily, preparing himself for the reaction that was undeniably going to appear. "The humans were mourning the Chosen, my Lord. The Chosen is dead."

* * *

Russet eyes stared blankly at the empty, white-washed wall. He stood rigid before the wall, his fingers curled around the sheathe of his sword. He appeared as a statue, save for the slight tremor that shook his shoulders as Lloyd attempted to control his anger.

He should be glad; content with how easily it was to convince Yggdrasill that Colette was deceased and that worried him greatly. It was too easy. Much too easy. However, in addition to that, something that Lloyd never anticipated, Yggdrasill decided to reassigned Lloyd to another task immediately.

Lloyd thought back to the conversation. Yggdrasill's rage had been terrifying in itself, but it was mainly directed at the dead angels. Lloyd had carefully explained how the angels fatally injured the Chosen and she died shortly after. Yggdrasill had been enraged and nearly struck Lloyd down, before seeming to control himself. He questioned Lloyd briefly over the details of what happened, forcing Lloyd to conjure a series of conversations he'd overheard among the villagers. Lloyd emphasized greatly on how the villagers desperately prayed the new Chosen would reach her goal. This seemed to remind Yggdrasill that the young relative of Colette would now begin her training as the new Chosen. Yggdrasill absently passed Colette's death as an annoying setback and seemed to let it be. However, Lloyd knew Yggdrasill's curiosity would return to the subject at a later date. Lloyd would have to be careful. Even now Lloyd wondered if Yggdrasill really did believe his tale, or if he was just removing Lloyd from the assignment. Did Yggdrasill suspect Lloyd was lying?

In the end, Yggdrasill, though still extremely irritated by the series of events, excused Lloyd with his word that he would be reassigned. Yggdrasill admitted he was relatively pleased with Lloyd's skills and wanted him put to use elsewhere. Lloyd, though still suspicious, thanked Yggdrasill and left. It had been too easy.

Lloyd gritted his teeth, fist clenching still facing the wall. Being reassigned increased his suspicions. Was he being removed and given a new assignment to distract him? He didn't have time for this nonsense, rather he should be going back to Iselia to explain things to Colette. If she was seen by a Desian scout, then the entire ploy would fail. She'd want an explanation for the attack...not to mention, she had to deal with the other two...

His brow knotted as he thought about the situation he had left Colette. The village would be in an uproar no doubt and more than likely place the blame on Colette. Not to mention Genis' rather ill timed appearance. Colette would be asked questions she wouldn't be able to answer, which would more than likely only fuel Genis' rage.

Sighing heavily, Lloyd turned and strode over to his chair, sliding it back as he sat down exasperated. Genis' surprise and joy at seeing him had not eluded Lloyd. He had clearly seen and heard the half-elven boy's questions and excitement and it felt like a stab to the gut. And, Lloyd had also seen and heard the anger and confusion when he refused to speak to Genis. It had stung too.

He rubbed his face, mentally exhausted by the day's events. No doubt, he could have handled the situation better; however, Lloyd had been more concerned about saving their lives than exchanging pleasantries. Lloyd knew Genis would be furious with him and Lloyd found himself reluctant to face his old friend. Even if Colette managed to calm Genis, and explained the situation, he doubted Genis would accept it. He had seen Lloyd's wings, he had undeniably seen the change in Lloyd's personality and in the end, Lloyd was uncertain if he could even handle seeing his friend upset. In truth, Lloyd was afraid to face Genis at all.

Lloyd released another sigh just as the door to his room slid open. His gaze instantly snapped up and scowl creased his features. "I don't recall inviting you into my quarters."

"Considering I am your superior, I don't recall needing an invitation," Yuan replied, striding in, casting a surreptitious eye around the room.

Irritated, Lloyd glowered. "What do you want, Yuan?"

Yuan glanced at him, then walked over to the desk, using a finger to leaf through the small stacks of papers on Lloyd's desk. Yuan was baiting him, Lloyd knew, and as much as it annoyed him, Lloyd kept his mouth shut, waiting for Yuan's curiosity to reveal itself. Lloyd's silence tended to annoy Yuan more than arguing did anyway.

Finally the older man spoke. "I heard you failed your mission."

"I did not fail so much as it was interfered with," Lloyd rebuked under his breath, sliding his papers away from Yuan. "Yggdrasill sent those angels, not I."

"The Chosen died and as a result you could not retrieve her. I think that would classify under failure, wouldn't it?" Yuan turned his attention to Lloyd, smirking.

"I think you enjoy aggravating me," Lloyd stated.

"Yes, I do."

"It wasn't a question," Lloyd organized his files and placed them in a drawer out of Yuan's reach.

Yuan chuckled and half sat on the edge of the desk. "You are being reassigned to a new mission in a few days."

"So I've heard." Lloyd eyed him, biting back his desire to push the infuriating man off the desk.

"Do you know where?"

"I take it you do," Lloyd responded indifferently, though his curiosity rose. "It doesn't surprise me that you would discover this information before myself. Why else you would be here taunting me with it?" He leaned back in his seat, folding his arms. "It's pitiful when your life is reduced to petty guessing games with your underlings." Lloyd smirked as Yuan's eyebrows knotted, knowing the insult struck a nerve with the older man.

"You spend too much time with your father," Yuan scoffed, his humour vanishing as quickly as it came.

Lloyd chuckled. "More like I spend too much time with you."

"Well, then, unfortunately for both of us, I might be putting up with you much more than I'd like. You are being assigned to help on the Tethe'alla world," Yuan replied off-handily.

Lloyd stiffened, his eyes flashing angrily and he shoved his chair back, rising to his feet. "Tethe'alla? Why?"

"In my opinion, Yggdrasill wants to keep you out of trouble." In a flash, Yuan's amusement returned at Lloyd's irate reaction to the news. "However, perhaps it is something to do with all your escapades throughout Sylvarant."

"My mission was to locate and retrieve the Chosen," Lloyd growled. He knew he was feeding Yuan's enjoyment, but Lloyd was beyond caring at his point.

"Which you failed, I might remind you. Perhaps your late night enjoyments distracted you." Yuan was suddenly interested with an invisible dust spot on cape, but the conniving smirk was clear.

Lloyd blinked, caught off guard by the sudden change of topics. Late night enjoyments—Yuan still honestly believed Lloyd had been fooling around with women? Lloyd frowned. "Did you not you talk to my father about that matter? We both agreed that it seems your exaggeration is running away with you. I'm afraid to disappoint you, but you are mistaken."

Yuan studied him for a time before moving away from the desk. "I'm not as blind as your father, Lloyd. I know you are hiding something. Something to do with Sylvarant. Perhaps it was the Chosen, perhaps it was your little band of friends, or perhaps just women in general." His eyes narrowed. "But don't assume I haven't realized it. I wouldn't be surprised if Yggdrasill realized it too. Probably why he sent those angels."

Lloyd kept his nervousness in check and glared back at the half-elf. "I don't appreciate being accused, Yuan. I'm not the double agent in this organization, you are. Don't place me on your level."

Yuan raised an eyebrow at him and then turned heading for the door. "I don't. Not yet, anyway," he called over his shoulder before the door slid shut.

Staring at the closed door, Lloyd scowled and clenched his fists before using one hand to rub his face again. He glanced around his room absently before he quickly left. He needed to go back to Sylvarant. He located a female angel messenger and ordered her to inform Yggdrasill that Lloyd Aurion was performing a follow-up on the Chosen's death. The angel nodded and glided off. Lloyd hoped his honesty would keep Yggdrasill content and not question his depature later.

Lloyd turned to leave, but not before he noticed Kratos standing near one of the bridges, watching him. Lloyd hesitated, giving his father an invitation to move towards him. Holding back his impatience, Lloyd turned to face him. "You were eavesdropping."

"If you wish your conversations private, do not have them in public areas. I was just passing through." Kratos stopped in front of him.

Lloyd gave him a withering look. "Is Yggdrasill having you keep an eye on me?"

"Is there a reason he should?"

Huffing, Lloyd crossed his arms. "Hardly." He paused, then looked to the side. "I apologize; Yuan left me in an irritable mood. I wish he would mind his own business."

"So is that the reason you are returning to Sylvarant?" Kratos watched him expectantly and Lloyd glanced at him. "I hardly believe your excuse given to Yggdrasill. Something is upsetting you. Is it about Colette's death?"

"The Chosen." He reminded him. "And it's nothing I can't handle," Lloyd replied curtly, hoping to put the conversation to rest. "I just need to let off some steam. The air on Sylvarant clears my mind."

Kratos' frowned and Lloyd could tell he wasn't buying it. Setting his jaw Lloyd started to excuse himself and turned only to have Kratos catch his arm.

"Lloyd, you can talk to me. You know that right?" Kratos asked, concern flickering in his eyes.

Swallowing, Lloyd gently tugged his arm free. "I know. However, I have nothing to talk to you about at the moment." He turned away. "I'll return relatively soon."

"Then we will talk," Kratos pressed and Lloyd could tell by his tone there wasn't room for argument.

"Yeah," Lloyd said as he walked towards the transport. "We'll talk." He could feel his father's gaze burning into his back as he stepped on the warp and even as he reappeared on Sylvarant, Lloyd could still feel his eyes watching him.

Something splashed on his eyelash and he glanced upwards and realized it was raining. Suddenly he was aware of the dampness seeping through his clothes and hair. His hair drooped, starting to plaster his face and he shook his hair from his eyes and hurried under the canopy. Mist swirled through the trunks, blurring his surroundings. He walked deftly through the undergrowth, his pants sodden from the knees done by the time he was nearing the clearing. Above him, the sky darkened and he heard the beginnings of thunder rumbling.

The house was lit, the flickering of candles shining through the windows and he could see figures moving within. The thunder rumbled loudly as Lloyd stood motionless at the tree line, watching the building. Water ran off the roof in long streams, splashing in a muddy puddle on the ground. Lloyd mentally made note to construct eaves troughs when he had time.

His eyes dropped back to the window and he strained to listen to the conversation, but found amid the hammering of the rain on the roof and the rumbling of thunder he couldn't. He studied the shadowed figures through the window, making out Colette and one other he assumed was Presea. Genis was not there? He frowned at that thought, but found himself slightly relieved. It wasn't the right time to confront him. Then again, would there ever be the right time...?

Lloyd shook his head, shoving the thought away and stepped out of the cover of the trees. He noted Noishe curled up in the pen, huddled under a large blanket. The rain would hopefully mask most of Lloyd's scent and sound. He approached at an angle he wouldn't be seen from the window and moved up against the building. He could make out the muffled voices from there. Rain dripped down his face, saturating his hair as he listened.

"You believe me don't you, Presea?" Colette asked quietly.

"I think you are confused. Genis is right to say it's too dangerous for you to see him alone. You should have told us sooner." Presea answered.

"He's not dangerous! If he was don't you think he would have done something already?" Colette argued.

"I don't know. What I do know is what you have told me and what I've seen. He is in Cruxis, which makes him our enemy and I saw him kill the angels."

"Exactly. If he wasn't our friend, why would he kill the angels?"

Presea seemed to hesitate and Lloyd blinked his eyes clear of the rain settling on his lashes. When she finally answered, Lloyd almost couldn't hear her.

"They need you alive, Colette. Lloyd attacked only when the angels threatened your life. It could be argued he was protecting you only to—"

"Don't!" Colette exclaimed and then silence followed and Lloyd heard her breath heavily. "Let's not talk about this anymore..."

"Alright." Presea agreed.

Lloyd leaned his head back against the house, staring at the sheet of rain falling before him. Colette was trying to defend him. It was not her responsibility to do that, it was his. He frowned and glanced back at the window and then up towards the balcony, but dismissed the idea. He needed to talk to her. He hadn't wanted to involve Presea; however, by the sound of it, there wasn't a chance he'd catch Colette alone anytime soon.

A flash of lightning lit up the sky, followed by a crack of thunder that made him wince and reach for his ear in irritation. He glanced back at the window, his frown deepening and then sighed and moved around to the front of the house and stood before the door. He stared at it for the longest moment, his hand raised to knock, but he still hesitated. If he knocked, Presea was more likely to answer rather than Colette, he didn't want that girl between them. Inhaling slowly he called Colette's name softly, but loud enough she would undoubtedly hear. "Colette. I'm at the door."

He waited, then heard a clamour as a chair clattered to the floor and Presea calling to ask what was wrong. Then the door swung open, the light blinding Lloyd for a moment. He blinked and then felt Colette collide against him, causing him to stumble back into the rain. "Lloyd! I knew you were coming back! What happened? Did you get in trouble for killing—?"

Lloyd lifted his glove and covered her mouth, frowning. "You're getting wet."

Colette scowled at him and shoved him back. "That's not important! Tell me what's going on?"

"Get back inside, Colette." Presea appeared at the doorway, her axe in her hands, staring at Lloyd suspiciously. Colette whirled around, her eyes widening as she noticed and she moved back towards her. Lloyd's hands instinctively dropped to his swords,

"No, Presea. Listen he's not dangerous. Just let him talk—"

"Get in the house, Colette." Presea repeated, lifting the axe defensively and moving past Colette, her eyes drifting from Lloyd's swords to his face.

"I don't wish to fight. I only want to talk with Colette." Lloyd pushed back his irritation and impulse to just approach and disarm her. He had to remind himself that Presea believed she was protecting Colette.

Presea didn't move. "You talk to me first."

Lloyd's eyes narrowed and his hand tightened around his sword.

**Please Review.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Listening to **Why by Rascal Flatts. **Well it's Christmas Eve. Sure doesn't feel like it. Sleeping in tomorrow. Finally. Been so busy with running around it's crazy. I thought holidays were relaxing. Oh well. This I suppose is a present for all my readers and reviewers. Thank you so much for all the encouragement. Happy Holidays all! Enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 14:**

Lloyd glared down at Presea, sizing the petite girl up. For some reason, he only now realized how much she had grown since he had last seen her. Her pigtails were gone, her hair long and tied back into a single ponytail. Her features had narrowed out, losing their childishness. He noticed her long outfit, only slightly altered in style to her old one as well. But none of this concerned him. He just hadn't taken the time to realize how his old companions had matured. Seven years was a long time...

"Presea, put down your axe and step aside," Lloyd demanded, staring her down, refocusing on the matter at hand.

Strangely, Presea met his gaze unwaveringly, shifting her axe higher. "Not until you answer some questions of mine. Then I might consider it."

Lloyd frowned, not expecting this approach. He did recall her unique emotional detachment to situations. Was it possible that she had yet to fully regain all of her emotions? Or had she simply just adapted and didn't care to try to express them?

A clap of thunder jarred him from his thoughts and he glanced up, noting that the clouds were opening up and the rain rushed down like a faucet. Colette stood behind Presea, looking at him pleadingly and he sighed as the rainwater drenched the three. "What is it you wish to know?"

"Are you a Cruxian angel?" Her voice was level and expressionless.

"Yes," Lloyd responded in a similar tone.

"Were you responsible for the angels' attack on Iselia?"

"No."

"Do you intend harm on Colette either now or in the future?"

"No."

"How do I know you aren't lying to me?" She studied him.

Lloyd had been expecting such a question and he closed his eyes. "You don't."

Presea frowned, her axe twisting in her grip, her damp, rose-coloured hair hanging in her eyes. "You expect me to trust you?"

"I expect nothing from you," Lloyd answered truthfully. He wasn't deceiving them, if they asked he would tell them what was necessary. Seeing Presea analyze his words and his appearance as if he were a stranger—but to her he suppose he was. His eyes lifted to find Colette, rain coursing down his face and hair in streams. She was upset, but he wasn't sure if it was because of the situation, or because of his responses. He knew Colette wanted him to tell Presea what he told her, but he wouldn't. He saw no point in giving details.

Presea cut into his thoughts and his eyes snapped back to her. "Why did you ignore Genis earlier?"

Lloyd frowned a bit, but kept his tone even. "I had more pressing matters to attend to."

She didn't seem to like his response, but she didn't comment. "I do not trust you." He critical eyes narrowed on to him. "Yet, I will allow you to come in. Do not ask me to leave you in private, however, because I won't." She turned then and entered the house.

Lloyd nearly smiled in spite of himself. The boldness of the small girl's words amused him. She actually believed she could prevent him from acting against her demands. The only reason he was still standing outside was because he refrained from using force, not because she was the one holding the power.

He saw Colette smile and about to rush over to him, but he reached her first, gently gripping her elbow and guided her inside ahead of him. She looked up at him, worriedly, but he kept his face blank, staring ahead of him.

"Lloyd? Are you alright?" Colette reached her hand up to touch his cheek, but he was all too aware of Presea's penetrating gaze and he grabbed her wrist, forcing her hand down.

"I'm fine. I returned to tell you that circumstances have changed."

"Changed? You mean because they know I am here? Should I be moving sooner—?"

Lloyd cut her off. "You are not leaving. Not yet, at least." He frowned, searching for the right words so as not to confuse her and then decided to put it bluntly. "I told Yggdrasill you died. He's called off the search."

"Why would he believe that?" Presea interjected abruptly. "He trusts your word so fully?"

Lloyd glanced at her. "He trusts the facts I've given him and nothing more. He has no reason to believe I would lie to him." He left out his suspicions.

"I wonder..." Presea watched him carefully, but left her statement hanging.

Holding her gaze for a moment longer, Lloyd turned back to Colette, noticing her patient confusion. "You told them I was dead? But—"

"They will no longer be searching for you officially. As long as you remain out of sight, you will no longer be at risk from Cruxis. However you still need to be wary of the Desians." Lloyd cast an eye around the room. "You can remain here for as long as it is safe."

Colette's eyes widened at the realization and threw herself at Lloyd, tears springing to her eyes. "Thank you," she murmured. "Thank you."

Lloyd stood stiffly, aware that Presea was still watching them. When Colette attempted to reach up and kiss him, he pulled back. He saw the immediate disappointment and puzzlement across her face, but he did not want to make this even more troublesome for her. It was bad enough that her friends realized she had been in contact with him. He didn't want them to think of them in a relationship.

It tore at him, not being able to hold her, knowing it would be a while before he would return again. His hand reached down and gripped hers, longing to prolong his departure. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

Colette seemed to know what he meant. Not physically, but mentally alright. He saw her hesitate and then try to smile up at him, but Lloyd knew when she was hiding something. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "There is no reason for you to continue defending me."

"Yes there is." Colette frowned, determined. "Why can't you just explain it to them?"

Lloyd searched her face and then glanced at Presea, who was listening quietly. He shook his head again. "It's not necessary to."

"That's not right! They just don't understand! If you explain then—"

"Then what?" Lloyd cut her off sharply. He released her hand and turned his face aside. "I will not make excuses for myself."

Colette went to interject, but Lloyd interrupted. "I'm not going to be able to return for some time." He saw her eyes widened. "I will come when I am able," he reassured her. Lloyd touched her arm gently and turned, walking back out into the rain. He didn't spare a glance at Presea. His teeth clenched angrily as he fought the urge to turn around. He reasoned with himself that Colette would be taken care of. Her friends would see to it that she was watched over and his presence was now even more endangering to her. It was only this thought that allowed him to walk away from her.

"Lloyd! Wait!"

He half turned and Colette threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder. The rain fell around them like a curtain. Presea stood in the open doorway, but Lloyd couldn't force Colette away. He didn't want to. He gently caressed her hair and leaned down as if to whisper in her ear. Rather he gave her light kiss on the cheek then spoke softly. "I promise I'll come back."

"I know," she murmured, clutching his vest. "Just be careful."

Lloyd said nothing, but gently pulled away from her and disappeared back into the trees, leaving her watching after him. His hands clenched at his side, before he gathered the mana and warped back to Derris Kharlan. When he opened his eyes, he blinked at the brightness then proceeded to his quarters.

He was relieved Genis had not been there and he was relieved that Colette had someone capable to watch over her in his absence, despite his misgivings of how they would interrogate. Lloyd knew it was foolish to think he could avoid the matter entirely. He had been hoping—hoping for what? More time? For them to forget him? Sighing, he began unbuttoning his sodden vest as he neared his room. Perhaps he would take the next day or so and sleep, mentally rest and refresh his mind. It had been a couple of weeks since he had actually closed his eyes for longer than a couple of hours.

The door slid open and Lloyd froze one step in the room. Kratos sat, leafing through one of the books Lloyd had borrowed from one of the many libraries in Yggdrasill's castle. Lloyd hadn't touched the text since he had found Colette, in fact, he had completely forgotten he had it. However, his attention was more focused on his father, seated on the edge of his bed.

"You smell of rain," Kratos commented suddenly and glanced up at him.

Lloyd shrugged and strode in, throwing his vest over the chair to dry and proceeded to removed his gloves and gauntlets. "I suppose even that would stand out in this place." He laid his gloves down and then looked at his father exasperated. "Why are you here?"

Kratos closed the book, setting it aside. "I wanted to talk to you."

"That much is obvious, but couldn't it wait?" Lloyd muttered, peeling off his wet undershirt and tossed the ball of cloth near the desk. He moved across the room to his closet.

"From what I heard your duties are suspended for the moment. I think now is an appropriate time." Kratos shifted on the bed, watching Lloyd carefully. "Unless you have more pressing plans, of course."

Lloyd hand froze as he reached for a dry shirt and grimaced, turning to face Kratos. "I don't mean to push you away. It's just not—"

"Not convenient to sit and talk with your father?" Kratos shook his head and stood. Lloyd looked to the side as Kratos approached him, a large hand gripping his shoulder. "Lloyd, just because you are here, doesn't mean you have to deal with everything on your own. I am still here, like I always have been, whether you've wanted me to be or not."

Lloyd looked at him, nearly eye-level. The guilt rushed through him, clutching at his stomach, twisting his insides. He hadn't realized he had been pushing Kratos away. He realized now how obvious it was, how much easier it was to keep secrets if you simply did not talk to anyone. Kratos was never the type to openly announce his concern like this and, if he was, Lloyd knew his behaviour was drawing attention.

"It's Colette's death, isn't it?"

Lloyd flinched, but caught himself from immediately denying it. It was close enough to the truth that Lloyd figured it would be the only chance to speak with his father about Colette. Until now, it would have been too suspicious to talk about her causally. Lloyd closed his eyes and nodded once.

"I see," Kratos answered. Lloyd knew he was waiting for Lloyd to open up. Still hesitating, Lloyd rubbed a hand through his hair and turned from Kratos, grabbing a black, long-sleeved shirt.

"She doesn't deserve this." Lloyd spoke finally, staring into the closet blankly.

"You speak as if she is still alive," Kratos commented.

Lloyd glanced at him, inwardly cursing his use of tense. "I suppose I'm finding it difficult to accept she is really gone."

Kratos nodded. "Though, perhaps it is better she died as herself."

Scowling, Lloyd turned away from him. "Yes, perhaps."

"You knew her fate, yet you still agreed to accept Yggdrasill's orders. Why?" Kratos pressed.

"I thought orders weren't meant to be dismissed."

"Don't twist the question, Lloyd." Kratos frowned. "You did it to give her more time, didn't you? And she would have, if Yggdrasill hadn't interfered."

Lloyd paused, the irony of Kratos' words both tortured him. The truth was on the tip of his father's tongue and yet oblivious to the fact. Or was he? Lloyd closed his eyes and decided not to comment. He heard his father sigh.

"Lloyd, why do you stay here?"

The question appeared abruptly and Lloyd stopped and stared at Kratos blankly. It had been a few years since Kratos has posed that question and Lloyd had believed the matter settled. He turned and pulled the shirt over his head. "I have nowhere else to go."

"You know that isn't true. Your friends are in no less danger if you are here or with them." Kratos pointed out.

"You cannot prove that." Lloyd turned and faced him, running a hand through his damp hair. "In any case, I wouldn't want to intrude on their lives. They have moved on as have I." It was a feeble lie and Lloyd knew it wasn't true.

"Have you considered the possibility that they would welcome you back and not see you as the burden you believe you are?" Kratos rose from the bed.

"Don't assume I haven't considered it. It is for that reason why I remain here." Lloyd narrowed his eyes. "I'm tired. I don't wish to discuss this anymore."

Kratos frowned and closed his eyes. "Very well." He started towards the door, Lloyd watching him leave, when Kratos paused and glanced back. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Lloyd gave a curt nod and turned away, staring into his closet. He heard his father leave and sighed. Kratos still seemed to blame himself. Lloyd had almost considered admitting his desire to abandon Cruxis and disappear on the worlds, but where would he go? He was too recognizable to live openly; both Desians and the average person would identify him easily enough, especially if he travelled with Colette.

He glanced at the closed door sadly. Unfortunately, Lloyd was also reminded of how his father had done the exact same thing. Running from Cruxis with his mother and hunted every day. He liked to believe he was strong enough to protect Colette, but he was sure his father had thought the same thing about his mother. He touched the locket around his neck. No, he couldn't repeat the past; he would not put Colette in that type of danger. She was believed dead and, for the time being, was safe. His comfort wasn't necessary if it jeopardized her safety.

Content about his resolve to remain her guardian from within Cruxis, Lloyd quickly stripped his remaining wet clothes and changed into more comfortable pants. Feeling the beginnings of a headache coming, he quickly turned off the lights and lay on his bed, not bothering to use the covers and fell asleep.

* * *

Pulling his hood further over his face, to keep curious eyes from seeing his face, Genis scanned the crowded inn for his elder sister. After searching the entire town, he figured he was more likely to catch her coming here than any other place. He was sweating, but he did not feel like being recognized or pestered by the townspeople should he remove his cloak. Genis was at the boiling point with his patience and threatening to bubble over, so listening to the babbling of humans wouldn't help him in the least.

After a loud argument between himself and Presea, Genis finally agreed to trek to Triet to find his sister, leaving Presea to keep an eye on Colette. He knew Presea was just trying to get his foul mood out of the way, knowing he was upsetting Colette. But damn it! Why shouldn't he be mad?

Hunching over at the table, his fingers dug into his palms, breathed deeply to calm himself, his nerves fried. That bastard hadn't even bothered to say hello, or reassure him or anything! Hell, Genis couldn't get the image of Lloyd glaring at him, his tone harsh and cold as Lloyd brushed him off as if he was an annoying child.

Genis clenched his teeth and, scowling. Some part of him argued that it wasn't even Lloyd. Sure it sort of looked like him, but how could Lloyd act like that? Lloyd would never have done those things! Heck, he didn't even admit he was Lloyd!

_He didn't deny it either, _a small voice reminded him.

Couldn't be bothered, Genis thought bitterly. Why stop and admit it was him—Wait! Genis straightened slightly, his eyes widening. Was it possible that it really wasn't Lloyd, just a look alike? He remembered, back on the Journey of Regeneration, that one angel named Remiel had done something similar. He played the role of Colette's father to earn her trust. Could this person be pretending to be Lloyd just like—?

No, even if Colette was gullible, she wouldn't fall for something like that. He frowned. The fact Colette was defending him, meant she honestly believed it was Lloyd. Genis hesitated, his anger suddenly conflicted with doubts. It was possible then that Colette was right, that Lloyd was actually...back. But why the hell was he so different? Sure after a lot of years people do change, but not like that! It was like-like talking to Kratos or something!

Genis groaned softly, brushing his hair out of his eyes and stood up. The inn was too hot and it was obvious Raine wasn't here. He might as well wait outside in the shade. He sighed in relief at the smell of fresh-well fresher air, and shut the inn door behind him and walked up the steps. He made his way over to the lean-to and seated himself on the ground, pushing back his hood, flipping his ponytail free. He dug into his satchel and pulled out a text on the developments of advanced magi-technology engineering. Maybe studying would take his mind off things. He was only frustrating himself and it would be better to wait until he found Raine to discuss the Lloyd situation.

The afternoon dragged on and after rereading the same five chapters, it was nearing dusk by the time he finally spotted her. Genis just happened to glance up as she came through the town archway. She was dusty and seemed thoroughly ticked about something, but Genis wasn't exactly in a good mood either. He snapped his book shut and strode over to her. "Where have you been?"

Raine blinked in surprised as her brother advanced on her. "Genis? What are you doing here? Where are Presea and Noishe?" she asked, glancing around.

Genis waved his arm in the direction of Iselia. "That's not important!" he snapped. "Raine, Lloyd's alive and he works for Cruxis now!"

"What are you talking about all of a sudden?" Raine asked wearily, looking slightly aggravated. "Where did you come up with such nonsense?"

"I saw him Raine!" Genis hissed as a couple walked past them. He glanced at them then turned back to her. "That bastard is alive and—"

"Language, Genis!" Raine cut him off sharply and then sighed, she looked at the inn and then back at the desert. "Look, I'm tired and I need a cold drink. I have a roomed rented, let's go there and you can explain."

Genis huffed angrily. His sister wasn't even listening to him! But he knew that there was no helping it. Raine's mind seemed to be on something else entirely and she probably thought he was just in denial again about Lloyd's disappearance. Well, he wasn't damn it! And she was going to listen to him this time!

He followed her impatiently into the inn and waited as she asked for refreshments to be brought to their room before heading there herself. Genis managed to calm down as he waited for her to set her bag down and wash her face in the basin. Drying herself off, she turned to him. "Alright, now why don't you start at the beginning? I didn't understand anything you said earlier."

Genis frowned but did as she asked, starting at Colette's surprise visit and how she was asking for Raine, to the angels attacking them inside Iselia and then Lloyd appearing and slaughtering the angels.

"He killed them all, Raine! Just like that, not even hesitating!"

Raine's expression was serious now. "Where is he now?"

"The bastard left!" Raine frowned as his cursing, but Genis ignored her. "He didn't even stop and try to explain what was going on, even when Colette asked him to! And he had wings, Raine! Before he disappeared, he took out these massive wings and warped away!"

"He is an angel?" Raine asked, shocked.

"That's what I've been saying!" Genis retorted, throwing his hands up. "And the worst part is that apparently he's been back for more than a month already, visiting Colette. She trusts him completely!"

Raine sighed. "Genis, calm down. As serious as this is, getting upset over this isn't helping. Now, What do you mean Colette trusts him completely?"

"Well, she's constantly trying to defend him, saying that he's not dangerous and we should just let him explain things. It's like she doesn't even realize he is in Cruxis!"

"Have you considered she's telling the truth?" Raine offered. Genis could tell she was just thinking over all the possibilities and didn't necessary side with Colette's theory.

"Yeah, but Raine! You weren't there!" Genis waved his arm. "I tried to talk to him and he spun around and snapped that 'he didn't have the time to deal with me right now' and then left! Lloyd would never do that!"

Raine said nothing, but nodded slowly and Genis sighed, frustrated, tired, and hot. He was just as confused and upset as he had been since that day. He wanted to believe Colette, but at the same time, he just couldn't. How could Colette honestly believe that person was still Lloyd? He was nothing like him...

"I was in contact with Yuan today," Raine said softly and Genis looked at her in surprise. "Before you say anything, he's a valuable ally. Regardless of how irritating he can be, he does offer information about Cruxis and Tethe'alla."

Genis clamped his mouth shut, furious that his sister still trusted the Renegade leader so much. Still, Genis knew she was using him for information because he was there only link to Tethe'alla. Genis would give anything to strangle that two-face backstabber. He hunched down on a chair. "What did the jerk have to say this time?"

"Apparently, Zelos is still having trouble with the law. Though he isn't wanted at the moment, the Queen has passed many of Zelos' rights and duties onto the Pope and is under constant guard. In other words, Zelos is under house arrest."

Genis frowned. "Can they even do that? He's the Chosen. Wouldn't all his fans be upset?"

"Refrain from the sarcasm, Genis. This is serious," Raine admonished, and Genis grumbled, but went quiet. "He still has his status, but he lost his voice in the council and higher ups."

"And that's bad?"

Raine sighed. "Not at the moment, but it doesn't help our situation. The Pope now holds a lot of power and it was him from the start that caused us trouble."

"I don't see how this concerns us anymore. I mean I'm worried for Sheena and Zelos over there, but it's not as if we can do anything. Besides, if Lloyd is in Cruxis, why the hell didn't Yuan tell you about him? I think he's playing you, Raine. It's not like him to give out all this information for nothing."

Raine went to respond when the door opened and a young serving girl carried in their tray of refreshments. After she left, Raine shook her head and stood, pouring herself a glass. "The information isn't free, Genis. I've been exchanging news with him as well about Sylvarant. As for why he never mentioned Lloyd, I intend to figure that out tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Genis walked over and got his own glass. "But what about Colette and—?"

"I think it will help clear things up if we can find out more about the situation, wouldn't you?" Genis hung his head, scowling and Raine sighed. "Besides, you can return and help Presea watch over Colette. If he hasn't harmed her yet, I'm sure Lloyd won't attempt to while you're both there."

"We don't know that. He's not really Lloyd anymore, Raine," Genis muttered, staring at his water. "I don't like this."

"I don't either, Genis."

* * *

"What happened to him?"

Colette stared out the window, watching the rain drizzling in a gray haze across the clearing. Water droplets hung from the leaves, the clothesline and the window pane and she watched as they dripped and gathered again like some strange pattern. Presea sat behind her, quiet since Lloyd had left hours before. Colette had been grateful for Presea's silence, but she knew it would only last so long and the question hadn't surprised her.

Genis had left earlier that day and would be returning, with or without Raine within the next day or so. Colette was nervous for when he returned, knowing that without knowing any facts, Genis would have been simmering over Lloyd's sudden appearance and gotten only more frustrated. Colette considered explaining everything to Presea, but Lloyd hadn't wanted to. It frustrated Colette to no end. He said they would be excuses, but they weren't! They were reasons and they deserved to understand why he was forced to do what he did.

But of course, Colette could never betray Lloyd's privacy like that. Even when telling her, she could detect his reluctance to do so. She wondered if he had even meant to, most of the time, it was like he drifted back into his memories, completely forgetting that she was sitting there listening and he was talking. Did he relive the moments every time he spoke of them? Was it easier for him to cope when he shoved them to the dark recesses of his mind and just accepted his life?

"Colette?" Presea spoke through her thoughts and Colette turned from the window to face the other girl. "I cannot trust him if I don't know him. I was not his friend like he was your's. I do not have anything to connect to him save what I know from you and the Sages."

"But you know he was a good person," Colette replied. "You know he was trying to help you before he was taken, how he helped me and saved Genis and Raine from execution! You know this!"

"People change, Colette. People are constantly changing who they are because of how they live and who they live with." She closed her eyes. "Both Genis and I have changed and so have you. Why would Lloyd not change as well?"

"I didn't say he didn't." Colette argued, turning back to the window. "I'm just saying that he is still Lloyd despite those changes, just as we are still the same person despite ours."

"What happened to him, Colette?" Presea repeated, her soft voice emotionless as always.

Colette bit her lip, watching the rain. "He was trapped there, Presea." Her hand travelled up to her Cruxis Crystal embedded beneath the necklace. "You know what it feels like to be trapped, to want to get out and you can't. And in the end, all you can do is accept what has happened." She looked back at Presea. "And once he did that, he didn't know how to come back."

Presea stared at her, the sound of rain on the roof filling the silence. Colette wondered if she had said too much, but then realized it didn't matter. She would not allow Lloyd to be ridiculed and accused of things that were not his fault. She would respect his decision to keep the details a secret, but she was not going to shy away from telling the truth.

"You care about him greatly," Presea said after a moment.

Colette looked back at her, nodding. "Of course, he is my friend."

"I believe that he was trapped, but that doesn't necessarily excuse him for who he is now. Perhaps your feelings for him are clouding your judgment. Both you and Genis never stopped believing he was alive and once you discovered he was you both reacted differently. Genis denial because it was not the Lloyd he expected, and you overlook his differences because you are afraid to lose him again."

Colette frowned. "I'm not confused about this, Presea! I realize he's different, but he's still, Lloyd. That's not going to change."

Presea shook her head slowly, but said nothing. Colette frowned, her throat tightening. Why couldn't they just listen? Why was it so hard for them to understand? She knew the reason of course. Lloyd was fighting this just as much as they were. Colette closed her eyes tightly, listening to the rain outside. Why was he so afraid to have his friends back?

"Don't tell Genis that Lloyd was here." Colette looked at Presea in the reflection of the window. "He did nothing wrong and I don't Genis to be upset."

Presea sighed, but nodded. "I will keep it to myself."

Colette let the small wave of relief wash through. Even if Presea didn't trust Lloyd fully, she was willing to give some leniency. She groaned slightly as she pushed her exhausted body up and headed towards the stairs. "Come on, I'll make up a bed for you upstairs. You are probably tired."

Smiling in thanks, Presea followed her up. Colette let her mind wander to the beginning of the day, the reason she had gone to Iselia in the first place. Her hand touched her stomach hesitantly before dropping her hand immediately. Colette now wondered if it would be wise to ask Raine about her suspicions or if she should simply wait and see. Now that her friends knew about Lloyd, she wondered how long it would take before they piece together what happened between them.

She shook her head. She would wait. What would happen, would happen. She'd figure out what to do once it did.

**Please Review. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Listening to **Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park.** Well another Christmas come and gone. Hope everyone had a good one. Now it's already New Year's Eve. Time seems to just be flying along. Seems odd. Oh well, get to crack open some champagne and chips with my Dad tonight and watch the countdown. Should be fun. Anyway, thanks again everyone for all the reviews, favs, alerts and reading. As always, appreciate it. Here's the next chapter. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 15: **

The muffled voices in the hallway outside the office rose violently. The scratch of pen on paper stopped, followed by an exasperated sigh of annoyance. Carefully, the papers were gathered and slid into a draw away from prying eyes. Barely closing the draw, the door slid open, letting the shouts enter the office like roaring tsunami.

"Yuan, call your lackey off right now!" Raine jerked her arm free from the Renegade sentry. The young guard looked thoroughly terrified of the female Professor. Yuan decided it was better to salvage what was left of the boy's pride and waved him off. Raine's glare followed the young half-elf's quick exit before snapping it onto Yuan himself. "You need to start talking."

He slid his pen to the side of his desk and folded his hands before his mouth, elbows resting on the desktop. "I believe we had a fairly long discussion the other day. Quite lovely, in my opinion." In all honesty, he was curious to know what Raine could possibly want that would cause her to ultimately barge into his base and demand his attention. Of course, he would never let her know he was curious.

"Don't play games with me, Yuan," Raine snapped, slamming her hands on his desk, staring at him. Her eyes were intense and Yuan could tell he was going to have fun taunting her emotions in this discussion.

Yuan inhaled slowly and leaned back into his chair, maintaining eye contact. "I do not play games. After all, how can I answer if I do not know your questions? I was just giving you a response to your ambiguous statement."

"Lloyd Irving." Raine enunciated the name slowly and harshly. Yuan felt his heart skip a beat and he hardened his face. The woman seemed to notice for she leaned forward. "Talk."

"What about him?" Raine looked nearly lethal, but Yuan just closed his eyes. "Raine, you understand how discussions work. You can't simply demand—"

"He's back," Raine cut in curtly. Yuan's eyes snapped open and she glared at him. "And he's an angel apparently."

"Is he now?"

"For mana's sake, Yuan! Why didn't you tell me he was alive?" Raine snapped, her hand waving angrily.

Yuan frowned. "You never asked."

"Damn you—"

"Too late, I'm afraid." He shook his head and leaned forward. "In any case, Raine, what purpose would it have served for me to tell you Lloyd...Irving was alive?"

Raine slammed her hand down again, causing him to flinch, despite expecting it. Bothersome teacher behaviour...

"You had no right to keep this from us. When did he willingly join Cruxis? When did he become an angel?" Raine slapped her hand down with each question.

Yuan frowned. "Why not ask him yourself?"

"I'm asking you," Raine countered.

Pushing himself up from his chair, Yuan walked slowly around to the front of his desk to stand before her. Raine remained rooted in place, determined not to back down from him. It both amused and irritated Yuan. He studied her carefully before talking. "You haven't actually seen him have you?"

The slight purse in her mouth confirmed Yuan's suspicions and he smirked, shaking his head. "And here I thought your passionate concern was well-founded."

"Just answer my questions, Yuan." Raine's voice lowered. "What happened to him?"

Yuan glanced at her for a long moment. "I can't tell you that. It's not my place."

"Screw your place, Yuan. When have you ever cared for boundaries?" Raine jabbed a finger at him, her expression harsh. "I deserve to know what became of my student!"

"He's not your student anymore, Raine. He hasn't been for some time now." Yuan turned from her hurt expression and stared at nothing in particular. "You seem to know the basic details. I doubt I can tell you much more."

"I disagree." Raine folded her arms, gaze penetrating and yet desperation filled them. "At least tell me this. Can we trust him? Is he our enemy?"

"You ask me this?" Yuan stared at her, eyes narrowed. "Obviously you don't believe you can trust him or you wouldn't be asking."

"Yuan—"

"We're finished here. If you want answers to your questions, ask Lloyd yourself. I don't know what goes on in his head anymore than you do." Yuan cut her off with a wave of his hand, bottling his irritation.

Raine's eyes flashed angrily, but Yuan merely walked back around his desk and seated himself. Raine glared at him, before pointing at him. "I'm not through with you."

Yuan sighed and narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "I'm not answering you questions."

"When did he agree to work with Cruxis?" Raine ignored his statement. "How many years has it been?"

"Did I not tell you to leave?" Yuan glowered.

"I'm estimating three and half. That splits his absence in half." Raine rubbed her chin. "Of course, that would depend on how willing he was..."

Yuan scowled and pulled his draw open, bringing out a random folder and attempted to focus on it rather than her incessant talking. Stubborn woman never knew when to back off.

"Then there is the manner of becoming an angel. Was the transformation voluntary or forced? Yuan?"

"What?" he snapped, not looking at her.

Raine put her hand on the paper he read and meeting his glare as he looked up. "I'm not leaving until you answer me."

"I could just have you thrown out." Yuan threatened.

Raine scoffed. "You are enjoying this too much otherwise you would have already done it. Now tell me if I am right. Was Lloyd forced to—?"

"Why did you never ask me about him before?" Yuan leaned back in his chair again. Her reaction was exactly as he predicted, stunned and speechless. He tapped his finger on his desk. "Not once in all those years did you even consider asking about him. Why was that?"

The half-elven woman gathered herself together, though Yuan could tell he had struck a nerve. Guilt was useful.

"You avoided the conversation whenever his name did come up." She argued.

"But you stopped after the first few months." Yuan pointed out. "Did you just forget that he was still alive up there?"

She looked at him. "I didn't consider the possibility, I suppose."

Yuan raised an eyebrow. "You thought him dead?"

She gave a curt nod. "If you think about it logically, why would Yggdrasill bother trying to conform Lloyd? What would be the point, not to mention the risks? I believed he might be kept alive for a time to lure us to Derris Kharlan, but after years had passed..." Raine frowned a looked at him. "Why did you never tell me? Didn't you know he could have helped—"

"It wasn't place to tell."

"Your place—? Of all the childish and—" Raine's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You are our ally! You were there when he was taken and you left with him. How was it not your place to tell us he was still alive?"

Yuan glanced at her, frowning back at her. "I am not some messenger boy. If Lloyd wanted you to know he was alive, don't you think he would have found away?"

"Not if he was—" Raine started.

"Furthermore, you stand here and accuse me of not relaying all my information, yet I know full well you have kept information withheld from me. Mainly concerning the Chosen."

Raine closed her mouth and glared at him, folding her arms.

Yuan smirked and shook his head. "Yet, now that Lloyd has reappeared suddenly, you are concerned for him. Or is it something else entirely? After all, you haven't seen him, you are just asking these questions, analyzing him as you would a subject or topic. Same way you would an enemy. So who did see him? Let me guess, it was your brother, perhaps?"

Raine frowned further, her irritation growing.

Yuan smirked. "Come back to me when you've actually seen him for yourself Raine. Perhaps I will be more willing to talk then."

This time she did leave, but, not before promising she would be back. And Yuan knew she would be. His smirk vanished as the door slid shut. He had never enjoyed those arguments that concerned Lloyd. Yuan thought the boy foolish, but he respected his decision. Yuan was not shy of prying into a person's life, but he knew when to withhold information. Yuan wasn't sure why this was one of those times. He owed Lloyd nothing, yet Yuan had watched Lloyd change over the years. Yuan wasn't completely cold-hearted.

Yuan sighed heavily and rubbed his mouth thoughtfully. So, Lloyd had shown himself to someone—or more likely got sighted—and now his friends were asking questions and Lloyd didn't stop to answer. Obviously, Raine only discovered this in the past day, meaning it must have occurred after Colette's death...

Yuan frowned, leaning forward, staring at the door. Raine had said nothing about Colette. It was possible that she figured he already knew, but still, it bothered him that it had not been mentioned at all. Then again, Raine was careful with any information concerning Colette. She knew the Renegades were still a threat to the young Chosen's life as much as Cruxis was. Raine wouldn't want to give Yuan the satisfaction of telling him she was dead.

He smirked. The woman certainly knew how to spite him. Not many people could...

Yuan moved that matter aside and focused again on Raine's rather abrupt demands about Lloyd. She was clearly upset about the matter and would no doubt come and haggle him again as she had promised.

Sighing heavily, Yuan rose from his chair and reached for his cloak, hanging near the door. He needed to have a chat with Lloyd again.

* * *

"Get up."

Lloyd's eyes snapped open, the voice startling him from his sleep. Instantly, he felt groggy usually a side effect from forcing himself to sleep long hours. However, he was still aware of a presence standing next to his bed and he tilted to glare at the intruder. Shockingly it wasn't who he expected it to be.

"Dad?" Lloyd blinked, lifting his head slowly. "What are you doing here?"

Kratos stared down at him then nodded, walking over to his closet. "Good, you're awake."

Lloyd glanced around the room, confused, and then looked at his father, pushing himself into a sitting position. "Obviously, but—"

"Get dressed." Kratos interrupt him, tossing a set of clothes at him.

Catching them, Lloyd stared at Kratos in annoyance. "Wait. Can you stop and explain this to me?"

Kratos paused on his way to the door, looking over his shoulder. "I didn't think you need assistance in dressing."

Normally, Lloyd probably would have been amused by his father's jests, but right now, Lloyd was still half-asleep and irritated. He frowned at Kratos. "Why do I need to dress?" he emphasized.

"I'll tell you once you are. I'll wait outside. Don't lag." Kratos turned and left his room.

Lloyd stared at the closed door and then at the clothes in his hands. He had half a mind to just toss them on the floor and lay back down. However, his father seemed to be in a strangely humorous mood and Lloyd wasn't about to test how far that humour was going to stretch.

Dressing quickly, Lloyd rubbed his eyes and yawned as he left his room, buckling on his swords. Kratos was waiting, just as he said he would and Lloyd stopped and looked at him expectantly.

"It's nice to see you don't drag your feet getting out of bed anymore."

Lloyd shrugged, tucking in the simple and loose, short-sleeved shirt Kratos had chosen for him. "So why the rush anyways?"

"You've been asleep for a day already," Kratos chided. "I figured it was time to wake you."

Lloyd frowned. "I would have preferred another day, considering I haven't slept in nearly six weeks."

"Try not sleeping for five or so months." Kratos motioned with his head for him to follow and Lloyd rolled his eyes as he trailed him.

"Did something happen to put you in such a pleasant mood?" Lloyd asked absently.

Kratos glanced at him. "The opportunity to spend time with my son."

Lloyd went to comment, but closed his mouth, not sure what to say. They both fell quiet, just walking beside each other. Lloyd cast glances about him out habit, but notice Kratos walked strangely relaxed. It bothered Lloyd. A lot. To see Kratos relaxed and in good humour was rare and Lloyd didn't really know what to make of it. There had been the occasional visit earlier on where Kratos would become laid back, just talking with Lloyd or training him. Usually it occurred during lessons where Lloyd would be hopelessly clueless with Kratos' teaching methods and it would end up in a quarrelling match. But lately, those moments hadn't happened often and their relationship had become tense.

Lloyd glanced at his father. Kratos obviously had something on his mind and Lloyd felt his curiosity growing. Lloyd finally broke down and asked. "Alright, what's on your mind?" Kratos said nothing, which left Lloyd even more interested. Lloyd glared good-naturedly at his father, but didn't press. Knowing Kratos, Lloyd would have to wait until he was ready to reveal it.

It was only when they neared the vacant area of the city, which had been designated for Lloyd's training in the beginning years, that he realized what Kratos was up to. Three buildings surrounded the enclosure, leaving a large square footage for both groundwork and aerial practice. Lloyd scanned the area fondly, noting the marked lines of the track he use to run daily around the perimeter, the marred wooden posts bolted into the floor at the center. The padded dummies had been removed it seemed, however, he still remembered how he use to mutilate them. Hurdles laid untouched down another section, spaced out evenly and the two wooden beams erected at the far end with a metal pole between them where he use to do chin ups.

Above, varying lengths of beams fastened to the outer walls of the buildings. Ropes and poles hung and jutted off them in various patterns for when he practice flight manoeuvres. Many times, he slammed into the beams or clipped them and was sent careening into the floor or the walls. Most of the time it was because he was focused more on defending himself from Kratos' sword, than where he was flying. He learned from that mistake quickly.

Kratos seemed to be lost in nostalgic memories as well and Lloyd glanced at him. "Dad, why are we here?"

"It's been a year or so, hasn't it? Since we've last sparred? I am looking forward to see how much you've improved...or worsened, during that time." Kratos caught his eye, a hidden smile showing in his eyes.

"Training?" Lloyd lifted his eyebrow sceptically, but inside he was eager. A little competition was always amusing, especially when it came to battling with the older seraph. How he still wondered what had put his father in such a good move.

"Just a test to see if my lessons have been a waste of time on you." Kratos strode towards an empty area of the training ground.

Lloyd smirked, following him a few feet before stopping as well, leaving a distance between them. "You are setting yourself up for embarrassment."

Kratos said nothing, but rather, he placed his hand on his sword, watching Lloyd carefully. Lloyd sighed, standing causally and smiled at his father, then lowered his hands so they brushed his sword hilts. Kratos' sword sang as it whipped from the sheath and slashed at Lloyd. Lloyd managed to yank out one blade to defend, parrying the move. Kratos never hesitated, pulling back only to thrust again. Lloyd stepped to the side, thrusting his blade beneath Kratos' to deflect it.

Both stepped to the side, facing each other expectantly, watching for subtle hints to betray their next movement. Lloyd learned quickly to search out your opponents fight pattern. Yuan, for example, preferred distance, relying on a mixture of magic and slashing from his swallow blade. It was an effect style; however, Lloyd found out at close range, Yuan couldn't manoeuvre as easily. The trick was getting close though. Kratos was slightly different.

Lloyd believed he had figured out Kratos', but it was difficult to be sure. Kratos' strategy was always changing. He relied on neither magic nor his sword constantly. At times, his father would mix them; at others, he would forsake magic all together leaving Lloyd no room to counter with an onslaught with his blade. It was probably why Kratos was considered the stronger of the seraph, aside from Yggdrasill.

"You are distracted," Kratos commented suddenly, feinting and causing Lloyd to jerk from his thoughts.

Lloyd frowned and countered quickly, forcing his father on the defensive. "I'd disagree."

Kratos chuckled and slid to the side, evading Lloyd's attacks easily, lowering his blade. "No need to get defensive. I was merely pointing out your error."

Narrowing his eyes, Lloyd watched is father's faint movements, seeing a change in his footing. Lloyd ducked to the right just as the sword jabbed at his left shoulder. "You are stretching, Old Man," he teased. "Unable to find a fault, so you imagine one?"

"You seem overly cocky today." Kratos noted as he blocked an attack from Lloyd. "That in itself is a fault."

Lloyd sighed and rolled his eyes, lowering his swords. "I'm merely stating the truth."

They both paused for a minute, eyeing each other carefully before Kratos smirked and closed his eyes. Lloyd instinctively considered rushing him, but knew that's what Kratos was anticipating. Instead, Lloyd ran forward, then sheathed one sword and dropped, rolling to the left as Kratos' blade whipped over him. Lloyd used his free hand to brace himself on the floor and swung his leg out, catching Kratos across the back of the knee. Lloyd leapt up, Kratos staggering, and thrust his sword at his father.

Kratos had forgone staying upright and dropped to the floor. The blade missed Kratos by inches and he grabbed Lloyd's ankle, and yanked it out from under him.

Lloyd's eyes widened slightly, teetering, he slashed at Kratos' arm, however the older man had already let go and on his feet. Lloyd's second blade tried to deflect Kratos' swift attack, but the force knocked him stumbling back a step. Then the tip of Kratos' blade tapped his son's chin. Kratos' eyes flashing in amusement. "It seems I've won."

Lloyd knocked the sword aside with one of his, scowling. "This time."

The went at it again a number of times. Each time Kratos always managed to slip past Lloyd's defences to knock away his blade or press the tip of his blade to his throat. Lloyd could never beat his father and he didn't expect to now. Still it always left him frustrated as he once again stood, sword to the throat.

Kratos chuckled and sheathed his sword, Lloyd doing the same. Neither of them showed any fatigue. Actually, Lloyd was bitter at how quickly the match had gone. He was getting rusty it seemed.

"Where did I go wrong?" Lloyd asked as Kratos walked past him, Lloyd falling in step.

"Your reflexes after I knocked you off balance. Should have gained you footing quicker," Kratos informed him and Lloyd nodded. His father cast him a glance. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

Lloyd smiled softly. "Of course. I should make a note to return here and resume training. I haven't had to fight much in the past few months."

"I think that would be a good idea. You are becoming rusty with your footwork. That can throw off your entire defensive stance."

"Yes, I know that, Dad." Lloyd rolled his eyes, but smiled.

It felt good to speak with his father without reserves. He hadn't realized how tense he had been lately around him, forcing himself to mask his emotions ever since his mission to find Colette. In short, Lloyd had missed his father's company.

"So how are you faring?" Kratos spoke suddenly, glancing at him.

"Faring?"

"With Colette's death. Aside for our short talk earlier, you haven't—"

"There is nothing for me to talk about." Lloyd interrupted him, but he didn't feel irritated. Not this time. He knew Kratos was just concerned with Lloyd repressing grief. "It's been so long, I'm just a little numb."

Kratos nodded, but Lloyd couldn't tell if his father believed him or not. "The loss of someone close can result in such feelings. But time doesn't lessen the pain. Are you sure you are alright?"

"Yeah, Dad. I'm fine." Lloyd glanced allowing for a small smile. He did appreciate Kratos' concern, even if it was unnecessary.

Kratos smiled back and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "It's been a while since I've seen you smile like that. Promise me, you'll tell me if something is wrong."

"I will." Lloyd ignored the twinge of guilt and told himself he would...if it was necessary. He quickly looked ahead. "We should spar like this again soon."

"You probably won't have much time in the next week or so. I believe Yggdrasill has a series of jobs for you to cover in Tethe'alla. Not to mention, Yuan might have you playing lackey for a couple days."

Lloyd frowned and scoffed. "Yuan's irresponsibility is the cause of these missions in the first place. He's neglecting his duties in Tethe'alla. I'm not cleaning up his messes."

"And here I thought we'd actually get along for once." Yuan's voice cut in and Lloyd growled in annoyance when he noticed the half-elf leaning against the wall as they came around the corner. "Having a little family time?"

Lloyd just folded his arms, ignoring him and allowed Kratos to do the talking. "It was just a series of short spars," Kratos sighed. "Was there something you needed?"

"Yggdrasill's looking for you, Kratos wants your report from Sylvarant. And I wanted to talk to Lloyd. Though," Yuan pushed from the wall, "perhaps it would be better if you heard this too, since it will be good bonding material."

"What do you want, Yuan?" Lloyd snapped, having had more than enough of the irritating half-elf in the last few days. "I have another day before I go to Tethe'alla—"

"This isn't about Tethe'alla. It's about your showing yourself to your friends and stirring a pot of trouble down on Sylvarant." Yuan smirked as Lloyd flinched.

Kratos frowned and looked down at his son, though he was not angry, but thoughtful. "You talked to them?"

Lloyd gritted his teeth. "Not in the way he's suggesting. They spotted me when I went to confirm the angels' deaths." He glared at Yuan. "It was not intentional."

"Of course not." Yuan studied him. "Did they know it was you?"

Lloyd said nothing and looked to the side. How the hell did Yuan find out about this? Had he actually known what Lloyd had been up to for the past while, or did he have spies watching him? Lloyd didn't like the situation at all. If Yuan was getting information like this, where was he—?

Realization dawned on him and he snapped his gaze to Yuan, smirking. "Shouldn't you know that, if you were there? Or did your spies tell you this?"

"Spies?" Kratos asked, looking from Lloyd to Yuan. He did not look impressed, which would work in Lloyd's favour.

Yuan glared back. "I don't spy, I leave that to others. Where I got my information isn't important. Kratos, I suggest you keep a leash on your son if you don't want to risk him running off. He might get a little too comfortable down on Sylvarant again."

"I respect Lloyd's decisions. I'll intervene only if I feel it threatens his life."

Lloyd glanced at his father and then down, feeling Kratos place a hand on his shoulder. Yuan scoffed at the sentiments.

"You'll be intervening when it does happen and Yggdrasill sends you to hunt him down and drag him back. Will you do as you're told or betray him again like—"

"I'm not leaving Cruxis!" Lloyd cut him off abruptly and both men looked at him. Setting his jaw, Lloyd stared Yuan in the eye. "So, if that's your concern, hopefully my word eases it."

Yuan looked at him curiously, the glanced at Kratos. "Better see to Yggdrasill."

Kratos nodded and patted Lloyd's shoulder before brushing past. Lloyd glanced at Yuan and made to follow his father, but Yuan grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "We still need to talk."

"I'm not in the mood to hear it. If you don't believe me—"

"No, I don't believe you." Yuan snapped and jerked him back so he was between Yuan and the building. Lloyd glowered at him, but Yuan gripped his arm firmly. "Why were you in Iselia?"

"I told you why."

Yuan looked at him sceptically. "Are you sure it wasn't to mourn the Chosen? Or you don't really seem that concerned about it do you? No. I forgot you cut off all ties from your past, right? You feel numb, right? I guess they really weren't that important to you in the end."

"Back off, Yuan," Lloyd warned, attempting to tug his arm free, but Yuan pressed him against the wall.

"I wonder if you would care how worried they were when they came begging for me to tell them more, because let's face it, you couldn't care enough to tell them yourself." Lloyd gritted his teeth and Yuan shook his head, half-smiling. "You honestly don't care—"

"No, I don't." Lloyd snapped and Yuan fell silent, staring at him. Lloyd ripped his arm free and shoved past Yuan. "And I'm sure they've told you that themselves as well, since you obviously are close to them. Do me a favour and stop insisting that you understand me and my motives."

"You hate yourself because you couldn't save her." Yuan called over his shoulder, smirking. "That was the game wasn't it? Pretend to hunt, always letting her slip past you by some pathetic excuse. You didn't betray either side and could pretend you were doing nothing wrong." Lloyd stopped, his back towards Yuan, staring at nothing.

"And then she died. You didn't consider that Yggdrasill had guessed you're little game and kept letting you play until it suited him. Yggdrasill planned ahead and you failed to save her life. Just like your father with your mother." Yuan walked towards him, slowing as he passed and whispered. "And now you will walk away just like he did." Then Yuan was gone.

Lloyd remained riveted in place, staring straight ahead. Then slowly he smiled sadly and started walking. "You're wrong, Yuan," he muttered under his breath, but, this was one time Lloyd would allow the fool to believe he was right. Let Yuan believe what he wanted. Let him think Lloyd had fallen as his father once had. As long as Yuan never found out Colette was alive, he wouldn't have to worry about that idiot. Obviously, the others didn't trust him enough to speak about Colette, so he would be left in the dark.

Lloyd chuckled as he headed back to his room. There was one thing he needed to do before he was sent to Tethe'alla. He had been working on it for a week or more now and he couldn't put it off anymore. Though, he'd have to be extremely careful when he delivered it...

**Please Review.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Listening to **Wait for Me by Theory of a Deadman. **Again fitting song for the chapter. Well, University is back into swing. Not particularly joyful news. I think it is fair to warn, that although I have multiple chapters written after this, I may have to change the updates to every two weeks. This will give me time to keep ahead and not worry about stressing during study periods. If things go well and I catch up, I'll change it back to every week. It'll probably happen after next Friday's post.  
Well, anyway, thanks again everyone. Love the reviews and appreciate everyone taking time to read the story. Hope you enjoy. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 16:**

Content rumbles emitted from the resting protozoan as Colette's slender fingers scratched behind his large ears. He nuzzled her leg, his tail thumping happily. The day was hot and the pair was sitting beneath the shade of a tree near the stream. Genis laid sprawled on his back a few feet away beneath another tree, staring up into a book in his hand and concentrated frown plastering his face. Every once and a while he twist to a different position. His eyes never left his textbook, even to scribble something in a notebook beside him. Presea had gone to Iselia to gather more supplies and food to fill the pantry, leaving Genis to watch over Colette.

Colette glanced at Genis and sighed, her hand slipping from Noishe. The protozoan lifted his head, staring up at her expectantly, but Colette ignored him.

Ever since the incident in Iselia involving Lloyd and the angels, Genis and Presea hadn't left her side. It aggravated her, knowing that there was no reason for the protection, but she didn't argue. She closed her mouth and tried to forget the reason why they were there, though it was difficult.

Genis was especially hard to get along with at the moment. He avoided talking to Colette, though she could tell he desperately wanted to. Colette figured Presea told him to keep his distance.

Colette bit her lip, then pushed herself up and walked over to him. Genis didn't even seem to notice her until her shadow passed over him and he looked up sharply as she sat down next to him. "What are you studying?" she asked.

He stared at her, before tapping his pencil against his book, eyes falling back to the text. "Spell usage and body mana ratios."

"Oh, I didn't know that was a topic—"

"It's not. I'm studying how to power up my spells and make them more effective."

Colette frowned, turning away from Genis, his eyes still focused on the paper. She understood his subtly, the bitterness behind his words not even masked. "But your spells are already awfully strong."

"Not strong enough," he answered flatly.

For a moment, the scratch of his pencil was the only sound between them. Colette glanced over where Noishe still laid, sleeping. Then suddenly the pencil scratches stopped and Colette looked back over at Genis to see him staring blankly at his book. "Genis...?"

"Why did he come back?" The question was abrupt and emotionless.

Colette closed her eyes, forcing herself not to answer him. She did not want to do this again. She didn't want to fight with him. She felt Genis' eyes on her and folded her hands, gripping them tightly.

"I'm going to force him to tell me," Genis pressed. "If he shows his face here again, I'm going to force him to talk."

She turned her gaze on him, studying his gangly form, mentally comparing him to Lloyd and found herself smiling weakly. It would be impossible for Genis. Lloyd was still much taller than Genis, stronger and more skilled. She knew Lloyd would stay only if he chose to. She could only hope that he would for both his own sake and Genis'.

With sharp snap, Genis closed the book and got to his feet, gathering his notes. Colette watched him stand and wander into the house, leaving her out on the grass. Noishe whined where he laid, his dark eyes watching her eagerly, hoping she would come back over to him. She smiled at the protozoan and rose, walking back towards him, laughing as his tail thumped happily. Noishe rarely left the clearing anymore. Colette wondered if he was waiting for Lloyd to return too.

She stayed out there for a couple hours, half-dozing against the tree, Noishe's massive head resting on her lap, her hand unconsciously stroking the crest of his head. She faintly heard the clang of dishes as Genis prepared the evening meal. Noishe whined, his nose twitching as he smelled the food wafting from the house and rose to his feet, padding towards the smell. Colette watched him then got up as well to follow.

"Colette?"

She spun around at the sound of her name to find Raine and Presea walking over the bridge. Raine carried satchels of supplies, but passed them to Presea as they approached, embracing Colette. "I'm so glad to see you alright. Genis told me what happened and Presea filled in some of the details about your exile." She shook her head sadly. "Fear makes people do foolish things, they shouldn't have banished—"

"No, Raine, they are right. I am a threat to the village." Colette reached over and took one of the bags. "I shouldn't have been in there in the first place."

Raine frowned, but didn't respond. The three women headed toward the house, Colette's anxiety rising with her old teacher gaze on her back. Genis looked up as they came in, a crooked grin spreading on his face as he hurried over to Presea to take the groceries. "I'll take those. Hey, Raine. Made it back in good time, just about done making supper. So what did the old coot have to say? Did you learn anything?" His voice tensed as he addressed his sister, trying to keep his emotions level.

Colette looked at Genis sharply and in confusion. "Old coot?"

"Raine spoke to Yuan about Lloyd." Presea filled her in. "Being a Cruxian himself, he would know more about Lloyd's situation."

Nodding, Raine looked at Colette carefully. "He did confirm that Lloyd was alive and in Cruxis, but he wouldn't give any details, which was infuriating."

"Oh..." Colette bit her lip and turned to help Presea put away the food. "What did he tell you?"

"He said I should speak with Lloyd, myself, which I intend to do. But..." she paused, "I was hoping you would tell me a little more of what's going on, Colette."

The room fell silent and Colette glanced back at her, meeting Raine's stern and unyielding gaze. Genis was watching expectantly, gripping a half filled plate of food, which gently took from his shaking hands.

"I'd prefer to...explain after we eat. I don't want to start another argument and make everyone lose their appetite," she said it with a half-smile, but she was really just trying to buy herself some time to think about what she would tell them.

It was a tense and stressful evening as Colette explained what she knew without betraying the harsh details of Lloyd's past. She outlined the basics, telling them he hadn't been able to leave Derris Kharlan and was forced to go through the transformation. She left out that Kratos was his father, believing that was private. Genis interrupted periodically when she explained his reasons for staying in Cruxis.

"Protect us! How is he protecting us by being our enemy?" He shoved his chair away from the table, fingers gripping the table edge.

"Genis, calm down." Raine admonished him and turned to Colette, her gaze harsh. "I find that a bit hard to believe Colette. Did you consider that was just an excuse to let him get closer to you?"

"Why would he lie about that?" Colette countered, frowning. "If he wanted to take me back to Cruxis, he could have done that already. He already tried once, but he let me go!"

Colette regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. Raine leaned back in shock and Genis' mouth dropped before his face flushed in anger. "He what?"

"H-He let me go. That's what matters—"

"Are you listening to yourself, Colette?" Genis snapped, rising to his feet. "You just said he _tried_ to take you to Cruxis! Lloyd would never even consider that in the first place!"

Colette shook her head, frustrated. "It doesn't matter! He let me go! If really was our enemy he wouldn't do that!"

"He's using you, Colette." Raine shook her head. "He let you go, to watch you and lure us out. It would explain why he refused to explain himself to Genis, most likely why the angels attacked you at Iselia. He knew you were here."

Presea frowned slightly, defending Colette. "However, Lloyd did aid us in that fight."

"Only because Colette was endanger." Genis scoffed, scowling as he looked at Colette. "He didn't want you getting injured because they need you alive. But he didn't care about me or Presea."

Colette clenched her teeth, lowering her head; she knew arguing was useless at this point. They didn't want to hear the truth. Raine thought her delusional. Genis was confused and in denial and Presea relied on the facts given to her, though Colette was grateful for Presea's earlier comment.

"We understand how difficult this is Colette." Raine reached for her hand gently. "To find out Lloyd is alive and under these circumstances can confuse—"

"I'm not confused." Colette cut her off sharply and stood. "How can you talk about him like this? He is your friend!"

"Was," Genis snapped. "We aren't the betrayers here, Colette. He's the one who's the traitor!"

Colette shook her head. "No he isn't, Genis. Why can't you see that?" She didn't even wait for a response, but turned and fled upstairs to the room. She bit her tongue to keep from shouting out in frustration and hopelessness. She dropped on to the bed, covering her face and breathing deeply to calm herself down. Any thoughts about telling Raine about her pregnancy vanished immediately. How could she tell them now? How could she and then not tell them who the father was? How would they react to know Lloyd was-They would be horrified if they knew...

After a minute, she glanced up, peering through her fingers to notice a white envelope resting on the corner of the desk. She blinked and glanced around the room before reaching for it. It was blank on both sides. She frowned and then slipped her finger under the flap, tugging it open and pulling a small slip of paper out.

_So you know I'll never leave you. Wait for me,_

_Love Lloyd_

Colette stared at it uncomprehendingly, then looked back at the envelope realizing there was something else inside. She tipped it and a small ring fell into her palm. The metal was smooth and slender with intricate carvings lacing the surface. A small crystalline gem sat snugly in a tiny clasp, glittering as it caught the light from her window.

Colette stared at the tiny ring in her hand, her eyes tearing up before she slowly curled her fingers around it.

* * *

People whispered cautiously, women touching their delicate hands to their mouths, eyes curious and speculating, and men suspicious and wary, taking defensive stances. They watched from a distance, but Lloyd could hear every callous, curious remark that slipped from their loose tongues and fluttery lips. He avoided meeting their eyes, but he watched them, nevertheless, as he approached the massive cathedral in a smooth easy stride.

He drew attention, no doubt. He had slipped through the merchant level of the city without so much trouble, just another traveller to the commoners. However, on the upper levels of Meltokio, where prestige and nobility showed in both attitude and dress, Lloyd stood out like a beacon. They didn't know what to make of him. He was too rough to belong to their ranks, yet his behaviour was clearly of higher class. He scoffed as he listened to the beginnings of a gossip yarn taking form and he waved aside a young door boy and pushed open the church doors with an easy shove. High-class people were so predictable, he thought to himself.

His eyes cast about the familiar building, briefly pausing at the pews where he had been introduced to Tethe'alla's Chosen all those years ago. He wondered where the famous Wilder might be, but the thought lasted barely a moment before he caught sight of a pastor passing by.

"Excuse me." He stepped in the man's path.

The pastor stopped shortly, annoyance flashing across his weathered face as he frowned up at Lloyd. The man kept a civil tone, however, hiding his irritation. "What can I do for you, young man?"

"I need to speak with the Pope, if you could direct me to his office," Lloyd answered.

The older man frowned, eyes glancing at a side door Lloyd had noticed earlier. The pastor quickly turned back, shaking his head. "I'm afraid his eminence is busy at the moment. Perhaps I could answer any questions you have."

"I doubt that,"

"Then I suggest you return at a later time, perhaps after evening mass tonight, you could set up an appointment." The pastor had become curt, obviously not impressed with Lloyd's candour and lack of respect.

Lloyd sighed and then brushed past the man, walking towards the door the pastor had looked at. "I'd prefer to be done with this matter immediately."

"Young man, you can't go in there!" The pastor exclaimed heatedly, shuffling after him as Lloyd pulled open the wooden door.

Lloyd disregarded the elder and stepped inside, closing the door behind him with a firm jerk. He fastened his eyes on the startled man sitting behind a polished ornate desk. The man hadn't changed much since Lloyd had first seen him. His size was still complimentary to his ego it seemed, which obviously had become larger over the past few years. A faint redness to his puckered face enhanced the sign of aging. His robes were tighter than Lloyd recalled, the little man's stoutness filling out the decorated material.

"Who are you? What are you doing in my office?" The plump man demanded hotly, struggling to rise from his seat.

In the same breath, Lloyd raised his hand, cutting him off as he stepped forward. "I only desire some information, Sir." The title seemed to ease the man slightly, no doubt flattering him. Lloyd suppressed his annoyance and continued. "I'm looking for Duke Bryant, President of the Lezareno Company."

The request caught the man off guard, but before he could reply, the door slammed open, emitting a couple of guards and the flustered pastor. "I am sorry, your eminence, for allowing this man to barge—"

Lloyd cast a withering glare in his direction, taking in the Papal Knights and then turned his back on them. "I just need his whereabouts and I'll be on my way."

The pope lifted a hand, halting the knights as they stepped towards Lloyd, prepared to remove him. The corpulent man chuckled loudly, his full cheeks spreading into a wicked smile. "Duke Bryant is currently in the Meltokio prison cells at the coliseum." He waved absently at the pastor, dismissing him, but the guards remained next to the door. "What business do you have with the Duke? And what was your name again?"

Lloyd regarded him, eyes flitting to the papers spread across the desk absently as he spoke. "You may address me as Aurion, but my business is my own. Will I be able to gain entry without hassle so I can speak with him?"

The pope's chortle died off, but the smile lingered sickeningly. "Unlikely." He paused and Lloyd stared at him silently before he grunted and plopped back into his seat, which groaned in protest. "I'll write a quick note and sign it. It'll allow you permission to meet Duke Bryant."

The pen scratched away and Lloyd again let his eyes wander on the papers. A couple of phrases caught his interest as well as a few names before the pope's arm slid out and handed him the note. "I can't see why you'd want to talk to that fool, but that's your business as you said." He waved his hand as if to dismiss him.

Lloyd didn't move, tucking the letter into a pocket, eyes watching the man before flickering to the papers again. "What sort of religious activities requires the use of exspheres?"

"Excuse me?"

"No doubt the peoples' donations are purchasing the bulk of them." Lloyd commented drily and the pope's face darkened.

"Escort him out!" he ordered the guards.

The Knights stepped forward, but Lloyd slid from their reach and ducked between them, walking to the door slowly. He smirked as he listening to the stout man huffing as he scrambled to collect the papers that had betrayed him. It wouldn't hurt to keep that information in mind, see if he could get a little satisfaction in jeopardizing the pope's reputation.

Lloyd returned to the streets, casting an experienced eye at the surroundings before he caught sight of the coliseum above the neighbouring buildings. Lloyd descended one level, navigating from the quiet streets into one of the more crowded areas. Armoury and weapon shops occupied the one corner of the street, shaded by the coliseum immense walls. Groups of people lingered outside the entry, guffawing and bragging about their fights, comparing skills and techniques with other competitors. Lloyd figured many of them would be placing bets as well. Some of them gave him approving glances, thinking he was another competitor, but he ignored them and entered the front gate.

Pulling out the paper without a word, the receptionist read it and quickly pointed to a door to her right. "Go through there and speak to the guard at the far wall." She sounded disappointed and he felt her watching him as he followed her directions. As interesting as it might be, he could be bothered wasting time in a pointless battle. Perhaps when he had time to spare later...

He found the guard and similarly showed him the letter and was let in without a question. Lloyd scoffed at how careless the security was, but perhaps he could use it in his favour later on. The passage was dark and damp, the smell of moisture strong in the enclosed area. He walked slowly down the small corridor and entered the prison block. An assortment of murmurings and hushed voices met his ears when a guard approached him.

"What are you doing in here?" The man snapped, eyeing Lloyd over carefully.

Lloyd lifted the paper. "I have permission from the Pope to speak with Duke Bryant, could you lead me to him?"

The guard squinted at the paper in the poor light then spat to the side. "Yeah, alright, he's down at the far end." He motioned for Lloyd to follow him.

Hands gripped the metal bars as they passed the cells, shadowed faces watching with glittering eyes, curious and hopeful. They were a pitiful sight. Beggars, ruffians and thieves sentenced to participate in the fighting matches above. He was certain there'd be a number of commoners as well, though he doubted they'd last long.

The guard stopped by a slightly larger cell at the end of the block, jerking his head at it. Lloyd gave him a nodded. "I'd like to speak with him in privacy."

Grunting, the guard looked him over suspiciously, but left without a word, sauntering back to his post near the front entrance. Lloyd turned his attention to the figure within the cell. "Duke Bryant?"

"It has been some years since anyone has addressed me with that title. Who are you?" The figure spoke, his voice deep and sophisticated. Lloyd knew without a doubt, he was the man he was looking for.

"My name isn't important, but for formality, you may call me Aurion." Lloyd shifted. "I heard you are here under your own discretion, Lord Bryant?"

"Please call me, Regal." The man stood and approached the bars. For a man of forty years, Lloyd was impressed by his appearance. Regal was by no means a small man, matching Lloyd for height and surpassing him in build. It was a wonder how he could maintain such a physique being imprisoned, but Lloyd supposed the long hours left plenty of time to work out and possible coliseum matches.

"Very well, Regal. I understand that your sentence has been carried out, yet you still remain here in prison."

Regal remained quiet, studying Lloyd as well before answering, "I do not believe a crime can be justified by prison years. I committed murder, as you probably know. That person's life is over."

"So you remain here? I find it hard to see how this justifies murder either. Despite your actions, you still have responsibilities to attend to."

"Responsibilities I had forfeited." Regal countered calmly. "I left my business and company in good hands. I remain here because this is what I deserve." He lifted his hands bearing hard iron manacles that clinked as he moved.

"You pity yourself, Duke Bryant," Lloyd pressed. "The world changes around you and you don't even realize it. Your company manager has passed away, leaving your company in the hands of a squabbling group of council members that threaten to disrupt the organization. Lezareno is the largest producer of goods and services in all Tethe'alla on the brink of collapse and the mines in the Toize Valley are threatened also. Are you willing to let your family business crumble while you mourn here?"

Lloyd knew he was crossing a line. Obviously, Regal regretted what he had done and Lloyd could sympathize, but he also knew that it was necessary to make the President understand the cause and effect he was having beyond his cell walls.

Regal was frowning, studying Lloyd carefully and warily. "Who are you that you would seek me out? What concern is the fall of my company for you?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm here to convince you that despite what you think, you are desperately needed."

"I think you fail to understand. I murdered someone dear to me, a crime that can never be forgiven. How could I possibly return to my old life and forget it happened simply for the sake of a business?"

Clenching his teeth in irritation, Lloyd barely controlled his outburst. "I am not asking that you forget and you don't have to do it for yourself. Do it for the employees, do it for your customers. Damn it, just do it for economy for all I care. But you are hardly making up for mistakes remaining in here." Lloyd pointed at him, glaring. "It's your choice to forget what happened or you can use that and develop from it."

"You nothing about what you speak of." Regal frowned, shaking his head.

"I know more than you think, Duke Bryant. But, I've wasted enough time here. What you do after this is no longer my problem, but I suggest you think about it." He didn't even wait for a respond, but turned on his heel and strode away. The guard gave him little more than a suspicious glance as Lloyd walked past him out of the prison.

People stepped out of his path eagerly and Lloyd realized his expression was most likely terrifying them. He paid them little mind, leaving them whispering frantically. He despised people like Regal Bryant, those who had a second chance and squandered it. He was being hypocritical in a way, Lloyd knew, but the circumstances were different. Regal had paid his sentence and rather than choosing freedom, he remained in prison, afraid. Lloyd simply knew that the opportunity was there for himself as well, but the consequences were too dire for those he wished to protect.

He re-entered the crowded street and headed for the main square when someone fell in step beside him. Lloyd cast a glanced at the hooded figure and sighed in irritation. "I can't see why you force me to do these expeditions for you when you obviously spy on me anyway."

"Experience," Yuan answered, as if that single word could reason out everything. "Besides, Yggdrasill wants you kept busy, what better way than socializing with the convicted Duke whose falling company can collapse an entire world?"

"Spare me your sarcasm. I did what you told me to do. Whether I convinced him or not is your problem, not mine." Lloyd shouldered past the half-elf, hoping to deter the older man. Unfortunately, Yuan just grabbed his arm and pulled him under one of the giant archways that above the stairs.

"Something put you in a foul mood." Yuan, tugged off his hood, immediately gaining looks from the people on the streets as they caught sight of his intense blue hair.

Lloyd scowled, but decided to ignore his comment. The quicker Yuan said what he wanted, the quicker Lloyd would be done here. "What do you want, Yuan?"

"A related matter for you to deal with, I want you to find a man named Vharley. He's a major exsphere broker." Yuan whispered, watching the people passing.

"How is that related?" Lloyd asked annoyed.

"You will figure that out yourself. You will more than likely find him at the Toize Valley mine, he and some of his hired mercenaries have been attempting to break into the mine for the past year or so. Fortunately, the guard system manages to keep them out."

"I can't see the significance of this mission. If he's unable to gain entrance, what is the risk?" Lloyd frowned.

"We believe he has been dealing with Rodyle, who has been working behind Cruxis' back. Kvar's research notes concerning the Angelus Project vanished shortly after his death. The only reason Rodyle would desire large amounts of expsheres, should he have taken the notes, would be to create a Cruxis Crystal."

"I understand." Lloyd sighed, rubbing his face. Lloyd personally wanted to deal with this situation, but it wasn't as if he had a choice in the matter. "What do you want me to do with the man once I find him?"

Yuan shrugged. "Kill him, if you want, or bring him in and have him arrested. I'm sure Duke Bryant would be extremely interested to know who has been disturbing his mine."

Something in the way Yuan spoke, told Lloyd he knew something more about the two men's relationship. The irritating part of it was Yuan wouldn't bother to explain himself. He'd let Lloyd figure out the details on his own.

"Fine. I'll deal with Vharley." He paused as Yuan tugged up his hood. "What will you do?"

"I need to check on the young queen. Apparently, she's fallen ill just as her father had. Without another heir, Tethe'alla will be near chaos in trying to find a new leader should her state worsen." Yuan answered, almost bored. Lloyd smirked, knowing Yuan didn't give a damn about the state of the worlds. He was more concerned about finding a way to defeat Yggdrasill.

Yuan didn't give so much as a wave as his farewell, walking away and slipping up towards the noble quarters. Lloyd watched until he vanished from view before dislodging himself from the shadows. He noticed of a few young women watching, giggling as he caught their eye. He broke the contact and strode quickly down the steps, blending into the crowded streets and made his way to the gates. Dusk was falling and he was the only one leaving the city, but it mattered little to him. By the time the sun would set, Lloyd would have located the mines and hopefully, in a few days this Vharley character.

He spread his wings once he was fair distance from the city and stretched them out, staring up at the fading light before flapping them once and rising up into the air. While his eyes searched for the telltale land signs, his mind relaxed and wandered to earlier that morning.

Lloyd wondered if Colette had found the letter, yet. More than likely. He swallowed, his stomach tightening into a knot. It had been an awkward letter; one that he had hesitated and pondered over a dozen times before he finally accepted it. He regretted leaving it as soon as he left the room and seen her dozing beneath the tree with Noishe's head on her lap. It would have been better to present the ring to her himself. He knew that. However, he felt he couldn't wait. He needed her to know how he felt and that he would come back. He hated being away from her and it tortured him to leave her wondering if he was ever coming back; however, the ring was a promise he would go back to her...

Lloyd had no idea how long he would be expected to remain in Tethe'alla. One thing seemed to leading to another, connected at tangents that could wrap him up into a large political and economical mess. The papers on the pope's desk came back to mind and Lloyd already figured out that Vharley was in league with the church as well. It would be safe to say that Rodyle was the hand behind the entire concept, as well. However, what role did Regal play in this mess? He owned the mines that held the exspheres, of course, but Lloyd had a feeling it was much more than that.

He sighed and went back to searching for the mines, though his mind returned to Colette.

**Please Review.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Listening to** Hurricane by 30 Seconds to Mars**. Good song, deep meaning. Sort of fits the mood.**

**Anyway, two weeks seems so long. University is a pain. Oh well. Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing. Enjoy. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 17:**

The days were going by slowly and Colette found herself growing more and more anxious. It had been over two months now, since meeting Lloyd. A couple weeks had passed since Lloyd had gone to Tethe'alla, and Colette could no longer deny the small bump that was forming on her abdomen. The morning sickness had eased off, but that did nothing to quell her nerves. Her hand rubbed the bump absently as she stared at her stomach. It wasn't pronounced enough yet for others to notice, thankfully, but she had never felt more self-conscious than she did now. She closed her eyes, breathing deeply as she tried to sort out her worries.

She was pregnant with Lloyd's child.

Her stomach fluttered at the thought, anticipation and happiness surging through her, temporarily over-running the fear and earlier concerns. A baby. She never believed she'd ever bear a child of her own. Her life had never permitted such a future for herself. Her obligation as a Chosen to die at the age of sixteen and, afterwards, running from Cruxis. It was something she had never believed could happen with her and yet, here she was. And it was Lloyd's! She couldn't help but smile, already trying to imagine him as a father, cradling the small baby in his large hands. It seemed so strange, yet so perfect. She knew he would make a wonderful father.

She rose from her bed, her hand still resting on her stomach and walked to the window to look out. Genis was wrestling with Noishe and losing horribly, while Presea watched them quietly. Raine was downstairs working on one thing or another. She stared out the window sadly. She couldn't tell them whose child it was. Not yet. If they couldn't even accept Lloyd, how would they accept her having his child? How would they react to such news? How would Lloyd react?

The giddiness inside faded. She had completely forgotten how shocking this news would be for him, how stressful. He might see it as another problem—No she wouldn't let him think that. She would not let him see it as anything but a gift, a dream. It was their child, their baby, and they would be a family.

She sighed and lifted her left hand, the ring glittering before she slipped it off and walked over to the desk, placing it inside a small box. She looked at it longingly, knowing she couldn't even tell them about that. With a sigh she headed down the stairs

Colette felt as if she would burst when she saw Raine, sitting at the table with a book in hand. She wanted so badly to tell the others the news. To see their shock and excitement. To let her own excitement show. But she kept the news to herself and greeted Raine with a warm smile, keeping her hands to the side as she stepped off the stairs. "Good morning, Raine."

Raine looked up from her book and returned the smile. "Good morning, Colette. Are you hungry?"

Colette glanced at the unidentifiable meal on her teacher's plate and quickly shook her head. "No, not at the moment." She started to collect the other dishes from the table and carry them to the basin.

"Colette, can I talk to you for a moment?" Raine placed her book down.

"About what?"

"I know it is hard to pick up and move after you've settled in and comfortable, but don't you think it's time you found a new location?" Raine inquired.

Colette frowned as she walked back to the table. "Why would I move? No one knows I am here."

"Colette, there is a Desian ranch just a short distance from here." Raine shook her head. "You can't possibly think they won't send scouts out or get suspicious of any noise coming from this area."

"Raine, please, don't worry about me. If the Desians get too close I will leave. But, right now, I am safe. They don't know I am here and as long as you don't mention to anyone that I am, they'll never know." She left out Lloyd's rumour about her death, for the moment. It would be too difficult to try to explain why Cruxis believed her dead and it was better to avoid mentioning Lloyd altogether. Though Raine seemed reluctant to end the conversation, she didn't comment further. Colette did not want an awkward silence to settle upon the room and quickly changed the subject.

"Genis has definitely grown up, hasn't he?"

Raine smiled wistfully and shook her head. "Unfortunately, too much and not enough. I would never have categorized Genis under impulsive, but teenage hormones definitely to affect him. It becomes harder and harder to reason with him."

"Presea seems to do alright with him," Colette pointed out.

"I don't know how that girl does it." Raine shook her head. "Her patience and strength are the only things that keep him in line. I don't think even Genis realizes how much he depends on her."

Colette smiled, glancing at the window as she listened to Genis shout indignantly over Noishe's whines. "I think they make a good couple."

Raine hesitated and then nodded, tucking her hair back. "Yes. They do, don't they? They grew up so fast. You all did." She looked over at her. "It's hard to believe, even after all these years."

"I think you are just being nostalgic," Colette teased good-naturedly. "We haven't been kids for some time now."

"You all are still children in my eyes. And Genis is still immature in many aspects as well, even if he won't admit," Raine countered and then smiled. "But you are right in some ways."

Colette returned the smile. Hidden by the table, her hand lifted and laid it upon her stomach. _In more than one_, Colette though happily.

* * *

The heavy panicked breathing filled the room, an irritating and irregular rhythm. The air stunk of fear and anger, emitted from the bound man in the corner of the room. Russet eyes lingered on him indifferently before sliding back to the door with a hint of impatience. A message had been sent earlier that morning for the Duke to come to the commoner inn near the city gate on the first level. No time had been specified; however, the wait was trying.

Lloyd shifted his weight, the chair creaking from the movement and momentarily interrupted the silence. A single candle flickered on the table, casting shadows across the incapacitated man. Lloyd didn't have to look to know the harsh eyes were glaring at him fervently, the fat, flushed face red with indignation and fear. Vharley had been a pitiful man for Lloyd to have to hunt down; almost insulting in how cowardly he attempted to flee. Lloyd had waited for nearly a week and then easily dealt with his second-hand mercenaries when they showed up. He had waited to see how Vharley would react.

He had run.

Lloyd closed his eyes, listening to the wheezed breaths coming through Vharley's gag. It hadn't taken much to catch him. In fact, he hadn't even reached the entrance of the mine before Lloyd dealt him a blow to the back of his head. After that, Lloyd spent a good deal of time pondering over what to do with the man. He had considered killing him, as Yuan suggested, but a part of him was curious as to how the Duke was connected to him. As a result, Lloyd had bound and gagged the man and brought him with him to Meltokio. There had been a small argument with the guards at the city gates, but Lloyd managed to convince them that the man was a criminal and broke into the mines.

Footsteps in the hall caused him to open his eyes with a snap, but the person walked passed their door without stopping. Beyond, he could hear the guffawing and shouts from the dining area below them, becoming more boisterous as the day drew to an end.

Lloyd sighed and rose from the chair, crossing the room to gaze out the window. Vharley grunted, but Lloyd ignored him his eyes studying the emptying streets. He wasn't sure how much time passed when he finally heard the knock on the door.

"Come in, Duke Bryant." Lloyd responded, turning as the door opened.

The candlelight flickered across the elder man's face as he stepped into the room, still dressed in prison clothes and wearing the cuffs. His form filled the doorway, a pair of metal greaves clinking with every step as he paused and regarded Lloyd and then Vharley. The noble face contorted in a hidden pain and rage as Regal's eyes locked with Vharley, the latter shaking his head and attempting to shout through the gag.

"I hope they gave you no trouble." Lloyd drew Regal's attention, allowing the conflicted gaze to fall upon him. "Would they not remove the cuffs?"

"I prefer to keep them as a reminder."

Lloyd nodded and left it at that. He motioned to Vharley. "This man has attempted to break into the Toize Valley Mines. Before sending him to the prisons, I thought it would be justified to allow you to see the offender personally."

Vharley seemed to shrink within himself, cowering like whipped dog, a pathetic sight in every aspect. Sweat glistened on his rounded face and his thick hands struggled against the rope around his hands.

"Why did you ask me here?" Regal's voice was taut.

Lloyd watched him silently, knowing it was a rhetorical question. Regal knew very well why he was asked here, he just didn't know how much Lloyd knew. When Lloyd never answered, Regal turned to face him, his expression lost between anguish and undeniable rage. "Who sent you to find this man? Who are you?"

"You despise him. He's caused you grief of some kind," Lloyd answered, completely ignoring his questions. "Yet, I wonder if having him placed in prison would be enough for you."

"No, it wouldn't." Regal stared at him. "But you seemed to know that already, don't you, Aurion?"

"I only know what you have told me."

Regal seemed to consider his words. Vharley was struggling now, futilely attempting to loosen the bonds. The candle sparked once and then Regal looked to Vharley. "He placed an exsphere on the woman I loved, Alicia Combatir. She was unable to control it and she transformed into a..." he trailed off.

Lloyd's russet eyes flashed towards Vharley in contempt. A flash of an old woman and a towering exbula made Lloyd shake his head, his gaze narrowing dangerously on the gagged man. "And you were forced to kill her."

Regal bowed his head in shame, guilt and sadness. Lloyd needed nothing else to know what had transpired. Vharley had attempted to create an Angelus Project host, to create a Cruxis Crystal from the young woman, just as Kvar had with Lloyd's own mother.

"You can kill him," Lloyd stated flatly. "He won't be missed."

Vharley let out a muffled exclamation, but Lloyd didn't so much as look at him. Regal frowned and stared at his hands. "You give me authority to end a man's life?"

"I give you nothing, Duke Bryant, save for an opportunity. This man is in cooperation with the Pope of the Martel Church. If sent to prison, he would simply appeal to him and unquestionably be set free. I have little doubt that this man has experimented on dozens of other victims." Lloyd snapped his gaze to Regal's. "He's not leaving Meltokio alive, regardless of your decision."

Vharley paled at Lloyd's words and then began to scream, nothing more than a shriek through the gag. His face red and eyes frantic. He thrashed, trying to free himself. Lloyd watched him disgustedly as did Regal. "I cannot kill a bound man like this."

"Then perhaps we should take him to a place more convenient."

The stench of the sewers was intense, but the men were not concerned about that. Vharley had struggled in vain, as Lloyd practically dragged him and dropped him down the manhole. Regal followed silently, conflicted by his conscience and desire for revenge. Vharley would die tonight; it was just a matter of who would deal the blow. Lloyd would allow Regal the choice, since it mattered little to Lloyd how the man died.

Lloyd slashed off the ropes and Vharley instantly grabbed at the gag, scrambling across the damp stone. He limped, the fall into the sewers obviously having injured his leg. "You can't do this! You will be arrested again, Regal! The Pope will not stand for it!"

Regal regarded the threats indifferently and Lloyd approached him with his sword levelled at his chest. Vharley paled and stumbled to escape, but Lloyd grabbed is collar and spun him around, throwing him against the wall. Vharley grunted in pain and Lloyd stared at him coldly. "What are your dealings with the Pope?" The blade pressed up against Vharley's gullet, and the stench of the man's sweat filled Lloyd's nose.

Vharley seethed as he cursed Lloyd. "Why the hell would I tell you anything?"

"You are right. You are going to die either way." Lloyd shifted Vharley higher with one hand still gripping his collar. The large man gasped and choked. "However, I suppose it depends on how much pain you want to go through before it happens." He lowered the blade so it slid across the man's shoulder, pressing against his upper arm to draw blood.

His eyes widened drastically and he thrashed in Lloyd's grip, kicking his legs desperately. Lloyd shifted to the side, out of Vharley's reach, watching him struggle calmly. Regal stood in the shadows, his expression calm, but upsetting.

"You can't kill me!" Vharley wailed in panic.

"Try me."

"I was only following orders! I just sell exspheres! I wasn't the one who put that exsphere on Alicia!"

"Who did?" Lloyd pressed, quickly losing his patience.

"A Desian! Rodyle! He asked for a human to make a Cruxis Crystal! I brought him the girls! That's it! "

Lloyd relaxed his grips slightly. "What about the Pope? What is your connection to him? Tell me and I will let you go."

Vharley didn't hesitate. "He's been poisoning the Queen! I bring him the poison and he pays me!"

"And the exspheres?"

"I don't know! He could be selling them. Anyone will pay to have an exsphere! That's all I know!"

Lloyd narrowed his eyes and then stepped back, dropping the snivelling man to the ground and sheathed his sword. He walked back to Regal and nodded. "I got what I needed from him. Kill him if you wish."

"What? No! You said you would let me go!" Vharley cried out.

Lloyd raised an eyebrow at him. "I did. I can't speak for Duke Bryant though."

Without waiting, Lloyd swiftly climbed out of the sewer, the low hiss of Regal's voice following him out onto the street. "This place will be your grave, Vharley."

There was a muffled scream and a short scuffle, followed by a sickening crack and then silence. Lloyd glanced around him, the street empty. A soft breeze blew through the flowerbeds, twisting the petals and leaves in a dance. He watched them as he heard Regal climb out behind him. Thunder rumbled above them and Lloyd smelled rain in the air. Regal stood beside him, staring up at the blackening sky.

"Revenge is empty. If gives little satisfaction in the end." His deep voice broke the through the thick air.

"You've saved future lives." Lloyd countered. "And he was punished. That is all you could really ask for in such a situation."

"Hmm." Regal glanced at him. "Why did you find him? Why do you care for things that don't concern you?"

Lloyd smirked at the questions, searching the sky as if it held the real answer. He settled for the congenial response, in the end. "I was following orders."

"Just orders?"

"Yes."

Regal fell silent and then shook his head. "I don't believe that."

"Believe what you will." Lloyd hesitated. "What will you do now?"

"Return to my company as you suggested. After all, it's the least I can do to repay you and you were right. I fled my responsibilities. Once I have ascertained it's running properly, I will seek out Alicia's sister."

Lloyd looked at him questioningly. "Why her sister?"

"Vharley said he brought this Rodyle multiple girls." Regal closed his eyes. "I need to be sure her elder sister was not a victim as well."

"Alicia was a Combatir, correct?" Lloyd asked after a moment.

"Yes."

"Her sister you speak of would be Presea then."

Regal frowned. "Yes, but how do you know this?"

"That's irrelevant. However, you don't need to concern yourself about Presea. She's looked after and in a safe place." Lloyd held up a hand, cutting off further questions. "That's all you need to know. If I were you, I'd stay out of her life. You are her sister's killer, after all."

Regal nodded stiffly. "You are right. Thank you." He offered his hand. "If you ever need assistance do not hesitate to ask the Lezareno Company for aid. We will do what we can."

Lloyd regarded the hand and slowly took it, shaking awkwardly with the cuffed man. He released it quickly and turned. "I'll keep that in mind, Duke Bryant." He didn't even look back as he made his way to the inn. He was alert for Yuan's appearance, but it seemed the half-elf was absence for the moment, preoccupied with other things. That suited Lloyd perfectly fine. He knew what he would be obliged to do next, in any case.

* * *

The Church was silent, the creak off the heavy doors shattering it as Lloyd slipped inside and closed them gently behind him. A few lone candles flickered sadly in the darkness, weak against the dark stonewalls, but Lloyd walked unhindered, his eyesight penetrating easily through the darkness. He walked straight to the little door at the back wall of the Cathedral and tried the handle. Locked, as he had suspected. He sighed and then quickly picked the simple lock and pushed the door open. The office was dark, only the faint light from the candles behind Lloyd illuminated the little room.

Lloyd closed the door, letting his eyes adjust before approaching the desk. He opened the center drawer and found wooden matches, quickly lit a candle. His eyes scanned the desk, the earlier papers gone, but that didn't deter him. He seated himself and began searching the drawers. It didn't take him long to discover the folder he was looking for. He flipped through the papers, scanning the contents concerning exspheres. As far as he could tell, Vharley had been right to assume the exspheres were been used for nothing but profit. He replaced the papers and continued to search the drawers. The bottom left draw held a small box filled with small vials. Lloyd lifted them up into the light. It was difficult to tell which one the poison was and if one was even an antidote. Regardless, he pocketed the vials, replaced the box, and stood. He pinched out the flame, bathing the room in darkness again and exited the room. There was an easy way to solve this.

Lloyd left the church to find it drizzling. Unaffected, he stepped out and angled towards the castle. A pair of guards stood at the doors and he watched them exasperatedly. He didn't want to cause a fuss by forcing his way in, but he didn't have liable excuse to enter in the early hours of the morning either. He turned his gaze skyward, scanning the windows and balconies and tapped his leg undecidedly.

If he waited until morning, he'd have soldiers to contend with when confronting the Pope. However, if he did it tonight, he'd also have the problem of voluntary cooperation. He did not want to appear the villain here. A stranger with the poison and antidote. Though conflicted, Lloyd turned around and headed back to the church. He'd replace the vials. In the morning would ask to speak with the Queen. He'd inform her that she had been poisoned and offer to bring in the culprit and ask for soldiers to apprehend the one responsible. Of course, they would mostly be there to witness the discovery.

Morning came slowly for Lloyd. He spent the remainder of the hours on the city walls watching the starlit sky. He allowed himself to think about Colette, what their future would be like. It was a grim glimpse and he focused instead on what he planned to do about Cruxis. He'd eventually need a way to leave the organization. The most obvious solution was to kill Yggdrasill, but to attempt that was foolish. With the power of the Eternal Sword and the summon spirits under Yggdrasill's hand any attempt would be suicide. He'd leave Yuan to the rash behaviour and ridiculous theories. Lloyd would bide his time and wait for the right moment to act.

He watched as the sun broke on the horizon and sighed, rising from his seat silently and descended the walls. Lloyd approached the castle and argued with the guards for a few minutes. It wasn't until he insisted that he knew how to heal the ill Queen that they relented, one of them travelling with him as an escort. Lloyd allowed the man to lead him through the castle. Civility would get him further in this than brash attitude. Asking him to wait outside the Queen's chambers, the guard entered inside. A few moments later, the door opened and the guard nodded, bidding him to enter.

The room was practically the same as when he had last seen it. Queen Hilda watched him enter, her features pale and her eyes dark and sunken, yet she smiled at him. Lloyd could see a flash of familiarity in her eyes, but it passed quickly as he bowed at the waist and addressed her. The impudent young man seven years ago, that had barged into the royal chambers couldn't possibly be him; he could almost decipher her thoughts. He straightened and remained a respectable distance, aware of the guard at his side. A young maid stood near the bedside, but she kept her head bent and Lloyd paid her no heed as he waited for the Queen to address him.

"May I ask your name, young man?" Her voice was as frail as her appearance, but there was still a hint of authority within it.

"I'm called Aurion, your Majesty." Lloyd responded, hoping she would not force him to give his full name.

She seemed content enough, or perhaps her current fatigued mind forwent suspicion. "My soldier tells me you know what ails me and how to cure it. Even after all the physicians and healers have failed." She teased, but Lloyd could detect the sceptical doubt and hope.

"You've been poisoned, my Lady." Lloyd stared directly at her. He saw the surprise and fear, but he continued calmly. "I learned it from a man that I knew had reliable sources concerning the matter. I fear for your life so I came to you directly to ask permission to apprehend the culprit."

"P-Poisoned?" She seemed to have difficulty comprehending the fact and Lloyd waited as it sunk in before pressing.

"Indeed, you Majesty."

"And you know who's done this?"

"Yes. However, for safety purposes I'd rather obtain the man before naming him. I'd be willing to allow you soldiers to witness it as well." Lloyd watched her carefully.

The Queen's eyes closed wearily, staying closed for a few minutes. Lloyd stood patiently until they opened slowly and she nodded. "Alright, but you must bring proof. Take two soldiers and bring the man in."

Lloyd inclined his head and turned motioning to the guard, who had been waiting at the doorway. "You, come with me."

On the way to the Cathedral, Lloyd grabbed another soldier. It was still early morning, but the young door boy was there and stared at them dumbly before scrambling to open the doors. Lloyd ignored the child and entered the church heading directly to the pope's office. The soldiers hesitated, but Lloyd gave them no time to question him and pushed open the door. "Wait for my word." He cautioned them. They said nothing, though Lloyd could tell they were uncertain.

The pope, startled, jerked in his seat. Huffing and trying to salvage dignity, he rose to his feet. "What is the meaning of this? Aurion, was it? How dare you barge into my office, again!"

Lloyd stepped forward, holding is hand up, leaving the guards at the door. "Vharley sends his greetings, _Sir_."

For a brief instant, Lloyd spotted the surprise and panic before the man desperately attempted to cover it. "I don't know who you talk about. You, soldiers, remove him from my office!"

The soldiers glanced at one another, but didn't respond and Lloyd stepped towards the desk. "How long have you been poisoning the Queen? And don't bother lying; Vharley was more than willing to give up the information."

"Insolence! You dare come in here and accuse me of this treason!" He backed up, pointy a snub little finger at him. The soldiers tensed but remained where they were. Lloyd couldn't tell whether they were respecting his accusations or preparing to defend the pope. Deciding it was time to bring out the proof he walked around the desk and began pulling open the drawers randomly, giving the illusion of searching.

"How dare you-?" He grabbed Lloyd's arm, but Lloyd shoved him back with a jerk of his arm and pulled open the last drawer. The pope froze as Lloyd lifted out the box with the vials in it and locked eyes with him.

"You were saying?"

The face paled and he started stuttering, but Lloyd closed the box and motioned for the guards. "Take him to the Queen."

The pope ranted and raved, trying to break away as the guards secured his arms, dragging him out the door. Lloyd watched, sighing heavily before following after. Maybe now he could go back to Sylvarant.

* * *

"Chosen, a messenger from the Queen stopped in."

Zelos leaned his head back over the arm of the couch, frowning. "Now what do they want?"

"She wishes for you go to the castle immediately," Sebastian answered calmly.

A tired sigh escaped him and he rose to his feet, brushing his long hair over his shoulder. Since losing most of his authority as the Chosen, Zelos had been confined within the Meltokio city. He was forced to have escorts wherever he went and had no voice in the council of the royal family. In some cases, the latter was appealing in its own way, but Zelos had begun wondering what the point of his life was anymore. He only existed to keep the people happy now. Then again, wasn't that always his purpose?

He stepped outside his home, the soldiers waiting as they always did and sauntered slowly to the castle. Women greeted him flirtatiously, but it wasn't with the same enthusiasm as it had a couple years ago. Word had gotten out that he was just a figurehead now that the pope had taken over his responsibilities. Now, it was just a habit for the women to still flounder around him.

A few minutes later, he was climbing the stairs to the Queen's chambers. It had been quite some time since he had last spoken to Hilda. She had been bed-ridden for a better part of the year and it wasn't as if he was expected to come consult with her anymore either.

Zelos jerked from his thoughts as the doors opened and a tall, young man strode out of the room. He was brown-haired, with red and black attire. He towered over Zelos a good couple of inches, but moved easily for such a tall figure. His expression was dark and russet eyes flashing; he was obviously upset about something. The quick glimpse was all Zelos got as the man shouldered past him, the man's pace quickening. Zelos blinked as he watched the figure disappear down the stairs.

A nagging feeling of familiarity coursed through Zelos as he stared at where the man vanished. He reminded him of someone, but he couldn't place who it was exactly. The hair and that face. He shrugged, it wasn't important. Might as well figure out what the Queen wanted and get it over with.

**Please Review.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Listening to **Closer to the Edge by 30 Seconds to Mars. **It's been a long two weeks. Lots happened, bad and good. *sigh* Glad it's the weekend finally and doing nothing, but sitting and relaxing. Hope you all enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 18:**

"Do you think he'd be happier with a boy or a girl? If it's a boy, he'd be able to train him, but then again, he'd train his daughter too. Lloyd wouldn't want his little girl to be vulnerable, would he Noishe?" Colette rocked slowly, arms wrapped around her legs as she stared up into the sky. Noishe's large ears twitched as he listened to her intently. "Of course, he's going to be awkward no matter what gender that baby is. I mean, look how long it took him to say he loved me? Or when he tried to make me breakfast?" She giggled and Noishe's tail swished back and forth excitedly.

Colette smiled, tucking her hair back. "It's still weird to think about. Being with child. I mean, I think I knew I was that day I ran to the village, but it never really sunk in, you know? There was so much other stuff happening that it sort of got pushed to the side."

Noishe whined, pawing at the ground, his nails ripping at the grass and he lowered his head. Colette patted him. "I know, I'm worried too. Deep down, I know this is extremely dangerous. For the baby, for Lloyd, and for me too. But we can't change what happened and I don't regret it." Her hand slid down and touched her belly, rubbing the small bump. In all honesty, she was afraid to tell Lloyd. A part of her knew he'd be a wonderful father, that he'd do anything for her and the baby. However, another part still haunted her, reminding her that Lloyd was different. He was colder and more logical. She was afraid of his initial reaction to the news would make him say something he would regret.

"I'll just have to convince him." She told herself firmly. "Whatever happens, I will force him to believe this is a good thing."

Noishe licked her arm and rose to his feet, stretching. Colette smiled and looked up at the sky again. It was a cool day with a warm breeze rustling the leaves overhead. The clearing was quiet, save for the birds chirping happily in the branches. Genis was inside studying again, left to watch her while his sister went to Iselia to help at the school and Presea to sell some of the charms she had been working on during her time here. In all honesty, Colette was starting to feel crowded with her friends hovering over her constantly. She relatively enjoyed spending time with them, but she couldn't help by feel suffocated at the same time.

Pursing her lips, Colette eyed the house for any sign of Genis and then stood up. She'd go for a walk. Noishe would be with her, so she could argue she wasn't alone if Genis discovered her gone. Knowing him, though, he'd be riveted into his textbooks and he wouldn't even realize she had left. She patted her leg for Noishe to follow her and set out over the bridge.

Light cascaded down around her in long, golden streams. The leaves waved, casting shadows across the path and her skin. Noishe padded ahead of her, snuffling through the underbrush, but never straying off the path. Even after all these years, he was still nervous to encounter monsters. He'd circle back and walk beside her, listening and watching their surroundings intently.

Colette smiled and rubbed his head, scratching behind his ear as they walked, her mind returning to her thoughts on the baby. She wondered who the child would look more like. Would it have blue eyes like her or Lloyd's deep brown? And what would its hair color be? How soon would it be before she started showing? Should she wait and tell Lloyd when she starts to show or before?

Millions of thoughts ran through her head, answering none of them. She'd let sort themselves out.

She barely noticed when Noishe stopped and growled softly, backing up into her. She blinked and looked down at him. He had gone rigid and Colette's eyes widened and immediately scanned the area, hand's flying behind her to unclip her chakrams.

Just as she undid the clip, a whistle of a crossbow bolt sped towards her and she dropped to the ground. Noishe barked sharply and darted away into the bush and off the trail, Colette scrambling after him. She got to her feet and took off at a dead run, away from Noishe. She wasn't about to endanger the protozoan and she could hide easier without him.

The shouts rose up seconds after and the forest crashed with the sound of running pursuers. She knew they were Desians. Only now did she realize that she had walked too far towards their territory. It had to have been a scout group. She had no idea if they had recognized her, but she was sure it wouldn't take them long to determine it.

Her face jerked to the side as a branch slashed across her face and she hissed in pain. She slowed when she heard the shouting die off, casting a wary glance behind her, panting. She could make out quiet murmurings and the rustle. They were still coming. Instantly, she considered taking out her wings and flying out of there. But, that would remove any doubt of who she was. For all she knew they believed her a villager. So she just ran.

She slowed her pace, knowing endurance was better than blindly running. She also zigzagged, changing her route to avoid going in any specific direction. There was absolutely no way she was returning to the clearing until she was certain they had lost her. Eventually, she slowed to a walk, forcing herself to breathe deeply and quietly. The forest had gone quiet, but that didn't mean they were gone. Stopping she glanced around before choosing a large tree and leaned against it, closing her eyes though still listening. One was moving quietly quite a distance to her right, probably trying to flush her out to an ambush.

She wiped her brow, her hand shaking. The branch that cut across her cheek stung, and she touched it gingerly. How could she have been so careless? She should have been paying attention instead of daydreaming.

Colette breathed deeply and then peered around the side of the tree. Desians walked slowly through the trees towards her. They had spread out in a straight line, combing the area. They knew she was still there. Pulling back, Colette slowly got to her feet, eyeing the forest ahead of her. She could keep running and try to lose them. She had done it before. But then what? They'd know someone was living up in that clearing. No, she couldn't allow them to live knowing what they did.

Her hands reached behind her to grab her chakrams when she froze, her heart pounding frantically. They weren't there. Colette's eyes widened as she felt the unfastened clip on her belt. She must have lost them on the trail when—

"Got ya."

Head snapping to the side, Colette found herself staring at a Desian a few feet away, a crossbow levelled at her chest. A sickening smirk spread on across his face. Colette's eyes dropped from his face to where a sword rested against his hip.

The Desian advanced slowly, keeping the crossbow aimed at her chest. "Well, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you resemble the dead Chosen."

She stiffened and swallowed, fear and panic rushing over her. She couldn't let this happen. In a split second decision, Colette dropped and tackled the Desian's legs. The man shouted out in surprise and fired the bolt up into the canopy as he crashed to the ground. Colette scrambled on top of him and punched him in the jaw. The Desian fell limp and Colette grappled to pull the sword from its sheath. The other Desians were running towards them now, having heard the commotion. Colette abandoned the sword and broke into a run.

A crossbow clicked and a bolt whizzed by her leg, embedding into the dirt. She whirled to the left, zigzagging between the trees until her foot snagged a root. She released a sharp cry as she slammed into the ground, barely breaking her fall with her hands. She coughed and pushed herself to her knees, her hand instinctively cradling her stomach. But before she could climb to her feet, the Desians had surrounded her. They were wheezing, their swords and crossbows aimed at her shakily from the pursuit. Colette's eyes darted frantically around her, half-rising to her feet, but they had her closed in.

One stepped forward, panting as he gestured at her with his blade. "Don't even think about it." Colette stopped and eyed him, blood pounding in her ears as she fought to stay calm. "You gave us quite the run, girl."

Colette didn't say anything. They were waiting for her to beg and she wasn't about to get the satisfaction. She was hoping one of them would get cocky and lower their guard—

"Sir, doesn't she look like the Chosen?" One of the others stepped up beside the first, pointing at her. "Her appearance fits the description..."

The first laughed at first, but he didn't talk his eyes off her. "Wouldn't that be a real treat for Lord Forcystus? He'd be more than pleased to hear that." He studied her and Colette turned her face down, making him laugh again. "Suppose there is only one way to find out. Secure her and take her back to the base."

Two soldiers moved toward her and grabbed her arms. Colette jerked one arm away and slammed her elbow into the man's jaw. Leaping to her feet, she kicked at the other holding her arm, her foot connecting with his stomach. He grunted and fell back. Colette whirled to run, but another hand clamped down on her arm. Colette scratched at his hand and kicked as the Desians shouted and rushed to restrain her. Three pushed her to the ground, forcing her arms behind her. She cried out in frustration, twisting to free herself, but they didn't budge.

"Bind her wrists if you have to!" The leader shouted. "I don't want her to—Who the hell are you?"

Silence filled the air and Colette breathed heavily, the smell of the forest floor filling her nose. She twisted her head and her eyes widened as she saw a familiar pair of boots. She bit her tongue to keep from calling out.

"What is going on here?" She heard Lloyd's voice, loud and commanding.

The Desians must have recognized him, for their attitude instantly changed. "Oh—Sir! We were scouting the area and discovered this woman. She fits the description of the Chosen and—"

"The Chosen is dead."

The Desians shifted uncomfortably. "Understood, Sir, but the resemblance was so close that we thought—"

"Release her. I will determine that myself."

Colette felt them hesitate, then gradually release her arms and back away. She watched them a moment before pushing herself up, slowly. They kept their swords on her and she eyed them warily before she slowly turned to face Lloyd.

Her stomach twisted when she saw the empty, cold expression on Lloyd's face. He was a stranger again, and Colette couldn't help but feel frightened as he approached. He waved the Desians' aside, not bothering to spare them a glance. Colette trembled as he bore down on her, his eyes locked on hers.

He stopped and studied her, looking her up and down as if she were an item to be purchased. Not a trace of recognition in his eyes or even a hint of reassurance. Anger flooded through her, fear and denial mixing with it. What was he doing? Why didn't he deny their claim and let her go? Had Genis been right-? No! It was Lloyd, he knew what he was doing. She couldn't let herself think like that. He had to act like a Cruxian. It was all a pretense, she reassured herself forcefully.

Yet even as her mind calmed, she couldn't help but tremble in fear as he spoke, his voice flat and indifferent.

"She does look like the Chosen, doesn't she?"

* * *

He saw the tremor run through her, but ignored it. From the corner of his eye, he watched as the soldiers smirked and nudged each other, already congratulating themselves. Fools, he thought to himself. They would receive no recognition for her capture. Even if they returned to the ranch, she would have been passed off to Forcystus, who would then claim the glory. Not that they would even get that far.

Lloyd heard the apparent leader step up beside him and Lloyd's eyes flashed angrily. The Desians didn't seem to notice. "Indeed she does, Sir. She even has the Cruxis Crystal there on her neckline." He pointed, but Lloyd didn't look.

Four men stood behind him and the leader. One bore a crossbow and only three still had swords out. There were also the three men who had restrained Colette, pathetically blocking her retreat. Easy enough.

Lloyd grabbed Colette's upper arm and pushed her ahead of him past the three men.

Startled, the leader stammered and hurried after them. "S-Sir! I caution leaving her hands so free—"

Lloyd ignored him and concentrated on his stride before shoving Colette forward as she let out a surprised gasp.

"Stay out of the way," he snapped at her, turning to face the Desians before she could respond.

"Lord Aurion, what is—?"

Lloyd glared and strode back to him, grabbing the leader by the neck and hoisting him off the ground until he was eye level. The man's eyes bulged and his fingers clawed at Lloyd's hand, struggling to get air. Lloyd narrowed his eyes, tightening his grip. "You question my authority?"

The man gaped like a dying fish, unable to answer and Lloyd threw him to the ground. The other men stared, bewildered by Lloyd's sudden bout of anger but too cowardly and well trained to question him. Lloyd eyed them sceptically. He couldn't let them live. Even if they released Colette on his orders, they knew she lived here and rumours would spread. He turned his attention on the gasping man at his feet and made an instant decision. The sound of him unsheathing his sword broke the silence.

There was a strangled gasp and a pair of stunned eyes stared up at him as he drove his blade through the Desian's chest. A sickening squelch followed as he pulled it out and turned on the other the men. Two more fell before they could even register what was happening, and then, they didn't hesitate to defend themselves. He wondered if they even knew why he was killing them. They fought him reluctantly—afraid attacking a superior—but, at the same time, they were more afraid to die.

Some tried to defend, lifting their blades to attempt to block his blows. Lloyd slammed his sword down on one unfortunate soldier. The man faltered, stumbling back, and Lloyd pulled his blade back and thrust it through his stomach. Pulling his other sword out, Lloyd whirled, sidestepped and slashed another charging Desian across the chest and side. The man cried out and crashed the ground as Lloyd stepped around him and rushed another soldier preparing to fire a crossbow. The bolt fired and Lloyd swung his sword up, deflecting the metal arrow and then stabbed the man with his second blade.

The remaining two turned and tried to flee, hoping to return to the base. Lloyd narrowed his eyes and crossed his swords before him. The air stirred as he pulled mana from around him and he forced it through the ground. Giant stone spikes burst up from the ground and impaled the fleeing Desians, killing them instantly. The stone then slowly retreated into the ground, the spell evaporating.

Lloyd blinked and lowered blades, turning his eyes from the carnage and letting them settle on Colette. She was on her knees, staring at him wide-eyed, tearstains on her cheeks arms wrapped around her stomach. He hurried over to her, letting his blades fall beside him, and dropped to his knees, cupping her face. "Are you alright?"

Her mouth opened, but she couldn't seem to form words and instead just nodded. Lloyd pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. She stiffened at his touch and he closed his eyes. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to frighten you." He rubbed her back as she leaned against him, feeling her shake.

"N-no, it's okay," she murmured. "You just startled me..."

Lloyd frowned, but didn't comment. In truth, he had wanted to immediately order her release, but believed it far too suspicious. Not to mention having her surrounded and unarmed made her vulnerable. It was necessary to get her out of the way. Of course, it was meaningless to try to explain that now.

"You are safe now." Lloyd reminded her, stroking her hair.

"How did you find me? What are you doing here? I thought you were in Tethe'alla?" She pulled back a little to look up at him. She seemed to have calmed a little.

"I heard the shouts on my way through the forest." He slid his hands down so they gripped her arms lightly and stood, helping her to stand. "As for why I am back. I have a lull between my tasks." He slowly released her and bent to retrieve his swords, wiping them clean and sheathing them. "Now, why are you out here, alone and unarmed?"

She flushed in embarrassment. "I went for a walk with Noishe and well..." she trailed off when he looked at her. "I lost my weapons when I was attacked."

Lloyd sighed and walked past her. "I'll take you back."

She hesitated, but then hurried after him and looped her hands around his arm. Lloyd glanced down at her, and then smiled, slowing his pace.

"Is there anyone at the house?" he asked after a moment.

"Just Genis." He felt her grip his arm tighter, her eyes looking up at him. "Will you stay and talk with him?" Lloyd didn't respond immediately and Colette looked away. "He's angry with you."

"That's understandable."

"No, not because of what's happened, but because you won't talk with him. He thinks you are ignoring him." Colette pressed.

"Isn't he a little old for hurt feelings?" Lloyd scoffed.

"Lloyd, this is serious."

"Hmmm." He didn't have an answer for her. "I'm supposed to leave in a couple of days again."

Colette frowned and tugged on his arm. "Don't change the subject."

"The Queen of Tethe'alla is granting a ball in my honour. Apparently, they expect me to be there." Lloyd continued undeterred.

Colette blinked, their previous conversation forgotten. "A ball? Why?"

"I prevented the Queen's death. Of course, I would prefer more subtly in her gratitude." He frowned. He had argued vehemently with Hilda about the entire 'gift', but of course, it had been futile.

"Oh. Well a dance should be interesting." She smiled wistfully. "What are you going to wear?"

"I'm not going."

"What?"

Lloyd wasn't about to repeat the statement. He wasn't sure why Colette was so shocked. It was a waste of his time and it would be better if he weren't the center of attention.

"You should go," she stated bluntly as if her word would make it happen.

"Why?"

She tugged his arm again, making him stop and frowned. "Because it will be fun and they are expecting you to be there."

"I do not socialize, which is one of the main points for organizing balls in the first place. Secondly, for the most part, the people who attend them never really know the reason it is being created, so it wouldn't be a major disappoint if I did not appear."

"Then don't go alone. I'll go with you."

Lloyd stared at her, taking in her determined, yet excited expression. "What?"

"Well, if I go, you won't be alone and I think it will be fun." She smiled up at him.

"Absolutely not."

Colette frowned, her expression hurt. "Why not?"

Lloyd sighed. "The idea of keeping a low profile is to remain out of sight and out of mind. If I take you to the ball, it will not only attract attention to me, but you as well."

"It's not like Desians are going to be at it. And it's in Tethe'alla anyway. It would be safer to go to Tethe'alla right now instead of staying in Sylvarant," Colette argued. "Besides, The Desians are going to find their dead scouts and then search the area and become suspicious."

"No."

"Lloyd, please—"

"I said no." He turned to start walking, but she grabbed his arm.

"Why don't you want me to go?"

"Why do you insist on going?" he snapped at her.

"Because I want to spend time with you!" she retorted sharply. She blinked and covered her mouth slightly, turning her face aside as if embarrassed by her outburst.

Lloyd blinked and then shook his head slowly. "It's too dangerous."

"I can take of myself."

"Like today." The words came out before he could bite his tongue and he immediately regretted saying them.

Colette flushed and bit her lip, turning away from him, arms crossed. "Fine. I'll stay here."

Lloyd rubbed the bridge of his nose irritably. Didn't she understand the risks associated with the idea? Going straight into the heart of the Tethe'alla high-class society, where appearances and ancestry were scrutinized. The moment they walked in, every pair of eyes would be on them. There was a chance she'd be recognized.

He watched her turned back as she slowly walked through the forest, moving only to distance herself from him, but slow enough to inform him she was waiting.

Spend time with him... His eyes drifted to her hands, but found them bare. She wasn't wearing the ring he had given her. He wasn't sure whether he had expected her to be wearing it or not. Perhaps a small part of him hoped she would be. Of course, he had to be realistic...

He caught up to her and neither of them spoke. He continued to glance at her, but she kept her eyes trained ahead. Their hands brushed occasionally, but she made no move to take his and he let it alone. Lloyd felt confused and slightly annoyed. She was angry with him, but he was only trying to keep her safe. He didn't understand why she couldn't see that.

"We are almost there. You better go," Colette spoke up suddenly, still not looking at him.

"I said I would take you back."

"We're back, if you don't want Genis to see you, you better leave." Colette repeated.

Lloyd didn't respond, but he didn't do as she said either. He saw her look up at him, puzzlement on her face and then a small smile. Lloyd felt her take his hand.

Colette seemed to hesitate, wanting to say something. Lloyd could tell by the look on her face. Her hand tightened around his and she bit her lip before glancing at him from the side. "Lloyd...there is something I..."

She hesitated as they reached the bridge, interrupted as Noishe barked loudly and started running toward them, prancing and leaping excitedly, the conversation forgotten. Lloyd released Colette's hand and quickly sidestepped the protozoan to avoid being he was tackled to the ground again and placed a hand on the creature's head to calm him. Lloyd scratched Noishe's head and then glanced up to see Genis standing halfway between them and the house. His large spear in his knuckle-white grip trembled slightly. Lloyd met the harsh, gray-blue eyes that betrayed so many emotions, while his own bore none.

Nevertheless, inside he felt torn apart. Genis stood rigid, glaring at him like an enemy; frightened, angry and vengeful. If there was happiness, or sadness, Lloyd couldn't detect it from this distance, which was probably for the best.

Colette waited, gripping Noishe's fur to keep him from leaping onto Lloyd as the two old friends eyed each other. Genis made the first move, taking one-step and then moving slowly towards them, his eyes flitting from Lloyd to Colette and back.

It was then that Lloyd realized the source of the hostility. Genis must believe Lloyd was the reason for Colette's absence. He frowned, exhaled heavily. There would be no reasoning with him over this. Genis had been stubborn at the best of times in the past. Lloyd could only imagine what he was like now.

After a brief hesitation, he said, "Colette, I'll come back in two days to take you to Tethe'alla." He looked at her, to make sure she heard him. Seeing the bewilderment in her expression, he was satisfied. He turned then and started back across the bridge."

"H-Hey! Wait you bastard!" Genis shouted at him and Lloyd hesitated for a split second.

"Lloyd, wait—" Colette started.

"Turn around you coward and tell me what the hell is wrong with you!" Genis cut her off. Lloyd could tell he was only a few feet behind him. He stared out at the forest, listening to Genis' pounding heartbeat and quick, short breaths. Noishe whined and paced beside Colette, suddenly anxious. "Don't you dare ignore me! What were you doing with Colette?" Genis snapped, his patience running out.

Lloyd turned slightly, not directly facing Genis, his head tilted to the side. He gave Genis a withering glance, his hair drooping a little over his face.

Genis recoiled slightly, but quickly recovered, gripping his weapon determinedly and scowling. "I'm not afraid of you," he growled. Lloyd assumed that statement was to reassure Genis himself more than to inform Lloyd.

Lloyd ignored the comment and the cast his gaze over Genis' skinny form. All legs and arms, though Lloyd could detect the beginning of a stature in his shoulders and upper arms. Still, all in all, pitiful in the position of one-on-one combat. Other than being stretched out, Genis hadn't really changed at all. The corners of Lloyd's mouth turned up in amusement.

Genis snarled at the smirk and aimed his spear at Lloyd's chest, his face heated. "Damn it, Lloyd talk!"

"I have nothing to say that'd you want to hear." Lloyd lifted his eyes back to Genis', face once again impassive.

"Lloyd, please, just talk to him," Colette pleaded.

Lloyd glanced at her, but said nothing.

"Why did you betray us?" Genis snapped out, stealing back his attention.

Betray...Lloyd looked at him sadly and closed his eyes. "I suppose it was the most ideal decision at the time."

"Ideal—!" Genis gaped at him, pain flickering through his eyes and his face twisting. "I—You bastard!" He shouted at him, stepping forward, spear still aimed at his chest.

Lloyd's hand gripped his sword instinctively, but stepped back knowing Genis' action weren't intentional. "Indeed. Now, I think you should worry more about protecting Colette, than worrying about my motives." He turned back around and started walking away.

"L-Lloyd-!" Colette started.

"Hey—I'm not done—" Genis exclaimed angrily.

"Genis, don't—!" Colette cried out.

Paying them no heed, Lloyd kept walking. He felt a stir in the mana and sighed in annoyance, sidestepping as a flash of heat rush past him and a fireball smashed into a tree. Lloyd glanced at the charred and smoking trunk as he passed it. He heard Genis start running toward him, but Lloyd just closed his eyes and warped away, not before hearing his name and a series of curses.

* * *

"That-that bastard!" Genis yelled out, throwing his spear into the ground and clenching his fists. "That good for nothing coward! He just runs away!"

Tears threatened to fill his eyes, but he fought them down. How could Lloyd do that? Why? Why didn't he understand?

"Genis...?" Colette asked tentatively, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

He slapped her hand away, Noishe growling at him, but he spun and glared at Colette. "Why were you with him? How stupid are you to go anywhere with that traitor?"

Colette backed up, surprised by the sudden attack on her. However, she quickly gathered herself together and frowned at him. "I didn't go anywhere with him! I went for a walk and was attacked by Desians! He saved my life!"

"I bet he sent those Desians after you! Just so he could pretend to play the hero and save you." Genis snarled and grabbed his spear, yanking it out of the ground. He pointed out into the forest. "He's one of them Colette! Don't you get it?"

Colette shook her head. "He's not, Genis. He's our friend."

"You are an idiot!" Genis snapped at her, turning and storming back to the house.

"Then why did you try and talk to him?"

He froze mid-step and whirled, facing her. She wasn't angry anymore; rather she looked calm, almost sad. Expression twisting, Genis snarled.

"You could've just attacked him." Colette pressed, walking towards him.

"I did attack him!"

"With one of your weakest spells, and only after he started to leave." Colette shook her head. "You don't really think he is the enemy."

"Yes I do!" Genis snapped, clenching his spear. "And next time I see him, I'll attack him! I won't let him walk away from me again! I'll put my spear up to his throat and force him to admit to you that he betrayed us and that he's just using you!"

Colette said nothing, but Genis could tell she didn't believe him. It hurt. It hurt that she placed more faith in a traitor than in him. He's not the one who betrayed her; he's not the one who abandoned his friends. He's not the one who snubbed his best friend.

Genis stopped and then looked at the exsphere on his hand. Marble's exsphere...He scowled, clenching his hand. Lloyd probably forgot all about Marble too. He had probably forgot about everything. How could he just forget...?

Pushing the door open, Genis glanced back at Colette who still watched him and frowned. "I'll make him remember. I'll force him to remember everything and everyone he's betrayed." But deep down, Genis wondered if Lloyd already knew.

**Please Review.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Listening to **Far Away by Nickelback** . Sorry it's a day late. Had a crazy day yesterday. I know you are all waiting eagerly, so I'll quickly thank everyone reading and reviewing the story. Greatly appreciate it. Enjoy**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 19:**

He came. Just like he said he would. Colette saw him standing at the edge of the forest, watching the house. Even from the window, she could tell he was reconsidering being there. In truth, Colette couldn't fathom why he had actually agreed so suddenly in the end anyway. But she was glad he had.

Raine was helping Genis study again at the table, the two arguing over some formula or other. Presea stood next to Colette, washing the dishes quietly while Colette dried them. Colette glanced at the other girl anxiously, wondering if Presea had seen Lloyd too. But if she had, she didn't show it.

Colette folded her towel slowly. "Could you excuse me for a moment? I have to step upstairs for a second."

The young girl nodded, but Colette noticed the slight frown setting in and Colette hesitated for a second before turning. Raine glanced up distractedly as Colette hurried up the stairs, but another of Genis' questions took her attention again.

Immediately, Colette hurried over to the balcony door, but hesitated and turned to the desk. She opened the box that held the ring and slipped the ring onto her finger, smiling at it. Darting back over to the door, she pulled it open and stepped out into the fresh air. She scanned the tree line for Lloyd, but found him gone. She frowned, wondering if he had changed his mind.

"Are you prepared to leave?"

Colette gasped and spun around, finding Lloyd standing next to the door and she flushed. "How do you do that?"

Lloyd smirked and then stiffened, glancing at the door. "We should leave—"

"Colette..." Presea stepped into the room; she stopped when she saw Colette standing outside. Though, Lloyd wasn't visible, Presea seemed aware he was there and shook her head. "Do not go with him."

"I..." Colette glanced at Lloyd and then back at Presea. "It's alright; I'll be back in a day."

Presea stepped closer and Colette stepped back. Presea stopped, concern flickering within her eyes. "Colette, please. Think about what you are doing?"

"I am thinking. Please, Presea, just trust me."

Lloyd reached over and touched her arm. "We need to go."

"What do I tell the others?" Presea asked. "They will be worried." It was hard to tell if Presea was just stalling, or if she was being sincere.

"Tell them the truth. I'll be fine." Colette smiled, but she could sense the indecision in her friend. Presea wanted to believe her, but logic told her that this was dangerous. Still, both girls knew Presea was in no position to keep Colette from going.

"Alright." She spoke it reluctantly and then turned her eyes to where she believed Lloyd to be behind the wall. "Do not harm her."

Lloyd didn't respond, but Colette smiled brightly. "Thank you."

Presea said nothing; rather she turned around and descended the stairs.

Colette turned to Lloyd, smiling. "I'm ready."

Lloyd nodded and then gripped her arm. The sensation was intense. Her breath seemed to be pulled from her lungs; her surroundings blurred, disintegrated and then flickered back into view. However, this time she wasn't standing on the balcony. The walls of Meltokio rose up in front of her, filling her vision and the raucous of the city replaced the twittering of birds.

She blinked, slightly caught off guard when Lloyd released her arm and she looked up at him. He was staring at the city, but she could tell it wasn't what was on his mind. He was conflicted...

"I shouldn't have brought you here. Your friends will be upset to find you gone." Lloyd frowned, hands tightening around his sword.

"_Our_ friends will be fine. I wanted to come, remember?" Colette smiled up at him. "Please, don't worry about it."

Lloyd didn't say anything, instead motioned towards the gate and started walking, making sure Colette was next to him. Colette let her eyes wander, letting her memories come rushing back. They were only glimpses, quick images since the Cruxis Crystal had still been infecting her body when she had last been here. Lloyd took her hand as they entered the busy streets of the commoners and pulled her through the throng. Colette stumbled after his fast pace, all the while taking in the sights and sounds around her. Meltokio was beautiful, so bright and vibrant. The people were loud, but seemingly friendly. In a way, this was her first time seeing the beautiful city. She recalled some of the buildings and structures from when the Cruxis Crystal still absorbed her soul, but most of the unnecessary details hadn't registered into her mind.

They ascended the levels of the city, Lloyd guiding her down the crowded streets easily. Gradually the congestion eased off and Colette moved up beside him, smiling as they neared the noble quarters. "This...this is where we met Zelos wasn't it?"

Lloyd glanced down at her and then slowed his pace, allowing to her gaze around the courtyard. "It was. Though, I would say the meeting was a little one-sided. You did throw him nearly half-way across the area."

The memory flashed from the details he gave and she smiled brighter. "That's right. He wasn't hurt, thank goodness. I'm not even sure why I threw him so hard."

"I can think of a few reasons," Lloyd muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Lloyd motioned ahead of them. "The festivities do not begin until later this evening, so that will give you plenty of time to get fitted for clothing."

"Oh, I completely forgot that I needed—" she covered her mouth.

"It has been taken care of. We have been granted quarters within the castle to dress and rest. We'll head there first." he stated, gently urging her to follow him.

As they approached the castle, Colette couldn't help but tilt her head back to stare in amazement at the height and grandeur of the structure. Nothing in Sylvarant could ever compare to it. It made her feel like she was walking into a fairy-tale. A pair of guards stood at the doors, but they seemed to have recognized Lloyd and lowered their heads respectively, opening the doors for them. Colette glanced up at Lloyd anxiously, but he seemed preoccupied, a slight frown marring his face.

A servant appeared out of nowhere and Lloyd stopped in front of him. "Aurion and guest." Lloyd said, flatly.

The man eyed Colette sceptically, taking in her causal, traveller's clothes, making her suddenly quite self-conscious. The servant said nothing; rather, he turned quickly and led them down a side corridor. Lloyd followed wordlessly and Colette turned her eyes to the decor of the inside of the castle. It all seemed surreal. It smelled of dust and the air was dry, but everything had a fresh clean look to it. The gray-stone walls were lined with candles and tapestries and the polished marble floors reflected the light coming in through the windows.

After a few more turns and a flight of stairs, the servant stopped before a single wooden door, opened it and stood to the side. "I will inform the Queen of your arrival, Master Aurion, and also send for the tailors. Is there anything else you require?"

Lloyd dismissed with him only a wave of his hand and stepped into the room, pulling Colette in after him and shutting the door. Instantly, he scanned the room and after he seemed content they were alone, Lloyd visibly relaxed. Colette smiled and let go of his hand, wandering around the room, poking at the decorations and objects on the shelves. "The castle is beautiful, isn't it?" she looked at him happily. He didn't say anything, instead watched her in amusement before casting an eye around the room. Colette giggled and then sat on the bed, tucking loose hair behind her ear. "Do we share this room?"

"Yes." His eyes remained fixated on her and she had to look away. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. It was frightening, in a way, how much he resembled Kratos in his behaviour. Though, Lloyd did usually show more emotion than his father did, Colette wondered if that would slowly disappear in time too.

"I suppose we can't go see the city." She gazed out the window, the rooftops of the buildings pocketing the view in an array of colors and the high walls bordering them.

"I wouldn't advise it. You being here at all is a risk," Lloyd replied.

Colette frowned, turning her eyes towards the skyline. Large, puffy, white clouds floated across the pale blue sky. So absurdly perfect in their shape, they looked almost painted in place and that the outside world was just another hanging picture.

"Risks have to be taken, Lloyd. Being with you is a risk, but I would never stop because of that." He stood rigid as her eyes fell back on him; a tensing in his jaw told her he didn't appreciate the reminder. She smiled softly and stood, walking over to him. "But I'll stay in if it makes it easier for you to relax."

"I'd appreciate that." He seemed to want to say more, when a soft tap on the door cut him off.

"Master Aurion, the tailors are waiting." The servant called through the door. Lloyd pulled the door open, revealing the young man. Behind him stood another man and a woman, both middle-aged and most likely married.

The woman half curtsied then bustled in past Lloyd with her materials. Using one hand, she made a shooing motion, lightly slapping him on the arm, much to their surprise and scolded him. "We need some privacy for the young lady. Felix will take you to the room just down the hall."

Lloyd looked down at the stout, round woman curiously and then glanced at Colette before leaving stiffly. Colette couldn't help, but smile; however, as soon as the door shut, the woman whirled and strode over to her determinedly. "Alright, Miss, let's not waste any time now. I'll have you strip out of your clothes and take your measurements quick like."

Hesitating, Colette stood uncertainly until the woman huffed and grabbed the sash around Colette's waist and loosened it for her. "I haven't all day, Miss. These men never give women proper amounts of time to prepare for their dresses and the like. Leave everything to the last minute they do. Lift your arms, please, Miss. There you go. My Husband is exactly the same, though mind you, he has the easy orders to fill, dressing your young man, he does. Just slip out of those breeches quick, Miss. Must take your waistline. I was telling him on the way here, 'Now, Felix, these are important guests of the Queen herself, we can't delay in making these clothes.' Of course, the man ignores me. I sometimes wonder why I even bother opening my mouth around the man. Hold your arms out, Miss...Alright, now stand straight and you hold this measure for me—wonderful."

Colette listened, bewildered as the woman talked non-stop as she measured and jotted down the numbers. She nodded politely, trying to follow the quick-tongued woman and, at the same time, trying to do as she asked.

"Was there a color you rather like, Miss? A pretty blonde like you usually does well in red or blue, in my opinion. Brings out the color, it does. The blue would compliment your eyes, too. Nice rich color. I suppose it all depends on how your man dresses. Then again, Felix will probably outfit him in white. I heard him talking about it on the way here, I did. I was telling him just the other-..."

Colette blinked as the woman suddenly cut off. The woman straightened and a soft smile on her face.

"Is everything alright, Ma'am?" Colette asked.

"I suppose I shall have to make the dress a little loose around your stomach, Miss. May I ask how far along you are?"

Colette's mouth fell open and then she flushed, one hand lifting to her abdomen. "I..."

The woman smiled and then handed her back her clothes. "Nothing to be embarrassed by, Miss. I would think congratulations are in order. My Felix and I have one ourselves, bless him. It's a little frightening at first, but a blessing to be sure."

"Yes, it is." Colette agreed quietly, slipping back into her clothes. "Please...don't tell anyone." The woman looked at her curiously and Colette hastily added. "It's a surprise...for my friends. I don't want word to get out yet."

She smiled brightly and the woman winked. "Ah, I understand, Miss. I won't tell a soul. Not even my Felix, though heaven he'd listen to me anyway." She turned and gathered her materials and inclined her head lightly and made her way to the door. "I'll be back later this evening to fit you for the dress, Miss. Take care."

Colette wished her well too and the woman left, leaving Colette alone in the room. Her hand lifted to the bump on her belly and she smiled. A blessing to be sure...

* * *

The sharp tugs of his shirt and pant legs made Lloyd close his eyes in annoyance, impatiently allowing the maids to finish their preening over him. Outside the sky was already darkening to dusk and, most likely, the dance had already commenced.

It wasn't as if he was eager to go to the dance itself, but after a pointless argument over dressing himself, the maids had bustled their way into helping him prepare and he wasn't enjoying this either. He hadn't let them touch his hair, even after they insisted that he brush it out of his face. As persistent as they were, his sharp voice and tone made them retreat from that area.

"Are you quite done?" He sighed irritably and the hands fell away. His eyes snapped to the mirror, his russet eyes taking in the attire.

White wasn't typically his first choice in color. It was too bold and flashy, in his opinion, but it seemed useless to argue with the tailor, who seemed to have his heart set on designing it. The material was smooth and light, with a gold and red trimmed jacket. The design was simple enough, fortunately, and he supposed it would have to do.

He felt soft tug at the back of his jacket and he turned his head, the maid quickly stepping back sheepishly. "It'll do," he replied dryly and the maids nodded quickly, their faces slightly pink as they looked at him. He'd pretend it was from embarrassment and not for what it really was.

Turning quickly, he headed for the door and left the dressing room, proceeding to where Colette was dressing. His chest tightened as he once again thought of how utterly careless this entire charade was. He knew the risks, he knew the possibility of someone recognizing her, or him, was undeniably high. Lloyd tried to reason with himself that the danger was low by being in Tethe'alla, but to him it sounded like nothing more than an excuse.

She was happy. That was what was important.

He paused in front of the door, listening to the muffled voices behind it and then knocked. Hurried footsteps approached and then the door opened, revealing a small, young maid. She blushed brightly when she saw him and then glanced over her shoulder. "It's Master Aurion, Miss."

"I'm coming!" Colette called from within the room.

Lloyd tried to glance into the room, but his angle was wrong and the little maid was still staring up at him, smiling. He looked down at her impassively and she seemed to shrink even more, if that was possible.

Lloyd closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose when Colette spoke up. "I'm ready."

His eyes snapped open and went to speak, only to have his words stuck in his throat and all he could do was stare. His eyes were drawn first to the long, red, silk dress she wore. It was low v-neck dress with wide shoulder straps. It clearly showed the glittering Cruxis Crystal necklace, the gem shimmering deep red next to the color of the dress. With the necklace as the key-crest, it appeared to be a simple set of jewellery. The edges of the gown were trimmed with soft, silver around the hem and waist of the dress, glittering as she shifted beneath the light from the hall. A simple silver bracelet rested on her right wrist and a pair of silver-heeled sandals showed beneath the hem of her dress.

His eyes moved to her face and found a faint pink blush on her cheeks. Her hair was still long, a slight wave in it as it flowed onto her shoulders and down her back. The hair around the side of her face had been pulled back and fastened with a silver clip; her bangs still hung just above her sparkling blue eyes.

"Are...Are you okay?" Colette asked hesitantly. Behind her, the maids giggled and Lloyd cleared his throat, forcing his eyes onto hers.

"I'm fine. We should go."

Colette smiled excitedly. He held out his hand for her, noticing she was stepping carefully with her higher shoes. If she did not trip at least once in those shoes, he'd be surprised. A fresh scent wafted from her and he inhaled unconsciously, his chest tightening again as she looked at him and smiled even brighter. He couldn't help but smile back.

"You look very handsome in those clothes," she said as they followed the maids down the corridor.

Lloyd nodded silently. He made to compliment her in return, but his tongue refused to cooperate. Colette giggled beside him and he felt her loop her arm around his as they stepped out into the chilled night air.

They were quiet as they walked towards the hall, Colette's shoes tapping against the cobbled pathway. Lloyd could make out the music and voices floating from within the building. A few other couples were making their way through the doors and Lloyd hesitated, coming to a stop in the shadow of the streets.

"What's wrong?" Colette looked up at him, her large blue eyes bright with excitement and nervousness.

"Are you still sure about this?" Even as he asked, he knew what her answer was. Lloyd needed to be sure it was what she wanted.

"Of course." That smile again. Lloyd blinked down at her, fixated by it until she reached up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He flinched and she laughed. "Are you going to be okay?"

Lloyd swallowed, clearing his throat and nodded. He hesitated and as he stared down at her. "You look beautiful." Practically blurted out.

Colette flushed and ducked her head, laughing.

He started walking quickly, embarrassed with his own behaviour. They followed another couple up the stairs, Lloyd slowing as Colette slipped on the stairs in her shoes, her face flushed with embarrassment. He just smiled.

They entered the building, a servant greeting them and taking their names. "Ah...Master Aurion. Her Majesty will be pleased to hear you've arrived. Make yourself comfortable, I'll go and inform her for you."

Lloyd nodded and then led Colette into the main hall. The music was deafening, but he quickly became accustom to the noise level. Voices and clink of china filled the air amid the instruments. A few heads turned as they entered, eyeing the pair inquisitively. They stood out, Lloyd knew. He could already hear a few whispers of his name and quick inquires about Colette. Fortunately, her name was unknown to them.

Angling towards an empty seat near against a wall, Lloyd attempted to avoid conversation.

He failed.

"Master Aurion, isn't it?" A reedy, high voice called to them. Lloyd gritted his teeth and stopped, turning to the speaker. A tall, thin woman walked up quickly, one hand reaching out to brush against his shoulder. He stared at her impatiently, feeling Colette tighten her grip on his arm. The woman flashed a smile at him. "Oh, I thought that was you. Your appearance is one of a kind, I'd recognize you anywhere."

"Do I know you?" Lloyd studied her face and relaxed slightly when he failed to recognize her.

She laughed loudly and it sounded as if she was straining to make the sound. "Oh, of course we haven't been introduced properly. My names Elaine, but you can call me Elli." She paused and Lloyd just waited. She huffed slightly. "Well aren't you going to introduce yourself?"

"I thought you already had my name." Lloyd glanced around, exasperated. Colette looked up at him, but kept quiet. She understood as well as he did, introduction would be kept to the minimum.

Elaine opened her mouth and then closed it quickly, smiling sweetly as she slapped his arm gently and laughed. Lloyd's eyes snapped to her hand, then levelled on her. She didn't seem to notice the dark look she had gotten and waved her hand at him. "Of course, of course. How silly of me. I was just—"

"Excuse us." Lloyd cut her off and turned without waiting for a reply, continuing towards their seats. He didn't even bother to mask the scowl on his face, but Colette giggled beside him.

"She seemed nice."

Lloyd scoffed, "If you enjoy being hit during a conversation." Then sighed as couple approached them, directly in their path.

"Good evening, Sir. Miss." The young man nodded at them. Lloyd nodded in return, glancing at the woman, as she looked him over, smiling slightly behind her fan. "It was Aurion wasn't it? The lad that saved our young Queen. Quite a duty you did for your world, Son." The man spoke.

"I suppose." Lloyd commented absently. The man couldn't have been much older than himself, yet he spoke to Lloyd as if he was his inferior. He couldn't tell the status of the man, but by the way he spoke so boldly, Lloyd assumed he had advanced to a high rank, and just recently.

The man guffawed and turned to his female companion. "He speaks as if it is an everyday occurrence, doesn't he, Janice? How about that?"

Janice lifted her face slightly above her fan, letting her eyes roam over him and then to Colette. "Is it a common occupation for you, Master Aurion? To rescue distressed young ladies from unimaginable fates."

Colette stifled a giggle and Lloyd raised an eyebrow at the irony of the question. "If it attracts my interest, I suppose."

The woman laughed, believing his response a flirtatious remark towards her. "Then please, Master Aurion, how dire must the situation be before it attracts your attention? Or..." her eyes flitted over to Colette, a mocked smile showing her opinion. "Is it the prize? Because this party is dreadfully lacking and I could greatly do with some amusement."

Before Lloyd could respond, Colette smiled sweetly. "It's the company of course, but I am sure your own friend could help you."

The woman smiled in return, though Lloyd could tell she was infuriated at Colette's interruption. "I see. A shame then."

Lloyd sighed and excused himself again, as now, the young man was red in the face in embarrassment and Lloyd didn't wish to start an argument with him. He'd allow the couple to rip out each other's throats.

"Do they still seem nice?" Lloyd commented as he pulled out a chair for Colette.

"Of course." Colette smiled, lifting her skirts to keep them from snagging on the chair legs. "They just wish to talk with you."

Lloyd frowned, trying to determine whether Colette had adapted a sense of sarcasm or if she was just being friendly. He moved to the chair beside her, seating himself. "This is why I do not socialize."

Colette smiled sadly and reached for his hand. "Lloyd—"

"Master Aurion." The pair lifted their heads and Lloyd swiftly rose to his feet as Queen Hilda approached, flanked by a pair of maids and ladies-in-waiting. "I'm so pleased that you could make it."

Lloyd bowed slightly, ignoring the whispers and glances from the women next to Hilda. "Your Majesty insisted I should participate."

"Of course, being the Guest of Honour, it would hardly make sense for you not to come."

Nodding, Lloyd straightened stiffly. "Of course. But your Majesty should still be recovering."

"Yes, I am aware of that, but I insisted on thank you again for your actions and to inform you that the Pope is now serving his sentence."

"That is pleasing to hear."

Hilda smiled and then looked at Colette. Her expression faltered for a moment and Lloyd watched her carefully. Colette rose to her feet and smiled, curtsying unsteadily. Hilda nodded, but frowned slightly, not taking her eyes from Colette. "And who is your lovely guest, Master Aurion?"

"...Claire, your Majesty." Lloyd answered flatly and he felt Colette's eyes turn up to him.

"I see. It's a pleasure then, Claire." Turning to Lloyd, she tilted her head. "Aurion." Hilda smiled with a slight hesitation. Lloyd bowed again, watching her leave.

"Claire?" Colette asked quietly.

"First name that came to mind." Lloyd shrugged, his eyes lifting to scan the faces. A number of them were peering at them curiously, but were content to keep their distance. Most of them were woman, much to Lloyd's exasperation, whispering annoyingly loud and not even bothering to hide the fact they were watching them. He turned his eyes back towards Colette, who was watching the party with great interest. Her face was a light, flush with excitement. Her blue eyes sparkled as they danced from sight to sight just as they had when she was younger. Her one hand rested on her stomach, the other on the table, her skin softly pale against the crimson material of the dress.

He continued to stare at her until her eyes settled on him and she smiled brightly at him and then darted quickly back to the crowd as if she was afraid of missing something. The corner of his mouth lifted and he settled back into his chair.

His smiled suddenly faltered when he caught sight of someone in the corner of his eye. A man leaned against the wall adjacent to their table, his hair bright red against his black suit watching them intently. Blue eyes met brown and Lloyd nearly rose to his feet to leave, but caught himself just in time.

Instead, Lloyd turned his eyes away, though he continued to watch the Chosen of Tethe'alla, hoping that any recognition had gone unnoticed. For a few minutes, he did nothing, but then Zelos pushed off the wall and strode boldly towards them, a frown set into his fine features.

Releasing a low growl, Lloyd reached over and took Colette's hand, drawing her attention. "We need to move."

She blinked in confusion, but started to rise with him when Zelos reached them and took her other hand, his flirtatious smile plastered on his face. Colette jumped in surprise and turned to see who had done it. She froze, her mouth partly open and eyes wide.

"I don't believe we've been introduced my beautiful maiden." Zelos lifted her hand and kissed it, Colette still staring at him in disbelief. Lloyd noticed behind the mask, Zelos was trying to piece together the similarities he was seeing.

"Z-Zelos?" Colette stammered and Lloyd stiffened as Zelos' smiled even more.

"I thought it was you, Little Angel. Though, I suppose you aren't so little anymore." Zelos looked at her appraisingly. "You are all grown up."

Colette flushed, but smiled. "It's been a few years. How are you? I heard you were in trouble—"

Zelos waved his hand causally. "That's all been settled and done with, now that the Pope has been arrested." His eyes snapped over to Lloyd. "And I suppose I have you to thank for that."

Lloyd stared at him apathetically, his one hand still grasping Colette's. There was no point in attempting to fool Zelos about his identity. The Chosen was smarter than he let on, Lloyd could tell that just by watching him.

Still it seemed Zelos was hesitating in making that assumption. It was there, Lloyd could see it on his face, but there was that small hint of denial and disbelief as well.

Zelos turned, facing him directly. "Aurion, wasn't it? The saviour of the Queen, the mysterious stranger that returned Duke Bryant to the company, the man that personally foiled the Pope's plans? The gossip of Meltokio has given you quite a name...Lloyd."

"I leave plenty to the imagination, Chosen." Lloyd retorted, his hands tightening slightly at the mention of his name.

Zelos stared at him hard, and then released a loud laugh, drawing a few eyes, but he ignored them. He shook his head, wiping his eye. "The country bumpkin from Sylvarant? Still alive and kicking. I don't believe it. So it was you who passed me by the Queen's chambers the other day."

Colette smiled uncertainly, squeezing Lloyd's hand, but he didn't respond to it, waiting for Zelos' humour to run out. Zelos cleared his throat, still smirking and looked Lloyd up and down. "Not bad, Bud. You clean up nice. So where have you been all these years? How did get away from those guys, or did they finally decide to let you go? Man, I thought you were done for, for sure."

Lloyd listened silently to Zelos' string of questions, not batting an eye, and then closed his eyes. "Does it matter?"

The question seemed to catch the Chosen off guard and he frowned, glancing at Colette puzzled. "Of course it does. You've been missing for like ten years—"

"Seven." Lloyd cut him off.

Zelos stopped, frowning. "Okay, seven. Loosen up a bit, Bud. Look why don't I get some drinks brought over and we can catch up?"

"Is that necessary?"

"Nec—" Zelos turned to Colette, frowning. "What's wrong with this guy? He hasn't cracked a smile or..." he trailed off, his eyes drifting back to Lloyd suspiciously. "You are one of them—"

"Zelos." Colette reached out and grabbed his arm, pleadingly. "Please, don't make a scene. It's not what—"

"So, you sunk down to their level, huh, Bud?" Zelos smirked, but his tone serious. "I never thought it would happen to you."

Lloyd didn't answer, but frowned as Colette spoke up. "Zelos, it's not like that, he—"

"Colette, will you walk with me?" Lloyd interrupted suddenly, his eyes remaining on Zelos as he leaned towards her.

"But Lloyd—" Colette started, but he gently tugged her arm. She quickly apologized to Zelos and tried to keep up with Lloyd as he meandered through the couples talking. "Lloyd, what's wrong with you?"

"Did I not tell you to stop defending me?" his voice was low, but sharp and Colette flinched, but she jerked his arm, slowing him down.

"Why can't I? It's the truth. There is a reason for what you are doing and—"

"That's all they need to know. They know there is a reason. But in their opinion, it doesn't matter." Lloyd glanced around him and lowered his voice. "Explaining hasn't worked on the Sages, yet has?"

"Because you haven't given them a chance to hear it." Colette pressed, her expression hard and upset. "Lloyd, you are holding back just as much as they are. Give them a chance to forgive you. I did."

Lloyd frowned, eyes falling to the floor. "Colette, that's..."

"Master Aurion, is that you? We were just talking about you!" Lloyd lifted his head and nearly choking as he inhaled a heavy waft of mix perfumes. He stepped back, forced to release Colette's hand as a cluster of petticoats and ball gowns pressed against him.

A tall, skinny woman, leaned towards him, tapping her fan against is shoulder. "I was just saying that we need more men like you around. Brave, honest..."

"Handsome." One whispered and series of giggles erupted among them.

Lloyd frowned, stepping back again to excuse himself, but they stepped with him. "Ladies, I—"

"Oh come now, Hon, don't be bashful. You are the Guest of Honour." One woman stepped up looping her arm around his. Lloyd couldn't help but notice the tip of her nose twitching as she spoke. "Now, tell us a bit about yourself. All we know of you is your last name."

Lloyd pulled his arm free, brushing off his sleeve. "That's all you need to know."

"Modest, isn't he?" One whispered and Lloyd snapped his eyes onto the speaker causing her to blush profusely.

The skinny one hushed the others and smiled widely. "Come now, you must tell us how you knew it was the Pope. Of all people to suspect, how did you know?"

Lloyd turned his gaze to the side to where Colette was, only to find her missing. He frowned, head turning to search for her when one of the women took his arm again. "Hon, are you looking for someone?"

"Indeed, I am. Excuse me," he answered sharply, causing the women to gasp dramatically and a few of the younger ones to giggle as he broke away from them.

Lloyd walked a few feet from them to be sure they wouldn't trail him. Infuriating women can't mind their own business. This was exactly why he avoided these types of situations. He scanned the crowd and finally spotted Colette speaking to a young man near the entrance and Lloyd headed towards her frowning.

Colette was laughing at something the man said when Lloyd came up and took her arm.

Turning her head, she looked at him and then back to the man, who viewed Lloyd curiously, then continued to talk. Lloyd blinked, slightly confused, and pulled her back. "What are you doing?"

Frowning up at him, Colette tugged her arm free, planting a smile on her face. "I'm having a conversation with Jonathan and you are interrupting."

Jonathan...? Lloyd glanced at the man, who shifted uneasily under his hard stare and then back at Colette. "Why did you wander off like that?"

"I didn't want to disturb your conversation with those ladies over there. Now if you will excuse me—" Colette went to turn again, but Lloyd stepped between her and the man.

"Why are you acting like this?" he frowned.

Colette returned it and then stepped to the side, smiling at the young man. "Sorry, Jonathan. Can you excuse me?" Without waiting for a response, Colette turned and walked off.

Lloyd stared after her, confused by her strange behaviour. He glanced around unsure whether he should follow her or not, when he spotted Zelos coming in through the entrance with a dark-haired woman. Zelos looked up and motioned towards him and Lloyd growled and quickly hurried after Colette.

* * *

Her hand shook as she wiped her eyes dry, staring down into the crowd of people below her. She felt so childish and embarrassed for the way she had acted. She just had been so jealous when Lloyd stood there, allowing those woman to push her out of the way. How many time had she'd been overlooked in the introductions? How many times had Lloyd attempted to make a conversation with her and try to relax?

She sighed, her breath shuddery and she closed her eyes. She listened as the music started playing, floating up to the balcony to introduce the dancing. Colette looked down as couples gathered together, leading each other out onto the floor and leaning close to each other. She envied them. They lived such normal lives, such simple lives. She had always wondered what that would be like...to be like everyone else. It's the life she always wanted to have. The life that she always wanted to share with him...

Colette heard him coming before she saw him and she slowly turned around when he stopped moving. Lloyd was watching her from within the shadow of the hallway, his hair shadowing his face. Colette bit her lip and then looked down. "I'm sorry."

"You are angry with me."

She nearly laughed, yet she felt like she wanted to cry. Her throat tightened and she nodded her head. She was angry, even though she didn't want to be. She couldn't understand the string of emotions rushing through her. She didn't know what she was supposed to feel.

Lloyd hesitated and then walked up to her. Colette glanced at him, half wanting to push him away and half wanting to fall into his arms and cry. She couldn't understand why her emotions were so twisted around like this and it was frustrating her. Breathing in heavily, she swallowed and placed a hand to her queasy stomach. "Why did you follow me?" she asked before she could stop herself, sounding bitterer than she really felt.

He blinked, startled at her question. "I was concerned."

"Do I annoy you?"

"What?"

Colette bit her tongue from going further, confused why she was suddenly leading off in that direction. She shook her head and turned from him, trying to sort out her thoughts and emotions. She stared down at the people, breathing deeply and she heard him move up beside her.

"Colette, I apologize if I've upset you. It was not my intention."

"You didn't want me to come."

Lloyd tilted his head to catch her eye. "I explained my reasons for that."

"You still didn't want to bring me." Colette pressed. Again, the feeling of jealousy and resentment rose unexpectedly. She didn't want to feel that doubt, but it was there nevertheless.

"And yet I brought you anyway," Lloyd replied softly.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak just then. He was right. Lloyd wouldn't have budged if he truly believed being here was more dangerous for her than leaving her behind. He humoured her, but he was also humouring himself. She knew as much as he did—though he'd deny it—that he wanted to be with her.

They both fell quiet, listening to the music and watching the couples dance below. Colette would have loved to dance, but she'd figure Lloyd would refuse. It wasn't as if either of them could dance anyway...

Colette's eyes drifted from the dance floor, scanning the others. "Sheena's here now too."

Lloyd looked at her and then down below, locating their friend. She was with Zelos, dressed in a simple dark gown talking fervently to him. Colette knew it was about them and she knew Lloyd knew it as well. "Will you talk to them?"

He didn't say anything for a time and Colette watched their friends talking to each other. It had been so long since she'd spoken to either of them. She barely knew Zelos, but he was still a friend and Sheena had helped her so many times after Lloyd had vanished. She missed the older girl's company and sharp personality. Even if Lloyd didn't want to talk with them, Colette would ask to before they left for Sylvarant.

"I will if that's what you want." She looked at him in surprise and he had stepped back from the railing, staring at her. "It's what is upsetting you, isn't it? That I distance myself from them?"

Truthfully, that wasn't the case at the moment. She had come to accept his decision to distance himself. However, admitting that she wanted to Lloyd to talk with them, rather than tell him she was jealous, was more appealing to her. And he was right, in a sense. She did want him to talk to them. She nodded hesitantly and then smiled. "Thank you."

Lloyd glanced to the side, frowning slightly. It was hard for him, she knew that, but he couldn't keep locking himself away.

He turned back to her, and then glanced down at her hand still resting on her stomach, staring. Colette's eyes widened for a moment and quickly removed it, suddenly afraid that he'd become suspicious and notice the swell beneath the dress. Of course, she wanted him to know, but she wasn't ready to tell him and—

"You are wearing the ring."

Colette stared at him blankly and then looked at her hand, realizing that she was still wearing the ring she had put on this morning. "Oh...yes I am."

Lloyd opened his mouth and then closed it, rubbing the side of his face. "So you...accept?"

It was a ridiculous question of course. She was wearing the ring on the specified finger. She nearly laughed aloud at his awkwardness. Of course, she accepted. Did he honestly believe she wouldn't? Then again, it wasn't as if he had formally presented it to her, or asked. The ring had been given with a note that hadn't even suggested its real meaning. Colette knew the ring was an engagement ring, but it hadn't been concrete. If he wanted to know her answer, he'd have to ask her.

She slid the ring off her finger and held it out to him. His expression faltered and he took it slowly, confusion and pain flickering in his eyes. Colette smiled and then turned her hand over, holding it out to him palm down. She said nothing and for the longest moment, Lloyd just stood there looking at her, not comprehending her actions. She could tell he wanted to ask what she was doing, but a part of him struggled to maintain some dignity and desired to puzzle it out himself.

Finally, realization seemed to spark and he smiled in amusement and took her hand, lowering to one knee. He stared up at her, his eyes glinting from the lights above and Colette felt her heartbeat quicken as he smiled warmly up at her. "Colette..."

He turned his eyes toward her hand and gently slid the ring back onto her finger. Slowly, he moved his hand over it, clasping her tiny one between his and turned his eyes back up to her. "Will you marry me?"

Colette felt as she'd burst. Even though she knew what he would ask, the thrill of his voice speaking the words, the way he looked up at her, the warmth of his hands over hers.

She smiled softly and placed her other hand on his. The music seemed to fade away as she lowered onto her own knees. Leaning forward, she kissed him. He responded tentatively and she could feel him relax, his eyes opening slowly as she pulled back.

"Of course, I will."

**Please Review.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Listening to **Stranger in the Mirror by Trapt and Broken Road by Rascal Flatts. **I am in a good mood today. My friend, Freaky did amazing on her Physics test, the Tales of Symphonia anime put out a ten minute extract today for the new upcoming episode and because I have such wonderful people reviewing and reading the story, I decided I'll post this chapter extra early. And rereading this chapter, I remembered how much I enjoyed writing it. So I hope you do as well.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 20:**

The rest of the night passed quickly. Lloyd looped his arm around Colette as they descended the stairs from the balcony. While the dance continued down below, they had stayed up on the balcony together. Old memories filled the hours, retellings of funny and embarrassing stories making Colette laugh and even gaining a chuckle from Lloyd.

It was amazing how quickly they shifted between emotions and feelings. Lloyd barely fathomed what had occurred so far during that night. Jumping for contentment to anger and back he felt confused; yet, blissfully happy at the same time. He was engaged, to Colette no less. It seemed surreal. If he couldn't feel her beside him and see the ring glittering on her finger, he would believe it nothing more than a dream.

When the final song was called, Lloyd responded by wrapping his arm even tighter around Colette's shoulder, pulling her close as he led her to the stairs. The night was ending and, frankly, he didn't wish for it to. Derris Kharlan awaited him once he returned Colette to Iselia and, for a brief moment, he considered not going back to that desolate comet. But that would be deluding himself and knowing it was just wistful thinking on his part. He had to return. Right now, he was simply caught up in the moment of ignorant bliss. A temporary mirage of what the future might possibly promise.

Voices became louder as they neared the bottom the stairs, Colette pressed warmly against him, her high-shoes in one hand after she had tripped for the third time. They both paused at the entrance, watching the couples leaving, all either exhausted or slurred from the drinks they had consumed. Colette tilted her head up, smiling warmly at him and Lloyd gave her a squeeze in response, before merging into the dissipating crowd.

The illusion was vanishing, and Lloyd felt the lethargic tension returning as he warily scanned the crowds. If Colette noticed, she said nothing and he was grateful. There was no sign of Zelos or Sheena and Lloyd presumed they gave up and left early. His promise to speak to them tore at him inside. He didn't know what to expect from the two Tethe'allans and would prefer avoiding them. However, he had promised Colette...

"Are we going back to the Castle?" Colette asked quietly. The sounds were fading behind them as the nobles departed towards their homes. Lloyd slowed the pace down, glancing upwards as they neared the courtyard. He could faintly see a couple of stars, but even the faint glow of the lampposts dulled them. He paused as they passed one of the flowerbeds and then turned, leading her to one of the benches.

"Not yet. Unless you are tired." He sat, pulling her down with him.

Colette gave him a fake scowl, a smile showing through. "I don't need to sleep. You know that."

Lloyd shrugged, letting her lean against him. A lone bird cooed, then fell silent. Crickets chirped continuously, hidden with the flowerbeds. He listened to Colette's heart beating rhythmically, her breathing slow and deep. He glanced down to her hand, the ring glinting softly from the nearby lamp. He smiled and closed his eyes, leaning his head against her.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, just listening to the night air when a pair of footsteps approached. His eyes opened, but he didn't move. They were moving quickly and he assumed the persons would just move on by. Colette stirred against him, having heard them as well and looked up at him.

Just as he thought, the people hurried past, the swish of cloth on the cobbled path and slap of bare feet. However, Lloyd's stomach dropped when they spoke and his eyes lifted to look at the figures.

"I hate these shoes! I don't know why I let you convince me to wear these clothes anyway."

"Aw, Sheena, you looked gorgeous. A little pain is worth the result, don't you think?" Zelos countered and his eyes drifted over towards Lloyd and Colette before back at Sheena. Perhaps it was dark enough that they weren't recognized.

"Lloyd..." Colette straightened, but Sheena's hiss cut her off.

"What result? I didn't even get a chance to see them and now you say we have to sneak into the castle to find them? I think you are just lying about this whole charade in pitiful attempt to get me alone." Sheena stalked over to another bench and started rubbing her feet, Corrine sitting beside her, his little bell ringing as he moved his head.

Zelos sighed heavily and stood in front of her. "Sheena, I wouldn't lie about this." When she didn't look up, he sighed again and turned around, eyeing the castle. His gaze passed over them, lingering for a second and then fell back to Sheena. "I'm serious though, that Lloyd guy was weird. If he hadn't been with Colette, I probably wouldn't have recognized him."

"Lloyd's dead, Zelos," Sheena murmured and Lloyd felt his stomach tighten into a knot. The cruel irony of her words cutting into him. Colette stiffened and pulled free of Lloyd's arm. He let her, watching as she hurried across the courtyard towards them. He stood slowly and followed, the anxiety eating him away inside.

"Sheena! Zelos!" Colette called and both of them turned, surprised as she hurried up to them, her long, red dress billowing behind her. Lloyd could hear the happiness in her voice as she practically tackled Sheena in a hug.

"Colette! What—" Sheena gaped at her, standing and looking her over. "You are actually here!"

"Of course she is. That's what I've been telling you." Zelos smiled and glanced over to where Lloyd slowly approached. "And so is, Bud. Changed your mind and come to talk?" Zelos smiled, but it was a stiff and uneasy.

Lloyd didn't bother answering, stopping a few feet from them. Corrine stared at him, rising to his feet, but stayed on the bench. Sheena stared in disbelief at Lloyd. "Y-you're alive!"

"I think that much is apparent," Lloyd answered, glancing at Colette who smiled encouragingly at him. He hesitated. "You are looking well."

Sheena's disbelief changed to a mixture of anger and confusion. "Looking well—? What-where have you been you—you idiot?"

Lloyd raised an eyebrow and glanced at Zelos, who was watching him. "I would have thought Tethe'alla's Chosen would have informed you of that."

Zelos frowned at the title and then shrugged. "I did. She didn't seem to want to believe me though."

Sheena frowned and brushed past Colette, approaching Lloyd. "Lloyd...it's-it's really you? But—"

"Is it much easier to accept my death than my physical form?" Lloyd asked bitterly, causing Sheena to flinch.

"Lloyd, don't say that," Colette admonished him.

Sheena glanced back at her and then back at him, her face twisting. "Then Zelos was—How could you do that?"

"Sheena..." Corrine called, his high-pitched voice tentative, his eyes not leaving Lloyd.

Lloyd frowned slightly as he glanced at the man-made summon spirit. Corrine still seemed protective of Sheena as always—or from what he could remember. Something about the way the little fox-like creature watched him bothered Lloyd, but still, he turned his attention back to Sheena.

Lloyd recalled Sheena's fury as violent and impulsive. Whenever she was flustered or embarrassed, she'd react with an explosive burst of anger. It seemed that much hadn't changed for her. Then again, he supposed he should have expected that type of reaction regardless.

"That's what I'd like to know as well, Lloyd." Zelos uncrossed his arms, brushing his hair back over his shoulder absently. "What does it feel like to betray your friends?"

"Do I really need to explain that to you?" Lloyd locked eyes with him. Zelos hesitated and then shrugged. Assuming by his reaction, Lloyd figured Zelos' former alliance was still a secret. Kratos had told Lloyd about Zelos' role in Cruxis. It had stung a bit, to know that Zelos would betray them so easily, even though Lloyd had only known him for a few days. Especially when Lloyd found out that Zelos turned around and pulled out of the truce he'd made with Cruxis a few weeks after Lloyd had been captured. Apparently, Tethe'alla's Chosen could feel remorse for condemning a companion to death. Lloyd smirked. Perhaps that is why Zelos was resenting him so much now, since Lloyd was actually still alive.

The women looked between the glaring men before Sheena spun and fixed Lloyd with a heated scowl. "So you really are one of them." It was a flat statement and Lloyd decided not to argue it.

"No, Sheena. Listen, he's in Cruxis, but he's not—"

"Colette, what were thinking?" Sheena turned on her. "Why are you travelling with him? Don't you realize how dangerous this is?"

"You're not listening!" Colette raised her voice. "He's our friend!"

Sheena hesitated, glancing back at Lloyd. "I know that...," she said quietly, more to herself than to anyone else. Louder, she asked him, "Why did you do it?"

"It was the best decision at the time," Lloyd answered slowly.

"That's not an answer!" Sheena snapped. "Lloyd, how could you—You hated Cruxis! How could you join them? Did you forget what they tried to do to Colette?"

Lloyd studied her for a moment. Nearly in her thirties, Sheena hadn't changed a whole lot. She looked older, yes, but she still had that childish tendency about her. Betrayal scared her. It was why she made a pitiful assassin in the first place. If she had any inkling of a connection with someone, she blindly believed that it was a safety line and wouldn't snap. He had admired her for that quality. Back then anyway...

However, yet again, Lloyd was forced to deal with a one-mind set individual. She and Genis were undoubtedly alike in this.

"He's not going to answer your questions. Not unless it's convenient for him, right..._Aurion?_"Zelos smirked at him, but his eyes dark and suspicious. "Why are you using that old man's name? Didn't he betray you guys before? Is that supposed to be some pitiful attempt to hide your identity?"

"It's achieving its purpose," Lloyd replied, meeting his eye. "After all, if it wasn't for Colette's company, you probably wouldn't have recognized me."

Zelos flinched and frowned, probably suspicious at having his very words thrown back at him. Especially since Lloyd shouldn't have been able to hear them.

"You're even talking like that traitor! What's wrong with you, Lloyd? Kratos betrayed you! Cruxis wants to kill Colette! Don't you remember that?" Sheena was getting desperate. Colette looked at Lloyd anxiously, as the ninja stepped towards him.

Corrine's bell tinkled as he paced anxiously.

"I remember. Those facts actually have some merit in my decision." Lloyd sighed as Sheena's face darkened dangerously. "Are you quite finished interrogating me?"

"If you want to leave, go right ahead!" Sheena snapped, a catch in her voice betraying her real feelings. "But Colette stays here!"

He frowned. "I'm afraid not."

"Sheena, please. He's not going—" Colette gripped the older girl's arm.

"He's dangerous, Colette. Cruxis wants your pretty little body, remember?" Zelos stepped over to her, taking her arm as he glanced at Lloyd. "I wouldn't be surprised if he's just messing with your head before he hands you over."

"Is it not her choice to stay with whom she wishes?" His hand reached across to his sword. He didn't want to threaten them, but he wasn't about to just walk away either.

"Lloyd! Don't!" Colette shouted at him and he hesitated, but didn't remove his hand. She pulled her arm free from Zelos, looking at her friends firmly. "I'm staying with him.

"Colette—" Sheena shook her head.

"He's not going to hurt me and he's not going to take me to Cruxis. Why would he go through all the trouble of bringing me here if that's what he wanted to do?"

Sheena and Zelos frowned, but had no answer for that. Lloyd could see the indecision in their eyes as they looked at him and he relaxed his grip.

"Are you ready to go?" Lloyd asked, turning his gaze on her. She nodded, glancing at her friends sadly.

"Colette, wait..." Sheena hesitated. "Can I talk to you for a second, alone?" she glanced at Lloyd as she said it.

Lloyd hesitated and then nodded when Colette looked at him. "I'll wait in front of the castle." Without waiting for a reply, Lloyd turned and walked away, but it didn't stop him from listening.

* * *

"Has he threatened you?" Sheena asked immediately after he left. "Colette, has he hurt you?"

"What—? Sheena, how could you even ask—?"

Zelos cut her off, sharply. "Why you are defending him, Colette? I know he was a long time friend, or something for you, but that doesn't change the fact that he's switched sides. He's your enemy; you do realize that, don't you?"

The same argument all over again and Colette felt as if she was a broken record that was being ignored. "Sheena, I thought you would understand the best out of all of us. Don't you remember how Lloyd helped you in Luin?"

"There is a difference here, Colette. I was your enemy and I became your friend. I'm not going to turn around and try to kill you again! That's what he's doing, Colette." Sheena pointed in the direction that Lloyd had left. "Do you know something that we don't? Is he lying about being in Cruxis?"

Colette hesitated. "No, he's not lying, but there is a reason why he is."

"Of course. He switched sides." Zelos scoffed.

"No." Colette frowned at him and then made a split decision. "He...He was protecting us. He stays in Cruxis to keep us safe."

The statement caught both of them off-guard; Zelos and Sheena exchanged quick glances and then Sheena asked. "How does that work?"

"Lloyd...If Lloyd openly left Cruxis and tried to find us all, Yggdrasill would track him down and wait for us all to gather together and then attack us." Colette tried to summarize. She knew it was more than that...

"Yggdrasill could be doing that right now! Did you think of that? Maybe that's why Lloyd hasn't taken you back yet." Zelos countered angrily. "Maybe he's using you to locate us all."

"No!" Colette shook her head. "Lloyd, didn't want to bring me here tonight, I wanted to come."

Sheena hesitated. "I want to believe you, Colette, I do. But, why doesn't Lloyd explain all this? He never gave us any straight answers. It's like he doesn't want to tell us, but he expects us to trust him?"

"He's your friend." Colette sighed sadly. "That should be enough to put trust in him."

"I don't know him anymore, Colette. He's different. He's—he acts like one of them. That's not the same Lloyd from the Journey of Regeneration. That Lloyd was hot-headed, rash and a idiot. At first, when he walked up I was happy to find him alive, but now..." she trailed off.

"Sounds like you just read off a eulogy there, hunny—Ow! Sheena!" Zelos whined as Sheena punched his shoulder.

"This isn't the time for jokes, Zelos. Just because I am mad, doesn't mean that I don't care. Maybe if that idiot actually tried to explain things..." Sheena sighed and looked at Colette. "Just promise me you will be careful, okay?"

Colette nodded, smiling softly. "Thank you, Sheena. He is the same Lloyd deep down."

"I hope you are right."

* * *

A hum of life lifted through the darkness, floating across the night air. The smell of stone and mortar, the basis of the city, faintly mixed with the dry, sweetness of the grassland without the walls. Dim orbs of light rose sporadically across the city, the lampposts barely penetrating the blanketing darkness. A dog whined, insects buzzed and chirped and the far off sound of drunken men shouting in the taverns. Even in the night, where life is thought to have stopped, it continued on, undeterred and unconsciously filling the silence with its sounds. It gives no thought to what happens to the individuals, it carries on, from one day to the next, unaffected by the struggles of the creatures living upon the planet.

There was a time when Lloyd wondered what his presence really meant in the greater mosaic. He had vanished, but time hadn't stopped because he had. He changed, as did his old friends. They all moved on, struggling to survive as he had. He hadn't forgotten them. He never had. In the seven years he had been stumbling through, morphing into someone he had never imagined, he had never forgotten what he was leaving behind. Or who. They had just been pushed to the back of his mind...

It seemed his friends hadn't either and that was the cruel irony. People don't remain the same forever, Lloyd had learned that the moment he finally saw himself n a mirror after years of being on Derris Kharlan. A man replaced the boy. Dark, russet eyes staring back at him from his reflection. His hair had grown and hung unruly, darkened from the lack of sunlight. The undertones of red he inherited from his father showing through, making his untanned skin seem even paler. He wasn't sickly, rather just untainted by the rays of sunlight. It had frightened him, the first time he had truly stopped and seen himself in the mirror.

He was broader, taller. The weeks of exercise and training sculpted his physique much further than running through the woods ever had. He wore his father's face, his father's eyes, and even, unconsciously, his father's stance. The horror was there. Lloyd could still remember his failure to recognize the person staring back at him. Yggdrasill had told him it would happen and his words haunted him as he saw change with his own eyes, when he saw it in his friends' eyes.

Lloyd sighed, bowing his head. He faintly heard Colette say his name, sitting down beside him, but he didn't respond. This change was what he had feared and why he had avoided them. He was not who they wanted to see and he couldn't give them what they wanted. A stranger with his name...that's how they viewed him.

That hesitation they gave—even from Colette when she first saw him—that hesitation that told him flat out they didn't recognize him. He knew there were enough similarities for them to suspect, but as Zelos had said, he probably wouldn't have been recognized if it weren't for Colette. That had been his fear since that day the stranger in the reflection stared back at him.

"Lloyd, don't cry." Colette said quietly, her hand lying on his cheek, turning his face toward her.

Cry? He wasn't...

It was then he felt faint dampness on his cheek as Colette brushed her thumb over it. She looked at him sadly, smiling. "They don't hate you, Lloyd. They are just concerned."

"You told them my reason." _Or at least part of it..._

He searched her face, his throat strangely dry and cracked as he spoke. He swallowed and took Colette's hand from his face, slightly embarrassed he had allowed himself to cry in front of her.

Colette nodded. "I did, but it worked. Sheena is willing to give you a chance. All she wants is an explanation. Zelos, too."

An explanation...It sounded so simple and perhaps it was. Just explain everything like he had with Colette. Ask them to forgive him and return to how life was. So easy...

But it was an illusion. He could explain and ask their forgiveness, but he'd have to go back. He'd have to return to Cruxis and they would hate him for it. Life wouldn't return to normal. They didn't want him, they wanted the Lloyd that Sheena had so vibrantly describe moments before.

"Lloyd..."

And he couldn't give them that.

"You don't have to be afraid. They are your friends."

He had gone over this a million times in his head, over and over, on how he would approach them. It had terrified him. Colette's fear, Genis' anger, Presea's indifference, Zelos and Sheena's suspicion, and Raine's disappointment...

Lloyd closed his eyes and stood, brushing off Colette's hand and walked out of the shadows. A breeze brushed over him, ruffling his hair and he opened his eyes, slightly blurred as he stared up into the sky. A crescent moon shone down, illuminating the courtyard, the occasional star winking into view.

Seven years ago, Lloyd had never imagined he'd be standing here, his mind tearing him apart inside as he struggled between logic and desire. His life had changed so much and so had his future plans. It all seemed so far off and distant like it was some foolish dream he had. However, back then, it could have been his life...

Colette would have been a part of that past life too. As would have the Sages' and the others. What kind of life it would have been, he didn't know and yet...

She took his hand and he looked down at her, his cheeks once again dampened by unwanted tears. She looked up at him worriedly and then smiled softly, leaning in to embrace him. "It will be alright." She spoke the words with conviction and finality and he found himself believing her. As much as he had sacrificed, as much as his world had been torn apart and rearranged, there were moments in which he would never have replaced. He had met his father, he had matured both mentally and physically and he was engaged to Colette.

He gently moved back, looking down at her. She tilted her head, waiting curiously, as he went to speak. "I've lost...many things. Mainly who I originally was and I can't get that back."He lifted his hand, stopping her from speaking. "I've lost friends, trust and my identity. However, life changes and those things are lost in every person's life simply by the choices we've made."

"Do you regret those choices then?" Colette asked softly.

"No," he answered without hesitation. She blinked, surprised and he explained. "If I regret those choices, I regret my life as it is. I made those choices, even if they weren't the most ideal. And I would remake those sacrifices if this is the end result."

She was confused, he could tell as she tried to figure it out. "But, I don't understand. I thought..."

His hand reached down and lifted hers, bringing the ring into view and she looked at it as he spoke. "I'd gladly go through it all again, if it means I am with you for the rest of my life. I know the struggles and tribulations haven't passed yet, but as of now. I am willing to keep facing them to protect you." He frowned slightly, rubbing his thumb against her hand. "At first, I thought I'd be unable to, that I was the only danger in your life. But, you have suffered just as I have and I want to believe I can end that for both of us. I want to believe we can pull through and have a life together."

She stared up at him, stunned, but only for a minute before she flung her arms around his neck and kissed him, smiling and crying as she pulled back. "Me too, Lloyd. I would face it all again too."

"I know you would." Lloyd smiled softly, brushing her hair that hung around her cheeks, searching her luminous blue eyes. His chest ached as he gazed down at her. Years of memories and feelings knotting inside him. He loved her and he knew it began long before the Journey of Regeneration. It had always been there ever since they had become friends, kindling and simmering as their friendship grew. She had been willing to give her life for him and he could never forget that feeling when she had lost her soul, the way she looked at him with tears in her eyes as she said good-bye.

Colette smiled up at him, oblivious to his thoughts and the way his heart ached from the memories. He brushed her hair back again, feeling her shiver from his touch as he kissed her again, knowing that he'd do everything in his power to keep her alive and happy. He wanted to be there for her and he swore to himself that he always would be.

* * *

_"Do you think she would be happy?"_

_"Who?"_

_"Mom."_

_The quiet, calm returned to the room as Kratos lifted his gaze from the chessboard to his son. The idle tap of his foot stilled and Lloyd met his gaze for a moment, before sliding a pawn up one square. It had been a couple of years since Lloyd had come to Derris Kharlan and fewer still since he had been let out of that room. His room—he didn't like to call it that. He hadn't been back into it yet. _

_"No. I don't think she would." Kratos lowered his eyes to the locket around Lloyd's neck._

_Lloyd noticed, but shifted his eyes back to the game, waiting for Kratos' move. _

_"Why not?"_

_"Must you really ask that?" A quick flick of his hand removed Lloyd's pawn easily, the position replaced with a knight._

_"Hmm..." Lloyd frowned, sliding another pawn forward. "I think she might. In a small way."_

_His father paused, finger on the rook as he frowned at Lloyd. "In what way, would she be happy about the circumstances?" He slid it forward, eliminating another pawn. "Her son is imprisoned—"_

_"I decided to stay—"_

_"Imprisoned in the organization we fled from. The organization we were protecting you from." Kratos finished, ignoring his interruption._

_Lloyd frowned, but let it slide, advancing another pawn. "I wasn't talking about that."_

_"Is that so? What else is there?" Kratos frowned and considered the game board, his eyes flickering up to Lloyd occasionally._

_Lloyd leaned back in his chair, his expression passive. His eyes were on the chess pieces as well. "You."_

_Kratos paused then frowned further as he moved his bishop. "Me?"_

_"We were reunited." Lloyd stated flatly._

_"I see."_

_"You don't think that's a good thing?" Lloyd watched his father carefully. It was a pointless question. Lloyd knew that Kratos, despite sharing guilt, enjoyed having his son with him. _

_"I didn't say that."_

_"You don't say much of anything," Lloyd retorted, easily displacing Kratos' rook. "I think Mom would be happy about that."_

_"Yes. I suppose she would." Kratos paused, removing another pawn. "To an extent."_

_"Yes. To an extent."_

_Kratos lifted his gaze. "She would be happy, if you were."_

_"I am happy." _

_"No you're not."_

_Lloyd smirked bitterly, moving his knight to block Kratos' bishop. "Why would you say that?"_

_"I know when you are lying, Lloyd. You miss them." _

_"Who?" Lloyd tilted his head, studying the board. "Your turn—"_

_Kratos leaned back, frowning at him. "Even after all this time you still try and pretend. It may work for Yggdrasill, but not me."_

_"Hmm. Still your move," Lloyd answered, twisting one of Kratos' pieces in his fingers._

_Kratos sighed and moved his rook. "To be honest, I think your mother would be exasperated."_

_"Why's that?" Lloyd knocked the rook away easily with his queen. "You're slipping, Dad."_

_"I see that." Kratos carefully moved a bishop back protectively. "Your mother wouldn't appreciate having to deal with two of us. I tended to exasperate her."_

_"Heh. No doubt you did." Lloyd paused, looking at his father. The locket he wore hung heavily around his neck. He was very aware of the line he had crossed with his father. Kratos had never liked talking about Anna. Not like this anyway._

_"I think she was happy though." He touched the locket gently, rubbing the smooth metal. "She's smiling in this picture."_

_Kratos' eyed the locket for a moment, then moved another piece. "Yes. I think you're right."_

_"Do you regret it?" His father stiffened slightly and Lloyd quickly elaborated. "About my coming here."_

_The tension remained, his jaw clenched. "A part of me, yes."_

_"I don't." _

_Kratos lifted his head, confusion in his eyes. "You don't?"_

_"Not entirely, no." Lloyd brushed his hair back, frowning as he moved his knight. "I've learned a lot being here. About myself, who I am...who I'm not..."_

_"Lloyd..."_

_"Of course, I'd rather not know most of it. Naivety was a blessing to be sure. Everything back then..." His eyes closed, smirking slightly. "...Everything was so much simpler."_

_Kratos shifted in his seat. "I would rather you never became involved in this mess."_

_"Heh." Lloyd released a bitter chuckle, opening his eyes to look at his father. "And where would I be then? An ignorant boy, hell bent on saving the world from evil forces. I wouldn't know the history of the worlds, of the Kharlan heroes. I've learned what can and cannot be done. I know Cruxis' weaknesses and strengths..." He smiled crookedly, a twist in the corner of his mouth. "And I know my father. No, I don't regret it."_

_"And you believe that is...worth it?" Lloyd caught the disbelief in his father's voice and the flicker of gratitude and guilt in his eyes. _

_"I do."_

_There was a pause. "And what of your friends? What of Colette?"_

_Lloyd stared at the chessboard, pondering Kratos' questions, moving his piece. "I regret not being able to explain my decisions. The reasons behind my betrayal—"_

_"You haven't betrayed—"_

_"In their eyes I would have. If I had the chance to explain...No. I don't believe they would understand, regardless. I don't regret it. Not entirely. I regret that I will—or very well already lost them as friends, but I will use my position in Cruxis to protect them. I will utilize everything I have become to protect them. Even if it means leaving them behind." He didn't isolate Colette from the others. He couldn't. It stung a lot more otherwise._

_Kratos frowned, then slowly moved his piece. "I still believe they won't abandon you, Lloyd. They are your friends, regardless of how much time has passed."_

"_I suppose only time will tell. After all, time is all I have here. Time to think, time to learn and time to plan." _

"_Plan what?" Kratos asked, raising an eyebrow._

"_How to bring Yggdrasill to his knees, without jeopardizing your life. And then..." Lloyd moved his queen in to place and smirked, rising from his chair. "Checkmate." _

**Please Review.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Listening to **Fighting by Yellowcard**. Thanks to all the readers and everyone who reviews. I love reading them and always greatly appreciate all your comments. Hope you enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 21: **

Dawn rose like a fiery dome on the horizon, staining the sky with vibrant shades. The vegetation was still wet with dew and the birds were already orchestrating their songs throughout the forest. The air was sharp and cool as Colette made her way through the forest to her home. She glanced over her shoulder, but Lloyd had already left with a promise he'd come as soon as he could. It was more than enough for her and she was content to wait for him.

He still wanted to avoid confrontation with her friends, so he had left her northeast of the house near the cliff. They had departed early in the morning, before the castle awoke, their formal clothes replaced with their travel wear. Lloyd had been concerned that Yggdrasill would grow impatient with him and send someone to check up on him. Colette knew too that her friends would be worried about her as well. The sooner they returned, the better, Lloyd told her.

Last night replayed in Colette's mind as she walked slowly through the trees, smiling contently at the memory. Slowly Lloyd was allowing himself to feeling again. His words and confession sparked that familiar fire of determination that he use to have, even if he didn't realize it. He was opening up again, and it was only a matter of time before he would let his friends in too. He wouldn't change entirely, but Colette didn't want him to. She loved Lloyd for Lloyd, no matter what.

She giggled, and spun around, light as a feather and overwhelmed by her feelings. The life she never thought she'd have was slowly lying out before her like rocks across a river. It was an unsteady and slippery path, but one that could be crossed, nevertheless.

Smiling, Colette hurried back to her home, half dancing and humming as she went. She didn't know whether her friends would be there and that didn't matter. It seemed like years of fear and hopelessness had been lifted from her shoulders; and she couldn't be happier. Slowly, but surely, felt as if the world was sorting itself out for her.

Distracted by her thoughts, she nearly shrieked when Noishe came barrelling out of the trees towards her. He stopped before colliding into her, but paced and whined anxiously around her, butting her with his head and nipping her hands.

"Noishe?" Colette put her hand on him, trying to comfort him. "What's wrong?"

The protozoan whined, but turned his head in the direction he came from. The direction of the house.

Colette frowned and started forward, realizing now she could hear muffled voices. She reached behind her, unfastening her chakrams. She knew that Noishe wouldn't act like this if it were her friends. Someone else was there.

With the massive protozoan trailing her, Colette hurried the rest of the way to the house, quickly and silently. Thankfully, Noishe did as well, though he was still nervous.

She reached the tree line near the stream, putting a hand on Noishe's muzzle to keep him quiet. Lifting her head above the foliage, she peered into the clearing. Her eyes widened as she saw a group of five Desians standing before the open door of the house talking.

"Well someone has been living here, that's for sure, but it looks like they took off." One informed, exiting the house.

"Chickened out, probably. Though you think after the way they slaughtered Hanson and his boys, they'd put up more of a fight." A woman sighed, twisting her spear point into the ground. "What a waste of time."

"I wouldn't say that," a man said. "We know now that it was probably one of the wanted brats. Wasn't this Lord Aurion's old home or something? The kid with the dwarf."

"Lord Aurion?" the woman asked. "You can't be serious; this is where he came from?"

"I think so; he was that wanted brat with the exsphere, 074—"

"Will you lot shut up?" A taller man snapped. "Look, we are finished here, let's report back and be done with this mess."

Colette figured the tall man was the leader and she ducked lower. Relief flooded through her at his words. If they reported back that the house was abandoned, then the Desians would be more likely to forget about this area. She pulled back, waiting for them to leave and smiled down at Noishe, lying beside her. He looked up at her with large dark eyes, worried.

"I say we burn it, before we leave," the woman said suddenly. "If we burn it, those inferior humans will stop using it as a hideout."

Colette jerked her head up, looking back at the Desians, horrified.

"You might have a point. Besides. It will teach them a lesson if they ever return." The leader agreed. "Alright, burn it all. Destroy the whole area."

Colette's mouth fell open and her hands gripped her chakrams tightly, her palms stinging as blood slid through her fingers and dripped to the ground. Noishe whined softly as Colette's eyes hardened. She would not allow them to do this. This was Lloyd's home! This is where he grew up! This was their home!

Her eyes snapped to the Desians as they spread out, preparing to cast their spells. Time slow down at that moment and Colette made an instant decision and quite possibly the biggest mistake she could in this situation.

She stood up and rushed out.

The Desians never even seemed to notice, their backs towards her, focused on their casting. It wasn't until the hum of a chakram sliced through the arm of one of the men that they all turn around, their companion screaming as he fell to his knees, clutching the large gash on his arm.

Colette stood, glaring angrily as them, her hand reaching out to catch the returning chakram. They stood, staring at her dumbfounded and she wasn't about to wait for them to snap out of it. She spun quickly, releasing her chakram again, this time aiming for the leader's neck.

Unfortunately, the Desian saw it coming and reacted just in time, his sword lifting clumsily, deflecting the weapon with a harsh clang. The force caused him to stagger and Colette rushed forward to reclaim her charkam, while brandishing her second.

Her mind screamed at her, shouting out she was insane, but Colette shoved it away along with her fear. She wasn't going to run anymore! This was her home, Lloyd's home and it would be her child's home! She wasn't about to let these—these monsters destroy it! She wasn't going to run!

The Desians snapped out of it. The woman with the spear rushed forward, thrusting it forward. Colette turned quickly and grabbed the staff with her free hand, slashing the woman's arm with her chakram. The woman cried out and released the spear. Colette didn't hesitate, twisting the spear in her hand; she swung out and knocked the woman's legs out from beneath her, sending her crashing to the ground.

"You wench!" The leader barked and slashed at her. Colette barely brought her charkam up to block. It jarred her, and she saw blood drip down her wrist, where the chakram dug into her palm again. Ignoring it, Colette rammed the butt end of the spear into the man's stomach and he flew back, slamming into the house.

She wasn't going to hold back.

Spinning, she dove for her missing charkam, dropping the spear. She grabbed it and spun quickly, just as a sword thrust at her stomach. Her eyes widened and she brought the chakrams up, metal clashing together before and she felt warmth running down her side as the sword careened and slashed her hip.

Staggering, she stepped back and then lunged forward, the circular edge slicing through the Desian's neck. Blood splattered all over as the body dropped to the ground.

The four remaining Desian had gotten to their feet, now advancing towards her. Even the woman and man with the injured arms were bearing their weapons with opposite hands. The leader, breathing hard, enraged glared at her.

"You made a terrible mistake, human." He advanced, brandishing his sword. "You are going to pay dearly for this."

Colette stepped back, her injured hip buckling slightly. Narrowing her eyes dangerously, before she closed them, letting her mana surge towards her back. The Desians faltered as her wings unfurled behind her, spreading out.

"Oh Holy Ones, cast thy purifying light upon these corrupt souls." She recited, her eyes opening slowly, flashing as she locked on to the Desians. Fear filled their face, fear and disbelief causing them to hesitate. The wings coming from her back stunned them. Realization of who she really was, filling their eyes as she uttered the final word.

"Judgment."

The light came down and exploded at it struck the ground. The Desians screamed once, before the light mana descended upon them, incinerating their skin and blinding them, pounding them over and over, as they attempted to run and escape.

Colette lifted her chakrams as the final beams vanished, limping over to the groaning soldiers. The leader's eyes locked onto hers, eyes wide as she stood over him, struggling to reach for his sword.

She swallowed, her hands shaking as she stared down at him, unnoticed tears falling from her eyes.

The chakram swept down.

* * *

_Ignoring his throbbing cheek and the taste of blood in his mouth, Lloyd straightened, keeping his eyes averted as Yggdrasill stood before him. Every muscle tensed and acutely aware to every motion the older man made, Lloyd waited passively. _

_"Why do you struggle, Lloyd? Do you honestly believe I will simply let you have your way?"_

_Lloyd shrugged, lifting his eyes to meet Yggdrasill's. "Can only hope."_

_Yggdrasill seemed amused by this, and Lloyd warily reconsidered his words, but couldn't find any fault in saying them._

_"Hope. And what hope is that, Lloyd Aurion? A hope that I will tire of you and excuse you from my sight? Hope that you will continue these pitiful resistances until I feel I've wasted my time? No I hardly consider that anything to be hopeful for. Of course, what would you do after?"_

_Lloyd hesitated, frowning slightly as Yggdrasill circled him. He didn't move; his body instinctively flinching as Yggdrasill moved out of his line of vision. "You know as well as I do there is nothing left for you. This is your life now. You forsake your friends to protect them. Did you think I was blind to all the opportunities you had to leave this place? Or to your father's offers? You had already accepted your fate the moment I placed that key crest on your hand."_

_The words stung, but Lloyd controlled his reactions carefully, knowing it would only satisfy Yggdrasill further. "I've accepted nothing," he said evenly, watching as the angel walked back in front of him. _

_"Yes you have, Lloyd. All too easily. I control you now. I hold your life in my hand, to shape, manipulate and form into whatever I see fit. And you all too easily conform to my orders." The pale green eyes flashed as they bore down on Lloyd. _

_Lloyd swallowed, meeting Yggdrasill's eyes before forcing his gaze away._

_Yggdrasill laughed._

_"You cannot even bring yourself to deny it. You can see it happening. Feel it. You realize it even as you speak and act with me right now. Controlling your anger and avoiding meaningless arguments, you are trying to resist by using the very skills I am enforcing upon you. How very hypocritical, Lloyd."_

_He could not argue. Yggdrasill had him. The angel's fingers were curled firmly around his heart, squeezing and piercing his very being and Lloyd could do nothing to stop him. He could lie, he could shout and deny, but it truly didn't matter. They both knew it was true. _

_The loathing he felt for himself was possibly greater than that he felt for Yggdrasill. His weakness was what betrayed him. Being naive and so childish, he now looked back at himself in disgust, realizing how utterly inexperience and young he truly was. He could feel the transformation eating away at him, like an acid, corroding his very being. It was painful, hollowing out his structure in pockets and sections until he collapsed, crumbling in defeat and realization. _

_And still, it continued to eat away. It weakened him, exhausting his energy to keep himself together, so, Lloyd did the only thing he could. He had tried to rebuild himself. He was falling apart and it frightened him. He would not give in, would not succumb to a pitiful child that wept and begged for mercy at the feet of his captor. So he rebuilt, scavenging and reaching for anything and everything that could possibly sustain himself, give him support. And he did. Slowly, he found solid ground beneath his feet and carefully placed the bits and pieces in the areas he needed desperately, while stripping away anything that was unnecessary. Anything that was weak and frail._

_Lloyd balanced out his strengths and weaknesses, shifting between them, sacrificing one for another, knowing if he didn't, he would never survive. He was stripping away himself, a nightmare that he controlled and one he'd never wake up from and knew he needed to finish._

_"You are invaluable, Lloyd. Young, inexperienced, but invaluable. You often remind me of myself with your ideals of a better world."_

_Lloyd refocused his attention on Yggdrasill, noticing immediately the shift in his mood and approach. First mocking, then an offer of friendship..._

_"The worlds are dying, suffering and it is very unlikely that the route you and your companions originally thought would benefit it. The worlds are dying and the ones destroying it are the humans. You understand that as well as I do. You see it now, you've felt it, the pain of being different, separated and watching the races split themselves apart and in doing so, destroying the world around them."_

_"I strive to eliminate these dangers, prevent more suffering and you can aid me. I offer you this opportunity to fulfill your ideals, your hopes, in a way that would benefit all." The smile was as genuine as his insanity, yet, Lloyd felt a hint of understanding. There was logic to Yggdrasill's vision, revolting and unethical, but logical. He felt pity more than disgust for the man—no, child—before him. Lloyd could see now, the same childish ambitions he had, just twisted..._

_Was that what was happening to him? Was he being twisted around? It felt a lot like that. He felt disorganized and misplaced. Pieces of himself pushing against each other, trying to reclaim their original positions, winding around themselves tighter, more convoluted and then snap as they pushed over their limits and crumble away. He had trouble, now, discerning which pieces he was losing and if he should be concerned. What would be left of him after this nightmare was over?_

_Yggdrasill seemed to grow impatient waiting for his response, for he turned, shaking his head. "You understand; I see it and you never argued, so I am not entirely discouraged." He glanced back and Lloyd felt as if he was attempting to strip away his mask and see his thoughts. Lloyd knew Yggdrasill couldn't, Lloyd wasn't allowing himself to betray his thoughts. Despite the humiliating truth, Lloyd would utilize whatever he had to keep his mind his own. _

_Still, he amused Yggdrasill again, as if man knew something Lloyd didn't. It was possible, after all, Yggdrasill was the one pulling his strings. _

_"You've come far, Lloyd. Much farther than you would have ever thought possible. Seeing you now, one would never have thought would were the hot-headed human boy demanding answers." _

_Yes, that was true, Lloyd agreed. There was no doubt that he had matured, if anything, more than he would have even guessed. He knew who he resembled, but he didn't like to admit it. To admit it would be to say he was entirely gone. That wasn't true, yet. He still remembered and ached for his old life. Nothing more than a memory to watch as the long hours passed. To remember..._

_He supposed he would always remember. But...Would he? Even after the day, that he would finally reject that old life? Well...he'd have to see._

_Yggdrasill sighed and waved a hand at him. "I want you to perform a healing spell on yourself and show your wings. Then you can go."_

_The dull throb on his cheek returned with Yggdrasill's words and Lloyd faintly recognized the coppery taste of blood on his lower lip. It was dry now and he was sure the taste was only a memory. He considered the order, running his tongue against the cut inside his mouth, a sharp, momentary sting that faded quickly. He'd prefer to keep that sensation of feeling._

_He summoned his wings, stretching them out fully, then folded them against his back, meeting Yggdrasill's gaze levelly, not even making the effort to begin the other command. A short silence spanned between them, one attempting to wait out the other. Yggdrasill's patience always ran out first and Lloyd anticipated the strike. _

_Lloyd licked the fresh blood off his lower lip, relishing the sensation of fresh pain that already started to fade away as he blinked his darkened vision clear. It was a feeling, he reminded himself as he regained his footing, pushing off the floor. Not that he'd go out of his way to hurt himself, it would fade too quickly to be worth it, but it was nice to feel now and then. It reminded him a part of him was still human._

_He faced Yggdrasill again, then he summoned the spell, healing only the visible wounds on his cheek and outer lip. _

_"Excellent. You are dismissed." Yggdrasill nodded approvingly. _

_Lloyd stood there for a moment, then spat on the floor as he turned, the crimson salvia a stain on the white polished floor. _

_Yggdrasill's laughter followed him as he left. _

_Just another more day._

* * *

"So, have a good time the other night?"

Lloyd didn't even bother opening his eyes, never mind respond to Yuan's question. He shifted uncomfortably in the wooden inn chairs, listening to the rambling gossip of the locals as the memory faded.

Yuan kicked his foot. "At least pretend you are listening to me."

Lloyd's eyes opened slowly with annoyance. "What's the point, when you know I'm not anyway? Deception is your field, not mine."

"Really? Then what is your field?" Yuan tapped a spoon on the table, glancing at the crowd around him, but keeping his focus mainly on Lloyd.

"I don't have one." Lloyd closed his eyes again. "I just follow orders like a dog." The faint taste of blood resurfaced and faded. Just a memory, he told himself.

"A well trained mutt, hmm?" Yuan chuckled.

"Dog, not mutt. There is a difference," Lloyd muttered.

"Exactly my point. You're a mixed breed little mutt. I wonder what your father would think of that," Yuan said.

"I wouldn't ask him, if I were you." Lloyd smirked, then sighed, "Instead of insulting me, I'd rather you get to the point as to why we are in Sybak. I thought I finished all your little quests."

"Impatient as ever, it's not like you have anywhere to go, right?" Yuan smirked, waving away a serving girl.

Lloyd ignored his question again, eyeing a pair of Academy students that just entered.

"I still have a few jobs for you." Yuan continued after a moment.

Lloyd glanced at him, annoyed by the half-elf's attempts to make conversation. Lloyd would rather just finish whatever petty jobs Yuan had for him and return to Sylvarant. Not play guessing games with the man. He sighed and begrudgingly humoured his friend. "And what are they exactly?"

Yuan took a suspiciously long time to answer. He turned the spoon around in his fingers slowly. Lloyd narrowed his eyes, waiting impatiently as the voices around them grew louder, while the silence between the two men lengthened. Slowly, Yuan locked eyes with Lloyd.

"Rodyle."

Lloyd frowned. "The Cardinal in league with the Pope?"

"Do you know of any other Rodyles?" Yuan mocked. "Of course him."

Ignoring his sarcasm, Lloyd leaned forward, uncrossing his arms. "It's only word of mouth. You do realize that?"

"Both the Pope and Vharley mentioned Rodyle in their plans. Or so you claimed." Yuan eyed him. "That's more than enough reason to bring him in. Not to mention, Rodyle has no business being in Tethe'alla considering his ranch is in Sylvarant like all of the other Cardinals."

Lloyd shrugged. "Then isn't he Dad's responsibility?"

"Unfortunately, no, since he is periodically appearing in Tethe'alla." Yuan leaned back, studying Lloyd. "Normally, I would just let you handle this, but Rodyle is not one to be taken lightly. Besides, Yggdrasill doesn't want to lose another Cardinal based on rumours. He lost enough of them the Journey of Regeneration thanks to you. I know execution is your favourite form of justice."

"So why do you need me then? Why not just bring him in yourself." Lloyd countered, ignoring his mocking. He knew Yuan wasn't going to let him back out of this; Lloyd just wanted to hear Yuan admit he needed assistance, particularly his.

"For now it's just a bit of digging and researching the man." Yuan frowned. "Besides, you were ordered to accompany me in Tethe'alla and that's what you will do. I've been giving you leeway up until now for those mediocre jobs." Lloyd smirked and shook his head, earning a harsh glare from Yuan.

"You just don't want to dig for proof on your own. Why not just take him in and force it out of him?"

"Always with the violence and coercion. Just like your father. Besides, Kratos would murder me if you are so much as injured and Rodyle is not an unprepared man—where are you going?"

Lloyd stood, hand resting on his sword as he smirked down at Yuan. "You could have just said please." He waved away Yuan's next question, turning. "I have a headache; I'm stepping outside for some air."

Yuan's hesitation was enough to allow Lloyd to exit the inn. A salty breeze washed over him, mixed with metal and stone. Sybak was a gray city in his opinion. He could hear the water slapping against the stonewalls. Students and professors moved around the city square, yet it still held an almost industrial quality to it. Lloyd wouldn't even call it a city. In his opinion, it was an elaborate combination of education and research facilities. It was nearly impossible to locate any proper materials or supplies for passing travellers. The inn itself was barely suitable, usually crammed full of students on their breaks, or visiting relatives.

Lloyd sighed and started walking, weaving around kids with their noses in books or rushing blindly for their next class. Chasing Rodyle down was not going to be particularly easy, especially if Yuan believed he needed Lloyd to assist him. It didn't sound as if Yuan had anything concrete to begin with, which meant the majority of the time would be scavenging for proof of interference and traitorous acts. Of course, which meant Lloyd would be doing most of the scavenging.

Approaching the edge of the street, Lloyd leaned on the railing and stared out into the ocean, listening to the surf. He remembered this street. Just to his right near the gates of the Academy was where Lloyd and his...friends had made their escape from the basement. He wondered if the tunnel still existed or if the Papal knights had discovered the hidden passage and demolished it. He wondered too if the half-elves that worked in there were still alive. Probably not.

He remembered her name, the pale frightened face, the delicate glasses perched on her nose. Kate... No, she probably wasn't there anymore. What would have gone through her head after all these years? Would she have cursed herself for believing a group of humans? Risking her life for theirs based on a promised word. A word that was never fulfilled. Lloyd closed his eyes with a sigh. She was the first. The first of how many? How many had been forgotten, left with empty promises...

His eyes closed and he sighed, letting the wind tug his hair. And still, even knowing, he was unable to do anything about it. He was tethered to the organization that now controlled his life and he was left walking in circles around the same trodden path, wearing it down more and more with the faint hope that at one point something will change.

Of course, the reality was, he was only shortening his chain with each turn.

Though, he shouldn't complain. After all, Yuan had been quite generous in the freedom he'd given Lloyd in his missions. He didn't hang over Lloyd like a shadow. Of course, that didn't comfort Lloyd in the least. It didn't mean Yuan wasn't watching him. As long as he did as he was told, Lloyd would be fine. For now.

"A dog that just follows orders," he muttered to himself, recalling his own description. It suited him. Pathetic loyalty to his owner and perform commands granted to him.

He allowed a bitter smile to slip on his face and lowered his head, another salty breeze ruffling his hair. Or perhaps Yuan was more accurate. Maybe he was a mutt. A mixed breed as unpredictable in his actions as his birth was. After all, his loyalty wasn't exactly honest or true. Like a mutt...

He liked that.

"The ocean view is definitely more appealing than the city. That's for sure." Yuan spoke up, coming up beside him.

Lloyd lifted his gaze, staring out again. "Yes, it is." He felt Yuan's eyes on him and sighed. "Did you have something else to say?"

"Have you visited her grave?"

Lloyd stiffened and stood up. "I've been in Tethe'alla since it happened, so stop asking rhetorical questions, Yuan."

"Don't lie to me, Lloyd. You and I both know how easy it is to warp through the worlds." Yuan scoffed, turning so his back was leaning against the rail and faced Lloyd.

"Why does it even matter to you? She's dead. Or do you just wish to gloat over the fact more. After all, her death is a positive outcome for you and your band of merry men." Lloyd glared at him. Yuan was prying again and Lloyd was definitely not in the mood to play these games. Perhaps his anger would be convincing in both cases. And he was just annoyed.

"Don't assume I enjoy killing young girls." Yuan rebuked sharply and Lloyd scoffed, turning away. After a moment, Yuan continued, his voice awkwardly soft. "I ask out of concern, as hard as you find that to believe. I do count you as an ally and a friend, Lloyd."

Chuckling, Lloyd gave him an amused glance, clapping his hands mockingly. "To put it bluntly Yuan, you suck at being concerned. However, I'll applaud you for the effort. I think you should stick with your lies and deception and self-proclaimed charm."

Yuan raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "You are probably right, but I had to try. You're too much like your father. I can't fool you anymore."

Lloyd smirked. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Of course you would. But you still never answered my question. Have you gone to see her grave?" Yuan smiled, genuine interest and perhaps a little understanding flickering in his eyes. "I haven't seen you mourn either," he said more quietly.

Lloyd studied him for a moment and then looked away. "The dead are dead, Yuan. Let's just leave it at that." He started walking, speaking over his shoulder to cut off any response. "I'd rather not have to spend any more time with you than necessary. Let's start the mission and be done with it."

_And quickly,_ he thought as Yuan chuckled and followed him.

* * *

Red water twisted and wriggled as the gentle current lead it away. Blood stubbornly clung to her hands as Colette submerged them deeper into the stream, rubbing them furiously to clean them. She shook, her breaths short, quick jerks as she tried to calm herself. She could smell the acrid scent all over her as she moved, the blood staining her clothes, skin and probably even her hair.

Faintly, the deep gashes in her palm stung as the icy water crawled its way into the wound. But Colette barely noticed and kept feverishly scrubbing her hands.

She had killed them. All of them.

The bodies laid scattered in the forest, far away from the clearing and the ranch. She'd had flown them out of there, one by one, still numb from what she had done. She knew in her mind she had to get rid of them and had acted instinctively on that.

Why hadn't they just left? They could have just left and they would have still been alive, she thought desperately. She didn't like killing. She never did. It did nothing to know they were her enemies and they had tried to kill her. They were still people. People with families and friends of their own.

A few tears slipped out of her eyes and she leaned back, resting on her knees as she stared at her hands. They were clean now, save for the wounds from her charkams. She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her hands.

She had killed them over a house. A building. It seemed so stupidly foolish to her now. A house could be rebuilt, lives couldn't. Her arms dropped to cradle her stomach, a choking sob racking her body as she remembered how close the sword had come to stabbing her child. She had put both her own life and her child's in danger. How could she have been so selfish? Selfish and stupid. Never again. She'd never put her child in danger like that again. She wouldn't fight, she'd run.

Shakily, Colette pushed to her feet, glancing back at the house, where the ground was wet with blood. It seemed like a distant memory now, yet she could still hear the Desians screaming out in pain and the silence that followed after. She hiccupped, taking a shuddery breath as she calmed herself. It was done with.

One hand cradling her stomach protectively, Colette wandered back to the house, still limping from her wound. The Desians hadn't left the house untouched during their search. The table and chairs were overturned. A few dishes laid smashed and broken on the floor, cupboard doors wide open and some of the contents pulled out onto the floor.

Colette wordlessly began cleaning up the mess. Noishe appeared a few minutes later, lying down outside the door, looking in quietly. The glass was swept up, the cupboards refilled. She did it methodically, her face blank. Noishe whined a few times and she'd stop to smile at him, but other than that, she worked silently. After, she went outside and cleaned up the yard, using a pail to splash water over the bloodstained grass and dirt, watching it soak into the ground. She could do nothing about the scorched marks...

Noishe lifted his head as Colette returned with another pail of water and growled softly, his tail wagging slightly. Colette looked up just as Raine came walking up the path. Her face was haggard and exhausted as she walked, but the moment she spotted Colette, it vanished. "Colette!"

Colette set down the pail as her old teacher rushed forward and embraced her. Despite feeling mentally and physically weary and the wound above her hip throbbing, Colette still managed to grace her with a smile. "Hello, Raine."

It took but a moment and Raine's concern immediately reverted back to her familiar scolding tone. "Presea told us what you did, leaving with Lloyd. I never expected such foolish, and reckless behaviour—" she cut off, her eyes widening as she took in Colette's bloody clothes and injuries. "Colette, what happened? You're injured! Did Lloyd—?"

"No. It wasn't, Lloyd." Colette quickly corrected her, her throat tight. "I was coming back when I heard the Desians here." She looked at the house, her eyes brimming. "They were going to—they were going to burn it and I—Oh Raine, I was so careless!"

Startled, Raine quickly took her hand only to find the gashes across her palm. "You fought them alone?" Both shock and concern evident in her question.

"I killed them! They were going to burn the house and I knew I should have ran; I knew, I shouldn't have fought them, but—Oh Raine, I should have listened—"

"Colette," Raine said firmly. "It is not your fault. It was careless, but—"

"I could have killed my child!" Colette burst out, hand encircling her stomach. "If I hadn't seen the blade and turned, I—" she snapped her mouth shut, eyes wide as they met Raine's. What had she done—?

"Child? Colette, what do you—" Raine stared at her, then her gaze drifted down to the small but noticeable bump beneath Colette's hand, eyes widening. "You're pregnant."

Colette swallowed, but stood unwavering, cerulean meeting ice. "Yes." The word came out strained.

For a moment, Raine said nothing. Her eyes searched Colette's face desperately as if she expected a joke of some kind. Colette knew it was pointless to lie now. They would have figured it out sooner or later. What Colette feared now was that Raine would immediately expect Lloyd as the father.

Raine sighed heavily. "Let's go inside and then I want you to explain."

Colette knew from Raine's tone to listen without argument. Even as they sat at the table, Raine's inquiring gaze fastened on her, Colette knew she'd have to lie.

"Who's the father?"

Despite knowing it would come, it still twisted Colette's gut, to hear the simple question. The steady, unyielding gaze from her teacher was something she had rarely felt as a child and it unsettled her even now. Colette knew from the hardness in Raine's eyes, that the older woman believed the father to be Lloyd. Suspicion and disappointment was evident on her expression, though she tried to hide it. Still Colette hardened her resolve and answered, "You wouldn't know him."

Raine frowned instantly. "Wouldn't I?" She seemed to consider something. "How far along?"

Forcing herself to appear ashamed, Colette lowered her head, Raine's eyes boring into her. "Nearly two or three months I think..." she gave herself leeway, hoping Raine wouldn't connect it. "That-that day when you came..."

Closing her eyes, Raine shook her head. "I see. Colette, I don't know..." she hesitated, then looked at her seriously. "Are you keeping it?"

She nearly blurted out 'yes' but she forced herself to appear to consider Raine's question. "I think so. I don't think I could do otherwise. It was my choice and I can't just..." She paused, then nodded firmly. "Yes, I am."

Raine nodded, but Colette knew she was still attempting to figure it out. It would always be there, that suspicion that Lloyd was the father, but Colette would avoid admitting that, at least until Lloyd knew himself. Even if Raine suspected, she didn't press the father subject further and Colette was grateful. Even if Raine was certain, she'd keep it to herself until Colette was ready.

Raine began asking her more questions concerning her health and appetite. She asked to see the wound to her hip and allowed Raine to help her clean and heal it along with the gashes on her hands all the while chiding her for being so careless. Colette nodded and listened, answering her questions seriously.

Colette knew she had messed up earlier, but she wouldn't do it again. She'd put her child above all else, protect it as Lloyd protected her. Despite that however, she found the old excitement returning and unconsciously rubbed her stomach with a soft smile. She was pregnant, it was Lloyd's child and the next time she saw him, she would tell him he was to be a father.

**Please Review.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Listening to** Winds of Change by Kutless. **Epic song and fits the mood of the chapter. Less than a month of university left. Time sure flies. Next is job searching. Fun. Anyway, I know everyone has been patiently waiting for this chapter, so I do hope you all enjoy and once again, thank you everyone for reading and reviewing. Love reading your feedback and comments.**

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**Hopefully it works if you just remove the spaces. If you can't get to it and are really curious PM me and I'll send you a link.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 22:**

_The pages rustled loudly in the room, as his fingers flipped the page. Head leaned back against the armrest, his eyes scanning the pages. His fingertips, brushed against the leather spine of the book, feeling the letters of the title, "The Fall of the Balacruf Dynasty" barely indented. _

_It was interesting. A kingdom collapsing slowly, due to the consequences of a few almost insignificant actions. Alone they would never have been enough. Political and personal affairs, a royal assassination of a fourth cousin, the increase of taxes, the flooding of the riverbanks to the eastern cities and of course the ending of the war. Each little piece contributed to the fall of one of the vastest kingdoms in the history of Sylvarant and resulted in it becoming nothing more than a history lesson to those in the future. A lesson no one seemed to pay attention too. _

_Lloyd wondered, as he glanced at a fade sketch of the capital, if history always repeated itself. That each following generation would stumble along the path of its predecessors, not necessarily with the exact mistakes, but mistakes in general. The conflict between half-elves and humans was one example. Perhaps they weren't suffering at the hands of humans as they had been in the Kharlan War, but rather, the half-elves were causing the suffering now. The sides were merely reversed. And if, by any chance, the worlds were reunited, would another war start? It seemed logical to assume so. _

_Sylvarant and Tethe'alla would still be divided. Cultures and interests would clash immediately, foreign, and yet, familiar enemies resurfacing. It was through this logic that Lloyd finally understood Yggdrasill's overall goal. Eliminate race, culture and beliefs and there is nothing left to fight over. Soulless and lifeless. _

_Of course, Lloyd smirked bitterly. It wasn't really life then. And, somewhere, sometime, something would change. A mistake, an idea or a simple malfunction would rip Yggdrasill's dream asunder like so many dreams before his. It was inevitable. He couldn't control life or existence as Yggdrasill seemed to believe he could. It was impossible. Learning from the past, that's where the solution was and where no one ever looked._

_He shifted on the couch, lifting the book slightly with one hand, the other moving behind his head as he crossed his long legs on the couch. It had become a habit for him, whenever his father was occupied or Lloyd wanted to be alone. He'd read or research. A small part of him still remembered his utter distaste for the written text, but that was something he had long grown out of. When there was nothing to do but think, Lloyd found that it was easier to focus on a specific text or subject. It baffled him, like so many other times, how so much information was lost in these old books. The libraries on Derris Kharlan were immense and Lloyd didn't even consider the idea of reading them all—though, he was sure his father had at some point. Nevertheless, he was curious all the same. The stories, the facts and events that took place in the past...they were all linked somehow, to this moment. Each one led to another and now he was sitting here on this cold, comet contemplating what it all meant in the end. _

_Where would he go from here?_

_As that thought lingered in the convoluted torrent of information and theories, the door opened. His eyes glanced up from the weathered pages as Kratos walked into the sitting room. He appeared tired, mentally. Beneath his left arm, he carried a brown package tied with a string. Lloyd glanced at it for a moment the returned his eyes to the book. _

_"You're still reading that?" Kratos asked, walking over to the coffee table and setting the package down. _

_"It's interesting." _

_Kratos chuckled softly, moving to a chair that sat adjacent to the couch. "It used to take me hours to convince you to read one chapter. Now you find interesting?"_

_Lloyd shrugged, but his lips twitched at his father's exasperation. _

_"What are you reading again?"_

_"The Fall of the Balacruf Dynasty." _

_"I see. What do you think so far?" Kratos asked curiously._

_"Hard to say really. It seemed pretty inevitable when you look at it from afar. But, if you think about it. It could have been prevented."_

_"Oh? How so?" _

_"By each person making the right choices." His eyes scanning the page._

_Kratos chuckled, "You make it sound simple." Rubbing his eyes as he leaned forward slightly. _

_Lloyd glanced up at his father over the edge of the book, meeting his gaze. _

_"What did Yggdrasill want?" His eyes danced at the brown package and then back to the book. He half regretted asking the question, because honestly didn't want to know._

_Kratos didn't say anything for a time. Finally, he reached forward and pushed the package towards him. "I bought you something. Since your birthday is next week, I thought I'd give it to you a little early."_

_"Birthday..." His eyes lifted again. "It's that time of year again?"_

_Kratos looked back at him with a weak smile, and then pushed himself out of the chair walking into the kitchen. Lloyd's eyes followed him and then dropped to the package, frowning slightly. Another year had passed and Lloyd suddenly felt cold. He hated the reminder of the passing time, how quickly the days and weeks seemed to move at times. The first year had been endless. The second as well. Now after a third... _

_Lloyd looked away from the package, staring at the letters on the pages before closing the book over one finger and shifted to a sitting position. He reached over with one hand, untying the knot, aware of Kratos watching from the kitchen. _

_The string came loose easily and he unfolded the brown paper. He eyed the neat stack of clothes on the table, frowning slightly. His eyes lifted to his father, and then Lloyd shifted and lay back down on the couch again, opening the book. "Thanks."_

_Kratos continued to watch him. However, Lloyd ignored him, focusing instead on the events unfolding between the Balacruf Dynasty and the ending of the Kharlan War. _

"_I know you like red." _

"_Yeah, I do," he didn't look up._

_"Aren't you going to try them on?"_

_Lloyd shifted on the couch, no longer reading, but still refusing to look at Kratos. "When is Yggdrasill expecting me to show up in them?" He didn't bother hiding his bitterness._

_He waited. A few minutes passed before a quiet sigh and footsteps approached. "In a couple hours."_

_"I see." Lloyd frowned. His eyes took in the fall of prices in weapons, armoury and even food. The inflation was coming to an end for the kingdom and the kingdom itself crumbling under the pressure..._

_"Lloyd, I..." Kratos sighed again and Lloyd finally lowered the book, not bothering to mask his irritation. _

_"He's just doing it to prove a point."_

_"I know, Lloyd." _

_"The point been made and taken. Why can't he be satisfied?"_

_Kratos looked at him tiredly, shaking his head. "I have no answer for you."_

_"They aren't really a birthday present then."_

_His father sighed, rubbing his face. "Call them what you like, but they are yours." _

_"What if I don't want them?"_

_"That's your choice I suppose," Kratos answered._

_"He can't force me to dress."_

_"No, he can't."_

_"He can only make things difficult, right?"_

_Kratos closed his eyes._

_Lloyd studied him for a bit, then marked the page number and set the book down. Rising he grabbed the clothes and walked into his room. _

_It was really more of a spare room in his father's accommodations, but Lloyd had been occupying it for the last two years. He hadn't wanted to return to the room designated to him—the one he had been isolated in. He couldn't stand to be in there again. Not yet. It was just another insult from Yggdrasill. _

_He set the clothes down on the bed and stripped. He wasn't sure what to feel as he pulled on the familiar clothes: a black undershirt, loose and comfortable and a familiar pair of gray pants. Even the red vest made him hesitate, with the white and red trailings, the color nearly the same shade as... _

_Lloyd pulled it over his shirt, fastening the buttons up to the neck. He grimaced at the confining feeling and quickly undid them all. He'd wear it open. _

_The gauntlets and fingerless gloves covered his hands and arms. The lightweight protection plenty of room for manoeuvring and his fingers free. _

_The material was stiff and had that new feeling. It wouldn't take long to wear it in, though. His eyes lifted to the mirrored closet doors and he stepped over to them. His scanned his appearance slowly before lifting and locking eyes with himself, dark against his pale skin._

_He turned away silently and folded the set of casual clothes Kratos had bought him before and left the room. He didn't stop to look at Kratos as he returned to the couch; rather, he simply lay back down and reopened his book. _

_"You look good," Kratos ventured, eyeing him. _

_Lloyd didn't answer, but he couldn't focus on the words. _

_"You look grown-up."_

_Lloyd lowered the book to look at his father. The russet eyes gazed at him anxiously, yet with warm concern. A strong jaw-line and brow. Deep-set, narrow eyes. Shoulders that showed both broadness and strength. Large hands that would kill without hesitation and yet, comfort as well. _

_Lloyd blinked and refocused on Kratos, the image from the mirror shifting back into his father, who sat looking at him intently; though, the image didn't change all that much. Lloyd could feel the heat rise to his cheeks and he frowned slightly, looking away. _

_"I thought, you'd prefer something more comfortable as opposed to what Yggdrasill had in mind."_

_"What did he have in mind?"_

_Kratos' mouth twitched, trying to control a smile. "I'm sure you are aware of his taste in clothes."_

_Lloyd blinked, looking at his father, then laughed. "Yes, I am." He smirked weakly. "Thanks, Dad."_

_Kratos nodded and sat back in his chair, picking up a book of his own. _

* * *

The days flew by, one after the other like the turning of a page. They blended together and before he realized it, Lloyd found himself staring once again into the forest near Iselia. Damp vegetation mingled in the air. It was becoming a familiar and welcoming sight. The broad trunks of the deciduous tree, the motley jaded leaves in the canopy and the hum of life surrounded all brought a sense of stability, something he hadn't experienced in a long time. Derris Kharlan was becoming little more than a barren landscape in his life now, one that was becoming harder and harder to return to.

Even Tethe'alla held little comfort for Lloyd. It flourished and yet, the beauty seemed to fade as the people thrived. For everything Tethe'alla had to offer, Lloyd found it as empty and barren as Derris Kharlan.

Or, perhaps he was just being cynical.

A smile played on his lips as he made his way through the forest, the invisible tug guiding him towards the little clearing he'd longed for over the past month. Indeed, Sylvarant offered the only thing Lloyd desired above all else.

He stepped into the clearing; his senses reassuring no others were present. He doubted that would have stopped him either way. It had been too long and he was tired. Both mentally and physically and he wanted nothing more than to see her warm smile.

Pausing shortly to gaze at the grave of his mother, he continued to the house. He could hear Colette humming softly inside, the sound kindling warmth through him as he push the door open.

Startled, Colette whirled, brandishing a soap-lathered pot before her. Smirking, Lloyd watched her eyes widen and lower the makeshift weapon. Before she could respond, he crossed the floor in long strides and gathered her in his arms tightly.

"Lloyd?" her belated cry of astonishment in his ear. Then her arms wrapped around him just as tightly, pressing herself against him, the pot clattering to the floor. "It's been so long! I've missed you!"

Pulling back slightly, he held her shoulders, taking her in. "As have I."

She glowed. She was happy of course, but Lloyd instinctively knew that wasn't the cause. It almost radiated off her, something foreign and yet...warm. He had noticed it the moment he had stepped in the door. It was in her eyes, her face, in the way she smiled...

Then he noticed it. Her hand resting on her slightly extended stomach. He released her shoulders and backed up, staring at her.

"Lloyd? Lloyd, what's wrong?" When he didn't respond, she followed his gaze. "Oh..."

He swallowed, his mouth dry. It wasn't possible. He dismissed the idea immediately and, yet, the alternative...

Lloyd immediately tore his eyes from her stomach to her face. The glow was still there, despite the hesitation in her eyes. Words eluded him and he could only stare at her, the silence thickening.

Colette bit her lip anxiously and then spoke. "I guess you've noticed. I was going to tell you before, but..." she trailed off.

Lloyd said nothing. What could he say? His mind refused to accept what he perceived and he was left with nothing to grasp onto for an explanation. So he waited. Waited for that explanation, the reason, the facts, the alternative—"

"I'm pregnant, Lloyd."

The room twisted, and he staggered, a hand catching a chair. Colette said his name, but he didn't really hear her as he fell into the seat, blinking as the word repeated itself in his mind.

_Pregnant_. His mind blanked and he focused on a knot in the wooden floorboards as he struggled to understand what that single word meant. What did it mean? To be with child, he knew that, but...what did it mean to him—

"Lloyd? Lloyd, I wanted to tell you earlier. I did. It just never seemed...Lloyd?" Colette's voice finally sunk in and he lifted his gaze to her face. She was waiting anxiously for some type of response from him. He could tell she was afraid...

"You're...pregnant," he repeated dully, staring at her. She nodded.

He frowned. "You're..." he cut himself off, looking down, trying to organize his thoughts. "You never told me."

"I wanted to. I was going to, but it never seemed the right time. I didn't want to upset you and make you even more worried—"

He shook his head, suddenly. "No. This can't be possible. How far along—"

"Three months." Colette answered quickly, almost defensive.

Lloyd paused, quickly analyzing and counting back, when he stopped and looked up at Colette. She waited with a slight frown on her face. How was this possible? A—a child? His chest constricted and he put a hand over his face, breathing in deeply. Then he met her eyes.

He wasn't ready for this. How was he to protect both Colette and a child? What if Cruxis found out? How could—

Would he have ever been ready? His mind suddenly strayed. Perhaps once, before his life had changed, but now what did he have to offer a child save danger and fear. And Colette. He would leave her the responsibility of caring while he was forced to return to Cruxis—

The chair scraped and he stood, looking down at her. "Colette, I'm so—"

"Don't apologize for this, Lloyd!" She raised her voice and glared at him. "Don't you dare apologize!"

He closed his mouth, feeling helpless, then frowned, clenching his fists. "I left you here alone to cope with this knowledge for a month and—"

Her anger faded to guilt and she lowered her eyes. "I knew before, Lloyd."

"What? Before..."

"Before we went to Tethe'alla. I was going to tell you that night at the dance after you proposed but—but, then you were so happy, I didn't-I didn't want to upset—" She was near tears and she covered her mouth.

Lloyd crossed the distance and pulled her close, fully aware of the change. "You should have told me," he said, a catch in his voice. "You should never be afraid to talk to me."

Colette nodded, face buried into his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

He stroked her hair, struggling with his words and thoughts. He wanted to say, 'what now?' What was the next step? Where do they move from here? He needed stability and he could find none. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He had no idea how to move on from this. Colette would make a wonderful mother, but how was he suppose to be a father—

Lloyd stiffened and pulled back, bemused.

"Lloyd, what's wrong?" Colette looked up at him worriedly.

Blinking slowly, his tongue tried to form the words. "I'll be a...father."

"Yes." Colette reached up and touched his cheek. He looked at her. "You will be a great father."

He caught his breath, staring at her in numb bewilderment, the words finally sinking in. Then he scowled and shook his head. "How can I be when I am never here?" It stunned him for a moment, how quickly his mind accepted the fact. What's more, he was angered with himself. He could do better. Why couldn't he be there? Why couldn't he be a great...father?

"Lloyd, don't say that. You do everything you can—"

"I'll stay." He grabbed her hands, squeezing them. "I'll stay and help you. I won't leave your side again. We can do this together." He smiled, uncertain. _Promises...false promises,_ his mind taunted.

Tears threatened and she shook her head. "Lloyd, you can't. You can't just leave Cruxis, you said that yourself."

The words stung and Lloyd desperately wished he could take back those words. She was right and yet, it hurt more than it ever had. Why? Why was it so difficult to accept this time? Why was it so difficult to accept the logical choice?

Colette released his hands and headed for the door.

Lloyd clenched his hands, struggling between what he desired to do and what he knew he must. How could he keep returning to Cruxis, staying away for days—weeks at a time and still expect to claim he's doing his part? But he couldn't repeat history...he couldn't endanger them...

He quickly followed her outside and found her kneeling at his mother's grave. He hesitated and then stood behind her.

"You protect us, Lloyd. By going back, you keep us safe," Colette said, her hand resting on her stomach. "I know that."

"I could do that here at your side," Lloyd countered, but even as he said it, his eyes rested on the gravestone. He gritted his teeth and kneeled down beside Colette, looking at her. "I'll protect you here, where I can see you and—"

"No, you can't, Lloyd." Colette closed her eyes, tears running down. "They can't know. Cruxis can't know I'm still alive. I don't want to run, I don't want to fight and risk losing our child. And Yggdrasill will kill you too." She looked at him desperately. "I know you'll find a way to stop Cruxis. I can wait—we can wait. If you leave he'll come after us..."

Lloyd turned his eyes aside, tracing his mother's name with them. Yuan's sarcastic insult echoing in his mind, _like father like son..._

He wouldn't repeat it. He wouldn't make that same mistake. His father never had a chance to seek a different way to protect his mother. They had run because it was their only choice. Lloyd kneeled beside her, brushing her hair from her face. Was he more of a coward for wanting to run or needing to stay?

He didn't understand. Before, Colette had wanted him to stay; she hadn't wanted him to leave her. Now she was reminding him he must.

And she was right. It tormented him, but Colette was right. Cruxis couldn't be allowed to suspect anything. Lloyd would do everything in his power to keep both Colette and their child safe...

His child...

He smiled and hugged Colette tightly. "I'll do whatever it takes to keep you both safe."

"I know," she said softly.

Helping her to her feet, Lloyd looked once again at her stomach, not missing the smile on Colette's face as he did. A father. Would his child even know his father? Or would he become just a name, an absent face and figure that symbolized what he was suppose to stand for? Could he step back and watch his son or daughter grow and change from a distance? He must. He'd sacrifice such desires for their child's safety. Just as his father had done with him.

And yet...

Lloyd lifted his hand slowly, hesitation filling his eyes as it hovered inches from the bump. He'd still be there...watching...

"It's alright—" Colette started.

Lloyd froze as a twig snapping caught his attention. His hand snapped up and pulled Colette behind him, his other hand already drawing a sword, facing towards the forest. "Show yourself!" he snarled.

"Lloyd—?"

He saw the flash of white and then the figure stepped out of the trees. Colette gasped and Lloyd felt his blood turn to ice. "Run, Colette," he breathed.

"But—"

"Run!" he snapped and he kept his eyes fastened on the intruder, hearing her flee towards the trees. "What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you that question." Kratos countered softly, staring off in the direction Colette had fled.

"Leave her be!" Lloyd scowled drawing his attention.

Kratos' eyes snapped onto him, hardening with his frown. "Do you think so low of me to think I would chase after her?"

Lloyd couldn't respond. Guilt and uncertainty clashed as he stared down his father. All he could fathom at the moment was that Cruxis knew, regardless if the witness was his own father. How could he know what Kratos' intentions were? He could not afford to naively trust him and endanger Colette, even though it pained him to mistrust his father like this. His hand shook, feeling helpless. He couldn't kill his father to defend their secret. They'd have to run...

Kratos waited, studying him and their surroundings. His eyes lingered on the grave and he closed his eyes. "Lower your sword, I am not going to harm her."

"Why are you here?" Lloyd asked again, not yet sheathing his sword, but he did lower it. "Did Yggdrasill send you?"

"Yes, but not for the reason you believe." Kratos stepped forward. Lloyd instinctively stepped back, watching as his father kneeled next to the grave. "You've been foolish, Lloyd."

"Nothing that you haven't done yourself," he retorted defensively. His eyes drifted to where Colette had vanished, wondering if she lingered nearby listening or if she had in fact listened and fled. "Yet you intend on following my mistakes?" Kratos stood, turning his gaze back on him. Lloyd involuntarily stepped back again as his father's eyes flashed in anger and came towards him. "What will you do?"

"I'll do what I have to." He answered. It was ambiguous and a relatively childish response, however Lloyd wasn't about to prove to his father he had no plan, he had nothing.

"Do you understand the consequences that will arise for both of you? The danger you're putting yourself in?"

"I'm not a fool! Of course, I know the consequences. Do you honestly believe I haven't thought about how this endangers them?" Lloyd replied tersely, standing his ground as his father continued towards him.

"Them..." Kratos stopped in front of him, his face unreadable. "So it's true."

Lloyd's eyes widened, realizing his mistake.

"She's pregnant."

Lloyd's tongue felt heavy, but he struggled to keep his control, hoping desperately there would be a chance to fix this. "She's not—"

Kratos stepped forward and backhanded him, his eyes narrowed angrily. "Don't lie to me, Lloyd Aurion." His face slightly pale, his eyes shadowed. "How could you be so irresponsible?"

The hit and weak sting left Lloyd stunned, staring at his father. Kratos wasn't angry, he was frightened and it showed. That fact alone shocked Lloyd more than being scolded.

"Dad, I'm sorry..." Lloyd had never seen his father react this way before in all the years he spent with him. Concerned? Yes. Angry? Most definitely. But fear?

The silence thickened between them and the dull throb on Lloyd's cheek faded away. There was nothing to say, or could be said. Neither of them knew how to react in this situation or how to confide their turmoil of thoughts and feelings. And they both knew that no amount of scolding or questions would change what had happened. It was pointless to become riled up over it.

Yet, they were human still and both were still struggling to understand how a child would change their lives. Lloyd was still attempting to grasp the idea he was a father. He had no doubt in his mind that Kratos would be struggling with his own role as a grandfather.

Guilty, too. Lloyd couldn't meet his father's eye. He had kept it a secret, his love for Colette and direct betrayal of Cruxis and, in his mind, Lloyd knew he would have kept the child a secret from him as well.

"You cannot be with her." His voice rose stiffly as Lloyd lifted his head.

"I am not abandoning her," Lloyd countered evenly.

Kratos shook his head. "Don't make my mistake..."

"I won't. But I can't walk away either. I promised I wouldn't."

There was hesitation and then a nod, indicating Kratos understood. Lloyd knew how much it pained his father to witness this. History repeating itself. But, it wouldn't, Lloyd reminded himself. He wouldn't allow it.

"What will you do?"

Lloyd studied his father, the question lingering between them like a thin taut rope, being tugged from either end. It wasn't as if he didn't trust his father. He did; however...

Both turned, suddenly as the leaves rustled and Colette appeared astride Noishe, slowing as they entered the clearing. She slid off the protozoan, the creature whining and nudging her as she hesitantly walked towards them.

Kratos stiffened, but made no other movement and Lloyd understood why. Colette's hand rested on her mid-section, which evidently showed Kratos' future grandchild, a child that he never—like Lloyd—believed would exist.

Lloyd remained wary, but he couldn't help but smile softly as Colette approached closer and smiled hesitantly at Kratos, keeping her distance but still placing faith in him. "Hello, Kratos."

Noishe padded up and bumped into Kratos' leg, begging for attention from his old friend. Kratos absently placed a hand on Noishe's head to calm him as he formulated a response for Colette.

"Hello, Colette."

Her name sounded strange coming from his mouth. It almost held a hint of affection that Kratos had never displayed before. Lloyd wondered if perhaps it was his father's way of proving his word. Colette smiled brightly, her eyes alighting to prove her enjoyment.

"How far along?" The simple question and his father's awkwardness made Lloyd smile again.

However, Colette overlooked his awkwardness as she did, smiling warmly. "Three months now. The little one is growing quickly it seems." She rubbed the bump affectionately. Lloyd couldn't help, but hear the tenderness if her voice already. Already every bit a mother...

"They do, it seems. Grow quickly that is," Kratos said, his curiosity satisfied for the moment as he studied Colette. But duty was always Kratos' forte and he stiffened once again turning to Lloyd. "It would be best for her to remain here. I'll ensure that the ranch does not scout through this area."

Lloyd met his eye. "Forcystus will be suspicious for such an unusual request and so suddenly."

"No. The Iselia Ranch has in fact asked for my assistance. Apparently, two different groups of scouts have been killed and Forcystus is concerned. I was asked to investigate the area."

"Two scouts? I dealt with one, however—" Lloyd paused and turned to Colette who refused to meet his eye. He frowned, connecting the pieces, but he didn't chide her. After all, he had not been there...

Kratos waited a moment, noticing the exchange and then continued. "I located the second group, their bodies were scattered and the corpses ravaged. I'll caution the ranch on possible monster attacks and advise they refrain from needless scouting. There is really no reason now that the Chosen is dead."

Colette looked up at that statement, but Kratos' gaze was on Noishe, scratching the protozoan's ears. "I'll also suggest to Yggdrasill to have you deal with the problem here. It will give you both the opportunity to hone your skills and deal with a possible monster infestation."

Lloyd smirked, shaking his head. "Use every opportunity possible, you have been stealing from Yuan."

"Yuan stole from me, actually." Kratos gave him a glance. "But I suggest you make use of this chance, Lloyd. You are still expected to assist Yuan in Tethe'alla."

"I know." Lloyd frowned, then looked at Colette. "I'll return to Derris Kharlan tonight and return as soon as I am able, regardless if I am given the mission." He glanced down at her stomach, hesitant. "Will you be alright?"

Colette smiled, laughing a little. "Lloyd, I will be fine. Just be careful, okay?"

He nodded and then bent kissing her lightly, perfectly aware that his father watched on. "I will."

Noishe whined as Lloyd and Kratos turned to leave, but a strict word from Kratos made the protozoan return to next to Colette. Lloyd glanced back once.

"You should not make promises that you may not keep." Kratos admonished him.

Lloyd looked at him, frowning. "I intend to keep them."

"And how do you intend to protect her when you are in Tethe'alla? You cannot continue disappearing from Derris Kharlan unexpectedly either. Yggdrasill will become suspicious. He already is."

"I'm aware of that," Lloyd replied bitterly. "I will find a way."

Kratos grabbed his arm, stopping him. Lloyd puzzled, turned to look at him.

"I have more freedom. If you wish, I can keep a close eye on her." His offer was hesitant, but genuine and Lloyd smirked, relief flooding through him.

"Thanks, Dad. I'd be able to relax knowing you are watching over her." He paused, frowning. "The Sages' and Presea know she is here as well..."

"No one will know I am here. Even Colette. It will be easier for her if she doesn't know."

Lloyd nodded, looking down. "I apologize for not telling you. You had a right to know."

He smiled. "You did what you believed was right. I will not fault you for protecting her and the child; that is the role of a father. Come, Yuan will be looking for you."

As Kratos warped away, Lloyd shook his head sighing and smiled, looking back the way they came, warmth simmering inside him.

The role of a father.

**Please Review.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Listening to **Anthem of the Angels by Breaking Benjamin. **Gave me inspiration for part of this chapter**.** Oh and **Push Me Away by Kutless. **These types of songs always make me want to write.  
****I apologize for this being a day late. Came home for the weekend and then ended up having to work on my taxes. Then realized I was working on the wrong chapter. So yeah, sorry about that. Well I hope you enjoy. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 23: **

_Thump, thump, thump._

_The pulse. Steady. Calm. Just listen to the pulse. _

_Thump, thump, thump._

_He let it fill his ears, the constant thumping. Tried to let it fill his mind and distract him from everything else around him. The silence that surrounded him endlessly._

_Thump, thump, thump, thump—._

_"Damn it!" the curse erupted loudly, eyes snapping open in a flash of anger. He put his hands to his ears, pressing, trying to get lost in the rhythmic pounding of his heart again. Why couldn't he just ignore the silence? Why couldn't he just lose himself in the comforting sound?_

_He sighed in defeat, his mind once again. Too frazzled to even attempt focusing. Leaning his head against the metal, he glared up at the white ceiling, the light making it almost blinding. _

_White. White ceiling, white walls, white floor—everything was freaking white! He snarled and put his head against his knees, closing his eyes. Either black or white... the furniture didn't even help..._

_He lifted his head slowly, the tugged his jacket off. Red. He smiled mockingly and then laid it in the middle of the room. Near the center. At least it was some color, he thought, retreating to his previous spot._

_His head thumped against the wall while he looked at his jacket. The contrasting colors hurt his sensitive vision and he was forced to close his eyes for short amounts of time to ease the ache in his head. _

_Finally, he sighed and buried his face into his hands again, relishing the darkness for a few minutes. Or was it hours? He couldn't tell anymore. He didn't even know how long he had been here. He stood up suddenly, the swish of his clothes, the clump of his boots. It sounded so weird and comforting. _

_He paced. Back and forth. Sometimes in circles. Sometimes in weird patterns to mix it up a bit. _

_Every once in a while, when he started getting dizzy, he'd go up to the door and look it over. Nothing had changed seen the last time he looked at it. The same seams. No handle. No lock. He rubbed his hair, scowling, putting his hands to it, and pushing against it. Nothing._

_He pounded. "Hey! Hello? Let me out of here damn it!" he slammed his fist against it, a sharp stinging sensation that faded quickly jolted from his palm up his arm. He ignored it, kicking the door. "Let me out!" _

_His shouts echoed back at him as he paused to listen, then he punched the door angrily and whirled away. He grabbed the chair at the desk and threw it across the room, where it clattered and bounced. He knocked over the desk, with a loud bang and he covered his ears in pain, stumbling back and wincing. _

_"Damn it!" he cursed, gritting his teeth. That always happened._

_After a moment, he lowered his hands and sighed, staring at the scattered furniture. He wasn't sure when his vision started to blur or when the dry sobs began to rack his body, or when he buried his face into his arms, hugging his knees. Time meant nothing anymore, things just kept repeating, one following one after the other melding together. He was trapped, contained. The four white walls blocking him in and the rest of the world out. He wanted out! He needed to get out! _

* * *

His eyes snapped open and he breathed in deeply. A large, calloused hand brushed over his face and he shook his head, sitting up. Lloyd stared at the wall, faintly feeling a chill across his bare chest as he realized he had been sweating.

A nightmare...

He sighed and wiped his face again, closing his eyes. He must have actually fallen asleep this time, he thought bitterly. He only dreamed when he slept.

He slid his feet out, tossing the blanket to the side as he stared around his room. The same white walls bore down on him and he shook his head, standing. The sweat dried on his skin and he couldn't feel the chill anymore, but he took a hot shower anyway. The steam helped wash away the nightmare...slightly.

Drying himself, he heard the door to his room open and he sighed. Only Yuan never knocked. Quickly donning his boxers, he started drying his hair as he stepped from the small bathroom. "Yuan, don't you ever—" he froze as he spotted the visitor through the towel.

"I suppose I should have knocked." Yggdrasill smirked.

Lloyd lowered the towel around his neck, still wary that Yggdrasill was standing in his room. "Did I miss—?"

"No. I did not summon you. I decided to come myself for a change. It does prove more interesting," Yggdrasill raised an eyebrow, noting Lloyd's appearance.

"I'm sorry I'm not prepared, Lord Yggdrasill. I slept late." Lloyd offered, feeling strangely vulnerable in front of the man.

"I spoke to Kratos early this morning. After he made his report, he suggested a possible task for you."

Lloyd immediately feigned ignorance, waiting patiently for him to elaborate, brushing drooping, damp hair out of his eyes.

Yggdrasill waited a moment, obviously considering Lloyd's possible knowledge on the topic, before continuing. "The Iselia Ranch has been suffering from monster attacks, according to your father. Scouts are being killed and vanishing. He suggested you deal with the problem down there and keep an eye on the forest."

"Forcystus can't handle a few monsters?" Lloyd inquired tersely.

"Apparently not. Kratos advised him to refrain from pointless scouting for the time being. I suppose there is little reason to do so since the Chosen's death."

Lloyd nodded. "When do you wish for me to leave?"

"When you are ready." Yggdrasill turned then but stopped, glancing at him. "I don't expect it will take you very long. Once you have dealt with this problem, return to Tethe'alla. Yuan will have more tasks for you."

Bowing his head in acknowledgement, Lloyd waited as Yggdrasill left. It was almost too simple. He turned around and dressed quickly. His mind told him to be cautious, that it was too easy, but Lloyd had detected nothing suspicious from Yggdrasill and reassured himself of that as he packed a few of the more simple clothes he owned.

He was excited. It felt strange to him, to feel so enthusiastic, but the idea of spending uninterrupted time with Colette appealed to him. It had been a few days since he had returned to Derris Kharlan. A few days since he discovered he was to be a father...

Lloyd paused, a cautious smile spreading. A father. It still sounded so strange to him. The context, the idea that he would be a parent mystified him. It left him feeling strangely overwhelmed and pressured, yet overall, determined.

Gathering his back with a small smile, Lloyd left his room quickly, eager.

"You seem to be in an excellent mood today."

Lloyd closed his eyes in annoyance and sighed. "If I was, you just spoiled it, Yuan."

"It is a talent of mine." Yuan smirked, moving up beside him, eyeing his pack. "I hear you have another solo task. Congratulations are in order."

Lloyd scoffed and shook his head, walking towards the transporter. "Save your breath. It's nothing extraordinary."

"So I've heard." Yuan fell in step. "Infestation of monsters. A job you are unlikely to screw up."

"What do you want?" Lloyd sighed. "You never bother me unless you want something."

"That is not true." Yuan moved in front of him, stopping him. "I give in return." When Lloyd just frowned at him, impatiently, Yuan elaborated. "I was approached by couple of your friends recently."

Lloyd stiffened, looking down at Yuan surprised. "What?"

Obviously enjoying his reaction, Yuan took his time, shifting his stance. "Sheena and Zelos to be precise." He eyed their surroundings as he spoke their names. "Apparently they are interested in returning to Sylvarant. Of course, they refused to give me a reason."

The gleam in Yuan's eyes made Lloyd unspeakably irritated. "I have nothing to do with it, if that's what you are implying."

"You spoke with them didn't you?" His tone made Lloyd hesitate from just pushing past him and Yuan pressed. "Lloyd, are you rebuilding an alliance with them—"

"I had nothing to do with it," Lloyd hissed angrily. "And I want nothing to do with them." He didn't wait for a response, shouldering him aside he strode quickly to the transporter. He frowned, his anger simmering down to curiosity and apprehension. Why did Sheena and Zelos want to come to Sylvarant? It was a risky move on Sheena's part to seek Yuan's help, considering the Renegades' previous—and possibly current—demands on the young summoner. He doubted it was out of pure concern for Colette. They had another motive and Lloyd didn't like to think he was that reason.

Despite his lack of answers, he nudged the problem aside. It wasn't important, not immediately anyway. He'd have time to deal with that at a later date. Right now, he had other plans.

It seemed to be a common occurrence; Lloyd thought to himself as he warped to Sylvarant and started his way through the familiar forest. Lloyd found himself more often putting aside problems rather than dealing with them of late. He reasoned that their importance had dwindled considerably in comparison to these other objectives and...responsibilities he now had.

Family.

He liked that thought.

The clearing was, for once, filled with noise. It made Lloyd hesitate, his brow furrowing in concern at the bouts of laughter and excited tension in the air.

The others were there.

Lloyd paused, not yet within sight of the clearing. He felt a pang of disappointment and resentment at the intrusion, but quickly dismissed it guiltily. It was childish to think that way. He should be thankful Colette had others to care for her. Still, he had been hoping to spend time with her, to see her smile and talk about their child...

Frowning, Lloyd narrowed his eyes and strode forward determinedly. She would be his wife and the child his own. He wasn't going to allow anymore stand in his way of his responsibilities.

He didn't hesitate as he stepped into the clearing, the unusual noises engulfing him as he viewed the unique scene. Colette sat on the bench, Raine and Presea on either side. Their cheeks were lifted in smiles and their eyes bright, Lloyd could tell from even here what their conversation was about. Genis sat relaxed on the ground, tearing at the grass absently, books opened around him. He was the one laughing, waving his arms exasperatedly as he talked loudly.

Lloyd watched the scene nostalgically, a pang of sadness clutching his heart. Could he ever be a part of that? Or was it fated that he watch from the shadows...

Whether she felt his eyes, or it was chance, Colette's head lifted and looked at him. A smile broke across her face and she stood quickly. "Lloyd!"

The smile came unwillingly, powerless against the genuine happiness Colette expressed in saying his name. The others all looked up sharply as Colette hurried, though carefully, towards him. She was still such a child, he thought.

He allowed her to hug him and she refrained from kissing him affectionately. She knew as well as he did that their relationship was needed to be keep quiet from the others. As things stood now, it would be difficult for them to grasp, and neither Lloyd nor Colette wanted to deal with their speculations.

Colette pulled back, that motherly glow still surrounding her and Lloyd longed to reach forward and caress her cheek. His hand remained at his side.

The others were on their feet now, weapons in their hands and Lloyd eyed each respectively, taking in their stances and body language. Genis was the only one behaving aggressively so far...

"Colette, what are you doing? Get away from him!" Genis approached her, eyes on Lloyd.

He held his spear too tightly, his feet too close together as he walked and obviously unbalanced, Lloyd determined after a quick skim before turning his eyes back to Colette. She was frowning at Genis, upset by his words, but still held that understanding gaze.

"Genis, please, don't start a fight. He's not going to hurt us." Colette's light voice seemed to make Genis hesitate, making him glance between Colette and Lloyd.

Finally, Genis' eyes settled on Lloyd, his brow furrowed and obviously uncertain. "What are you doing here?"

Lloyd heard the bitterness, resentment and an assortment of other feelings. Lloyd would give him credit for attempting civility for Colette's sake, even though Lloyd really knew Genis was on the verge of shouting.

"I came to visit Colette," Lloyd answered flatly. He knew they were hoping for an elaboration, but he wouldn't give them one.

Colette smiled up at him then at Genis. "Lloyd stops in every once in a while to make sure I'm okay."

Suspicion flared from Raine's eyes. Lloyd knew the reaction would happen, waiting for her to begin analyzing and assessing whatever information he gave. She wanted his motives, his intentions and his reasons. She definitely hadn't changed much, in both personality and physicality.

Genis seemed on the verge to speak when his sister interrupted. "Undoubtedly. Colette's health is important to Cruxis, isn't it?"

"Raine!" Colette frowned. "That's not why—"

Lloyd touched her shoulder gently, cutting her off. She hesitated looking up at him anxiously.

Focusing on Raine's tightened face, Lloyd replied coolly. "At the moment, no." His response gave way to an awkward silence, in which they seemed to consider what he said. He sighed, knowing he'd have to elaborate. "I suppose Colette never informed you. Cruxis believes Sylvarant's Chosen to be deceased, fatally injured during the Iselia attack." His eyes drifted to Genis, noting his shock. "Their eyes now rest upon the future Chosen."

"Wait—you mean, they think she'd dead?" Genis gaped, his silver hair swaying as he snapped his head towards Colette. "Why would they—?"

"Genis, Lloyd lied to them to protect me." Colette cut him off quickly.

He felt their eyes bore into him until he shifted to meet each one, forcing them to look away. Raine didn't.

"What are you doing, Lloyd? Why are you situated in Cruxis when you obviously feel no loyalty to them?" Her icy gaze had softened, but Lloyd could still hear the suspicion in her voice and with it, disappointment.

Lloyd ignored it.

"Didn't you always teach me that one must perform tasks, even if one doesn't particularly enjoy them? Consider it under those circumstances." His eyes trailed lazily over Presea and Genis.

"Would you shut up? Stop talking like that!" Genis exploded suddenly, though Lloyd had noticed the slight tremble in his arms beforehand. "Why did you betray us?"

"Genis!" Colette exclaimed.

"Stop making excuses for him Colette! He's been hiding behind you this whole time! Let him answer the questions for once!" Genis glowered at him. "Or are you just going to walk away again you coward?"

The temptation was there. His irritation was rising, along with Genis' impatience and anger, but Lloyd kept it in check. He had promised Colette—and partly himself—that he would attempt to speak with his old companions. However, it was becoming difficult to keep his emotions under control...

"Lloyd, we just want to understand. I trust you can see it from our point of view." Raine offered calmly.

In a way, he could. He'd often pictured it like their confrontation with Kratos in the Tower of Salvation, except he was standing in Kratos' shoes with his past self in arguing with him. He imagined the shouting and arguments that the young, naive teen would throw out, determined to get his point across. Yes, Lloyd could see it from their position, but it didn't mean it was the only view.

He sensed Colette's uneasiness beside him, noted the way her eyes were troubled and concerned. She was partially blaming herself for this conflicted, he could tell. He sighed, refocusing attention on the Sages. "I do understand, Raine. However," he slowly clasped his hands behind his back, absently realizing he was more tense than necessary. He needed to relax...

"However," he continued, lifting to meet her gaze, "while I will tell you certain things. Most I will keep to myself."

Her eyebrows knotted, Raine argued, "I understand if things were difficult, but I think—"

"Most of what I will tell you, you will already have divulged either from Colette, theories, or perhaps a certain Renegade. In any case, I'm sure you wish to hear it spoken from me."

Genis' face darkened considerably and Lloyd faltered for a moment. He knew his behaviour was aggravating the young half-elf; however, if Lloyd lowered his guard and attempted to relax to a more...sociable level, he was concerned he wouldn't be able to hold himself together. He had already broken that wall more than once in front of Colette. It needn't happen again.

"What is wrong with you?" Genis shouted suddenly, his voice laced with concealed hurt and frustration. He stepped forward, his spear clenched firmly in his grasp as if it could support him. "Stop acting and pretending to be one of them—"

"You believe this is an act?" Lloyd interrupted.

Genis hesitated, confused for a moment by his words. "Damn it, Lloyd! I know you aren't really like this! Just talk to us!"

The others, even Raine, fell silent as Genis' emotions escalated. Colette wanted to interfere, Lloyd could tell. Considering that she didn't, most likely, meant she knew it wouldn't help.

"No, Genis. You don't know and that's why you are frustrated." Lloyd turned his attention back on him. "Seven years is a long time. People quite obviously change."

It wasn't the response Genis was looking for and he snarled ready to advance when Presea caught his arm, whispering something even Lloyd didn't catch. Raine also put a hand on Genis' shoulder, and the rash half-elf calmed slightly. However, he didn't stop glaring at Lloyd.

"Alright. If that's how you feel," Raine said, slightly terse. "Then start at the beginning." She was put off. She wasn't sharing the trust Colette felt for Lloyd, but neither was she about to chase him off.

Lloyd's throat ached slightly at the thought. He couldn't do this, he thought suddenly. Nervousness was creeping through him and he felt suddenly chilled, his blood cold. He was panicking, he realized, and he tried to slow the fear that clawed at him. He needed to leave. He couldn't stand here and face them. He couldn't pretend to be congenial and sociable and neither could he stand to see this adverse resentment built up between them. Despite everything, he cared for them and as he had always expected, they despised him.

He turned suddenly, before he truly realized what he was doing. Colette said his name and grabbed his arm, but he just pulled from her. He knew shouldn't walk away, but for once in years, he felt afraid.

"Hey-Don't walk away from us!" Genis suddenly shouted, running after him, darting into his path. He brandished his spear threateningly. "Don't you dare try to leave!"

"You honestly believe you can fight me? You never could defeat me physically, I doubt that has changed." Lloyd dismissed Genis' impulsive challenge. He was angry and Lloyd wasn't about to submit to his childish desires and hurt pride. He would not pull his blade on him. He just needed time to calm down...

Genis' face darkened, the red flush of embarrassment and anger spreading across his face. "I'm not a powerless little kid anymore!"

To Lloyd, Genis' words were contradicting his behaviour. He was acting childish, letting his emotions rule his judgment. Of course, Genis was accurate in saying he wasn't a child. Lloyd studied the young half-elf's threatening stance and Lloyd allowed the corner of his mouth to curve up slightly. "No, I suppose not, but you are a rather impulsive teenager." Lloyd meant it as a tease hoping it would ease his own nerves as well as Genis', but Genis seemed to take it as an insult to his pride.

The half-elf gritted his teeth, fists clenched and shouted. "Don't you dare mock me! You were the exact same once, before you turned into a jerk!"

Lloyd ignored his attempt to insult him in return and shifted his weight to one foot, still smirking. "You were wiser when you were a runt."

"A runt—? I'll show you what this runt can do, you bastard!" His hands spun his spear around and he drove it into the ground, mana surging out from him and down the shaft. The ground rippled as the mana shot across the ground towards Lloyd. Lloyd felt the ground start to lift beneath his feet and he leapt to the side as grass and dirt erupted where had just stood. A giant stalagmite of stone burst from the ground, the jagged points of the rock throwing bits of soil and stone around. Lloyd glanced at the massive mound beside him as it sunk back into the ground and then brushed his shoulder clean of dead grass and dust. "You've become quicker with your spells."

The disbelief flooding Genis' face was all too clear when he found Lloyd standing, unharmed. Genis was quicker than before, but not quick enough, Lloyd noted. The choice of spell was too predictable to be a surprise attack. Genis needed to use more subtly, but Lloyd wasn't about to waste his time trying to convince him of that. It wasn't as if Genis was in the mood to listen. Lloyd could make out the signs of tension. Genis' hands tightened on his spear shaft, his face twisting as he ripped it out of the ground.

Then he charged, brandishing his spear.

Lloyd watched him dejectedly, his brow furrowing slightly as the young half-elf rushed towards him. He did not want to attack him. As frustratingly annoying as he could be, Genis was still...

Besides, Colette would never forgive him if he injured Genis.

Lloyd twisted his upper body to the side, narrowly missing the thrust as the spear skimmed pasted him. His hand shot out, grasping the shaft and pulled Genis forward. The boy gasped and Lloyd quickly stepped behind him, his hand swinging out, cuffing him across the back of the head with enough force to knock Genis to the ground.

Dropping the spear next to him, Lloyd sighed and turned. "I won't fight you."

Genis' fingers dug into the ground, head hanging in what Lloyd assumed was enraged embarrassment as Genis pushed himself up. Lloyd's counter hadn't hurt him, but maybe Genis would learn to respect those with more power than his own. Lloyd went through the exact same thing; a broken pride would heal over time.

His hair lifted slightly in a soft breeze and Lloyd frowned. A sudden shift in mana made him sidestep swiftly, but not before the wind suddenly whipped around him, slashing through the air like knives. Managing to jump clear of most of the spell, he turned to glare at Genis who kneeled on the ground smirking back at him from beneath his silver bangs. A warm trickle slid down Lloyd cheek and he lifted his hand to it and pulled back to find blood on his fingers.

Lloyd stared at it, then moved his hand back over the scratch, letting a small amount of mana to leave his fingers and heal the wound. "You struck me. Are you satisfied?"

Genis' smirk twisted into a scowl and he struggled to his feet. "You son of a—!

"Don't you dare insult my mother." Lloyd glared suddenly, cutting off Genis before he could finished. Genis stared at him, dumbfounded by Lloyd's reaction. Lloyd cleared his throat, annoyed with himself over the outburst.

Scoffing Genis crossed his arms. "I didn't think you cared about her anymore, seeing as you joined the ones that killed her!"

The remark stung and Lloyd frowned, sensing the weight of his mother's grave behind him, as if she was there watching this. He narrowed his eyes dangerously and shook his head. "You don't understand..."

"Like hell I don't!" Genis snapped back. "Your mother died to keep you safe from them! And instead you join—"

"You think I don't realize that?" Lloyd cut him off sharply, clenching his hands.

"Then what does that mean? That you don't care? You bastard—"

Lloyd stepped toward him, towering over the younger boy. "Don't you dare say I don't care about her. Call me what you like, but I haven't forgotten, Genis!"

His name slipped out before Lloyd could stop it and a strange expression passed over the young half-elf's face for a moment. Genis glared then, but lowered his voice, no longer shouting. "Funny way of showing it...Lloyd."

The mockery was evident in the way he added his name and Lloyd frowned, gathering himself together again. "I have my reasons.

"You have your—?" Genis snarled angrily. "Did you just like absorb Kratos' personality or something? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I haven't—...I've grown up Genis. Something you still need to do." Lloyd kept his voice level. He wouldn't let himself be dragged into a pointless shouting match again.

"If growing up means betraying your friends and everything you know is right, then screw it! Growing up can go to hell for all I care!"

Lloyd sighed and closed his eyes. "That's your choice then. But that type of naivety is going to blind you."

"At least I am not blinded to reality," Genis retort with a growl.

Lloyd eyes snapped open and narrowed. "I know more about reality than you ever will. You think this is the largest problem you will ever face? A hurt pride and feelings? Then you are more immature than I remember.

"Then why the hell don't you tell me what's going on with you, huh?" Genis glared up into his face, not backing down from Lloyd's height. "Since when did growing up mean closing everyone off, you idiot?"

Lloyd crossed his arms. "You don't want to hear it."

Genis scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Oh, of course not. I don't want to hear it, huh?" He glowered, jabbing at finger at him. "You want to know what you are doing, Lloyd?"

Lloyd looked down at him indifferently, but that didn't deter Genis.

"You're making up bullshit lies to convince yourself that what you're doing is right, just so you don't have to go through making this hard on yourself by confronting us! You are being selfish is all!"

"Selfish...?" Lloyd stared down at him incredulously.

"Damn right you are! You are afraid! That's all there is to it!" Genis sneered, a hint of mocking in his voice.

"Heh. You know Genis, you're right." He smirked as the surprise on Genis' face and continued. "I am a coward. But let me ask you this. Would you believe the truth if I told you? Or would it just be another _selfish lie_? Another...excuse?" Lloyd's smirk faded and he waited for a response.

Genis stammered, "I—that's—..." he trailed off, unable to deny it.

Lloyd closed his eyes. "Like I said, you don't want to hear it. It's done with and over." He started to turn.

"N-No! No it's not...you can't just...that is..." His conviction wavered and Lloyd heard the hesitation.

Lloyd turned back, looking at him seriously. "I can't what? Can't attempt to forget it happened and move on? Perhaps not, but I surely don't have to sit down and tell you what happened. That's my personal decision and I am not willing to share that with you. And no amount of yelling from you will make me change my mind."

Genis just stood there, staring up at him. Lloyd felt no victory in this, but he wasn't about to back down. Genis didn't need to know. He told Colette and he regretted it. He didn't need their sympathy. He didn't want them to feel guilty for accusing him or for the reason why he remained in Cruxis in the first place...

He deserved the accusations. He did betray them. Nothing would change that.

He sighed and turned when a hand suddenly swung out and slapped him across the face. He didn't move, but the sting sensation would definitely leave a red mark. He stared down at Raine, her expression cold and harsh. She said nothing, but she had no reason to. Lloyd could see the disappointment in her face. The anger and disgust with what he had said. He could read her like a book, but he knew she couldn't read him and it frustrated her. His blank expression won out on the silent argument and she brushed past him and walked over to her brother, looking him over.

Lloyd lifted his eyes, seeing the others watching with similar feelings. Presea shook her head at him, disgusted with his decisions, but sad as well. They all were and he could understand that. Genis had been his childhood friend. His best friend. To see them fight like this would upset anyone who knew about their previous relationship. Lloyd was not proud of his words. He wasn't acting like this to spite him. Yes, he was a coward, but he was also doing it for them. Colette was the only one who knew the pain he suffered in Derris Kharlan, what he sacrificed for his friends. He was a hypocrite in every sense of the word. And he also knew that the others were hoping that if he told them, that if he explained and shared his experience, that the old Lloyd would come back. Lloyd knew that wouldn't happen. He'd rather let them have that hope and hate him, than to dash it and break their hearts even more.

He closed his eyes, scoffing softly. He was his father's son.

He felt Colette take his hand, the gentle squeeze and he tried to take his hand from hers. She wouldn't let him.

"I think we should all calm down." Presea spoke up suddenly, drawing everyone's attention. She stepped forward, taking Genis' spear in her hand, ignoring his startled exclamation. "We don't need weapons here." She looked at Lloyd when she said it and he understood.

None of them wanted violence. They didn't trust him, but they were willing to listen to him. Lloyd felt the nagging fear returning, but Colette's firm grip on his hand held him in place.

Raine put a hand on Genis shoulder, but he brushed her away angrily stalking towards the house. He hesitated near Presea, but she showed no inclination to hand over his weapon and he cursed under his breath, throwing his hands up in frustration.

"I think we should go inside and sit down. You have a lot to tell us." Raine eyed Lloyd, gathering her staff and following her brother.

Lloyd frowned at her words, but Colette rubbed his hand reassuringly and he allowed himself to be led to the house. It was something that needed to be done.

* * *

The old dwarven home was crowded. It held an odd sense of familiarity and discomfort as the group seated themselves around the worn old table. Lloyd attempted to stand, uneasy with the close proximity of the others, to see their expressions up close and in detail: the hurt, the pain...the distrust.

Colette pulled him firmly into a chair, gripping his hand. Lloyd knew she wouldn't let him leave.

Genis kept his distance, sliding his chair away from the table, slouching with his arms folded. His child-like eyes glared threateningly as he sulked. Lloyd thought he detected jealousy as well, with the way Genis' eyes dropped down to their clasped hands, his brow furrowing in frustration. Lloyd slipped his hand from Colette's quickly.

Presea seated herself next to Genis, placing a gentle hand on his arm. She said nothing to him, but just her presence seemed to calm him a little, his eyes shifting from Lloyd to Presea, filled with shame and humiliation.

Raine took her seat directly across from Lloyd, elbows propped on the table as she studied him. She seemed exhausted and stressed. She was still young for her race, but to Lloyd, Raine appeared to have aged. Not physically, of course, but in the way she looked at him. She was struggling to cope with the facts presented to her, with the idea that Lloyd was no longer her student and friend, but a grown man and quite possibly her enemy.

Lloyd plainly recognized the distrust guarding her inner emotions and he also saw past that guard. She was hurting, just as the others. Having practically raised him, Lloyd knew she had filled the tentative role as a mother-figure in his life. The nagging role model that had fussed over his well-being throughout his childhood now had her hands tied. She sighed, then steeled herself and met his gaze levelly.

"Alright, Lloyd. Start at the beginning."

The beginning...

Lloyd stayed silent for a moment, considered the meaning of her words, then shoved it aside, shifting in his seat. "After the incident on the Fooji Mountains, I was taken to Derris Kharlan. The order was given by Yggdrasill, through Pronyma. Kratos and Yuan simply followed orders, I doubt they had any real knowledge for the reason."

Mixed reactions were presented. He was defending the two men that had captured him and stole him away; however, Lloyd wanted it evident that he held no blame for the two men. He sorted through the details, then closed his eyes.

"Shortly after that, I went through the angel transformation."

"He was forced," Colette added firmly.

Lloyd glanced at her and she met his eye. He didn't approve, but knew that Colette wasn't about to let him slide over little facts like that. Her words received the expected reactions and Lloyd felt their eyes turn on him, hesitant pity showing.

"Yes," Lloyd confirmed, his voice flat. He paused, Colette's interruption having disrupted his previous train of thought. He cleared his throat. "Little happened after that...I was expected to learn and perform certain tasks and—"

"Either you tell them or I will." Colette cut him off, her hand grabbing his upper arm. Her mouth was firmly set and the seriousness flooding her face. It stunned Lloyd, the almost...motherly tone and expression she gave. Still he hesitated and without a blink Colette turned to the others, ignoring their curious looks. "Lloyd was confined to a room for a year after he transformed."

She left it at that. The statement hanging ominously over the table. No further details. No sign of anger or sympathy. Just an important fact she felt Lloyd had left out.

Lloyd's mouth tightened and he pulled free of Colette's grip. "That was not necessary," he said tersely, frowning at her.

Colette only looked at him, for once not backing down. "Yes it was."

Lloyd growled under his breath, feeling humiliated by Colette's bluntness, when Presea spoke up.

"Isolation for that long can drive a person to insanity." She said the words carefully, but Lloyd understood her inference. She believed that was the cause. Lloyd met her eyes and he saw understanding. Confinement, isolation, trapped...

Raine's hesitation changed immediately to concern. "Lloyd, is that—?"

"It has nothing to do with it," Lloyd interrupted her sharply, tensing up. "I'm obviously not insane."

"That's arguable," Genis sneered.

Lloyd glared at him, his annoyance rising, however, behind Genis' comment, Lloyd noticed the horror behind the anger. Lloyd turned his gaze away quickly.

"I was taught and trained to be a Cruxian Angel," he said firmly, ignoring the chagrin on Raine's face that he wasn't expanding. "I was not permitted to leave Derris Kharlan, however I was updated by my f—by Kratos about the current—"

Genis' chair scraped and he slammed his hands on the desk, staring at Lloyd. "What did you say?"

Lloyd cursed himself inwardly for his slip, but outwardly held Genis' stunned gaze. "I said Kratos updated—"

"Not that you idiot! Why did you catch yourself? What were you going to say?" Genis demanded daringly.

"It was slip of the tongue," Lloyd replied curtly.

"Yeah right. Not once have you 'slipped' in your speech." Genis pointed out. "Stop lying to us!"

"I told you earlier that there were things I'd prefer to keep private." Lloyd felt his irritation rising. "I don't have to bother with the rest of it either."

Presea frowned slightly, but grabbed Genis' arm. "Sit down, Genis. You are not helping."

Genis shrugged off her hand, but sat anyway, glaring at him. "What were you going to call him, Lloyd?"

Lloyd narrowed his eyes, then pointedly ignored him, turning his attention towards the window. It was none of their business. His relationship with Kratos was something they wouldn't understand and no doubt judge him by. His father is a Cruxis Angel, so why not his son? That logic had crossed his mind many times, usually prompted by Yuan. Was that the reason he'd stayed? The real reason?

Of course it wasn't. The fact Kratos was his father just made the entire ordeal more tolerable.

"He's your father isn't he?" Raine's voice broke the silence and Lloyd felt the tension slip from his shoulders. The truth stolen from him without having to admit it himself.

There was no exclamation of shock. His eyes resting on Genis, but only found reluctant curiosity aimed towards his sister, personally analyzing how she concluded that.

"Now that I look at you, you share many similarities." Raine noted quietly, her eyebrows knotted as she studied him. "Both in your attitude and physical features..."

"I've heard that before," Lloyd admitted.

Presea nodded. "Your expression does resemble his from what I remember."

"Well..." Genis folded his arms guardedly. "I guess that explains a lot."

Lloyd wondered what Genis meant by that before shoving the thought away. It didn't matter. They'd compare him as they saw fit.

"When did you find out?" Genis ventured, bitterly. He was curious, but he was determined to try to hide it. Not very well obviously...

"Immediately before the transformation."

They fell silent and Lloyd looked away. Colette had remained quiet for awhile, but now her hand found his and she squeezed it gently beneath the table. Lloyd didn't look at her.

"What were you expected to learn in Cruxis, Lloyd?" Presea took the position of continuing the conversation. Lloyd supposed she was the neutral ground in this. She took this as it came, unlike the Sages. She wasn't expecting anything spectacular from him. Just an explanation.

"Training, mostly and other basic knowledge my father thought appropriate for me to learn."

"What? How to be an asshole?" Genis scoffed.

"No. An education."

The blunt reply was met with an awkward surprised silence. It was definitely not what they were expecting. Of course, Lloyd's education had ranged from the basics of schooling, to a detailed history of Cruxis and the worlds. They didn't need to know those details yet.

The conversation continued for a short time in much the same matter. The occasional bitter and callous questions from Genis, the more direct questions from Raine and Presea. Was he coerced? What was he taught? What was Yggdrasill's purpose for keeping him alive?

Lloyd didn't satisfy the majority of the questions, much to Raine's disapproval. The ones he did, he answered as simple as possible. Colette filled in some of the more tentative areas when they reached the part of his return and his orders to retrieve Colette.

"Since most attempts to find Colette were unsuccessful I was sent to—"

"How could you even consider accepting it?" Genis exploded on him, standing up and knocking his chair over.

The accusation came before Lloyd could even complete his sentence. Raine's eyes narrowed on Lloyd, obviously not pleased either by this confession.

"Please, Genis, just give him a chance to explain."

"I don't care what the hell he's gone through! You don't turn around and betray your friends like that! I thought you said you stayed away to protect us!"

Lloyd looked away from Genis' enraged glare and pushed his chair back.

"Lloyd—" Colette touched his arm, but he straightened.

His tall form dwarfed the room as he looked down at Genis . Lloyd gave him a withering glance. "And you know the rest," he said dully, stepping back from the table and left the house.

**Please Review.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Listening to **Learn my Lesson by Daughtry. **It's a good song. And today I am officially done my second year of University. Going out to celebrate and party and just have fun, it could be a wild night as long as it doesn't start blizzarding...stupid snow. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 24: **

"You know better, Lloyd." Raine crossed her arms as she looked down at her former student. Lloyd sat against the old lean-to, Noishe's large head in his lap, caressing the protozoan's muzzle. Noishe looked at her with his dark eyes, but Raine ignored him, focusing on Lloyd. "You call Genis immature when you are behaving exactly like him."

"Did you need something, Raine? Or are you just here to patronize me?" His eyes drifted up to look at her. His gaze terrified her. It was the look Kratos had often given her during their journey. The one she could never read, and Raine chastened herself now for never realizing their connection before. Everything about him seemed to mirror that man and it made her wonder if Lloyd intentionally mimicked his father or if he unconsciously inherited it.

Lloyd seemed to take her silence as answer and turned away. How he took it, she didn't know. His expression betrayed nothing.

"Why did Kratos not help you? If he is your father and you share such a relationship in which you trust him, surely he'd be willing to help you." She needed to dig. Force him to share his real reasons behind the pathetic details he had shared earlier.

"I told you that I was done explaining, Raine." His eyes didn't rise to acknowledge her. It was a dismissal and, in truth, it rattled her in an irritating way.

"And what are you trying to protect by not answering my questions?" She provoked.

"Perhaps a little privacy."

Raine hesitated, then frowned. "You've shared this knowledge with Colette. Why not us?"

He didn't answer right away. Noishe whined, noting his owner's distress and Raine knew she'd hit a tentative emotion and decided to press. "If you keep us at arm's length, our ignorance may do us more harm than good."

The chuckle came out in a sharp, harsh way and it was gone before Raine had time to register it. The small glimpse of emotion startled her in both its abrupt appearance and disappearance. Lloyd angled his face towards her, letting her catch a glimpse of the smirk stretching his mouth and the way his russet eyes glimmered in cynical humour. Nothing about it reminded her of Lloyd.

"You haven't changed, Raine...Professor..." he trailed for a moment, as if testing the weight of the title, his head twitch as if to send it away. "Do you miss it? Having me look up to you for the answers rather than this reversed situation? I find it odd myself, to tell the truth."

"You are no longer my student, Lloyd," she repeated Yuan's words, but immediately regretted it, regardless if it were true. She wondered if her response had been different if Lloyd would consider opening up more towards her. But it was too late now.

Lloyd's expression altered quickly, changing to thoughtful and quickly becoming impassive. "I suppose you are right. Still I suppose that doesn't change how you view me, considering your earlier comment of my 'childish behaviour'."

He mocked her. It was clear in the way he met her eyes and kept his emotions masked. She frowned at him and he looked back down at Noishe as if the protozoan interested him more than their conversation. Raine knew it didn't.

"I don't pretend to understand why you behave as you do." She moved and seated herself on the other side of Noishe, keeping the large protozoan between them. She could see more of Lloyd's face from this angle.

Lloyd seemed to consider her statement for much longer than she thought necessary, however his reply caught her off guard with its openness.

"You are angry with me."

"Of course," she said carefully. "Did you expect any of us to be otherwise?" she guarded her tone. She wasn't sure if Lloyd was reaching out for a sense of comfort. She tried to study him, but he remained aloof. It was extremely frustrating. The boy used to be so easy to read...

"I had no expectations—no, that's not accurate." He frowned a little, as if puzzled by his own words. Raine waited, knowing he'd work it out.

"I had expectations and, for the most part, they are as I expected. As you don't pretend to understand me, I can't pretend to know how you would react to me, but that doesn't mean I haven't considered the possible scenarios following my confession."

'Confession.' The terminology worried Raine. She knew Lloyd accepted the majority of the blame for the situation presented to them, but it seemed to her as if he believed he'd sinned against them in some way. She nudged the feeling aside and focused on Lloyd's willingness to talk.

"If you understand that, then perhaps you can see why we expect an answer ourselves." She sighed, rubbing her eye wearily. "Unlike you, we just recently discovered that you are not only alive, but now working for the organization against us. Willing, or not," she added quickly. She didn't believe him willing, not in the broadest sense at least. A small part of Raine knew that Lloyd was tethered in one way or another. Still it didn't excuse him now. "Why didn't you attempt to let us know you were alive? We would have aided you."

"And that is exactly why I didn't." The reply was coarse and quick. No hesitation, or momentary thought to consider.

Raine stared at him, bemused. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Yes you do, Raine." He spoke with a bored, tired voice, as if he was lecturing a child. Raine couldn't help but bristle at his tone. If he noticed her reaction, he ignored it. "You say it, maybe to ease your conscience, or even to satisfy your own curiosity, but you know why I didn't send you word. It's the same reason you never pestered Yuan about me. At least, not until recently."

The rebuke added to the shameful self-admittance to his accusation made Raine release a frustrated sigh. "Fine. Yes, I am aware of how...foolish storming up to Cruxis and demanding your release would be. But the question was rhetorical—"

"The question was nothing but a question. You either asked it to be answered or you asked in a useless attempt to make me share my own insight." Lloyd's eyes narrowed in annoyance and he swiftly moved Noishe's head from his lap. "Leave the petty bombardments to your brother, Raine."

He stood fluidly and Noishe whined in protest, rising to his own feet as well. Lloyd took a few steps, but then seemed to hesitate. Raine quickly stood and approached him. "Trying to walk away again?" She folded her arms as he scowled back at her. His expressions changed so suddenly that it unnerved her. What was he feeling that in but a second's notice he could turn his indifference to anger?

"Don't judge me, Raine."

Was that desperation? Or just a simple threat? Raine studied his face and then shook her head. "You leave little choice in that, Lloyd. When you walk away from someone trying to help, what are we suppose to think? What do you want me to think?"

Lloyd turned his eyes aside, obviously to hide something, but at least he didn't move away from her. She sighed, exasperated.

"What do you expect from me, Raine?" the question came abruptly.

Raine hesitated, unsure what had spurred it. "I expect what I would expect from any of my students who faced a challenging problem. If you can't work it out alone, ask for help."

He glanced at her, bitterness in his smile and eyes. "I'm not your student anymore."

She didn't falter, knowing how much Lloyd was begging for an answer. "Then as a friend." The word hung heavily between them and she knew Lloyd sensed the weight of it. It was a relationship with little to no strength behind it. Raine, as desperately as she wanted to, couldn't trust Lloyd. Not fully. He gave her know reason for it.

However, something flickered in his eyes, and Raine knew it was something he desired. But he turned his face away before she could comment. "You should be concerned about Colette. She's the one who needs friends right now."

With resignation, Raine allowed him to refuse the offer and change the topic to Colette's pregnancy. He was reaching, but she'd bide her time. "You aren't surprised then?" Lloyd made a small noise, his hand dropping to rub Noishe's head. "Are you upset?" she pressed.

"I'm happy for her," he countered. "It's what she's always wanted."

Raine bit her tongue at a rebuke. It was difficult to know his real feelings towards Colette's pregnancy, but she believed he was honest. Still, she wanted some type of reaction from him. "She refuses to tell who the father is."

Lloyd glanced at her, but that was it. "She deserves her privacy."

"Aren't you curious?" Raine asked, but he just grunted and looked away. "You know who it is, don't you?"

"If I did, I would not tell you."

Raine's expression hardened. This was something she recognized. Bitterness, perhaps? True resentment? There was that possibility that he was jealous, but Colette's happiness was what he found important. Protecting Colette first and foremost with an unyielding stubbornness. That was something she could relate him back to. Something all too familiar.

"Then you do know." She stepped ahead, so she could see his face more clearly. He locked with her eyes, but he revealed nothing. Empty and indifferent.

Raine wasn't buying it.

"You said you wanted to protect her. Leaving her with a fatherless child is your way of doing this?" she boldly demanded.

There was a flicker. Guilt and shame and then—nothing. Lloyd freed himself from her penetrating gaze and looked towards the house. He was listening to a conversation she couldn't hear. Then he said, "She is strong. She has support from you all—and myself. I believe she will be a wonderful mother and the child will grow healthy. With or without a father."

Something in the way he spoke, perplexed Raine, but she ignored it and grappled for loose threads. "Support? Yes. Constant protection. No." Lloyd's upset expression urged Raine further. "Her strength was not sufficient to prevent her banishment. Adapt, perhaps, but leaving her isolated from any sort of—"

"Banishment?" Anger flared and Raine's eyes opened slightly. Lloyd's confusion and temper startled her. "What banishment? From Iselia?"

Raine controlled her shock, but ventured her disbelief. "You didn't know..."

"Why on earth would they banish her?"

"For the same reason they banished you." Raine let her voice rise to meet his, not softening the comparison. Recognition flickered and he backed down, his anger simmering controllably. "Colette's presence brought danger upon the village. The same way you brought the Desians." Raine stepped closer to him, searching his eyes. She was forced to look up, feeling the strength of his height bearing over her. It made it difficult to confront him, but she ignored it. "I thought you were there when it happened."

Lloyd held her gaze stoically and then looked away. "I left before that happened."

"I see," Raine replied. "You didn't even consider what your friends would have been thinking? Of Genis or Presea? I know Colette knew you were alive, but the least you could have done—"

"What Raine?" he snapped harshly, his voice low and dangerous. "Stop and chat about the weather while Cruxis sends more angels to kill them?"

Raine didn't budge. "You could have acknowledged him." Her own tone turned icy.

"So that's what it is really about. Genis." Lloyd pulled back with a conflicted expression.

"Why don't you talk to him, Lloyd?" He made to reply, but she cut him off. "Without the insults and the degrading ridicules you gave earlier. He's angry because you won't explain yourself—"

"He's angry because I betrayed him." Lloyd frowned at her. "Nothing I say will change what I did and became. Excuses, reasons..." He scoffed and stared out toward the forest. "He doesn't want to hear it."

"Or do you just not want to tell it?" Raine grabbed his shoulder and turned him, making him face her. "All of us want to listen, but you have decided to shut us out."

Lloyd stared at her dully, his face once again showing indifference. Raine felt her blood boil at his callous behaviour. Never had she seen Lloyd so unresponsive, even during her lectures at school. At least, he had openly admitted he wasn't listening. Now he just stared passed her. Raine knew full well he heard everything she said, but he was pretending it made no difference to him. A small part of her grasped at something her brother had said back in Triet.

'_He's not really Lloyd anymore, Raine.'_

She didn't want to believe that, but Lloyd was making it difficult...

"Some things are better left alone." His monotone made her frown and he looked away again. "I'm here to keep Colette safe."

"Would you have ever returned if she hadn't fought you that night? Begged you to let her go?" Raine was prepared for the rage flashing in Lloyd's eyes.

"You know nothing—"

"Where were you when the Desians attacked here?" Raine cut him off. "How were you protecting her then?"

Lloyd's eyes widened and Raine realized again how many secrets Colette kept from Lloyd herself. She sighed sadly, knowing now how far both of them went to try and protect the other. It was ridiculous—

"Then obviously I'm failing at this too." He forced the words, bitter and hard.

"She made the choice to fight them. Apparently they wanted to burn the house." Raine quickly corrected him. However, the look he gave her told her it didn't matter why it happened, just that it did. Raine sighed. "Obviously she is fine."

"Obviously," he muttered, turning from her.

Raine sighed again. "Lloyd." He moved away from her, towards the forest and she scowled. "Lloyd, don't you walk away—"

"I'll do what I like." And he was gone.

Raine closed her eyes wearily, frustration nearly making her go after him and marching him back like she used to—

'_He's not the same Lloyd anymore, Raine.'_

"No, he isn't." She muttered and looked regrettably at where he vanished. She shook her head sadly. "And I doubt he ever will be."

* * *

"Do you understand now?" Colette asked quietly.

Presea looked at her, holding Genis' hand as he trembled. "Perhaps a little, Colette. Lloyd suffered, but we all have. Yet, we do not act against each other."

"He never explained why, Colette! Of everything he told us, he left that out! The one thing that would have helped us believe him and trust him again, he left out! Protect us? Protect us from what? No! Don't defend him! You have been doing that from the start! That hypocritical bastard knows we wouldn't turn our backs on him if he needed help! Now he's turning his back on us! Screw him!"

The chair skittered back and Genis rose to his feet only to have Presea grip his arm firmly and pull him back down. "That's enough, Genis. Do not yell at Colette."

"She was lying too—!"

"And she'd been hurt too." Presea cut him off sharply, in a harsh tone. Genis seemed to falter, hesitating and looked over at her.

Colette attempted to smile. "It's okay, Genis."

His fist clenched and he turned his face aside, eyes closed in frustration. "No, it's not. It's not okay."

"Genis, give it time. I didn't force Lloyd to talk to you. He came here on his own. Just give him time..." Colette ventured softly.

"I gave him seven years, Colette. We gave him seven years to come back—" he choked on his sentence, his breathing ragged. He turned his face deliberately to the side to hide the tears Colette knew he shed.

"And he knows that. He's waited too, Genis."

"I've missed him," Genis muttered quietly, brushing the back of his hand over his eyes.

"I know."

Presea rubbed his arm gently and he looked up at her, clearing his throat before facing Colette. "I'll make him come back. I'm not letting him disappear again. And I'm not going to just let him push me away anymore."

Colette smiled gently. "I know."

* * *

"I must say I'm a little disappointed that Lord Yggdrasill isn't taken this a little more seriously." Forcystus spoke as Lloyd walked beside him. "My men wouldn't succumb to mere monster attacks."

"Obviously Lord Yggdrasill believes so." Lloyd responded flatly.

"Obviously." Forcystus agreed with bitterness. "To be honest, I was also expecting a little more."

Lloyd glanced at him, not missing the obvious disgust in his statement. "Is that so?"

The Grand Cardinal chuckled nervously, but didn't expand on his statement. Lloyd really didn't care one way or another. However, he remembered the conversation he had with his father about the Desian.

_"Intimidate him. Forcystus is a man that will respect that. He's a veteran, considered a hero among the Desians. Do not allow him to walk over you. If you do, none of his men will respect you either. Remember you are an Cruxian Angel. You are the authority."_

Lloyd considered Kratos' advice as he followed the half-elf leader through the ranch towards his office. Even though Lloyd was an angel of Cruxis, he had nowhere the standing his father or Yuan did. However, Kratos was right. He was the authority. And if he wanted the Cardinal to listen to him, he needed his respect.

"How many scouts were killed?" Lloyd spoke up after a moment, eyes skimming his surroundings constantly, keeping his disgust hidden. He had seen the inside of ranches before. The concept was nothing new. He remembered the cold, chill that ran down his spine when he and his friends had infiltrated the bases. He remembered the inhumanity that surrounded the structures, how even stepping within the metal walls sapped away your resolve. And now, here he was, walking among them. One of them. He wondered how long this would take. He wondered how disgusted his friends would be if they knew he was here...

His footsteps were lead, but his stride undeterred. His jaw tense, but his expression calm. He was one of them in appearance. In pretence. And it killed him, but he would not show it. The mask was everything. The mask kept him together. Hide behind the mask.

"You would have known if you had read the report," Forcystus answered curtly.

"I have. There were two separate scouts. The first was a group patrolling the north-east section of the forest towards the Martel's Temple. The second scouted to the north-west and consisted of only roughly half a dozen men. Both groups were killed and ravaged seemingly by monsters." Lloyd stopped and looked at the Cardinal. "Now the next time I ask you a question, Forcystus, I expect an answer, regardless if I have read the report or not."

The half-elf good eye narrowed dangerously, but his thin mouth twitched slightly. "Very well, Young Lord Aurion. Did you have any more questions?"

"Have you dispatched any more scouts?" They started to walk again, entering the labour grounds.

"We did, but only to retrieve the bodies. They were scattered throughout the forest."

"Not uncommon for certain species to drag carcasses away to eat them. I'd like to look at the routes you have your men take," Lloyd said.

"Certainly, I'll take you to—"

"Lord Forcystus, sorry for the interruption. Do you have a moment?" A young half-elf soldier hurried up. He eyed Lloyd uncertainly and with slight trepidation. It was obvious word had gotten around about his arrival, not to mention his status. Lloyd wasn't sure, if he approved of that, but it was too late to worry about it now.

Forcystus excused himself with a curt word, barely giving Lloyd a glance as he walked a ways off with the soldier. It was for show, Lloyd knew. Regardless of his angelic characteristics, Lloyd was still a human. The half-elf veteran wouldn't show courtesy to an inferior being.

Lloyd eyed his departure for a moment, then cast his eye around the grounds. Patches of healthy grass grew sporadically across the ground and along the fence line. Dirt trodden paths revealed the routine that the ranch lived by. It was oddly silent and loud at the same time. He could hear the forest life in the distance; however, it never breached the walls. The ranch itself seemed enclosed and cut off from that world.

As he gazed towards the treetops, a quiet murmur seemed to trickle over the silence. Hushed voices, but rising.

'It's him.'

'You're a fool...can't be...'

'Looks like...'

'...A human...'

Lloyd's eyes turned towards the murmur, unintentionally. Eyes, empty and dull. Weathered faces. Scarred skin. Dirt-stained skin. Thin, skeletal bodies...

The prisoners immediately stiffened. Some looked down immediately, others turned their gaze away nervously. A few didn't. They stared at him, their eyes not quite so lifeless. Their bodies not quite so ravaged and thin. They were young. They still hopeful.

Accusation and loathing glared at him from their eyes. But something else. Hope, confusion. He was one of them. A human, someone who could understand. Someone who could free them from this prison.

Their whispers were harsh and loud. "It's him. I know it is. He's just older."

Lloyd studied the young prisoners. Possibly classmates, obviously younger... Perhaps the girl that would giggle with her friends during Raine's lectures or the one who mocked him. Perhaps he was boy that had bullied Genis before Lloyd stepped in to defend him or maybe the one that had been his partner for P.E. Perhaps... maybe...

"It's him! I know it is."

"Looks familiar. A human too..."

"Traitor, whoever he is..."

"Help...Maybe..."

Lloyd turned his face away, eyeing Forcystus a few meters away. He didn't want to listen, but he couldn't not. He couldn't block out their voices even if he wanted to. And he didn't want to.

His hand clenched around the hilt of his sword as he heard the murmurs rising in volume. Revelations being made, accusations being thrown and the faint tremor of hope behind it all.

He wanted to. He wanted to sever their chains and open the doors to the ranch, to kill every Desian within the facility. He wanted this structure to crumble beneath his hands and erase the it like he and his friends had done before.

But he couldn't help them. Not right now.

"Lloyd... his name is Lloyd. He was that kid raised by that dwarf. The one that made the Desians burn the village! The one that disappeared. What the hell is he doing with these guys!" The young man's voice rose above the other din around them. It drew the attention of the guards that talked to the side.

"Hey, you dogs. What are you talking about?"

Lloyd glanced over, his hand tense ever so slightly as the one Desian walked towards the huddled group of humans. Instantly, they silenced, their eyes snapping towards the soldier.

The other Desians snickered slightly, a few of them glancing in Lloyd's direction. They were waiting for his reaction. So they knew too. They knew his connection to the prisoners.

"So you know our guest then, human? Was he a friend of yours?" The Desian kicked the young man's leg.

The man flinched, but didn't answer his body rigid and face pale. He was terrified, but it didn't stop him from looking towards Lloyd. His pleading eyes large in his slightly gaunt face.

Lloyd just stared back.

"What you think he'll help you? Don't count on it, human." The Desian sneered giving the man another kick. The other prisoners were inching away from the man. They knew what to expect. Numb, cold acceptance. "Nah, he's a pet of Cruxis too. He's our dog. So he ain't going to help you, you pathetic human."

Lloyd wondered absently if the Desian was aware Lloyd could hear him from where he stood. The other Desians chuckled, amused as the human stammered out an apology, pleading as the soldier continued to kick him. Occasionally one would nudge the other, glancing at Lloyd, jeering and daring smirks.

He wasn't sure when he had decided to accept the challenge, but he was already moving across the grounds towards the Desian and prisoner. The young man was cowering, but the Desian glanced up. A flicker of uncertainty then smug confidence crossed his face and he gave the man another firm kick, causing him to gasp and cough loudly.

Lloyd paused before the young man, his eyes looking at the form as he struggled to push off the ground. Lloyd could see himself at the feet of Yggdrasill, the same pain and tremors running through his shaking arms. A pair of accusing eyes looked up at him and Lloyd stared down impassively.

The young man panted, waiting for something and when Lloyd didn't offer, his face twisted. "Traitor."

The Desian laugh and gave the man a swift, hard kick to his ribs. The man cried out and choked. The other Desians laughed as their companion leaned over the prisoner. "You pathetic creature. Didn't you hear me the first time? You shouldn't speak to your superiors—guh—"

Lloyd's grip on his sword hilt tightened and he pushed it further into the man's gut. The glinting silver distorted with the smears of blood rose from the Desian's back. He choked, blood trickling from his mouth, his breathing jerking as his punctured lung attempted to draw in air. His head lifted slightly, eyes wide with shock and Lloyd gazed down at him calmly.

"I am no one's dog, soldier. I'm a Cruxian Angel. Perhaps you would have done better to mind your own tongue before lecturing a human."

The Desian choked, bloody foam on his lips as he attempted to talk, but Lloyd just tugged on his blade and drew it from the half-elf's body. The squelch filled the silence of the ranch, prisoners and Desians alike watching as the soldier dropped to the ground at Lloyd's feet.

The young man stared at the corpse, uncomprehending as to what happened when Lloyd's hand shot down and pushed him to the ground, kneeling beside him

His other arm draped over his knee, the sword dripping with the half-elf's blood. The man whimpered in pain and Lloyd pressed down on his chest. He could feel the broken ribs and his eyes narrowed on the man. "I don't remember you, human. It doesn't matter either way. You are here and that's where you will stay. Better get used to it."

Lloyd pressed down again and the man shouted out in pain. That's when Lloyd allowed the mana to slip from his fingers, seeping into the swollen chest and the man gasped, choking as his eyes widen and Lloyd rose from beside him. He stared up at Lloyd in confusion, the tear-streaks on his cheeks remnants of the pain that was slowly ebbing away. Lloyd caught the man touching his chest and he turned, satisfied as he walked back to Forcsystus, wiping his blade clean.

The Cardinal's eye narrowed as he approached glancing over at his dead soldier then at Lloyd. "Little bold don't you think, Young Lord Aurion? Killing my man and sparing a human. I wonder what Lord Yggdrasill would think of that."

"He'd think you are wasting his time. And you are wasting mine. I'm starting to think it's not at all that unlikely your men were killed by monsters. Their incompetence seems to match that of their leader." Lloyd narrowed his eyes at Forcystus, looking down at the man. "Now, if you are quite done with your petty attempts to show off in front of your men, I'd like to see your scouting routes."

Forcystus glared vehemently at him, then smirked and laughed. "I see. I suppose I was wrong about you, Lord Aurion. My apologies. From both myself and my men. I should have had more faith that Lord Yggdrasill would send an appropriate aide."

"Yes you should. Now may we continue?"

"Of course, my Lord. This way." Forcystus resumed leading him and Lloyd fell into step with him, not even passing a glance at the humans as they past.

"You are very quick with your blade. But I'm curious. Why didn't you kill the human, if you don't mind my asking?" Forcystus asked, still baiting him.

Lloyd felt their eyes on him as he strode past the prisoners. "To kill him would be too quick of punishment."

Forcystus chuckled and nodded. "I suppose you are right."

Lloyd laid his one hand on his sword hilt loosely, looking ahead and half listening as Forcystus continued to speak of methods of discipline.

Death was an escape, but Lloyd wasn't punishing the young man by keeping him alive. No. Lloyd was giving him another chance. Perhaps he would learn from his foolish outbursts, but Lloyd also hoped that he'd retain that foolish courage. He didn't want the young man to just stay alive. No. Lloyd wanted him to keep living.

**Please Review.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Listening to **See Me Through by Rascal Flatts**. I had a lot of fun with this chapter. I wrote it practically in one sitting with a few breaks. That hasn't happened since the first dozen chapters. **

**Anyway, hope you enjoy Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing!**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 25:**

"You want me to do what, exactly?"

A chilled, damp wind rushed over the clearing, throwing a spray up from the river. The droplets speckled Lloyd's left side, but he didn't even seem to notice. Colette shivered slightly, next to him, all too aware of why Lloyd was sitting outside rather than in the warm house.

She pretended to ignore the irritated glance he was giving her. He knew exactly what she wanted from him. She didn't like it when he played these games with her.

"Just go in and talk to Genis."

He regarded her, the corners of his mouth tilted down, unimpressed. She shivered again.

"You should go inside. You're cold," he commented finally, turning his eyes onto the stream as another gentle spray misted over them.

"So are you," she countered. She waited for him to answer, anxious at how distant he seemed to have gotten again over the past three days. Excluding the first day, Lloyd had said little more than five words to his friends. Most of the time he avoided them. "Lloyd, this has gone on long enough—"

"I have nothing to say to him," his reply came curtly.

Colette flinched, then stood and walked in front of him. Another gust of wind whipped around, them. She shivered.

"Don't act like this, Lloyd. Don't you dare act like this." Her voice quivered and she told herself it was the cold. Lloyd averted his gaze and she leaned forward, cautious how much more difficult it was with her protruding belly.

Her hands cupped his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. His russet eyes flickered with hidden hurt and her anger faded. She smiled shakily. "What are you afraid of? He's your friend."

Lloyd didn't respond and Colette leaned to kiss him, but his hands came up quickly, gently securing her wrists as he leaned back. "No, Colette."

A sudden flurry of emotions rushed through her. Eyes stinging, she gripped his face firmly. "I thought you loved me."

There was no hesitation. "I do. You know I do—"

"Then why I can't I kiss you? Why can't they know?" She felt as if she would break down. A sudden fear rushed through her, that perhaps she was deluding herself. That Lloyd didn't truly—

"They wouldn't understand." His hands suddenly held hers and he stood, looking down at her. The movement so swift, she hadn't registered it. Her eyes brimmed and he carefully pulled her into an embrace. She gripped the front of his shirt, his chin resting on her head and the surge of emotions vanished, leaving her empty.

"I don't understand," she whispered quietly, the tightness in her throat rising. It was an ache she couldn't swallow and burned as she struggled to breathe. His arms tightened around her. Strong and comforting. Why couldn't she control herself?

"I know," he whispered back, stroking her hair tenderly. She took a shuddery breath and wondered if he really did either. He was afraid. Afraid of rejection. Afraid that they wouldn't accept him. He lived in his own world where he needed to have control of his life, of his decisions. It wasn't fair that Yggdrasill had stolen that from him. He had stolen Lloyd's ability to trust and believe in what he wanted to do and never to second guess what he felt was right.

"Trust them."

Silence.

"Lloyd you have to trust them. They are your friends." She wanted to look him in the eye, but his arms held her firm against him and she could only grip his shirt tighter. "Why are you afraid of them?"

He let her go this time, his arms falling to his side and she turned her face up. He was staring beyond her, trying to find the answer to her question. It was as if he didn't even know it himself. She lifted her hand, touching his cheek and his eyes flickered back to her. She smiled, holding onto his gaze. "It will be alright."

His darks eyes bore down at her, his face stony and slightly pale. She lowered her hand and laid it on her stomach. His eyes followed it; confliction flashing through his expression, Colette tilted her head to the side, watching him. "What they think doesn't change who you are to me. It won't change who you are to our child either. You are you."

Lloyd didn't move for the longest moment, then his lips parted, barely moving as his deep voice said, "And who am I?" his eyes rose to meet hers, uncertainty and desperation in them.

She smiled softly, the memory of when they stood beside one another on the balcony all those years ago filled her mind. The fear Colette had felt then, not knowing her real identity, not knowing who she truly was, now echoed from Lloyd.

"You are you." The familiar words repeated in her mind as she spoke them. She could hear the young teenage boy's own voice, that once spoke with so much conviction and certainty. "And that is all you will ever be."

"You turn my words on me," he said, but without irritation. She could hear the tremble in his voice.

"Because it is true."

He didn't respond, rather raised his eyes, staring off again. A chilled breeze rushed through and Colette felt the first drops of rain as the sky opened up. Finally, he turned his eyes down to her and they seemed to gleam with a strange urgency as the gentle drizzle fell around them. "Colette, if I talk—"

A loud bark cut him off as Noishe rose in his pen, but didn't leave. Lloyd instinctively stepped back and raised his head, looking behind Colette, a mixture of astonishment and annoyance.

"Lloyd, what's—" she frowned in confusion then turned to follow his gaze only to gape in amazement.

On the foot of the logged bridge, Sheena stood next to Zelos. The Tethe'allan pair stood tense and uncertain, their eyes passing between Lloyd and Colette. They didn't even seem to notice the rain slowly drenching them as they regarded Lloyd with suspicion and reluctance.

Colette turned slowly to face them completely. "Sh-Sheena. Zelos. What are you doing here?"

Their eyes turned to her. The casual and familiar smirk stretched across the redheaded man, raising his hand in a half wave, though his eyes immediately returned to Lloyd. "An old Renegade gave us a lift."

Sheena's face seemed to transform into a relieved and warm smile as she stepped forward to greet Colette. Her mouth opened in greeting, when her eyes flickered down for the briefest moment and her voice paused for an instant, the whites in her eyes showing as they widen and snapped up to Colette's face. Whatever greeting she had planned to say was lost as she blurted out in astonishment.

"Colette! You're pregnant!"

* * *

Lloyd was going to have a long discussion with Yuan.

Following Sheena's abrupt shock and exclamation, a series of female centered questions flew from the young woman's mouth. Her face had lit up as she clasped Colette's hands; Sheena's eyes darting from Colette's face to her protruding belly gleamed in excitement and astonishment.

"I can't believe it! How far along are you? When did you find out? How are you feeling?"

Somehow, Colette managed to find answers to the ramble of endless questions spilling from the ninja's mouth and Lloyd turned his focus onto Zelos.

The shock had vanished quickly from the man's face and his eyes immediately rose to meet Lloyd's. Glaring suspicion radiated from him and uncertainty.

Lloyd forced himself not to look away, even when the next question clutched his heart.

"Who's the father?"

Zelos looked towards Colette and Lloyd suddenly realized that Zelos had been the one to ask it, not Sheena.

There was a pause of silence where the slight hiss of the rain around them seemed obstinately loud and accusing.

'_Tell them.'_

No.

_'Tell them.'_

He couldn't.

Lloyd's tongue felt like sandpaper in his mouth, his throat dry as he swallowed, his eyes turning to Colette. It was his. The child was his and he desired to lay out his claim to it. To stand beside Colette with his arm around her shoulders protectively and announce, with pride and hidden excitement, his future role.

_'Tell them.'_

_'I am the father.'_

He stepped forward, instantly drawing all eyes to him as if they all waited expectantly for his words. His tongue weighed heavily as he spoke. "It's not wise to stand in the rain."

Immediately the tension snapped and Sheena exclaimed her embarrassment at how careless she was keeping Colette out in the rain. She quickly stole Colette's arm and ushered her towards the house, fussing over her. It was an odd behaviour from Sheena, Lloyd thought.

"Smooth, Bud." The words were calloused and accusing and Lloyd turned to meet the stony gaze. Zelos stood slack, his trademark hair now drenched and flattened, but he seemed to care little about that as he scrutinized Lloyd. "You coming in?"

His tone didn't make it a request or an invitation. It was comparable to an outright demand. Lloyd felt the irritable trickle of water running down his neck, _like a slithering snake_, he thought as he held Zelos' gaze.

"After you."

The crooked smirk appeared instantly and he shrugged, sauntering the way a man does when he cares little for what goes on around him, but is aware. He was waiting to see if Lloyd would stab him in the back no doubt.

It had crossed Lloyd's mind a few times, pay back for a backstabber, and he smirked wirily as he followed the older man inside. He'd save that thought for Yuan.

Both men ducked in through the doorway, shaking the rain from themselves only to have a harsh scolding from Raine about dragging the damp into the house. Zelos immediately plastered the smile on his face and attempted to embrace the irritated half-elf.

Lloyd had lowered his head as he carefully removed his muddied boots and placed them near the door. He heard the slap and injured wail from Zelos' failed attempt. It felt very nostalgic, yet, he didn't smile. A quick glance around told him Colette was upstairs with Sheena.

"Zelos, take your boots off at the door! Presea just cleaned up the place!" Genis snapped annoyed and disgusted with the Tethe'allan's behaviour. Most likely because such behaviour was directed at his sister.

Genis' anger earned him only a ruffling of his hair from the older man and a quick laugh as Zelos dodged a badly aimed punch.

Lloyd sidestepped around the group and walked towards the old stove to stoke it.

It was too crowded in here.

"So, my gorgeous Professor, how is life in the boonies?" Zelos straddled a chair, kicking his boots off towards the door.

Genis seemed to scowl even more as mud splattered on the wooden floor. "Shouldn't you be explaining how you got here and why?"

"All in good time, Twerp, all in good time."

"I haven't missed you at all," Genis muttered.

Lloyd turned to the stove and added more wood.

"As well as it could, I suppose." Raine sighed, ignoring their banter. "The Desians have been more lenient of late. I suppose that is thanks to Colette's supposed death; however-

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Zelos lifted his hands. "The little Angel's death? I was sure I just saw her, not to mention her new load." Making light humour.

Raine looked at him oddly, and then sighed as if she suddenly recalled something exhausting.

Lloyd straightened, closing the stove and leaned against the wall, allowing the warmth to dry his clothes.

"Cruxis was recently alerted that the Chosen was deceased caused by a complication with her retrieval." The words left his mouth before he could stop them and immediately regretted it.

All eyes turned on him. Zelos frowned deeply. "How does that work? Why would they believe something like that?"

Raine rubbed her temple before rising as a shrill whistle of a kettle interrupted. Lloyd remained motionless as she approached the stove. She gave him the briefest of glances before busying herself with making tea. "Cruxis believes it because Lloyd acclaimed to be a witness to the act."

"Is that so?" he asked and Lloyd glanced at Zelos to find the man eyeing him curiously. "Now why would a Cruxis dog do something like that?"

Genis seemed to perk at the obvious tension, glancing inquiringly between the two men. Lloyd supposed he was both curious to Zelos' opinion of him and the answer to the question.

"An excellent question indeed, Zelos," Lloyd responded neutrally.

The man's lips tightened before transforming into a smooth smile and he laughed dryly. "Should have known you wouldn't answer that."

Genis sulked a bit, but glanced at Lloyd reluctantly as if he was uncertain whether he should press for an answer.

_'Talk to him.'_

No.

"I suppose an eye witness testimony from a loyal dog would be believable, wouldn't it?" Zelos folded his arms over the head of the chair. "I suppose we should be grateful."

"Yes, I think we should." Presea spoke up, her voice soft, but it seemed to make Zelos' mockery flicker. "Colette is able to relax more easily now that she no longer must run for her life. Especially now that she's with child, it's definitely a relief for her."

Raine nodded solemnly, taking a collection of mugs and the tea back to the table, where she filled them. The action seemed to make everyone fall silent, leaving them to consider Presea's words as they each took a mug.

Genis sniffed his experimentally before taking a tentative sip. Lloyd smirked slightly at the action and closed his eyes.

After a moment, Sheena and Colette descended the stairs; the latter dressed in fresh dry clothes, her damp hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. Lloyd watched her as she scanned her friends' faces until she finally turned and spotted him near the stove. Her happy smile made his throat constrict and he glanced away.

"That's much better, Colette. What were you thinking standing out in the rain and cold like that?" Raine offered her chair, ignoring Colette's attempts to decline and sat her down. "Of course, I suppose it's not entirely your fault." Her eyes drifted back to Lloyd and he met them stoically.

"Please, Raine. I'll be more careful next time." She leaned back gratefully into the chair, a tired sigh leaving her. Lloyd wanted to tell her to go back upstairs and rest.

He didn't.

The conversation remained light for the most part. The majority of it danced around the women discussing Colette's pregnancy. Raine was giving obtrusive advice on child caring, which Lloyd deduced was ambiguously based on how the older woman had raised Genis.

"I've read that both music and aloud reading greatly enhances the child's intellect while it's still in the womb."

Genis and Zelos snorted in amusement, while the other girls smiled. "Of course, that's what you would think of, Sis. The kid isn't even born yet and you still are obsessing over its education."

Indignant, Raine folded her arms. "Education is essential in the development of any child."

Sheena shook her head with a laugh. "We know, Raine." She turned to Colette with a smile. "So what are you hoping for?"

Colette tilted her head." Hoping for?"

"I believe my voluptuous hunny means, boy or girl?" Zelos explained, slinging an arm around Sheena loosely. Lloyd noticed she punched him in the side, but the Chosen hadn't removed his arm and neither did Sheena elaborate on it further. Interesting...

"Yes, as the idiot put it. Do you want a boy or a girl?" Sheena's smile returned.

"Oh," Colette said, her eyes slightly surprised. "I hadn't really thought about it yet. I suppose I would be happy with either."

"Oh, come on, Colette." Genis leaned on his arm, grinning. "I bet you want a girl."

A faint pink rose in her cheeks and she played with her fingers as she attempted to give an answer. "I think it would be wonderful to have a daughter. But, a little boy would be wonderful too. I mean both are..."

Lloyd felt excluded from the conversation and wanted to leave. The topic made him uncomfortable, if only for the fact he couldn't take part in it. Yet, he couldn't very well leave without drawing attention to himself.

He attempted to drown out the conversation, thinking instead on the drawing deadline of his visit. Only four more days remained until he needed to report to Yggdrasill. He had yet to visit the Iselia Ranch; however, he had made a number of obvious kills near and around the forest, dragging rather large carcasses to be found later by the Desian scouts. All he needed was to report to Forcystus where most of the monsters had been congregating and have him send patrols to those areas regularly to keep the threat down. They would find the carcasses—most likely half eaten—and back up his report...

"I bet if it was a girl, she would look like you," Sheena commented, the small phrase igniting foreign curiosity in Lloyd. He turned his attention back to them just as Zelos leaned forward with his two-cents.

"Oh definitely! I could easily picture another little angel with your big blue eyes and long blonde hair." He smirked as Sheena gave him a too gentle of an elbow in his side to make him lean back, which he did, though unperturbed. "Yep, yep. Another angel that fell from heaven." His arm still lingered on Sheena's shoulders.

Genis rolled his eyes, but nodded. "Yeah, I could totally see it, if it was a girl, being a mini-you, Colette."

Colette's face seemed to have brightened pink even more, though she smiled warmly. "Y-you don't know that," She stammered, embarrassed.

"Now, if it was a boy. That would be a little harder to picture." Zelos leaned back somewhat and Lloyd stiffened to notice the seriousness behind his fake smile.

Presea looked at him curiously. "Why is that? The child would still have Colette's genes."

"Hmm? Oh yes, yes." He waved his hand, but the smile vanished. "But usually you imagine the son to look like the father, you know what I mean?"

The others fell silence and Lloyd felt the tension building as they waited; their attention on Colette. Lloyd's hand tightened in irritation. Why must they always bring that up?

When Colette didn't answer, Zelos leaned forward. "You never did answer my earlier question, Colette. About who was the father."

"Perhaps that is because it's Colette choice to tell us." Raine spoke up firmly, though Lloyd heard the reluctance in her own voice. She wanted to know just as much, but she wasn't about to corner Colette as they had. "She will tell us if she wants to."

Genis' eyes turned down, staring into his empty mug, hurt and resentment evident on his face. Sheena shared a look of disappointment and uncertain anxiety. Lloyd didn't particularly like the expressions on the remaining three, but only Zelos locked eyes with him.

'_Tell them.'_

No—not yet.

"Well I, for one, am hoping it's a little girl," Sheena announced into the awkward silence. "I could teach you patterns for little kimonos that would look adorable."

Zelos made a face behind Sheena's back making Colette and Genis laugh, earning the man a—finally—well deserved hit."

"I agree, though." Presea smiled gently, slight hesitation. "A little girl would definitely be sweet."

"Are you kidding? We have too many girls around already." Genis griped, ducking his head as Presea frowned at him, but continued anyway. "It would be awesome to have a boy running around and getting into trouble." His grin was genuine and yet Lloyd felt a twinge of jealousy in the way Genis spoke. As if he would be the one helping the boy to...

"I highly doubt Colette needs anymore stress in her life, much less have a boy 'running around and getting into trouble'," Raine chided her brother, who rolled his eyes at her.

Lloyd started to look away when Presea's voice reached out to him. "What do you think, Lloyd?"

The question came so abruptly that Lloyd could only stare at the young girl blankly. The others had twisted in their seats, curious to his response. Presea had her head tilted, something Lloyd was certain she had learned when regaining her emotions. Most likely from Colette.

"Yeah, Bud. What do you think?" Lloyd was certain no one else caught the uncertain mocking in Zelos' question. At least, that was what Lloyd wanted to believe.

His eyes returned to Presea, then lingering on each face, until they reached Colette where they stopped. She wanted an answer; it was obvious in her eyes. She wanted him to tell her what he honestly thought.

Lloyd closed his eyes, the slight shift in his shoulders emphasizing his blatant words.

"I have no opinion on the matter."

He didn't want to see the disappointment that would show in Colette's eyes.

"I'm checking on Noishe."

So he left.

* * *

"Your son is odd."

Kratos slowly lifted his eyes from the computer screen as Yuan stood across the room from him. The half-elf seemed to notice he caught his friend's attention and decided that was an invitation to approach and bother him further.

He sighed.

"What has he done this time?" Kratos lowered his eyes back to the screen, filtering through the files. He really didn't have time to deal with Yuan at the moment and whatever he wanted to discuss about Lloyd, probably wasn't very significant anyway. Yggdrasill was expecting a progress report on the new-targeted Chosen, which was bothersome. In light of Colette's recent death, the family had decided to move to a more protected area, fearing a potential attack from the Desians. Ironically enough. Now Kratos was forced to alert the local ranch that—

"It's not so much as what he's done, but what he hasn't." Yuan's voice cut into Kratos' thoughts and he sighed again, leaning back. Yuan smiled dryly at his irritation.

"I hope this isn't another of your elaborate theories concerning my son's personal life." The reminder nearly made him wince at the awkward memory, concerning the 'bunnies' situation. He most definitely did not want to approach Lloyd in such a topic again. Then again, Kratos supposed he wouldn't have to. Perhaps there had been some truth behind Yuan's exaggerated theories, he thought with a smirk.

"All I ever have to work with are theories." Yuan leaned against the computer stand, obviously in Kratos' line of sight.

"Then tell me and be done with it. Unlike you, I'm a little preoccupied." Kratos gave his friend a withering glance.

"She's alive isn't she?"

Kratos didn't even flinch. "Who? I thought we were discussing my son."

Yuan frowned, his brow knotting together in plain irritation. "Don't you dare play games with me, Kratos. I knew he got that trait from you."

He sighed for a third time.

"Honestly, Yuan, if you cannot get to the point of this interruption then—"

"Is the Chosen alive or not?"

He did ask for bluntness. "I think it would be obvious that she isn't, otherwise why am I bothering with this report?"

"Don't mock me. We all know that paperwork is the easiest way to lie. Lloyd did it all the time." Yuan folded his arms. "What has he told you?"

"He doesn't talk to me, Yuan." Kratos turned his attention back to the computer screen, his fingers tapping the keys periodically as he filtered through the necessities. "In fact," he started, not looking up. "I believe he has had more conversations with you than me in the last few months."

There was a long pause, until Yuan grabbed Kratos' shoulder, turning him in the chair to face him. "She is, isn't she?"

"My responsibility concerning the Chosen, Colette Brunel, is long over. If you want information involving her, ask Lloyd and read his report."

"Damn you, Aurions." Yuan scowled and pulled back. Kratos regarded him quietly, knowing he wasn't finished. Yuan glanced at him irritably. "I will find out. Sooner or later."

"Undoubtedly."

"He definitely gets it from you." Yuan shook his head, a thin smirk slipping through his annoyance.

Kratos lifted his shoulders slightly. "I suppose that eases my worries that he learned it from you."

"Mind your tongue, Kratos." Yuan smirked. "Your son's intellect is thanks to me. You should be more appreciative."

"If I recall correctly, Lloyd advanced much quicker under my supervision than he did with you." He couldn't resist, the half-elf's ego was too high.

Yuan scoffed, but let it drop. "Think what you like. Regardless, I will find out what your son is up to."

"I'm sure you will. Now, are you finished?"

"For now." It was a promise and he strode stiffly from the room.

_Prying half-elf_, Kratos cursed inwardly, rubbing his face. He'd have to warn Lloyd that Yuan would be snooping around. Fate would have it that Yuan would interfere with Lloyd's affair and hold it against him. However, Yuan wouldn't interfere—he hoped—for another few days. He wasn't that bold to search out Lloyd while he was on a mission. As impatience as Yuan was, the half-elf somehow had patience. What a paradoxical man.

He sighed for a fourth time.

* * *

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize."

"But I'm—"

"Don't, Colette," Lloyd repeated firm, his eyes closed.

There was a brief silence and the soft rustle of footsteps crossing the straw of Noishe's pen. The protozoan whined happily to have another visitor, his tail thumping against Lloyd's leg.

"I will tell them. If that's what you want, I can—"

Lloyd's eyes opened slowly and he lifted his hand to her mouth, a single finger pressed against her lips. The light, grey cloak she wore was speckled with raindrops, the tip of her noise slightly damp and the strands of hair showing through her hood were moist. She still seemed to glow.

Lloyd removed his finger and shifted the large protozoan's head to make room for her beside him. Noishe snuffed indignantly, but satisfied his revenge by laying his head on Lloyd's lap instead.

Colette sat slowly, her awkward descent to the floor made Lloyd wish he had moved one of the crates from the corners for her. Still she made it, her hand resting on her belly tenderly and she leaned her head on his shoulder.

They sat there quietly, the patter of rain on the roof above rhythmic as well as Noishe's deep whoofs as he dozed.

"What do you want it to be?"

In a way, Lloyd knew the question coming. Eventually, Colette would want to know his opinion on the matter. The guessing game. What is your child's gender? A fifty percent chance.

"A boy or a girl?" She emphasized as if he hadn't understood her the first time.

Boy or girl? What was the real point of this question? Whatever his answer was, it wouldn't change the outcome. He said as much.

Colette tilted her head to look up at him, a small frown tugging the corners of her mouth. "Because I want to know."

He hesitated, pondering her answer. She wanted to know. Why? To him it didn't make sense. The child would be either a son or a daughter, whichever it was he would—

"It's a simple question, Lloyd."

"It's an irrelevant one. What you're asking doesn't make sense."

She seemed amused by that and sat up, turning slightly to face him. "Why is that?" She pushed back the hood, a small smile on her face.

Lloyd hesitated, wondering if he was approaching the question wrong, but quickly decided he wasn't. "As I said before. Whatever I say won't change the gender of the child. It will be what it will be."

"So?"

He frowned at her. "What do you mean, 'so'?"

"If your answer won't affect the child's gender, then what's wrong with telling me?" she tucked her hair behind her ear only to have it fall loose. Lloyd reached over and tucked it back again.

"So, boy or girl?" she asked again.

He didn't know. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do." Colette pressed, reassuringly.

Lloyd furrowed his brow, frustrated. "I would be happy with either."

Colette huffed, her cheeks brightening and she shifted again, grabbing his hand. "Lloyd, okay. What would you do if you had a son?"

He felt awkward, the realization of who he soon would be was rising up again and he ultimately wished to drop the conversation. Somehow, though, Lloyd knew he wasn't escaping this one.

"I would most likely teach the boy swordsmanship when he was old enough," he answered hesitantly.

Colette nodded a small smile on her face. "Okay and if it was a girl."

Lloyd looked at her oddly. "I would teach her as well."

The both looked at each other for a moment before Colette released an exasperated sigh. "Lloyd, what else would you teach her?"

Why wasn't that satisfactory? He pondered for a while longer. "Perhaps carving, if she were interested, or metalwork." Colette stared at him for the longest time and he gave a slight glare. "What? I am answering your questions."

She started laughing, covering her mouth with hand. "Oh, Lloyd."

He didn't understand what she found amusing. However, he was glad all the same that she smiled. "Why would I treat the child differently if it was a boy or a girl?"

Colette tilted her head to the side, a bright smile lighting up her face. "I suppose you wouldn't."

Lloyd refrained from asking why she had insisted on him answering these questions if that was the case, when she suddenly took his hand firmly. "Lloyd?"

"Yes?"

"You will make a great father."

The words were simple and plain, she said them so easily and without hesitation. Lloyd couldn't find his voice, so he didn't try to answer.

Colette didn't seem to expect one. It was just something she had pointed out. Like a statistic or fact.

He would make a great father.

Would he?

Colette shifted back to her previous position, curling up next to him; head on his shoulder and they listened to the rain. Lloyd didn't keep track of the time.

Eventually he said, "They will be wondering where you are."

"They know where I am."

Pause.

"I can't tell them. Not yet."

"I know."

Pause.

"I think Zelos is suspicious. I think he has figured it out."

"Are you worried he will tell the others?"

Lloyd hesitated on that, then shook his head. "No. Zelos only confronts someone if he knows he is certain. He will not say anything unless we confirm it." She didn't ask how he could know that.

"What about Raine and Presea?" she asked after a moment. "I think Raine might be figuring it out too. She doesn't believe I would have..."

"Raine is similar to Zelos, though less predictable. If she knows, she will confront us privately." He paused again. "You think Presea knows?"

"I don't know. But, the way she asked you that question today...I think she might, but she won't tell either. She understands how I feel about this." She found his hand, slipping her fingers through his and twisted her head to look up at him. "It's because of Genis, isn't it?"

"It always returns to him, Colette," Lloyd admitted quietly.

"Because he is your friend."

'Was' he wanted to say, but didn't for her sake—or perhaps his. "Genis would feel betrayed further if I admitted to being the child's father." He turned to look down at her. "Consider it from Genis' eyes for a moment, Colette."

"What do you mean?"

"When we were young, it was the three of us and only us. Then I vanished and abandoned him," She opened her mouth, but he cut her off. "When I returned, it was like I betrayed him again and he turned to you. You defend me, which frightens him more. He feels left behind Colette, as if the world has moved on around him and we left him with nothing but memories. Then you returned. If I come and take that from him too, he'll—"

"You aren't taking me. I'll still be here!"

"He won't see it like that, Colette." Lloyd shook his head. "We are adults, he is bordering being a teenage and becoming a man. To see you as a mother and a...wife and me as the father and husband and seeing our child...Genis would feel as if he no longer has a place next to you."

Colette lifted her head up, her eyes shining, her mouth set firm. "Then you will go in there, right now, and explain to him that that will not happen."

"Colette—"

"You will talk to your best friend, Lloyd Aurion!" She narrowed her eyes, pointing back at the house, having risen to her feet.

He stared at her, his own eyes narrowed, but then he sighed. "Colette—"

"Now."

"Will you—"

"Now, Lloyd." Firm and final.

Lloyd gave her a long look, but she just folded her arms, her frown deepening as she looked down at him.

He sighed again.

"Fine."

**Please Review.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Listening to **No Way Out by Phil Collins. **This song pretty much sums up Lloyd's thoughts. When I heard it I couldn't believe it. Anyway, so finally got a job. Exhausting and does nothing for my free time to write, but I'll try to keep up with the chapters. Again, thank you everyone for reviewing. Love getting them and they are a great encouragement. I hope you all enjoy. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 26:**

"What do you want to know?"

The wind whipped around the two men standing behind Noishe's pen, driving cold rain into their faces. Lloyd ignored the chill moisture soaking his hair and rivulets running down his face. He watched Genis' suspicious eyes scanning him as the young teen hesitated at the abrupt offer. Lloyd still had misgivings of going through with this. It wasn't as if Colette's stern demand was truly binding him. He could turn and walk away from this confrontation easily enough. Colette would be disappointed and upset and Genis insulted; however...a part of Lloyd didn't want to walk away this time either.

So he stood, waiting for his words to sink in, preparing himself for whatever questions Genis would throw at him.

The half-elf shivered beneath his heavy gray cloak, his angular face tucked protectively within the hood, his gray-blue eyes conflicted with indecision and uncertainty. Slowly, it vanished, replaced with a set frown, one Lloyd had been expecting.

"Are you even going to bother answering my questions, or just dance around them?" He folded his thin beneath the cloak. "That way you can tell Colette you tried right?"

He didn't flinch. "You think I'm doing this for Colette?" Of course, Colette was part of the reason, but not entirely. He needed to remind himself of that.

Genis seemed to pull back uncertainly, as if Lloyd's question confused him. Still, with slight hesitation, Genis pressed with his assumption regardless. "Yeah, I do. You don't even want to do this, do you?"

Lloyd paused, considering his words. Honesty, he decided was what was needed now. He'd take Genis' reaction as it would come.

"No, not particularly," he admitted.

"Then why the hell did you bring me out here?" Genis' instant retort snapped, biting as harsh as the wind.

"To give you the opportunity," Lloyd said after a moment. "Just because I don't care to, doesn't mean that I won't try. Neither does it suggest that I shouldn't. I have many reasons why I should turn and walk away right now." He paused, noticing the surprise spreading across Genis' face. "However, I have reasons for staying and offering this to you."

Genis seemed torn with his emotions and Lloyd waited, allowing him to sort out his thoughts. Lloyd could wait. He felt a cold trickle of water trail down his neck.

"What are the reasons? For staying, I mean." The blue-gray eyes rose to meet his and Lloyd struggled to hold the gaze.

"Is that really important?" Lloyd ventured.

"It is to me," Genis answered.

Lloyd turned aside, unable to meet his old friend's inquiring look. "Colette, as you stated before is one. It upsets her to see us fight."

Genis said nothing, not that he really needed to. They were both aware of Colette's feelings. He waited.

"And I suppose leaving you ignorant has no real advantage, except for maintaining my privacy." Lloyd glanced at him, the wind lifting their cloaks, the wet cloth chilled.

Genis shifted, his eyes not leaving Lloyd. "Is that all?"

Lloyd met his eyes again.

_'Tell him.'_

No...

_'Tell him.'_

"I've hurt you."

The wing whistled sharply in the following silence, the two staring at one another. Genis went to speak; disbelief and confliction making him stop. Lloyd could feel him searching his face, looking for something that wouldn't be there.

Finally, he said, "Yeah...you did."

Neither said anything for a time, the half-elf turning his head to the side, staring out at the forest, an anguished frown on his face.

"I deserve any resentment or loathing you have towards me. I betrayed you. I betrayed everyone and I don't pretend I didn't. I made my decisions and I am willing to meet the consequences for them—" Lloyd started.

"Do you think I really want to hate you?" Genis turned his head slowly, fists clenched at his side. The tremble of his shoulders was not from the cold.

Lloyd didn't reply. He didn't know the answer to that. He deserved to be hated and that's all he knew. If he deserved it from anyone, it was Genis...

"I...I don't understand..." Genis started, faltering. "My best friend died. That's what I finally believed. After all those years of hoping with Colette, I gave up. I gave up! And I was—I was so mad at you!" he lifted his eyes, the pain in them like a brandishing knife. "I kept thinking 'How could Lloyd die? How could my best friend die on me? Just like that' and I hated you for it and I hated myself for thinking that—"

"I apolo—"

"Shut up!" Genis snapped, a slight catch in his voice. "Your apologies mean nothing to me! Because I don't know if you actually mean it!"

Lloyd swallowed quietly, his expression impassive.

"You died on me, Lloyd. You died. And then..." he shook his head, a choking chuckle leaving his throat. "Then you come back, just like that. I saw you and I—I didn't recognize you at all, but when I did, I was so happy. I was so surprised and relieved—" he cut himself off, turning his face away. He couldn't finish, not with breaking down, Lloyd knew. But he didn't need to finish. Lloyd knew what happened next.

"You want something from me I can't give you, Genis." Lloyd spoke quietly, his deep voice calm. He paused, watching the effort Genis was giving in controlling his emotions.

"Oh yeah?" Bitterness lacing the words. "And what exactly do I want?"

"Lloyd Irving."

Genis snapped his eyes onto him, hot rage flashing through them. His knuckles white and body stiff.

"Lloyd Irving did die that day—"

"If he died then who the hell are you?"

"Someone else." Lloyd turned his face down, closing his eyes. "Both of us know I am no longer the same person."

Genis immediately scowled. "That doesn't mean you died!"

"I can't go back to being Lloyd Irving, Genis!" Lloyd countered curtly. "He's gone."

"Then why does Colette defend you? Why the hell does she trust you?" Genis shouted at him. "Why would the others trust you?"

Lloyd frowned. "They don't trust me."

"Colette does," he retorted flatly.

Again, it returned to Colette. "I can't answer that for her. That's something you should ask—"

"I did ask her. And she said it was because you are our friend. Because you are Lloyd. She wouldn't say that if it wasn't true."

"Wouldn't she?" Lloyd replied.

"She wouldn't lie to me about that," he repeated stubbornly.

Lloyd said nothing. The conversation was turning ugly and he didn't want Colette being dragged into this argument. Genis folded his arms, a smug and irritated look on his face. If Genis believed Lloyd's silence to be a submission, then Lloyd would let him believe that. The last thing he wanted was to become entangled into another heated argument. He came out here to give Genis an opportunity to understand, not fight.

"Did you have any other questions?" he said it with a hint of exasperation, hoping Genis would understand he wouldn't put up with another bickering match.

The younger half-elf seemed to catch it and sobered. He remained quiet for another minute, shivering from the cold before he locked eyes with Lloyd. "Why did you try to take Colette?"

A cold memory pricked at the back of Lloyd's mind and he pushed it away. "I thought it was clear I didn't."

"I'm not asking if you did or not. I'm asking why you came to do it in the first place. And don't you dare shoved it aside. If I want anything answered, it's this." Genis immediately demanded, perhaps a bit defensive.

Of all the questions Genis could have asked, why that one...

* * *

_"I don't care about the whereabouts of those other inferior beings! I want the Chosen from Sylvarant!" _

_Lloyd watched silently as Pronyma cringed under their leader's anger. He held no sympathy for her, in fact, as far as Lloyd was concerned, the simple-minded half-elf deserved what she received._

_Pronyma had always been a poor excuse for a Desian; never mind a leader. A few years ago Yuan had, quite disgustedly, explained how the woman managed to sneak her way into the position. 'Too young and too ambitious' was what Yuan had said. She didn't know to handle her position anymore than a child attempting to handle a sword. Sure, Pronyma could swing her power around wildly, but it was awkward, did unpredictable damage and left the wielder completely vulnerable. Lloyd always wondered why Yggdrasill would bother keeping such a failure in control. _

_"My Lord," Pronyma desperately pleaded—whined, in Lloyd's opinion. "We can't seem to keep the Chosen in our sights. Small parties seem to disappeared and later found slaughtered and any large party attracts the Renegades' attention—"_

_"I did not ask you for excuses, Pronyma," Yggdrasill hissed, his irritation with her increasing with every second. _

_"But my Lord—"_

_Yggdrasill backhanded her, cutting off any more feeble excuses. She should have just shut her mouth after the first warning, Lloyd thought. _

_The woman held her swollen cheek, fear and stunned surprise on her face. Lloyd figured that was her greatest strength with Yggdrasill, her utter respect and fear for the man. She truly believed and drank in every word that left his mouth. She was his perfect disciple. _

_Kratos stood a few feet from Yggdrasill, watching the display with little interest. Yuan was closer to Lloyd and the satisfied smirk on his lips was obvious. The Renegade Leader was undeniably enjoying the show. He never had really liked Pronyma. _

_"Years! How could you not find one human girl in seven years?" _

_Pronyma began to stutter an answer, but Yggdrasill turned from her, looking to Kratos. "This is ridiculous. Have you had any luck at all, Kratos?"_

_Lloyd turned his eyes onto his father and the elder man lifted his shoulders in a lazy shrug, eyes closing with short shake. "She covers her tracks well, Lord Yggdrasill. However, the reports on the new Chosen are satisfying. She has begun her first year of teaching under the Church."_

_"At least that is some better news." Yggdrasill's earlier spurt of rage seemed to have faded with Kratos' calmer tone. It was always odd to Lloyd how Kratos could affect the other's mood so easily. _

_Yuan wouldn't bother offering his own two cents and Yggdrasill didn't bother asking. It was another odd relationship that Lloyd had become used to over the years. Yuan's often curt, callous attitude never seemed to offend Yggdrasill. Lloyd suspected it had something to do with their past; however, all he was ever told about it was that they had all been companions. It wasn't a subject lightly discussed around him._

_"If she is still alive, I want her found. That Chosen was the closest we've ever had in matching with Martel." Yggdrasill suddenly continued. "We can't afford to lose her."_

_"Aren't you forgetting that the land of Sylvarant will perish if mana isn't steadily brought back to it?" Yuan interjected with the bitterness he always had during these conversations._

_"Yes, course. But we can change the flow easy enough without the formal ritual, if need be. I'm more interested in having her brought to Derris Kharlan, undamaged." _

_"She's too unpredictable to follow," Yuan pressed. _

_Lloyd looked at him oddly for taking a sudden interest in this. _

_"And what are you suggesting exactly?" Yggdrasill turned his attention on him, irritated yet interested. _

_"Send someone who is able to."_

_Immediately the room fell silent and Lloyd felt all eyes fall on him. He glanced at Yuan, but for once found the half-elf betraying nothing of his thoughts. Kratos was much the same, his expression impassive and hard. _

_"Do you think me a fool, Yuan?" Yggdrasill snapped his eyes back to the half-elf with a scowl. _

_"Perhaps, if you have never considered the idea before this." Yuan shrugged, nonchalant. _

_Yggdrasill narrowed his eyes, but glanced back at Lloyd, scanning him, before speaking to Yuan. "You think he can handle it?"_

_"Why don't you ask him?"_

_The silence fell again and Lloyd refrained from glaring at Yuan for bringing Yggdrasill's attention onto him. He always learned it was better to remain in the shadows unless it was necessary and up until now it had never been._

_"Lloyd Aurion."_

_"Yes, Lord Yggdrasill." His irritation at Yuan faded, placing his attention solely on Yggdrasill. _

_"Do you think you could locate the Chosen?"_

_Lloyd paused, considering his question. The Chosen of Sylvarant, Colette Brunel. A fairly gullible, naive girl. Overly optimistic, along with an overly kind personality. Clumsy, if he recalled. Though often her clumsiness was blessed—Unimportant. The Chosen would most likely linger around the towns in a pattern, circling the world. She would most likely still have contact with her companions and would seek them out periodically. Once he located a witness sighting her, it wouldn't take long to determine which route she chose—_

_"Lloyd?" Yggdrasill's impatience cut him off._

_"Yes, I believe I could to try."_

_Lloyd would have assumed his answer would please Yggdrasill, however the half-elf only narrowed his eyes. _

_"Good. Now then, you will find the Chosen, Colette Brunel, and bring her to Derris Kharlan alive. Understood."_

_Lloyd listened to the order then nodded without hesitation. "Yes, Lord Yggdrasill." _

_The smile Lloyd had been expecting appeared and Yggdrasill nodded appraisingly. "Excellent. Your aid in this will help us reach our goal to resurrect Martel and restore the worlds. When can you leave?"_

_"Immediately, if you desire, Lord Yggdrasill." _

_"Excellent," he repeated. "Kratos help your son prepare for his departure and let him know where the Chosen was last spotted." He dismissed them both._

_Kratos nodded and followed Lloyd to his room. "Lloyd—"_

_"The Chosen was last seen in Palmacosta and later in Izoold, am I correct? I suppose it would be wise to begin on that continent."_

_"Lloyd, why did you agree to this?"_

_The abrupt question had been expected. Truthfully, Lloyd, himself, had been a slightly surprised by Yggdrasill's offer, but he understood the reasoning and desperation behind the offer. _

_"I didn't agree. Lord Yggdrasill gave me an order to retrieve the Chosen." Lloyd looked at his father solidly. _

_"You could have refused."_

_"What would be the benefit behind that?"_

_Kratos frowned and stepped further into the room, rubbing his jaw absently. Something he did when he was frustrated. "Perhaps because the Chosen is Colette Brunel."_

_"I'm aware of that."_

_"And that doesn't bother you? The fact that you are fetching her to bring her back to the situation you originally saved her from?"_

_Lloyd paused, his father's words sinking in slightly. It was true. He had rescued Colette from her fate years ago. However, back then, he had never sat down and considered the consequences for his actions. He never had a plan of what he planned to accomplish by doing that. Of course, he had claimed he'd find another way, but that way had never presented itself, even after spending years with nothing to do but think. Now, seven years later, nothing had changed. Still, did the fact of retrieving her bother him? Colette had been his childhood friend and there had been an inkling of something more if given the chance—which they never got—and he would admit that even now, he recalled something of a fondness for the young girl. _

_But the years blended to together on his comet as did the memories. Many memories he had locked away, trying to ease some of the pain they gave him and they were nothing more than that. A memory, a moment in time. Faces blurred, voices muffled and whispers and the very essence of the memory sealed off, because it was that essence that stung the most. He couldn't recall when he had filed away his 'friends'. Each one just another listing for him to recall should the need arise, but only as a fact, not a personal connection. _

_However, it wouldn't be difficult to restore those memories, if he ever dared—which he wouldn't—and suddenly despise himself for agreeing to such a mission. Still, the fact was, it wasn't Lloyd's choice. It was Yggdrasill's. He had been ordered and it was expected of him to complete that order, if not fully, then to the best of his abilities. Failure or refusal wasn't an option. Yggdrasill received what he wanted. Pronyma failed at that. Lloyd was positive he wouldn't. Failure just wasn't an option._

_"Lloyd?" Kratos' hand caught his shoulder._

_Lloyd realized suddenly that as he had been summarizing his response to Kratos' question, he had been gathering his belongings and was now facing the door, prepared to leave. His father's concern and anxiety was heartfelt and Lloyd couldn't help but give him a reassuring, yet weak, smile. _

_"I can accomplish this mission, Dad."_

_It wasn't the answer his father was looking for, but it was the answer Lloyd gave._

* * *

"Lloyd?"

It took him a moment to refocus on Genis, absently wondering how long he had been lost in thought with the memory.

"It had been an order."

His sudden answer seemed to catch Genis off guard, but his anger quickly resurfaced. "An order? What do you mean an order?"

"After a series of unsuccessful results Yggdrasill believed I would be able to handle it."

"What so you just agreed to it?" Genis' outrage was peaking, but Lloyd was going to be honest.

"More or less."

"What the hell does that mean? More or less? Either you did or you didn't!"

"Then I did."

The wind seemed to match Genis' fury and Lloyd wondered if perhaps he was attempting a spell. However, there was no mana movement in the air and Lloyd relaxed, accepting the disgust thrown his way. It matched his own.

"I can't believe this! I can't believe that you would actually agree to-to—" Genis cut off and snapped his head in his direction. "Why?"

"Why?"

"Why did you agree?"

Immediately Lloyd threw up the protective walls, blocking out any emotions that would reveal anything. It wasn't intended, but more reflexive and he struggled with it, eyeing Genis' own conflicting emotions, blatantly visible on his face. He said he would answer, but to some degree. This was something Lloyd had never anticipated from Genis.

"As I said, it was an order—"

"I don't buy that crap. What's the real reason?" Genis stood stiffly, indifferent to the stinging rain and snapping wind. His stubbornness both impressed and irritated Lloyd, but he supposed he gave Genis much the same reaction.

"Over the years, I had...forgotten." Lloyd couldn't prevent the slight hesitation, the evident shame lacing it. It was true. "I had forgotten. I had forgotten what was really important to me. Who was important to me."

Lloyd was sure there had been a tremble in his voice when he finally admitted this and perhaps that is only what Genis heard. The anger seemed to fade slightly, the disgust withering away and what Lloyd saw remained, made him turn away. Sympathy. Pity, the very thing he detested the most. It made him feel helpless as if what he had done had never truly been in his power. That he had just been slid into position, his strings pulled by a puppet master.

He was very well aware this was all true; however, Lloyd would much rather deny that, knowing that at least to some degree, he did have a decision in the string of events and he simply hadn't chosen the morally correct one.

"I am sorry."

Lloyd lifted his gaze back to Genis, finding the half-elf had moved closer.

Lloyd turned from him and walked away. The conversation was over. Genis didn't call out for him. Perhaps, Lloyd thought, he felt as torn by the three words as Lloyd was. Or perhaps not. Either way, Lloyd couldn't face him anymore and walked into the cover of the forest.

The drizzle gave way to a steady rain, the tiny drops thunderous as they struck and rustled the thousands of leaves about him upon entering the forest. His face was wet and his eyes blank. The underbrush and vegetation slapped against his sodden legs, his pants swishing adding to the calamity of noises around him. It drove away his thoughts, leaving nothing but the endless noise.

He wasn't sure when he stopped, nor when he sat at the base of a trunk, arms propped limply upon his knees, staring out into the forest. A thick, wet mist slipped through the trees like snakes. It rose and fell as if it breathed with the forest. Tendrils curled around the sodden trunks, white and hazy.

There wasn't an escape from it, from its clutches. It was without substance, easily penetrable. At least until you were within it. Directions are lost, decisions conflicted and a sense of security, a sense of stability and comfort and warmth and—all of it gone. Left with nothing but a fear, a need to search for a shadow, a certainty, a hope of something familiar and once it appears, rush for it, building decisions and direction based on that familiar structure. Only then is it possible to move forward, lost until the edge of the mist is reached...

And he was still trapped.

Lloyd's eyes closed, head bowed. The weight upon his shoulders of his sodden cloak, felt like the weight of his decisions pressing down on him. How could he have lost sight of everything he had been fighting for to protect?

His fist clenched, digging into his palms.

He had failed. Utterly and completely failed everyone. Himself, his friends, the world and Colette. He had driven away the pain and resulted in becoming the very creature he had despised.

'_And you don't even realize that behaving like this...'_

He had tried to so hard to preserve his determination, to not break and give in. He had stripped away every weakness that would topple his self-control and strengthened his resolve. Lloyd had sacrificed his very self in order to be himself.

_'...you are doing exactly what you are supposed to.'_

The rain had stopped, but his cheeks remained damp and he bowed his head to hide his shame. The first tremor ran through his body, a jarring shiver that made his throat ache, his eyes stinging anew. He couldn't breathe and he gave a strangled gasp. Everything had fallen apart and he was left with nothing but a broken collection of colorless memories, wandering through a mist of indecisions and despondency.

The second shudder seemed to claw at his throat. His teeth ached as he clenched them in a futile attempt to stop the second sob that broke through. He wept, choking and quiet, with the steady pattering of residual raindrops descending from the canopy, barely masking the sharp hitches of breath.

They should hate him. They should despise and hate him for how he hurt them. Betraying their trust. And he deserved it. Every glare, every harsh word and cold glance. He deserved the loathing and resentment. He deserved it from them and from himself. Everything he had stood for. Every stance, every flare determination he once had as an adolescent, would be insulted by who he had become.

His fingers dug in, arms tightening around him as if to ward off the thoughts as he struggled to breathe through the heaving sobs. It hurt to think of what he had become. Like a wedge driving into his chest, like a hand compressing his heart. It made him want to cry out in desperation. Everything he had strived to be was gone and he was left with nothing more than this empty cold soul. Nothing was left. Nothing but frayed strings, snapped under pressure. They couldn't be pulled together, there wasn't a connection, there was a gap where the tiny threads had disintegrated. They couldn't even be knotted, rather left to dangle and twist before him, like a kitten teased with yarn. He longed to grasp them, to mend everything broken inside him, but he didn't know how and he didn't know where to begin. He didn't even know if he could. But he wanted to. He wanted to. For them. For her...

He did not deserve her. Her tenderness, her optimism like a beacon in the haze. He clung to her and threatened to drag her down, even after betraying her trust, her memory, her friendship—

But she loved him. It was that he clung to. It was delicate and so fragile in his mind, yet he felt the power of it. It ensnared him in a way that both frightened and comforted, like a pair of arms encircling him from behind, holding him in place. He could neither break free, nor find the will or desire to. Lloyd had always believed he was the one tethering Colette in place, holding her against her will, that he was luring her into yet another danger. Never had he considered the possibility that he was the one trapped. He needed her, needed her touch in way that made him feel desperate, like a mutt straining at the end of a chain.

And their child.

He shuddered and lifted his head back, feeling the chilled air drying his cheeks and lashes. Salt settled in the corner of his mouth, his lips as dry as his throat. He shuddered again, his inhale a stuttering breath and he peeled his eyes open.

Their child. His child. Yet another gift he didn't deserve. Yet another hand to clutch his heart, to pull his emotions and conflict his judgments. He was not a father. He was a failed man, a creature of pain and betrayal. What could he teach his child, born with innocence untainted? What could he give that would be worthy?

He was afraid. Terrified. To hold that babe in his hands, to look down and lay claim to the tiny infant. To declare himself a father.

But he would. Just as he would claim Colette as his wife. They were his—or perhaps he was theirs—and the shadow of Cruxis would rise behind him and Lloyd would shield them from it. That's all there was and would be. His place between his future family and Cruxis.

He rose from the forest floor and strode through the low mist, the haze parting in violent swirls around him.

**Please Review.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Listening to **Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne. **So tired. I should be going to bed, but I won't be able to update in the morning cause of work. Sorry it's a bit on the late side. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews and for everyone who reads. Appreciate it as always. Enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 27:**

He wasn't back. Not really anyway. He was just a shadow of the companion they knew, a person of recognition, but no real familiarity. They didn't throw wide their arms and welcome him home, nor approach him and give their apologies. The acceptance was more unspoken and still extremely tense.

Genis must have mentioned their conversation, for Lloyd noticed the subtle changes immediately when he re-entered the house. They gave him a glance, some more curious than others. Genis' wouldn't meet his eye, his face showed a lingering mixture of guilt and resentment still. Lloyd didn't look at him long either.

Removing his muddy boots, he manoeuvred through them, over to the stove. Removing his sodden vest and cloak, he hung them to dry on the old nail in the wall. It was a lot lower than he remembered...

He remained near the stove, stoking it as an awkward silence filled the room. They didn't know what to say now that their conversation had been interrupted. After all, you can't talk about a person if they are in the room. Still, the pitying silence aggravated him and he glared into the fire.

"It doesn't change anything," he said, flat and harsh. They would know what he was talking about.

"I think it does," Raine countered after a moment, watching him from her seat. "Or do you prefer to have us despise you?"

Lloyd didn't reply, only straightened and leaned his back against the wall, arms folded.

"Raine, leave him alone," Genis' said quietly.

They all glanced at the young half-elf, who scowled and looked at his mug of tea.

Lloyd turned his gaze to the fire. "Is Colette resting?"

"She lay down shortly after you and Genis went out." Presea informed him. "She was looking pale and probably was chilled from being outside." The young girl, tugged at the blanket slipping around Genis' shoulders, rubbing his back as the young half-elf shivered.

"Of course, you're stubbornness will have everyone sneezing and coughing from pneumonia if you continue to insist going outside in the rain." Raine frowned, standing. "You don't even have enough sense to remove your own wet clothes."

Lloyd just stared back at her, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards as he watched her face redden when she realized she was scolding him. It felt odd to hear that stern voice reprimanding him for something trivial again. Still, Lloyd made no move to take her advice. "My immune system is much stronger than others now. I won't get sick."

The red flushed her cheeks more as she folded her arms. "Well isn't that convenient. So in the meantime, the rest of us can."

"He's just pressing your buttons." Zelos said and tilted back in his chair, arms folded behind his head. Lloyd ignored the cocky smirk on the Tethe'allan's face and returned his gaze to the stove.

"I'm well aware of what he's doing, Zelos," Raine countered irritably, but strangely backed off. It was something Lloyd had noticed about his old teacher. She still insistently nagged, but with no real authoritative demands behind it...

Sheena stretched from her seat on the floor, Corrine's small bell tinkling as he twisted his head up to look at her. The young woman yawned and stood. "Well this dreary weather is making me tired." She glanced out the window. "Zelos, if we are going to make it to the inn tonight, we should leave."

"Aw, but Sheena it's raining." The chair thudding as he plopped forward. "Can't we just hang out here?"

"And sleep where exactly?" Lloyd cut in.

Zelos glanced him in annoyance, eyeing him over before shrugging. A cool smile slipped onto his face. "Could ask the same for you, Bud."

"I don't need to sleep."

His response led to another awkward silence and Lloyd just leaned back against the wall, staring at nothing. He couldn't tell what they were thinking. He preferred it that way. It didn't matter.

Gradually Sheena stood up. "Come on, Zelos. We'll come back in the morning."

The swordsman let his gaze linger on Lloyd a moment longer before he allowed a stiff smile spread, pushing himself up. "Alright, Hunny."

Sheena rolled her eyes at the name, shoving him a bit as she walked past, Corrine perched up on her shoulder. Zelos smiled and helped her into her cloak; however, judging by the loud slap a moment later, Lloyd figured he had tried to feel her up as well.

He shook his head, sighing.

As the odd couple left, Lloyd turned his attention towards the Sages and Presea still seated at the table. Raine was still eyeing him, her stern gaze meeting his indifference. It irritated her no doubt.

"Are you staying then?" Raine asked the moment he made eye contact with him.

"Depends."

"On what exactly?" His old teacher folded her arms, twisting in her chair.

Lloyd didn't bother answering. He knew when she was digging. His eyes drifted to the window, gazing out the rain, splattered glass, the darkness encroaching into the clearing. Beyond he caught the last glimpses of Zelos and Sheena vanishing over the bridge.

"Lloyd, don't ignore me." Raine's voice rose slightly. The irritation was there again.

Turning his head slightly, he gave her a long look. "I'm not ignoring you."

"Don't patronize me, Lloyd," Raine countered stiffly, rising from her seat. "You'll have to sleep on the floor down here with the rest of us, if you are staying."

"I recall saying I don't sleep." Lloyd pushed off from the wall and felt his vest still hanging. It was still damp.

Raine seemed to bite off another remark before striding stiffly up the stairs, muttering something about checking on Colette. Lloyd's gaze followed her until she disappeared from view, before dropping it to catch Genis' eye.

"Why do you do that?" He sounded tense and stiff. It was as if Genis didn't know how he wanted to react with Lloyd anymore. There was no forgiveness yet, but Lloyd felt as if the young half-elf was struggling with his stance even more now.

"Do what?" Lloyd replied.

"Forget it," Genis muttered, frowning into his mug.

"Very well."

"You're an ass, you know that?"

"Am I?"

"Yeah, you are."

"Hmm..."

"Is that all you can say?"

"Probably not."

"Jerk," Genis scowled and turned his head, but he couldn't hide the smirk on his face. Lloyd wasn't sure what to make of it, but he found himself smirking as well.

While the pair bickered, Presea had risen, finished clearing the dishes into the sink and now approached Lloyd, carrying a couple of mats. "It'll be more comfortable to sleep near the stove. If you don't mind moving, so I can prepare the bedding."

Lloyd looked down into her smoky, blue eyes for a moment, before stepping around the smaller girl, taking his vest with him off the wall. The rain was still drizzling outside and Lloyd was reluctant to leave the warmth of the house. Still, he considered it, nevertheless, as Genis glared sulkily at him as Lloyd draped the vest over the back of a chair and sat down.

"Wow, you actually aren't leaving?"

"It's raining."

"You didn't care about that earlier."

"That was earlier."

"What's the difference?" Genis asked with a frown.

"I don't care to get wet again."

Genis scoffed, but he didn't look away. They studied each other silently, listening to Presea as she laid out a sleeping area. The anger was gone—or hidden—and Lloyd didn't know what to think about it. It was strange to be sitting a couple feet from Genis and not having him shouting and demanding answers. Perhaps Colette had been right. Perhaps just answering some of Genis' questions was enough.

Though...

Lloyd really hadn't told Genis much about what happened. He still wasn't ready to tell that story and Genis wasn't ready to hear it. However, it seemed Lloyd's confession about his orders to retrieve Colette had been enough to calm the rash teen. Lloyd wasn't a threat anymore. Or, at least, not really. They didn't trust him. Genis didn't trust him, but in the last few minutes, Lloyd found himself surprised that a somewhat bitter nostalgia remained between the two. Or maybe he wasn't surprised...maybe he was just...

"You'll be leaving again soon, won't you?"

Lloyd shifted his gaze onto Genis. The young half-elf rotated the mug in his hands, his mouth a hard, thin line while his eyes held desperation.

"I will," Lloyd replied neutrally. He would, even though he really didn't want to...

"Why?"

No accusation, no anger. Genis stared at him in a way that iced Lloyd's blood. It was that stare. The stare from back then. The stare Genis would give him if he was uncertain or frightened, though he would never say he was, never in front of Lloyd. But Lloyd knew those begging eyes. Lloyd knew when something had gone too far and knew when Genis was no longer having fun. It was after those eyes that Lloyd would give him a smile and act as if he was bored with the idea and ask Genis what he wanted to do. He never liked scaring Genis. He still didn't.

And now those eyes stared at him. Frightened. Frightened of another betrayal, frightened of what he would say. But it wasn't a game, and Lloyd couldn't just change the rules or let Genis pick a new one. This was reality and Lloyd learned over the years, reality didn't care if you were scared or not.

"Because I have to, Genis," he spoke quietly, never breaking eye contact.

Genis' expression changed drastically, the anger returned, but he seemed to contain it and turned away, rising from his chair. "Of course."

The conversation died. Genis walked over and laid down on one of the pallets, wrapping himself in a blanket with his back to Lloyd.

Presea stood near Genis and turned, fixating Lloyd with an unreadable expression. Lloyd frowned and pushed his chair back, not even bothering with his still damp vest as he left the house.

* * *

Noishe didn't even bother lifting his head to greet Lloyd, instead settling for a soft growl, muzzle tucked snugly beneath is tail, curled against the dampness. Lloyd smiled weakly at the sulking protozoan and took one of the extra blankets from the shelves, draping it around the large form. Noishe whined in appreciation, but still didn't uncurl.

Knowing he'd get no companionship from the creature, Lloyd pulled one of the crates over beside Noishe, seating himself upon it. Noishe twitched his ears in annoyance, growling again, but Lloyd ignored him.

Outside the lean-to, the rain pattered relentlessly on the forest. Lloyd could hear the creek rushing along, knowing that it'll be much higher if the rain didn't let up soon. He couldn't remember the last time the creek had flooded its banks. He knew it had once, when he was younger. He had gone outside in the pouring rain splashing in the soggy grass until Dirk hollered at him to get inside.

A brief image of Dirk flickered across his memory, the stern, gruff, expression. Lloyd shook his head and lifted his eyes to the misty haze rising. He couldn't face him. Not right now...

Still, the memories lingered and Lloyd rose restlessly moving to the shelves. He stared at the contents before casting his eye around, settling on a long piece of wood. It was a piece of branch, about as long as his arm and slightly thicker. Noishe' had clearly been gnawing on it; nevertheless, Lloyd picked it up, returning to his seat and slipping a small knife from his boot.

Lloyd wondered what Dirk would say to him, if the old dwarf knew how twisted around his adopted son had become. Lloyd was ashamed of himself, but he couldn't be certain if Dirk would feel that way. Disappointment, perhaps, but Dirk was never pessimistic. He wouldn't see Lloyd's decisions as wrong, or false. Just the mistakes of a foolish young child. However, Lloyd was no longer a child...

Lloyd watching distractedly as his knife carefully peeled away the bark, forcing his thoughts to quiet. He listened to the rain tapping about the lean-to and the rough, deep breaths of the protozoan near his feet.

He wasn't surprised when he heard the door close and light footsteps swishing against the wet grass. There was a pause as the person stood in the entrance and Lloyd cast a half-glance towards them.

Presea carefully shook out her cloak before draping it back around her shoulders, stepping into the lean-to. She turned her eyes to catch Lloyd's, but he had already looked back to the branch he was whittling. The young girl said nothing, save stepped over to another crate, pulling it not quite beside Lloyd, but at an angle. She left a comfortable distance between them as she settled down herself and produced her own knife and piece of wood.

Lloyd lifted his gaze, noticing her carving was already partially made, a faint outline of some animal in the makings. He glanced at her face, but she was focused on the carving in her hands. Her small knife glided smoothly across the wood and already a little pile of shavings was forming at her feet.

A slight twitch in the corner of his mouth, Lloyd returned his gaze to his own deftly moving hands.

The rain diminished to a misting drizzle as they sat in the lean-to, Noishe's quiet huffs and growls the only sound within the shed. Though Lloyd didn't mind the silence, he felt the impatient curiosity wearing on him. Presea never gave him a second-glance the entire time they had been out there and Lloyd wondered why she had come out in the first place.

As soon as those thoughts materialized, Presea shifted in her seat and spoke, not raising her gaze.

"What do you think it'll be?"

Lloyd paused, the knife braced on the edge of the wood, then smirked before letting it shave off the corner. "I'm not sure."

"Do you have an idea?" Her soft voice never changing its tone, with a hint of curiosity in it. Another shaving curled and fell at her feet.

"Not really. It never turns out to be what you originally think, anyway. It's simpler to let it happen."

"You must still be curious." Presea ventured. Another shaving curled around

Lloyd hesitated, twisting the wood in his hand thoughtfully, eyeing the smooth surface, before letting the knife slide again. "Perhaps a little."

There was another moment of silence, nothing but the shicking of metal on wood and a quiet growl from Noishe.

"Will you be disappointed if it doesn't turn out how you wish?"

"I remember stating I didn't have a specific idea in mind."

"I think you do, you just are uncertain if it's what you want."

Lloyd hesitated, casting a small glance at her before returning his eyes to the blade. "Uncertainty isn't a fault, simply an obstacle."

"Or simply caution."

"Yes, I suppose caution."

Presea paused, but Lloyd didn't look at her, focusing on rounding out the top of his carving, gliding the knife around it.

"Caution of what?" she asked

"Disappointment I suppose. If you don't anticipate, you aren't disappointed."

"Would you be disappointed though, if it wasn't what you expected?"

Lloyd considered then shook his head, small smirk. "No, I suppose I wouldn't."

"Then why are you afraid to choose?" the question came softly and Lloyd paused, noticing she still watched him.

"I assume it's because it doesn't matter what the outcome is. It's something I created; regardless of how it turns out, it's still mine."

From the corner of his eye Lloyd caught a smile on her face. "You will make a good father, Lloyd," she said, rising from her seat.

Lloyd paused, then looked up sharply as she returned the crate. He hesitated then stated flatly. "We were talking about the child."

Presea stopped and turned to look at him. Something akin to confusion flickered across her face as she looked at him. Her eyes lowered briefly to the carving in his hand and then back. She smiled softly. "Of course."

"You know?"

"I know."

Lloyd hesitated, lowering his hands. "How?"

Presea smiled softly again, pulling the hood up over her head. "I learned to read emotions, Lloyd. And I can read yours." She paused, eyeing him. "You love her very much."

Lloyd eyed her silently as she turned to leave. He lowered his gaze, feeling strange. It was almost as if the pile of shavings on the ground wasn't from the wood, but himself and her knife had been peeling away his outer layer leaving him exposed.

"And Lloyd?"

He lifted his eyes again. Presea looked at him a moment then said as she left, "It's a rattle."

* * *

"You're awake."

Colette turned her head to the door, then smiled brightly. "Lloyd. You didn't leave."

"Not yet." He paused, then closed the door gently, walking over to her. "Are you feeling ill?"

She shook her head, stray loose hair from her ponytail bounced slightly. Lloyd reached up and tucked them behind her ear. She smiled again. "No, just tired mostly. Raine says that's normal."

Lloyd nodded, though Colette could see he was still anxious by the tightness in his face. "Lloyd is everything alright?"

"I talked with Genis."

Colette's heart skipped a beat and she looked at him concerned. "D...Did something happen?"

"If you are asking if we fought, then no. Nothing happened."

She sighed, relieved, studying his face. "Then what's wrong?"

"He pities me." His face twisted a bit, irritated. "I don't want pity."

"At least he's talking with you." Colette hesitated. She was overjoyed that Lloyd actually talked with Genis and that there was at least a bit of understanding between them. However, she wondered if it would only make things even tenser. She didn't want that.

"Yes. We actually had a conversation last night without him shouting at me." His tone was mocking, but Colette thought she saw a flicker of a smile on his face.

She smiled gently and pulled back the covers of the bedding, slipping out of the bed. She felt Lloyd's eyes on her and she turned to meet his gaze. "What?"

"I did not say anything."

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked, walking over to the dresser, pulling out some clothes. She didn't hesitate as she undressed and pulled on the clothes, perfectly aware Lloyd was watching her. Or perhaps he looked away. She flushed slightly, but she didn't feel uncomfortable...

She smiled a bit, feeling the ring on her finger. She always wore it now, when she was alone. It comforted her when he was away. The idea that they were engaged tickled her inside. It still seemed surreal and as did the concept of being a mother. But the ring was on her finger and the swell on her belly, both proof that this wasn't a dream.

Dressed, she turned around to face him, tugging the ponytail loose and took a brush to her long hair. Lloyd glanced aside as soon as she looked at him and she smiled again, coming to sit beside him.

"You didn't answer my question."

"About what?"

"The look." She said, tugging at a couple of knots.

"I wasn't aware I had a—"

"You are a horrible liar, you know that?" She smiled at him, a slight giggle in her voice. She lowered her brush and touched his cheek gently. "Lloyd, I love you."

Lloyd's brow furrowed suddenly with concern, but she quickly put her hand to his mouth, still smiling. "No, I'm alright. I just wanted to...to say it again."

His puzzled expression made her giggle and she kissed his cheek before shifting a bit and tied her hair back. He was watching her again and she could tell he was thinking hard about something. She didn't press him. She knew he would speak when he was ready.

"Why would I make a...good father?" he asked finally and she turned looking at him. He seemed a little confused, perhaps even a bit embarrassed.

"Why wouldn't you?" she countered, sighing rubbing her belly gently.

"I know nothing about being a father."

"I'm sure it's the same way for every new father."

"Hmm..." He didn't sound convinced.

Colette bit her lip then reached over taking his hand. "Lloyd, what's wrong?"

He sighed heavily, slipping his hand from hers and rising from the bed. "Presea knows."

Colette watched him walk over to the window, a deep frown on his face. She sighed too and stood awkwardly, following him. "I know."

"You told her?"

"No, I think she just figured it out." Colette smiled, slipping her arms around his, leaning against him, looking out the window too. "She notices a lot of things. Especially about you."

"I see. You didn't think to inform me of this?"

"I guess not. They are all going to find out eventually, aren't they?"

"I suppose they are." He frowned then fumbled at his belt. "Here."

Colette's eyes widen slight as he placed a small wooden rattle in her hands. It was painted a light blue with a white handle. The handle itself was carefully carved, the perfect size for a small fist to wrap around. Around the ball of the head, little engravings encircled. One she made out to look like Noishe's shape, curled around. She shook it gently, the rattle of little pebbles inside answering.

"You made this?" she smiled brightly.

"I did."

"It's adorable. The baby will love it." She shook it again and looked up at him. He made a dismissive grunt and looked away. She could see the flush on his cheeks. "Thank you, Lloyd." She kissed his cheek.

"When I have time, I'll fashion a crib as well. For the baby." He added as if it wasn't obvious.

Colette smiled softly and leaned against him, holding his arm. "That'll be great." She paused, thinking. "Lloyd, I know now isn't a good time, but the room will be a little crowded once..."

Lloyd frowned slightly, then nodded. "I had anticipated that. I believe I can build an additional room above Noishe's pen. When I have the time..." he trailed off with a sigh, rubbing his face. "I should make more time."

"You're busy with Cruxis." Colette rubbed his arm gently. "I understand."

"You shouldn't have to. I should be here. With you and the-..." He lowered his eyes to her stomach then slowly lifts his hand. He hesitated, his brow furrowing uncertainly.

Colette slipped one hand over his and place it on her stomach. A flush spread to his cheeks again and Colette smiled as his large hand laid on her belly. "I love, Lloyd. And I know you'll be a great father."

Lloyd lifted his eyes to hers. His other hand cupped her cheek and he kissed her gently. "I will make this right, Colette. Somehow, I'll make this work."

She smiled happily up at him. "I know."

* * *

"What do you make of him?"

Zelos glanced over at Sheena. She stood near the bed, arms hugging her body anxiously. She looked very vulnerable. She always had.

"He's an ass, for one."

"Zelos—!"

"You asked. And I'm just being honest. If that was me, you'd be beating the crap out of me by now." His didn't bother trying to be funny. It never seemed to work with Sheena anyway and he didn't want to upset her more. Lloyd already did that enough.

Sheena glared at him, then sighed shaking her head. "We're not talking about you, Zelos. This is Lloyd. I'm so frustrated."

"What's so special about this guy, huh?" Zelos frowned twisting in his chair. "For the last few days all I've heard is you complaining about Lloyd this and Lloyd that. People change Sheena. Obviously this guy went downhill."

Sheena snapped her head around fists clenched. "Stop it, Zelos!"

He frowned, eyeing her then shrugged and looked aside. He was pissed. And that was putting it lightly. He knew Lloyd, however briefly. The young country bumpkin had his head so far in the clouds Zelos dismissed him almost immediately. But the kid had guts, even if he was a little stupid. Zelos remembered the way Lloyd had stood up to the Pope and royalty all those years ago. Lloyd didn't really seem to care that he was addressing the highest standing people in the world. Zelos admired that. Even if he was stupid.

But Sheena had known the kid longer than him. He didn't know what sort of relationship they had, but Lloyd had spared her life, even though she had been trying to kill them. He knew that much, and that counted for something...

"Sheena. Listen, Babe. I didn't mean it," he sighed and stood up, walking to her.

She scowled at him and turned away walking to the window, hand on her hip. "He's hiding something from us, Zelos. Lloyd's not like that. Not at all. He hates it when people keep things inside."

"Then he's a hypocrite." Zelos shrugged, looking at her reflection in the window and then his own. _And so are you_, he told his reflection.

Sheena laughed sadly, rubbing her eye. "I know he is Zelos. And I know Lloyd knows that too. He used to try so hard to always do the right thing. I just don't understand what happened to him to have changed so much."

Zelos turned his face away, sighing. "Not like we can help him if he won't talk to us. It's his choice, Babe. You've offered your hand and he refused it. What more can you do?"

Sheena stared out the window quietly. "Something. Anything. Zelos..." She turned suddenly and looked up at him, her arms hugging herself again. Zelos looked down at her, locking eyes with her. He hated seeing her like this. Like the first time he met her. Quiet, shy girl, afraid to do anything. He knew it had to do with her past. She was capable of so much more.

He smiled and brushed her hair back. "Then beat it out of him, Sheena. You're good at that."

"What's that suppose to mean?" she scowled, but didn't slap his hand away. "I'll give you a beating."

Zelos chuckled and let his hand fall. She looked at him curiously, but he moved up beside her, staring out the window, watching the drizzling rain trickle down the pane.

"What are we doing here, Sheena?"

She looked up at him startled, then frowned. "We're here for Lloyd and Colette. What did you think we were doing here?"

Zelos didn't answer, only frowning more. It seemed ridiculous to him, but Sheena had been adamant about going to Sylvarant. Normally Zelos wouldn't care, but at the same time, he wasn't about to let Sheena head off again. Even though she had made a fuss about having to drag him along, he could tell she was grateful.

Things hadn't been easy for them over the past years. Tethe'alla was more like a prison for the two of them than a home. Zelos had tolerated the house arrest situation, but more than once he had gotten visits from Pronyma, once again offering him to spy for Cruxis. It made him sick to admit that he had considered it for a few seconds. But he hadn't, the house arrest eliminated most of his problems anyway and at the moment, his sister was better off in the abbey where it was safe. Besides, after what happened that day, it wasn't like he could just forget...

"Zelos? What's wrong?" Sheena touched his arm gently, turning him to look at her. "You always get that look. What are you thinking about?" she frowned.

_The day I betrayed you.  
_"Just the day I met you, Babe." He smiled playfully. "Couldn't believe how flat you were."

Sheena scowled and slapped his arm. "You are such a liar. I don't know why I put up with you." She turned and walked over to the curtain to undress. "And don't even think about peeking, you perv. It's bad enough we have to share a room."

Zelos chuckled stretching out on the bed, eyeing her shadow through the simple, stand up curtain. He watched her moving around, undressing before turning his eyes back to the window. Something needed to happen. Something would happen. Zelos could feel it encroaching upon them. He hated being in this situation. He didn't like losing and, like an idiot, he had forsaken his other opportunities.

His eyes glanced back at the curtain with a faint smile. Of course, he had reasons behind it. Guilt was only one of them...

"I'm happy for Colette." Sheena stepped out in simple slacks and a shirt, sitting cross legged on the bed next to him.

"Why?" Zelos glanced at her.

"Well, she's pregnant." Sheena smiled, tugging her hair loose and shaking it out. "I mean...she always believed she would never get to. She was supposed to die at sixteen, Zelos. You know that."

"Yeah, not like I could forget." He frowned, looking upwards. "But she's got to raise that kid alone and avoid Cruxis and not to mention Lloyd's emotional drama. I wouldn't call her exactly lucky. And I don't envy her."

Sheena frowned a bit then sighed. "I suppose your right. It's just... Everything is moving so fast. It's been seven years, Zelos and it feels like...all of us are just stuck in this time frame. We can't move back, but we can't move on either. It-It just seems like Colette's finally taking a step forward, you know? She's going to be a mother, have a child."

Zelos glanced at her curiously, noting the almost, jealous tone Sheena spoke with. "You want kids?"

Her face flushed brightly and she scowled at him, giving him a kick. "I-...Well- It's an idea! I mean...wouldn't you? Some day want kids?" He anger faded gradually, her voice softening as she waited for his answer.

"Noisy little brats? Nah, who would? I mean, it'd be such a pain in the neck." He shrugged, but held her gaze for a long time.

"Should have known," she muttered, glancing aside.

"Do you really think now would be a good idea for even considering it, Sheena? With all this crap going on?"

"I know, I know. I'm not stupid. It's just I'm already twenty-six, Zelos. I feel like I'm running out of time. We don't know how long this conflict with Cruxis will continue and they haven't bothered us much in the last couple of years."

_Bothered me, not you_.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Thing is Sheena, you'd have to find yourself I man that'd want to settle down with an old woman like you." His lips twisted to a smirk, scratching his neck.

"Oh shut up, you stupid idiot." She shoved him off the bed. "You can sleep on the floor for that!"

Zelos grimaced a bit, rubbing his elbow, but laughed. "Aw, Sheena, Babe. Don't you want to cuddle?"

"Don't make me kick you out into the hall!"

Zelos chuckled, but let it drop as Sheena slipped under the covers, her back to him. He propped himself up, looking at her for a moment.

Kids. Suppose he couldn't blame her. All women think about kids at some point. He rubbed his face, pushing himself up and blowing out the candle on the nightstand, standing in the darkness. He turned to look at the window, the rain still falling gently outside.

Lloyd was a fool. But Zelos wasn't much better either. Telling the truth was never easy, especially for traitors. Zelos couldn't blame Lloyd really, for lying and keeping secrets, not when he had done—is doing the same thing. He wasn't sure who all had figured it out, or if it was just this unspoken fact among everyone. Sheena didn't know. He wasn't sure about the younger two, Genis and Presea, but he was positive Raine was suspicious.

Still, Zelos wouldn't say anything about Colette's kid. Lloyd kept Zelos' secret, he could do the same for Lloyd. It'd come out eventually and it really wasn't Zelos' problem. It just pissed him off a bit that Lloyd showed indifference towards his own child, even if he thought he was protecting it. Then again, Zelos didn't know the whole story...

His eyes strayed to Sheena, looking her over. Things were complicated, he knew that and like Lloyd, he wouldn't want to drag a kid into this mess. But, afterwards...he supposed it was a possibility. A little brat to teach all his skills too; a miniature chick-magnet.

He smirked.

Yeah. If he ever did have a kid, he wouldn't reject it. Not like some parents. Not like his...Kids were brats, but they could be fun too.

He sighed quietly and walked back towards the bed, lifting the blankets as he slipped in beside Sheena. She murmured, "Just behave yourself, or you'll be back on the floor."

Zelos smiled gently and draped an arm over her, chuckling into her soft hair. "Sure, Babe. Whatever you say."

Sheena snuggled a bit against his arm, giving a quiet sigh. Zelos stroked her arm a bit, then laid his head down, falling asleep to the tapping rain.

**Please Review.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Listening to **Someday by Nickelback**. Good song.  
Well, it's been a long week. Between basements flooding, lack of sleep, work and just general fried nerves, I haven't written as much as I would like. But I am sneaking in moments during work and my breaks, so I'm hoping to catch up some. Anyway, thank you all for the awesome reviews. Everyone of them makes my day. I hope you enjoy the chapter. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 28:**

"You knew he was alive."

"I think that much is obvious." Yuan sighed.

Genis scowled, folding his arms defensively. Yuan considered the young boy thoughtfully. He had been expecting another visit from Raine, not her brother. Truthfully, he was a little disappointed. It had been a quite a while since Raine had paid him a visit. He could honestly say he missed her intolerable attitude and arguments. However, Genis' visit could prove interesting as well...

"Why didn't you tell us? Or help break him out? Or—"

"Or what, Genis?" Yuan raised an eyebrow. "Do you think I spend my time babysitting young reckless teenagers, who get themselves into trouble?"

"You were the one who captured him!"

"Ah, right you were there," Yuan muttered. "However, if you must know, it wasn't my plan to take him to Cruxis. I hardly think having Lloyd there benefits the Renegades at all."

"Then why did you?"

"I didn't. Kratos did."

Genis scowled at the name, hesitating. "I still blame you. You set the trap that made it happen. You should have done something to fix it."

Yuan sighed again, rubbing his head. "And what did you expect me to do? It had already happened."

"You could have brought him back!" Genis shouted.

"And what if he didn't want that?" Yuan frowned at him.

Genis flinched, pulling back slightly, his expression twisting. Yuan knew he had hit a sore mark. Obviously, the boy's silence meant he knew about the situation. Lloyd must have spoken with him after all.

"S-Since when have you ever cared about what people want?" Genis tried to regain his stance. Yuan had to hand it to the boy, he definitely had his sister's stubbornness. Just a bit too dramatic.

"I don't. Normally."

"Then why couldn't you have—"

"You've talked to him, haven't you?"

Genis choked on his words, swallowing his tongue.

Yuan smirked and leaned back. "Not quite how you remember him, is he?"

Anger flushed Genis' pale skin. "Shut up."

"If you ask me, it's a slight improvement. Of course, he's a little too serious. But I suppose that goes with—"

"Shut the hell up, Yuan!"

Tense silence erupted as the two half-elves looked at one another. Genis shook with rage and guilt, while Yuan watched on calmly. No, it had to have been more than a single meeting. Genis was in far too much control of his emotions, considering the situation. Lloyd must have met up with Genis more than once. But why?

Yuan frowned slightly. Lloyd wouldn't break that easily. He wouldn't even talk to his father. Yuan found it hard to believe that Lloyd would suddenly just open up and break his own oath to go back. And it was obvious that Genis didn't know everything, so Lloyd was still holding back. Something else was in play here. Someone else was linking Lloyd to the others. Raine's absence and Genis' demand for answers...

"Why didn't Lloyd want to come back?" Genis asked through clenched teeth.

"Hasn't he told you?"

There was that hesitation. "I'm asking you."

"And I say ask him. Or is it..." Yuan smirked. "He won't tell you?"

Genis practically snarled at him, his knuckles white, his eyes flashing. "It doesn't matter!"

"I think it does. Lloyd is the one that made the choice, so naturally he'd be the one to answer your question. Unless, of course, he refuses, which I'm almost one hundred percent certain he would."

"Don't act like you know him—"

"Oh, because you know him better than I do?"

Genis flinched, his retort caught in his throat. Pain welled up in his face and eyes and Yuan sighed. "Genis, Lloyd has grown up. I think you have forgotten that. It's time you realize he makes his decisions for a reason and knows full well the effect they will have." Genis started to argue, but Yuan cut him off. "If he wanted you to know his reasons, he would tell you."

Genis bit his lip, turning his face to the side. The hurt was so obvious and Yuan watched him solemnly for once. "He won't tell me. That's why I asked you—"

"You should give him a chance—"

"I have! It's only because of Colette that he has told me as much as he did!" The tears welled up and he turned his face to the side, missing Yuan's stunned expression. "It's like he doesn't even care about me..."

Colette...the Chosen. Yuan frowned a bit, silent as the boy attempted to recover himself. Yuan smirked, rubbing his mouth as he leaned back. "Clever, Lloyd," he murmured to himself, eyeing Genis. The young half-elf didn't even seem to notice his slip, but Yuan was content to keep it that way. He didn't want to give Lloyd or...Colette, for that matter, the opportunity to interfere more.

Yuan quickly hid his amusement, eyeing Genis. "Well, I'm sure if you give him more time. Something will...slip and you'll learn what you need to know." He smirked a bit, despite himself.

Genis scowled at him. "I can see why Raine hates you. You just talk in circles. You aren't even helpful."

"Is that what she says?" Yuan raised an eyebrow.

"No exactly, but I can see why she always comes back flustered." Genis narrowed his eyes, before hesitating. "I just want to know if he...Forget it," he murmured then turned to leave.

Yuan studied him a bit before sighing. "He did miss you. If you were wondering. Though that's just my observation." He leaned forward, busying himself sorting through papers. Even still, Yuan caught the small, weak smile on the boy's face before he silently left.

Pausing, Yuan lifted his head, frowning at the closed door. There was more to this. There had to be. It was about time he figured out what sort of trouble Lloyd had been getting into all this time.

* * *

"You could go see her if you wish?"

"And you know very well that I can't. Don't bring it up in public."

His father sighed, but conceded. Lloyd cast a furtive eye on the people meandering Palmacosta's Market. He couldn't place any of the faces around him, but that meant little. They had influenced his own life little; however, he had been slightly more memorable as a teenager in this town due to his conflict with the Desians. It'd be easy for people to recognize him here.

"Why are we here again?" he sighed.

"To find the young Chosen's new location. The small hamlet is just north of here. Unnamed town yet, but with the new Desian Cardinal's periodic appearance in the city, many of the folk have taken—"

"In other, words you are wasting time here since you already know." Lloyd cut him off, a slight frown. "Of all the cities to choose, Palmacosta is—"

"No different than any other city in Sylvarant." Kratos interjected with a look. "Regardless of which city you enter, there is always that chance of recognition. You made sure of that years ago."

Lloyd didn't appreciate his father's bittersweet sarcasm, but allowed it nevertheless. It had been Lloyd's fault his reputation had left a mark throughout the world. He just hoped his confrontation with the Cardinal Magnius had dwindled away in people's memories over the years.

Kratos led the way through the streets, both men catching a few by-passers' attention as they cut through the crowd. Despite the continuous state of decline for Sylvarant, Palmacosta seemed to have flourished. Residential homes spread out of the mainland, stretching the city's entrance further from the water. Both the governmental buildings and port stretched their reaches out as well, making Palmacosta more definitely the largest city on Sylvarant.

However, it was still clear the state of the world would never measure up to Tethe'alla's. Technological advancements had more or less halted since Colette's apparent failure. Everything about Palmacosta clashed in stark contrast with Meltokio's flourish and wealth. The mundane lifestyle, however, fed Lloyd's hunger for simplicity. Away from the hum of computers and false lights of Welgaia and Meltokio's flamboyant use of technology, Lloyd felt more at home here in Palmacosta. He found it odd at first, having lived on Derris Kharlan for so many years; he wouldn't have thought he'd find comfort in the loud, bustling crowds of common folk again.

His eyes wandered indifferently over the strange faces. One or two jarred a faint, unimportant memory, but it flickered and sputtered like a dying spark only to wink out. None of them were important to him. It had served him no purpose to recall a random face in the crowd, so he did not try. He only hoped they wouldn't recall him.

Kratos led him towards a small, unrecognizable pub near the canal. Lloyd made a dismissive noise, but Kratos just jerked his head and pushed through the door. Lloyd followed him, but he laid bare his obvious annoyance with his father.

Choosing a small table in the corner, the two men seated themselves and Lloyd leaned forward, his voice low. "Is Yuan driving you to the drink again, Dad?"

Kratos made a small grunt, but signalled a young boy with a gesture. Lloyd glanced to see the boy nod and slip around behind the bar. He couldn't have been more than fifteen or sixteen...

"It's not Yuan. It's you." Kratos turned his hollowed eyes onto his son. Lloyd leaned back carefully, a frown playing on his face.

"Me? Tch. The day I stress you out more than Yuan is—"

"Now."

Lloyd closed his mouth, eyeing his father uncertainly. "Why?"

Kratos sighed heavily and looked away, leaving Lloyd's question to hang.

Lloyd knew the game, it was one Kratos used to teach him to problem solve for himself during

studies. However, this time, Lloyd wasn't in the mood to play along. He frowned, his eyes studying his father's face. "Dad, I know it involves my recent endeavours; however, I won't—"

"How's Colette faring?"

Russet eyes flashed angrily, yet, Kratos met the glare evenly. "I told you I didn't want to discuss this in public. Now let it—"

"It's a simple question."

Lloyd growled softly and looked away. "She's fine."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, now—"

"Lloyd, it's been over a month since you've last seen her." Kratos cut him off, frowning. "And don't pretend you haven't realized it."

Refusing to meet his father's eyes, Lloyd stared at a couple of young men joking loudly a few tables over. He let their loud, slurred voices steal his attention, without really listening to their conversation.

"I've visited during the month."

"Only twice."

Lloyd frowned, glancing at the elder man, taking in the concerned look. "Dad, you know I can't risk it anymore than that." He looked away, studying the swerving grain of the table top. "Yggdrasill is already growing suspicious of me and didn't you say he's doubting your reports now?"

"So you are just going to avoid her then?"

"Of course not!" Lloyd snapped, glaring at him. Kratos didn't bat an eye, but he leaned back as the boy returned with two frothing mugs. Kratos passed him a few gald coins. The young man grinning at the large tip.

"Thank you, Sirs." He quickly set the mugs before them, pocketing the gald. He lifted his eyes, meeting Lloyd's. Lloyd held it for a moment, taking in the mop of brown hair and large naive brown eyes. Something akin to wonderment and uncertainty flickered through the boy's eyes; however, Lloyd turned his gaze away, clearly dismissing the lad.

Even still the boy seemed to linger a moment longer before quickly darting back to the counter. Lloyd turned his irritation onto his father only to find his father staring after the young boy.

"I'm not avoiding her. I just have to figure out a way to see her without endangering her." Lloyd took back his father's attention. "I don't like staying from her, you know that."

"Lloyd, Yggdrasill is not a fool. The chances that he's playing along with this charade are extremely high. He no longer has me scouting Iselia and the nearby cities," Kratos said seriously, looking back at him.

Feeling his stomach grow cold, Lloyd narrowed his eyes. "Then who has he replaced you with?"

"Who else, but Pronyma?" Kratos answered, stiffly.

Lloyd swore and sat back, rubbing his face. "She'll dig for any clue to gain his appreciation. That wench is going to find Colette and—"

"Not if you have her moved." Kratos interjected quietly.

"You know she won't do that."

"She'll do it for the child."

Lloyd stopped and leaned back into his chair, conflicted.

The child, their child. He chewed his lip, knowing Kratos was right. Colette needed to leave that old house. She was nearly five months pregnant already. She couldn't defend herself in her current condition and the others couldn't stand up to Pronyma and win. Even if Pronyma didn't obtain Colette, she'd return to Cruxis and Yggdrasill would have angels at the doorstep—

"Where?" Lloyd lifted his head, the question desperately directed at his father.

Kratos hesitated, but took a long drink for him mug before looking back at Lloyd. "Luin."

He flinched and frowned. "Luin. Dad, that's her area now. She replaced Kvar and did you forget that the city was destroyed—"

"Due to a considerable number of donations, Luin is now only second to Palmacosta in the most well defended city. The lake city has been refortified considerably and it would take a sizeable attack to break its defences, even by Pronyma."

Staring at his father, Lloyd noticed the slight embarrassment rising on his father's cheeks. "You...rebuilt the city."

"I did not rebuild it, so much as gave them the means to do so," Kratos corrected him stiffly.

Lloyd closed his eyes. Being the birthplace of his mother, Lloyd knew how much Kratos cared for the small lake city. The horror on his father's face had been obvious when Kvar's men had devastated Luin during the Journey of Regeneration, but it had been lost with everyone else's shock. Only now, could Lloyd look back and recall those small hints to his past...

"Why would you want to risk the city's safety by having Colette there? If they found out she's there, Cruxis will destroy it. Not to mention, the citizens wouldn't even allow her into—"

"I would because she carries my grandchild." Kratos cut him off. "Besides, Luin is currently harbouring a number of ranch escapees. With the Asgard Ranch rebuilt and operating again, the people of Luin have grown determined to protect those who manage to leave the Ranch. I'm sure the citizens will gladly protect her, considering many of the current residents are those you saved during Kvar's last raid."

Lloyd frowned deeply, an odd feeling stirring within him at the mention of the ranch survivors. "So Dirk managed to make them key-crests then," he said quietly.

"It would seem so."

Lloyd nodded absently, then sighed. "Alright...I'll let her know—"

"Today."

"You know I can't—"

"Today, Lloyd. Pronyma won't waste time ripping that area apart." Kratos frowned.

Lloyd sighed and took a long draught from his mug. The famous Palma Potion stung his throat as he gulped in down, feeling the warmth of the ale as it rested in his belly. He grimaced at the strong taste, never really caring for the taste of alcohol. Yuan often brought samples up from Tethe'alla for Kratos and himself, occasionally inviting Lloyd to have a couple. Lloyd discovered the bitter drink, though somewhat beneficial for foul moods, left him often regretting the foul taste whenever he woke up the next day. He was thankful for his reduced sense of taste on those days and cursed a few others...

"Excuse me, Sir." A soft meek voice cut into his thoughts and Lloyd lowered his mug and looked up to find the young serving boy fidgeting in front of him.

"What is it?" Lloyd asked, managing to keep irritation from his voice.

"I...I don't know if you remember me, Sir, or maybe I'm mistaken, but..." he glanced over to Kratos and renewed confidence flashed across the boy's face as he turned back to Lloyd. "Y-You're Lloyd Irving right? The warrior who stood up against the Desians and Magnius?"

Lloyd could only stare at the young man, his body rigged and mind blank. Lloyd glanced at his father desperately, but Kratos seemed indifferent to the revelation, instead eyeing the other tables.

"I wasn't sure at first. You looked so different now." The boy was smiling now, a large innocent grin, his brown eyes alight. "I guess it's been a few years now, though."

Lloyd forced himself to swallow his fear, knowing it'd be more disastrous to cause a scene. He raised his eyes to meet the boy's, leaving them empty and impassive, his expression hardened. "I'm afraid I don't know you."

The effect was almost instant. Confusion, then embarrassment crossed the boy's face. He stepped back a bit, suddenly hesitant. But after a quick glance at Kratos, he swallowed and forced the smile back on his face. "I...I guess you wouldn't. But I remember you. You saved my life after all." He rubbed the side of his neck sheepishly, a slight blush coloring his cheeks.

Lloyd frowned slightly, studying the boy. Saved his life? A quick glance at the boy's hands confirmed he wasn't a ranch escapee. His silence made the boy fidget again.

"Well, when Magnius tried to hang Cocoa, I was the one who threw those rocks at him. When he started coming at me, you...you stopped him."

The scene flashed across his memory and Lloyd's eyes widen slightly, recalling the incident. The young and foolish—yet brave—boy that defied the Grand Cardinal...

"I see." Lloyd stared at him, then looked away, pushing himself up. "Excuse me"

Disappointment wiped the smile from the boy's face.

"Lloyd," Kratos stated simply, eyeing him warningly.

He hesitated, narrowing his eyes on his father, knowing it was his doing. No one would recognize him if it wasn't for his father. Sighing, Lloyd turned to the boy, looking him over. "It was an extremely foolish thing to do."

Stunned, the boy looked up, slightly abashed, but Lloyd smirked slightly, closing his eyes. "But you saved that woman's life. You should remember that, instead of the stranger who saved yours." He brushed past him and left the pub, leaving the young boy staring after him wide eyed and grinning.

Lloyd didn't feel that excitement. He was distracted now by that string of memories as he walked down the city street. Cocoa, was what boy said the woman's name was. Lloyd frowned a bit, bringing up the image of a middle-aged woman with short brown hair and a blue dress. She had survived, he recalled. Colette had seen to that, slicing through the gallows' rope. But something about her, nagged at him. Something he was supposed to have done—

Something bumped into his leg and he stopped, looking down to see a tiny, ash blonde girl stumbling back and plopping onto the ground. Lloyd's eyes widened the instant he noticed the trademark Chosen's garments she wore, though slightly altered due to the city's design. A pair of large, green eyes lifted, horrified, to his face.

"Oh!" Two little hands lifted to cover the open mouth and the expression of guilt and surprise made Lloyd's heart stop cold. Colette...

"I'm sorry! I bumped into you." The young voice sounded odd to Lloyd's ears and he merely stared down at her as she twisted her little body and pushed herself up. She carefully dusted herself off as an elderly priest and young woman rushed through the crowd.

"Chosen! There you are." The priest breathed in relief and the young girl twisted to look at the approaching adults. The woman knelt and gently scolded the girl for wandering off, dusting her clothes and brushing her hair back.

Lloyd watched the two, noticing how pale the young woman looked. How gaunt her features look and the dark circles under her eyes. She smiled as she talked to the child, but Lloyd noticed as well how unresponsive the child seemed. She lacked the spark all young children have, her round, small face too serious. He assumed she had just turned six...

"I bumped into the man, Mommy." She twisted her head to look at Lloyd, and he realized how sad her eyes looked. "I said sorry. Was that right?"

The mother smiled softly, stroking the young girl's hair. "Of course." The woman lifted her eyes to Lloyd and a sad, tired smile spread on her tense features. "We're sorry for disturbing you, Sir."

Lloyd held her gaze, eyes narrowing slightly as they passed onto the priest, who watched him with some suspicion. Dropping his eyes to the young girl, Lloyd stepped towards her, causing her to pull back against her mother slightly. Kneeling down, Lloyd looked directly at the young Chosen.

"What's your name?"

"This is the new Chosen—" the priest began, but Lloyd glared up at him.

"I did not ask you. Let her answer for herself." His tone stunned the priest and Lloyd turned back to the young girl. Lloyd knew the man wouldn't interfere again.

The little Chosen tilted her head up to look at her mother, who eyed Lloyd uncertainly, then smiled and nodded to her daughter. "It's alright."

A little shy, the girl looked back at Lloyd, gripping her mother's hand. "Natalie."

Lloyd searched her sad little face, noticing her curiosity with having this strange man talking to her. Lloyd sighed gently, then let a small smile spread on his lips. "Natalie, you don't need to be scared of growing older, do you understand?"

The green eyes widened and she looked up at her mother panicked, but Lloyd lifted a hand and laid it on the top of her head. Natalie stopped and looked back up at him, blinking. Lloyd smiled slightly. "I promise you will live a long life with your friends and family." He ruffled her hair gently, then pulled his hand back and stood. He ignored the stunned expression of the mother and the priest.

Lloyd listened as he walked away, aware that he had created a small curious crowd. But even with their mutterings, he heard little Natalie clearly.

"Momma? Was that the guardian angel the priests talked about?"

Lloyd could almost picture the mother staring at his back, confused and uncertain. "He's just a nice man, Natalie. Come on, let's go to the church."

A few curious eyes followed Lloyd's departure, but eventually they lost interest and the onlookers continued on their way, save one. Lloyd lifted his gaze and spotted Kratos leaning against a building. They locked eyes, but Lloyd didn't wait for him, rather he kept walking.

Kratos caught up with him easily enough and they paused, moving to the side of the street. Lloyd stared at the pass-byers blankly.

"And you accuse me of drawing attention." Kratos stated finally, glancing at him. "What was your reason for doing that?"

"She knew."

"What makes you say that?" Kratos asked.

Lloyd paused for a moment, watching a pair of kids playing along the canal. "Because I saw no child in those eyes. She was already dead." Lloyd glanced at his father bitterly. "As was her mother...inside. She is only six and she knows she will die in ten years..."

Kratos sighed quietly and closed his eyes. "So you make the child, and possibly the mother, a false promise that the girl's decreed fate will not come to pass?"

"Yes, because it won't."

Kratos frowned slightly, eying him. "Is that fact or a desire?"

Lloyd scowled at him. "When I looked at Natalie, I saw Colette. I will not allow it to happen."

"Then how do you plan to stop it?"

Lloyd eyed him, but said nothing. Both knew he didn't have an answer to that. Yet. However, the weight of the question bore the obvious solution. Cruxis was the obstacle. It had always been the obstacle...

Lloyd shook his head and looked once again at the people.

"A guardian angel then?" Kratos spoke up after a moment, amusement in his smirk.

"She's confusing me with the oracle." Lloyd informed him indifferently.

"By the way you promised her safety, I doubt many would see it like that." Kratos glanced back the way they had come. "They will be suspicious with your obvious knowledge of her future."

"And?"

Kratos sighed and shook his head, letting it drop. Lloyd glanced at him then away. His eyes skimmed again over the faces before lifting slightly to look within the window of one of the buildings. Something about the old, brick building caught his attention and his eyes raised to the faded sign above.

"Marble," he muttered to himself, barely noticing Kratos' curious gaze. Lloyd looked back through the windows, shifting his position slightly to see past the shelves within. Stocking one of the shelves, Lloyd found the middle-aged woman. Even through the window, Lloyd could see the years had worn away the youthful mother. Thin streaks of gray showed just above her ears in her underlying hair, a few lines added to her face and the lonely eyes the seemed to lift a look right at him.

Lloyd knew Cocoa didn't see him. He was across the street standing amid the shadows of a stack of shipping crates. Even still, his eyes found her own across the distance and he shivered. He forced himself to turn away as she continued to stock shelves.

Kratos was frowning at him and had caught the unconscious eye contact between them. "Lloyd? Are you alright?"

He didn't answer immediately.

"Lloyd?"

"She never came back."

"Who?"

"Chocolat."

Kratos seemed to recall the name. The young, brash girl who had stood up to the Desians multiple times was not someone easily forgotten. Yet...Lloyd had and he closed his eyes in shame.

"Are you certain she was not with the other prisoners that escaped—?"

"Did you forget?" Lloyd's voice laced with bitterness, but at himself. Why only now could he recall the details of the young girl's predicament? "She was removed from the ranch before the battle with Magnius and transferred to another."

His father said nothing. Of course, Kratos wouldn't have understood the promise Lloyd had made years ago to himself and indirectly to Chocolat. He had killed her grandmother and failed to save Chocolat herself from the Desians. He felt—had felt—a sense of guilt and responsibility to the young girl, despite now looking back and realizing she provoked most of the problems in her young life. However, she didn't deserve to die for it.

"If I recall, she refused your help." Kratos looked at him with concern.

"So that makes it alright?"

"I didn't say it did."

Lloyd fell silent for a moment, then released a shaky breath. "She died, didn't she?"

"You don't know that."

"It's been seven years, Dad." Lloyd frowned and still looking into the store. "With an attitude like hers, she wouldn't have lasted long in captivity."

"So you blame yourself for her assumed death?" Kratos raised an eyebrow.

"Why shouldn't I? Because of my actions in Iselia, I caused the death of her grandmother. Chocolat refused my aid because of that action. I would say I am responsible." Lloyd watched gravely at the lone woman in the shop.

"I recall a young rash boy telling me that mistakes can be corrected." Kratos looked at him until Lloyd looked back. "Perhaps you should consider that, before dwelling on the past."

Lloyd frowned slightly, searching his father's face before looking away again. "I suppose I could look into the ranch files and see if she is still alive."

"I don't think that'd be wise. You'd only draw attention to yourself."

Lloyd refrained snapping back at his father, because he knew Kratos was right. Digging into the prisoner records would make Cruxis curious and suspicious, which was not what he needed at the moment.

"I can look if you wish. I believe she was being transferred to the Iselia Ranch. I'll start there." He clapped a hand firmly on Lloyd's shoulder, pushing him back onto the street, leading him away from the little store. "For now, you need to visit Colette."

Lloyd glanced at him, sighing as he shrugged off his father's hand. "I doubt you'll let me do otherwise." He paused, then asked. "How has she been doing? You saw her recently."

"As well as anyone could in her position. Presea and Genis seemed to have left after a couple of weeks, already having lingered too long in Iselia. Raine remains at the house with Colette, too nervous to leave her on her own, while Zelos and Sheena have made accommodations at the House of Salvation intermittently."

"At least she's not alone," Lloyd sighed quietly. "Though I am surprised those two stayed."

"As am I." Kratos looked at him quietly, then away. "I think she'd like some time away from them. It's trying on her to keep your relationship a secret," he commented, the two of them now leaving the city. "You still haven't told them."

"Told them what?" he asked indifferently.

Kratos sighed. "Lloyd, how long do you expect to hide that you are the father? The longer you wait, the harder it'll be for them to—"

"I have a feeling most of them know already."

"Raine?"

"And Zelos and possibly Presea."

Lloyd heard his father sigh again as they left the city gate behind them. "But not Genis?"

There was a hesitation then a slow shake of Lloyd's head. "No. Not Genis."

"Lloyd—"

"I don't know how to tell him, Dad, so let's just drop this conversation, alright?" Lloyd frowned at him. He felt on edge already. He didn't want to be upset when he went to see Colette.

Kratos shook his head. "Very well. But you should tell him. From what I've seen and heard, he's very confused."

"He's not the only one," Lloyd muttered back.

Kratos nodded but didn't comment on it further. "I'll take a look at the ranch records at Iselia while you visit Colette. I'll come for you in a few days to avoid suspicion. I'll make it seem like a routine check-up. That should give you a couple of days to spend time with her."

Lloyd nodded. He really was grateful for his father's assistance with Colette, keeping an eye on her for him over the past months. It eased Lloyd's anxieties and helped him focus on his duties in Cruxis.

The pair warped away, Kratos to the ranch and Lloyd reappearing in his usual place on the edge of the forest. He walked quickly through the trees. Being this close now, he felt a nervous excitement rising, the urge to rush up and embrace Colette tightly. The two months had been torturous and Lloyd had been forced to distract himself and put Colette and his unborn child to the back of his mind.

Now as he practically ran through the forest, his mind filled with trepidation. Had she worried about him? Was she really all right as Kratos claimed? Was she getting enough nutrition? Were the other's hassling her—

Lloyd's torrent of question stopped as he stepped onto the bridge, staring once again at the simple little wooden house. For some reason, since the first time Lloyd stepped into the clearing all those months ago, he noticed how different the clearing seemed. The abandonment was gone, the feeling of emptiness. The years of neglect still showed, but they were covered by the small changes that came with inhabiting an area. It was once again a home...

Smiling faintly, Lloyd started across the bridge. Noishe came barrelling towards him, barking happily and Lloyd once again had to sidestep the massive protozoan and calm him with his hand. The soft, discontent growling let Lloyd know Noishe was not happy with his prolonged absence. Still, the creature licked Lloyd's hand happily and padded around him as Lloyd continued forward.

The sound of the door opening and shutting made Lloyd look up sharply to see Raine standing in the doorway, arms crossed.

Lloyd paused, returning her stare calmly. Raine stood a moment longer before striding towards him without hesitation. The frown on her face made Lloyd slightly apprehensive. She appeared undeniably upset with him and though Lloyd had faced rage before—particularly from Raine—this was a look he had never witnessed before.

Raine didn't miss a step as she approached and Lloyd didn't even see the hand coming. The slap snapped his head to the side, the dull throb and sting making him blink in surprise. He quickly turned his face back to her, frowning as she glared up at him.

"You're the father." The statement, flat and without doubt.

Lloyd hesitated, looking down at her. "Raine, let me—"

The slap resounded again, the fresh sting making Lloyd wince as he turned his face back to her once again.

"I should have known. I should have noticed your behaviour and Colette's and—"

"Raine, that's enough—"

The hand came again, but Lloyd caught her wrist, inches from his face. His russet eyes narrowed on her. "I think that's enough."

"It doesn't even come close." She jerked her hand free, glaring up at him. "Get in that house and see Colette. Now."

Her tone left no room for argument and Lloyd wondered if it hadn't already been his intention to see Colette, would have Raine been enough to make him? He gave her a long look before brushing past her. As he did, she turned slightly, eyes narrowed on him.

"And the next time you see Genis," Lloyd slowed half a step, glancing partially over his shoulder at her, seeing her hard eyes. "You tell him."

Lloyd paused, looking back at her, then turned and continued on to the house.

**Please Review**


	29. Chapter 29

**Listening to **God Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts. **Well, raining. Again. I wish it would stop, I'm sick of all the flooding. Still, can't do nothing about it. Thanks to those who reviewed. Enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 29: **

"No."

"Lloyd, just tell me."

"I have none."

"Of course you do, now just tell me." Colette laughed at her husband's frustration. The wind shook the overhead canopy, making the shadows dance across the couple curled up under the tree.

Lloyd had his back resting against the trunk of the tree, Colette sitting half on his lap, her legs curled around as she leaned against him. His chin rested on the top of her head, his arms wrapped around her, resting on her pronounced baby bump.

Colette shifted slightly, taking his hand with hers and running her fingers along his palm, tracing the lines. He tilted his head slightly, watching her with a slight smile. Gently he folded his fingers around her hands, turning it over to brush his thumb over the ring.

"You no longer hide it."

She shook her head slightly, rubbing against his chin. "I don't see why I have to."

"Has anyone asked about it?" he asked, still rubbing the smooth metal.

"Only Raine, but she only mentioned it. I think she knew. If the others have, they haven't said anything." He could hear the smile in her voice and he closed his eyes, laying his cheek on her head, pulling her closer against him.

"You changed the subject again, Lloyd. That's the third time in one hour." Colette reached up and tugged at his hair, twisting her head so she could smile at him.

"You are the one that allows the subject to be changed," he smirked.

She gave his hair a sharp tug, then giggled and leaned back against him. "So what about Lauren?"

"Do you like it?"

"Lloyd, you always ask that! I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't," she sighed.

"I told you, I am content to let you choose the name."

Colette sighed again. "Okay, well. I don't mind, Lauren. Or Melanie. Or perhaps Alexa-... Lloyd are you listening?"

"Avidly."

With a touch of irritation, she tugged his hair again. "Well, what do you think?"

"They're lovely."

"Lloyd..." Colette sighed.

Lloyd closed his eyes. "Alexa is a strong name. It means to defend. I believe Lauren is taken from the laurel plant. They would make crowns for heroes out of the leaves." He paused for a moment. "Melanie means blackness."

Colette blinked, looking up at him. "Do you know everything?"

Lloyd chuckled a bit. "No, not everything."

"Hmm." She smiled and shifted, back to playing with his hand. "Alexa sounds nice, don't you think?"

"Yes, I suppose it does."

"Are you just saying that so I'll stop nagging you?"

Lloyd chuckled again, leaning his head back against the tree. His hand slowly rubbed across her belly, his eyes staring up into the branches above them. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to be feeling. Excitement was there, but so was apprehension. He wasn't ready for this, but after being gone for months and returning, sitting with her right now...

His eyes closed, feeling the soft breeze wash over them. Right now, anything seemed possible. Everything felt right.

"They are all girl names." He spoke finally.

"Oh...you're right." Colette agreed. "Well. Do you have any ideas for boys? You seem to know all the meaning of the names."

Lloyd only smiled, his head still tilted back and eyes closed.

Colette huffed slightly, turning his hand over and back, bending and unbending his fingers. "What about after your father?"

Lloyd hesitated a moment, then shook his head. "It would become a little complicated. Perhaps as a middle name."

"Hmm, alright. How about Luke? Or Alexander? Kane is different too—"

"Leon," Lloyd muttered to himself.

Colette stopped and turned her head slightly to look at him. "What was that?"

"Nothing. Why did you choose those?"

Colette paused, eyeing him, but Lloyd didn't return her look. "Well, Alexander because you seemed to like Alexa. I like Luke and Kane because they are simple and sound well..." she looked up at him curiously, then smiled softly. "Never mind. You seem distracted."

Lloyd hesitated and finally met her eye. He was distracted. He had been trying to avoid thinking about it, but the name 'Luke' reminded him of Luin. He sighed and shifted his legs. "I didn't want to tell you right away."

Colette blinked then frowned in concern. "Lloyd? What's wrong?"

"Dad informed me that he is no longer supervising this area. Yggdrasill replaced him with Pronyma." He gripped her hand. "I think he has become suspicious."

The shadows that had protected them from the heat of the sun, now seemed to chill them. The expression of fear and helplessness that filled Colette's face made him pull her even closer to him.

"What do we do?" she asked quietly. "They don't know I'm here, right? I should still be able to stay here."

"Dad believes it would be safer for you to move to Luin. The city has been rebuilt and they have strong defenders there now." Lloyd rubbed her arm comfortingly, though he felt none himself.

"Luin?" She asked in surprise.

Lloyd nodded, brushing hair from her face.

Colette hesitated. "Are you sure it's safe for me to...Lloyd, I told you what happened in Triet—"

"What happened in Triet won't happen to Luin. They are much stronger now, Colette. The townspeople there will be able to protect you and the baby." His hand gently rubbed her stomach. "I never told you. Luin was the birthplace of my mother."

Colette looked up at him. "Really?" He nodded quietly. "Lloyd, are you sure? I don't want to endanger anyone—"

"Colette, I know you are strong. I know you fought off those Desian scouts. Raine told me. She also told me about your banishment." He felt her stiffen in his arms, but he'd kept his arms around her protectively. "I know you are capable of being on your own, but you shouldn't have to go through this alone. You shouldn't have to live in fear anymore. Luin will protect you and the baby."

Her chin quivered a bit and she laid her head against his chest, eyes closing. Lloyd stroked her hair, running his fingers through the golden strands. "I wish you could come with me. I wish you didn't have to live in fear either, Lloyd. I wish we could just stay here and be a family."

"So do I," he said softly. "One day, Colette, I'll come home and I'll stay. I won't ever leave you again. We'll raise our child together and be a family. I promise."

"I know, Lloyd," she said quietly.

His thumb rubbed against her hand and he looked down at the little ring, the gem glittering in the patches of sunlight. He smiled gently, remembering that night in Tethe'alla, getting down on one knee and looking up at her. The way her eyes shone and the lights illuminated her golden hair. The way she smiled at him. The way her hands felt so soft in his as he slid the ring onto her finger.

"Lloyd? What are you thinking about?"

"How beautiful you were the night I proposed to you," he replied softly, brushing his thumb over the ring.

She giggled quietly and caught his hand, tilting her head back to smile at him.

Lloyd smiled back gently and leaned down giving her a light kiss.

"I think...we should get married. Before I move to Luin," she said after a moment.

Lloyd blinked. "Already?"

Colette hesitated then pulled back from him, brushing her hair behind her ear. "Everyone is already here. Zelos and Sheena are staying nearby and we don't know when they'll be going back. Raine is always around and you could find Genis and Presea easily enough, right?" she smiled. "And, of course, Father is just in Iselia..."

"Colette..." Lloyd frowned slightly.

"I...I know, Lloyd. I know it's dangerous. But I want him to...to be there." She grabbed his hand tightly, looking up at him. "He doesn't even know about the baby and...I want us to be married before the baby comes and we might not get another chance like this. I want us to be a family, even if we can't be together all the time."

She looked up at him, her eyes glimmering, catching the small rays of light shifting through the leaves above. She was beautiful and perfect. He didn't deserve her, but here he was, holding her in his arms. Even if he wanted to, which he didn't, he would never be able to walk away now. He needed her.

Lloyd smiled, brushing her hair back from her cheeks. "Alright."

The way her eyes lit up made him chuckle and he drew her into a deep gentle kiss, only existing in the moment here and now. This is what he wanted. What they both wanted and right now, the risks didn't matter. He would give her whatever she wanted to make happy.

Colette pulled back, her face glowing and eyes bright. "One week."

Lloyd chuckled again, brushing her hair back again. "Alright."

"We could do it here." She smiled brightly. "Right here beneath the trees. So your mother can be here too. And everyone can come. We'll tell Sheena and Zelos, Raine is already here. You can find Genis and Presea. We'll bring Father and you can tell Kratos—"

Lloyd lifted his hand to her mouth, eyes glinting mirthfully. "Let's go inside so you can write this down. I have a feeling whatever you plan, something will be added to it."

Colette blinked then smiled tugging his hair. "You'll have to help me up.

Lloyd chuckled. "Very well." Gently, he slipped his hands beneath her arms and lifted her from his lap, allowing her to move her feet beneath her and stand. She smiled up at him as he rose beside her, one hand lying upon her belly, an action that had become something of a habit for her.

Slipping his hand into hers, Lloyd walked with her back to the house. He had reservations about her proposal. Marriage already? But she was right and he understood her logic. The child deserved to have wedded parents. And he wanted to have that claim on Colette. His wife...

It gave him an odd feeling. Another surreal sensation that none of this was real. The trepidation that he'd suddenly wake to find it all nothing but a dream agitated him. However, a part of him knew this was real. The years he had spent on Derris Kharlan were very real, though it had seemed like a nightmare. Now, somehow, it had become a beautiful dream, one he never wanted to wake from.

Raine looked up as the couple entered the house, her eyes glancing at their clasped hands for a moment then back up. She leaned back in her chair, closing the book she had been reading. The look she was giving Lloyd almost made him smile. She was curious and it was her pride that kept her from asking the obvious question that was taunting her.

Taking his time, he pulled out a chair for Colette, holding her hand as she sat carefully before taking a seat himself and looking up to meet Raine's gaze.

"We're getting married."

A flicker of pride, excitement and perhaps surprise made the couple chuckle together as Raine took a moment to process the sudden announcement. Her eyes immediately dropped to the small ring and then up at their smiling faces. Slowly she smiled, though she tried to mask it. "Well, it's about time you set a date. When are you planning it for?"

"The end of the week." Lloyd answered, another small smile twitching in the corner of his mouth as he watched his old teacher blink in surprise.

"A week—"

Colette smiled brightly. "We decided it would be best while everyone is around. We don't know when we'll get another chance."

Raine slightly lost for words, nodded but then frowned. "What about Genis and Presea. They left weeks ago."

"It shouldn't be difficult to track them down." Lloyd reassured her.

The way Raine looked at him, made Lloyd shift uncomfortably, almost embarrassed and he cough and rose from his chair. "I'm sure you and Colette can handle the preparations and list of what will be needed for the wedding."

Colette smiled up at Lloyd and nodded. "We can."

Lloyd returned the smile, giving her a light kiss before heading to the door. Just as he was about to leave he heard Raine's chair scrape.

"What about Dirk?"

Lloyd gripped the door handle firmly, but he spoke over his shoulder. "After I locate Genis and Presea."

He didn't wait for a response as he shut the door behind him, but he felt a slight heaviness in those three words Raine said. Lloyd knew avoiding his foster father was inevitable and he wasn't entirely sure why he was in the first place. He assumed it was that same fear that made him avoid his friends for all these months—years—and as he looked back on it, he saw immaturity and cowardice.

Lloyd smirked bitterly as he released his wings, letting them flap before pushing off the ground in single sweep. He understood now, that it was time to move forward. All this time, he never realized he was standing motionless as everything continued to move on around him. All this time, he had still be trapped in that room. Isolated and closed off. He understood that now. Now, he was able to move forward.

* * *

"Where is your son, Kratos?"

Yuan heard the irritated sigh and smirked as he strode into the room to sit on the edge of the couch.

Kratos didn't even bother looking up from the folders opened on the table. "Obviously not here, Yuan."

"Obviously."

"Then why are you here?" Kratos flipped a paper, his eyes scanning the page.

"Because you are his father and you are more likely to know his whereabouts." Yuan moved his head slightly, trying to make out the contents. Kratos merely shifted the papers in the opposite direction, still scanning them.

"Did you check Altamira? I hear he's quite fond of that place."

Yuan narrowed his eyes then chuckled, straightening his gloves with a sharp tug. "Yes, so I've heard. He's does seem to have a taste for blondes, doesn't he?" When his answer was met with silence, Yuan glanced over to see Kratos staring blankly at the papers, before shifting his eyes to meet Yuan's.

"I suppose he does." Kratos agreed stiffly.

"Where is he, Kratos?"

"I gave you my suggestion."

"He's not in Altamira."

"Isn't he? I was certain that's where the bunnies were."

Yuan scowled and rose from his seat. "Enough of this, Kratos. She's still alive, isn't she?"

"Who?" Kratos carefully returned the papers to their folders before looking up at Yuan.

The two men stared at one another before Yuan smirked. It was obvious. Yuan recalled when the time Kratos attempted to hide Anna from him. His lies were transparent when it came to these sorts of things; things Kratos wanted to protect, but was unable to defend with only a sword. And Yuan could almost see it, a small flicker and glint in Kratos' eye. A small fear and remembrance. Like father, like son.

Yuan smirked pulling back a bit, brushing aside his cape. "It is pointless to lie to me, Kratos. Considering I already know she's alive."

He waited while Kratos debated, knowing he was trying to decide if Yuan were trying to pull information from him.

"From who?"

Yuan closed his eyes, letting a smile twitch at the corner of his mouth. "A betrayed young friend. Emotions seem to be running high among teenagers it seems."

"Genis, then."

"So you are aware of this."

"I did not say that. I only assume, since Genis would be the emotional teenager you speak of."

"Hmm." Yuan glanced at him then stepped around to the front of the coffee table. "We are on the same side here, Kratos. Why is it you insist on treating me like the villain?"

"What occurs on Sylvarant is of no concern to you, Yuan. I do not question you about your dealings in Tethe'alla."

"Lloyd is hiding her, isn't he? He's finally betraying Cruxis." Yuan put his hand on the tabletop, forcing Kratos to acknowledge him. He felt a hope, a small hope of possibility that would ripple outward into a force strong enough to topple this damned organization. All that was needed was a push, something to initiate it.

"Stop bothering me, Yuan and ask Lloyd yourself, though I hardly think you will find out anything." Kratos shifted, returning to the folders the table.

It was clear the conversation was over and though Yuan wasn't satisfied completely he had at least confirmed more than he had known before. Not only that, he thought as he turned to leave, but he had also learned Kratos seemed to have a role in this charade as well. After all these years, Yuan could hardly believe to hope, but it was obvious.

Things were in motion.

* * *

"Genis, please put down the book and eat something. Your food is getting cold." Presea said, reaching pulling the book from his hands and setting a plate before him.

"Presea! I was just about done the—"

"Eat, Genis. The book won't have changed in the last five minutes." She carefully marked the page and closed it, setting it to the side.

Genis huffed a bit, but didn't argue. He knew she was right, but he had fallen behind on his studies since all the excitement with Colette and Lloyd had started and he knew he'd never be ready for the final examination next month. He sighed a bit, picking at his food, before catching the pointed look from Presea and started eating it.

"Do you not like it?"

"What? No. I do. It's good." Genis' cheeks reddened. "I'm just distracted."

"I can tell. What is distracting you?" She looked at him, the small tilt of her head, showing her genuine curiosity.

Genis couldn't help but smile. Everything about Presea was genuine. Every action held a purpose, helping her convey her emotions to others. It had been hard for the first few years, but gradually, Genis watched her become more and more herself. He learned that the little movements: the tilt of her head, the hard frown when she was upset and the way she'd turn her face aside when she was upset. He could read her now, just as she could read him. She cared deeply for him. At first, her actions almost felt motherly to him and it had taken time to understand how she struggled to convey her feelings. He realized now that it was the only way she knew how to act with him.

Raine would often smile and tell him, Presea was exactly what he needed. Someone who could handle him; a more calm half to his more high-strung and forward attitude. He hated it when Raine would bring up how fortunate he was to have Presea put up with him. It made him wonder if he was dragging her down, holding her back, but Presea would only smile—that small, cute smile—and tell him she was glad to be with him.

Now years later, he couldn't really imagine his life without her there. She really was his second half and he didn't mind it at all.

"Genis, you are looking at me weird again." Presea's soft voice interrupted his thoughts. He blinked and reddened a bit, noticing the same smile as she tilted her head at him.

"Ah—Sorry, Presea. I was just thinking."

"It's alright," she said, taking a drink. "You are distracted about Lloyd and Colette?"

Genis stiffened a bit, then frowned, picking at his food.

"Genis?"

He hesitated looking at her. "Presea, do you...see me as a child?"

"You are still young, if that's what you mean." She lowered her cup, looking at him.

"No...I mean." He sighed. "Colette is...having a baby and Lloyd has...he has grown up. He's almost thirty already and I'm not even twenty yet. I just feel like I'm being left behind. That everyone else has moved on with their lives and I'm still stuck here, trying to catch up."

Presea stayed quiet for a moment, then reached over and grabbed his hand. Genis lifted his gaze. "I understand, Genis. I have been left behind too. Time only moves forward and some of us move quickly and others slowly."

Genis immediately regretted his selfish complaints. "I'm sorry, Presea. I wasn't thinking."

"You do not have to apologize, Genis. I have learned what it is to regret and long for things I can no longer have. However, sometimes it is worse to regret what you have been given, because it can be a gift." She smiled gently, but Genis only shook his head.

"I don't understand. How can...falling behind and losing so much be considered a gift?"

"For me, it is a gift, because if I had not been trapped by that Cruxis Crystal, I would not be here with you."

Genis reddened again, feeling Presea squeeze his hand as she smiled at him. "I—I guess you are right. I just can't see how, what happened with Lloyd and now Colette having some guy's—how can this be a gift?"

Closing her eyes, Presea leaned back, releasing his hand and returned to eating her meal. "Sometimes it can take us a while to see the gift, even when it's before us. Lloyd is struggling, Genis, just as you are. But as long as you both continue to try and work things out, you will become friends again."

She spoke with a certainty that startled Genis. Aside from stories he had told her about Lloyd—the Lloyd before Cruxis—Genis didn't think Presea knew Lloyd that well. He didn't think she remembered him very well in the short time they were in Tethe'alla and he couldn't help but look at her curiously.

Presea, however, offered no further explanation and completely ignored his questioning look. With a frustrated sigh, Genis looked back to his plate and finished eating, giving a little flushed growl as Presea smiled at his pouting behaviour.

The inn slowly became crowded as people began to file in to escape the humid afternoon heat. Genis noticed Presea's anxious glances as the noise level raised and he quickly smiled and tossed out some money, leaving it on the table as he gathered his books and nodded at her. The pair manoeuvred their way through the crowd and outside.

Genis sighed as he felt the heat drape around them like a wet cloth. It was humid for a change, his eyes darting to the sky. It was a little overcast and he figured it'd rain before nightfall. Still, they could wander around the city until the majority of the crowd left the inn.

Presea took his hand in hers, linking her fingers with his. His cheeked heated up but he tried to appear like it didn't bother him. They were nearing the small lake oasis when they saw him.

Genis stiffen, his eyes widening a bit, but he felt Presea squeeze his hand and he kept from shouting out. Hesitating a moment, Genis looked around, but few people were outside in this heat and he released Presea's hand to hurry over to him.

"Lloyd?" he asked tentatively.

Lloyd turned away from looking at the water and faced Genis. His eyes scanned him a moment before he allowed himself to relax slightly. Genis didn't feel quite the same, but he struggled to.

"Hello...Genis."

The greeting was stiff and awkward and Genis shifted on the sandy path as well. He heard Presea coming up slowly behind him, noticing Lloyd's eyes glance over, nodding a greeting to her.

"Hello, Lloyd. What brings you to Triet?" Presea asked.

Genis glanced at her and then back at Lloyd, knowing she was trying to break the awkward silence.

"I thought I would find you both here. I have something I'd like to ask you both." Lloyd answered, a slight hesitation in his voice.

Finally finding his voice, Genis frowned, though slightly curious. "Well? What is it?"

Lloyd's eyes locked with his and Genis found the look odd. He couldn't really explain it, but he thought he saw a glimmer in Lloyd's eyes, almost as if he was hiding some joke from them.

"Colette and I would like to have you at our wedding."

Genis' eyes widen and Presea smiled softly. Lloyd look at him anxiously, his hands tightly clenched around the hilt of his sword.

"Y-Your wedding?" Genis finally managed, blinking. "You mean, you and Colette—"

"Yes, Genis." Lloyd nodded slowly. "I asked her to marry me."

Genis' suddenly found himself staring at all the events up until then. All the moments of Colette and Lloyd, the way they would look at each other, the way Colette stubbornly defended Lloyd, regardless of what he had done and the way Lloyd acted around Colette. And the ring. He had seen it, but it hadn't clicked. What finger had it been on? How long had she been wearing it? Why hadn't anyone—

"When is the wedding, Lloyd?" Presea's voice interrupted Genis' torrent of thoughts.

"At the end of the week."

A week.

Genis swallowed, struggling to understand what was going on. A week? Why in a week? Weddings usually took months to organize. And when did this all happen? Why didn't anyone tell him?

"Colette wishes to have the wedding before the baby is born." Lloyd added quietly.

Genis's head lifted, locking eyes with Lloyd. The baby. Colette's baby—their baby—

"It's yours." The words weren't more than a whisper, but Lloyd heard them and nodded silently. Genis stared at him, frowning gritting his teeth but Presea's hand around his helped calm his anger. Genis took a shuddery breath, looking at Lloyd, suddenly seeing him, as if for the first time. He was scared, but excited and right now he was even more nervous. Lloyd...was getting married. He was going to be a father...

"I can't believe this..." Genis murmured staring at him. "Why didn't you tell me—l" he cut himself off, frowning. He already knew the answer to that. He swallowed again, remembering his conversation with Yuan. Lloyd had missed them. Had missed him, at least that's what Yuan said. Genis never trusted Yuan for much, but he didn't think Yuan lied about that.

His eyes lifted to Lloyd's face, looking to see if this was some practical joke. He couldn't really think of a reason for Lloyd to joke about something like this. And a part of him knew that it wasn't. It wasn't a lie. This was really happening.

He swallowed a bit, struggling to form a response, but Presea beat him to it.

"Of course, we'll come."

She said it with such simplicity that Genis could only stare at her as Lloyd nodded, but his hadn't left Genis. He was waiting for Genis to say it, for him to agree.

Hesitating only a moment, Genis nodded stiffly. "Yeah. Sure..."

Lloyd's smile came weakly and vanished quickly with his quick nod. "Colette will be pleased." He hesitated a moment longer. Genis shivered a bit, feeling the heat quickly lowering as the day drew to an end.

"So, it's in a week?" Genis asked tentatively, attempting to press forward. Presea was right. He needed to stop living in the past. Lloyd was making an effort, so couldn't he?

"Yes."

"Well," Genis smiled weakly. "I guess we can make it."

Lloyd nodded again, attempting a weak smile, but Genis could see the gratitude in his eyes. It felt nice, not to be yelling, to be fighting with him. He felt unsure and a little awkward still, but at least this meant Lloyd couldn't just run off anymore.

"I have one last request." His eyes focused on Genis, once again.

"What?" Genis asked slowly.

"Will you be my best man?"

**Please Review.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Listening to **Awake and Alive by Skillet. **Song matches this chapter perfectly. Was planting trees today. Defintely hate spruce trees now, damn prickly needles. Nasty sunburn too. Oh well, what better way to celebrate Canada Day. Sorry for the slightly late update. Hope you all enjoy. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 30:**

His eyes settled on the small hidden mound. The brush was cleverly planted, sheltering the wood. It wasn't easily scene, even when one was looking for it. He wondered how Raine managed to find it in the first place.

He didn't know how long he stood there. His feet shifting occasionally, his eyes fastened on the wooden door through the brambles. His eyes found the packed ground where feet had worn a path into the forest. It was still obscure, but noticeable. He should advise him about that when they talked.

Still, even as he ordered his thoughts around this, he didn't move. His eyes returned to the door. He felt like turning around and walking away. But where would he go? Back to his friends without so much as a reason for his return alone. No, that wasn't even an option. That was probably one of the most frustrating aspects of mending the frayed relationships, they were too expectant. Everyone expected to see Dirk at the wedding, so Lloyd knew, it would have to happen.

It wasn't like he didn't want it, it was just he hadn't given much thought as to how he would approach his foster father. It had been years since he had seen the gruff dwarf and Lloyd knew that those years would clash angrily between them. There was going to be too much differences between them now. Too many changes in his personality.

Frightened. Yes, he would accept that verdict. He was terrified. He was a disappointment in every angle of the word and the man who had raised him from a boy was the last person Lloyd wanted to disappoint.

"What are ya doing in front of mah door?"

Lloyd stiffened, his breath caught in his throat as he turned his eyes towards the gruff voice. Dwarves were known for their endurance and longevity. They were hardy beings and it was just as difficult to determine their age by appearance as it was elves. Lloyd could only stare at the dwarf, struggling to find where the years affected him.

He couldn't.

Lloyd swallowed slowly, turning to face the dwarf as the stout man set his load of wood on the ground, his bushy eyebrows furrowed forward as the small deep-set eyes studied Lloyd. Lloyd waited for the question again, the demand for a name. How could he possibly recognize him now? None of the others had, even when they had been face to face. Well at least not right away. They all had that hesitation, that uncertainty. Even Colette had continued to attack him when they met. How could Dirk possibly—

"Lloyd?"

His eyes snapped up, fixated on the dwarf in stunned silence. He hadn't noticed the paleness that crept across the tanned face, or the way the eyebrows rose high the forehead and the dark eyes showing the whites on the edge. Lloyd could only stare back before the stout man barrelled towards him like a bear. Lloyd couldn't even begin to react as the thick, muscled arms wrapped around his waist. He choked slightly as the pressure forced the breath out of him, the small man lifting him clear off his feet with a deep guffawing laugh.

"I nary believe it. Ya are alive! I knew it. I knew it, boy! I told that Raine, 'That boy is too stubborn to get 'imself killed' and I was right!" He let Lloyd go, pushing him back a bit, his head craned back to look up at him. He tapped his chest and arms, reaching up awkwardly to do so, but the smile behind the bushy beard never faltered. "I knew ya weren't dead, boy."

Lloyd stared down at him, his mind blank and his eyes wide. He felt lost, unable to say everything he had planned. He could only stare down at the dwarf, the certainty and unwavering acceptance nearly overbalancing him. He felt his throat close up, his mouth opening and closing without a sound.

Dirk guffawed again, the laugh deep, rich and familiar. "Well what are ya standing their gaping like a fish, boy? Ya that surprised to see me still kicking too?"

Lloyd just dropped to his knees and his arms grabbed the dwarf in a clumsy embrace. His taller form nearly engulfed the smaller man, but Lloyd could barely control his own strength, fearing he'd crush the man if he didn't. He struggled to let it out, to let it all out and he choked a bit, gripping him harder as he felt the big hands pat his back.

"D-Dad."

* * *

The table was ridiculously short and the chaired only increased the discomfort. Lloyd settled on the soft earthen floor, folding his one leg under the other, using the chair to support his back as he watched his father toss handfuls of food into a pot. Lloyd was pretty certain he heard a clang at one point.

The smile rose to his mouth, betraying himself to his foster father, who bellowed out as soon as he did.

"Now there ya are. Ya shouldn't frown so much, boy. Gives ya wrinkles and wastes ya energy." He smiled, his cheeks rising on either side and his eyes squinting close practically. Lloyd sighed a bit, smiling weakly at him.

"Alright." Lloyd agreed, if only for the sake of agreeing. It was difficult to argue with the dwarf, even now. There was something about the way he really didn't leave an opening for Lloyd to object. It was a matter of pushing him in through the small door and practically sliding down the ladder into the underground home. There Lloyd either had to walk stooped almost double or walk upon his knees with his neck craned slightly down in order to avoid smacking his head against the low ceiling. His objections went on deaf ears as Dirk ushered him in through the wide, but low tunnels and into the main room. There he was practically ordered to sit as his foster father prepared his old favourite meal, Dwarven Potluck Surprise.

Lloyd heard another clang and sighed again, shaking his head slightly as he watched Dirk blow the coals hot and stoked the little stove. Setting the huge cast iron pot on the top he turned rubbing his hands on a towel and seated himself across from Lloyd.

"There, we just give it a few minutes and it'll be bubbling hot." His hands reached over, setting out a pair of clay mugs and poured something from a brown jug into them. The sharp smell nearly made Lloyd sneeze as Dirk passed him the cup.

"I guess ya are old enough to share a cup o' two with yar father now, aye?" He chuckled to himself, taking a gulp. "Don't be shy."

Lloyd gave him a look, but smirked weakly and drank a mouth full, blinking at the taste that still managed to slip past his angelic senses. It was strong ale.

Dirk immediately filled his glass again, topping off Lloyd's before stoppering the jug and looking at him. "Now that we're comfortable, why don't ya tell me where ya have been all these years?"

The ale suddenly made him nauseated, churning in his stomach. He gripped the cup, then quickly loosened his grip in fear of cracking the clay. "How much do you know?"

His tone must have betrayed something, for Dirk's eyebrows shot up, his mug lowering slowly. "How much ya got to tell, Lloyd?"

Lloyd considered his question, wondering how far back he should begin. He hadn't seen Dirk since he had left with Genis on the journey of Regeneration. Everything to that point held a significance to where Lloyd was that day. He took a long gulp of the ale, draining his glass, shuddering slightly as it burned down his throat and he cleared his voice.

It must have been hours, or maybe it was only minutes. The time dragged on and the candles flickered gently, the wax pooling around the base. The stew bubbled on the stove, Dirk having gotten up and lowering the heat. Neither of them felt like eating. The brown jug emptied and Dirk procured another from somewhere. Lloyd wasn't sure who had drank more at that point.

He finished his telling with the decision to come and find Dirk, the rest of the story told more or less in facts. He even spoke of the torture and his talks with Yggdrasill to the dwarf. The floodgate had been open and Lloyd couldn't hold back anything, even if he wanted to. His voice died off slowly and he didn't raise his eyes from his mug, which was empty again.

"I see." The two words, the first words Dirk spoke the entire time stabbed Lloyd like a knife. The neutrality of them made the guilt rise like bile in his throat. He felt ashamed and cowardly. Speaking out and confessing to everything made him realize how much of a child he really had been.

"Now don't look like that." Dirk slammed his mug down on the table roughly, causing Lloyd to jerk up a bit. His eyes finally rose to meet his foster father's and he was stunned to see them slightly red and his cheeks, visible above his beard, damp.

"Dad—"

"Ya, made a decision like a man. Ya have always been stubborn and ya always have put ya friends before ya ownself." There was a catch in his voice and he rose, his movements shaking the table, jostling the ale out of the mug. "I heard enough self blame and guilt in ya tale, I won't have ya pouring it out all over the table, ya hear me?"

Lloyd closed his mouth, struggling to understand. He watched the dwarf move back towards the stove, stirring the pot with clumsy rotations. Lloys frowned a bit, gripping his mug and then reached for the brown jug only to flinch as a loud clang echoed in the room.

"And I won't have ya drinking ya guilt away either, Lloyd. Ya were a man then, a stupid man, but a man to stay away to protect ya friends. But ya acting like a whipped dog waiting to be whipped again now. Ya need to stop whining and growl back."

Lloyd stared at his broad back. "Dad—"

"And what's this about ya having a weddin' and a babe too? Ya didn't think I didn't notice that, did ya boy? Ya you skimmed over it like it was nothing, but I heard ya, clear." He eyed him, his forehead knotted with lines and his eyes nearly hidden beneath his frowning brows. "Ya better tell me when I'm a gonna be a grandpa before ya even think about anything else."

Lloyd blinked, staring at him as the dwarf folded his muscled arms across his barrelled chest. Perhaps it was because he was tipsy, or perhaps it was just the sense of familiarity of being scolded, but Lloyd found himself ducking his head a bit in embarrassment, feeling the heat in his cheeks as he looked aside. "A few more months..."

"Months?" Lloyd jerked a bit as Dirk bellowed, but as he looked up the dwarf had an odd look on his face and a wide grin. "Ah...you really are a man, now aren't ya, boy?"

Lloyd blinked then weakly smiled as Dirk scooped stew into a couple of wooden bowls. "Well, perhaps you could stop referring to me as a boy then?"

"Now why would I do that? Ya haven't aged that much that ya are older than me. Now, hush up and eat ya stew 'fore it gets cold."

Lloyd sighed a bit, looking at the dark, brow mass. "What's in here exactly?" he asked as he heard his spoon chink against something metal.

Dirk grunted, spooning some into his mouth. "Ya never asked before. Eat and ya'll find out, won't ya?"

Lloyd smiled and shook his head, carefully eating. Wary of the occasionally nail and bolt resting on the spoon. He wondered how he had ever survived his childhood, or at least, how he hadn't suffered more injuries.

"So will you come to the wedding?" Lloyd offered after he had pushed his bowl aside. He was thankful his appetite wasn't what it used to be.

"Aye, I will. Do ya think I will miss mah own son's wedding?" Dirk scoffed, wiping the stew from his beard. "When are ya having it?"

"In two days."

"Ya sure don't give me much notice, do ya?" Dirk grunted, pushing his own bowl aside. He paused, looking at Lloyd intently. Lloyd lowered his eyes, staring at his empty cup. "Why do ya lower yer eyes at me, boy? What do ya have to be ashamed of?"

Lloyd didn't respond and Dirk rose from his seat with a heavy sigh. "Yer a stupid boy. Stubborn, that's fer sure, but stupid too." He pushed the chair in, gripping the back of it firmly. "So what ya planning to do now?"

"I don't know." Lloyd answered quietly, frowning.

The cuff landed on his ear, the ringing making him give a shout and look up startled, holding his ear. Dirk's face was flushed darkly with anger. "Don't tell me, ya don't know, Lloyd. Ya are a man now, so make a man's decision and tell me what ya are going to do."

Lloyd swallowed, his frustration building as it once had years ago when Dirk scolded him for going to the ranch. He never believed the dwarf understood and he didn't believe it now. How could he? He had the facts, but it wasn't the same as the experience. He quelled his anger, but it slipped into his voice regardless.

"And what would you have me do?" His eyes met his foster father's, his hand lowering as he straightened. It was awkward to try and talk down to an adult—a parent—when he was sitting upon the floor. But there was no room to stand and kneeling would feel more awkward. He gritted his teeth.

Dirk didn't flinch, answering him with another cuff across the back of the head. "Don't talk to me like that, Lloyd. Ya being bitter as a little child. Use ya head! Do ya think you can just marry Colette here, have a kid, and just forget about this whole business with Cruxis? Ya can't have both, ya gonna have to choose and ya better do that before ya marry her."

Lloyd bristled, his hands clenched, but even as he turned his head away, he knew Dirk was right. He had to make a decision. He lifted his eyes back to Dirk, the dwarf watching him. He wasn't leaving any opening. Lloyd knew at this moment, he was being forced to face something he had been avoiding since the day he had been released from that room.

He got up, attempted to, smacking his head on the dirt roof. He grunted lowering down as Dirk crossed his arms. Lloyd sighed and settled down again, considering. "Alright, I'll put a stop to it. Just, I need time."

"I didn't say when ya had to do it. Just that you did. Ya just have to hear yerself saying that and I know ya going to follow it through." He sat back down and smiled at him, his bushy beard spreading out with his grin. Lloyd thought at that moment, he really did look like a big old bear.

Lloyd smiled, wondering suddenly, when he had started feeling so light.

* * *

"Why are you not inside?"

Lloyd lifted his eyes to watch his father step from the trees. He smiled lightly, lifting his shoulders in a shrug.

Kratos paused, eyeing him carefully, before coming to stand beside him. "You are happy about something."

"I suppose." Lloyd answered, teasingly.

Kratos scoffed, turning his eyes towards the house, listening to the muffled conversation within. "They are planning something." He frowned, trying to determine what the women inside were discussing. "Flowers, clothes, invitations—" He fell silent, his gaze returning to Lloyd.

Lloyd smirked and nodded. It never took his father long to figure out the situation at hand. It was one of the things Lloyd had come to appreciate from the older man. He never had to try and explain things. Their wordless conservations had become an understanding.

Still, Lloyd waited , watching his father come to terms with the discovery. He looked thoughtful, considering. His eyes roamed Lloyd as if he was suddenly noticing something for the first time. Lloyd wondered briefly if he really appeared different somehow.

Lloyd chuckled, eyes closing. "You are welcomed to stay for the ceremony. Colette would like to have you there. As would I."

"When is it?" Kratos asked after a moment.

"Tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to Iselia tomorrow morning to invite Frank." He added slowly.

"Short notice, isn't it?" Kratos smirked weakly, still studying him distractedly.

Lloyd shrugged. "I suppose, however, I see no point in waiting longer. Colette wishes us married before the child is born and before we set out to Luin. I agree with her..."

Kratos nodded. "Is it wise for you to enter Iselia? Perhaps Raine or Genis would be better—"

"No." Lloyd cut him off. "This is something I'll do for Colette. I will not be the coward. I want to ask Frank for her hand."

"I see. Very well then." Kratos reached over suddenly, gripping his shoulder. "You've grown so quickly." There was pride in his voice and something else Lloyd couldn't label, just that it made his voice catch.

Lloyd smirked, looking back at his father. He thought back, suddenly, to that young brash teenager he had been, challenging the world and his elders. It seemed so long ago and yet, not very far at all. "I have grown in a lot of ways." He smiled, hesitant but real.

"Yes. To see you now, ready to take a wife and raise your own child, it seems surreal for me, I suppose. I still remember the day you were born and I held you for the first time. You were small and I was afraid of you and your mother watched my helplessness." His eyes stared right through him and Lloyd knew he was seeing that moment, reliving the feelings. Seeing the young boy he used to know. It suddenly made Lloyd wonder nervously, if he would be looking back at his own son and daughter this way in time. Reflecting on the passage of time...

"I will be at your wedding, Lloyd." He spoke suddenly, his hand pulling back. He smiled suddenly, soft. Lloyd smiled back, then embraced him briefly, unable to help himself. He blamed Dirk.

"I saw Dirk, the other day." Lloyd confessed quietly as he pulled back. He felt obliged to inform his father. In these years, he hadn't considered the significance of Kratos' return into his life would have on his relationship with Dirk. At times, he found it difficult to consider one more his father than the other. He wasn't sure either, how they would clash in each other's presence. "He will be coming as well." Lloyd finally admitted.

Kratos scanned him carefully, then nodded. I'm sure he's pleased. I'm sure he's also glad to see you."

Lloyd gave a crooked smirk. "He was. As was I, in the end. It had been...difficult at first, to face him after all these years." He looked aside for a moment. "He recognized me though."

"Why wouldn't he?" Kratos asked.

Lloyd frowned. Kratos knew his identity fear, so he didn't need to voice his answer.

"He was your father for many years, Lloyd. Still is, in his eyes and yours I am sure. A parent knows their child, regardless of the passing of time."

Lloyd swallowed, nodding to his words, then cracked a grin. "Like you did at Martel's Temple?"

Kratos grunted, frowning at his jest. "I suspected. I was just certain once I saw Anna's—"

Rolling his eyes, Lloyd chuckled. "At ease, Old Man, I mean no ridicule." He ignored Kratos' scowl and leaned back against the tree, looking at the house. He felt odd, light and out of place, as if he standing back and being pulled along at the same time. Everything seemed to moving in a blur and yet, he could hear his fiancé and her friends laughing with excited voices. Beside him, stood his father, a person he hadn't know for nearly half his life. Just a few miles away, his foster father gathered his best ale and Lloyd finally knew peace at least in that part of his life.

"So you will leave with Colette the following day?" Kratos asked, bringing him from his thoughts.

Lloyd nodded. "Yes, if what you say about Pronyma is true, then moving her sooner will be better."

"Yes, perhaps." Kratos nodded. "I managed to locate Chocolat's file in the Iselia Ranch."

Lloyd stiffened, reality slamming into him once again. His eyes turned to look at his father, bracing himself for the news. He didn't need to hear this right now, not now, but what right did he have to ask that?

He closed his eyes, frowning. "When did she die?"

"She didn't."

Lloyd's eyes snapped open, looking at his father sharply. "What—"

"Chocolat is still a captive in the Iselia Ranch."

* * *

He didn't know what drove him. Insanity, perhaps. It was reckless. It was rash. Everything he had struggled to protect, to keep stable and firm was now teetering on the edge of collapse. But he didn't care.

No. That wasn't quite right. He did care. He was terrified in reality. He knew what the cost would be if he failed. Colette, his unborn child, his friends...

His eyes drifted to Genis, who walked beside him. The stern, angled face of his childhood friend radiated both their emotions. Their determination was strong and impulsive. Lloyd bore it more subtly, but he understood the feeling. He stepped with the same firm strides, walked with the air ofunwavering purpose, just as Genis did. It was a welcoming warmth, spreading from somewhere deep within him. A part of him was rekindling and he felt alive, burning with this intensity that drove him towards this insanity.

"You didn't have to come." He turned again to the young half-elf beside him.

"Your point?" the reply was harsh, the voice a bit stiff, but not bitter. The bitterness was gone now.

Lloyd smirked weakly at Genis' attempt to silence him. Despite their differences Lloyd never truly spurned Genis. He may not be the same Lloyd, but Genis hadn't changed. Not really and that gave him comfort.

"Your sister will be mad with you, when she finds out."

Genis snorted. "She may yell at me, but she always knew you were behind those crazy ideas. She'll know this time too and you'll be the one she's mad at."

Lloyd tilted his head, considering. What Genis said held true when they were children. Now, however, Lloyd found it difficult to imagine Raine scolding him. She'd have to look up, instead of down and that in itself would make a remarkable difference. He let the smile slip to his face.

Genis glanced over, and Lloyd saw a hint of a smile too. "Not to mention Colette probably won't be too happy either."

"Hmm, that's debatable. I think she'd just be worried." Lloyd answered.

"Yeah you are probably right." Genis nodded then took a deep breath, looking around. "Just like old times, right Lloyd?"

Lloyd's eyes closed, the smile hesitant, but staying. He could almost imagine that day, trekking to the human ranch with Genis. The nervousness on his friend's face and the blind child-like acceptance that they were traversing where they shouldn't. That was when rules and laws didn't matter, at least not to children.

Lloyd always believed that adults matured past these tendencies. Yuan assured him of that anyway. Well, most adults. Lloyd could think of a few that hadn't grown up just yet. He knew that hardships made boys into men and girls into women, building on their strengths and weakness and shaping them into responsible adults. He knew, too, that the ability to see consequences was a sign of a maturity and a much needed skill. Lloyd saw those consequences all too clearly, especially now with this obligation he set himself upon.

But his stride never slowed, his confident smirk contagiously spreading to his childhood friend. They had the air of invincibility and power, the reckless ambition of children. They were unstoppable.

Lloyd heard the silence of the ranch long before they stepped onto the small, worn path leading into the desolate clearing. There was little symbiotic feelings between the cold, stone facility and the rich, living forest. Even the night life wouldn't penetrate the metal and stone walls. The land around it had been cleared of trees and most shrubs. Weeds and grass were the only vegetation that dared to intrude on the outer wall.

They both stopped at the edge of the clearing. The moon shimmered down ghostly, making the cold stone seem colder. Nothing had changed. It was nostalgic and Lloyd could imagine a time where nothing truly mattered. Where boundaries meant nothing and impulsive decisions guided their world.

He wondered, suddenly, if that day, when they came to the ranch and discovered the beginnings of the cruel world that existed beyond their own, Lloyd wondered if that had been the first stone to set the ripples in motion. Everything from that moment, standing at those crossroads with Genis and taking that step towards the ranch, everything had erupted, everything had begun to change. Truth and lies were revealed, a sense of revenge and then revelation of consequences. Marble's death, his mother's death...

"Lloyd?" Genis' voice reached for him, but he didn't respond, too far within himself to pull out.

His eyes traced the cliffs they had stood upon as boys, where Lloyd had directed Genis to begin the attack, the waterfall that would cascade in a rush of tumbling chaos. The destruction of the village, their deaths, his banishment. Those cliffs, that crossroad, that decision to attack...

"Ironic, isn't it?" The bitter humour in his voice puzzled Genis.

"What is?" He asked curiously.

Lloyd looked at him a moment, then closed his eyes, smiling weakly. "This is where it all started."

Genis blinked, his eyes turning to scan the area. His pause told Lloyd he was remembering. "I guess it was. We were pretty stupid back then, huh?" A crooked smile flashed in his direction.

Lloyd smirked, making his way towards the cliffs. "Then what does that make us now?"

"Crazy?" Genis jested, not knowing how true those words felt to Lloyd. They were crazy. Insane, and perhaps that is what was missing all this time. All these years, Lloyd struggled to act logically. Perhaps acting illogical was the answer.

"Yes, perhaps we are, Genis." His eyes moved over to look at his friend. A short flicker of memory and a short boy grinned back at him, hidden nervousness in his eyes, but excitement too. Lloyd felt as if he had went back too, standing here, beside his best friend, ready to take on the world to protect a single person. Back then it was Colette. It still was Colette, but at this moment, Chocolat needed him. A promise made a long time ago. A promise he swore to himself he'd keep. Right here, right now...

Genis looked at him, his eyes bright and eager. "This is where it all started, Lloyd, and this is where it will end." His eyes moved towards the ranch, eyeing the structure with firm determination.

Lloyd shook his head, looking at it as well, his eyes narrowing, burning with the intensity that flared from within. "No, Genis. It's just beginning."

**Please Review.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Listening to** Mistakes by Kutless and Hero by Skillet. **It fits in its way. So I've run out of back up chapters. Which is why this one is a day late. I'm still going to try and update every two weeks. I know a lot of you would really like them more often. It'll all depend when I get time to write. Other than that, I really had run with this chapter, once it got going. Been looking forward to it for over a month so I hope you all enjoy it as well. Thanks for the reviews everyone! **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 31:**

"Okay, so I think we should go about this quickly and quietly." Genis whispered, peering around the crate towards the door. "You said you've been here before. You know where everything is?"

"I do." Lloyd studied his sword, running his hand along the blade. Genis watched him a moment and Lloyd paused, giving him his attention.

"So, how do you want to do this? We have to find Chocolat and get out. I took care of those security cameras—Lloyd, wait where are you going?"

Lloyd didn't answer as he continued to walk across the work yard. He listened as Genis hurried after him, desperately whispering his name, but he ignored his anxiety.

The first soldier dropped without a sound and Lloyd slid his blade free of the body as Genis stopped beside him.

"Lloyd—"

"The time for caution is over, Genis. I'm tired of playing by the rules." He lifted his sword, looking at the blood, then at his friend. "I've considered what this may cost me, but at the same time, I think the consequences will be far less in the end."

"Lloyd, what are you talking about?" He asked quietly, yet the surge of excitement and anticipation filled his face. Lloyd smirked weakly. Genis knew exactly what he was talking about. He kept pace with him, just one step behind. His hands gripped the spear tightly and Lloyd could feel him gathering mana already.

The walked down the hallway, their shadows stretching and wavering along the wall beside them. They moved silently, as one, listening to the soldiers ahead of them.

Lloyd moved ahead as began chanting under his breath. He heard the tiled floor rumble just head beneath the soldiers. They stopped talking, startled, questioning the motions. One lifted his head just as Lloyd first sword slid through his neck and his other arched with flick of his wrist, slashing his partner's with a clean sweep.

Both dropped as Genis walked up behind him, looking at them with mixed feelings.

"Controlled spells. You are improving." Lloyd glanced at him, wiping the blade clean as he stepped over the bodies.

"Thanks, figure cancelling it would be better than letting the stones clatter and alert everyone." Genis hesitated before walking around them following Lloyd. "Shouldn't we...move them?"

"Why?"

Genis hesitated. "So they don't draw attention. What if someone finds them?"

"Then I guess they'll know we're here, won't they?" He glanced at his friend with a smirk, one that Genis quickly mimicked and they hurried down the hall.

The next hour was a slaughter. Both left a trail of bodies behind them, walking steadily deeper into the ranch. It was only in the past fifteen minutes that the alarm finally sounded. By then they had killed nearly forty soldiers.

"Lloyd, are you sure this is the way?" Genis shouted over the wailing siren.

"Yes." Lloyd shouted back, pausing looking at the door before nodding. A sharp twist of the handle shattered the lock and he pushed it open easily. "Now, Genis."

The Desians lurched from their seats as the pair entered the room, but Genis' rushed past Lloyd and slammed his spear into the first soldier's stomach. Immediately a pulse of wind surged outwards throwing the Desians back against the consoles and computers. Papers rustled and fluttered around Lloyd as he rushed forward, sliding his swords in and out of Desians. Genis ripped his own spear free and whacked one upside the head with a sickening crack. He blew his sweaty bangs out of his face, watching Lloyd finish off the others.

"Shut the door, Genis." Lloyd waved at him, moving towards one of the consoles. He pulled a body off the keyboard, studying the screen as his fingers drifted over the keys.

Genis walked over, watching him curiously. "Since when do you know anything about computers?" The wailing siren muffled by the door suddenly stilled as Lloyd straightened, moving to a second computer.

"Yuan thought it necessary to teach me." His eyes skimmed the files before quickly bringing up a map. "Come here, Genis."

"Genis frowned moving closer, looking at the map. "What?"

"See this? This is where the prisons are. This here is the nearest exit. I'll take you as far as the prisons. Your job is to get them out."

Studying the map, Genis frowned looking at him. "What about you? I mean what are you going to do?"

Lloyd narrowed his eyes, placing a finger on one section on the map. "I have some, unfinished business here."

"What's there?"

"Forcystus, most likely." He straightened, cleaning his swords. "Do you think you can handle it?"

"I want to help you." Genis frowned, straightening. "We can free the prisoners then go back for Forcystus, Lloyd."

"No."

"Lloyd—"

"This is my fight—" Lloyd turned heading for the door.

"He killed Marble!" Lloyd stopped at Genis' shout, turning slightly. "I'm coming whether you want me to or not."

"What about the prisoners," Lloyd replied flatly.

"Isn't this why you came here, Lloyd? Is this about revenge or saving Chocolat?" Genis frowned moving up to him.

Lloyd hesitated, considering his words. His swords clinked slightly, his grip tight. "I suppose both."

"Then why can't I avenge Marble too. We both killed her Lloyd." He lowered his voice.

Sighing, Lloyd closed his eyes. "Fine. Prisoners, then we go after Forcystus."

He tried to ignore the smug, victorious smirk on Genis' face. Still, he chuckled shaking his head.

* * *

"There are a lot of them." He whispered, peering around Lloyd.

"Yes."

"We're still doing it then?"

"Yes. Can you do it?"

Genis paused, thinking, then peeked around Lloyd again. "Yeah, I can do it."

"Then let's go."

The moved together. They rushed out, side by side. Genis stopped after a few feet as Lloyd rushed straight for the cluster of Desians.

"There they are! Get 'em!"

_Fools,_ Lloyd smirked, as they rushed towards them.

"From the land of the living, I call upon thee in the land of the dead to unleash your fury of thunder!"

Lloyd ignored the way the room crackled with static, the pull of mana to the center of the Desians. They tried to scatter and he slashed their legs making them fall to the ground. Above him, the mana gathered rumbling and crackling and he thrust his sword in once, around him the energy swirling.

At the last, minute he gathered his own mana forcing it outside his body, crossing his swords as he knelt among the Desians.

"Indignation!" Genis' voice echoed in the room and the beam slammed down, reflected by Lloyd's mana shield. The Desians cried out in pain as the pure mana overloaded their bodies and Lloyd watched through the green shimmer of the shield as they slumped around him.

The spell faded and he rose, his own shield dissipating. He glanced at them then at Genis as he walked up slowly. The look they shared was solemn, but relieved as they both turned towards the cells.

Silence lingered and Lloyd moved towards the control panel, taking a moment to figure the controls and open the cells.

"Is everyone alright?" Genis moved towards the cells, his carefree voice making Lloyd smiled. The bodies around him weighed heavily on his shoulders. They were each a burden. How many had he killed? How would Yggdrasill act once he found out—?

His grip tightened, bending the metal edge of the panel. He wouldn't find out, at least, not about his involvement. There would be no proof. There would be no evidence. There would be nothing left when he was through...

"That's him. See! That's him! That's the guy that healed me!"

Lloyd's eyes drifted up uncomprehendingly. Somewhere in his mind, he made the connection that they were talking about him. He stared at the man pointing at him, the shape of his face and the color of his eyes. He was familiar—yes, he was the foolish man that had spoken out that day.

Moving around the panel, Lloyd walked towards him, eyes locked on the young man. Some of the prisoners backed away instinctively, but the young man stood. "I told them what you did. They didn't believe me."

"Why would they. I am a member of Cruxis." Lloyd's automatic response left his mouth without a thought. He didn't like the uncertainty that suddenly flashed through the man's face. It made him feel ill about himself. He didn't want to push people away, but he just did. Just like his father always did...

"Th-then that means you are betraying them. We all saw you kill the Desians, you and your friend. You saved us!"

Lloyd blinked, raising his eyebrow curiously at the flash of stubbornness in the young man. It felt familiar. It felt warm and familiar to him, like a thought he had pushed aside. Like a memory, brought back suddenly. Yes, he smirked to himself.

His eyes studied the man then nodded. "Yes, I suppose you did."

"L-Lloyd? Genis?"

Lloyd stiffened ever so slightly. The voice was different. The tone was wrong, more supple and deep. It didn't have that high-pitch keen of a child to it. This was a woman's voice, but he'd never mistake it.

He turned his head to look down at Chocolat. Her hair was pulled back loosely. Her prison clothes and skin smeared with sweat, dust and grime. The years told on her face, the shadows under her eyes and the paleness of her skin. She looked a lot like her mother, despite it.

She looked at him in disbelief, her eyes passing from him to Genis as if unable to comprehend what she was seeing. "You're—you're here..."

Genis smiled, a stark contrast to Lloyd's solemn stare. "Yes. We kept our promise Chocolat. We—"

"Your promise? Do you know how many years that's been—"

"Does it matter?"

All eyes turned to Lloyd. The recognized him, he knew. The other prisoners, the way they looked at him in awe or stunned silence. He didn't know how many were from his past, it didn't matter really. His gaze fixated on Chocolat as he strode towards her. "You chose to refuse our help. Still, we deserved your spite and you didn't deserve to be punished for our mistakes. It has been years, but that doesn't change the fact that we are here now. You are alive and you have a chance at freedom. It's time you went home to your mother, Chocolat."

He watched her eyes widen then lower in guilt and shame. The tears came and Lloyd turned aside walking past her shaking form. He wondered how the seven years had changed her. She had been a prisoner as he had been, forced to adapt and change to suit the rules and status of their masters. She was strong, but even the strong bow and he knew he had broken that shackle anchoring her to the ground. She was free.

"Genis."

The young half-elf came up beside him. "You're a jerk to make her cry."

"She's happy."

Genis frowned, glancing back over his shoulder at the crying girl. "Oh, well, you're still a jerk.

Lloyd smirked weakly, eyeing the doors. "I want you to take them out of here."

"We made a deal, Lloyd. We take them out and we fight Forcystus together."

"You make it sound like I have no choice."

"You don't." Genis frowned, setting his spear butt on the ground with a soft tap. "This is 'our' fight, Lloyd. There is no 'you' anymore. We started this together and that's how we'll finish it, you ass."

He smiled slowly, his eyes closing as he chuckled. "You make a compelling argument."

"I try. Now lead us out of here so we can get to the action."

Lloyd raised an eyebrow. "Little bloodthirsty are we?"

"Damn right."

Lloyd smirked and then nodded, turning and walking to the set of doors they came in through. "You will follow Genis quietly and orderly. I will follow at the end. Once outside of the ranch, you can either wait outside the gates or make your way to Iselia. Understood?"

He waited, eyeing the group until he got a collective agreement of murmurs and nodding heads. His eyes scanned the ragged figures. The old and young, men and women, all watching him with frightened hopeful eyes, clinging to one another in weak comfort. Lloyd looked at Genis nodding. "Lead the way."

Genis nodded eagerly, calling out for them to follow. They did, hesitant and uncertain, but willing. Lloyd watched a moment, his eyes drifting to the side where the doors beckoned. It would be simple to just walk through them and continue on his way. He could find Forcystus and whatever lackeys remained in this hellhole.

"Lloyd?"

He blinked, turning his gaze back to the other doors. Chocolat stood staring at him, waiting. He gripped the hilt at his side and moved towards her. "I'm coming."

She waited until he was next to her and they walked through the doors together, the last prisoners just ahead of them. "You're different."

Lloyd frowned but accepted the observation. "As are you."

"Yes. I suppose we've both...grown up." She spoke haltingly, awkward. He felt her eyes on him and when he glanced to meet them, they held an odd look. It was a gleam or a glow of some kind, of amazement or awe. It made him feel uncomfortable and he looked away quickly.

He heard the smile in her voice. "You're really tall."

"Yes."

She fell silent, still casting a side-glance at him every so often. "So you really came here... for me?"

Lloyd stiffened at her tone, the insinuation. "I came because I made a promise I would."

"Even after all these years?" Chocolat asked slowly.

"Yes. I felt I owe it to your family. It was my fault and Genis' your grandmother died, as was your capture."

"Oh." The disappointment was there. Slightly. "Thank you. For coming. I didn't think...you would."

"You're welcome," Lloyd replied simply.

"Everyone said that you had failed. Well that the Chosen did." She frowned, looking at him.

"It's a lie." Lloyd frowned.

"But then why are the Desians still—"

"It is beyond your comprehension." He frowned. "Do not blame Colette for something you know nothing about."

Chocolat's dark eyes widen then lowered, glancing aside. Lloyd felt a moment of guilt, but it was quickly dismissed. He was tired of the accusations thrown upon Colette.

"I'm sorry. I had forgotten; she is your friend."

He glanced at her. _My fiancé. _He nodded in hesitation. "Yes, she is."

"She is lucky." Her smile surprised him. "Lucky to have someone like you to defend her."

Lloyd hesitated, then closed his eyes, smirking. "I suppose so."

"So that explains it." A low chuckle interrupted and Lloyd stiffened. In a smooth motion, he grabbed Chocolat's arm and pulled her behind him, a sword in his other hand.

Forcystus walked forward casually, adjusting the heavy cannon on his arm, not bothering to acknowledge Lloyd's stance. Lloyd ignored the taunt, keeping his hand loosely upon the hilt and carefully pushed Chocolat further. "Go, Chocolat."

"So protective of the human rats that linger in these halls, aren't you boy?" Forcystus eyes lifted suddenly, hard and enraged. "I shouldn't be a surprised since you were born of the same filth."

"As were you, Forcystus." Lloyd answered levelly, giving Chocolat another firm push backwards. Why didn't the stupid girl run?

Forcystus smiled coldly, his eyes narrowing. "Yes, I suppose I was, still, I don't mingle with them as you and your father seem to do."

"I suppose that is where our differences clash then, isn't it?" Lloyd's eyes narrowed, studying Forcystus' position. With a quick twist, he turned and glared at Chocolat. "Run!"

In that instant, Forcystus rushed forward, brandishing his massive cannon arm like a club. Lloyd rolled his body to the side, tripping Chocolat as the metal arm passed over her head and clashed with a sword inches from Lloyd's cheek.

"Lloyd!" Chocolat's belated warning echoed in the hallway and both men smirked as they glared at one another.

"Such concern she has for you? Perhaps you could show her the same gratitude you showed her dear old grandmother." The cannon quivered as Lloyd held the sword firmly, his face betraying no sign of effort as Forcystus leaned in. "I'm sure you remember our first encounter quite well."

Lloyd narrowed his eyes and shoved the half-elf back, freeing his second sword as he stepped forward with a sweep of his arm. The metal whistled through the air as Forcystus leaped back, laughing in amusement as he lowered his cannon. "Yes, I do remember."

He ignored Chocolat's pale face as she struggled off the floor. He stepped towards the Cardinal, forcing him back and away from the girl. Sword and cannon flashed in an array of sparks and echoing clamour, their shadows rippling across the walls.

"Lloyd!" Chocolat called again, but he ignored her still, his eyes watching the slide of Forcystus' foot and the angle of his arm. He felt the mana stir and he rushed forward, slamming his blades against the heavy, gold metal as the wind slashed the air behind him. He smirked at the stunned expression and shoved the half-elf back effortlessly, following him with slow steps.

"You'll have to be faster than that."

"So I see." Forcystus returned the smirk as he retreated back into the prison room. "I must say I am impressed, Young Aurion, but speed is only one strategy." A snap of his fingers as Lloyd stepped through the doors made him quickly dodge to the side, rolling to his feet as the wind whipped through his hair. A quiet hum made him dart his eyes upwards as he watched wind-drones hover above them.

"I happen to like a challenge." Lloyd lowered his eyes to Forcystus, stepping to the right as another weak wind spell ruffled his hair and clothes, the cutting wind missing by inches.

"As do I." The half-elf's words cut off as the clang of his cannon opened, the pale glowing light illuminating as it surged to life. Lloyd chuckled then rushed forward, dodging a third spell and then leapt to the left as the cannon fired mana at him. His sword angled up, clashing with the open sheath of the cannon, jarring Forcystus.

Three drones hummed around above him, distracting his attention as he feinted and thrust at the half-elf's shoulder, resulting in a deflected clang. He ducked and rolled as more mana shot over him, the pure energy heated as it brushed above his skin.

He stepped back quickly, twisting and turning his right sword towards a drone. Lightning crackled and coiled around the blade as it shot towards the drone. A loud bang and sizzling smoke erupted from the machine as it clattered to the floor.

Lloyd immediately ducked as Forcystus swung his cannon arm at him. Before he could roll aside, the mana shifted and he grunted as wind blade slashed his face and hands. He tightened his grip but Forcystus' knee slammed into his chin and he fell back. He rolled aside as the cannon slammed into the tiled floor, cracking it. Lloyd pushed to his feet, sidestepping another wind spell as he wiped the blood from his cheek and chin.

"So angels do bleed." Forcystus panted with a smile. He lifted his cannon with a jerk, its weight telling on the half-elf.

Lloyd leaned on one leg, keeping an eye on the drones circling above them. "I'm sure you are disappointed." His own voice clear and his breathing calm.

"Only to know you are weaker than many believe."

"Only fools believe that."

Forcystus laughed, twisting his cannon to level it at Lloyd, his other arm supporting it. "I doubt that."

Lloyd raised an eyebrow, watching the cannon light up again. He dodged another spell and twisted to cast another lightning at it only to barely dodge a second. The drones were irritatingly effective in distracting him. By the time he was able to focus on Forcystus, he was forced to turn aside from his cannon attack.

The sliding of a door caught his attention, his eyes flitted to the side, and he frowned. Desians spilled into the room, rushing forward to help their leader. Lloyd cursed under his breath and he rushed at Forcystus. The half-elf's eyes widen and lowered his cannon as he jerked his head back, narrowly missing a swipe from Lloyd's blade, a thin red line on the man's cheek. Lloyd quickly stepped on the groove of the cannon and shoved upwards his wings pushing and unfolding from his back. A hard flap made the drones wobble and he rose above them.

"Fire at him, men!" Forcystus' voice boomed from below and Lloyd angled back swooping and slashing a drone in half as it clattered among the cluster of men. Lloyd heard them, clicking bolts into their crossbows and he quickly turned to seek out the final drone before they could fire.

The first whistled by his leg, two more by his arms. One went through his wing, making him grunt in discomfort from the sensation. It wasn't until he felt the sudden burn on his left shoulder that he carelessly remembered Forcystus' cannon. He faltered in his flight and he cursed as he heard the series of clicks of the crossbows.

Then a shudder shook the room and an explosion of spiked rocks erupted beneath the Desians, impaling a few unfortunate ones as they rose. "Lloyd, are you okay?"

Lloyd smiled weakly, sighing as he spotted Genis striding through the doors, the cocky grin on his face. "I'm fine, Genis."

"Just because I showed up! Didn't I say wait for me?" Genis shouted up as he twisted his spear and thrust it into a charging Desian. "Eruption!"

Fire and heated mana bubbled and expanded out, causing the men to scream and curse as it scorched their skin.

Lloyd twisted and rammed his sword into the final drone, gliding down to land beside Genis, decapitating a Desian coming from Genis' right. "You were late."

Genis scoffed and rammed his spear through one Desian, grunting and pivoting as he twisted and threw his foot into a second. "Still saved your ass."

A chuckle drew their attention and Lloyd quickly shoved Genis to the ground as the cannon fired towards them. "Now we are even," Lloyd muttered, straightening to face Forcystus.

"A young half-elf comes to your aid. How ironic, to cut down your own brethren to save this traitor."

Genis scoffed and got up, jerking his spear free and slamming the butt end into the head of another soldier. "I am not your brethren. I'm more Lloyd's brother, than I'd ever be yours."

Lloyd glanced at him before Forcystus' laugh drew his attention again.

The elder half-elf lowered his cannon, his energy drained and Lloyd lowered his own swords. The battle was practically done.

"Was he your brother when he cut down that old woman? Or when he betrayed you and joined Cruxis?"

Genis gritted his teeth. "That has nothing to do with it—"

"The way I see it, Genis, it does. Lloyd is no more your brother than he is human. He is a traitorous angel of Cruxis and Yggdrasill will claim his disobedient pet and punish him for his poor behaviour. And like the dog he is, his training will make him obedient again—" he choked, sputtering as he gripped the wooden shaft suddenly sticking out of his chest and he dropped to his knees.

Lloyd wiped his blades and sheathed them as he watched Genis approach Forcystus. His hands were clenched at his sides and he walked stiffly with anger. "Lloyd isn't some...dog," he hissed as he grabbed the spear shaft and twisted it, making the half-elf choke again. "He's my friend. My best friend."

He tore the spear free stepping back as the half slid and fell to the ground with a few choking breaths.

Lloyd stared at his friend, walking over and placing a hand on his shaking shoulder. "Let's go. It's over."

Genis nodded slowly and his voice shook as he looked up and smiled weakly. "Yeah."

* * *

It was still early dawn, but people were milling around the streets in their nightclothes pointing and staring at the column of smoke rising from the forest. The explosion most likely shook them from their beds and brought them to the streets. The prisoners huddled together in shock and disbelief as they entered the town—for many—the first time in years. An elderly woman finally noticed them, exclaiming in shock and pointing towards them. A large crowd turned and rushed forward at her call.

Lloyd allowed the prisoners to brush past him as they ran to their families and loved ones. The voices and exclamation chorused through the town. Many cried and hugged one another, others laughing and some merely standing looking around in disbelief.

Turning his eyes to the smoke, Lloyd wondered how he would explain himself to the others, much less his father. Kratos wouldn't be happy about this, but Lloyd would deal with that later. Genis had gone back to the house to explain the explosion. He winced at the thought of his friend meeting Raine's wrath.

Right now though, he turned his eyes back to the happy reunion with an odd feeling of comfort. They had destroyed the ranch, exploding it as Raine had done to the others and Lloyd felt no regret.

He stepped forward, walking around the people, practically ignored, which he didn't mind. A few prisoners took his hand to shake, women hugging and weeping against him in gratitude. He even had children hug his leg. It was uncomfortable attention, but he couldn't help but smile weakly, grateful for their happiness.

Only one stood alone, awkwardly among the chaos and he approached her slowly. "There will be those who will take you in until you can return to Palmacosta."

Chocolat turned in surprise, looking up at him before smiling. "Oh, yes."

Lloyd looked at her a moment before taking her hand. She looked at him in surprise but he merely lifted it to look at the exsphere. "You'll remember not to remove it."

"Yes," she answered quietly. "I remember what you said happened to Grandma." She hesitated, looking at him as she placed her other hand around his.

Lloyd lifted his eyes to hers as she smiled and he quickly released her hand. "Good. Try not to leave before Dirk can fashion an accessory for it. It'll protect you."

"I won't leave."

Lloyd eyed her, frowning slightly. "Chocolat—"

"Lloyd, I..." She paused, taking in his face and then quickly rose on her toes kissing his cheek lightly, startling him. "Thank you."

He looked at her lightly flushed cheeks and nodded. "You're welcome, Chocolat." With that, he turned and walked away from her. He knew she would be safe now. She would return to her mother and they would resume their lives. The scars wouldn't leave and the years never replaced, but she would move on. She was strong...

"You are responsible for this chaos!"

He stopped mid-step, his eyes narrowing before he closed them. The heavy breathing and heavy steps alerted him immediately of who his accuser was, even if he hadn't already recognized the voice. He turned slowly to face the man.

The years hadn't been kind to the old mayor and Lloyd couldn't help but find grim satisfaction in the receding hairline and more evident white streaks in his hair. His face was flushed and dark. He wasn't as Lloyd had remembered; the hard, remorseless eyes and overbearing figure as he was banished from the village. He was just a spoiled old man. The guilt remained as did his anger and resentment. He had been at fault, but the accusations stung. Words had been said that couldn't be taken back, words a teenager took to heart and self-blame.

Perhaps it was his sudden shift in attitude towards his life, or the way he was standing. Something made the man stop and stare in stunned silence up at Lloyd. He was a good head shorter than Lloyd was now and Lloyd made a point of looking down in silent disdain.

"You! L-Lloyd!"

Lloyd studied him a moment, then turned and proceeded to walk away from him. It must have taken the Mayor a moment to regain his composure, as Lloyd was a good distance before the accusations started again.

"You are not welcomed here, Lloyd Irving! Get out!"

The words rang in his ears and he stopped walking, recalling the fire and the taste of smoke, the frowns, the harsh words and the smell of death in the air.

'_Lloyd and Genis are hereby banished from the Village of Iselia. Get out!'_

"No."

A hushed silence had settled over the village. Villagers and prisoners alike watched on, the crowd gathering. Many wore frowns and confusion, whispering among them growing. Lloyd's eyes locked with the Mayor's, the older man seething in rage and frustration. "You were banished, or do you forget how you burned down half the village!"

"I haven't." Lloyd answered levelly. "And I will leave once I have finished my business here."

"You have no business here! You bring nothing but trouble with you! You destroyed the village and killed dozens of people because of your actions! You caused that miserable Chosen to fail and curse her as well and now you bring these heathens—"

The crack echoed through the quiet village, the shout and coughing the only noise as the Mayor stumbled back and thumped to the dirt road holding his bleeding nose. Lloyd lowered his fist, watching the pitiful man moan and choke on the blood before stepping towards him slowly.

"How dare you assault me, you bastard boy! I'll have you—" He choked as Lloyd grabbed the front of his shirt and slammed him into the side of the building, leaving his feet dangling as he sputtered and called for help.

"Call me what you like, but I will not allow you to insult my fiancé. Colette cared more about your worthless hide than you ever did about this village. You insult your own villagers, people who have suffered because of your own cowardice." He leaned closer, watching the old man's eyes widen further in fear and he frown in disgust. "If I ever hear you speak ill of Colette again, I'll cut your tongue from that fat mouth of yours. Perhaps then we'll be free of your nonsensical ranting." He dropped him, letting him crumple pitifully to the ground as he stepped back. "And if these people have any sense, they'll be kind enough to let you retire. Soon, I would think."

Lloyd turned his back on him, ignoring the quiet murmurings and awed whispers. A few clapped their hands and a general voice of agreements rose to cheer him on. However, his silence allowed it to drift away and they let him pass.

He closed his eyes sighing and taking a breath as he moved further into the village, the old familiarity returning as he drew close to Colette's childhood home. In nearly half a day, he would be married to Colette. It made him nervous to suddenly think about it and he was standing before her father's door, raising his hand to knock before he even realized it.

Frank answered it shortly. His shock gave Lloyd a moment to collect himself and look upon the weathered man. Many memories flickered in his mind and he swallowed as Frank exclaimed.

"Lloyd? Is that you?" The shocked changed to a wrinkled smile and a clasping hand on his shoulder. "Colette always believed you were. I suppose we should have trusted her."

Lloyd smiled weakly, nodding. "Yes. She said something similar."

The old eyes widen, hope and surprise showing. "You have seen her? She would be so glad. How is she?"

"She is well, in fact..." Lloyd closed his eyes taking a breath. "If I may come in, I have something I'd like to ask you, Frank."

**Please Review.**


	32. Chapter 32

**So, I'm sorry this is late. I had trouble getting it started and then got a new job with really odd hours, which didn't help. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait. I know a lot of you have been waiting for this for a while now. Thanks for the reviews, as always, greatly appreciated. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia

**Chapter 32:**

"So how did it go?"

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Yes, Genis."

"Then why are you shaking like that?"

Lloyd cast an irritated glance at his friend, who just grinned in return. "Hey, knock it off with the dirty looks. You owe me for saving your ass last night."

"I was handling the situation fine. You just happened to intervene at a difficult moment."

"Sure." Genis smirked and tugged at his clothes. The short notice didn't leave much imagination for formal wear and Lloyd didn't expect much. But to all the men's surprise, the women managed to conjure up suitable clothing for most of them. Lloyd was satisfied with his outfit from Tethe'alla. He still found the clothing restricting, but comfortable for the most part.

"So Frank's okay with it?"

"Yes, Genis." Lloyd repeated, exasperated.

"Hey, I'm just surprised that's all. I mean you didn't give the man much noticed and all."

Lloyd frowned slightly, unable to argue with Genis. He recalled the tense conversation with Colette's father. One of a warm welcome, curiosity and guilt as Lloyd explained his absence and sudden return. Though, Frank had been more than understanding as Lloyd finished his explanation.

"I'm just glad for your safe return." Frank gripped his hands in a fatherly manner across the table before releasing him. Lloyd masked his guilt, knowing his tale of abduction wasn't completely honest. He had left out much of Cruxis involvement, not naming his captors. He kept his tale vague and brief for the most part. Frank didn't deserve to be caught up in the chaos.

"Thank you." He nodded, sliding his hands back. "It is good to be back."

"Have you visited your father? Dirk? I haven't seen him in years, not since he asked about you here in town." Frank poured two cups of tea, sliding a cup towards him.

"Yes, I just saw him recently. He's doing well and it was good to see him."

Frank smiled tiredly, sipping his tea. His expression fell as he lowered his cup, gazing at the steam. "I'm sure you've heard news of Colette's banishment. I feel ashamed I did nothing to stop it. She didn't deserve that. No one does." He shook his head, rubbing his face. "I haven't heard from her since it happened and I feel like I've abandoned her."

"She doesn't think that." Lloyd immediately corrected him. "If anything, she fears she will endanger your life. She misses you, but she holds no bitterness towards you."

Frank smiled, the lines on his face etching his age across his face. He saw Colette in his smile, the kindness and gentle demeanour.

"Thank you, Lloyd. I am glad you have each other once again. She was always happier with you around."

Lloyd lowered his head, tracing his fingers along the smooth china. "That is part of the reason I've come to you, Frank." The older man tilted his head, inviting him to continue. "I came to ask you for your daughter's hand."

Their eyes met and Lloyd didn't dare breathe. He watched Frank lean back in his chair, a shaken hand rubbing his mouth as he stared at Lloyd. For a split moment, Lloyd considered what he'd do in order to convince Lloyd to let him marry Colette. He would do anything—

"Marry."

Lloyd refocused, returning Frank's gaze. "Yes, Sir."

Frank shook his head slowly, then leaned forward as if searching for something Lloyd was hiding. Deception? Lies? Distrust?

"You have asked her already, haven't you?"

The question startled Lloyd and he took a moment to fumble for an answer. "Yes, I have."

"Then why come to me asking for what you already took?"

There was a hardness to his voice. Fatherly protectiveness showed openly and Lloyd carefully considered his words. "I would not feel obligated to marry Colette without your blessing, Frank."

"You've grown, Lloyd, in many ways." The smile was slow, but warm and Lloyd breathed out slowly.

"Thank you."

"It is nothing to thank me for. It is a fact." He leaned back once again, still studying him. "You left this village a rash boy with noble intentions and returned a mature man with noble heart. Dirk should be proud of the man you've become. Your mother too."

Lloyd stayed silent, feeling the weight of his words. He felt guilty, yet gratified by his words. He wondered if Frank would still say such things if he knew the truth.

"I will give you my blessing," Frank said with a smile. "If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to know the date when you decide."

"Actually, it's this afternoon."

Genis laughed loudly, making others turn their heads questioningly. Lloyd cracked a weak smile, nudging Genis in the side. "You're making a scene."

Ignoring him, Genis grinned. "I can just imagine what Frank's face looked like. Did he choke on his tea?"

"No, but he was definitely a little flustered." He rubbed his neck. "I suppose I shouldn't have left it for the last minute."

"Well duh," Genis snorted. "I think you just lucky you gave Dirk a heads up. He probably would have reacted differently."

Lloyd smiled and located the dwarf, standing next to Kratos. "Yeah, he wasn't happy with the notice I did give him."

"So, is it awkward?"

"Hmm?"

"Having both of them here?" Genis gestured towards the two men.

Lloyd frowned slightly then shook his head. "No, not particularly. I suppose I'm not exactly dwelling on the thought and they seem fairly at ease with one another."

Genis smirked. "At least Dirk is. Kratos looks a little stiff. Reminds me when we first saw the bastard."

"Yes, I suppose so." He nodded, smiling as well, but it faded as he glanced at the house, tugging at his clothes again.

"It's kind of weird."

"What is?"

"You and Colette, getting married and all. I don't know, it makes you guys seem kind of old. I mean me and Presea just turned nineteen and I wouldn't even think about like...well you know." His cheeks brightened and he cleared his throat. Lloyd refrained from humiliating his friend further and kept silent.

"I don't know, I mean you guys are getting married and having a kid and my biggest worry is if I'm going to past that final exam in a month. It just, feels weird to me."

Lloyd gripped his shoulder firmly. "I'm glad that's all you have to worry about Genis. It's not that we are moving ahead of you. We have our own paces and a few months before, I never believed I'd be standing here today. It's a bit surreal for all of us."

"Well, I guess, but...I just feel like you are leaving me behind again." He frowned looking at the house. "You left once and came back, but you were a bastard—you still are, don't get me wrong, but now, it's like you're back." His head lifted, locking eyes with him. "I just feel like this is going to put a new wedge between us."

"It won't."

"How do you know that?" Genis muttered, looking aside.

"Because I won't let it."

He waited for a response, but he couldn't see Genis' face. He couldn't tell what he was thinking. Then the boy laughed quietly, brushing his bangs back a bit, turning to look up at him. "Yeah...Okay. I think I can believe in that."

His response puzzled Lloyd, but he left it alone. Genis' words had a comfortable feeling about them. He smiled weakly, taking a breath and leaned back against the building.

"So how did you manage to escape Raine unscathed? Or have you not explained what happened last night?"

"No, I told her. She was mad. Like, really mad and she did smack me upside the head."

"That's it?" Lloyd raised an eyebrow. "Seems a little unlike her."

"Well, since I told her it was all your idea, I assume she's saving her wrath for you."

"Heh, I see. I appreciate your thoughtfulness."

Genis shrugged casually glancing at him, and they both chuckled quietly.

* * *

"What are you doing here?"

Yuan glanced over, not overly surprised he was caught. The woman was as ever suspicious.

"I seemed to have lost my invitation to the wedding."

"You didn't get one."

"Hmm." He looked back towards the house. "I suppose he has his reasons."

Raine folded her arms, sighing. "He does, I'm sure."

"Are you going to tattle on me for being here?"

"It'd do little good as far as I see, unless you have intentions of crashing the wedding."

"Hardly. I'm a little...surprised to see him actually marrying her."

Raine looked at him for a moment. "You didn't know?"

"I only recently discovered she was still alive, thanks to your brother. Unintentional slip up on his part, but useful nevertheless." He paused. "I didn't expect him to be marrying her, so quickly."

"You're hurt?"

"Pardon?" Yuan glanced at her.

"That he didn't tell you." Raine turned to face him. "It's obvious considering your behaviour hasn't been the least bit obnoxious since I started talking to you."

Scoffing, Yuan frowned and looked back at group. He could see Lloyd talking to his friends as if nothing had ever happened. Even Genis seemed at ease with the whole situation. Hurt? Yuan snorted at the idea. Secrets are what kept a person alive and he respected Lloyd's ability, as a colleague, to carry out one so well. He explained as much to Raine.

"Then as a friend, you feel betrayed." Raine pressed, but with less of her usual callousness. "He keeps secrets not to keep himself alive, Yuan, but to keep others. Whatever, relationship you have with him as a 'colleague' shouldn't be damaged because he worried for the safety of everyone here."

"If such a relationship existed, it wouldn't be damaged on something like this," he countered with a frown.

"Well then, for whatever reason you sought him out, perhaps it can wait until tomorrow. Let him have his day, Yuan."

"I am not a wedding crasher, Raine." He glanced at her then back at Lloyd. "I'll stay for the wedding, but I'll let him have his night in paradise. But paradise doesn't exist long when you live on the run."

Raine eyed him for a moment, but Genis' voice calling her name made her turn. "I'm sure he'll appreciate your consideration, Yuan."

"He better," he murmured, watching Raine return to the group. His eyes drifted back towards Lloyd and he smiled, shaking his head, muttering to himself. "Congratulations, Lloyd."

* * *

She bit her lip, wringing her hands anxiously as she glanced at her father. He had been awfully quite since he had seen her and learned of the baby. Colette wasn't sure what to say to him. She felt a little ashamed that he had to find out this way, along with the whole wedding and everything. Her only regret was she hadn't been able to include him in her life.

"Father," she started hesitantly.

He raised his eyes slowly, looking at her. He was overwhelmed so she just smiled and reached for his hand. "I'm glad you're here."

"Yes, I'm sorry, Colette." He grasped her hand tightly between his, smiling. It was a real smile and Colette sighed in relief and hugged her father tightly. "You look beautiful. Just like you mother."

Colette smiled and pulled back, kissing his cheek as she did. "I wish she could be here."

"I'm sure she is." Frank answered gently. "How...How far along are you?"

"Almost six months, now." She answered slowly, suddenly self-conscious of herself. She no longer could hide the evident baby bump. She felt huge, though all her friends and even Lloyd reassured she looked fine. The white wedding gown she had designed with Raine fit perfectly, despite her swelling belly. It was simple, but elegant and the crown of white flowers and veil completed it. She still thought she looked pudgy, but all the women reassured her she was beautiful.

"Six months." Frank's stunned voice brought her back. He was looking at her belly with an almost flustered awe. Then he frowned, lifting his gaze. "It is his. It's Lloyd's?"

The heat rose to her cheeks, but she nodded. "Please don't think less of him for it—"

"Is it why he's marrying you?"

The tone stunned her for a moment and she quickly shook her head. "No, Father, that's no it at all. Well it's part of it, but we love each other. He's not doing this out of obligation, but because he wants to be with me."

"Hmm," Frank sighed, rubbing his face. "Yes, I'm sorry. This is all just sudden for me. I'm still trying to grasp the idea of you getting married."

"I...I know, Father." Colette looked at him. "I am too."

His eyes searched hers and Colette knew he was seeing something different. The little girl pattering around the kitchen table, tugging at his legs and begging for attention. She remembered the nights she'd cry in his arms, too young to understand the cruel fate she had been given, only six years old and learning she'd die.

She had learned to set aside dreams and aspirations. She lived in the moment for most of her life and now to be faced with this next step, she could understand her father's struggle. Neither had imagined her in the white dressed. Neither had imagined children and grandchildren.

Frank tried to blink away the dampness in his eyes and Colette smiled as she felt her own trickle down her cheeks. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close against him. She buried her face in his neck as he spoke softly in her ear.

"You have my blessing, Colette. I love you."

"I love you too, Father."

* * *

"You know, Bud. You are missing out on a lot of opportunities. Lots of fresh hotties out there still and you are settling for only one. You haven't even had time to explore." Zelos leaned back against the house next to Lloyd.

Lloyd was silent for a moment, both men watching the hustling people rushing in and out of the house. Raine was scolding Genis for losing something and Presea was helping Sheena set up the chairs. Off to the side, he noticed Dirk and Kratos talking quietly to each other. Zelos wondered how awkward it must be for both men.

"I won't regret it. After you spend enough time with the right one, you know you won't look at another woman the same. I suppose it's something that hit me a long time ago. She's my woman, and I won't ever take my eyes off her. I need her more than anything and that feeling is stronger than any desire for another." He didn't take his eyes off the activities.

Zelos eyed him carefully, studying the way his hands clenched nervously, the obvious attentiveness and anxiety. "Really?"

There was no hesitation in his reply, "Yes. I was afraid of losing her, but afraid to keep her close. I thought that all my secrets and problems would hurt her and endanger her, but they only pushed her away. I was not protecting her, I was losing her. So stopped wondering what would happen and I gave her a ring, and my heart."

"You know you sound really cheesy right now?" He noticed Lloyd's weak smirk and pressed. "What's the difference between then and now? A ring is just a ring. How is it any different than before?"

"No, it's more than that, Zelos. It's a bond and a promise. It's stronger than words and it brings a sense of stability." Lloyd glanced over at him, oddly serious. "Seven years I believed I had lost one of the most important aspects in my life. One of the things that anchored me when the rest of my life had been torn asunder. This isn't a promise to a goddess or a marriage between a man and a woman, it's a promise to Colette and myself that I live for her, for our child and myself. That the choices I make will have no hesitation. What I do, I do for them. I think you understand what I mean."

Zelos frowned and shrug, but he understood completely. He knew this was probably the moment Lloyd finally made the decision to push Cruxis aside, abandoning the safety and caution for defiance. He could hear it in his voice and see it on his face. It was a familiar look one he had seen on the teenage boy a long time ago.

Still, he wondered. Was it simply words? Empty words and an empty promise. If it was so simple, why hadn't he left Cruxis ages ago? Why was it now he could risk their lives?

He didn't get the chance to ask. Lloyd had walked away, towards his two fathers. Zelos watched after them, scanning the crowd until he landed on his girl. He smiled at the thought. His girl. Sheena was his, just as Colette was Lloyd's. He knew everything about her, the quirks and the eccentricities and she knew his. But marriage had always been a flimsy concept in his mind. What was the point of professing vows if one wouldn't keep them? His father surely hadn't, but perhaps that came with the situation. His parents had never loved each other, not the way Lloyd and Colette did. Not the way he and-...

Would he lose her? Sheena always hinted at wanting more. He hadn't really dwelt on it, but she always talked of children and the future. It was easy enough to push aside, but was he also pushing her away when he did? Is that what Lloyd meant?

She lifted her eyes, meeting his and she rolled them as she made her way over. The dress she wore was breathtaking, cutting her curves just right in every way. She never liked to hear it, but whenever he'd point it out, he always caught the flush in her cheeks behind her angry retorts. He suddenly what she'd look like dressed in white.

"Stop staring like an idiot. Are you coming? It's about to start." She folded her arms, frowning up at him with that impatient, yet adorable look.

"Yeah, Babe, I'm coming." He slipped his arm around her waist, twisting her as guided her along. He bent smoothly, kissing her neck, just below her ear. She squirmed in his grip, but didn't fight him. Her face brightened and he chuckled as she gently pushed his face away, scolding him.

* * *

"He's a good lad."

Kratos nodded stiffly, shifting his weight. "Yes, he is."

"Ya did the best ya could by him."

"You did better."

Dirk grunted and scoffed. "I don't know about that. He told me what all happened up thar. Ya kept him alive and raised him right. If ya didn't, he wouldn't be here right now."

"It is my fault he was taken up there in the first place."

"Aye, but ya can't live on the things done, but the things you plan ta do." The gruff dwarf turned his eyes towards Lloyd. "Ya wife gave him ta me, and I did what I could ta raise him right. But the boy makes his own choices and all ya can do is follow after him and make sure he doesn't get hurt."

Kratos swallowed, glancing down at the smaller man. He felt a number of things towards the dwarf, but between the anger and gratitude, he knew he could never condemn Dirk for adopting Lloyd. He had done more than many would have, raising a child not his own, conforming his life to fit the needs of the child's. No, Dirk was just as much Lloyd's father as he was and he accepted that.

"I never thanked you, for what you did for him. For Anna." Kratos lifted his eyes towards the grave. "You gave her peace and my son a life." His eyes returned to the dwarf. "Thank you."

Dirk just shook his head and smiled, his grizzled face pushing out. "Ya need not thank me."

Kratos didn't press, a part of him understanding. To Dirk, Lloyd was his own son and he did as any father would. To think any other way would insult the dwarf.

"I'm glad you could make it."

They both turned their heads as Lloyd approached. He was dressed handsomely and Kratos saw, for a moment, himself back during the war. A stride filled with confidence, but still retaining the eager, youthfulness of a child. Lloyd was a man, but he was a boy in many ways, forced to mature. Now he was settling back into his old life. Slowly, but signs were there. He could see it in the way he smiled—which he seemed to do more, lately—and the way he clapped Dirk on the shoulder.

"Ya clean up good, Lloyd. Colette is lucky to call ya her man."

"I am luckier to have her my wife," he corrected the dwarf.

Dirk laughed and nodded. "Aye, that be true. Now don't ya go and mess things up for her."

"I won't."

Kratos heard the finality in his voice and he couldn't help but swell with pride. He risked so much and yet never faltered. He thought of Anna and knew that Lloyd felt the same sense of duty and obligation to protect Colette. But it was also more, far more obvious to his son than it had been for Kratos. Lloyd knew what he wanted and what he felt for Colette and he wasn't going to let it slip away for a second.

"Dad."

He looked at Dirk for a moment, but the dwarf just chuckled and stepped away. Kratos corrected his gaze towards his son, feeling foolish at the misinterpretation.

"I suppose that could become a little awkward."

Kratos grunted at his son's amused face and forced the subject. "What was it?"

"I have a request."

Kratos watched the way his son eyed him, expecting Kratos to know what it was he was asking. He had a feeling. In all the preparations and the people who had arrived, there had been little discussion on who would perform the ceremony.

"No," he spoke, quick and flat.

Chuckling softly, Lloyd turned to stand beside him, shoulder to shoulder, watching Raine ordering Zelos and Genis around. "Someone has to do it."

"Frank would be more appropriate."

"He has to give Colette away." He paused, considering his words, feeling the weight before shaking his head. "Besides, he'd only know the Martel blessings from the church."

"I see." Kratos frowned.

"Dad, you're the only one with enough knowledge to perform the old ceremony."

"Yuan."

"He's not here."

"I can get him."

Lloyd chuckled again, shaking his head as he sighed.

Kratos hesitated, glancing at his son. Lloyd had asked little from him, considering how much he owed his son. But to stand be the one to marry his son to Colette seemed inappropriate after all he had done. Still...

"Do you think Mom would have liked it? Like this, I mean." Lloyd gestured. "Small and quick."

"It is not so different that ours," Kratos offered.

"So you guys did marry?" Lloyd asked. Kratos nodded, watching Lloyd frown, looking about the clearing before at his hand. "I suppose it's alright then."

Kratos smiled weakly, placing a hand on Lloyd's shoulder. "It is."

Lloyd glanced over at him, returning the smile. "So, will you do it?"

With a sigh and a chuckle, he nodded. "Yes."

* * *

Silence fell upon the clearing as the door of the house opened. Lloyd's eyes instantly lifted from the ground, his clenched hands, tight as he found her face.

The sounds of birds and the wind rustling the trees orchestrated her entrance. Her long dress brushed against the grass, swishing with the light breeze. She walked slowly, arm linked with her father's and a simply bouquet of wildflowers in her hand. Through the veil, Lloyd could see her smile, the flush of her cheeks and the shine in her eyes. Her long hair trailed along her shoulders, peeking under the veil. It was golden in the splash of sunlight through the canopy above.

He felt Genis nudge him, whispering, but he didn't hear a word, his eyes transfixed on the beauty approaching him. He swallowed, his knuckles nearly white as he struggled to collect himself.

He saw the smiles and he felt the eyes, amused and proud. A few tears on a face. Raine, his tumbling thoughts told him. It seemed so important, just for a second, before it whisked away, leaving him muddled and dumbfounded. He couldn't think, he couldn't act. He could only watch as Frank and Colette stopped before him.

She turned, wrapping her arms around the old man, kissing his cheek and whispering in his ear. He was crying, his cheeks damp, and Lloyd saw the way he continued to hold tightly to Colette's hand. But he turned and took Lloyd's before he could even react, placing Colette's within his. Frank locked eyes with him, showing his fear and his trust, giving Lloyd the most precious gift. He could only nod to the old man, before his turned to face his bride.

Kratos stood before them, but Lloyd barely noticed his presence or heard his words. He felt the cool breeze ruffling their clothes, passing over their clasped hands. He listened to the birds twittering above and around them. Noishe to the side thumped his tail, whining softly.

He heard his voice mingling with Colette's as they repeated the words Kratos spoke, gripping her hand tightly with each vow. Yes, he would protect her, stay with her, love her and cherish her. Yes, he honour her, give her his heart, his soul, his mind—anything and everything! He would give her every breath he had, everything he possessed! He would be hers until the day he died and beyond—

"If you wish to say your own vows, you may," Kratos spoke softly.

Lloyd glanced at him, briefly before looking back at Colette, startled out of his thoughts. She smiled so gently, squeezing his hand reassuringly as she started.

"Even Angels fall," she said it softly, her motherly glow haloed by the white veil around her face. "But we all have feet to get back up on and we found each other."

Lloyd swallowed, struggling to resist the urge to kiss her right then.

"I don't care how many times you fall, Lloyd. I will always be there to help you up. I will always be there to remind you where you belong, among family and friends." Her smile widened as tears glistened her cheeks.

Happy tears. Lloyd smiled gently, lifting his hand to wipe them with his thumb.

"I will be your other half, Lloyd. I will spend the rest of my life with you and never regret a moment. No matter how many times we fall."

Her words floated around them, Lloyd waiting for more, but then there was silence and he struggled to find his tongue. All eyes moved to him, waiting for his response. There were so many words he wanted to say to her. So many words and thoughts had stormed his mind, demanding to be spoken and professed to her. But when he looked into her eyes, only one thought prevailed the others. Only one emotion and feeling.

"I love you."

He ignored the quiet chuckles of the adults. His words were childish and 'cute', he knew, but it was the first thing that came to him and the only thing that would never fail. Her smile made his face heat up.

Clearing his throat, he struggled further. "I love you..." he stammered again, feeling the burning in his cheeks and ears, but he kept his eyes on her. "If I am your fallen angel, then you are the one who has given me my wings back. I was lost and you...Colette, you brought me back. You brought me back from hell. I would give my life for you...for you and our child." His hand lifted cupping her cheek, his smile spreading, a wave of euphoric happiness rushing through him. "You are my angel, Colette."

He heard the awes, the applause. Kratos spoke, reciting more of the ceremony but it was beyond him. Beyond him and Colette. Beyond the right then and now and none of it mattered.

His lips found hers, warm and soft. He felt her surprise, her smile and then her arms slipping around his neck, deepening the kiss. Distantly, he heard laughter and cheers, but it was drowned out by the pounding of his heart, the warmth of her mouth on his and trembling through his body as he pulled her close. She was his and he was hers.

Nothing else mattered.

**Lots of fluff. I don't think I've written so much fluff in one chapter before. There isn't even any angst. Maybe that's why I had so much trouble, I struggle with the fluff.**

**Review Please.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Listening to **Reach Out for the Sky**. I'm really, really, sorry for the delay. This chapter was being difficult and between getting ready for university, work and family problems, it was hard to focus on it. I'll try to get a head start on the next chapter. Thank you everyone for being patient and understanding. I hope you enjoy the chapter. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 33:**

"Are you sure you don't need to rest?"

She smiled over his fussing, brushing her bangs from her eyes to look up at the clear blue sky. It felt odd to be travelling again, after months of being in one spot. But the thrill was there as well, trekking across the world with Lloyd, just like they used to.

"We can rest over there by those trees. They are sheltered and—"

Well almost the same.

"I'm fine, Lloyd, really, as long as we go slowly." She smiled to help reassure him, but the concern in his brow and eyes made her shake her head with amusement. It was hard to believe that just the other day she was saying her vows to him. Now they are on their way to Luin, left early in the morning.

"Alright, but tell me as soon as you feel even a little bit tired."

He tried to put authority in his tone, but she could only giggle, making him red with frustration. Squeezing his hand, she looked back over her shoulder. Iselia was far behind them and Triet coming ever nearer. She could already feel the difference in temperatures.

They didn't know. At least not yet. Lloyd had been insistent on their move being as quiet as possible. Kratos had offered to stay behind to ease their worries and give them the basic details of why the newlyweds had vanished, but Colette still felt guilty, abandoning her friends.

"We should have told them," Colette spoke up, hesitant.

"I don't want to risk it. At least, not right now. After the Ranch incident, the Desians will be even more alert and we can have our friends trailing us into Luin together. It would draw too much attention."

"I know." Colette sighed, then frowned, looking up at him. "You still never told me why you and Genis went there. Do you know how worried I was when we heard that explosion and Genis came back alone?"

Lloyd rubbed his neck, furrowing his brow. "I apologize; it was a spur of the moment incident. Dad discovered Chocolat had been transferred there."

"Chocolat?" Colette looked up at him. "The girl from Palmacosta?"

He nodded. "Maginus had her taken away, remember? I was in Palmacosta a couple weeks ago and I...saw her mother. After everything that I couldn't prevent, being gone all those years, I had to keep at least one promise."

"Lloyd," she started softly, but she held back, noticing his distant gaze. It was better not to press him. She was proud, happy, that he found that old flame in him.

"Colette, I want to stay here, with you."

She lowered her head, looking at the mountain ranges reaching up to the sky. Powerful, majestic, yet so stationary...

"When we get to Luin, I want to stay there and be a husband. I want to learn to cook for you, get a job, maybe blacksmith and just..." he trailed off, his words hanging before them on a string, dangling just out of reach.

"You will." She gripped his hand tighter. "I know you will."

"How?"

She felt his desperation in his voice, unable to look at her, but reaching for her guidance nevertheless. "By doing what you can." She offered quietly, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Lloyd, let's rest."

He didn't say anything for a time. He laid the blanket for her, propping the bags behind her. He fussed to make her comfortable and she let him. It comforted him and she knew he wanted to do as much as he could for her and their baby. She could see the father in him blossoming.

"I'm going to destroy more."

He settled beside her, wrapping his arm around her so she could lean against him. His hand instantly lay upon her belly next to her hand. It was an action he always did, as if he had to let their child know he was there.

"More what?" She prompted, though she knew the answer. She didn't like it.

"Ranches. Yggdrasill had the previously demolished ones rebuilt. Luin. Palmacosta. If I work alone and fast and leave no witnesses, Cruxis won't know it's me—"

"Lloyd, it's too dangerous." Colette looked up at him, biting her lip. "What if someone does see you and he finds out—"

"He won't."

"But what if he does!"

He hesitated with her outburst and she lowered her head. She didn't want him throwing himself into danger like that. If she wasn't pregnant, she'd offer to go with him, fight beside him, but she couldn't handle remaining behind and waiting...waiting to know.

"I have to do this, Colette. I have to do what I can, to be with you. To be with our child. I can't face Yggdrasill yet, not while he has the sword, but I can fight towards that goal, until I can figure out a way."

"You can't do this alone."

"I won't drag anyone into this—"

"Why not? They are your friends and they can help you! Genis, Zelos, Sheena—any of them! Just ask them and they'll help you!" Colette gripped his hand, waiting for him to look at her.

When he did, he was smiling weakly. She frowned and looked away, not understanding how he could find this amusing.

"I'll think about it. It won't be right away. After we get to Luin, I need to return to Cruxis. I've been gone far too long."

"You'll be in trouble."

"Maybe. Dad has been covering for me. I've fooled him thus far, I can do it again." Lloyd assured her. "It might be awhile before I can come back though..."

Colette squeezed his hand, leaning against him. "Don't worry about that, Lloyd? Okay? I'll be okay. Just don't do anything rash."

He chuckled, wrapping his arm around her, kissing her head. "I'll always worry about you."

She knew that was true and she smiled, loving the way he held her so close. She closed her eyes, breathing in deeply, listening to his heartbeat and deep breaths when she jerked, eyes wide.

"Lloyd!"

He tensed immediately, his hand on his sword, pulling her closer. "Colette what—"

She ignored his frantic scanning, instead grabbing his hand, placing it on her stomach. He looked at her stunned, opening his mouth questioningly, but she hushed him. "Wait."

They did. Colette gripped his wrist tightly, his hand limp against her belly. Then she felt it. The small kick. It made her jump, blinking then smiling as she looked at her husband. His eyes were wide with stunned amazement, focused on her belly. "It..."

He couldn't seem to finish the sentence; the absurdity of what occurred baffled him. Colette only smiled, keeping his hand on her stomach as she felt another kick. His reaction hadn't changed; his eyes still as round as before. But there was something else, something showing in the shine of his eyes.

Fatherly. They held fatherly pride and affection. His hand caressed her stomach, waiting, anticipating another moment, another connection they could share with their child. It was such a small thing, but it meant more than the world.

* * *

His eyes narrowed on her, sitting alone at the table, slowly closing the book with a quiet thud. She looked exhausted, slightly pale from the yesterday's activities and preparation, but Yuan wasn't fooled. He saw the satisfaction in those iced eyes, the upturned corner of her mouth and he scowled planting his hands on the table.

"Where are they?"

He didn't need to look around to know they were gone. He should have assumed Raine would tell Lloyd he had been there. If anything, he should have kept watch, but he had, for a foolish moment, decided to grant Lloyd his night of privacy with his new wife. Being nice for a change obviously was a mistake.

"Who?"

He nearly snarled at the way she met his eyes, the calm line of her mouth and questioning brow. He could only read her eyes and he glared at her obvious amusement.

"You know who, Raine. Where is Lloyd?"

She slid her hand across the top of the book, before standing walking over to the steaming kettle. She filled two cups, content to show her back to him. "They left."

"I know they left! When? Where?" He slammed his hand on the table as she returned.

"Sit, Yuan," she said, setting a cup before him.

He refrained from sweeping his hand across the table and knocking the cup to the ground. Something in her tone and gaze made him take his seat, albeit, stiffly.

"Answer my questions, Raine."

"They left early this morning, before dawn. I was still asleep." She blew on her tea, stirring it a bit. "As for where? I don't know."

"Of course you do." Yuan narrowed his eyes. "He's your friend again, isn't he? He wouldn't just disappear with the Chosen again."

"Wouldn't he?"

Yuan paused, considering her words and the seriousness of the question. "You don't seem upset enough for that."

"He left this." She opened her book, slipping a piece of paper from it and sliding it across the table to him.

_'Kratos will explain.'_

Yuan frowned, looking up at her. "That's it?"

She nodded, sipping the tea. "I assume it's because of the Iselia Ranch incident. Stupid boy."

"Iselia Ranch?" Yuan leaned forward. "What about the Ranch? Were they spotted?"

"Hardly." Raine studied him a moment. "So Cruxis doesn't know yet then?"

"What about the Ranch, Raine?" His impatience rising.

"It's gone."

"What do you mean gone?" He frowned.

"Go look if you want. The explosion shook the entire area. I assume there is only rubble left now. He and Genis freed the prisoners and killed the Cardinal."

"Forcystus is dead?" Yuan stared at her incredulously, trying to fathom the string of events unfurling. Double-crossing Cruxis, reunited with old friends, marrying the Chosen and now destroying a ranch.

"I think you should keep your nose out of it, Yuan. Lloyd is figuring things out." Raine lowered her cup, staring at him intently. "I will not have you using his relationship with us as bait."

"It's a matter of an alliance, Raine. The boy is powerful, you just gave one example." Yuan smirked leaning back. "Imagine if he finally decided to confront Yggdrasill."

"He won't. He has too much at stake now. Just leave him alone, Yuan."

It was puzzling, the way she seemed aloof to this situation. "What exactly does he have at stake that he didn't before? Colette is still a target, regardless if she's his wife or not."

"Leave it alone, Yuan."

He narrowed his eyes, unable to meet her own. She did that when she had something to hide. Deception wasn't her strongest point, facts where, analyzing a situation. She knew there was something more that would keep Lloyd cautious.

"What is at stake, Raine?"

Ignoring his question, she raised her eyes. "And what did you want to confront him about?"

"That business is mine."

"He won't join the Renegades, you know that."

"He seems to have taken a rebellious path, perhaps he will."

She scoffed at his confidence and sipped her tea. "You always act like you know everything, Yuan. In fact, I bet you are so far in the shadows of what's happening, you can't see at all. Lloyd will deal with things his way, like he always has." She studied him carefully. "You should know that more than anyone since you were there."

He frowned slightly. So Lloyd had told them pieces of his past. It was a start, but Yuan doubted they'd know little more than the basics. Yes, he knew Lloyd. Probably better than most of them knew him—now at least—but he doubted anyone truly understand the young man. Not even Kratos.

"You knew he was going to be leaving."

"I assumed it."

"I'm going to find him, regardless. He's still linked to Cruxis, despite everything," he reminded her, standing.

Her face became grave and she lowered her eyes to the cup, long fingers tracing the rim. "Yes, Yuan, I'm aware of that. As we all are."

Studying her, Yuan couldn't help admire her confidence. Lloyd seemed to be have an effect on them, it seems. Still, Raine seemed to take everything in stride, regardless of the odds. Her attitude towards the situation hadn't changed throughout those seven years. Her strength was admirable, despite the way she bullied her way to achieve her owns ends.

Sounds familiar, Yuan thought with a smirk.

"Keep in touch, I may prove more helpful than you all seem to think."

"I doubt that." But she spoke with a soft smile, a teasing gleam in her eye. "If anything, you only stir the pot."

"Indeed, but that's the only way to get things in motion." He turned opening the door. "Who do you think convinced Yggdrasill to send Lloyd after the Chosen."

He didn't wait for her response, smirking as closed it behind him. He could imagine the look on her face and it was enough.

* * *

"I can't believe the bastard ditched us again!"

"Genis," Presea swiftly took the mug from his hand and set it back on the table.

Genis ignored her action, seething as he looked at Raine. She seemed not to notice his anger, tidying up the table. "Where is he? Did he say—?"

"You know as much as I do, Genis." She lifted her gaze, lingering scolding. "Do you even consider the consequences of the other night? Do you expect Lloyd to stick around?"

It was a like a slap and Genis immediately back down, frowning over her words. She was probably right, but then why would he just leave without a word? Where were they going? And was he going to leave Colette alone and return to Cruxis?

"You see, Twerp? Good intentions lead to horrible results. Kick back and let the world come to you, I always say." Zelos yawned, stretching.

"Inconsiderate as ever," Sheena scowled, elbowing him in the side, but not nearly as hard as he deserved, Genis thought.

"The note says Kratos will explain. Perhaps we should just wait for him to do so. Genis, your coffee is getting cold." Presea nudged the cup back into his hands.

He wrapped his hands around the cooling mug, frowning at the limitations imposed on him. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Lloyd was supposed to be back. Him, Colette and Lloyd, together and fighting. They'd form together, fight Cruxis and be free to live normal lives.

"It's not fair."

His sulking statement was met with silence, but he wasn't ignored. Raine's face tightened as she gathered the last of the breakfast dishes. Presea's hand found his arm, a small comfort. Not even Zelos had anything to remark too. It was shared sentiment that they all understood.

"I don't think anything has changed."

Their eyes lifted towards Sheena. Corrine shuffled on her lap, searching for the attention of her hands. Absently she stroked the little summon spirit, but frowned with her words. "Lloyd isn't done."

Genis felt his chest tighten, a surge of anticipation making him twist more in his seat to look at Sheena. "What do you mean?"

"Think about it? In the matter of a few days, he's dropped almost all his walls and opened up. He talked to Dirk and Frank. Genis, you said he actually went into the village with the prisoners. He destroyed a ranch and he married Colette." She held up her hand, listing the facts with her fingers as she went.

"So you think he's...back?" Genis asked, trying not to let too much of his hopefulness show.

"I think we shouldn't make assumptions. His actions could have been based upon his concern for Colette." Raine cut off Sheena. "In any case, it is reassuring, if exasperating, to see him in a more familiar light."

Genis gripped his mug tighter, trying to control the excited tremor surging through him. If Lloyd was back, he wanted to be there, beside him, just like in the Iselia Ranch. He wasn't going to let Lloyd do everything on his own. This was their fight, not just his.

The sound of the door opening raised all their heads. Expressions varied as Kratos entered, closing the door softly behind him. His own face was as impassive as ever.

"Good, you are all awake."

"Where did they go? Why does it have to be such a big secret—?" Genis started.

"I have been sent to discover the lack of communication from the Iselia Ranch. Within the hour, Yggdrasill will have learned of its destruction. Lloyd has taken Colette to a safer location and will be returning to Cruxis to attempt to ease the suspicion on him."

"Wait, he's going back?"

"Did you think he wouldn't?" Kratos replied.

Genis gritted his teeth, struggling to control his frustration. "But Yggdrasill will know he did it? Wasn't he supposed to be working in this area?"

"Lloyd has a plan and concocted a report that should remove most of the suspicion from him."

"And what would that be?" Raine interjected, frowning. "Who will these culprits be?"

"The Renegades."

* * *

"The Renegades."

Lloyd didn't react, knowing the choice of words were bait to make him do so. A test.

"You expect me to believe this?" Yggdrasill lifted the papers, Lloyd's report of the Iselia Ranch. "Pathetic attempt to hide behind these weak enemies. Use them to cover your own schemes."

"They are much stronger than you take them granted for, but clearly not subtle. Perhaps the Chosen's death initiated this reaction, my Lord. They were after her life and when she died, perhaps their confidence was boosted."

"Of course. The Chosen's death. Tell me, Lloyd, how did it happen again?"

"It was believed the angels sent to retrieve her dealt her a fatal wound." Lloyd kept his voice level.

"And you saw this?"

"No."

"Then you saw her body?" Yggdrasill folded his hands before his mouth, but Lloyd could see the growing amusement, creating a slowly growing trap that would force Lloyd to admit the truth. It was obvious, but Lloyd could only play along.

"No, my Lord."

"Then how is it you presume her dead?"

"The village was in a state of grief and mourning. And based on conversations among the villagers—"

"Pronyma tells me I'm a fool. That you are trying to protect the Chosen." Yggdrasill glanced at the report, then Lloyd. "Is this true?"

"If I wished to protect her, why would I track her?"

"Indeed."

Lloyd stayed silent. It was obvious Yggdrasill was making his mind up about the situation. Lloyd could only prepare himself to defend Colette, regardless the cost. Would he be able to leave Cruxis to warn her? No, that'd only draw attention to her location and she was in no position to run now. He'd have to contact Kratos somehow to relay a message...

"I am having Pronyma look into the incident." Yggdrasill cut through his thoughts, rising from his chair. "The end result matters little to me. If she lives, she'll still be a suitable vessel for Martel. If not, we still have the young Chosen."

His reasoning was so callous; Lloyd refrained from clenching his fists. He relaxed the tension in his jaw, taking slower breaths. It was a matter of reminding himself he was at the advantage, not Yggdrasill.

"You are oddly quiet, Lloyd." His voice flowed out smoothly along with his smirk. At nearly the same height, Lloyd could only meet Yggdrasill's penetrating stare.

"If you believe Pronyma's theories, then she should, by all means, pursue them, Lord Yggdrasill." The words left his tongue heavy and mouth sour. He didn't like it, but he could achieve nothing better. He had nothing to offer, other than his acceptance. Any delays or suggestions would only condemn him further. Time was running out and he knew it was only a matter of time before Pronyma located Colette.

"Good. Now," Yggdrasill narrowed his eyes. "I think we better discuss this matter of the Iselia Ranch. The one you were supposed to be dealing with."

"Afraid that'll have to wait."

Lloyd twisted his head around to see Yuan striding into the chambers. Despite the remarkable timing that probably saved him, Lloyd only had to lock eyes with the half-elf to know it wasn't for Lloyd's benefit.

"Yuan," Yggdrasill frowned. "You dare to barge in here?"

"I need the kid. I found new reports concerning Rodyle and something called Thor's Hammer. I think it should be looked into immediately, don't you?"

Thor's Hammer was an ancient weapon during the Kharlan War, though Lloyd had found little information detailing the exact purpose of said weapon. It was only recorded to be a tool of the gods and the destruction horrifying, and if Yggdrasill's expression had anything to say, probably true. A threat perhaps?

"Can't you handle it on your own?"

"I need the kid as bait, more or less. A distraction for Rodyle while I snoop around. You know how that man is." Yuan shrugged, but clearly impatient.

"I see." Yggdrasill didn't hide his irritation, but something in Yuan's attitude towards Lloyd, seemed to amuse the half-elf. "Well, I suppose you should go. We'll have plenty of time to go over the incident in Iselia. Make sure your story is concrete, Lloyd, I'll be interested in what you come up with."

Lloyd bowed stiffly, excusing himself and leaving with Yuan.

Neither said anything to the other, but Lloyd noticed the smirk on the half-elf's face as they walked to the transporter.

"I owe you nothing," Lloyd finally said, standing before the platform.

Yuan only glanced at him and it took every ounce of control Lloyd had not to rush back to Colette and their child. He knew it's what all of them wanted and he wouldn't give it them. No, he'd play the game, twist the rules and he'd finish what was started seven years ago. He'd topple this system, this cycle. Bit by bit, he'd watch it fall.

Time was running out, but he was just getting started.

**Review Please**


	34. Chapter 34

**Listening to **What Faith Can Do by Kutless**. Done work for now. So gave me a little more time to write. University is coming up fast, faster than I like, but it'll be good to get back to a schedule. Anyway, thank you everyone for you awesome reviews. Always make my day. Hope you enjoy this chapter, even though it's a bit short. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 34:**

"You play a dangerous game, Lloyd. Using my men for your own means."

Lloyd glanced at his companion, then returned his gaze to the paperwork before him. "What exactly is Thor's Hammer?"

"A weapon that can manipulate mana." He turned leaning against the table to look at him. "She made a beautiful bride."

The paper crinkled under his fingers. "Why is Rodyle building it?"

"Lloyd." His hand landed atop the papers. "I know about her. I was there."

Straightening slowly, Lloyd met his eyes. "What do you want?"

"Nothing, yet." Yuan folded his arms. "Although, I must say I'm impressed you managed to deceive me."

"Wasn't that hard." Lloyd walked around the table, flipping through one of the folders.

Yuan chuckled, following him. "So why are you still here? What is your aim, Lloyd?"

"It's not something I'd discuss with you." He tapped the paper, frowning. "What's this about?"

"Hmm?" Yuan leaned over to look. "Oh, exportation of exspheres. Not uncommon among Cardinals. Most do it for extra money."

"These were sent to Meltokio." Lloyd frowned, reading the file. "Where did you get this information?"

"I have an informant within his base, of course. Why? What's drawing your interest?"

"This...exchange. What was the payment? I know who the buyer was, but I don't understand what he could have possibly offered."

"Who?" Yuan frowned.

"The Pope. Vharley was the go-between, but the Pope had papers indicating the sales of exspheres."

"You settled that, so what does it matter? It was most likely funds, considering the Pope had access to the royal family's treasury." Yuan flipped the file closed on him. "Never mind that, we need to focus on making sure Rodyle has completed that mana cannon, but can't operate it."

Lloyd jerked his head up, staring at Yuan. "You. He's building it for you?"

"Of course not. At least, he isn't aware of it." Yuan smirked, gathering the files. "Just as you weren't aware of the reason I suggested your mission. The small actions lead up to the greater schemes. Influence and manipulate a person to do what you want and you can achieve anything. How do you think we managed to convince two worlds of a false religion?"

It was cold and callous, but true and perfectly brilliant. Lloyd admired Yuan's ability to turn any situation into his advantage, something not many people could achieve. In the end, even Lloyd was another pawn in the half-elf's schemes, a playing piece on the chest board.

"Don't feel too insulted, Lloyd. Nothing personal, after all, you managed to achieve most of it on your own. Though, I don't appreciate you using my men as a safeguard. Keeping the Renegades under the radar is essential."

"Not like they achieve anything. When is the last time they ever did anything significant?"

Yuan eyed him carefully, slowly smirking as he slipped the folders into his desk, gathering his cloak from the back of the chair. "It takes the focus off me, Lloyd. I thought you'd have guessed that. While the Renegades operate, causing small, yet irritating setbacks for Cruxis, my actions go unseen."

"It's hard to believe you and Yggdrasill were once friends." Lloyd straightened striding to the door.

Yuan's silence made him turn. The half-elf frowned, then inclined his head. "Time pulls away even those closest to you. Our differences became too great. Our goals too opposing..." He trailed and Lloyd saw him in a moment of vulnerability before the half-elf gathered himself together. "Let's go see Rodyle shall we?"

Lloyd allowed Yuan to move past him. It was moments like these that Lloyd could catch a glimpse of the old hero he once was. None of the seraphim divulged much of their past to him, but Lloyd picked up the bits and pieces, forming a vague storyline of friends attempting to save the world. The similarities unnerved him and he tried to avoid comparing his own experiences with theirs. Still, these rare moments when the real man appears and the angelic being steps back, remind Lloyd that no one is above their own limitations.

* * *

The rain pelted the cloaks, the wool material shedding the majority of the water. Still the moisture seeped through their clothing and into their hair, trickling down their faces. Above, the clouds rumbled threateningly and the two figures hurried their pace to the dimly lit shelter ahead.

"This water is so going to ruin my hair."

"Let's just hurry up." Sheena replied sharply, but Zelos caught the undertone anxiety. He glanced at his girl with concern, settling for silence as another rumble increased her pace more.

They reached the building just as the sky really opened up, dropping sheets of water at the booming crack of thunder. The quiet, cut off shriek was muffled by the deafening noise, but Zelos eased the door open quickly, letting Sheena rush into the warm light before following her swiftly.

"I hate storms," Sheena muttered, pushing back the hood of her cloak and wiping the water from her face. She was pale and her hand trembling, but she kept her composure better than she used to.

"Hey Babe, they aren't so bad. Let's get a room and we can snuggle and warm each other up." Zelos wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

The look she gave made him frown, but he let her shove his arm away and stride over to the receptionist desk. "One room."

They draped their cloaks across the back of the chairs, pools of water already forming beneath them. The room was pitifully furnished, not even a dresser. Only a bed and small table and chair, yet even to Zelos, the tiny little room was becoming a comfortable home. Two candles flickered in darkness casting shadows as Sheena sat on the edge of the bed. She didn't face the window, but she didn't put her back to it either.

"Sheena, Babe," Zelos sighed, walking over to the bed. He seated himself behind her, tugging the leather band from her damp hair. It unfurled down her back and he combed his fingers through it. "It's just a little storm."

"I know that, Zelos." She nearly hissed, smacking his hand away. "Just leave me alone."

He studied her quivering form, the hunch of her shoulders, tense for the next crack of thunder. "You know I won't."

"You're so annoying."

"I'd say charming."

She glanced back at him, her frown warning him, but he just smiled, finger combing her hair once again.

"I hate it when you act all serious and sympathetic," she complained, but Zelos knew she was grateful despite it.

"I got to protect my babe from the scary storm, don't I?"

She grabbed the pillow, shoving it in his face before standing. "I don't need your protection, you idiot."

"Alright, alright." He lifted his hand, putting the pillow behind him, stretching out on the mattress. It creaked under his weight and fidgeted on the scratchy blankets. He couldn't wait to get back to Tethe'alla.

"Where do you think he'd have gone?"

Zelos' eyes drifted over to Sheena, watching her stand back from the window, but still bravely looking out. "Who?"

"Lloyd...and Colette."

"How should I know? Back to Cruxis like his old man said."

Sheena hugged herself, flinching at a quiet rumble of thunder. "Why do you think he did it?"

"You mean the Ranch?"

"Yeah."

Zelos frowned, sighing as the conversation turned. "Didn't the twerp say it was to get that chick out? Chocolate or something?"

"Chocolat," she corrected him.

"Whatever. That was his reason, wasn't it?"

"But he destroyed the entire ranch. That's...that's something he would have done before, but not now. It doesn't make sense."

Zelos sighed, leaning back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Okay, first you claimed it didn't make sense for him to be all calm and collect, and now you are complaining that he's too much like his older self. Sheena—"

"I'm not complaining, Zelos." She gave him a frown. "I'm just confused; I want to know what's going on. I mean he destroyed the ranch on the night before his wedding! What if something happened and Cruxis had found out before Colette could get out of there?"

Zelos sighed again, twisting his head to meet her frustration. She was concerned about him. More than he liked, but he had to remind herself that she felt indebted to him, sparing her life and all. Still from what he heard, Sheena helped them out a lot; explaining about Tethe'alla and helping them get away from old Yuan. He wasn't close to any of them really. However, the few years they spent together trying to get Lloyd back; they had developed a family relationship. They helped one another and depended on each other to get through things. When the split ways, Zelos and Sheena had resumed less than normal lives. They were both blamed for treachery by their respected parties and only had each other to seek help from.

His eyes lingered on his girl, taking in her hugged form, her apprehensive eyes watching the storm, flinching from the short flashes of light beyond the glass. None of them, not even Lloyd, understood Sheena like he did. He knew her past and her quirks and just the right way to irritate her, yet just the right way to calm her too.

A crack of thunder made her jump back from the window, silencing a cry with her hand. Corrine's bell tinkled as he darted over to her. "Sheena?"

Zelos sat up, watching as she struggled to gather herself together. She knelt, stroking Corrine's head before lifting him and returning to the bed. Her skin was pale and her eyes distance and Zelos shuffled over to make room for her on the small bed.

"Does that little rat have to be up here on the bed? I don't want fleas."

"Then sleep on the floor," She retorted, letting Corrine curl on her lap as he watched Zelos with small black eyes. Zelos swore the little creature growled at him, but was muted by the thunder. He turned his attention onto Sheena as she watched the storm outside growing. She seemed to be off somewhere else—Zelos could guess where—because the fear in her eyes was so evident. He sat up, gripping her arm, trying to call her back from that living nightmare she always returned to at times like these.

"Sheena, do you want me to close the blinds?"

She jerked out of her reverie, looking at him sharply with her hazel eyes. "Lloyd's fighting back, Zelos. I really think he is."

Zelos frowned, annoyed that she had returned back to him again. "So?"

"I want to fight too. I'm a Summoner, I made a pact with Undine."

"Sheena, don't be—"

"I'm sick of sitting around and waiting. We can help Zelos. I know we can." Sheena's eyes flashed with the lightning, but not with fear, but determination. Her dark hair encircled her face and Zelos brushed his hand along her cheek.

"So how do you plan to do that?"

As if to answer, lightning and thunder crashed across the sky.

Still Sheena answered quietly, "Volt."

* * *

The ache in her back forced her back into the soft chair by the window. She knew she was getting closer, nearly six months along now. Yet, at the same time, she felt as if the day would never come. It was getting harder for her to move around or do simple tasks such as picking something off the floor, or rise from the chair.

The little house Lloyd and Kratos had found her was nestled within the cliffside, just above the rooftops of the main level. Luin had expanded both outward and up, cutting into cliffside in order to accommodate the growing city. The city had been re-enforced tenfold, with stronger bridges and buildings. Lookout towers guarded the two entrances along with strong gate and along the edge of the banks, a tall, iron-barred fence.

Lloyd had told her, with a smile, that Kratos was the one who had funded the restoration of the town. It had been Anna's town, he explained, and Colette needed no more than that to know the significance.

She looked out the window, a clear view of the lake as it sparkled with the afternoon sun. She felt safe here. No one had questioned their arrival, but the few nods and smiles she received told her they knew who she was. Her eyes misted, knowing she didn't deserve their respect for her. She had failed them as a Chosen, yet they still welcomed her within their town.

Sighing, she pushed herself slowly from the chair, the awkward strain on her muscles protesting the movement. The babe gave a sharp kick just as she straightened, making her gasp in surprise. Her hand rubbed the assaulted area and she scolded. "There'll be none of that. You just settle down."

Either her words went unheeded, or the baby was simply replying, the next kick made her laugh. It was becoming more active by the day—and night, it seemed—and she beamed with excitement and motherly pride. The baby was strong, healthy and active. She always had an underlying fear that she had done something wrong, or endangered the child, but everyday she grew more reassured that everything would be fine.

"You are going to be a fighter, just like your daddy," she cooed, rubbing her belly.

The baby didn't respond, naturally, but Colette smiled all the same and moved to the kitchen to fix herself something.

It felt empty and sparse. She hadn't been able to bring any of her belongings from Iselia, just what could fit into a small pack. Lloyd assured her that Kratos would stop in soon to help her settle, but it wasn't quite the same. She missed Lloyd and she was scared now that he had returned to Cruxis. He had been back for weeks, much longer than he should have stayed, she knew. But now, with her due date creeping up, she wanted him nearby. What if the baby came early? What if the Desians attacked? She didn't know how to handle this alone.

She started at the knock, looking at it anxiously. Who would knock on her door? Why? She wasn't familiar with anyone in the city. She didn't think she should answer, but she couldn't just ignore them either.

Hesitating, Colette made her way to the door, a hand protectively on her belly as she opened the door. "Hello?"

"Chosen One? So it is you." A warm smile from a middle-aged man greeted her. At his side, a young woman gripped his arm, smiling as well.

"I'm sorry...I'm not the Chosen." Colette didn't recognize them, but something about them was familiar. She stayed partially behind the door, uncertainty showing plainly.

"Oh, of course. It's Colette, isn't it? It's me, Pietro."

"And Sophia." The woman smiled."We're sorry to frighten you, but when we heard you moved here we... well..." her cheeks flushed.

Colette's eyes widen, then opened the door more. "Pietro? Sophia? I-I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you—"

"That's completely understandable." Pietro laughed, running a hand through his thinning hair. "Time has changed all of us it seems."

"Oh my! You're with child?" Sophia's eyes lit up as all women's eyes do and Colette flushed. "How far along are you?"

"Around six months now..."

"Congratulations." Pietro smiled brightly. "May we come in? We brought a few house warming gifts to make things more comfortable for you. Kratos Aurion told us about your situation, your husband being away often. Mr. Aurion is a good friend of Luin's.

Colette's eyes widen, but she stepped back, opening the door more for them. "Y-Yes, come in, please."

**Review Please.**


	35. Chapter 35

**Listening to **Believe by Yellowcard. **Fits this chapter almost perfectly for the most part. I'd really like to apologize for the delay in updating. University started and now my grandma is in the hospital. It's been a really hard couple of weeks. I had a hard time focusing on anything, but I finally pulled together and wrote this chapter. I can't promise for regulate updates anymore, but I'll try to when I can. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter. Thanks for your patience.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 35:**

The ranch was a lot different than the others. It had been unknown to Cruxis for years and frowned upon, but because of its unique position, Yggdrasill had allowed its operation to remain on that world. It was built on a small island using the stone cliffs that existed upon it, yet burrowed below and spread out like a hive beneath the ocean. Only a single exit existed into the ranch and Yuan explained the stupidity of such a movement, yet the ingenious.

"Rodyle controls everything from the very heart of the ranch." Yuan explained as they walked through the maze of pathways. "Each of these sections can be flooded, completely blocking off any inflitrators. Of course, such a movement completely strands every half-elf and prisoner within, but Rodyle doesn't seem to care about such implications.

"Seems more foolish, than brilliant in my opinion." Lloyd glanced up through the dome ceilings of the walkway. Outside, the water closed in around them, their footsteps a pounding echo. Further out he could see schools of fish and water creatures darting here and there. Raine would enjoy this place, he thought.

"Well, he has one possible escape route, though it could hardly be called so." Yuan frowned. "The man has a liking to carrier dragons, breeds them himself. He keeps the young ones in cages beyond the control room. It's an enclosed one, domed over. I assume the dragons must be able to fly from there, so perhaps with that, he is 'brilliant' as you say."

Lloyd grunted dismissively. None of the cardinals were brilliant in his opinion. They were leeches, stealing and sucking on the life of others. Any possible intelligence they possessed was wasted on the avenue they pursued.

"I'm surprised we don't have escorts. I would have thought his paranoia would make him act with caution."

"He's not paranoid, Lloyd. If anything, he's over-confident. As are you, it seems."

Lloyd ignored him, studying the cylindrical structure of the pathway. He wondered how quickly these paths would be flooded and whether or not he could free the prisoners in time.

The path exited into a larger room. Technicians glanced over at them before returning to their computers and files, talking quietly to themselves. They showed little respect, Lloyd noticed. Especially since Yuan was present. Perhaps Rodyle's opinion of Cruxis was more deep than even Yuan conceived.

"Rodyle has been expecting you, Lord Yuan."

Lloyd glanced over, catching the eye of a young female soldier. She gave him a short scan, the set of her mouth telling him clearly of her distaste. He just smirked back at her, making her look away quickly.

"Follow me."

Yuan glanced at Lloyd, giving him a warning look, which Lloyd ignored, instead scanning the monitors they passed. A few words stood out on the screens, maps and names. But Yuan's pace didn't allow him the time to look closer.

They traveled down a narrow corridor, doors positioned on both sides. It was eerily silent, but Lloyd could hear the faint hum of machines behind them. And something else, bubbling...

He frowned, pausing in hallway, staring at one door. A simple metal plate with A05 on it labelled the room. His hand reached for the handle.

"Lloyd, don't fall behind."

Yuan's voice made him jerk his hand back, but glare over at the half-elf. They waited for him, the woman shifting uneasily, her eyes narrowed and a tight grip on her sword.

"What are in these rooms?" Lloyd frowned, locking eyes with the woman as he approached. She fidgeted, glowering at him. "I am your superior woman." Lloyd lowered his voice, bearing down on her. "Answer my question."

"Experiments." She responded flatly, but she retreated slightly, lowering her eyes as she stood beneath his shadow.

Lloyd frowned looking at Yuan, but he only shook his head. Lloyd clenched his fists, glancing back at the door. Before Lloyd could counter, Yuan turned to the woman. "Are you going to let us in or not?"

Forcing his anger down, Lloyd followed his friend through the doors, glaring at the young woman as they passed.

Rodyle wasn't an imposing man. Standing barely to Lloyd's shoulder, the short half-elf reminded Lloyd of a reptile. His narrow, thin eyes shifting lazily, his beak like nose twitching. He was gaunt, being one of the older Cardinals. His wardrobe was deceiving to the eye. Beneath the elaborate armour, a scrawny body, all angles and bones made up his structure. He carried himself with his nose in the air, looking down his nose through his red-tinted spectacles. His lips were as thin as the rest of his body and his amethyst hair was slicked back, making his brow more pronounced.

"Ah, it's Lord Yuan and the Aurion whelp. I was worried for a moment it would be Kratos, but alas, how fortunate for me."

Yuan snorted, folding his arms. "Perhaps you better focus your concern on my presence. I assure you, Kratos has more leniency than me."

"Ah, well, of course. But then, you aren't Yggdrasill's favourite, hmm, Lord Yuan?" He tilted his head up, smiling crookedly. "Kratos does whatever he wishes and with little explanation. Just look at what walks beside you."

Lloyd returned his gaze levelly, knowing the half-elf was baiting him. Lloyd was on probation and he doubted any slip up would be tolerated by Yggdrasill. Somehow, Rodyle had gotten wind of this and had decided to try and use it to his advantage.

"Let's get down to business, Rodyle." Yuan strode over to the table, taking a seat. "Why are you building the Mana Cannon?"

He didn't answer right away. The slick smile spread on his thin lips and he turned, his back to them. "The Mana Cannon? Lord Yuan, you don't actually believe those fairy tales, do you?"

"You know as well as I that it's real. It's why you have the blueprints and designs." His tone remained flat, his gaze unwavering. "The question is why a miserable little man like you needs to build something like that."

"These are hard times, Lord Yuan. We are all miserable little men. The world is dying, can't you taste the staleness of the air and the way it dries your throat just to breathe. You wouldn't think me a fool enough to create something such as Thor's Hammer in Sylvarant."

"I suppose that depends on your intentions."

Lloyd watched in disgust as the half-elf chuckled, folding his hands as he seated himself at his desk. "Intentions are everything in this world, aren't they, Lord Yuan. One man does something to benefit himself or the world. Intentions pave the way to hell. Perhaps you should be asking what your own intentions are."

"You do realize the Mana Cannon cannot operate without a sufficient amount of mana. It is why it become a myth. How do you plan to operate it?"

Lloyd frowned, glancing at Yuan. Recalling their earlier conversation, Lloyd had gathered Yuan to be responsible for Rodyle obtaining the plans. Why was he badgering him about the Mana Canon in the first place. Unless he was afraid Rodyle would attempt to use it, but then killing the Cardinal would easily solve that problem.

"Why would I need a way to operate something that does not exist?" Rodyle laughed, pushing to his feet. "Rest assured, Lord Yuan, I have no desire to drain this world of mana. I reside here after all."

"From what I've heard, you've been residing in Tethe'alla more often than not. Can you explain that as well?" Yuan frowned, eyes following Rodyle as he moved across the room.

"In fact, I can. I was just about to show you my most recent endeavours." Smoothing back his hair and adjusting his glasses, he gestured for them to follow.

Lloyd frowned in Yuan's direction, but was once again ignored. Typical of the Renegade Leader to not even acknowledge him. It grated his nerves, but they had roles to play. Yuan was a half-elf of Cruxis and played a fine line between traitor and friend. Earning Rodyle's trust was essential to his plans and if snubbing Lloyd gave Yuan a higher standing in Rodyle's eyes, then Lloyd had to play along.

He could always just kill Rodyle later.

They were lead out of the main room, back into the hallway with the doors. Lloyd's eyes narrowed immediately, his eyes fastened on the back of Rodyle as he led them to the first door. As the one Lloyd had looked at before, it had a metal plate with a letter and number upon it. This one read A010.

"As you are...both...aware, Kvar met an unforeseeable early death before he could complete his research. Not to forget his utter incompetence to even keep track of his projects. It should be no surprise that his research need be continued." His eyes glanced back at Lloyd as the door swung open.

Lloyd gritted his teeth, the small stone on his hand suddenly weighing far heavier. He stepped forward, his hand already reaching for his swords. Yuan quickly blocked him off, a hand reaching around behind him to grip his wrist.

"Of course. Though, how you managed to come across such research materials is surprising. Considering the explosion of the ranch was mere minutes after Kvar's death." Yuan frowned following Rodyle into the room.

"Yes, well. I had Pronyma's assistance in retrieving such information long before the incident. We both agreed that Kvar could hardly be trusted with such an important project, considering he lost the most potential experiment."

"And that gives you the right to—" Lloyd growled, pushing past Yuan's arm.

"Yes, _Boy_, it does. For as inventive as Kvar was, he had no hope to ever leading this project anywhere. He had neither the resources nor the intelligence to make this endeavour reach its full capacity." His arm swept behind him, his smile broad and wide as his wild eyes.

Lloyd's retort was clawed from his throat as his eyes landed on the display behind Rodyle. In the faint light, he saw her, floating behind the glass. Her eyes darted violently behind closed lids, the breathing mask over her face not hiding her recognizing features. She hadn't aged in those few years. Her green hair flowed around her head.

He saw her glasses, the anxious hand brushing her mouth when she talked, the way she had her hair pinned strict and firm to her head. That was all gone. His eyes fixated on her listless body and he stepped forward.

"I happened to stumble upon her in the Meltokio prisons. That was years ago now. She was quite eager to assist in the experiment. Especially when she was encouraged by her father. Of course, he was very interested in the idea of stronger exspheres. Profit you know."

"Father." Lloyd's head snapped over to Rodyle's, his voice low and dangerous. It took all his strength not to run his sword through that snake's body.

"The Pope, of course. Now, I suppose he isn't no longer. Such a shame. Our arrangement was useful. Prisoners in exchange for exspheres. A life for a life, you could call it." He chuckled, stepped over towards Kate, his hand caressing the glass tenderly. "All these years, she's proved exceptionally useful. I suppose the occasional half-elf. With her elven blood, it's quite remarkable to see the progression and growth of a Cruxis Crystal in contrast to a human—"

Lloyd's hand gripped the collar of the short man, lifting him to his height. His blade pressed firmly against the thin throat, effectively silencing Rodyle's speech. His momentary surprise turned to amusement, his mouth twisting into a gleeful grin.

"I see I have struck a nerve, Lord Aurion."

Lloyd released a growl, pressing the half-elf up against the tube. The dull green light cast shadows across their faces, alighting Lloyd's eyes with a burning anger. "Release her."

"I think not—ack—," he choked as Lloyd pressed the blade flat against his throat. His legs jerked slightly, reflexively trying to find purchase.

"Then I'll just kill you and free her myself—"

"Lloyd, that's enough."

He heard Yuan, but he didn't relent. The knowing look in Rodyle's eyes, the smug confidence he thought he had, fuelled his anger and he pushed the blade tighter against his throat, ready to angle it and swipe it across his—

"Lloyd! Enough!" Yuan's hand grabbed his and shoulder, jerking him back as the Cardinal dropped to the ground, coughing and chuckling. Lloyd struggled against Yuan's grip, growling as his face contorted in anger.

Yuan pulled him back, shoving him towards the door, glaring. "Wait outside."

Lloyd's chest heaved, his sword shaking within his clenching hands. He stepped forward, glaring at Rodyle, but Yuan's hand pushed him back. "Out."

Lloyd's eyes snapped to Yuan, seething, but the look the half-elf gave him was enough for Lloyd to sheath his sword and leave.

* * *

"You're a fool."

Lloyd ignored him, his eyes fastened on the flooring, keeping step with the half-elf. They were leaving Rodyle far behind, gloating over his presumed victory. "I'm going to kill him."

"Lloyd, you'll do nothing of the sort—"

"I won't stand here and let that bastard kill her!"

He couldn't control his anger anymore. A floodgate had been released and he felt like a temperamental child arguing with a parent. Perhaps that is how Yuan saw him. His green eyes were relentless and hard as he frowned up at him. It was an odd perspective and for a moment Lloyd felt uncertain.

"Do you know how hard it'll be to counter any accusations Rodyle could use against you? He hates you, Lloyd. He hates you almost as much as he fears Kratos. Maybe going back to your friends was a mistake, if all you are going to do is screw up."

Face twisting, Lloyd snarled, gripping his arm. "Don't blame them—"

"Then who should I blame? You? If you go killing Rodyle, how the hell am I supposed to get the mana cannon built? Do you want to bring down Cruxis or not?" He lowered his voice, but his tone was dangerous.

"I'm not one of your subordinates you can order around and I'm not part of your little organization," he hissed. "I'm not sitting back and letting bastards like him kill innocent people."

"You'll have to. Unless you want to die. Or perhaps Colette." Yuan eyed him.

"Are you threatening me?"

"Keep your cool, Lloyd and leave Rodyle to me. Will you risk everything on one woman? Risk thousands of innocents for one?" He left the question hanging, brushing past Lloyd and leaving the base.

Lloyd frowned, glancing around, then to where Yuan left. "You know the answer to that, Yuan. I had to make that decision before..."

* * *

He remained silent, letting Yuan talk to Yggdrasill, reporting and taking the questions. He didn't mind. Still distracted from before, he barely listened to his superiors. It was a relief for a change, not to be in the light of things, not having to explain himself and lie constantly.

"I hear Rodyle wasn't exactly happy with Lloyd's behaviour." Yggdrasill casually added, speaking over Lloyd's head purposefully.

"They had a conflict, which I resolved quickly. You know how Rodyle provokes for a reaction. It was a harmless quarrel."

"Not according to Rodyle, hmm?" Yggdrasill's eyes met Lloyd's, which he met unwaveringly.

"Rodyle tries to use anything to gain an advantage. Using Lloyd's outburst to try and distract you from the fact that he practically stated he was creating the Mana Cannon. Not to mention, he stole files from Kvar for the Angelus Project without your consent and has been experimenting all these years."

Yuan had drawn his attention back to the matter at hand. Lloyd listened as Yuan manipulated the attention towards the Angelus Project, making it seem as a betrayal to Cruxis. Lloyd had to admit, Yuan had a way of twisting the conversation in any direction he wanted. Perhaps that is how he managed to keep the target off his back all these years. In many ways, it made Lloyd feel younger than ever, to watch Yuan handle Yggdrasill. He acted more like an older friend, than a subordinate. The tone in his voice and lack of superior respect towards Yggdrasill revealed his role in this organization. Yet, despite it, Yuan never talked down to him.

The way Yggdrasill seemed to consider Yuan's words and listened quietly, if only for a moment, reminded Lloyd of himself, when Kratos would advise him during training...

"Keep a close eye on him, then. If Rodyle attempts anything suspicious, then act. But for now, leave him be." His eyes moved to Lloyd, considering him. The look was irritated, but distracted, most likely from everything Yuan brought up. "Stay away from him, Lloyd. In fact, I want you to remain here for a time. Until Yuan resolves this matter."

"Yggdrasill, I require his—"

"Don't lie to me, Yuan. Which I'm sure you've done more than enough just now. If you need him, you can find him here. He's to stay on Derris Kharlan."

Lloyd's hands tightened, his face twitching slightly as he returned his gaze levelly. "I have one request, Lord Yggdrasill."

"And you expect me to grant it?" His eyebrow rose, but Lloyd remained silent, baiting his curiosity. After a moment, he shifted in his seat. "What is it?"

"I'd like to go down to Tethe'alla, for an hour or two."

"Tethe'alla? Not Sylvarant?" Yggdrasill looked at him amused. "Why?"

Lloyd kept his expression blank. "I know Meltokio has a vast selection of shops. If I am to remain here for a time, I'd like to have something to occupy myself with."

"I see." His eyes narrowed, slightly, considering his request. "You didn't answer my first question. Why not Sylvarant. I'd assume you'd rather go there."

"Sylvarant doesn't hold any interest for me. It doesn't have the shops Tethe'alla has."

"Hmm. Very well. An hour. If you aren't back within the hour, you'll be labelled as a traitor and returned to your status as a prisoner here." He leaned back, his smile anything but friendly. A threat and warning.

Lloyd nodded. "An hour is all I need."

* * *

The late afternoon warmth settled across Meltokio like a blanket. It was nearing autumn, the chill in the air not yet penetrating through the warmth of the sun, but the nip was in the occasional breeze and the coloring of the leaves.

The land was becoming one of gold and amber, creating a surreal and beautiful atmosphere within the walls. Festivals of harvest and bounty were in full swing. Long nights of feasting and celebrating were filling the air. The music like a thrumming heartbeat in the city. It emptied the streets and taverns and shops, leaving the occasional unfortunate soul to tend to the occasional traveller.

None of this concerned Lloyd as he walked through the nearly empty streets. The celebrating was centred up near the palace and noble quarters. Even the middle class had the honour of participating, as well as the occasional slum child squeezing through the throng.

His feet took him down one of the side paths, the gaiety fading slightly as he walked towards the rising stone coliseum. He passed under its shadow, his fingers tracing the grooves of his sword hilt. He could taste the death as he drew near, the smell of blood and the faint sounds of snarling animals and clinking of chains. Below Lloyd's feet waited his prey...

The doors slammed, heads turning as he strode into the room. He didn't look at them, his path taking him behind the desk. The woman called out in alarm, telling him he couldn't go back there. He could go wherever he wanted.

He shouldered his way into the waiting room, ignoring the woman's frustrated shouts behind him. Guards instantly formed up in front of him.

"Hey, what do you think you are doing?"

He paused, regarding them. His eyes penetrating through the slits in their visors. In a single swift motion, his hands grabbed their helmets and slammed them together with a deafening clang. A grunt and they crumbled at his feet.

He stepped over them, the room silent as he strode for the prisoner ward. They could have stopped him, and perhaps they would have. He could hear them drawing swords and stepping toward his back.

He released his mana, his wings spreading outward as he grabbed another guard's wrist, twisting the sword from his hand with a sharp crack and pushing him aside, ignoring his cries of shock and pain.

They all stopped, whispering loudly as he shoved the prison door open. His wings folded gently against his back, casting an unearthly glow along the walls as he walked through the dank corridor.

The prisoners murmured but pressing back against their cells, not wanting to attract his attention. He didn't care about them. He cared about one man.

Lloyd found him laying upon his wooden bed. His skin was sallow, starting to hang off his body as his new rations stole his weight. The man blinked, struggling to sit up as Lloyd approached his cell. In the darkness of the prison and the light off his wings, the Pope showed no recognition. His face was drawn back in fear and horror, his hands rising as if he could ward him off. He looked pitiful and sickly, like a diseased animal.

"W-What do you want?" His voice sputtered and choked, his eyes wide and wild.

Lloyd reached, gripping the bars of the door and with a sharp jerk and rending screech, ripped it open. It clang to the floor, rolling across the stones.

The Pope cried out, covering his ears and huddling down on his pallet. He quivered, the sweat soaking his prison clothes and lank hair already. He stunk of it. Stunk of fear too. This was the man that stole the lives of many. This man manipulated and betrayed his own blood, his daughter. This wasn't a man. He couldn't be considered a man. He was less than an animal even.

Lloyd stepped into the cell, his wings fanning out slightly, throwing light across the Pope's face, making him flinch and cower. They fluttered gently behind him, their glow heavenly, casting shadows over their faces and glinting in their eyes. They twitched, filling the cell with their width and size.

Lloyd's blades sung softly as he pulled them free. His eyes locked with the quivering flesh below him. His feet carried him forward and his light and shadows slid across the walls and floors and terrified face. "You."

* * *

Silence followed him from that building. No one approached him or objected, their eyes filled with questions and uncertainty. They would find the body and they would accept it as whatever they wished. Punishment, justice or perhaps something else entirely. The Pope had disgraced himself and he doubted many would miss him.

Even as he wandered through the shops, purchasing a whittling knife and a bundle of wood, he felt as if the silence followed him. Little was said and he wondered if they could see everything he had done, spread out across his face. Did they know? Did they suspect? Or did they just feel his lack of justification he still felt. The Pope was dead, but the anger still burned within Lloyd, eating away at him. It hadn't been swift, not after what he had forced his daughter, Kate to go through, and now he found himself staring at stranger's hands.

He hadn't seen the Pope as anything human, anything living. He had given no mercy, just cold anger and vengeance. He knew the anger was seven years worth, the building of a fire that would explode and destroy, burn and ravage without hesitation. The blood had washed off his hands, but had stained deeper than water could remove. The animal-like screams still rang in his mind and he could see see the eyes, smell the fear and blood and hear the crack of bones and splitting of flesh.

Gald clinked on the counter as he turned, leaving the merchant in peace. His presence was probably more suffocating than a rope around the throat. Lloyd could feel one around his own, walking the streets in a numbing sense of calm.

Had he become worse than what he had been fighting against all these years? The disregard of a human life, throwing his justice and judgment upon those he believed deserved it? Was he any better or worse than Yggdrasill was?

Colette's face rose in his mind, but he turned away from it, horrified and longing to see it. He wanted to be near her, to hold her closely and tell himself, he had done the right thing. He wanted to hold his wife, his woman and kiss her as if she was the only thing that mattered. He wanted to be there for his child, its birth and growth. To be the father it deserved.

But that longing was so far now, hanging and dangling before his outstretched hands with a gaping chasm splitting between them, beneath him. He was falling, deeper, further than he had before and even his wings wouldn't be able to carry him out of it.

He was in Welgaia again, walking down the white and gray streets of the city. The silence bore upon him even more still. It rested on his shoulders, dragging him down, pulling and wrenching him relentlessly. His room offered no solace either, his purchase dropping to the floor near his bed, his weight sinking the mattress as he stared into the white walls.

It was like he was back in that place, in that room. Unable to escape the impending silence that filled his every sense. He shook with fear and denial, struggling to form the words in his mind to call him out of this entrapment. But he couldn't, he felt isolated, alone and disjointed.

At some point his father had entered, kneeling before him. His mouth moved, fingers roaming over his exsphere and Lloyd knew Kratos' fear was on his soul.

His eyes shifted to Kratos' face and his father must have seen something there, for he sighed in relief and released his hand. But the concern still furrowed his brow and he spoke again.

"Lloyd? What happened? What's wrong?"

He didn't know if he could speak, that his tongue would cooperate with the turmoil in his head, but he felt the words leaving his mouth, his voice odd in his ears.

"I don't know who I am anymore. I know who I was...and what I once stood for. I feel I can reach out and touch it, grip it with my hand, but then it just slips away and I'm left dangling in this place I can't...control. I react and I... I don't know who I am."

His shoulders shake and he closes his eyes against the sting he feels building. It builds in his eyes, his throat, his chest and he can't breathe. He can't think. He chokes, gasping for breath and he covers his mouth, feeling his cheeks dampen.

The bed shifts and an arm slides around his shoulders, gripping and pulling him firmly closer. Lloyd shakes his head, choking and sobbing into his hand, willing himself to stop, but unable to, unable to contain what has been breached.

"Sometimes our actions make us become monsters in our own and others' eyes. We fight for a purpose, Lloyd. A purpose that we all know, and no one understands. We fight, regardless of the cost to ourselves, because we make a promise to ourselves. A promise we try to keep. You aren't malevolent and you haven't changed. You simply adapt and use everything you have to keep that promise."

Lloyd shook his head, but he couldn't find his voice. How could he believe what he did was necessary? How could he look down upon a living being and take its life, simply because he decided to. He was no better than Yggdrasill, playing god over those weaker than him. What made him different? Yggdrasill had once said they were alike.

"_...You often remind me of myself with your ideals of a better world."_

It was true. They shared a similar vision, a similar goal. Lloyd believed he was taking a different path, the right path, but now he didn't know. He didn't know anymore...

"You save lives, Lloyd. That's all you ever do. You save those that can't save themselves. You save those whom thought they could never be saved. You give hope and courage to everyone. You are not a monster."

He shuddered, eyes opening, sniffing as he lowered his hand. "How can I look upon my child and say that. Knowing what I did, what I could do again. What right do I have to pass judgment like that? What will I pass onto my child by being its father..."

"By simply being its father. You question yourself now, Lloyd. If you were truly evil, you wouldn't."

He paused, letting the words sink in. Lloyd shivered, but didn't reply.

" You feel remorse and regret because you do what needs to be done, regardless of the difficulty. And you carry the blame and the burden of what you must child will learn what it means to be human, because that's what you are. Flawed, yet not evil. Just human."

Lloyd felt those words. Kratos never spoke much, never like this. He was a man of few words and to hear him speak so passionately made Lloyd look up to meet his eyes. "When did you ever believe stuff like that?"

Amusement danced within his father's eyes, his hand gripping Lloyd's shoulder in fatherly affection. It was like he held a secret, something he would enjoy revealing simply because of the reaction it would bring. And he would receive that.

Kratos spoke softly, but firm as he released Lloyd's shoulder, looking down at his son. "When I found you, Lloyd."

**Review Please.**


	36. Chapter 36

**Listening to **Ain't Nothing About You by Brooks and Dunn **and **The Way by Rascal Flatts. ** I apologize for the long wait. School finally caught up to me and October just had problems piling up one after another. November doesn't look much better, so I'm sorry if there is another long delay. I'll write when I can.  
Thank you everyone for read, your reviews and your patience. I hope you enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 36:**

It was restless again. Turning this way and that, forcing her to stop every few minutes and grip the table. Her hand rubbed her belly, the once small baby bump expansive and large. It was becoming rather hard to move around now and it made doing simple things difficult. Especially when the little one never stopped moving.

She smiled at her belly. "Settle down in there."

With a sigh, she straightened, moving carefully through the kitchen as she began to prepare herself a meal. Sophia and Pietro often stopped in with fresh supplies from the store for her. She felt extremely grateful for their kindness, knowing she'd never be able to carry any large amount home with her.

She was nervous. As the due date loomed closer, it was becoming more and more evident that she would soon be a mom. She didn't think she was ready for it. She didn't even know the first thing about caring for a baby. And Lloyd, well, Lloyd wouldn't know much either. She had considered writing a letter to Raine, asking her to come. She knew Lloyd wanted her location a secret, but being alone all the time made her anxious. Raine would know what to do, she had taken care of Genis since he was just little.

Another kick in her belly nearly made her spill the milk she was pouring and she gasped, placing her free hand on her belly. She frowned slightly at her belly, the movements coincidentally ceasing as she did so, and she laughed gently to herself.

Perhaps she was just being paranoid. She had heard before, that raising a child comes naturally to the parent. She hoped that was case.

She hummed quietly to herself as she set pots on the stove, stirring the sauce when she heard footsteps at the door. Pausing, Colette glanced at the door, hesitating before turning down the heat and wiping her hands. In the couple of weeks she had been here, Luin had shown no threat of Desians searching for her. Still, the wariness she had developed over the years always resurfaced and she waited for the knock.

There was none.

The door pushed open and her heart leapt to her throat as a tall figure filled the entranceway. It took her but a moment to recognize him and she hurried towards her husband with relief. "Lloyd!"

He straightened, a smile transforming his face and he gently embraced her, lowering his head to kiss her cheek. "Hello, Colette."

She smiled and then blinked, pulling back slightly as her hand lifted to his face. His puzzled expression lasted only a moment until he chuckled deeply, rubbing scratching his cheek. "Yeah, I haven't had a chance to shave lately."

Tilting her head, what she had taken for a shadow now revealed itself as the beginning of a beard. It was nothing more than a short scruff covering his cheeks and chin; nevertheless, an unusual sight.

"You shave," she said it slowly, not a question, but simply a realization. He gave a small smile, chuckling as he kissed her, leaving a slight prickle against her skin as he did.

"Yes. Don't worry, I'll shave tonight," As he spoke his eyes lowered to her belly, lowering to a knee as he placed his hand upon it. "So big..."

Cheeks pink, she nodded, watching as he caressed her belly, his brown eyes usually so sober, filled with amazement and wonder. She smiled, grasping his hand. "And very active."

His eyes lifted to hers, presenting her with a question. "I mean he moves around a lot. He's been restless," she elaborated.

Concern replaced his expression immediately and he stood, gripping her hand. "Are you alright? You aren't hurting are you?"

Her eyes widen for a moment and she laughed, causing him to frown in confusion and uncertainty. "No, Lloyd. I'm alright. It just catches me off guard sometimes. That's all."

She knew he wasn't reassured completely, but he didn't press. He guided her to her rocking chair by the window; making sure the blanket covered her lap and the pillow wasn't slipping behind her head. He did it all with a quiet resolution, his brow furrowed slightly in concentration as he assessed his work.

"Thank you, Lloyd." She smiled, leaning her head against the pillow.

He nodded, still surveying her. He was so protective it was adorable, though she would never tell him that. She knew he was trying to do everything right. He didn't know anything about his new role either. Even now that they were married, neither of them really knew how to fit into those positions.

She sighed, watching as he finally drifted away from her, checking on the pots on the stove. He shuffled them around with a concentrated frustration, keeping the heat low as he stirred the oatmeal. He had been as such, ever since the burnt pancakes. Sometimes it would take him forever to cook something, but his caution and determination only made her smile.

He glanced over at her occasionally, giving her a scruffy smile. They talked quietly, mostly her answering his questions about her time in Luin. She told him of Pietro and Sophia, how the townspeople were friendly and generous. But the entire time, she could sense his distraction, the quietness in his responses and quiver in his weak smiles.

"Lloyd, what's wrong?"

He didn't answer right away, he never did, but she waited as he turned the heat down on the stove more, setting the pot aside. He moved with a stiffness and nervousness she hadn't seen in him before. She pushed herself up, noting he didn't attempt to stop her.

Her arms encircled his body, pulling him against her. He responded with a frightening reaction. His arms clasping about her fearfully, embracing her even closer and his face bent and buried against her neck and hair. He shook and she ignored the awkward position of her belly against his. She said nothing, her hand reaching up, stroking the back of his head. No words were needed. Whatever demons he fought, he'd tell her when he was ready.

He still hadn't spoken when the pot started to bubble behind them on the stove. He released her reluctantly, turning his attention back to the stove. His face was shadowed, a distracted look haunting his eyes.

"I murdered someone."

She waited, looking at him expectantly. His words chilled her, but she didn't fully believe them. Lloyd wouldn't just murder someone. He killed for a reason, to protect. Not slaughter. But when he didn't elaborate, she touched his arm gently. "Who?"

"The old Pope of Tethe'alla." His flat tone hung around them heavily.

"Why?" she found his hand, clasping her hands around it and he responded instantly.

"Kate was his daughter. Do you remember her? She helped us save Genis and Raine, but she had been arrested for doing so. I thought she had died in the coliseum prisons."

"She's alive?" Colette's eyes widen. She vaguely remembered the young woman. She had been afraid to help, but had done so regardless. "Where is she, Lloyd?"

"In Rodyle's Ranch?" He answered. She gave him a puzzled look and he sighed. "He has a ranch on an island near Palmacosta. He doesn't raid that city in particular. His victims are more carefully chosen."

"Chosen?" Colette frowned, the old word still held an old sting. The idea of being selected for a purpose, for a reason...

"He experiments on them. He obtained Kvar's old research somehow. Now he's resuming where Kvar left off with the Angelus Project. He's trying to recreate my mother's exsphere." He still wouldn't look at her directly.

"Lloyd?"

"He handed her over." His hands clenched, pulling free of hers. "That man handed over his daughter like she was just a piece of property. He didn't give a damn about her when I went to his cell. He only cared about his own miserable life. But Kate did care. She volunteered because Rodyle said her father suggested her. She wanted his approval. That's all she wanted." His eyes narrowed, frowning and Colette took his hand again.

"Because he was her father. She wanted to believe that he cared."

"But he didn't! He didn't give a damn about her!" Lloyd snapped and Colette flinched. She knew his anger wasn't directed at her, but she had yet to hear him raise his voice like that since he had returned. She could only watch as he rubbed his face. The paleness to his cheeks and darkness under his eyes told Colette he had been struggling with this knowledge for awhile. She frowned and stepped over to him, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

"Lloyd, you were just protecting her. Don't blame yourself for this."

He shook, but his arms pulled her close. "But she's still there. She's still suffering at Rodyle's hands. I killed the Pope, because I couldn't kill Rodyle. I should have... I shouldn't have listened to Yuan. I should have run him through when I had the chance. I should have protected her—"

He stopped when Colette pulled back, her hand holding his to her stomach. He stared down at it, trembling. She looked up at him with a soft smile, cupping his cheek with her other hand. "You won't be like that man. You're a good father. You'll never abandon your child. And I know you won't abandon Kate either." Her eyes met his. "You've never abandoned anyone, Lloyd."

Lloyd frown, the uncertainty evident in his eyes. "But Colette, I—"

Then it kicked again, against Lloyd hand. She watched his eyes widen with startled surprise and Colette could only laugh at the expression on his face. She placed her hand over his, smiling. "Even the baby doesn't want you to blame yourself. You're going to be a wonderful father, okay?"

He found her eyes, struggling to resist the tears she saw forming. In the end, he merely lowered his head, pulling her close once again, whispering in her ear. "I love you both."

* * *

Insanity. He was positive it was contagious, and if it weren't for her gorgeous body, he'd have stayed away from her. But, Sheena was his babe, though she'd ever deny it and Zelos wasn't about to let her rush off on a wild mission of self-reflection on her own. He had been there once or twice when the insomnia and fear kept her awake at night, when she wouldn't even arise to his flirtatious advances. Sure, Sheena was older now, but that didn't mean the memories went away.

They never went away.

"So now you come begging me for assistance. Again. After all the years I spent trying to convince you to do this in the first place?"

The damn half-elf enjoyed watching Sheena fidget uncomfortably, the embarrassment she felt inflamed her face. She looked cute.

"Yuan, can you just lend us some rheairds. You're benefiting from this." She scowled, hands on her curved hips, cocking her body to the side. Damn he loved her body.

"Remind me." Yuan narrowed his eyes, leaning back in his chair. "And what changed your mind?"

The Ass seemed to wallow in others uncertainties. It was probably why Yuan hated him so much. Zelos wasn't one for showing his uncertainties. What was the point? Lie, act indifferent and even pretend. It's what the half-elf did all the time no doubt. Backstabbing prick.

"You wanted me to awaken all the Summon Spirits, why do I have to repeat that?" She snapped, her face flushed even more so. "And what difference does it make, why I decided."

"Is Lloyd involved?"

There it was, Zelos thought. He frowned, glancing at Sheena while she narrowed her eyes, huffing. She was hesitating again, making it obvious Yuan was right.

"He doesn't know."

They both looked at him, Sheena slightly surprised by his answer. Yuan not as much, rather he just had blatant curiosity. "Is that so?"

"Not really his problem is it? Sheena's the one who can summon."

"Still holding resentment, Zelos?" Yuan's lips twisted into a smirk, but his eyes were cold and narrow. The guy was probably still sore from when Zelos pulled out of his deal with the Renegades. Not that it was Zelos' problem. The Renegades had even less to offer than Cruxis and when it was obvious that everything had come to a standstill, he chose to stand with Sheena. The Renegade's badgering her had been the last straw.

Still, he only smiled and shrugged, glancing at his girl. "Sheena came to this decision all on her own, didn't you, Babe?"

She glared at his mocking tone, before looking at Yuan. "Zelos is right. Lloyd doesn't have any involvement with this."

"I see. Well, I'll rectify that."

"What?" Sheena demanded.

"You failed your first attempt with Volt, who I'm assuming is your first choice, considering how you will need his mana to use rheairds." He gave her a glance.

Zelos clenched his hands, watching Sheena's face darken in humiliation, but she offered no retort. She wouldn't deny the truth.

"Besides, he'll understand Volt's language. Kratos schooled him in the ancient tongue. Not sure how that man found the patience," he muttered, earning puzzled looks from them. "Regardless, he can intervene if things get out of hand."

"I can handle—" Sheena started, flustered and insulted, but Yuan intercept her smoothly.

"Like last time."

She fell silent, her eyes lowering, hands balled tightly at her side. Zelos narrowed his eyes on the half-elf, easily slipping his arm about her waist.

"Come on, Babe, forget about it. Old Man obviously doesn't need as badly as he—"

"I'm not leaving without those rheairds, Zelos." Her tone was icy, but she wore a distant expression. The fear in her eyes was unmistakable. She was reliving it again.

Her bit back a growl, relaxing his face, but easily locking eyes with Yuan. "Well, let's go get those rheairds then, Yuan. Sheena, just wait here."

She nodded and Zelos sauntered over to the door, waiting for Yuan to follow. The half-elf glanced at him, indifferent to the insults he had thrown around.

"You need her, don't forget that." Zelos hissed through his teeth as they walked through the door.

"She's not doing it for me." Yuan replied flatly. "I want this excursion to succeed. I care little about her personal problems. That is why Lloyd is going to go along with you. To make sure it succeeds."

Zelos narrowed his eyes, grabbing the half-elf's shoulder, shoving him against the wall. "What makes that bastard so damn impressive? He can't even sort out his own problems. Sheena doesn't need him."

"Jealously, Zelos?" Yuan looked at him with amusement."

Zelos easily met his taunt. "You've been talking to Raine lately?"

Instantly his demeanour changed, humour gone, masked with indifference. "I have little need for her, now that Lloyd has regained your trust."

"Not mine."

"Oh?"

Zelos smiled bitterly, releasing Yuan's shoulder. "You can't fully trust a traitor."

"Only a traitor would truly know that."

Zelos looked away, frowning. He was a traitor. He didn't pretend to believe anything else. He was just tired of going nowhere. At least with Sheena, it felt like he was somewhere. Still, she didn't know everything...

"So you know where Lloyd is then." He glanced back at the half-elf.

"I'll find him on Derris Kharlan if that's what you mean, which I assume it isn't." Yuan returned the look. "He hasn't informed you either where he ran off too?"

Zelos let the smile spread across his face, lacing his words with condescending venom. "Men don't tell people where they go for their honeymoon, Old Man."

Yuan narrowed his eyes, but ignored the laugh Zelos released. They both knew there had been no honeymoon, not with Cruxis breathing down Lloyd's neck and the baby nearly due. Still, Zelos couldn't resist.

* * *

The floorboards creaked as the runners rocked back and forth and had become a rhythm he had grown used to. It was comforting sound and he moved his hands in time with the steady rocking. They didn't talk, but she did hum. They were short little tunes, but she hummed one more than others. It was their song, he decided. He recalled the tune from the Journey of Regeneration, sitting upon the cliffs. Before he knew the truth about her illness. Before he knew a lot of things...

He tilted his hand, the other gripping the wood firmly as the sand paper rubber across the grain. The gentle scraping blended with the other sounds. He couldn't say he regretted what happened, during that year. They had been together and he learned much. More than he'd cared to. His life had turned dark quickly after that. Reality was cruel, a lesson he learned all too well. However, he found out, recently, there were a lot of smaller joys. Being here with Colette was one of them.

Pausing in his movements, he lifted his eyes to gaze upon his wife. Her hands busily worked, knitting yarn together. He didn't know when she had learned to knit, but she had mentioned Sophia teaching her new things. The trail of yarn trickled down and around her bulging stomach. She was huge, and Lloyd marvelled at how women managed to stretch like that. It didn't seem possible.

He must have been staring, for she soon lifted her eyes, catching his gaze. She giggled, but went back to her needles, the gentle click resuming along with the creak of her rocking chair. He cleared his throat, turning his eyes back upon the wooden spindle in his hand. Running his hands along the shaft, he gently smoothed out the rough edges before setting it aside with the others. The collection of spindles was done and he turned his attention to the sweeping curves of the banisters. With deft fingers, the sand paper worked smoothly against the wood. His thumb continuously brushed against the wood, checking the smoothness.

Time was lost until he heard the groan of the rocker and Colette pushing herself up. He glanced up, watching her prepare lunch. He would have offered to help, but the last meal he attempted was blackened to the bottom of the pot and had taken hours to scrub out. Therefore, he focused on his work, imagining the outcome.

It wasn't long before Colette called his name and he sighed, stretching as he set his materials aside.

"You've been working at that all day." She let him kiss her cheek before sitting himself down. He wasn't exactly hungry, but he had become accustom to sharing his meals with others again. The added nutrients didn't hurt either.

"I want to finish it before I have to go back."

They both understood the importance. It was an unspoken anxiety they both felt. To Lloyd it was a heavy burden. The baby was due in less than a month and Lloyd had no idea where he would be within that month. The last thing he wanted to do was miss his child's birth.

"I'm sure it'll be beautiful, Lloyd." She smiled, beautifully and he couldn't help but return it softly.

"I hope."

Talk ventured to the gossip of Luin news that Colette gathered from Sophia and Pietro. It seemed the city was still constantly expanding and fortifying itself. There had been rumours of the Asgard Ranch sending out a possible raid in their direction, but it was just speculation. Lloyd felt uncomfortable about it, but kept silent. He had known the risks, but Kratos had been incessant upon the safety of this city and Lloyd would trust his word.

Lighter news brought news of the increasing trade between Asgard and Luin. It seemed that both cities were trying to maintain a level of communication. Asgard had flourished even more as a tourist town, than when they first passed through it. The Desians haggled the windy city, cornered as it was among the chasm and mountains; however, the threat wasn't as great as it was with Luin and Hima. Asgard had recently become more of a trade city, where passbyers would exchange goods and wares as they stopped in from the Hakonesia Peak mountain path.

However, Luin and Hima rarely received such visits and instead made dealings through Asgard instead. Luin and Hima would send the minerals, fish and other resources less common in the Asgard region in exchange for their goods. Luin, though more so Hima, also offered mercenary protection to the few merchants that'd attempt to travel between the cities.

Lloyd was impressed with the cities abilities to adapt to the declining world's position, though it was more obvious how the mana levels had risen since the seals had been broken. Perhaps that had something to do with it.

However, he suddenly thought of that little girl, Natalie. Being the Chosen had its own stress, but this added pressure would surely be hard on the young child. It made him sick, how adults placed full responsibility upon a six-year-old child, when they didn't realize the sacrifice they were condemning her to make.

He would keep that promise he made to her.

"You're awfully quiet, Lloyd. And you haven't eaten a thing."

Looking down at his plate, Lloyd sighed slowly. "Just thinking."

"About what?" She tilted her head, concern in her eyes.

He considered telling her the truth. His concerns for Natalie and the world depletion, but he didn't. He didn't want to remind her of that _responsibility_ she had relinquished years ago. It was nothing she should be guilty for, but he knew she would feel that guilt all the same. It was the way Colette was. It was why he loved her, for that compassion and strength. But this wasn't her responsibility. It was his and he'd protect her from it.

He finally met her questioning gaze and smiled weakly. "Just wondering if you thought of anymore baby names."

It wasn't long before lists of names filled his mind, leaving him chuckling in exasperation as she prattled on. Yet, he eventually hushed her, noting the tired look in her eyes and bid her to rest while he tidied up. She argued, but it was weak and wasn't long before she found her bed, falling asleep quickly.

Stacking the last dish in the rack and drying his hands on a towel, he quietly moved to the door of the bedroom, leaning on the frame as he watched her sleep. He knew it was an ironic metaphor, but she was an angel. His angel. It wasn't the wings that made her so. It was the gentleness that encompassed everything she did or said. It was that he fell in love with.

His head rested against the frame, smiling as he took in her blond hair curving her face, her arm and hand cradling her belly. Even in her sleep was protective of others. He longed to lie beside her, to hold her and forget the world. However, he still had things to do.

Moving away reluctantly, he went back to work. Taking the sandpaper in hand, he fell back into a methodical rhythm of smoothing the wood. It didn't take long before he began to assemble the pieces, forcing the notches together, the spindles inserted into their respect holes. He gave the wood a light tap, wedging it tighter together, adding nails for security. He found himself humming as he worked, smiling to himself as it came together.

Just as he was checking its sturdiness, he heard Colette's soft footsteps and muffled yawn.

"Oh! Lloyd you finished it!"

He turned, loving the way her face lit up. He stepped back letting her get a full view.

It was a simple crib, with simple curves and structure, but he could tell Colette loved it. She ran her hands across the smooth wood, smiling brightly. "It's perfect. Lloyd, you're amazing."

He chuckled, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Not exactly. Are you sure it's steady enough? I don't want it falling apart..."

She laughed at his nervousness, reassuring him, she'd test it out before putting the baby in it. Immediately her concerns changed to the color of paint it would need, the color of blankets and sheets. Of course, he had to help her with the choice of patterns.

"Whatever you want." He answered, keeping his arm around her. "I'm not exactly an expert on fashion if I recall correctly."

She giggled, looking up at him. "I thought your clothes were cute."

"Suspenders weren't cute, Colette." But, he chuckled, leading her away from the crib. "But we can go shopping later if you like."

The answer was obvious on her face, but she voiced it anyway. "Of course!"

Lloyd smiled, but then frowned, glancing at the door moments before someone knocked. He narrowed his eyes instantly.

"It's probably just Sophia and Pietro." Colette suggested, but she still had a wary uncertainty in her voice.

Lloyd rose, approaching the door. He opened it, and then blinked in surprise. "Dad?"

"I see, so you are here. I was just checking on Colette." He spoke calmly, but Lloyd could see subtle hints of how uncomfortable he was. "If you are here, I'll just—"

"Come in?" Lloyd cut him off. It wasn't really a suggestion, more of a challenging dare. He smirked at his father's sudden inner conflict. "She is your daughter-in-law, now, Dad."

A strange expression came over the older man's face, but before he could respond, Colette appeared at Lloyd's arm, smiling brightly. "Of course, come in, Kratos! Come see the crib Lloyd made for the baby."

Lloyd smiled down at his wife then watched his father in amusement. They stepped aside, offering him room to enter. Lloyd knew Kratos had little choice but to do so.

The stoic man entered stiffly, his hand gripped around his sword almost as if he was expecting danger. Family relationships weren't his strong point. Even his relationship with Lloyd was unstable and awkward. Lloyd wondered how he'd handle having a daughter-in-law now and soon a grandchild.

"I don't want to intrude—"

"Kratos, you're always welcomed here." Colette smiled brightly. "Look, Lloyd just finished it. I think I'll paint the wood white, that way the blankets won't clash with the frame. Thought I'm not sure which colors would be..."

Lloyd watched Kratos' usually masked face, look disgruntled as Colette voiced her concerns about colors and patterns again. Even if Kratos had experienced similar conversations with Anna, Lloyd doubted Kratos had much of a role in coordinating color schemes.

"I see..." Kratos offered quietly as Colette paused. He glanced at Lloyd for assistance, but Lloyd simply lifted his shoulders, leaning against the wall.

"Oh...Sorry, Kratos. I didn't mean to ramble." Colette's cheeks flushed. "Um... Let's sit down. I'll put on tea..."

Kratos didn't move right away as Colette hurried back to the kitchen, but his eyes narrowed, glancing over at his son as Lloyd chuckled. "That was not amusing."

"Didn't Mom ever get like that when she was pregnant with me?" Lloyd pushed off the wall, leading his father to the dining table.

"No, not exactly. She'd ramble, but I was usually able to walk out of the room unnoticed. She never wanted to hear my opinion anyway."

Lloyd looked thoughtful. "Strange. Colette appears to be the exact opposite. She insists on my opinion."

Kratos grunted, giving him a look as he sat down. They watched Colette move about the kitchen slowly, before Kratos frowned facing Lloyd. "Yuan has another job for you."

"Grunt work, no doubt," Lloyd muttered, watching his wife with a careful eye.

"It has to do with Rodyle."

He must have stiffened, for Kratos grabbed his shoulder firmly. "You don't have to—"

"If I see that man, he's dead."

The words were louder than he intended. Colette had paused, frowning at him, but she said nothing, quietly setting the kettle on the stove.

Lloyd growled, rubbing his face, facing Kratos. Kratos released his shoulder, but his eyes were hard. "You know you can't just kill him, Lloyd."

"Why not?" he asked bitterly.

"Because, you are already on a short leash with Yggdrasill." He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I'll tell Yuan, I'll deal with it—"

"What do I have to do?"

Kratos fell silent, his eyes on the table. It took him a while to speak, but when he did, he kept his voice low. "Yggdrasill wants someone to gain more detailed information about Rodyle's experiments. The man has failed to send any reports himself, but has agreed to let someone observe."

The table and chair clattered as Lloyd shoved himself from the table. "Lloyd—"

"I won't do this anymore! I won't be a part of this!" He snapped, glaring at his father.

"That's why I'll do it—"

"Just like you did with Mom," he snapped.

The room went silent and Lloyd looked away. Instant regret filled him but it was too late to take back the words. He lowered himself back into the chair, not meeting his father's eyes. There wasn't need for an apology and neither of them wanted it.

"I can go in and observe and question Rodyle, Lloyd. It's only one time. Yggdrasill isn't really interested in the work; it's more to just keep an eye on the man. And for some unknown reason, Yuan defends the damn half-elf. So Yggdrasill wants a report, that's all."

Lloyd stayed silent. He knew the reason why Rodyle wasn't already dead. Thor's Hammer was too important piece for Yuan to just leave unfinished. Lloyd didn't give a damn about what Yuan planned to do with such a weapon. He wanted no part in it.

Still...

"Fine," Lloyd said.

"Good, I'll let him know—"

"I'll do the job. It's just one time right?" He met Kratos' eyes, his expression impassive. "If I want to show Yggdrasill my loyalty, I need to prove to him I can do this job."

Kratos' eyes narrowed, but he let out a heavy breath through his nose. "Fine."

They both leaned back, the discussion done as Colette carried mugs and the teapot over. She was frowning and Lloyd wished his father hadn't brought up that issue in the same room as her.

He tried to meet her eye, but she wouldn't, pouring Kratos his tea before speaking.

"Kratos, would you mind if you could tell me what your wife did to prepare for..." Her face flushed once again.

Clearing his throat, Kratos set his cup down, frowning. "I can...tell you what I recall, but perhaps having Raine or a midwife—"

"It's kicking again. Kratos here!" He didn't finish as Colette had suddenly grabbed his hand, pulling it over to her stomach. Her eyes lit up, as she waited, not noticing the pale, startled look on her father-in-law's face.

Lloyd coughed, choking on his tea as Kratos' face darkened to red, despite the nostalgic look on his face when the baby finally kicked again. He didn't look so stricken after that, his hand awkwardly placed on Colette's belly as she laughed happily.

"I do hope you come to visit often, Kratos. Already the baby seems like it'll be a handful."

"Excuse me?" Kratos lifted his eyes up to her face.

Lloyd smirked, lifting his cup to his lips. "You're the babysitter, Grandpa Kratos."

**Please Review**


	37. Chapter 37

**Listening **Hero by Nickelback**. Sorry that this one is shorter. The semester is coming to an end and assignments are piling up again. Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing and for your patience. It means a lot. Enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 37:**

Stretching, Lloyd yawned as he pushed out of the bed, scratching his side as he listened to the persistent knocking on the door. Colette shifted in her sleep, already on the verge of awakening, but struggling to remain in the peaceful serenity of her dreams.

Lloyd sighed heavily, pushing up off the bed, locating his pants as he muttered, "I'm coming." The sun had risen just enough to peer through the windows, glittering rays lighting up the lake. He smiled thoughtfully as he glanced at it, making his way to the door.

Rubbing his still unshaven face, he opened the door with an irritated look, before blinking in surprise.

"Raine—"

She barely gave him a glance as she shoved past him, her livid silence more than enough to know not to question her. He looked at her blearily before turning back to the door to see an amused Genis watching him. Presea was at his side, her head tilted as she studied him. "You look older with that beard."

Lloyd regarded them both, reaching up to rub his scruff before frowning. "How did you know we were—?"

"Oh, yeah. If you can't tell, Raine is pissed off at you. Actually we all are." Genis frowned after a moment, and then strode in through the door, much like his sister had. "We've been searching for you and Colette for weeks."

Lloyd sighed frustrated, waiting for Presea to enter before shutting the door. "You weren't followed were you?"

"We were careful, Lloyd," she reassured him. Then her eyes spotted the crib. "Did you make this?"

Lloyd nodded absently, frowning as he watched Genis poke around before flopping onto the small couch. One of his long legs hung over the arm, his thin framing stretching across the sofa. "So are you going to tells us why you ditched us again?"

The warning was in his voice, but the hostility wasn't what it had once been. His tone informed Lloyd that an explanation was required.

"The less who know where Colette is, the more protected she is."

"You're an idiot."

Lloyd scowled at his friend before walking over to the bedroom where Raine obviously vanished too. He pushed open the door, slipping in. Colette was gently arguing with Raine as their old teacher fussed over her.

"Just lie down and let me give you a check-up." Raine scolded her and Colette finally relented with a sigh, leaning back on the propped up pillows. She gave Lloyd a pleading look and he chuckled.

"Raine, perhaps you can give her a moment?"

The withering look Raine cast his way made him raise his eyebrows. "No notice or information. She stays here while you are off hell knows where and leaving her unattended. Did you even think she should have someone looking at her regularly? What if the baby came early?"

Lloyd frowned, but couldn't ignore the guilty, nervous feeling. "You knew we were leaving."

"I thought you'd at least contact me after you settled!" she snapped, clearly irritated.

Colette shifted uncomfortably, but smiled reassuringly at the older woman. "Raine, I'm fine. Really. Sophia and Pietro have been stopping in to check on me. They bring groceries and help me around the house. Please don't yell at Lloyd."

Sighing heavily, Raine rubbed her face. "Alright, but I'm still giving you a check-up. Lloyd, you can just step out and talk to Genis. I swear if you both start up another fight, I'll start treating you like school children again."

He was looking down at her, her threat nearly made him smile, but he withheld it, lifting his hands in a mocking surrender and backed out of the room. Raine was stressed and worried, he wasn't going to add to that.

With a sigh, he turned only to find Genis grinning at him. It was a little lopsided and condescending. "Got kicked out?"

"Offering them privacy," he retorted, walking to the kitchen. "Have you eaten?"

"No and don't even tried to cook. Colette told me about the pancakes you made." Genis snorted, pushing up. "Just tell me where the stuff is."

The younger boy ignored Lloyd's irritated look, but relented and showed his friend where the food and appliances were. "I just get distracted when I cook. It has nothing to do with my ability."

"Sure. That's like Raine's excuse, 'cept she claims it's innovation."

"She still cooks poorly."

"Yeah."

Lloyd chuckled weakly, rubbing his chin. Genis glanced up at him with an annoyed look. Lloyd frowned. "What?"

"Shave."

Lloyd blinked at the blunt statement. "Why?"

"Because you look like an idiot," he said, focusing on the mixing the eggs and pouring them into the pan.

"Colette doesn't think so."

"Of course not."

"What was that?" Lloyd smirked.

"Shut up."

Lloyd smiled weakly, but eased off. He would shave, just not at the moment. It was a nice change, feeling the light scratch. And it made Colette laugh the night before, when the cuddled on the bed, rubbing his cheek against hers...

"I don't believe half-elves don't grow facial hair until they are older." Presea spoke up suddenly. "I think that's why Genis is jealous, Lloyd. You actually look rather handsome."

Both males looked up, glancing at each other then towards Presea. Lloyd cleared his throat, not failing to notice the heated look on Genis' face as he beat another batch of eggs violently in the bowl.

"Well, I'm planning to shave later today," he stated awkwardly. There was no reply, but he noticed the curious look Presea was giving Genis, almost thoughtful. Perhaps she was imagining him with facial hair as well.

The awkward silence was interrupted as Raine and Colette emerged from the bedroom. "Well she seems alright, health-wise. But I will be staying here, until the baby arrives."

Lloyd frowned. "That could be another month—"

"And what if it is early, Lloyd? Are you going to be here to help her deliver it?"

The snorting laughter from Genis made Lloyd grunt irritably, feeling his face grow hot. He looked at Colette, but she merely smiled reassuringly.

"I would be more comfortable having her around, if that's alright, Lloyd."

It wasn't alright. It was dangerous. People knew Raine, and Raine had a tendency to be 'loud' in the sense of opinions. She nearly always made an impression wherever she went. Lloyd doubted Luin would be no different.

But it was for the baby. He hated to admit his old teacher was right, but if the baby delivered early, Colette would be alone. He didn't like that idea any better. His eyes darted over Presea and Genis who looked at him expectantly.

"I suppose they will be staying as well?" He didn't mean for the bitterness that came out; he was just stressed and concerned.

"What's the supposed to mean?" Genis huffed. "Guess you forgot again that I'm your friend and Colette's. Don't I deserve to hang out with her?"

"I didn't mean it like—"

"Of course you didn't." Genis frowned. "Look, I know you are all paranoid about Cruxis finding us and everything, but they haven't bothered us since that attack at Iselia. They don't know we are here Lloyd and even if they did, I wouldn't let them touch Colette anymore than you would."

Lloyd had insulted Genis; he could hear the accusation in his voice. He sighed, trying to suppress the guilt and frustration he felt rising up. He really couldn't deal with this anymore...

"Fine. Just try to keep a low profile."

"Way to state the obvious Dumb-ass." Genis muttered.

"Genis." Presea's voice was strangely scolding and everyone nearly smiled to see the young half-elf's face turn crimson.

"Sorry."

"Well, now that that's been settled," Raine glanced around, an appraising look in her eyes. "This is quite the little home you have Colette."

"Thank you," she smiled. "Kratos and Lloyd helped choose it and Sophia has been helping me decorate slowly."

"Oh yes, how have they been? I can't believe those two got married as well. I suppose it was obvious with the way Sophia had taken care of Pietro in Hima." Raine smiled weakly. "Such a long time ago that was..."

Everyone went quiet, their thoughts turning back to that day, a day when things had been normal—at least relatively. Lloyd could barely remember those days, nothing more than a sequence of events with vague people and places. It was, indeed, a long time...

"Food's done." Genis announced, gathering the bowls and dishes as he passed the around. Everyone took their food wordlessly, seating themselves at the table.

"So when are you leaving again, Lloyd?" Presea's calm voice easily slipped past the silent barrier of memories. He lifted his eyes to regard her.

"Tomorrow. I have to report on a ranch," he casually answered, but as he expected, all eyes turned to him.

"Is that code for blowing it up?" Genis grinned. "When do we leave?"

"Not this time, Genis." Lloyd gave him a wiry smile, before turning serious. "Yggdrasill has become irate at my behaviour. It's my last chance to redeem myself in his eyes. I simply have to make a report and then leave." He kept his voice level.

Genis scowled. "Sucking up to him, Lloyd, isn't going to help you. Why don't you ditch that bastard? If he comes after you, we'll deal with him—"

"You know my answer, Genis."

The young half elf frowned, and then sighed, pushing his food around with his fork before spearing it, shoving it into his mouth.

"Which Ranch is it?" Raine looked at him calmly, though Lloyd could see the distaste in her eyes as well.

"Rodyle's, on a remote island near Palmacosta," he answered. From the corner of his eye, he notice Presea flinch, her blue eyes fastened on him. He glanced her direction, before shrugging, looking at his food. "As I said, it is simply a report on his research."

It was awkward again and Lloyd felt he'd rather be elsewhere at the moment. The exasperated looks from the Sages irritated him and he picked up his empty plate walking to the sink, scratching his scruff. He really needed to shave...

"By the way, Lloyd, I see you've acquired some facial hair." Raine interjected suddenly, her smile awkward and hesitant in an attempt to lighten the mood. "It makes you appear much more mature, but then I suppose you are grown up now."

Genis frowned, sitting back. "It's just hair. Why is everyone making a big deal out of it?" he asked unconsciously rubbed at his own chin.

"It's attractive, to some women. It also makes a man look older and more experienced. Though, it is all on specific tastes I assure you."

Lloyd smirked, noting the quick way she added the last comment. "I take it then, you prefer smooth-faced men, Raine?"

He met her eye and she must have understood his implication for she scoffed and brushed off his comment. He chuckled as he rinsed off his plate.

"Do half-elves grow facial hair, Raine?" Presea spoke up again, her eyes on Genis curiously.

"They do, though not until they are mature, since the life expectancy is longer than humans. Genis, for example, isn't likely to grow a beard until he's well into his, oh, forties perhaps. Maybe even longer.

Everyone noted the crimson flush spreading to the teens slightly pointed ears. "Are you saying I'm not mature? Because I am! I don't need no damn beard to prove that! I was mature long before Lloyd ever was."

He shoved his chair back as everyone smiled, storming over to Lloyd, muttering to himself as he dumped his plate in the sink.

"They are just teasing you, Genis," Lloyd chuckled.

"Just shave your damn beard already." Genis growled, storming away again.

* * *

"I didn't think he'd help us," Sheena murmured, holding the wing pack in her hands.

They were still at the base, awaiting word from Yuan about Lloyd. Zelos still wasn't particularly happy about including Lloyd. He knew the pressures of getting involved. Lloyd had more than enough to worry about with his kid on the way. But Yuan had stubbornly insisted and posed a good point. Neither Zelos nor Sheena knew the ancient language that the summon spirit spoke in.

"Well it's benefiting him too, Babe." Zelos leaned back in his chair. "You think you can do it?"

"I have to."

"No you don't. You just think you do."

She glanced at him, frowning, but he could see the nervousness behind those annoyed eyes. She was scared and Zelos didn't like how she was throwing herself into this situation simply because she felt like she owed it to Lloyd.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to," she said icily, looking away.

"I don't want to, but I'm going."

She gave him a grateful glance before moving over to him, sitting on his lap, looking at the wing pack again. "I'm just worried, is all. I don't want you getting hurt."

"Is that why you don't want Lloyd along?" He settled his hand on her hip, rubbing it comfortingly.

"Yeah. I mean, I know he can probably take care of himself. I just worry. So many people died last time. What if I mess up again? What if you and Lloyd get hurt? What if—"

"Sheena." His eyes locked with hers, slipping his arm around her waist, pulling her into a half hug. "You can do this."

She took a deep breath, before pushing his arm away, standing. "I know."

Zelos frowned pushing to his feet, wrapping his arms around her. "Babe, don't be like that—" A sharp nip at his ankle made him step back and curse. "You ugly little rat—"

"Zelos!" Sheena scolded, bending to scoop Corrine into her arms. "You two have to stop fighting."

Corrine crawled from her arms, up to Sheena's shoulder, peering at Zelos with black little eyes. "Sheena, you don't need him. I will protect you."

Sheena smiled softly, stroking the little creatures head. "I know you will, Corrine. You protect me from Zelos all the time."

Zelos rolled his eyes, scoffing. "I know when I'm unwanted." But he smiled, re-taking his seat as he watched Sheena sit on the bed, setting Corrine on her lap. As annoying as the little beast was, Zelos respected the little creature. It had been there when he hadn't. As much as Zelos hated to admit it, Corrine was a better companion than he could be.

He watched Sheena petting the furry creature, the little bell tinkling with every movement. She loved Corrine. Ever since she had broken him out of the research laboratory, the little summon spirit had never left her side. Fighting and protecting her in every situation. It had attacked Zelos on numerous occasions, but he couldn't blame it. Corrine saw the truth behind Zelos, or at least sensed the corruption that trailed behind him like a shadow. Sheena needed a friend like that to protect her.

She looked up, catching Zelos' eye holding the gaze for a moment. She smiled before the high-pitched voice of Corrine stole her attention. They were making plans, dreams for the future, none of which Zelos was sure he was included in. It was Corrine's world, with just Sheena and though Zelos knew Sheena would bring him along, he would never be involved in Corrine's world.

* * *

"I want to come with you."

Lloyd looked up from his pulling on his boot to find Presea standing ready and packed. Dawn was still long ways off and the house was silent save for the snoring sounds coming from Genis.

"No."

"You are going to kill Rodyle, aren't you? Then let me come."

She was keeping her voice low, but her resolve wasn't any weaker by it. He sighed grabbing his bag, setting the note by the door for Colette, or Raine, who would most likely read it first. "Let's talk outside."

He didn't want to risk waking the Sages. Genis was already making snide remarks about sucking up to Yggdrasill and Lloyd would prefer to leave without the congenial farewells behind false smiles. Even Colette was cross with him, arguing with him before bed, begging him to let Kratos do it.

The air was moist, still damp from the dew and he stepped down to the cobbled street, pausing to wait for Presea. Out of everyone, including his father, Presea had been the only one to question his motives. The least he could do was speak with her.

"Rodyle did this to me." She appeared at his side silently, barely past his shoulder. At her side, her massive axe rested on the ground.

"I know." Lloyd closed his eyes, recalling his talk with Regal. "There is no need to put yourself in danger, Presea. Rodyle will receive his punishment."

"He said it would help me take care of my sister." Her voice was even and flat, nearly reflecting that monotonous tone she had years before. "But I forgot her, abandoned her."

Lloyd frowned glancing ahead. "You want revenge then."

"Colette told me about Kate. How she is a victim too. She was one of the ones that participated on my experiment. I remember her. But I don't think she deserves what was done to me."

"No one does." Lloyd corrected her, but sighed, rubbing his face. "I'm only going to do a report—"

"No you're not."

He eyed her carefully, her pale eyes rising to meet his own. "She told me and Raine, while you were out with Genis yesterday, how you killed the Pope. She tried to be subtle about it, but I can see it. You want to kill him. Just like you killed the Pope."

Lloyd frowned, glancing at the house. "I lost control. I can't afford to do so again, Presea."

"Unless you are planning to leave Cruxis. Then it'll no longer matter, correct?"

He twitched, studying the young girl with a frown. "I suppose not. But we both know I can't do that."

"Won't, not can't, Lloyd." There was no accusation, just facts. Even so, he sighed, rubbing his face.

"Regardless, we both know it's a foolish move."

"But you are still willing to do it. Aren't you?" She hadn't looked away yet.

"It has always been a consideration." He broke the connection, glancing over the black lake. "If I bring you along, we won't even make it to the control room. There is no way for me to get you inside the base with no detection."

"Then take me as a prisoner."

"What?" Lloyd turned back to her, frowning.

"I was Rodyle's experiment at one time. Would he not want me back?"

Lloyd frowned, rubbing his face, inwardly cursing that he had yet to shave. He sighed closing his eyes. "You won't have a weapon."

"Raine gave Genis and me a wing pack she received from Yuan. It will conceal my axe for me." She pulled the small pouch out, showing Lloyd.

"Of course." He released another sigh, and then nodded. "Fine, let's go."

**Please Review.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Listening to **Hearts of the Innocents by Kutless** . Song I think really reflects Lloyd's personality. Especially for this chapter. Anyway, the semester is practically over, was hard week with everything literally due on one day. I wrote this chapter in one sitting pretty much, so I hope it's alright. Things are picking up. Thanks for reading and reviewing everyone. Always glad to hear from you. Enjoy!**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 38: **

The cold metal was clasped about her wrists, restrained loosely behind her back. It was uncomfortable, but she knew she could easily slip her unclenched hands through the holes in a moment. Her eyes observed her surroundings with slight apprehension, the dim corridors surrounded by water leaving a lingering chill of panic in the depths of her stomach. There would be little chance of a quick escape, she had been aware of this detail prior, but the realization was slowly sinking in as she was guided further into the ranch.

Lloyd's grip was firm on her upper arm, leading her at a steady pace. She understood now, the way Colette had described the rare coldness Lloyd presented at such times. The chilling indifference directed in her way made her doubt herself for a moment. It wasn't a logical, just an involuntarily feeling that clutched at her heart. Lloyd made the perfect impression of a member of Cruxis.

She glanced up at him with careful eyes, regarding the way he held himself with confidence and command. It was clear now, why he was able to convince Yggdrasill that Cruxis still held his loyalty. Just observing Lloyd was enough to assume that.

His eyes flickered down to her briefly, giving her a warning of caution before, once again, returning straight ahead. She looked away from him, understanding the silent gesture. She was his captive and should behave as so.

The tunnel's end was a large sealed door. Lloyd had explained the defence of the ranch. Flooding the building was an extreme, but efficient way of eliminating unwanted intruders, though impractical unless in extreme circumstances.

As they came up to the door, Presea hesitated, her eyes locked on the sealed metal. She thought back to Genis, left back with his sister and Colette. She felt guilt, leaving nothing but a letter to explain her absence. She truly cared about him, especially after everything he had done for her over the past years. He helped her find herself again.

However, this wasn't something she wanted him involved in. She did not want him to become hurt because of her past conflicts and revenge. Rodyle had stolen her life; she didn't want him to steal Genis away from her as well.

"Are you ready?"

His voice was soft and barely audible. She nodded slightly, despite the restrictions and uncertainty she still felt. Logical reasoning had foothold in her decisions right now. It was reckless, careless and there was a chance she would die, but she wasn't about to back down. Even as Lloyd led her through the doorway, the soft light and figures waiting within only strengthened her anger and resolve. Genis had always told her to trust her feelings, to believe in the strange sensations rushing through her and let them guide her in times of uncertainty.

She trusted Genis.

* * *

He could feel her tensing in his grip as Rodyle turned; his thin face all shadows and angles, cast by the bluish lighting of the room. Lloyd didn't falter in his steps, guiding Presea further into the room as the door sealed behind them.

"Now isn't this a pleasant surprise."

It was unclear whom the words were directed too. Rodyle's eyes were alight as he walked around his desk to approach them. "You bring me a little apology gift? I'm sure, Lord Yuan suggested it. Of course, you owe it to me after that little incident." The chuckle was strained and he stopped, keeping a safe distance from Lloyd. Still he peered over his spectacles, admiring Presea as if she were a possession to be assessed.

The half-elf was excited. Lloyd could tell by the sharp whistle through beaked-nose and the way his hands fussed with his gloves. He turned nodding at a pair of Desians standing in the room. "Take our little gift from Lord Aurion."

"She's not a gift." Lloyd glanced daringly at the soldiers, making them hesitate. They gripped their sword hilts warily. Satisfied, Lloyd turned back to an irritated Rodyle. "She's an exchange."

"Oh? For what exactly?" Though he asked, it was clear Rodyle knew exactly what Lloyd desired. His eyes never left Presea; his interest in the girl was sickening. She wasn't a human to him. She was nothing more than an object to be tested and experimented with.

"Information on the Mana Cannon." Lloyd replied tersely, forcing Rodyle's attention to him.

The half-elf laughed, a throaty cackle that sent shivers through Presea. Lloyd gripped her arm reassuringly. "And what has changed since you were last here with Lord Yuan, hmm? As I have told you, the Mana Cannon does not—"

"This woman is Presea. She was one of your previous experiments from years before." Lloyd smoothly cut him off, noting the slight tremble coursing through Presea's body. She was restraining herself, but Lloyd didn't want to test how long she could.

"Previous experiment?" Rodyle frowned, regarding Presea carefully. He peered down his long nose through his little red glasses. His thin lips pressed together tightly as he searched his memory. If anything, his lack of remembrance grated Lloyd's nerves. No recognition for even the people he uses for his experiments.

"I believe Vharley provided you with her and you had her observed in a functioning lifestyle. Her exsphere has a key crest, but she has the strength equal to an angel. I doubt it'd take long to evolve the exsphere completely." He kept his voice level, but his left hand rested comfortably on his sword.

Rodyle finally approached closer, ignoring Lloyd completely. He tilted his head thoughtfully as he scanned her, before his eyes lit up. "Ah! Yes, Presea. My you have grown out of that little body you used to have, haven't you?"

She remained silent, but Rodyle just laughed, turning his attention to Lloyd. "Now this is definitely amusing. I do believe you were companions at one time. It must be crushing that little spirit of hers to have you handing her over to me. I suppose I underestimated you, Lord Aurion. This experiment was definitely a special one for me. She was the second one in her family to go through the process. Of course, the first failed terribly—"

"Rodyle—" Lloyd tried to cut him off, but it was too late.

Presea's head lifted, her eyes wide in her pale face. "Second in my family—"

"My, she does speak so—Ah yes, the key crest. That will have to be rectified—" Rodyle frowned, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Who was the first?" Her voice cracked a bit, the truth already in her eyes.

He didn't answer immediately, but his smile showed his amusement. "Even after all this time, you still do not know? Well allow me to enlighten you, my little Presea."

"Rodyle this isn't—"

"You're younger sister was trial and error. I suppose most of the experiments are. Every little host is unique after all. Usually we avoid putting exspheres on children. Not enough strength. Of course, you proved that wrong, didn't you? Unlike that sister of yours. Couldn't control the exsphere. Quite useless in the end—"

"No."

The sound made Lloyd close his eyes. The single word seemed to take the last bit of restrain from the young woman. Her hands went slack the metal cuffs dropping to the ground with a clatter. Her eyes were burning icily in the blue light. Lloyd instantly released her arm, stepping clear as she retrieved her axe from the wing pack.

The Desians were already rushing at her. Rodyle's wide startled expression, twisted in anger and slightest sign of fear. "Restrain her!" he snapped, backing away from the enraged axe woman.

Lloyd frowned, his eyes turning to Rodyle as the man called for more soldiers, rushing back towards the other end of the room. Lloyd unsheathed his sword, stepping over with a clean swipe across the back of a soldier's neck, just between the helmet and leather collar. The body jerked, head bowing forward as the body dropped.

The wide sweeps of Presea's axe embedded through the leather armour of the soldiers. The force and impact knocked them into the walls and computers, shorting the computers out. Tears stained her cheeks, shining in long streaks. Her cries rang out as she slammed her axe into a shoulder, the crack of bone and scream of the Desian.

Lloyd drew his second sword, thrusting it smoothly into the stomach of mage preparing a spell. "Presea, calm down—"

She didn't hear him, steadily making a path towards the back of the room and door Rodyle had slipped through. Lloyd cursed, struggling to keep the Desians off her back and keeping clear of her swinging axe.

The Desians gradually backed off as she rushed the door, rushing out of the way, as her axe reverberated in a deafening clang on the metal. It shuddered and opened.

Lloyd's eyes widen in shock, grabbing her shoulder just as the large clawed hand smashed into the ground cracking the tiled floor. She fell back against him, both stumbling against the computers, knocking appliances to the ground with a crash.

"What is—?" Presea's damp eyes widened in horror as the creature forced its way through the doorframe.

"Move!" Lloyd pushed up, shoving her to the side as the clawed hand swept the shelf clear of the computers. Glass and sparks exploded across the ground and Lloyd cursed pushing to his feet. His eyes lifted to disfigured form of the creature above him, its head writhing in pain, the muscles stretched and bulging. It stood, torn rags hanging from its body.

Memories of Marble flashed through Lloyd's mind and he nearly dropped the swords, his eyes fastened on the glowing red orb on its face. It was watching him. This creature—no this person. It was a person. It was—

He grunted as the arm slammed into his side, throwing him over the shelf and against the next row. The edge drove into his back made him gasp in shock, dropping to the ground. He gripped his swords, hearing Presea cry out and jerked his head up, watching the sweep of the axe drive into the arm of the exebula.

"No—!" but his cry was drowned out by the cry of the creature. It swung its arm, the axe pulled from Presea's hands as it stumbled back, its arms hiding its face.

Presea stepped back just as Rodyle appeared in the doorway, two Desians between him and the exebula. "See what you have forced me to do, you inferior beings? Take the girl! I'll need her to replace this one."

The Desians rushed towards her, keeping a wary eye on the creature as it wailed in pain. Lloyd cursed and pushed off the ground, leaping onto the shelves and slashing his sword. One soldier shouted and ducked, but the sword made a clean swipe of the other from the shoulder across the chest. Presea moved back quickly, darting around, rushing back towards the exebula towards her axe at its feet.

Lloyd twisted and rushed after her, his swords crossing above him as he knelt over the young woman, the exebula's hand crashing down above them. He clenched his teeth, blood dripping on his face as his blades slipped easily into the skin of the creature.

"Move!" Lloyd snapped and Presea didn't hesitate, grabbing her axe and rushing back towards Rodyle.

He shoved upwards, pulling his swords apart, slashing the thick skin of the creature. It gave a low moaning, pulling back again, blood dripping down its arms in thick rivulets. He stepped back panting, glancing back at Presea as she battled with the Desians. He hesitated, turning to go help her when the voice echoed around him.

"_It hurts! Make it stop! Father it hurts! Where are you? It hurts!_" the wail struck him like a wall and he staggered forward just as the claw swung low and knocked his legs out from beneath him. He landed hard on the floor, grunting, before jerking and rolling to the side, the claw slamming into the ground.

He pushed to his feet, grabbing his swords tightly, his eyes wide as he stared at the creature. He knew that voice. He knew that—

"Kate—" He called out, half desperation and horror.

The monster froze, lowering its quivering arms as it stared down at him, its head rolling in agony. _"Kill me. Please, it hurts, kill me!"_

"No..." Lloyd stared, stepping back, clenching his swords with white-knuckled hands.

It wailed in pain, making him flinch, his blades quivering slightly. Behind him, Rodyle cursed and mana gathered, spells being released.

"_Kill me! It hurts! Kill me! Make it stop! Father—"_

"I won't kill you!" Lloyd shouted back and it fell quiet. He shook, his hands clenched.

For a moment, time stood still. The exebula—no, Kate, twisted, staring at him with only the quivering restrain of her body showing the effort and pain she was experience.

"_You're not Father. You're that boy. Half-elf friends. Father didn't come. Father said he'd come—"_

Lloyd could only stare as he listened to her weeping, the heavy wails of a creature with the anguish of an abandoned daughter. He nearly dropped his swords, seeing not an exebula, but a young girl longing for the respect of her father. A man, who never cared for her. A man—

"_Kill me. Please. Just kill me."_

"No." Lloyd gripped his swords once more, his voice hardening. "You don't have to die."

"_I have no reason to live! Kill me!" _

The exebula roared in anger and frustration, swiping at Lloyd with her claw. He stepped to the side and twisted his sword driving it through her hand into the cracked tiles. Ignoring the wailing moan, Lloyd used his remaining sword, flipping it in his hand and ramming the hilt into the back of the exebula's knee.

The creature buckled and dropped to one knee, tugging at her pin hand and wailing. Lloyd gritted his teeth and darted back around and rammed the hilt of his sword into the side of her head. She grunted, the wailing cutting off as she staggered, slumping a bit. Lloyd rammed the hilt once more, trying to control the strength of the hit.

The blow made her slump and fall forward with a moaning cry.

* * *

"What have you left to fight for, girl?" Rodyle spoke up, darting behind another set of his guards, keeping them between him and Presea. "You have no father, no sister, and no family. Why not just submit and—"

"You killed my sister!" She cried out, her wail equalling that of the exebula's as Lloyd battled with the creature. "You took my life away from me! You took away my time! I can't get that back!"

"Then why fight? Why prolong your pathetic existence, human. There is nothing left for you. Submit and you won't have to think about it—"

The axe cleaved a Desian in half right in front of the Cardinal, forcing him to stumble back against the wall. Presea panted, hefting the axe up into her hands and gripping the shaft tightly. "You took my life. You took my sister's—"

Rodyle laughed, nervous and pitched, his eyes narrowed, but stench of fear and sweat gave way to his growing panic. "You don't know anything, Girl! I never laid a hand on your sister! Go seek your vengeance on the one's truly responsible!"

She faltered staring at him with the thought she could possibly be mistaken. It was true, she only vaguely remembered this man. His strange visits and comments, that had been so confusing and vague before, were so clear now. Vharley had done this to her. Taken her, taken her sister because—

Because this man told him to.

She was shouting, what she didn't know and the axe was falling down, swinging down, singing with deathly beauty before it slammed into his chest, the sharp blade severing skin, tissue and muscles. Rib bones cracked and blood immediately blossomed around the grey metal of the axe.

Presea shook, staring at the half-elf gurgling blood as he slid down the wall, his small eyes vacant and glazing over as he slumped, the heavy axe dragging him to the ground. She let go, the wooden shaft clanking against the floor as she stumbled back. Her face and arms were sticky and wet, smeared with blood and sweat. Strands of hair clung to her face and chin, loosened from her ponytail.

He continued to stare at her, his hands twitching feebly, thin lips parting as blood gushed from his throat instead of words. And then, he slipped down, thumping against the ground soundlessly.

Presea could only stare in numb shock, stepping back until her heels collided with debris and she stumbled back, falling to the ground. Glass cutting her legs, but she barely noticed as hot tears flooded her eyes.

She had nothing left. He was right. There was nothing left. Her father and sister dead. Dead for so long and she didn't even—she had never been there. She had lost her past, her family. She was alone. All alone and no one left to—

Lloyd was there, approaching her, his quiet words not reaching her ears over the sobbing from—from her. She was crying and she couldn't stop. Her body wouldn't listen. She couldn't—

"Presea!"

Arms encircled her, pulling her close and her eyes snapped open, wide and stunned. The scent was familiar, spices and—

"Genis." Her voice cracked as she was pulled closer against the lanky frame.

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have come! Presea, please tell me you are okay? Please—"

"Genis..." She lifted her head, pulling back slightly from his embrace to find his pale face looking over her frantically. "You're... here..."

"Of course, I'm here! Do you know how freaked out I was when I read your letter? Why would you go without me? I would have helped you!" It wasn't hurt in his voice. It was utter concern and fear.

"I'm sorry, Genis. I didn't want you hurt—"

"And I don't want you hurt, Presea! That's why I'm here! To protect you! I want to protect you! I'm here for you. Do you hear me?"

His hands gripped her shoulders, the desperation on his face and roundness of his eyes made her smile weakly, tears slipping from her eyes. "I hear you, Genis."

Pale cheeks flushed slightly at her smile, but he didn't look away or move back. "Presea...I don't know what I would do if I... If you..."

"Lost me?" she finished his sentence softly. She was always finishing his sentences, cleaning up after him, helping him find misplaced things...

"Yeah..." he agreed weakly.

"I...Genis..." For once, she couldn't find words to say. So she didn't speak.

Blue eyes widened as Presea leaned forward and pressed her lips against Genis'. Their noses pressed together, neither moving nor knowing how to proceed. Suddenly, both pulled back, flushed, looking at each other and away.

"Oh... uh... wow..." Genis stammered, clearing his throat, rubbing the back of his neck before looking at her, face red. "So..."

Presea felt her cheeks heat too, but she shakily pushed up. "I need my axe and—"

"I'll get it! Just... Just wait." Genis sprang up, stumbling over the broken computers with long awkward legs. Presea blinked and looked after him, before smiling weakly.

No. She wasn't alone. She had Genis.

* * *

Lloyd blinked as he watched the younger teenagers awkwardly kiss, deciding it would be best to leave them alone. He glanced over at the doorway where Yuan and Raine stood, scanning the room, neither of them looking impress in the least.

Lloyd wasn't sure which he'd prefer to talk to first.

However, he wasn't going to wait. He looked down at the fallen and trembling exebula, partially unconscious from the blows to her head. He wasn't going to allow her to die. However, he wouldn't leave her like this either.

"Raine, could you assist me over here."

There was silence for a moment, but then he heard her footsteps cracking over the broken glass and the sharp inhale as she finally spotted Kate.

"Lloyd—"

"You can heal her, correct?" He lifted his gaze to meet hers.

She seemed to want to speak, but she must have seen something on his face that made her hesitate and sigh. "I'll try."

He nodded, removing his hand from the exebula's head. "Just hold on, Kate."

Raine glanced at him, but he didn't want to answer her questions. With another sigh, Raine took his place, holding her staff over the exebula's body, gathering her mana.

"I should have suspected this turn of events."

Lloyd didn't look at Yuan as he came up beside him, both regarding Kate's disfigured form. He wasn't ridiculing him and Lloyd couldn't be sure exactly what 'turn of events' Yuan was referring too. It didn't really matter. It was done with.

"Why are you with the Sages?" He turned the conversation, not wanting to argue with the half-elf in front of his friends. He was aware of Genis and Presea approaching the group.

"When Genis, here, discovered Presea missing, they came to me looking for the location. If you are attempting to perform a secret attack, don't go leaving notes telling of your location." He scoffed.

Lloyd glanced at Presea, but didn't comment. He wasn't insulted that they came. In fact, he was glad they had. With Raine here, Kate would be healed.

"So how are you going to explain this to Yggdrasill? I hope you don't expect me to try and cover for you." Yuan scoffed.

He lowered his eyes, wiping the blood from his blade and sheathing it before doing the same with the other. He turned, heading towards the broken door that led to the hall with the experiments. He didn't have to answer to Yuan and Yuan was probably not expecting an answer.

"Don't go disappearing. I want to talk to you later," Yuan called out, his tone clearly saying it wasn't a suggestion.

Lloyd didn't look back, but he would see Yuan on his own time.

"H-Hey, wait! Lloyd, where are you going?" Genis called out, frowning. "Don't you want to make sure Kate is alright—?"

"I'm the last person she'll want to see," he answered flatly, pausing. "I'm freeing the other experiments."

It took awhile, but it wasn't long before Genis was rushing through the doorway after him. "Lloyd, just a second..."

Lloyd paused before one of the doors, glancing at him. "It was Presea's choice to—"

"I'm not talking—well it is about that, but that's not what I wanted to say." He frowned, glancing back at her. "Thanks, for...protecting her. You know? I guess she was safer with you, than with me, but—"

"Presea came here to settle something with her past. I think we all understand the need to attempt it alone. But it wasn't in the fighting she needed help, it was after. And that's when you were there to comfort her, Genis. That's where your presence becomes the most important because only you can comfort her in the way she needs it." Lloyd frowned, settling his hand on the door, before looking at him. "I think you should go to her."

Genis hesitated, torn between staying and going, but Lloyd didn't wait, opening the door of the room and slipping inside. Genis didn't need to be a part of this. The green glow filled the room as Lloyd walked towards the panel, looking up at the victim hovering in the tank.

His fingers found the keys, emptying the tanks of the fluid.

He was going to set things right.

**Please Review**


	39. Chapter 39

**Listening **Home by Daughtry. **This song in particular really describes this chapter. It gives it the perfect tone and even the lyrics match. On a side note... I apologize for the large delay again. I didn't have time over Christmas break to write much and the University started again and I had a lot of readings to catch up on. However, I'm glad I finally managed to get it done. I hope you all enjoy and thank you for your patience and reviews. It means a lot.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia

**Chapter 39**

He wasn't sure what to think at that moment. His eyes scanned the peaceful face of the young half-elven woman. Kate had been in and out of consciousness since they brought her back to Luin. It was to be expected of course. Her body was still recovering from the effects of the exsphere, which left nothing but a scar on her collarbone.

Hesitantly, Lloyd reached over, slipping his hand beneath hers. He felt the slight reflex as her fingers curled around his hand. Her eyes darted beneath closed lids before finally peeling apart.

Lloyd knew she couldn't see clearly. She had lost her glasses at the ranch. "It's Lloyd." He clarified for her sake.

Her eyes flickered over to him, blinking weakly as she struggled to focus on him. "Lloyd..."

"You have been moved from the ranch. You are in a small town called Luin. How are you feeling?" He wasn't sure what else to say.

"Why did you bother to save me?" her words were soft, strained, but clear to Lloyd.

He immediately frowned, holding her weak gaze. "Because I could."

Her eyes were dull, unfocused and she turned her head aside to stare at the wall. "I would rather have died."

Her words twisted his heart, leaving him nearly speechless. His face twisted and he gripped her hand. "Because of your father." His tone was harsh and flat.

"He never came. What's the point? He doesn't care about me. He's never cared. All these years I thought I could... be something more to him. I didn't want to disgrace him because of what I am. I wanted to be useful, to be a good daughter—"

"You're father never cared about you. He threw you away, used you, manipulated you and left you to die. He never deserved a daughter like you; he never deserved to be a father. However, that doesn't mean you should die because of him. You aren't living for him. You are living for yourself. And you can. You are free to do what you like, to live and keep living." Lloyd gripped her hand tightly, his eyes fixated on her as his voice rose steadily in strength. "You helped us all those years ago in that room. You helped my friends, despite knowing the consequences. I will not let that be the reason you have to end your life. I will not let you live in that man's shadow."

Kate's eyes slowly moved back to him, meeting his own. The shock and disbelief filled her eyes, clearing away the dead light.

Lloyd only pressed on. "You have a second chance. A second chance at life, in creating a family that cares about you. Don't go wasting your time living in the past when you have a future to look towards. That man never gave you a chance to begin with. He cared for nothing but his own life."

Lloyd paused, considering telling her the truth, the truth of how her father had died. However, he realized, it wasn't important. It didn't matter that the Pope was dead. His relationship with Kate had been nothing but a fabrication of dishonesty and abuse. However, was it really fair to withhold that from her?

He'd look at her for a moment longer then stood, looking down at her.

"You deserve a second chance, Kate. That's why I didn't kill you. You gave my friends and me a second chance. Don't throw yours away."

The tears in her eyes confirmed that she understood him. He turned to go when he felt her hand grip his tightly, and he glanced back at her.

"Thank you, Lloyd. Thank you..." her words were weak and he could tell that she was still uncertain, but there was hope and a desire to believe in his words. He gave her a small nod, bidding her to rest and he slipped out of the room.

It was only then he realized the door hadn't been fully shut and he found himself the focus of all his friends and father. He stopped looking from face to face, noting the small smiles directed towards him. He grunted, frowning as his face heated, casting his eyes around for the young axe woman, whom was absent.

"Where is Presea?"

"She's just outside. Said she wanted to be alone." Genis offered, his smile faltering as he looked towards the door. But he turned his eyes back to Lloyd, studying him carefully. "Lloyd, what you said to Kate just now. You know, it sounded so..." he hesitated, his own cheeks flushing a bit as he struggled to find the appropriate word.

"Familiar," Raine finally filled in. "It was somewhat similar to your words in the past while on the Journey of Regeneration."

Lloyd eyed the Sages, casting a glance over to his father and Colette, whom both nodded. Frowning, Lloyd snorted slightly. "I hardly think so. I was telling the truth. That's all—"

"That is the point, Lloyd. It was the fact you speak the truth so bluntly. You see clearly the importance that no one else is able." Kratos closed his eyes. "Back then I believed it naivety, but clearly I was wrong."

Lloyd studied his father carefully and then turned his back on them, walking to the door. "Kate needs a key crest, as well as the other freed prisoners from the ranch. A letter should be sent to Dirk to come to Luin."

He didn't bother waiting for a response. He knew Raine would take it upon herself to write the letter. Their words tickled his thoughts, almost irritably. He didn't like the way they compared him to his younger self. Even if it was on similarities. It just reminded him of how different he really was. Yet, at the same time, he felt comfort knowing he was no longer a stranger to his friends. Nevertheless, he wasn't completely comfortable with them overhearing his conversation with Kate. And why did they have to smile like that when he came out?

He sighed as he stood on the steps outside, glancing around until he spotted the young woman kneeling next to a curled Noishe, near the side of the building. Her hand stroked the lazy protozoan rhythmically. The large ears twitched contently as Lloyd approached, sleepy eyes opening briefly to acknowledge him.

Smiling weakly, he crouched, scratching the creature's ear fondly.

"You are very fortunate, Lloyd." Presea lowered her hand to her lap.

"Why?"

"Though you have lost your past, some of your time, you still have those that were left behind." Her eyes lifted, staring unseeingly at the side of the inn before turning to regard him. "Your friends, your fathers and even Noishe. They have all remained, waiting for you, in some form. And when you returned, your life is slowly moving forward."

He held her gaze, keeping his silence. He knew this was more about her than him and after a moment, she shamefully lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry. It is not right to compare our pasts. I am just...envious of you, Lloyd. Since I returned to myself, I have kept the hope that my younger sister, Alicia was still alive, somewhere in Tethe'alla."

Lloyd released a breath and shifted his position, sitting with his back to the inn. Noishe whined and lifted his large head, nuzzling the young woman comfortingly.

"I was aware of your sister's death before going to Rodyle." He closed his eyes.

He could feel her eyes on him, and he opened his own forcing himself to look at her. "Where is she? Lloyd, please. I must know. You know how she died don't you?"

The desperation on her face was strange and foreign, but it was very real. "I know. And I know who killed her. I will take you to Tethe'alla if you wish to look for your sister's grave. If you wish it."

"It...It wasn't Rodyle?" confusion filled her eyes.

"No. It was not."

"Tell me."

"It is not my place—"

"Tell me, Lloyd!"

He looked at her startled, the shadows of the building only enhancing the paleness of her face. She had lost nearly everything. Her family, her home and past. The least he could do was give her the truth.

"A Duke Bryant confessed to being guilty for murdering Alicia," he said.

"Duke...Bryant? Alicia was working for—"

"Before you judge him, understand this. Duke Bryant killed your sister for the very same reasons my father killed my mother." Lloyd locked eyes with her. "Your sister was an experiment, just like you and Kate. But she was not compatible with the—"

"She became a monster." Presea finished quickly, her small shoulders trembling. "And he killed her—"

"Because she begged him to." Lloyd cut her off. "Just as my mother begged my father and Kate begged me. They were all in pain and Duke Bryant had no knowledge of how to fix your sister."

"You defend him." Anger laced her words, accusation and hurt. "You've spoken to him—"

"I have."

Presea frowned, frustration filling her face. "He didn't have to kill her. He could have...he could have tried something. Anything—"

"Presea—"

"He killed my sister!"

Her voice cracked and her head lowered down, bangs hiding her face. Her body shook as she struggled to maintain composure. To not cry. Even after all those years of being herself, the emotions conflicted with her mind and body. Lloyd doubted she had often allowed her emotions completely through as she had done these past two days.

But she needed to cry.

He pushed up, moving around next to her. Her choking gasps shaking her body and he wrapped his arms around her loosely. She responded with a choking sob and leaned into him, releasing the anger and fear building in her. It would take time to adapt, to move past the feeling of emptiness. The knowledge that her younger sister was no longer alive would be slow to come to terms with. Lloyd knew that there would be times she'd merely need to think of her sister and be near tears once again.

Yet it wasn't a bad thing.

Noishe whined softly, nuzzling Presea's side, sensing her sadness. Black eyes regarded Lloyd, but he just kept his hand on her back.

* * *

_He stood staring out, teetering on the edge of the platform. Behind him, his back twitched. There was an ache to ease his wings open instinctively as he balanced precariously on the edge. It was the third day since he was released from that room. A year and three days since—no..._

_He shivered, feeling a chill run through him as he tried to forget about that time. His stared out, struggling to understand his situation, to figure out what would happen now. His head ached, his throat too and he swallowed painfully against it. _

"_Lloyd, you should come inside." _

_That voice was odd to his ears. So odd, yet it was the only thing familiar in this place. He didn't move, shifting his feet closer to the edge, the pressure in his back building. Would his wings force their way out if he fell from this ledge? How far would he fall? Or would he fall forever..._

"_Lloyd, you're pale and feverish, come inside."_

"_Angels don't get sick." His voice, hoarse from disuse, quoted. No, he got that wrong. Goddesses, Goddesses don't get sick..._

"_Angels are still human, Lloyd." He felt a hand grip his arm and he hadn't the strength to resist. He tried to pull free once, but the grip was firm. _

"_No they aren't." He let his bitterness out. He felt it roiling inside him, the vile taste in his mouth as he let the words flow. "I haven't eaten in a year. I've barely slept. I hear my voice like an echo! Don't tell me I'm still human!"_

_He winced as he shouted, the sound of his voice ringing in his ears. Kratos said nothing, not even affected. It only made Lloyd bitterer._

"_That is why you are sick. Come inside to eat and rest."_

"_What is the point?" He didn't mean the words, they just came out. Still a part of him wondered 'why?' Why should he eat and rest? He didn't need to. He didn't need any of it—_

"_Because you are pale and feverish. You may not be required to eat in order to live, but your body still needs the nutrients to a degree and sleep never hurt anyone. You are not the Chosen, your humanity will return to you in time."_

_ Lloyd ignored the softness in his voice, the way Kratos' eyes wouldn't meet his own. "I don't give a damn! Just leave me alone—"_

_He tried to pull free, but Kratos wouldn't let him, instead he was pushed into another room. Panicked filled him and he turned to rush out, but Kratos merely pushed him along and into a chair. _

"_Eat."_

_A smell rose about his face and Lloyd looked down to see a broth. Chicken broth. He looked at Kratos questioningly, but the elder said nothing, seating himself across the table._

"_I'm not sick."_

_Kratos again said nothing, but the look he gave made Lloyd lift the spoon and ate. It had no taste. _

_The spoon fell back into the bowl and he looked away with a frown._

"_Angels are nothing more than what they are, Lloyd. You are a human with enhanced abilities. That is all."_

"_And wings." The bitterness lashed out again._

"_Yes, and wings."_

_The smell enticed him, but his stomach neither ached nor longed for the food. He pushed it away. "Then I am an angel."_

_Kratos eyed him carefully, frustration marking his brow. "You will be more yourself after you have eaten and rest."_

"_I can't damn it!" The chair scraped, the bowl spun and crashed onto the floor as his arm swept it off the table. "I can't eat or sleep, damn it! I'm nothing anymore! I'm an angel! I'm one of you! 'Angels serve Martel' you said! That's what you said! I'm just some stupid soulless angel forced to be loyal to that half-elf right? That's what an angel is!" _

_He couldn't cry. He could feel them, the pressure behind his eyes, but the tears would not fall and he shoved away from the table, only to stagger and slam into the wall. He choked, struggling to straighten himself as Kratos walked over. The smell of broth was on him and Lloyd noticed the stains on the uniform. _

'_Good,' he thought. _

_Kratos took his arm and led him to the bedroom. Lloyd couldn't resist, even if he tried. He fell on the bed, feeling Kratos shift the sheets around him._

"_Then it is a good thing you are not an angel, Lloyd."_

_Lloyd shivered with the sudden cold and slipped into the darkness._

* * *

Lloyd opened his eyes, looking out at the swirling, purple atmosphere, balancing precariously on the edge. The pressure in his back was as strong as ever as he taunted his mind with the prospect of falling.

Nearly seven years since he had stood on this same ledge. Eight since he first entered that room. His eyes roamed the sky and then down into the depths of the clouds. Nothing had changed. At least from a physical perspective.

However, things had changed.

He closed his eyes, turning and walking away from it. So much had changed in the past eight months. It was difficult to cope with. The struggle, the secrecy and dangers. Maybe he was a fool, returning. Maybe he was asking for trouble. But it was something he had to do.

His eyes glanced towards the room as he strode past. A room like every room on this comet. But different as well. One he hoped never to see again.

The familiar trek to Yggdrasill's throne room seemed all too short and he was standing before the doors. For a moment, he had no recollection of what he had been going to report. But after a moment he shook his head and pushed the doors open, striding in.

There was a difference to the room, to the scene. Nothing had changed, just simply how he saw it. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to bow and speak civilized. As Yggdrasill turned to regard him with narrowed eyes, he found himself nearly returning the look.

"Lord Yggdrasill." Lloyd spoke flatly, bowing before he betrayed himself.

"You're late. In fact, your absence lately has not been impressive in the least. I do hope you have a good excuse."

Lloyd regarded him, not bothering to respond to his bait. "Rodyle had been collecting materials on the Mana Cannon. He had also taken Kvar's research on the Angelus Project and is tempting to recreate the lost project in secret."

"Is that so?" A frown deepened on Yggdrasill's face. "I suppose then you expecting an order to eliminate him."

Lloyd lifted his eyes, meeting them. It then occurred to him that Yggdrasill didn't seem to know of Rodyle's death. He remained silent a moment longer then answered. "If you think it necessary, Lord Yggdrasill."

"Hmm. What I think is necessary?"

Lloyd tensed slightly at the mockery in Yggdrasill's voice, eyeing him warily. He remained silent, knowing the man was attempting for the slightest provocation.

"My concerns are not with Rodyle. Let him play with his experiments and scheme. I have little care about his pitiful attempts to undermine me. You, however, concern me." He turned his cold gaze upon Lloyd.

"I'm not a fool, Lloyd. I know you have been meeting up with your little friends. Yet, you return here. Each time. Do they know? That you have betrayed them? What sort of excuses have you given them?"

Lloyd held his tongue, regarding Yggdrasill's accusations carefully.

"I must commend you. Returning each time. Or is it because they don't accept you. Do they turn their backs on you for something that is not of your doing?" The anger in his voice rose steadily.

It was then Lloyd understood. Yggdrasill wasn't certain of these facts. He was guessing, based on Pronyma's reports. But there was more as well. He could hear the personal defence in the questioning. Lloyd recalled Kratos saying they had been betrayed during the Kharlan War, which ultimately resulted in Martel's death. He was paranoid of another betrayal.

"Well Lloyd?"

He lifted his gaze, meeting Yggdrasill's. "I have met them. There reaction towards the truth was as you expected. They know I am a part of Cruxis and they feel betrayed."

"Is that so?" His eyes narrowed.

"It is."

Yggdrasill frowned, studying him. "Then why have they not been eradicated, or brought here? You know very well they are a nuisance and a threat."

"I did not know it was part of my orders to do so. And, as it stands now, they are not a terrible threat, Lord Yggdrasill. With the Chosen's death and the group's disbandment, they can hardly cause trouble."

"Is that so?" he repeated, his expression unchanged. "Perhaps you are ignorant, Lloyd, but the Iselia Ranch was completely destroyed not that long ago. How would you explain that incident?"

"I have no explanation. Do you purpose the group has reunited and is causing trouble again?" Lloyd looked at him.

Yggdrasill's eyes scanned him, but Lloyd let nothing show on his face. He couldn't afford it. The reports from Pronyma would be influencing Yggdrasill's paranoia and suspicion.

"It's possible. A nuisance at most, but a nuisance nevertheless. One that I want to make clear must be eradicated."

"Your orders, Lord Yggdrasill?" Lloyd asked flatly.

"Kill them."

* * *

"Why did he go? He didn't need to go. He's been gone for so long—"

"Colette, you need to calm down. It has only been a few hours since he left. He said to give him at least a day." Raine gently reassured the expecting mother.

Breathing deeply, Colette nodded, but her pale face showed her nervousness as she gazed out the window searchingly. The hours seemed so long, dragging and stretched, much like she felt. Her feet and back ached, forcing her into her rocking chair. Since returning from Rodyle's ranch with Kate, Colette had barely gotten a word in with him. He had been distracted and she had decided to leave him alone until he was ready to talk. But it wasn't much later that he returned inside after speaking with Presea that he announced he was returning to Derris Kharlan to report to Yggdrasill.

She had been furious.

"You aren't going!"

Everyone's eyes were drawn to Colette, her flushed face dangerous as she directed her angry gaze at Lloyd. "You are not leaving again. Not after what just happened."

Lloyd had remained quiet, glancing at the Sages and his father, who had silently stood and walked to the other side of the house. He returned his gaze to his wife, stepping over to her.

"You know I don't want to—"

"Then don't go." Her voice lowered, nearly pleading now. "Your father can go. It can wait."

"Not this time, Colette." Lloyd gently put his arms around her, embracing her gently. "I need to go back."

She fought the tears, not knowing whether it was from her frustration or her hormones. It didn't matter as she gripped his shirt, refusing to release him. "What if something happens? What if you don't come back? What if he finds out—?"

"Colette, I promise I will come back. I always have. I will come back. To you and the baby." His hand lowered to her stomach, pressing his palm against her swelling belly.

"I don't want you to go," she selfishly pleaded. She knew it was selfish that he had no real choice. But it hardly seemed fair. When would it stop? When would he be able to stop? Everyday got more and more dangerous. When... when... when...

His lips found hers and she put her arms around his neck, her tears brushing against his cheeks. It was a sweet gentle kiss. Like the first one after he came back. There was a promise in it. A promise that he would come back, back to her, and back to their unborn baby.

She opened her eyes, looking back out the window with a heavy sigh. It was as if she could still taste his lips on hers. But he wasn't here right now. He was up there, on that comet with that man. What if he didn't come back? What if he was shut up again like before—?

The footsteps matched her heartbeat and she whirled away from the window, rushing towards the door. Her friends looked up startled, but she ignored them as she threw the door open, Lloyd's hand half raised as his surprised eyes slowly glinted with his smile.

"Hello Col—"

She didn't let him finish and her mouth covered his, rising on her toes to reach him. He bowed slightly, easing her stretch and gently embraced her, returning the kiss. His hands found the small of her back and she longed to press close against him. But the pronounced bump on her belly pushed them apart, as if the baby was jealous of the lack of attention.

Colette smiled, looking up at Lloyd's face. There was something different about it. Something that had changed. Not physically, but in the way his eyes seemed to glow and smile. The shadows were gone, that concern and worry that clouded them. It was gone.

"Lloyd..." her voice trailed off, stepping back as he came in, shutting the door behind him. He seemed so much lighter, yet she couldn't say how exactly.

He turned back to her, his hand still on the small of her back, keeping her close. He scanned her face before meeting with her eyes. I'm back, Colette. And I'm staying."

"Staying? What do you mean you are staying?" Colette blinked, but the flutter in her stomach, the hope she felt rising. Staying... he was staying...

The others had all risen, confused expressions clearly demanding the same answer. Even Kratos, frowned at his words.

"Well I finally decided something," Lloyd said quietly. Kneeling, he placed his hands on her belly, looking at it, but seeing something else."I want to be here, when he's born. I want to hold him and hear him cry. I want to see him open his eyes and see me, to know me and know that I'm his Daddy. I want to be with you when he says his first word, and walks and crawls. I want all that. And maybe I'm selfish.

I'm putting you all in danger because I want those little things. But they aren't so little; they are the most important things in the world. You... our baby, and our friends. I want that and I decided to stay. I'm not going back; I'm going to stop him my way, with all you. I know it might not be easy, that it will be dangerous, but I will face that danger if it means I get to hold my child."

"Oh Lloyd," Colette whispered, tears in her eyes, her hands over his.

"And I want to do all that with you Colette. To be with you."

Colette choked, tears running down her cheeks as she smiled, gripping his hands. He was staying, he was actually staying. She hadn't allowed herself to even consider it possible, but now, he was here, telling her—

"Lloyd, we will be here to protect her as well." Raine smiled gently.

"Yes, we will all help," Presea agreed.

"That's right!" Genis exclaimed and then smirked. "Just one thing, Lloyd. What if it's a girl? You still want to do all those things, cause you kept say he-ow! Raine! I was just joking!"

"Be quiet Genis, before I send you outside. Lloyd will be a wonderful father, regardless of the gender. Though I'm sure if it's a girl, she will definitely be spoiled." Raine's smile grew slightly.

Genis laughed. "Oh you got that right. It'd be like having a little Colette run around. Lloyd would be following her everywhere and freaking out! I can't wait to see that!"

Colette smiled listening to her friends tease Lloyd. He was taking it good-naturally though. "I believe Anna once said the same thing, before Lloyd was born. That if the baby were a girl, she'd have me wrapped around her finger. I believe that was the phrase she used, though, I can't see why the gender would make a difference—"

Kratos cut off when he noticed everyone looking at him with little smiles and curious looks. He coughed and looked aside.

Lloyd laughed, but his eyes returned to Colette's belly, rubbing the bump affectionately, his words soft and barely audible, but perfectly clear to Colette, "To answer your question, Genis, yes, even if the baby is a girl. I am going to be there."

**Review Please.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Listening to **If Today was Your Last Day by Nickelback. **So this chapter came out a little quicker. Things are picking up, which is a good thing. I'm going to be kept busy trying to remember to get everything I want to get into it. Hopefully I can. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews everyone and taking the time to read it! Always love to hear from you. Enjoy!**

**Also, if anyone was curious as to how Genis appears in this fanfic, I've uploaded a drawing of him on my DeviantArt account. PM me if you'd like a link.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 40:**

"No. I made my mind up. I'm not leaving—"

"Lloyd, Yuan isn't a part of Cruxis. You know that as well as I. He wants to talk to you. Why not just go see what he has to say and—"

"He'll want to send me on another little errand run. No. I promised Colette I was staying."

Raine sighed, rubbing her forehead. "It's not like you are returning to Cruxis. Go listen to what he has to say. Besides, Colette isn't due for another month and you aren't going to be sitting around the house that whole time fretting."

Lloyd gave her an irritated glance, his ears burning as Colette giggled.

"Lloyd, don't be mad at her." Colette squeezed his hand, lacing her fingers through his. She lifted her eyes to Raine. "Do you know what he wants? I remember him coming here, but Kratos wouldn't let him in the door."

Raine sighed, rubbing her temples. Lloyd thought that action made her look old and he briefly wondered if he could get away with telling her that...

"No, I don't know what he wants. Though, he did say Sheena and Zelos are involved."

Lloyd frowned. "I wonder how he managed that."

"I don't know. Regardless, you should go see him. You did agree to when we were at the ranch, remember?" She tapped the table, looking at him pointedly.

"That was before I decided to have nothing to do with it anymore—"

"You can't just up and walk away, Lloyd. I know it must feel euphoric with the decision you just made, but don't be blind. You are still very much involved. We all are. Besides, didn't you say you were going to take down Cruxis with our help?"

Lloyd sighed heavily, rubbing his face. "Fine. Fine."

Colette looked at him anxiously and Lloyd glanced at Raine. Understanding, she rose, excusing herself from the table. Lloyd sighed again, frowning at the table.

"Lloyd, it's not your fault. I know... I know there are things you have to do. If...If I wasn't pregnant, I would be helping you." Colette gripped his arm.

"I said I wouldn't leave anymore. It hasn't even been a day—"

"But you aren't going back to Cruxis. You're fighting it, right?" She tried to smile, but Lloyd could see she was just as upset as he was.

He leaned back, putting his arms around her. "Yes, Colette. I'm fighting Cruxis. I'm not going back to them. I mean what I said about staying. I wouldn't leave now if I didn't have to..." He stopped, frowning looking down at her. "I won't go see Yuan if you don't want me to. Just tell me and I'll stay here with you for longer. You've waited seven years; he could wait a few days." His voice was low, a soft whisper in her ear and he could feel her shiver, nuzzling her face against his neck.

"They've been waiting too, Lloyd. We all have. We've needed you; we fell apart when you were taken. I won't make you stay. I trust you and I believe you. You've never broken your promises to me. If you have to go, I'll wait for you. I'll wait, I promise."

Lloyd felt her take his hand, placing it over her stomach, his eyes closing as she whispered again. "I'll wait for you to come back, okay?"

He knew she couldn't control that promise, but he took her face and kissed her gently. Why did he have to leave her like this? He had been so close and he didn't deserve her patience.

"I love you, Colette," he whispered quietly, resting his forehead on hers his eyes closed as he held her face.

"I know. I love you too, Lloyd."

* * *

"Finally. It's about time you showed up. I was beginning to think Yggdrasill had locked you up again." Yuan pushed up from his chair, waving away the guards.

"Was the escort really necessary?" Lloyd glanced back over his shoulder as the door shut before turning back to Yuan.

"This is a rebel base, Lloyd. And you are a Cruxian Angel—"

"Not anymore."

Yuan stopped, lifting his gaze. "Pardon?"

"You heard me. Now what do you want?"

The half-elf frowned, ignoring his question. "You left Cruxis? Just like that."

Lloyd sighed, suddenly regretting for informing Yuan of his decision. To him, it had never been an issue of 'if' just 'when' and Lloyd felt that time had come. It wasn't as if he had ever really been loyal to Cruxis. Superficially yes, but he had always kept a part of himself free and buried. It had just been buried very deep until he had met Colette...

"Are you insane, Lloyd? Do you know what Yggdrasill will do when he finds out you have left? He'll kill you and your pretty little wife and unborn child—"

Lloyd glared at him. "He will not touch them. I refuse to be Yggdrasill's lapdog anymore, Yuan. I'm tired of pretending and going around in circles. He knows I've made contact. It was only a matter of time before he shut me away again. I'm going to fight him, like I should have been doing, instead of licking his boot."

It took Lloyd a moment to register the slow smile spreading to Yuan's face as he walked around his desk, his arms folding. Immediately, Lloyd became guarded realizing something he said pleased Yuan immensely.

"I'm not joining the Renegades, if that's what you are thinking." Lloyd reminded him curtly.

"I didn't say you were. But your newfound resolve definitely makes my next request easier." Yuan smirked leaning on the edge of his desk.

"What makes you think I'll agree to anymore of your little requests?"

"Sheena and Zelos are planning to visit the Summon Spirit Volt in Tethe'alla." Yuan ignored Lloyd's frown and continued. "Sheena has agreed to make a pact with Volt in an effort to oppose Cruxis. Of course, she has failed in the past which is why they need you."

Lloyd frowned. "Why me?"

"Volt speaks in the old language of the elves. One that you have been schooled in it by Kratos. I trust you remembered you rigorous tutoring with your father?"

"Even if I have, why can't you just do it?" Lloyd irritably pointed out.

"Putting myself so blatantly in the open like that would not only risk my own neck, but also the Renegades."

"So I should risk my neck because you are a coward." Lloyd narrowed his eyes.

"Another way to put it is that you have an opportunity to help your friends, oppose Cruxis and strengthen your own team in one move. Are you willing to bypass that?"

Lloyd frowned looking aside as he considered his options. Yuan—unfortunately—made a decent argument. Gaining access to Volt would also assist in passing between the two worlds, though he had yet a need to do so, it would be useful. Only, however, if Yuan agreed to lend them rheairds.

"What do you gain out of this?"

Yuan smirked. "I've been suggesting this idea to Sheena for years now. Your friends were too stubborn to trust me and cooperate—"

"I wonder why. You tried to kill Colette and kidnapped me." Lloyd pointed out. "Look, I'll agree under a couple of conditions. First, you allow the group access to your dimensional transfer system and rheairds. Secondly, do not make contact with my wife in any point." Lloyd eyes narrowed. "I know you went to the house that day, otherwise you wouldn't know I was at Rodyle's Ranch. So if I find out you've been there all deals are off with me. Understood?"

"My, so touchy." Yuan chuckled. "Though, speaking of your wife, are you confident to leave her on her own again?"

"Dad is there, as well as Raine. I trust them."

"Hmm. Anyway, I'll leave your wife alone, alright? Now, I believe Zelos and Sheena are waiting in the hangar. You should get going."

* * *

"Lloyd! You came!" Sheena smiled getting to her feet, Corrine clambering up from her lap to her shoulder. "We were starting to think you wouldn't..."

"I was just notified of your plans," he said, walking over.

Zelos frowned as he watched Sheena inquired about Colette and the baby. It was obvious Lloyd didn't want to be here, but it wasn't like they could do this without him. That irritated Zelos more than anything.

"You ready to leave then?"

"We've been ready for days, waiting for you." Zelos replied curtly, pushing up. "And here I thought the women were tardy."

"Zelos," Sheena scolded. "Yes, Lloyd we are ready to go. We'll take the rheairds as far as—"

"I doubt you'll get far on them. Once we get through the transfer system, we'll have to land and find the Flanoir port."

"Whoa, whoa wait. Why can't we just fly? I mean we have the machines, why can't we just use them?" Zelos frowned. Walking across a frozen continent and sailing wasn't exactly what he had in mind.

"Because the Sylvarant seals have been released and the mana won't allow the rheairds to last long. We will need Volt's assistance if we want to fly them."

"But Yuan said he has them fully charged and ready to go?" Sheena frowned. "Besides, Tethe'alla has more mana than Sylvarant does. They should be fine."

"It's unstable. If you wish to fly them, go ahead." Lloyd frowned. "I'll be taking a ship."

Zelos sighed and looked at Sheena. "I'm going to kick Yuan's ass."

"Yeah, you think he would have filled us in on this before letting us leave." Sheena scowled walking over to the control panel. She quickly activated the machines, the hangar humming and vibrating as the rheairds hovered, ready to go.

Lloyd wordlessly settled on the first one, examining the controls carefully. Zelos nearly scoffed, watching him. In Zelos' opinion, Lloyd was turning out to be more and more like his father. What sort of man leaves his pregnant wife behind, eight months along no doubt? Zelos wouldn't do that. Hell no. If Sheena were pregnant, he wouldn't let her out of his sight. He'd ignore everything else and tell them to go to hell.

His eyes drifted to his girl, standing next to Lloyd as she gave some extra instructions on how to work the machine. She'd hate it. Probably call him paranoid or overprotective. He wouldn't care. He'd rather be suffocating and pushed back, then not there at all. It was easier to push, than to pull in his opinion.

"Zelos, what are you doing? We're ready to go?" Sheena huffed. "I'm not repeating myself; you'll have to figure out how to run it yourself."

He smirked, walking over to his machine. Little did she know, he already knew how to work it. Being allied with the Renegades had its perks, but she still didn't know that. She didn't have to.

"Yeah, yeah, Babe. I hear ya."

"Let's go." Lloyd said over the noise and the next moment, his rheaird thrummed with life and shot forward through the tunnel. Sheena was only moments behind, leaving Zelos to sigh and follow suit.

He really did hate the snow.

Zelos banked his rheaird, his eyes glancing down to the fuel tank, watching it wave at him erratically, dropping slowly, but surely, just as Lloyd said it would.

"Damn, know-it-all." Zelos muttered to himself as he angled the rheaird and lowered it down next to the others. He frowned as the fresh snow swirled around, blown up from the machine, which he quickly shut down.

"Wow, I'm glad we did stop. It shouldn't have taken that much fuel just to cross over." Sheena frowned at the fuel gauge. "How did you know it would happen, Lloyd?"

"Logic." Lloyd replied, stepping off the machine.

Zelos rolled his eyes, doing the same. He looked around, noticing the snowy city nearby. "We should probably stop and get warmer clothing before we head out."

"You two go ahead, I'll head to the port and line up a ship passage." Lloyd pulled a wing pack from his pocket, packing around the rheairds quickly.

Sheena blinked. "I didn't know you had one of those."

"Dad provided one for me when I went out on my first mission." He explained then frowned, eyeing it for a moment before he pocketed.

"Speaking of...missions," Zelos started, "Aren't you going to be missed by Yggdrasill? Or what excuse did you give him this time?"

"I left." Lloyd grabbed his pack, shouldering it.

"Left?" Sheena stared. "Do you mean like you—"

"You ditched Cruxis?" Zelos frowned. "What was all this talk about it being too dangerous to do that?"

"I decided I was tired of being a coward. My excuses were just that. I was blind to think things would be safer with my being there. So I left."

Zelos frowned for a moment, but then smirked, looking aside. He supposed even cowards gained a little common sense eventually. He should know...

"Lloyd that's great! That means you'll be able to spend more time with Colette and the baby and—"

"Sheena, Babe, if you want him to do that, then let's get this over with." Zelos walked over, slipping his arm around her waist, steering her towards the city with him. He lifted his other hand in a backward wave, calling over his shoulder. "We'll be at the inn. Let us know when you have a ship lined up for us."

Lloyd didn't respond, but Zelos could feel the mana as Lloyd released his wings and took off. Sheena was looking back over her shoulder, watching him leave.

"It would be handy, to have wings, don't you think?"

Zelos frowned. "Maybe, maybe not.

Sheena rolled her eyes, shivering a bit. "You are always so neutral about everything. How come whenever I want your opinion, you never give it?"

Zelos glanced down at her, smirking as he kissed her temple, looking back ahead. "Because it's fun to tease you, Babe and makes things more exciting."

She huffed, but leaned her head on his shoulder as they walked towards the city. The snow crunched under their feet and the flakes speckled their hair. Sheena commented on how beautiful the city looked. Zelos could only nod and watch the falling flakes remembering how much he hated the snow.

But with Sheena on his arm and her raven hair dusted with white flakes, Zelos found he didn't hate it quite so much.

* * *

"Genis!"

The young half-elf's eyes widen as land below them rushed towards them. He struggled with the machine, trying to pull it level. Behind him, Presea reached around, grabbing the handles over his and pulled back, tilting the machine just as they slammed into the ground.

The jolt caused Genis to land hard on the handles, gasping for breath as Presea's body only added to the force. He groaned and felt his grip go slack, tilting from his seat as the rheaird skidded to a stop.

Coughing, his arm slipping around his bruised chest, he felt Presea half slide and fall off the rheaird. He wanted to turn and check to see if she was alright, but any movement caused his lungs to ache and winced in pain.

"Genis? Genis, are you alright?" Presea's voice rose a little and he felt her hands on him, helping him off the machine.

"Ow—Damn that hurt..." he grimaced, doubled over a bit, trying to catch his breath.

"I'm sorry. I added to your injury. Let me see." She coaxed him to sit on the ground, pulling his arm away with his reluctance.

"Presea, it's okay-! Wh-what are you doing?" He flushed as she tugged his shirt up, instantly trying to prevent her.

"I have to see if you have broken any ribs." Her pale eyes lifted, filled with concern. It made Genis hesitate, though his ears burned hotly.

"B-but..."

She ignored his stammering protest, pulling his shirt and arm up. She frowned and he flushed, suddenly aware she was looking at his bare chest and stomach—

He stiffened, feeling her fingers pressing against his ribs. For a moment, it was a sharp jolt of pain and he gritted his teeth. But only a second later that he struggled to contain the flush spreading across his cheeks.

"U-uh, P-Presea?"

"Does it hurt?" she asked, pausing to look at him.

"Uh- no- I mean... yes, but I..."

"It doesn't look like you've broken anything, just bruised. But once we reach a city, we should wrap it to be sure."

"Uh... right." Genis relaxed as she pulled back, lowering his shirt. "So, do you... know where we are?"

Presea studied his face for a moment, a curious expression, which only made him blush even more, before pushing to her feet. "I believe we are in the Meltokio region. The city does seem familiar, though it has been so long."

Hesitating, Genis slowly pushed up, watching her. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I am not injured."

Genis smiled weakly. "No. I mean like...are you okay, with being back here? Maybe we should have waited for Lloyd to—"

"Lloyd left without a word. Raine said it had something to do with Sheena and Zelos, which is most likely related to coming here." Her eyes wandered the landscape before landing on Genis. "I am tired of waiting for someone else to tell me what I should or should not be doing. I want to see my sister's grave and I want to see her killer. Do you understand?"

Genis frowned but nodded. "Yeah, I do. I just want you to be okay."

She scanned his face again, then smiled weakly. "Thank you, Genis. I will let you know if I am not okay. I know you are worried."

He laughed weakly, rubbing his neck then reached over, taking her hand. "Good. I should start taking care of you; you've been taking care of me for all these years."

"You blush a lot, Genis." Presea smiled gently and gripped his hand, looking around again. "I think we should go this way. I think that is Meltokio in the distance."

"Really?" Genis grinned then glanced back. "I guess we'll have to leave the rheaird here. Yuan won't be too happy when he finds out it's busted."

"I'm sure he's alright upset that we stole it from his hangar. Perhaps it would have been wiser to ask how to use them first."

"But that defeats the purpose of stealing them. And Yuan would never have leant one to me. He doesn't like me."

"That is true. Then I suppose it doesn't matter. Let's go."

* * *

The island drew near and Lloyd sighed, his breath frosty on the chilled air. Despite leaving behind the frozen continent, the coldness had yet to leave as well. He closed his eyes, feeling the wind brush around him. It gave the sensation of flying, but more grounded. He had always wanted to sail. That first trip from Izoold to Palmacosta had been exhilarating, but the boat had been so small and cramped, it hadn't had the same feel as this one.

"Sheena? Don't be nervous. I'm here okay?"

Lloyd glanced over his shoulder, hearing the small voice of Corrine above the wind. His eyes found them further down the rail, Sheena leaning against it, staring at the looming island and temple.

"I know, Corrine. But, what if it happens again? What if I fail? What if Lloyd or...or Zelos gets hurt because I-..."

"Sheena, you won't fail! You are stronger now. And you have me and Lloyd!" Corrine lifted his paw, touching her arm. The little bell on his neck jingled gently.

"And not Zelos?" Sheena smiled, laughing gently.

"Zelos is useless!" the little growl nearly made Lloyd laugh himself.

Sheena gently scratched the summon spirits head. "Now, he's not that bad. He is pretty useless, but..."

"Sheena..." Corrine pouted. "Why don't you hate him anymore?"

Sheena only laughed, rubbing Corrine's back before glancing over to Zelos who strode over. Lloyd watched him smile, mumbling something in her ear making him slap his chest, but smile. Without another word, Zelos led her off, his hand rubbing her hip, keeping her close.

Lloyd glanced back to see Corrine sitting, watching them leave, his head just a little lower than usual. With a sigh, Lloyd walked over, making the summon spirit look up with a jingle of his bell.

"Lonely?"

Corrine eyed him before looking back to Sheena and Zelos' departure. "She doesn't need me anymore. Sheena is happy with Zelos."

Lloyd turned, leaning back against the rail, staring across the ship at the ocean. "I don't think that's true. You're just as important to her as you've ever been."

"Lloyd?" the little creature spoke up, looking up at him.

He glanced over at him. "Hmm?"

"Are you happy now?"

Lloyd stared at him, frowning slightly. "Pardon?"

"You seem happy. When I saw you in Meltokio, when you were mean to Sheena, you weren't happy. But you are now, right?"

"Yes, I suppose I am."

"Then you will help Sheena be happy too? She is scared to fight Volt. She is always scared of him. You can help her not be scared?"

Lloyd frowned, looking at him, then where Sheena and Zelos left. "What do you mean she's scared to fight him? She made a pact with Undine easily enough."

"Volt was different. Volt was mad and he hurt Sheena. He hurt her a lot and her family." Corrine sat back on his haunches. "She is scared to be hurt again. She doesn't believe in herself. But I do. I believe Sheena will beat him. Will you believe in her too?"

Lloyd smirked at the little summon spirit's words. Believe in something, in someone. For a long time he hadn't believed in anything but the cold, hard logic that would help him survive. He supposed he had changed a lot since then. He believed in more too, but he had never really considered it before.

"I'll believe in her." Lloyd looked down at him; lifting his hand to stroke Corrine's back. "But I think you're belief will help her more than anything. You've never betrayed her trust, Corrine. You've been with her a lot longer than both Zelos and me. What you do and say counts more than anything."

Corrine's mouth opened a little, but the sailors began to shout out orders, startling the little creature. With a quick glance at Lloyd, Corrine hopped down off the railing, darting around the feet of sailors to find Sheena.

Lloyd leaned back and frowned, watching as the dock slowly inched closer. The looming moss- covered tower of the temple like a foreboding warning rising from the ground, its shadow stretching out, touching the front of the ship as pulled in.

**Review Please.**


	41. Chapter 41

**Listening to **All the Things She said by t.A.T.u. and Revolution by Trading Yesterday. **The first song fits Sheena perfectly, especially for this chapter, definitely gets into her mindset. The second one is more for Lloyd.  
Well this chapter is a long one and was a challenge to write, but I have definitely been looking forward to writing it for quite awhile. So I hope you all enjoy it. I'd like to once again thank everyone who reviews, reads and I'd like to welcome any new readers as well. It is always encouraging to see everyone enjoying the story. You are all the best! **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 41: **

She could feel them behind her, watching, waiting as she stood before the altar. Her heart pound against her chest like thunder; her nerves were electric like lightning. She could feel it in the air, remember the taste and the smell of burning flesh as those around her—

Sheena bowed her head, lifting her hands to begin the summoning. It was not the time for those thoughts. It never was, but it wasn't like she could ever shut them away. They were always before her, all these years.

Her hands moved with quick fluidity and precision, her fingers folding and rising in accordance to the ritual. She remembered, how difficult it had been to get it ready, her small hands had been so clumsy. At nine years she had been so naive to think she could control a summon spirit. Perhaps it was the village's naivety and unreal expectations of a child. But Sheena couldn't begin to blame them. It was her fault. It had always been her fault...

Mana swirled around her, rising like torrent, the crackle of electricity travelling along the currents as it gathered above the altar. Her eyes opened as the mana converged and twisted into a mass of electricity, sparking and snapping. Her eyes found the golden irises of the spirit. He was unchanged and Sheena flinched stepping back as his body rose above the altar.

On her shoulder, Corrine nuzzled her cheek. Sheena blinked swallowing; reminding herself that she was not that nine-year-old girl. She was an adult now, a woman.

Then he started speaking...

"Not again," Sheena whispered, her body trembling and fingers curling. She struggled to understand, to interpret the incessant clicking sound that was his language. How could it be a language? How could anyone understand that?

"Sheena, calm down. He merely wishes to challenge your worth."

She blinked, glancing back over her shoulder as Lloyd's voice rose up, cutting through the ancient language. "Ch-challenge my worth?"

"Do you remember when we fought Undine? It's a test, Sheena. Nothing more." Lloyd's voice remained calm, his eyes reaching her from even the distance below the balcony she stood upon. She swallowed, her eyes turning back up towards Volt, feeling the mana gathering. A sharp snap and crackle, the light blinding her as the jolts of electricity exploded from the spirit.

"Sheena!" Zelos roared over the thunder.

Sheena screamed, raising her arms in a futile attempt to block the attack. The lighting struck her side, throwing her back against the railing and flipping over the edge. The ground raced up to meet her and she shut them tightly, crying out as the memory flashed across her mind.

"I gotcha." A grunt echoed in her ear and she felt herself collide heavily into something. Arms encircled her back and legs. She snapped open her eyes, finding Zelos' holding her closely to him as rose from his knee.

Her side burned where it pressed against his stomach, but she could only gasp in shock, tears rushing down her face. Her eyes darted around, twisting in Zelos' grip. They were all dead—they were all dead they—

Zelos hastily placed her down, but kept a grip on her arm. Sheena's eyes darted around, Corrine's bell tinkling as he darted around her feet, anxiously. There was no one there. No bodies.

"Babe... Sheena. It's alright. No one's hurt." Zelos' hushed voice whispered in her ear, his grip firm, but reassuring.

"But... but..."

She stiffened, her head snapping up as Volt descended from the altar, his mana crackling again, threatening foreboding. His voice was like a disrupted communication frequency, clicking and buzzing.

"What do you want? Stop it! Leave me alone!"

He wasn't listening. Lightning exploded again, jolts zapping the floor in a stream drawing closer to her. She couldn't move, the flashing lights holding her frozen in time. Trapped by her memories—

_"Grandfather!"_

"Sheena! Move it damn it!" Zelos shouted, and she was flying to the side, stumbling and sliding along the stone, gasping as the lightning exploded on its target.

"No!" The scream ripped from her throat as she watch Zelos stagger and drop to the ground, smoke curling off his back where the lightning had struck him.

She screamed, scrambling and crawling across the floor, her eyes only on Zelos' motionless form. "Zelos!"

Her hands grabbed his head, brushing the hair from his face shakily; her eyes wide and horrified. "Zelos, no! No! You can't do this! Not again! Please no!"

She lowered her face to his, tears streaming down her cheeks. The noise around her was deafening as Volt crackled, but none of that mattered anymore. Sobs racked her body as she kissed his head, her choking voice pleading with Zelos.

"Wake up. Zelos Wake up, damn it!"

"Sheena!" Corrine's voice cried out, his bell ringing behind her. She just shook her head, staring at the twisted grimace on Zelos' face, her eyes stinging.

Volt's voice echoed in her head, the hum of electricity as he moved around, hovering, speaking in his intelligible language.

"Stop it! Stop hurting, Sheena!" Corrine's voice was shrill. "I won't let you hurt her! I won't let you hurt, Sheena anymore!"

Sound of running and Sheena found Lloyd kneeling beside Zelos, his hand lying on his back. "Sheena, you have to get up and fight."

She shook her head, her eyes not leaving Zelos. "I-I can't—I can't do it!"

"Sheena—" He cursed.

The sounds of electricity snapping, the familiar pull of mana as it gathered. Her eyes remained fastened on Zelos, until she saw his forehead crease, his face twitching, mouth parting in a groan.

"Zelos—!"

"Leave Sheena alone!"

She blinked, twisting around at Corrine's voice just as another explosion flashed around her. She flinched, instantly bending to shield Zelos, waiting for the jolting pain again. Then her eyes widen, Corrine's squeaking cry.

"Corrine—!" she snapped her head up and stared. Lloyd's form stood like a silhouette between her and Volt. In his one hand, he clutched Corrine to his chest, curled around his arm, while his other hand brandishing his sword, deflecting the electricity.

"Lloyd..." Sheena stared, feeling Zelos groan and shift beneath her.

"This is your fight, Sheena. Not mine. It's not Zelos' or Corrine's. It's your fight. You against Volt. He won't stop haunting your past if you don't stop him. He wants you to prove yourself."

The electricity popped and winked out, Lloyd lowering his blade, turning to face her. Shadows hid his face, Volt's illuminating form behind him. He stood like a barrier, the only thing between her and her past. The past she wanted to run from.

"H-How can I—"

"We all believe you can accomplish this Sheena. I believe it. You only need to believe in yourself. Fight him, Sheena. Make the pact and end this. Only when you end it can you move forward. Are you going to let it hold you back? This is your life, Sheena. Don't let your fear control it anymore." He smiled weakly. "You can do it."

"He's right, Babe..." Sheena looked down, finding Zelos' hand gripping hers. "Go give that bastard hell for me, will ya?"

"Zelos..." She frowned, then looked back up at Lloyd, her tears drying on her cheeks as she gently stood up, moving Zelos from her lap.

She took a breath, her eyes turning to Corrine who hung from Lloyd's arm, his tail twitching as he wriggled. "Go get him, Sheena!"

She smiled, then turned her eyes to Volt, narrowing them as she stepped forward, walking past Lloyd. "I'm ready."

* * *

Zelos winced as he leaned back against the wall, feeling his clothes rubbing against the burn on his back, sending fiery pain through his nerves. Perched on his raised knee, Corrine twitched anxiously with every exploding flash of lightning.

Gently, Zelos laid a hand on the back of the little summon spirit, feeling him twitch under his touch, glancing back to look at him. For once, the little creature didn't growl; rather, Corrine looked at him for a long moment before speaking.

"Thank you."

Zelos smirked weakly, scratching Corrine's ear. "You're not the only one that wants to protect her little guy."

Corrine blinked then looked back at Sheena as she dodged a lightning strike from Volt, throwing a seal at the summon spirit. Her hands were a blur as she performed the spell gestures. Suddenly black smoke burst from the card, circling volt and constricting his movements as Lloyd deflected a lighting strike from Sheena.

"I couldn't protect Sheena." Corrine tilted his head, his bell jingling and his little ears lowering slightly. "Zelos protected Sheena and Lloyd protected Corrine. Corrine does nothing."

"Hey now, furball. You stood up for her. Gave that Volt a piece of your mind. That takes guts." Zelos chuckled, wincing.

"But Lloyd—"

"Look...Corrine. Lloyd knows how important you are to Sheena. She was already freaked out when I was hit, what do you think would have happened if you had gotten fried too? You probably wouldn't have survived that..." Zelos trailed off, watching Lloyd forcing Volt back. "The guy knew what he was doing. He gets that kind of stuff. The fact you stood up against Volt shows more than dying if you didn't have to."

Corrine stayed quiet then turned, putting his forepaws on Zelos' chest, looking up at him. "We protect, Sheena?"

"Yeah, we did."

Corrine twitched his tail then gently nudged Zelos' chin before hopping off his lap. "Sheena can't get through Volt's shield. It's too strong."

Zelos frowned, watching them fight. Lloyd wasn't going full out, that much was obvious. He was only defensive, guarding Sheena like a shadow, letting her make the moves and the orders. He knew it was Sheena's fight, but Lloyd didn't know Sheena's limitations like Zelos did. She had no way of piercing that shield of electrical energy on her own.

With a grunt of pain, Zelos slowly pushed up off the floor, gathering mana to ease the pain on his back with a quick healing spell. Corrine stood near his feet, looking up at him. "Zelos?"

"It's okay, Corrine. I'm just going to lend Sheena hand for a second," he said, unsheathing his sword.

Then he rushed into the chaos.

"Zelos?" Sheena cried out as he rushed past, dodging to the side as Volt turned to lash out at him with electricity. Gritting his teeth, Zelos ducked and rolled forward, stumbling a bit as he regained his feet, ignoring the crashing explosion behind him

"Not this time, Buddy." Zelos hissed and he swung his sword up, sparking flashing off his sword as it scraped against the metal.

Volt said something, but Zelos didn't really care and he ducked around the convulsing currents of the summon spirit, feeling the static and jolts through his body. He gritted his teeth then gripped his sword with both hands and rammed it forward, the blade cracking and then screaming against the fractured shield as it shattered, the burst throwing Zelos back against the ground.

With a grunt, he rolled to the side as Volt slammed the ground with a bolt of lightning, gasping as he watched Sheena rush forward, dancing and twisting through the lightning like a dancer. Her body moving up and around, her feet light and quick. Zelos could only stare as she weaved through the danger as if it were moving in slow motion. The lightning flickered and flashed, illuminating the delicate shape of her face, sparking the fire in her hazel eyes.

Zelos smirked to himself as Sheena evaded every attack that Volt through at her, knowing the summon spirit didn't stand a chance against his girl. She was a ninja, a force of speed, agility and grace. Even if she messed up, even if she fell once in a while, Zelos didn't care. She was his girl and he'd make sure she could do anything.

* * *

Sheena rushed toward Volt, ignoring the static jolting and teasing her nerves. She knew what Zelos had done. The shield was gone and she had to act now before Volt raised it again. She could see the lightning flashing before her, twisting to the left, ducking under the current. Her shoes twisted against the stone floor as she spun, flipping over a lightning strike, feeling her nerves frazzle at the proximity of the attack. But she didn't stop.

Her eyes found the golden orbs of Volts seconds before she ducked under the spirit and slapped the seal in her hand against his core. She closed her eyes, feeling the twisting and churning electric mana around her, travelling through her arm.

"I have you Volt..." she whispered, low. "Pyre Seal!"

The seal erupted and the fire engulfed Volt's core. Sheena turned her face away as the smoke billowed around her and she stumbled back as Volt's voice echoed and clicked as he was thrown back. Flames licked behind the electric current and eyes, the Summon Spirit faltering and dropping down to the floor.

He sheathed his swords, watching as Sheena turned from the smoking Summon Spirit and rushed over to Zelos struggling to rise from the floor. Corrine's bell rang out as he darted around them, praising Sheena.

Lloyd smirked, glancing over at Volt as the flames flickered out and the light rose again to the golden orbs of his eyes. The energy crackled and circled, spreading out as the core rose off the ground. The summon spirit regained his form, as if the battle had not even occurred, hovering and waiting for Sheena to rise and speak with him.

"You have shown your worth, both courage and heart. Make your vow, Summoner." Lloyd translated, glancing at Sheena, who now stood before Volt.

Lloyd knew the change that had come over her was both mental and physical. Her face was upturned, unflinching as she faced the tormentor of her past. She had conquered the being that had kept her tethered down, and it was obvious she felt relief at the burden removed from her shoulders.

"For the sake of everyone that risked their lives to protect me and those unable to protect themselves, I will save both worlds." Her eyes lifted, meeting Volt's unblinking gaze.

"The vow is accepted," Lloyd said quietly, watching as Volt began to dissipate, his mana flowing towards Sheena.

Lloyd couldn't help but smile weakly as the pact with Volt was completed. For a moment, no one moved, Sheena staring numbly as she held a clenched fist to her chest.

"It's over...," she whispered, eyes closing with a smile.

"Yeah, Babe," Zelos said softly, slipping his arms around her waist from behind, his face near her neck. "It's over now. You beat him."

Lloyd turned away as he heard Sheena choke, moving to hug Zelos, Corrine's belly ringing as he jumped around their feet, congratulating Sheena. A part of him felt jealousy towards them. Sheena's ordeal was over, her past set right and defeated and Zelos most likely shared her relief. But, despite making the decision to move forward, Lloyd knew he was only putting his past behind him, leaving it like a shadow to trail after him.

Was it fair? No. However, his own tormentors would be faced in due time. In the beginning, he despised Yuan for having to force him to come along with Sheena and Zelos. But now, he felt that maybe it was a good thing. He couldn't move forward, not like them.

His eyes lingered on the couple as they embraced, whispering softly to each other. Weak chuckles from both of them made him smirk and start heading for the exit. He couldn't move forward until he faced his past, like Sheena had. Then he could share a moment with Colette like that. Just him and her and their child, with nothing threatening them from the shadows.

Closing his eyes, he nearly made it to the exit when he stopped, stiffening as he felt mana rising up again. Frowning, he turned to look towards the altar; the stunned expression on Sheena's face confirmed his own senses.

Walking back, he watched as the mana surged together in two points, a burst of light illuminating the temple temporarily. His eyes narrowed, passing between the two summon spirits that had reappeared.

"Sheena, what's going on?" He asked, stepping up beside her.

"I-I don't know. They just appeared—"

"The link between the two worlds has been severed." Undine's soft voice flowed out like an echo in the temple.

"The link?" Lloyd asked, frowning. What link? He couldn't recall learning of any links during his studies on Derris Kharlan.

His eyes turned to Volt as the summon spirit's archaic language filled the room.

"What? What is the dude saying, Lloyd?" Zelos glanced at Lloyd, also frowning.

"He says there is a link, between the summon spirits of the two worlds and that it has been broken, due to the pacts," Lloyd translated.

"Wait? The summon spirits are the ones holding the worlds together like that?" Sheena looked from them to Lloyd. "What does that mean then? If it is broken?"

"I'm not sure." Lloyd confessed, glancing up at the summon spirits. "Do you have an answer?"

"Mana flows from the world in which the summon spirits are asleep to the world in which the summon spirits are awake. Never have the summon spirits of both worlds been awaken at the same time. Thus, the mana that connects the two worlds has been eliminated," Undine answered.

Lloyd frowned, glancing at Volt. "If the link has been severed, then the connection that binds the two worlds is broken and the worlds are no longer distributing mana to one another, correct?"

Volt answered and Lloyd's frown deepened. "How can you not know? Isn't that your responsibility? Have they stopped vying for each other's mana or not?"

"All we know is that the link has been severed and that eventually the worlds will separate at the very least." Undine clarified. However, before anyone could speak, both summon spirits dissipated, leaving them to consider what had been said.

"Well, that's a bit drastic." Zelos rubbed his chin. "That probably isn't a very good thing right now."

"What are you talking about? It's perfect!" Sheena turned looking at Lloyd. "Lloyd, think about it. Don't you remember? After the Tower of Salvation? You said you wanted to fix the world, to stop sacrificing, right? Wouldn't this work?"

Lloyd frowned, "That was a long time ago, Sheena. We have to consider—"

"No, listen. If the world splits apart, then they won't be competing for mana right?" She glanced at the summon spirits and then back a Lloyd.

"Well it's a possibility," he nodded reluctantly. "But we have to consider too, what effect will it have on the worlds? Will the worlds be able to survive that way?"

"We can ask, Yuan." Zelos shrugged. "Like you said, Lloyd, it's a possibility. Besides, you always did seem to give pretty cheesy speeches if I remember, wanting to save Colette and all. You seemed really set on it." Then Zelos glanced at him. "Unless of course, now that you've grown up, you've changed your mind. Wouldn't blame you, they were really cheesy speeches."

Lloyd stared at him, slowly frowning. Cheesy speeches. He supposed that was an appropriate description. Closing his eyes, he could almost hear his own voice echoing in his ear...

"_I want a world where everyone can have a normal life."_

He turned, walking back towards the exit.

_"I tired of people having to become sacrifices. I'm tired of discrimination. I'm tired of people becoming victims. I'm tired of it all._

_ 'So was I, Lloyd. This is why I have changed the worlds as I have. You can understand that, right? The two worlds vying for each other's mana is the only way to sustain them while we work towards the New Age.'_

_ "No! We need to change that structure!"_

"_And how do you propose you will do that? You have not the power."_

"_This world was made by you! If you can change it, then so can I!"_

Lloyd could still remember Yggdrasill's amused laughter filling the room. Even as he walked, he could still hear the adult like tone Yggdrasill used, as if addressing a child that simply did not grasp the concept.

'_You speak like I once did. I too am a sublime idealist. I ended the Ancient War by insisting there was a way for the two warring countries to coexist in peace. Of course, that way didn't last long and certain measures had to be taken. Are you saying you can accomplish what I already have tried? Don't you understand, there is no other way. Peace cannot be achieved by those who do not wish it.'_

Lloyd's hand clenched, his jaw hard as he stared ahead at the approaching doorway of the temple. Behind him, Sheena and Zelos hurried after him, calling to him, but he ignored them, the flashback as vivid in his mind as it was that day. His own deeper voice, overlapping his teenage one in a low, dark growl.

"I'm not _you."_

_ "I want to save the two worlds my way, with the help of my friends."_

_ "Well, unfortunately for you, your friends are not here."_

"Lloyd, just wait, what's wrong—" Sheena reached up to grab his shoulder, but he had already stopped, standing before the open door, staring at the sunlight filtering through.

"Will you help me?"

He barely considered the words as they left his mouth, but he didn't regret them. How could he?

"Help you? Help you do what?" Zelos strolled up, tilting his head curiously with his hands behind it.

"I'm going to end this. I'm going to stop this cycle between the two worlds that Yggdrasill has created. If severing the links between the summon spirits is a way to do that, I will take that chance."

"What if something goes wrong?"

"Then we'll deal with it when the time comes. But in order to act, we need a plan. This is the only lead that we have thus far. I plan to take advantage of it."

Sheena grinned when he glanced at her, her face alight. Even Corrine, sitting on her shoulder looked at him with curiosity. "Lloyd, you really mean it?"

"If we are going to do this, you will have to make pacts with the other summon spirits. Are you prepared to handle that?" Lloyd turned his attention back to Sheena.

"Of course! I can't believe this is happening! We are actually going to do this! After all these years we..." She paused, looking at him, smiling gently. "You really haven't changed, you know that?"

Lloyd looked back at her, glancing at Zelos, then smirked turning back to the door, walking out. "It'll have to wait until after the baby is born. I made Colette a promise. I plan to keep it."

As he walked out, he could hear Zelos murmur to Sheena. "I guess he's back after all."

Lloyd could almost hear the smile in Sheena's voice. "Yes, he is."

* * *

Lloyd sighed as he trailed behind the couple, traversing Meltokio's streets. The little detour was not something he had anticipated, but both Sheena and Zelos argued that they had important things to attend to.

"I have to write a letter to Mizuho and explain what's going on with the chief." Sheena explained. "We do have responsibilities you know."

"You said it, Babe. I have to go pay Queen Hilda a visit and report too. My absence will have been missed, I'm sure you can already tell by the happy looks on the noblewoman's—"

"Finish that sentence and I'll go back to Sylvarant alone and leave you here." Sheena threatened. "Report to Queen Hilda and then come right back to your mansion, understood?"

"Aw, Sheena, Babe. Alright, alright. No fooling around, gotcha." Zelos grinned, slipping his arm around her waist as they walked. "Isn't she just so concerned, Lloyd?"

"About your libido, most likely. How long is this going to take exactly?"

"A couple hours. Look, we'll try to hurry, I know you are eager to get home." Sheena glanced over apologetic.

Eager was an understatement.

"Never mind," Lloyd waved it off. He knew Sheena's desire to write Mizuho had an underlying motivation to it. Reporting that she had successfully formed a pact with Volt may be a way of proving herself to the village.

As they were nearing the castle, he was pulled from his thoughts by a familiar voice. A loud and irritated voice.

Stopping and glancing over towards the castle, he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. Undoubtedly, Genis stood facing a pair of guards, with Presea just behind, arguing at loudly with them.

"What do you mean I can't have an audience with her? This is important!"

"Either calm down or will have you arrested." The guards countered back. "Everyone has important business, but everyone has to follow the proper conduct—"

"It'll take two minutes—"

"This is your last warning, kid." The guard was losing his patience.

"Kid—" Genis growled, gripping his spear.

"What seems to be the problem?" Lloyd smoothly intervened, casting a glance at Genis and Presea, the latter looking much more relieved than the former.

Genis' eyes widen. "Lloyd—"

"Sir Aurion!" the guards straightened, greeting him almost as if he was a commander. "Is there something you need?"

"Sir Aurion?" Genis gaped, staring between them.

"No. I just happened to recognize my friends here. They need an attendance with the Queen?"

"Yes, Sir. However, the Queen isn't seeing anyone at the present time. We explained that tomorrow would be more appropriate—"

"I understand. Genis, Presea." Lloyd glanced at them, motioning his head for them to follow as he turned, walking back towards Sheena and Zelos, who looked on curiously.

"Aurion? Why are they calling you—?"

"Bud, here, used that name as an alias after he saved Queen Hilda." Zelos raised an eyebrow glancing at the younger two. "Hey, Brat, what are you and little Rosebud doing here?"

"Wait saved Queen—never mind." Genis scowled, turning to Lloyd. "I could ask you the same thing. Where the hell did you go, Lloyd? Raine said something about you going to talk to Yuan and then you never left a note or anything. Colette didn't even know anything more than that either!"

"I had to assist Sheena in forming a pact with Volt." Lloyd answered calmly, though frowning slightly. "Is Colette alright?"

"Other than worried about you, yeah she's fine. Raine and Kratos are watching her."

"That's good," Lloyd sighed, slightly relieved. "Though, perhaps you could explain why you are both here? And how you came to be here?"

"Well, Presea wants to find, um..." Genis hesitated glancing at Presea.

"I wish to meet Alicia's killer. But when you left without informing either Genis or I, we decided to come here on our own."

Lloyd sighed, rubbing his forehead. "You stole rheairds from Yuan, didn't you?"

"Just one. But we crashed it. It died on us or something." Genis frowned.

"Of course." Lloyd sighed looking between them, then over at Sheena and Zelos. "I'll leave two of the rheairds with you, and give Presea and Genis mine to share. We'll have to go to the Research Laboratory to gain a second wing pack though. So I'll have the rheairds dropped off at Zelos' mansion."

"Wait, where are you going?" Sheena frowned.

"I'll go with Genis and Presea. You both can finish your business and head back to Sylvarant if you wish. We'll follow when we have settled things here."

"You'll take us?" Genis looked at him surprised, but hopeful grin.

"Judging by how you were handling the guards just a few minutes ago, I think it'd be unwise to do otherwise," he said, turning to walk down the street.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Genis scowled.

"Exactly how it sounds."

"You know, you really do sound like your dad. It's getting weird," Genis grumbled

Lloyd smirked, closing his eyes until he heard Presea's soft voice. He glanced over to see her looking at him, a weak smile on her face.

"Thank you, Lloyd."

He hesitated,then nodded. "You're welcome."

**Review Please.**


	42. Chapter 42

**Listening to **Promise of a Lifetime by Kutless.**This song fits all the characters for the chapter really. Anyway, This chapter was pretty long, again, but I hope it doesn't feel too rushed. I will admit I even teared up a bit while writing, though while I was writing certain parts I made myself listen to sad songs. So I cheated a bit. But as always, I want to thank everyone who reviews. You really do make writing a hundred times better when I get to see your reactions. So thank you everyone for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy!**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 42:**

He knew they were looking at his wings as he flew parallel to them, leading them towards the island resort. His large wings flapped steadily, effortlessly carrying through the air. He knew they had only seen them once before, that day when he had turned his back on them. He was grateful for the noise of the wind rushing around them. He didn't really feel like answering the awkward questions that would undoubtedly come from his younger friend.

Glancing over at them, Lloyd caught Genis' eye, the younger half-elf meeting his eye, slightly embarrassed before looking ahead. They were symbolic, regardless of what he had decided in those past days. The wings on his back would always represent those years he had been in Cruxis. Even thought he had not done so willingly, he had, for a brief moment, betrayed his friends, accepted his role. It was something he never expected to be fully forgiven for.

He was such a hypocrite...

They landed outside the city, Lloyd dismissing his wings immediately as he touched the ground. Genis and Presea slipped off the rheaird quietly, both glancing at him silently.

When Genis finally did speak up, he gave an awkward smile that didn't completely mask the uncertainty in his voice. "So those are pretty...uh... convenient then huh?"

"I suppose." Lloyd glanced over at him.

Thankfully, Genis didn't try to press the conversation, though Lloyd could tell he wanted to. Instead, he tactfully changed the subject. "So how do you know Alicia's killer? Presea said that you actually met him."

Lloyd packed away the rheaird, pocketing the wing pack. "I came across him while on a mission for Yuan, while I was still involved in Cruxis. It was connected to the incident with the Queen and the Pope as well.

"That big old fat guy we met? What happened?" Genis tilted his head curiously.

"The Pope, apparently, had a legitimate birth right to the throne; however he only came second to the Queen. He tried to have her poisoned, making it seem like she was suffering from an illness.

"What? Really?" Genis frowned. "That's low. So is he—"

"He was arrested and sent to prison." Lloyd stared straight ahead. "I heard he was killed."

"So how is Duke Bryant related to this?" Presea asked quietly.

She hadn't spoken much since they had met with Lloyd. Her expression was pale and hollow, but a burning anger in her eyes flickered as she mentioned the man's name.

"A man named Vharley had connections with the Pope. He was a part of the scheme that resulted in your sister's death." Lloyd paused, frowning. "I think it will be better if we wait until Duke Bryant is present.

Genis went to argue, his ears slightly red with anger, but Presea nodded, cutting him off. "Alright."

Lloyd led them into the city silently. He had never been to Altamira before, but, by asking the locals, he managed to locate the transit system that transported them to the Lezareno Building. Lloyd was mildly impressed with the structure of the city. The use of underwater tracks was ingenious, considering it allowed for quite a large expansion of the city over the water. Though he was only vaguely familiar with Altamira, based on what he had learned from Yuan, he knew that the entire resort was owned by Duke Bryant himself and the company of Lezareno was one of the leading supplies in Tethe'alla. It was no wonder that Yuan was concerned from the company's well-being...

As they travelled along the track, he cast a glance at Presea and Genis, sitting at the back seat together. They were talking quietly; or rather, Genis was talking to Presea. He had a grip on her hand, looking at her determinedly.

"I'm not going to let that guy get away with anything Presea. I promise."

Lloyd frowned, but said nothing, turning his eyes back to the large building rising from the water. The track lifted slightly out of the water and slipped into the building, parking within the lobby room itself. Stepping out of the transit car, he quickly questioned the conductor on the whereabouts of Duke Bryant's office.

"Take the elevator to third floor. He should be in." The conductor absently motioned to the open elevator systems to either side of the room.

Glancing back at the young two, Lloyd motioned for them to follow, leading them to the elevator. As Presea stepped in, Lloyd gripped Genis' arm. "Don't start anything unnecessary."

Genis blinked, then frowned at him, jerking his arm free. "I'm here for Presea." He retorted flatly, before following her. Lloyd just sighed, stepping on as well, before lifting the lever to the third floor.

* * *

Her eyes stared at the moving walls as the elevator lifted them towards the correct floor. In her mind, Presea couldn't prevent the images of destruction and anger. She could see herself gripping her axe and destroying the man that took her sister from her, looking down at his bleeding form.

Yet, despite it all, she felt no satisfaction from doing so. It was the same was when she drove her axe blade into Rodyle. It was just an overwhelming emptiness consuming her mind. It didn't give anything back, it didn't fill the void. When the anger left, she was just nothing...

She didn't want that.

The gates clicked open and she stood motionless. Even as Lloyd walked past, stepping out into the office, she found herself unable to move. She could see the man, sitting at the desk at the far end of the room. The sunlight coming through the large window masked most of his features, but she felt the pit of her stomach dropping.

"Presea?" Genis looked at her quietly.

She felt his hand take hers and she gripped it tightly, letting him walk her forward. Her eyes had yet to leave the man.

"Duke Bryant." Lloyd spoke out, standing before the desk, his tall form half blocking Presea and Genis' view.

"Ah... Aurion, wasn't it?" There was age to his voice, but it carried strongly. "How good to see you again. What brings this unexpected visit—?"

As the man stood, his eyes fell onto Presea, a haunting expression crossing his face. She could only stare at him in return, her eyes scanning his aging face. Streaks of gray lined his hair over the temples. Lines around his eyes and mouth made him appear even more middle aged. It was not what she expected.

Her mind could not grasp how her little sister could fall for such a man. But then, that had been years ago. Twenty-three years ago, since she last saw her little sister. It was so difficult to imagine her grown...

"You're Presea."

She locked eyes with him, all her readied threats and anger dissipating as she stared at the older man. The only thought crossing her mind left her lips.

"Where is my sister?"

His eyebrows came together a bit, in an expression she knew was pain. Why did he so quickly—so easily show an emotion for her sister, when she still had trouble expressing her own?

"She is on the sky terrace. I'll take you there."

She watched him stepping around the desk, walking towards the elevator. She wanted to yell, to shout at him, but her tongue felt heavy, her mind blank. Without a second thought, she started after him, releasing Genis' hand.

"Presea—"

"Genis." Lloyd gently cut in. They fell silent, shadowing her, though she barely noticed. Her eyes shifted to the side, to the man standing just to her right. He was tall, now that he stood. She barely reached his shoulder. For the first time, she noticed how he awkwardly held his hands before him, the distinct clink of metal on metal. Just beneath his jacket sleeves, she could see the metal cuffs around his wrists.

Her eyes lifted to his face, but it was like he couldn't bring himself to look at her. His eyes were cast downward, his body rigidly facing straight ahead. In front of her, Lloyd and Genis stood quiet; though Genis did glance backward anxiously, finding her gaze with a weak smile.

She tried, but her own fell short. She couldn't describe the pain it caused to rise up in her, just to try to force a smile for him. She felt a pressure within her face, a sting in her eyes and an ache within her throat. She breathed in deeply, only to find herself nearly gasping with the inhale.

The elevator clicked open, the gates spreading to either side. The men stepped off and she followed behind Regal, her feet moving wilfully. She had felt this emotion before. This absence of thought, of feeling. It was like her body was autonomous, her mind blank. It reminded her of the day she had killed Rodyle. Would she lose control like that again? Would she be forced to kill this man?

She wanted to. She really did...

"Alicia liked coming up here. It was her idea to plant the garden." Regal's voice made her look up. As she stood under the arch, she found herself looking upon a beautiful flower garden. An intricate fountain rose up from the background. The entire garden was surrounded by a small moat that fed back into the fountain. The sound of trickling water filled the air along with the sounds of the flowers rustling in the wind. There were hundreds of them, white lily like flowers, crowding together in their beds, surrounding the fountain.

However, her eyes were drawn to the raised stone just before the fountain. She stepped forward, out of the shadow of the arch. The tears slipped out as she walked towards the grave, her legs giving out as she reached it, dropping to her knees upon the cobbled ground.

_Alicia Combatir  
Forever loved; never forgotten_

Presea opened her mouth, the tears flooding her eyes as she reached out her hand, her fingers touching the etching of the gravestone. It was cold and chilled. She could only close her eyes, seeing her smiling younger sister, rushing towards her giggling with arms wide open.

_"Presea!"_

"Alicia..."

She choked; her body shaking as she hung her head. She felt a pair of arms encircle her from the side. She turned, wrapping her arms around Genis, releasing a choking sob.

"Presea...I'm sorry," Genis whispered quietly, holding her closely. "I..."

"Why..." She choked, pulling her head back, sharply, twisting and pushing to her feet. Her eyes found Regal, standing to the side, his face somber. She clenched her teeth, her chest heaving as she struggled to breathe, to calm—

"Why?"

They were all silent, the water continuing to trickle along without heed. She felt like she couldn't breathe. Each one faster than before, her head pounding, but she refused to look away from him. Her eyes bore into him, unrelenting. Until finally he lifted his gaze to hers.

"I'm s—"

The slap rang out across the terrace. Regal's face remained motionless to the side, the redness of his cheek showing faintly. Presea trembled, looking up at him.

"I want to kill you."

Her tone was flat, empty. Even as she said the words, she felt her pulse quicken, her anger bubbling up inside her. She couldn't control it, couldn't control the words spilling from her mouth. The years of waiting, or hoping and praying that her sister was still alive. The years she longed to see her little sister once again. Just to...

"You killed her. You killed my sister. My... my little sister!" She cried out, unable to stop the stream of tears. "Why do you get to live and she doesn't?"

"Presea." Lloyd stepped forward from the edge of the garden. His tone made her turn to look at him.

Her face twisted, shaking her head. "You defend him! You...why do you defend him? You saved Kate. You...you saved Kate. Why couldn't he have saved Alicia? She didn't deserve to—to die. He..."

"Alicia's death wasn't something that anyone could control. Regal did not have the power, or the ability to save your sister from the torment of her suffering." Lloyd stopped in front of her. She looked up at him. She struggled to stop the tears, to control herself, but her body refused to cooperate. She stifled a sob, choking as he continued to speak.

"'He did save her, Presea. Sometimes, death can be a way to save someone. Though I wish it wasn't." He frowned. "When I choose to save Kate, I did so because I longed for a way to save those that weren't able to be saved. Who are seemingly trapped in a hell that none of us can understand. We can only imagine what it'd be like to experience that transformation. I recall Colette saying that Clara..., another who went through the same thing, was constantly crying out in pain."

Presea shook her head, choking. "It's not fair! Why wasn't it me? I went through the experiment too! Why couldn't she live—?"

"No! Presea! Don't say that!" Genis rushed over, grabbing her hand. "Please don't say—"

"You both suffered, Presea. It is simply a matter of how." Lloyd gently interrupted. "But can you understand, Alicia begged Regal to kill her, the one she loved, the one that loved her."

Presea lifted her eyes, her breaths deep and shaky. "She did...?" She turned looking back at Regal, her eyes searching his face desperately.

"Yes. She did. She had become afraid of herself." Regal hesitated, lifting his eyes to her. "I did love your sister, Presea. I was prepared to do anything for her. So when she asked me to...to..." He couldn't finish it, his voice cutting out. Clearing it gently, he continued. "I do take responsibility for her death. It was my hands that ended her life."

Presea shook her head, looking at his hands, shackled before him. Her throat ached as she swallowed, closing her eyes.

"He did what she asked him to. To end her suffering and pain. That decision would never be an easy one. It would be no different if you asked Genis to end your life."

Her eyes snapped open, lifting to Lloyd's face, then over to Genis. "N-No. I would never—"

"Even if you were trying to kill him?" Lloyd stated flatly.

Her eyes widen and she could only stare at Genis. She made to speak, choking on her words before she simply hung her head, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I...I understand," she said softly. "Please. I'd like to be alone with my sister."

She didn't wait to see if they'd leave, turning back towards the grave, lowering to her knees as she stared upon it. She never imagined his would be what it was like, coming back to her world, to her home. There was nothing left for her, stripped away by the years, leaving her behind and alone. Her hand touched the sun-warmed stone, her fingers finding the engravings of her sister's name.

"Alicia..." she whispered, her voice giving out as she hung her head. "Did you really love him? Were you happy?"

_"Are you sure you want to go? You don't have to—"_

_ "I want to help to. Daddy is sick and you are working hard. I want to help you, Presea."_

_ "But Altamira is so far away and you don't even know this guy..."_

_ "I'll be okay. You taught me how to be strong, Presea. Besides, I'll come home to see you soon, okay?"_

_ "Okay..."_

But she never had.

Presea blinked, brushing her hand across her eyes. "I don't...remember anything, Alicia. Not after that day. I...I can't remember if you tried to come back..."

Everything after that day had been a haze. She had already been wearing the exsphere for a few days. It had been difficult, to even remember anything from that time. She could see bits and pieces, floating in her mind, like a puzzle struggling to be put together.

Her eyes open again, looking at the grave only to find a small red stone resting in the centre of it, just above her name. Her heart stopped, staring at what she knew had been Alicia's exsphere. Alicia's life...

"Alicia... are you there?" Presea reached up, gently touching the stone. As she felt the cool stone, it seemed to warm ever so slightly at her touch.

"Most likely. But even if she wanted to respond, she could not." Lloyd's voice carried over.

Presea twisted her head around, looking at him. "What do you mean?"

"Exspheres are like...a parasite, in the way that it interacts with humans. It absorbs what it is attached too. Your sister's consciousness would have been absorbed with her death."

Her eyes widen, looking back at the exsphere, glinting in the sunlight. "She—she's trapped in there?"

He didn't say anything, his footsteps carrying him closer as she shook. She could feel his shadow stretch over her. Was she trapped? Was she still suffering? After all these years?

Or maybe she was okay. Maybe Alicia could see her right now. Could hear her and was happy—"

"You can feel the warmth that it emits. She is there, but barely. She is unable to move, to respond in any other way..."

"C-Can she stay like this? Can she—" she turned to look at him, but her voice cut off at the look on his face. Lloyd didn't need to speak for her to know. To stay like that, unable to be a person, to exist...Presea knew what that was like. She had lived that way for years, unable to control her own life. She had existed, but she hadn't been alive.

Her eyes rested back on the stone, her hand lowering as she swallowed the ache in her throat. "Can you set her free? Can you destroy the exsphere and let her rest?"

"Yes."

She closed her eyes, taking a shaky breath as she rose from the ground, stepping back. Lloyd stood at her side. She glanced up at him, his expression unreadable as he stepped forward, unsheathing his sword.

_"Daddy! Presea! Look at the butterfly!"_

Her hands clenched.

_"I want to be just like you, Presea. I want to be strong and help Daddy..."_

Her tears flowed silently down her cheeks.

_"We'll always be together, right, Presea? Just like Mommy is with us?"_

"Goodbye..."

_"I'll see you again soon, Presea."_

"Alicia."

The sword slashed through the exsphere, the stone exploding into thousands of shards as they hung on the wind. The glittering pieces drifted and floated up as the breeze cradled and carried them out into the sky.

* * *

"It's not fair."

Lloyd glanced away from Presea and Regal as they spoke, their tones low. He turned to Genis, sitting at his side near the elevator within Regal's office.

"I know."

Genis frowned, looking over at Presea. "When we travelled together, she would tell me stories about her Dad and sister and stuff. When she woke up, after your Dad—er,...Dirk made her a key crest, she said she had vague memories of her dad's death. It was a long time before she could cry about it."

Lloyd nodded, keeping his silence.

"We should have gone back sooner...Maybe it was my fault. Maybe if I had—"

"The incident happened long before Presea even recovered. Before we had even reached Tethe'alla to begin with." Lloyd looked at him. "There was nothing more you could do."

"I just...I know it's corny, but I just want to protect her and make her happy. Alicia was the one thing that she would always make her happy. Just talking about her. But..."

"You made her happy."

Genis' head snapped up, his eyes wide for a moment, before his face turned red. "W-What are you talking about? I just helped her out and stuff..."

Lloyd smirked, recalling the moment in the church, when Genis first laid eyes on Presea. It had been so obvious in the way he would stare and stammer. He really hadn't changed all that much—at least in regards to Presea.

"She's lucky to have you, Genis." Lloyd lifted his eyes to Presea. "And I'm sure she knows it."

"When did you turn into such a sap?" the young half-elf muttered.

Lloyd smirked, closing his eyes. "I suppose after I married Colette. I'm certain you'll turn into a 'sap' too, when you are ready to propose to Presea."

"H-Hey shut up!" Genis punched him, then wincing a bit, rubbing his hand as Lloyd raised an eyebrow. "You know...it still is weird to think about. You and Colette...married and stuff."

"Is it?"

"Yeah, it is. I mean, you are what, almost twenty-five now? Colette's nearly twenty-four and here I am, still nineteen."

"Turning twenty." Lloyd added. "It's only four or five years difference."

"Well, yeah, but it feels further than that. I don't know. You both already act like adults and I still...well feel like a kid. Especially around you." He frowned.

Lloyd looked at him curiously, then sighed, weakly smiling. "Presea, doesn't see you that way. At least, when she doesn't have to pick up after you—"

"She does not pick up after me!"

"Raine informed me that she does—"

"Oh shut up!" Genis grumbled, pushing up. "At least I know how to cook."

Lloyd blinked. "How—"

Genis smirked, looking down at him. "Colette told me."

With a grunt, Lloyd pushed up, making a mental note to talk with Colette.

"Are you two fighting again?" Presea asked, walking over, Regal a step behind.

Lloyd smirked, letting Genis try to explain. He glanced at Regal and stepped toward the older man. "I apologize, if this has been difficult. It wasn't exactly planned—"

"No. I'm grateful that you brought her." His eyes looked to Presea. "We both found closure, as well as Alicia. Presea told me what you did for her. I was unaware of—" He closed his eyes. "Thank you, Aurion."

"Lloyd."

"Pardon." Regal looked at him, and then smiled weakly. "Oh, I see. Yes, very well. Thank you, Lloyd. I have no way of repaying you, save to offer my services and assistance again should you need it."

"In the near future, perhaps." Lloyd lowered his hands to the cuffs about Regal's wrists. "I think, one day you should remove those."

"I—"

"I know they are a symbol, but as long as you wear them, you'll never have fully moved on." Lloyd lifted his eyes back to Regal's. "You are the one that knew Alicia. Consider whether she would have wanted you to continue punishing yourself."

Regal frowned slightly and Lloyd shrugged, turning slightly. "It's just a thought."

"Yes. I will consider it." Regal nodded, offering his hand. "Thank you, once again, Lloyd."

Lloyd looked at the hand for a moment, then clasped it firmly, shaking it. "Not at all."

* * *

"Hmm, mana links then. Are you sure that's everything they said?" Yuan leaned back on the desk, folding his arms.

"They didn't seem to know much about it. Irritatingly enough." Lloyd sighed.

It had already been a few hours since her had stopped at the Triet Renegade Base. Both Genis and Presea had headed for Luin immediately on returning to Slyvarant, despite their offers to come with him to see Yuan. But Lloyd had declined. He wasn't in the mood of playing games and arguing that would occur if Genis were present. Lloyd knew that the two half-elves didn't get along. They tended to clash in their attempts to outsmart the other.

Besides, Lloyd knew that Raine would already be annoyed with Genis leaving so suddenly. It was better that they had returned to Luin. Though, Lloyd couldn't help but be envious of them...

"So what is your plan then?" Yuan interrupted his thoughts.

Lloyd frowned, considering. "Release the Summon Spirits and break the links. If what Volt and Undine says is true, the worlds will stop vying for mana."

Yuan nodded. "There is more however. After all, the worlds cannot remain like that. They would need a source."

"And?"

"Well, you know of the Great Seed, correct?" Yuan looked at him. "I'm sure your father has told you about it during your stud—"

"Of course I know about it. What's your point?"

"Well, the Summon Spirits contain the Great Seed. In other words, prevent it from sprouting. Should those links be broken, it's possible that the seed will be able to germinate and grow."

Lloyd frowned, his impatience to return home momentarily distracted. "Are you talking about...?"

"Exactly that." Yuan smirked. "This gives you an even greater reason to release the spirits."

Lloyd frowned. "Well...it's an uncertainty, but a possibility. But I can't theorize with you right now. I need to get home."

"Oh...yes, about that. While you were away, your father stopped by, quite frazzled too. It was amusing. I haven't seen him like that since you were—"

"Just out with it, what did he want?"

Yuan smirked and looked at him. "Apparently, a certain little bunny is-well, let's just say if I were you, I'd hurry and hop along and get—"

Lloyd barely even let him finish as he rushed out the room.

* * *

"_Lloyd! Lloyd no!"_

_ She met his gaze, wide and startled. She felt the life returning to her body, yet she cried out in pain as he vanished before her eyes, trapped within the grip of the two men. _

"_Lloyd!" she cried out, stumbling falling to her knees. _

_ She could hear the shocked exclamations from the group as their comrade vanished and she regained her humanity. _

_ Her eyes stared at the empty place where he had stood. She could still remember the fear in his eyes as they had met hers, the startled surprised expression as she screamed his name, the way he twisted in their grip to turn towards her, his hand opening towards her. _

_And then he was gone._

"_Colette! Colette, can you hear me? Colette—"_

"_W-We have to get him back! We have to get Lloyd back!" she choked. _

_She could only see the hopeless and helpless expressions of her friends. The way their eyes lingered on the empty place on the mountaintop. _

_Struggling, she pushed to her feet, stumbling over to the space, ignoring Raine's hands at her arms. She stood shaking; lifting her head towards the sky, searching, looking and knowing there was nothing to see. He was gone. He was gone because of her. _

_It was her fault. It was all her fault. She let him come on this journey and because of her they had come here and—and—_

"_L-Lloyd—" Colette choked, her hand lifting to grip the necklace over her crystal. "We'll get you back, Lloyd. I...we're going to find you."_

* * *

_"Colette, we have to go." _

_ The gentle touch on her shoulder made her half turn her head towards Raine, before glancing back at the mountaintop. _

_Nothing had changed. It felt as barren as it had that day, one year ago. The wind brushing against the empty, rock plateau. Her hair brushed against her cheek, wiping away the tears that slipped down her cheeks. Her hand gripped the necklace over her crystal, feeling every careful groove of the charm. _

_ "Colette, we tried. We cannot stay in this world any longer. With the King's death, the warrant for our death hasn't been lifted despite Sheena's attempts and we are running out of places to run—"_

_ "I know, Raine. I'm sorry. I just need..."_

_ "He's not here, Colette. We'll try again in Sylvarant, where it'll be safer." _

_ Colette nodded, but didn't move. Her eyes lifted to the empty sky, the wind playing with her hair. She didn't know where he was, what was happening to him. She didn't know anything except he was alive._

_She knew he was alive. She could feel it, deep within her. He was still there; he was still with her. He was waiting, just as she was waiting.  
_

* * *

_"He's not dead!"_

_ "Colette, it's been years—"_

_ "That doesn't matter! Lloyd isn't dead! We can't give up! We have to—we have to save—"_

_ "There is nothing left we can do." Raine's tone was flat and final. _

_ Colette could see the pale guilt on her teacher's face, but she couldn't help but feel anger boiling within her. How could they just abandon him? After everything he had done for them all! _

_ She fled the house, ignoring her father's calls. Ignoring Raine's attempts to reason. She fled from the cold logic that she refused to accept. Lloyd wasn't dead. He couldn't be dead. _

_ The rain poured, freezing cold against her hot skin as she rushed down the steps, slowing to stand in the middle of the muddy roads. The thunder rolled across the sky, rumbling as she stood shivering, staring through the rain falling upon the empty streets._

_Her face lifted slowly, staring at the gray and black clouds, blinking through the raindrops. "Give him back—give Lloyd back...Please... You were supposed to take me! Not him! Not...him..." her voice cracked and her legs gave out, falling to her knees._

_ Her head bowed, her clothes soaked as she clenched her hands, the tears washed away by the rain, the thunder drowning her choking sobs. She was alone, trapped on this world without him. He had been her rock, her comfort, her friend. When no one else had cared, he had. When no one held her hand, he took it. No one had seen her for her except for him_

'_You are you.'_

_She tilted her head back, shuddering, letting the water caress her face as she gasped for breath, her eyes opening, fluttering against the raindrops. "Lloyd... Lloyd, I'm here...I'm here waiting. I'm waiting for you...where are you...?"_

_She choked, clenching her hands, crying out. "Where are you?"_

"Lloyd!"

Colette lurched up, gasping, her cheeks damp with tears. She grimaced clutching her belly, twisting on her bed, throwing back the sheets. She struggled from the bed, standing, steadying herself against the wall as she stumbled forward. Her breaths were heavy and deep as she looked around the dark room. Alone. All alone and the images from her memory fresh and vivid before her. She wanted Lloyd. She wanted him here, with her. She needed him. Needed to know he was still here.

"Lloyd—" then stopped and stared ahead. The silence was filled with her deep breaths, outside the sound of rain pattered against the windowpane, running down the glass, dripping to the ground. She stood motionless and pale, knowing it couldn't be possible. It wasn't time. It was too early.

But even in the darkness, her wide eyes could tell the floor was wet beneath her feet.

"Lloyd..." she whispered. "Where are you?"

**Review Please!**


	43. Chapter 43

**Listening to** Till I was a Daddy Too by Tracy Lawrence. **(Though I would recommend listening to it after reading)**

**Well**,** I am finally done with University and officially on summer break. Sorry for the delay with this chapter, I was itching to write it and get it out sooner, but it unfortunately took a back seat to the last week of school and finals. I made it rather long again to make up for it. I hope I'll be able to write more often than I have, but not sure how it'll work out once I find a job. So until then, I'll try my best.  
Anyway, I know a lot of you have been waiting to know the gender of the baby and to finally get to the birth itself. I tried to keep it teen friendly, but feel free to skim it or contact me if its too much so I can alter it. I hope you all enjoy the chapter! I know I've been eager to get to this part too. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 43:**

The tension was high in the room as Kratos' eyes lingered on Colette. She had refused to lay down, one hand braced against the window frame, the other clutching her swollen mid-section. It was obvious her contractions were getting closer and closer together. Kratos had an all too clear memory of the night when Lloyd had been born, being the only one there to aid Anna through the experience.

It had terrified him.

Still he wasn't about to leave the room, regardless if Raine was there or not. He had left almost immediately after Colette informed them that he water had broke and located Yuan, in the hopes of finding Lloyd there. But fate would have it, he wasn't. Therefore, he was going to stay until he was certain Lloyd would make it...or Colette kicked him out.

"Colette, you need to lie down. The baby is coming and—" Raine attempted to urge the young woman.

"N-No." She gasped, her face twisting in pain and a strangled gasp as another contraction passed. "I...I promised I'd wait. I need to wait for Lloyd."

"Colette." Raine spoke more firmly. "The baby isn't going to wait."

Colette's head lifted slightly, her pale face illuminated by the moonlight from the window. She was scared, nervous. It wasn't her promise to Lloyd that stalled her; it was the fear of going through it alone. Kratos could still remember the same look Anna had given him when he offered to find a woman instead to help with the delivery. However, when Anna clung to his arm and gave him that look, he remained there instead.

"I'm sure he's on his way, Colette." His voice carried over the silence, drawing the women's gazes. "I left a message with Yuan. Genis and Presea have recently arrived, as well. They said they had been travelling with him. So he should be along shortly."

Hope filled Colette's eyes as she listened to his words.

"Kratos is right. Now lay on the bed, Colette, before you fall and hurt yourself and the baby." Raine pressed, taking the young woman's arm, guiding her gently, but firmly to the bed. Just as Raine started to pull the covers back, Colette stiffened then cried out in pain, falling forward against the bed as she hugged her stomach.

* * *

The sky spanned and stretched above and below him. The ocean surface, oddly calm, reflected the stars and the moon as if nothing else existed. The only sound was the air, flowing around him, the force of his wings disturbing the strange tranquillity of the night. It was disorienting against the calamities in his mind. The pounding in his temples and chest like a drum beat to his wings. Every pulse seemed to urge him faster. Nature was mocking him with its peace, uncaring about his concerns and worries. He was moving, but perception played with his mind and he felt as if he was at a standstill, unable to get ahead, unable to move forward...

_Faster!_

His mind shouted at him and he thrust his wings all the harder, his reflection nothing but a glowing blur across the ocean surface as he travelled. Already he could see the shadowy forms of the Hima Mountains. The silhouette of the Tower of Salvation loomed closer just to the right. At one time, the Tower would have meant something, a dread and suffocating hatred to pass beneath its shadow. Now it was nothing. It was nothing, but a thing, an object; nothing, but a sign that he was that much closer to Luin. That much closer to Colette.

He would make it. He promised Colette he'd be there when their baby was born. He had promised he would never leave their sides. Promised that he was going to change and stay—then why wasn't he there?

He cursed Yuan. The damn half-elf concerned only for himself, not giving a damn about the lives of others. He had stalled in giving up that information, content in allowing Lloyd to talk and discuss about—about things that didn't even matter! Nothing mattered but this!

And what if he didn't make it? What if something went wrong? How many hours had it been since Yuan had received that message? Was it already over? Was the baby already born? Was he too late—?

The Tower rushed by in a dark blur.

No. He would make it.

* * *

"Ahhh!" Colette leaned back against the pillows, gasping and struggling to focus on Raine's calm voice.

"That's good, just breathe. Kratos bring more towels."

It hurt, even though the pain was dulled by the influence of her Cruxis Crystal. She opened her eyes panting, staring up at the orange ceiling, the tones dancing as the candle flame flickered. She distantly heard Raine talking, urging her. Almost numbly, she followed her instructions, leaning forward, pushing and then once again she lay against the pillow. Sweat trickled down her face as she focused on breathing, turning her eyes to the window where the moon was beginning to vanish from sight, already sinking down behind the houses.

_Lloyd_

"Alright Colette, push. You're almost there."

* * *

He could see it. In the dim light of the coming dawn, Lloyd could see the small, lake village. The water surface was already reflecting the lighting sky, the buildings painted with rising sunlight.

The ground flew past and he was flapping downward, towards the still sleeping town. Dust rose from the cobbled streets as his wings continued to beat. They snapped out as he leveled out, twisting and gliding along the street before he lowered his legs, stumbling briefly as he tried to keep up the momentum. He rushed down the road, his wings already dissipating from his back in a trickle of mana, his boots pounding in the stone. He slowed and turned the corner and the house came into view...

* * *

"Lloyd..." Colette whispered, gasping, tears sliding down her cheeks.

Raine urged softly, her eyes glancing up at her. "Just one more push, Colette. You can do it—"

* * *

He stepped quietly up to the building, the city nearly silent. It was then he saw his father, standing in the shadows near the door, his russet eyes looking at him as he straightened.

"Lloyd..."

That's when the hoarse cry rang out, followed by a younger, louder wail.

He rushed forward, past his father. The door burst open and he stepped into the dim light. Instantly, all eyes latched onto him. Presea smiled gently, a strange flush to her cheeks and happiness in her eyes. Genis' own face twisted from a frown into a wide grin. Sheena had stopped her pacing to look at him, sighing in relief. Zelos just smirked, lounged back in the chair.

But none of that mattered. He turned from them, rushing past them to the door of the bedroom. He heard a muffled voice. His heavy boots echoed off the walls, along with the quieting cries from behind the ajar door. He reached it and it swung open with a firm push of his hand.

Candles flickered in the room, casting shadows to dance across the walls. Colette lifted her eyes, propped up by pillows. The exhaustion on her face immediately lifted with joy.

"Lloyd." She smiled. He could see tears on cheeks, glistening in the candle light

Her voice was exhausted and perhaps, at another time, he would have noticed the damp, lank bangs hanging around her face, or the dark circles beneath her eyes, stark against her pale skin. Instead, he saw only the glow. The way her eyes shimmered with happiness, the soft gentle curl of her lips as she smiled and the pale flush in her cheeks.

She was beautiful.

It was only then that he noticed the bundle in her arms. He saw a small ball of a nose and a single closed fist curled near the edge of the blanket. His eyes widen and he stiffened suddenly. He could only stare in disbelief at what Colette cradled in her arms. He didn't understand his own reaction, why he was suddenly unable to comprehend what he saw before him. He just...couldn't...

Colette smiled and he heard a small, quiet laugh from the side of the room. Startled, Lloyd turned and found Raine seated in a chair, her eyes slightly bleary with exhaustion too. She regarded Lloyd before standing, folding the towels that had lain on her lap. "So you made it."

The statement made Lloyd bristle slightly, but the guilt surged up too. He hadn't made it. He was late. Late for his own child's birth—

Raine cut off any reply he might have made with a tired smile. "I'll leave you three alone for awhile. Remember, she's tired, so let her rest."

He didn't know what to say, his tongue oddly clumsy in his mouth. As she reached the door, he finally spoke. "Thank you."

She paused, then nodded, shutting the door quietly behind her.

Lloyd didn't hesitate. Crossing the room in a couple of strides, he stopped next to the bed, kneeling down. Colette's eyes gleamed softly in the candle light, her smile gentle. He studied her for a moment, before turning his gaze upon the baby.

Dark tufts of hair poked up as Colette brushed the blanket back. The face was round and pudgy, the skin quite red still and the little mouth opened and closed as Colette brushed the cheek with her finger.

"It's a boy."

Lloyd's eyes lifted for a brief moment. "A boy..."

"Yes." She nodded, smiling as she looked down at the baby. "Leon Aurion." At his questioning look, she added. "Do you remember? I heard you whisper the name. The only name you ever suggested. Leon..."

Lloyd blinked, recalling the moment, his eyes returning down to the bundle before he rose and seated himself beside Colette. His hands shook; his palms were sweaty, but his eyes wouldn't leave the little pink face.

"Can I hold him?" He spoke quietly, almost a whisper, afraid he would startle the babe. He wanted to. He wanted to cradle his son.

His son...

Before he had much time to dwell on it, Colette had already shifted in the bed and was guiding the bundle into his arms. Lloyd's eyes widen, but he instinctively shifted his arms to conform to the small body they protected. Somehow, his body knew how to react, even before his mind did.

His eyes lowered to the small, pudgy face. The cheeks were puffed out a bit, the little mouth still moving.

Lloyd smiled.

"Leon."

* * *

He hadn't moved from his spot on the bed, sitting on the edge with his arms cradled beneath the bundle. He wasn't even aware of when Colette had finally drifted to sleep, exhausted from the ordeal.

He glanced over at her, the risen sun making her hair golden against the pillows. Her cheeks were flushed and glowing still. At least, he believed they were.

Smiling gently, he turned his gaze back down to the wriggling form in his arms. Curled legs kicked weakly against the swaddled blanket, fighting for freedom. The other hand had worked loose from the blanket, the little fingers wrinkled and tiny, clasped tightly into little fists that waved back and forth.

"You were early," Lloyd whispered softly, gently rocking his arms slightly. His son paused, his head shifting slightly towards him as if listening to him. Though, Lloyd knew it was just from the vibrations of his voice within his chest...

Lloyd smiled weakly; shifting his arms, he moved his hand to gently took his son's. Leon's...

He doubted that those tiny fingers could even wrap around his own. He could hardly believe anything could be so small. So light...though he was sure Colette would disagree after nine months of carrying him.

"I tried to get here on time. I almost made it. I heard you cry from outside...I suppose that could count." Lloyd took a breath, pausing. "You were...just too early."

Then he laughed. "Listen to me, blaming you for being born. No. You were ready. I was the one who was late. But I'm here now...I'm here now, Leon, and I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm not sure exactly, what I am supposed to do. I never really thought to prepare." He frowned, looking down at his son, brushing his thumb over the tiny hand. "But I'll learn. I'll learn to do everything I need to in order to make you happy."

"Of course, you'll need to learn how to fight. But I suppose that won't be for a few years at least. Crawling and walking would be essential to learn first." He tilted his head, scanning his boy, smiling softly. "Leon...I'm surprised she recalled the name. That she decided to give it to you. She had lots of names picked out. It hardly seems fair that she..." he trailed off, glancing back at his wife.

She had chosen Leon because he had voiced it. The only name he had offered. He wondered if she had always intended to call their child that name, since that day. He would have to ask her.

He looked back down, swallowing back the tightness in his throat, clearing it softly. "I don't deserve her, you know? I don't deserve you either. But I am selfish and I'm not letting you go. I don't think I could. I've been so...so afraid." His voice caught for a moment and he swallowed again. "I've been afraid for a long time. Of myself, of my past...of losing everything again...And now I'm terrified of losing you. Of losing your mother." His eyes closed leaning forward, his mouth gently resting against his son's head, his body quivering as he struggled to control himself.

"I'm terrified of failing you, Leon. But I won't. I promise, I won't fail you. I won't let you down or desert you. I refuse to let anything stand between us." He felt the baby wriggle in his arms and he choked, chuckling weakly. "How ridiculous, you are barely a few hours old and already I am smothering you." Yet he didn't pull back. He couldn't. Even with his eyes closed, he could feel the tears flowing down his cheeks, dripping on the blanket.

"I will let you yell at me. I will let you hate me if that's what it takes to protect you—"

That's when he felt her arms wrap around him, embracing him gently. "He'll never hate you."

Lloyd took a shuddering breath, turning his face towards her, feeling her lips on his cheek, kissing his tears. "You don't know that."

"Yes I do." Colette smiled, leaning her head against his, holding him tightly. "You're his father and no matter what you do, even if it seems like he hates you, he doesn't really. Right? Just like you and Kratos, right? And Kate. She still loved her father, even after everything he had done to her. But we both know you will never do that to Leon. That's just who you are Lloyd. You're a Daddy."

A Daddy.

Lloyd twisted and found her lips, closing his eyes as she responded to his kiss. Taking a deep breath as they parted, he leaned his forehead against hers. "I love you, Colette."

"I know you do. And I love you. And Leon loves you. He hasn't even cried since you've held him." She peeked down at him wriggling in Lloyd's arms.

Lloyd looked down too, taking in the squirming bundle cradled in his one arm. Yes, he was a father. He wasn't sure exactly what sort of father he would be yet, brash and blunt, yet kind like Dirk, or aloof and watchful like Kratos. Or maybe he'd be neither, or both. Maybe he'd be something else entirely, or incorporate everything he had learned growing up with the two. He didn't know yet. What he did know...he was going to be the best Dad he could. He would give Leon everything he had and hold nothing back. This was his life now, his family and he would protect it. Because that's what he had to do...

Because he was a daddy.

* * *

"He's adorable."

Zelos watched Sheena coo at the new little Aurion. Drooling little runt. Still, he had to admit, all that dark fluffy hair did make the kid look kind of cute.

"Sheena, be careful. Don't hold him too tightly." Presea spoke up, fidgeting next to the older girl.

"I'm not. I don't want to drop him. Aw! Look, he's yawning!" she exclaimed.

Zelos watched Presea peering over Sheena's shoulder, her face brightening a bit, as they hovered around the little brat. How was it this kid, barely a few hours old was already gaining more attention from his own woman, than he had in months? All the kid had to do was yawn and Sheena was flipping out on how cute he was.

"Are you sulking, Zelos?" Genis prodded him, smirking.

"Jealous? Of that little butterball? Hardly. Why would I be jealous of a baby?" Zelos scoffed.

"I don't know. You are scowling and looking in that direction, so you tell me?"

"Shove it, Brat. I just don't see what the big deal is. It's just a baby; there are hundreds of babies everywhere. What's so special about this one—?"

"Oh my—Zelos come here! Come see him! He's yawning again—Aw you missed it, never mind..."

Zelos rolled his eyes, only to find himself looking at a grinning Genis. "You are sooo jealous."

"If anything, that kid should be jealous of me."

"If that happens, I'm afraid I'll have failed at parenting then." Lloyd interjected quietly, stepping up beside them.

Genis laughed and Zelos even smirked, looking at him. "Yeah, well I suppose that would be a concern, wouldn't it?"

"Only because the world can only handle one of you, Zelos." Lloyd glanced at him, then over at the women. Colette was sitting in the rocking chair, keeping a watchful, nervous eye on her friends as they fawned over the baby.

"Yeah, I suppose that's true."

"Sheena, I think he wants to move." Presea spoke up again, her face flushed and her expression oddly frustrated. "Perhaps, someone...else should hold him?"

"What? He's fine, he's just active. Like his Dad, right Colette? Lloyd was always on the move wasn't he?"

"Um...well yes, I suppose..."

"But, Sheena..." Presea attempted again.

"I've got him, Presea, it's alright. If he starts to cry, I'll pass him to Colette."

"Oh, alright..."

Lloyd chuckled a bit. "Excuse me." Walking over to them, he stopped before Sheena. "Perhaps, Presea would like a turn holding him? I'm sure Colette would enjoy a cup of Mizuho style tea, Sheena. I've lost my touch in the kitchen after all..."

Zelos watched as he smoothly slipped Leon from Sheena, who looked undecided and gently placed him in Presea's arms. The young girl's face was immediately flushing up, her eyes wide as she shifted her arms to support the baby's weight evenly. "Are-Are you sure, Lloyd?"

"Of course." Lloyd smiled a bit, walking over to Colette, giving her a kiss. Their voices lowered as they smiled and laughed.

Sheena stood awkwardly for a moment, before huffing and hurrying to the kitchen to put the water on to boil.

"I guess Sheena really likes kids, huh?" Genis glanced up at Zelos, who frowned. "When you guys get married are you going to—?"

"Genis, come over and see Leon." Presea called, her eyes not dare leaving the baby.

Hesitating, Genis glanced at Zelos then hurried over. "What? What is he doing?"

"He's sleeping. He looks cute, right?"

"Um...yeah, of course, I just thought he was doing something or..."

"I told you, he is sleeping."

Zelos sighed and shook his head, baffled at all the hype over a little baby. He glanced over at Sheena as she started making the tea, her attention always darting back over to where Presea held Leon.

Was she really expecting to have kids with him one day? Could he have kids? They had talked about it once before, right after Colette was pregnant, but it seemed more prominent now with the baby actually here.

In his opinion, babies caused problems, they were distractions and it was a lifelong commitment. Did she actually think he'd make a decent father? It wasn't as if he had one of his own to look up to. Though, he wasn't sure if that gave him an advantage, or simply pointed out the inevitable fail he'd have, should he attempt to fit the role.

There was very little he knew, or cared for about kids. They were smelly, always wet, sticky and loud. Of course, he knew that they weren't all the time, but it had to be a large majority of it. Yet, he couldn't ever voice these problems aloud to Sheena. At least, not yet. If anything, either she'd scoff at him, or it'd just end up in another fight.

She was envious of Colette; it was obvious with the way she held the kid, cooing at him as if he actually understood what she was saying. It was a softer side of her that she rarely showed, one that he would normally watch from a distance and smile while she believed she was alone. He liked that side of her, just as much as he liked the fire...

"He's so cute, isn't he?"

He hadn't even notice her slip up beside him, handing him a mug of tea. He had to shift his hand quickly to the handle, grimacing at the heat from the glass. "I guess."

She gave him that look, the reprimanding scowl when he said something she didn't like. "Stop being so sulky, just because he has all the attention. He's a baby—"

"Exactly. So why are you so focused on him?" Zelos counted smoothly, glancing at her. "Not like he can even tell the difference."

Sheena frowned, "What's gotten into you? Ever since Colette came out with Leon today, you've avoided him. Aren't you happy for them? Don't you want to meet him?"

"I don't do well with kids. I told you that before" he said, lowering his eyes as he sipped his tea.

She didn't respond right away and he mentally cursed himself for being so blunt. He was just so sick of everyone grinning and smiling. Didn't they remember they were in the middle of a war? Well that might be exaggerating it, but they weren't exactly safe. Just a couple days ago, Lloyd was being all heroic again at Volt's temple and making plans. Now he was just sitting around, smiling like a moron. Babies were so distracting...

"Is it because you are afraid they'll be taken?" Sheena interrupted, glancing at him.

"What?"

"Your kids, if you ever had any. Are you afraid the church would try to have them raised as the next Chosen? Is that it?"

He met her gaze for a moment, but it was enough for her to try to take his hand. She was already trying to respond, but he smoothly cut her off. "Better go get another look at the kid before Colette takes him back for a nap. I'm stepping out for some air."

Her hand slipped from his arm as he gave her cheek a quick kiss and turned from her, striding towards the door. He knew she'd bring it up again later and maybe he'd answer her then. But for now, he didn't want to talk about it...

Even as he stepped out onto the step, taking another sip of tea, he heard a pair of muffled voices from around the corner. He frowned, his free hand settling on his sword hilt and he edged to the corner of the building, casting a quick glance around it.

"I can't believe you actually withheld the news from him. He's not going to be happy with you—"

"We both know he'll be so distracted with the kid now that it won't even cross his mind. Besides, he made it didn't he?"

Raine sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Barely. It really upset Colette though. I was worried she'd harm herself and the baby. You really need to be more considerate, you know that?"

The low chuckle rose and fell quickly as Yuan leaned back against the building next to her. "And you don't think what I'm trying to do compensates for that?"

"Not in the least."

"Well I'm here aren't I? No personal agenda, no threats, bad news or missions. Just a friend coming to congratulate another—"

"But you won't go in. You are slinking around out here by the windows."

"Well he did say to stay away from his family." Yuan shrugged. "Besides, I got your attention, didn't I?"

"And what are you implying?" Raine scowled.

"What are you making of it?" Yuan smirked.

She rolled her eyes, turning her gaze away, rubbing her face again with a tired sigh. "Do you have any news, regarding Yggdrasill? Is he suspicious yet?"

"He was always suspicious." Yuan paused. "His last orders were for Lloyd to kill your little group. How do you think he'll react when neither Lloyd nor Kratos show up on Derris Kharlan in the next few days?"

"Kratos has left as well? I thought it was just Lloyd—"

"Kratos isn't stupid enough to remain where he can be used as bait to force Lloyd back to Derris Kharlan. When Lloyd made the decision to leave, Kratos followed him. Kratos has been waiting eight years for Lloyd to make that decision," Yuan sighed, folding his arms.

"And it's not one you can make. Is it?" Raine asked quieter.

"Not unless you want to lose your informant and spy. Besides, at this point Yggdrasill may trust me more, since this is Kratos' second betrayal."

"Or he could become suspicious of you. Don't do anything stupid." Raine frowned, warningly.

"Is that concern?"

"As you said, you are our informant. We'll be blind if you leave Cruxis, or are discovered."

Yuan chuckled quietly.

After a moment of silence, Rains spoke up. "So you aren't going in to see the baby?"

"I'd be an unwanted guest. I'm sure I'll come across him in the near future. Let him have his solace. He deserves it."

"As do so many," Raine nodded.

Zelos closed his eyes, and pulled back from the corner, smirking bitterly. Yeah, kids were a distraction. They brought a mess load of problems with them and just added more concerns and worries for people than they had before.

Sipping his tea he leaned against the building smirking as his eyes closed. He supposed that is why they had to be cute.

* * *

The house had quieted down. After being passed back and forth between Presea and Sheena for a few hours, Leon finally let them know he had had enough. It had unnerved Lloyd to hear him wail like that and took everything he had not to rush at the two girls and pull him away. However, even as he considered how to do so, Colette was rising from her chair and slipping in with a smile.

"He's just tired and probably hungry. I'll take him now."

The women were disappointed, but didn't protest. If anything, Sheena looked slightly flustered, holding the crying baby and quickly shifted Leon to Colette's arms.

They had left the others, disappearing into the bedroom and Lloyd had followed shortly after. To his relief, Leon had calmed down, the baby nuzzling his mother's chest fussily as she seated herself in another rocker Lloyd had fashioned recently.

He remained silent as Colette draped a blanket around her shoulder and Leon, her free hand manoeuvring beneath it. His face heated up a bit as he glanced aside, moving around the room to tidy it.

It wasn't long before he heard the noisy little sucking sounds and he glanced over, the blanket hiding the baby beneath.

"He sounds hungry." Lloyd murmured, setting the folded blanket on the bed, walking back over towards Colette.

"Yes, he does." She smiled lightly, leaning her head back on the little pillowed headrest, gently rocking the chair with her feet. "Do you think he'll be spoiled?"

Lloyd chuckled, kneeling next to the chair and kissing just below her ear. "Undoubtedly."

She smiled weakly then frowned looking down at their son, tugging the blanket more around him. "I hope it doesn't affect him too much. I mean... I just..."

"He won't be arrogant or selfish." He smiled, his hand reaching up, brushing back her hair. "He has you for his mother after all. It's you he'll look up to most, who will teach him to be humble."

Her cheeks blushed a bit. "He has that for you too."

Lloyd didn't respond, instead pushing to his feet. "It sounds like Raine is kicking everyone out to the inn." He glanced at the door. "I'll go show them out. I'll be back in a moment."

He was grateful, that they had left. He had retired back to the room with Colette, talking quietly as the baby nursed and then slept. It was difficult for Lloyd to take his eyes off the little bundle, listening to Colette quietly discuss whose nose Leon had and wondering what color his eyes would turn. And even after her words trailed off, just the quiet rock of the chair against the floor as they watched their son sleep.

"It's getting late; we should probably put him in his crib." Colette whispered, as if afraid her voice would wake Leon.

Lloyd nodded, stiffly rising from his seat that he had pulled over. He reached over, helping Colette up from the chair when he noticed the quiet footsteps outside their door.

Glancing up Lloyd noticed his father, coming to a stop in the doorframe.

"Is everything well then?"

Lloyd smiled weakly nodding, his one arm loosely around Colette's back. "Yes, he's sleeping now, with a full belly."

Kratos nodded slowly, his eyes moving slightly. He stood stiffly, his dark russet eyes on the baby in Colette's arms. Lloyd could see the pain on his father's face, the guilt. Even as he struggled to hide it, Lloyd could tell Kratos was most likely reliving the past. It felt strange and awkward to think of it like this, Leon was Lloyd in Kratos' eyes at that moment.

The fear was there. The fear that he shouldn't be allowed to come near. To have that chance again. He was a grandfather, but Lloyd knew that Kratos was still trapped in the past.

"Kratos..."

Lloyd glanced at his wife, her warm tired smile glowing, breaking past the tense shadows of the past. "Kratos, come here. Come see your grandson."

For a moment, nothing moved. Lloyd could see the indecision in his father's eyes, but Lloyd slowly smiled as Colette continued to urge him, drawing the elder man closer.

He came next to them, but stood uncertainly, gazing down at the bundle as Colette gently pushed down the blanket, revealing the small face and dark hair.

Lloyd could hear his breath quicken and smiled when his father's hand twitched, swallowing nervously.

"Dad? Are you alright?" Lloyd spoke softly.

"He looks like you did." His deep voice was barely a whisper, his large hand lifting to cup and caress the soft, tiny head of his grandson. "Leon..."

Lloyd smiled, knowing that even though that Leon was only Kratos grandson, Leon would have a shadow of a second father. Lloyd didn't grudge Kratos that. He still believed two fathers were better than one. Leon deserved to have that... he deserved the best...

"Would you like to hold him?" Colette smiled.

"No—I mean...not right now. Let him sleep. He's had a long day." For the first time, in a long time, Lloyd heard his father stumble over his words. It brought a smile to his face as he watched Colette take the baby to the crib, gently lowering him.

"He really does look like you," Kratos spoke softly, his words barely audible.

Lloyd smiled weakly, glancing at him, "Come on, Dad. I'll set up the couch for you tonight. That way you can see him in the morning, before the others come back."

Kratos hesitated, turning to look at him, nodding. "I'd like that."

**Please Review!**


	44. Chapter 44

**Listening to **This Ain't No Love Song by Trace Adkins and On My List by Toby Keith. **Thanks to Freaky for the recommendations of those songs. They are perfect for the mood of this chapter.  
Anyway, sorry it's been awhile. Between working and horrible blue screen problems on my laptop, I just have not been in the mood to write. But since I'm on a day off, I figured I better get a chapter written and up. Sorry for the wait, thanks for your patience, reading and reviews. Always appreciated. Hope you enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 44:**

Two little dark eyes blinked, staring up at him unfocused. Of course, he knew the infant couldn't see him—possibly his shadow—yet it still seemed as if he was meeting his eyes.

It had been years since Kratos had held a baby, yet unlike that first night when he had held Lloyd, cradling Leon had been almost instinctual. He was nervous of course, but he wasn't as tense as Lloyd had been. This was something Kratos had done before and even though he felt reluctance as the little bundle was passed to him, his arms had moved accordingly to accept Leon.

Of course, he couldn't keep his throat from tightening as he looked down at the little bundle.

It seemed not that long ago, that he was holding Lloyd like this, while Anna slept in the next room. He had always been given the night duties, not that he had minded. It was always peaceful and once Lloyd had stopped fussing and calmed down, his little eyes half shut and a thumb in his mouth, suckling noisily, Kratos could only wonder why he had been so terrified in the beginning.

"Here. Made some coffee," Lloyd said, setting the cup before Kratos, taking a seat himself. He sipped his own quietly. "He sure calmed down quick."

"Yes." Kratos nodded. "I think he'll be a quiet one."

Lloyd smiled weakly, taking another sip. Kratos could see the exhaustion on his son's face. He knew it was more mental than physical, but he hoped Lloyd would try and get some rest soon.

"Was I a quiet one?"

"No."

Lloyd made a face, but then smirked. "I suppose I could have guessed that."

"You liked to fuss. You never wanted to be put down, which exasperated your mother often. Though, I think she did enjoy it, despite her complaints. She spoiled you."

"Oh..." Lloyd hesitated, turning his mug slowly with his hands, watching his son clasp at the air with his little hand. "I wish she could have been here."

Kratos kept silent, his gaze on Leon. He had lost count of how many times he had longed for Anna to be around. More so after he had found Lloyd at Iselia. Even more so when he had struggled to care for him on Derris Kharlan. He had missed Anna dearly. He always wondered how she would have done things differently, what choices she would have made.

"She would have spoiled Leon as well." Kratos finally spoke, softly. "I doubt any of us would have been allowed to hold him if she were here."

Lloyd smiled weakly. "I'm sure Leon wouldn't have minded at all. I think he likes the attention too."

Kratos nodded, yet didn't miss the way his smile never reached Lloyd's eyes. His mind was elsewhere, undoubtedly on his mother. For a moment, Kratos cursed his carelessness. He shouldn't have mentioned Anna. It was uprooting all the tension and regrets that had been long buried.

"She would be proud of you."

Lloyd lifted his gaze to meet his father's. This time the smile managed to reach his eyes, barely, but it did. Kratos followed his son's gaze as he looked down to the exsphere upon his hand, this thumb brushing over the gem.

"I hope so. I'm trying. I'm trying to set things right now. I've been a fool." He smirked weakly. "We both have. She must be exasperated with us."

Kratos chuckled lightly, nodding and taking a sip from his coffee. He knew Lloyd was right. Anna would be exasperated with the both of them. Even when Lloyd was little, she would always release a frustrated huff whenever she found either of them making some kind of trouble.

They sat quietly after that. Leon's eyes had fluttered shut and his pinched mouth between plump cheeks suckled at the air. Lloyd's attention was outside the window, but Kratos knew his thoughts were elsewhere. Just as his own were. It was often like this when they spoke of Anna.

The silence only broke once the bedroom door opened and Colette's soft footsteps carried her out into the main room. Lloyd's head swiveled and he smiled warmly, rising from his chair to greet her with a kiss on her cheek.

The action sparked the buried envy within Kratos, but he stifled it once again, instead looking at his grandson. His time for love and romance was over. He had had his chance, his moments and despite it being cruelly short, he was happy to have had what he could with Anna. He needed to stop dwelling on the past as he had been for so long. Lloyd was showing him once again, the importance of moving forward, grasping life for what it was, there and now. And he would. And he'd start with his grandson.

* * *

"A little higher and...um...to the left."

"There?"

"Maybe a bit down...Sorry..."

Lloyd sighed, nearly laughing as he patiently lowered the shelf. "How is that?"

"Perfect!" Colette's face beamed as she steadied the one side for him. "It's going to look so cute when it's finished. Don't you think, Lloyd?"

Lloyd smiled around the nail in his mouth as he steadied his side, then swiftly hammering them in. "Yes, I do. I can take that now."

Colette smiled, stepping back, turning her attention to the rest of the room. Since after breakfast, Colette had pleaded with Lloyd to help her decorate the baby room. Much to his irritation, Kratos talked through a smile, encouraging the idea, siding with Colette.

"I think that's a great idea. It is better to get it down immediately, rather than later. In fact it should have been done before hand."

This revelation had sent Colette into a dither and she practically dragged Lloyd into the room, leaving Kratos would once more take the responsibility of watching Leon.

Lloyd was sure Kratos was devastated.

The house didn't have a baby room, unfortunately. But by installing two long curtains in the upper corner of their room, near the window, Lloyd managed to create the illusion of a small bedroom. The crib was already nestled in the corner, momentarily set aside while the shelves were being set up above it. Directly above the crib, Lloyd had inserted a hook into the ceiling fastening it firmly, giving it a gentle tug.

"Would you be able to make a small shelf here? For the diapers and cloths, and the pins of course and powders and- oh, over there could you make another shelf for his books and toys?"

Lloyd sighed again, but still with a smile as started on her assignments. The shelf wasn't difficult to create. After a quick word with Pietro, Lloyd located the cities lumberyard and acquired fresh planks and boards to suit Colette's desires. With her help, he quickly fashioned a multi layered, open-ended shelf, remaining silent as she prattled away with her ideas.

"I think we'll paint it white, like the crib, with a bit of blue trim. That'll be nice. It'll match then. Do we still have some of that blue left from the crib?"

"I think so."

He loved the way that simple thing made her face light up. He cheeks would brighten to a pale pink and her eyes would almost sparkle. Her hair was messily pulled up into a half bun, loose strands spilling out around her face. She had donned her tunic and slacks, but had forgotten her socks in her hurry to dress.

"What are you staring at?" the blue eyes blinked, her head tilting to the side curiously.

Lloyd swiftly lowered his eyes, smirking. He knew a single compliment would turn the pink to a bright red, but instead he simply stood, asking, "Where did you want that other shelf?"

"Oh! Yes! Over here!"

And she was already springing to the wall, measuring her hands apart as if to demonstrate exactly how her imaginative mind saw it.

"Lloyd..."

He stretched back, straightening as he looked at her. It had been a few hours, and they were just putting the finishing touches of paint on the shelf. She had a white streak across her cheek and a blue one above her left eyebrow.

"Yes?"

She hesitated, biting her lip as she ran the brush of blue once more down the edge. "Do you think...we could get my father to come here? And Dirk of course."

Lloyd turned his eyes to the brush in his hand, twirling it slowly. "I don't see why not. Though, do you really want them to come so soon? It has only been a day after all."

She smiled and suddenly, Lloyd noticed how tired she really looked. Under her eyes the skin had darkened, her breaths were slightly heavy, and he even thought he could see her sway as she kneeled there. He frowned, shuffling over to her, setting the brush down. Gently taking her shoulders, he looked at her with concern. "You need to rest. I shouldn't have let you work."

"Lloyd, I'm alright. Really," she smiled, lifting the brush dabbing his nose with a laugh.

Snuffling a bit, Lloyd frowned, rubbing at the wet paint with slight irritation. "Colette, don't be foolish. Raine said you shouldn't do anything strenuous for a few days. I was careless and allowed for you to tire yourself out. Why don't you lie down on the bed—?"

"Will you lie with me?"

The tilt of her head and the wideness of her eyes made Lloyd hesitate, then sigh with a small smile. "Alright. If it gets you to rest, I will."

She let him help her up, clinging to his hand happily. It was times like this it almost seemed like time hadn't moved on. She was still the bubbly, warm young girl he knew...

The bed creaked a bit as they settled on it. He had to shift his arm as she snuggled up against his side, her head resting against his chest. He leaned against the headboard, ignoring the discomforting pressure her position put him in. The board was hard against his back, his spine resting against it the wrong way. His arm fell awkwardly around her, his shoulder twisted back a bit too far.

Closing his eyes contentedly, he lowered his head, kissing the top of her head. "I love you."

He knew she smiled, wriggling once more to get more comfortable, once more adding to his own discomfort. Her hand rested near her head, her fingers gently rubbing his chest. "I love you too, Lloyd."

It was so easy to say now. Sometimes the words slipped from his lips, natural and right. He merely had to think about her for the words to spring to his tongue, ready to spill out should he open his mouth. He nearly feared, that perhaps he was over using it. Yet, at the same time, it didn't seem possible. He did love her. The way she smiled so easily, her golden hair, the sound of her laugh, those blue eyes, the warmth of her against him...

"I wish it could stay like this."

He opened his eyes, looking over her head. Her words latched onto him, drawing him down into the peace she had suddenly found. Why couldn't it stay like this? Why couldn't he simply forget Cruxis and Yggdrasill? Why should he have to worry about the pacts and mana links? What did it have to do with him? Was he not a victim enough? Didn't he deserve to break away from that chaos—?

It was something he had chosen for himself. Perhaps not this path. But it had started from the moment he had made that choice, that choice to defy Remiel and kill him. To stand up to Cruxis and take Colette back. To stand in the face of authority and shout 'No!'

He had chosen to do this. So, it was up to him to finish it...

"You are thinking again." Her voice was quiet, muffled by near sleep. He knew if he didn't respond she would drift away into dreams. "Lloyd, tell me what you are thinking? Please?"

He closed his eyes, kissing her hair again, laying his cheek upon her head. "You need to sleep."

He felt her face press against his neck a bit, snuggling closer and her shifted his own position, ignoring the dull ache in his shoulder.

"Tell me." Her voice even fainter. He stroke her arm with his thumb, slowly, feeling her breathing grow deeper and slower. Feeling the full weight of her against his chest as her body relaxed. He knew exactly when she fell asleep.

Gently, he kissed her head again, leaning his head back against the headboard with a tired sigh. His eyes gazed over to the partially constructed nursery, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he imagined the finished product.

He suddenly had the urge to rise and go to his son. To steal him back from Kratos, who was no doubt spoiling him. He should be spending as much time as he could with him. But, just as strongly, his other half could only look at Colette's sleeping form, and any inclination to stir her, left him. Leon, despite Lloyd's heavy reluctance to admit, would be fine for a while longer. Lloyd firmly believed that should he hear even the slightest wail, he'd rush to his son's side. For now, though, Lloyd was content to lay next to his wife, hold her close in his arms and pretend that for the rest of the day, and the day after, and the day after that would all be the same. As he closed his eyes slowly, Lloyd could only hope that each day would bring the same tranquility and peace as he felt right now.

For now, Lloyd felt as if he could finally sleep.

* * *

"Please?"

"No."

She huffed, irritated as he didn't even seem to notice her pouting across the room. Since yesterday, Zelos had been acting oddly detached and bitter. Sheena was nearly certain it was because of all the attention Leon was getting.

"I don't understand why you are so jealous of him. He's a baby. Why can't you just man up and accept that he's cuter and therefore deserves more attention than you."

It was a small jab, not even close to some of the harsher ones she had dwelt him. But that short glance from the corner of his eye made her frown and sit back. He wasn't sulking. He was mad about something. He rarely ever got this way, but when he did, Sheena never knew how to handle the situation. He was cold, bitter and above all else, a complete stranger.

She sighed, rising from her seat, brushing her loose hair back from her face as she walked over to him. "Zelos, what's wrong? I hate it when you are like this. Why don't you just talk to me?"

"Go see him if you want to. I don't see why you have to drag me along with you—"

He stopped suddenly, glancing at her. She stood over him, frowning arms crossed. He gave a wiry smile, twisting slightly in his seat by the window to half face her. "You should wear your hair down more often."

She flinched, despite her resolve not to, fighting the heat rising to her cheeks. "Don't change the subject, Zelos."

He shrugged, twisting his head back to look back out the window, his hair falling loosely back over his shoulder. "Do you regret it?"

She paused, frowning. "Regret what?"

"It's obvious, isn't it? You want kids. Lots of them probably. With those hips of yours and that rack, I have no doubt it'd be possible." That crooked smile returned to his lips, but it only seemed to twist his face. "So do you regret it?"

"I don't understand—"

"Being with me."

It was obvious then, what this was about. She hesitated, licking her lip slowly. "What makes you think that I'm with—?"

He was fast. She stepped back as he stood, the chair he sat on toppling to the floor as he looked down at her. "Stop playing games, Sheena. You're fooling no one but yourself."

She burned with embarrassment, but stood her ground, squaring her shoulders. He was trying to intimidate her. It wouldn't work. Not really...

"Well, what you said makes sense. It would be foolish to have kids right now. You said so yourself. It's too dangerous and—"

He laughed, cutting her off, brushing past her as he leaned against the sofa's armrest. "You really can be naive, can't you?"

She hadn't moved, but she slowly turned her head to look back at him, uncertain suddenly. She really did hate it when he was like this. "Then explain it to me."

He scoffed, looking aside and folding his arms. "You were never good with subtleties, were you, Babe?"

She didn't respond, knowing now he was just toying with her. In the past, she would have exploded angrily, her frustration getting the better of her. But now, at twenty-seven, she liked to believe she had matured past that point. At least somewhat...

"I don't want kids, Sheena."

His words slammed into her and she finally turned to look at him fully. His usually light-hearted eyes seemed darker somehow. Harder. He was being blunt with her. Just as she asked. So why did she have to catch her breath?

"Why?"

He seemed to scan her, then turn his attention away entirely. She waited, struggling not to show how his confession struck her. What did that mean then? If he didn't want children? Could she sacrifice that to stay with him? Would she be happy staying with him and childless? She had never given it much thought. She hadn't even really contemplated the fact that he would be her children's father. She had simply taken everything at face value. She wanted to have children and she wanted to be with him. Why was it she never put two and two together?

"Do I need a reason?"

Snapping back, she blinked, staring at him. "Need- Need a reason? Of course you need a reason! Why wouldn't you want to have kids—?"

"Why would I?"

His tone had yet to change. It was still as flat, cold and, hard as ever. It was frustrating her, but at the same time, enraging her. How could he act so indifferent?

"W-what do you mean? Look at Lloyd and Colette. Do you not see how happy they are? It connects people, Zelos. It connects couples, like... like nothing else could. Having a kid to raise, to teach and...and love. Why wouldn't you want that?"

"How long will it last?" He straightened, closing his eyes. "How long until but Colette and Lloyd realize how stupid and selfish they are to have had a kid right now? How long until they realize how much danger that kid is going to be in?"

"Danger? He... Lloyd and Kratos would never let anything happen to Leon! Nor would any of us!" Sheena frowned stepping forward. "You think I would let Cruxis or anyone else lay a finger on that boy. He-They are like family now, Zelos."

He merely continued to stare at her, unflinching. Her fists clenched in anger.

"I think you are just jealous. That's all you are. You are jealous of Lloyd, Colette and, Leon. They have something you don't. They are a family. So why can't you just let it happen, Zelos? Why can't you just love me like I love you!"

He twitched, his eyes widening slightly for a moment. She gasped for breath, feeling flushed and heated. She hadn't meant to say it. It had slipped out. Was it never that between them? Had she been delusional this entire time?

She stepped back only to find him gripping her arms tightly, holding her in place. She hadn't even notice him stand. She hadn't even seen him move. He gripped her arms firmly, but he wasn't hurting her. She had never noticed how tall he was until now, his shadow flooding out the light as he looked down at her.

"You shouldn't love me." His was low, nearly husky.

She swallowed, the action deafening in her own ears. She saw him smile, his grip loosening and about to turn away.

"Zelos—" she grabbed his arm, but he jerked it free.

Startled for only a moment, she scowled, grabbing his arm, and swinging her leg into the back of his knees. With a rough jerk on his arm, she swung him around and pinned him on his back on the couch, partially straddling him. Her knee was on his stomach, holding him down, her hand still holding his arm above his head, her other hand grasping the front of his shirt.

He looked up at her with mild surprise, before he chuckled. She scowled down at him, but he only seemed to laugh more, until finally, she couldn't help but giggle weakly between her heavy breaths.

"You're an asshole, you know that?" she finally spoke, as their laughter died down. "I tell you that I love you and that's all you can say?"

"It's the truth. You shouldn't love me." He smiled as he said it.

She frowned, searching his face, speaking quietly, "Someone has to."

He cocked his head slightly, but keeping silent. His amused expression made her scowl again, but she quickly lowered her mouth to his, embracing the warmth of his mouth. He wasn't reluctant to respond and she felt that familiar thrill of sharing a kiss with him. It was never something she would admit, not right now at least, but he was a great kisser.

She pulled back and shifted her position, lowering her leg to the floor as she lay upon his chest, sliding her hands beneath him in a hug. "Why don't you want kids, Zelos?"

A part of her believed that he did want them. The way he seemed to accuse Lloyd and Colette, rather than Leon, blaming the parents instead of the child...if that was his only reason...

"I wouldn't want them to turn out like me."

She nearly respond. Her mouth opened, but his own arms encircled her, pulling her against him in an awkward hug. She closed her mouth, allowing him to keep his reasons for then. He didn't want to talk about it and she wouldn't make him. At least not now. But there was one thing she did want to know...

"Do you love me, Zelos?"

He rubbed her back, pulling her even closer with a weak chuckle. "Yeah, Babe... I do."

She kissed him again.

**Review Please.**


	45. Chapter 45

**Listening to **Little Wonders by Rob Thomas. **Is it strange I can picture Lloyd actually singing this. Haha. Anyway, I owe you all another apology. My laptop has been plagued with blue screens for over the past few months and now they happen way too often to do anything on it. Unfortunately my old laptop wouldn't take my fanfiction files from my new one. very irritating since I was practically done this chapter. Anyway, here it is. Thank you everyone for reading, reviewing and putting up with the long waits. Always appreciated! Enjoy. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 45:**

"So where do you purpose I start?"

"Well, logically, I would attempt Celsius first. Flanoir is the location of my other base. It'd be simple enough—"

"No, I don't want to leave Sylvarant. In case you have forgotten, my son was just born a month ago." Lloyd frowned.

"Yes, well, regardless of where you go, you are leaving her in Luin. Whether you are here or in Tethe'alla makes little difference." Yuan eyed him.

"I'm not leaving Sylvarant." Lloyd replied, ignoring the amused look on the half-elf's face. His eyes roamed the map and the markers indicating the seals. He tapped his finger. "Here, Asgard. It's close enough, we can be there and back in less than a day. We'll need more rheairds—"

"And what makes you think I'll be lending you anymore? After your friends came and helped themselves and then destroyed one, not to mention, I had to send men out to Tethe'alla and recover the craft, you think I'll give you more?"

Lloyd straightened, eyeing him. "Yes, I do. Now, I still have the one you gave me, so I'll need at least three more."

"What for? All you really need is one for you, which you don't really need, and one for the Summoner."

"Some of the others desire to come along." Lloyd answered flatly. "Now, I'd like accompanying wingpacks for each, as well. In case we all have to go our separate ways."

"You make it as if I'm running a charity here." Yuan scowled. "It's not like I have unlimited resources for you to just—"

Lloyd slammed his hand on the desk, his eyes narrowing at the shorter half-elf. "Let's be blunt, Yuan. I've been doing your dirty work for years, and even now, we both know you are benefitting from this. I won't deny you play a dangerous game of a double-agent. And you are still our ears in Cruxis, but I'll make this clear. If you want to bring Yggdrasill down, you have to make a few sacrifices. Whether or not you give me the rheairds or the wingpacks will decided how fast and efficiently we can end this foolish cycle that _you_ helped create."

Yuan frowned, casting his gaze aside as he stood from his chair. "Fine. Take whatever you need. I suppose it is due to you."

Lloyd couldn't ignore the bitterness lacing the words. He watched Yuan, the half-elf's back to him as he gazed up at the faded portrait on the wall. "Do not make this about owing one another. Are we not working together on this—?"

"Are we, Lloyd?" Yuan frowned. "If I recall, I'm nothing but a threat. I suppose you are wise to be wary of me, but you would think that after those years I spent drilling math and science into your brain and doing my part to keep you sane on that god-forsaken rock, you would be able to trust me more than you do."

"You want to kill my father." Lloyd countered quickly. "You think I'd let my guard down despite knowing that? I'm not a fool, Yuan."

"Do you really think you can afford living in that fantasy?" Kratos will have to die if you want Yggdrasill to fall. It's not me you should be worried about. Do you really think I'm that incompetent? If I was going to kill your father, I would have done it centuries ago."

Lloyd remained silent, watching the Renegade's back and considering his words. It was suddenly so obvious. "You can't kill him—no... you _won't _kill him."

"Is it really that much of a surprise?"

This was one of the rare times that Yuan sounded tired and old. Like his father, Yuan created this illusion that they were timeless, youthful, and invincible. But moments like these, when reality and mortal flaws appeared, the angels of Cruxis showed their true forms. They were tired, old men, living lives way beyond of what they should. It was a wonder they hadn't lost their minds—well...that Yuan and Kratos hadn't followed Mithos' path as well to the point of no return. Lloyd supposed that Martel and his mother were the only reasons Kratos and Yuan had survived this long. Family, love...It was what had brought him back, was it not?

He sighed slowly, gripping the sheath at his hip undecidedly. Perhaps he was a fool, perhaps this was just another one of Yuan's ploys, though Lloyd doubted it.

"You want to come back to Luin with me?"

The offer was vague, the reason unmentioned, but it was understood between the two friends. Yuan lowered his head slightly, a crooked smirk visible from the side of his face. "Why not."

* * *

"Look, he's smiling at you."

Colette peered around their son's face, her smile as large as Leon's as he sat up, leaning against her. Lloyd was sitting next to Colette, but the little boy's eyes had yet to leave his father's face. It seemed to make everyone in the room smile, particularly the women. Both Presea and Sheena constantly attempted to gain Leon's attention, the little dark eyes darting from his father to the two girls, before going back to Lloyd.

Kratos explained it was most likely Lloyd's red vest; the bright color was attracting Leon's attention.

"He loves his Daddy, yes he does." Colette's baby voice earned another smile from the little boy, his head twisting back trying to look at her. His pudgy arms lifted and dropped stiffly, hands clenched in tiny fists.

"He's drooling again." Zelos pointed out. "Seriously, that is so gross."

Sheena nudged him, but smiled. "I'm sure your drool was just as cute when you were this age."

Lloyd glanced at them curiously, surprised at Sheena's lack of insult. But it was momentary, his attention returning to his son as Colette wiped the little chin.

"There you go, all better." Colette smiled, shifting him on her lap, her arm comfortably wrapped around his torso. "So did you figure everything out Lloyd? With Yuan?"

He didn't miss the overly polite tone in her voice. To everyone else, it sounded just like Colette. Innocent curiosity . It was only their argument, from the night before, that alerted Lloyd that the question was more than just curiosity. It wasn't something he wanted to discuss in front of the others.

"I'll tell you later."

She frowned at that, but let it go. He was thankful, but it made him suddenly realize. She was different. Of course, she was still Colette, still herself, but she was a mother now, and everything she did, all her decisions now linked back to the little boy in her arms. Lloyd knew that her concerns were founded and revolved around Leon, always attempting to do what's best by him.

But to see Colette suddenly more assertive and defensive startled him. He knew they would fight later, when their friends would leave, after Leon was tucked into his crib and the door firmly shut. They wouldn't yell, but she would raise her voice to a level of determination and stubbornness he rarely saw from her.

"Is something on your mind?"

He glanced over at his old teacher, seated next to him. She looked exhausted, yet her features impeccably unchanged. Her hair was still growing out, making her appear younger even. Only her eyes showed what her elven blood didn't.

He shook his head to her question, settling back slightly against his chair, eyeing his son again. "Just thinking."

"Seems you do a lot of that now."

"Who would have thought?" Genis smirked, leaning back on his hands from his spot on the floor. "There was a time that would have caused you pain, Lloyd."

He felt an old desire to tell him to 'shut it', but instead he just threw him a weak glare and chuckled. "I suppose there is some truth in that."

Genis grinned, but Raine smoothly cut off his further bantering. "Are you perhaps thinking about Yuan's proposition?"

Lloyd's weak smile fell, his expression hardening as he glance at Colette. "We've already reached a decision on that."

"Aren't you going to share?" Raine pressed.

"Oh yeah, you've chosen which seal we are going to?" Sheena looked up, curiously. "I hope it's in Tethe'alla. I've been itching to go back..."

"Why?" Presea tilted her head at the older girl. "Do you not like Sylvarant and Luin?"

"Well yeah, but..."

Zelos cut in with a smile. "We want to sleep in our comfy beds again, right Babe?"

The woman struggled to control the flush rising to her face and failed horribly. "Why don't you just keep your mouth shut for once Zelos. And that's not the reason, you pervert."

Her muttered words were heard by everyone and Zelos just smiled, shrugging at her comments, his right foot stretching to rub against her back. She let him, leaning back against it.

"I would like to return home as well, one day." Presea spoke up, looking at Genis.

"Oh—well yeah, sure we can go visit Tethe'alla again. Um, we'll have to borrow another rheaird—"

"Yuan has already agreed to lend everyone the use of his rheairds. On the condition that they come back in one piece." Lloyd glanced at the younger two, who exchanged glances. Genis smiled sheepishly.

"We should apologize to Yuan, is he still outside with Kratos?" Presea tilted her head, looking over at the door.

Lloyd frowned, following her gaze. "I suppose so. Perhaps, I should go check on—"

"Never mind that, I'll go see. I need to talk to him anyway."

Everyone watched her curiously as Raine rose and headed towards the door. But their curiosity was short-lived. Only Lloyd smiled weakly, turning back to Colette and Leon. She was looking at him uncertainly, but he merely leaned over, kissing her cheek.

"I promise we'll talk later."

She released a sigh, but nodded, looking down with a smile as Leon grabbed Lloyd's jacket with a chubby hand.

Lloyd chuckled, easily freeing himself, offering his little finger instead. Leon instantly grasped it, tugging it to his mouth, working his tongue and gums over the captured digit. A pair of large, dark brown eyes looked up at him, smiling with a gurgle as Lloyd wiggled his finger in his son's mouth.

* * *

"He's wasting time. Why don't you talk some sense into him and make him—"

"No."

Yuan scowled. A bunch of soft Aurions stood between the reunification of the worlds and utter disaster and both thought playing with a baby was more important than anything else. As usual, he was the only sensible one left within the group...

"Kratos, Yggdrasill is irritated. I've told you he's irritated a number of times. I managed to convince him that I'll find you and bring you in, just to buy you more time, but he's not going to wait forever. He already has Pronyma out searching the cities. How long do you think it'll take her to come search Luin?"

"Then wouldn't you say, lying low is the best strategy? If Lloyd does nothing for a month, especially after making the last pact with Volt, then Yggdrasill has no indication as to where he is."

If only it could be that simple.

"You are only endangering them by prolonging this. Lloyd is as well. Do you want the same thing that happened to you and Anna, happen to him?" Yuan retorted flatly.

"I assure you, that won't happen again." Kratos sighed, revealing his hidden irritation. "Lloyd is a grown man and he'll make his decisions. Our job is to assist him in that."

"That was before he became a push-over like his father. That baby is a menace." Yuan growled. "It's not just you and Lloyd, it's all your comrades. Infatuated with that needy ball of flesh. At this age, the kid isn't going to even notice if Lloyd's not there for a few days. He'll be too busy sucking at Colette's—"

"Are you so shallow as to put the blame on an innocent child, Yuan?"

He cast his eye over, frowning slightly as Raine turned the corner, arms crossed. "Once again, you are listening in on someone's conversation, Miss Sage."

"Hardly. I merely came out to find out what plans you and Lloyd have concocted. He seems reluctant to share them with us at the moment."

"Not with you. More so Colette." Kratos interrupted smoothly. "They were arguing the other night when I came to drop in."

Yuan smirked bitterly. "Barely married and had their first fight. How adorable. I suppose she doesn't like the idea of him leaving. Is she the reason then?"

"Yuan." Raine scowled.

"Why don't you go ask him yourself?" Kratos answered. "I'm going in to see my grandson."

Sighing irritably, Yuan glared at Kratos' back until it vanished around the corner. "He's useless as he is now. Just like when he found Anna. Ignore everything except what involved her immediate attention."

"It's called love." Raine leaned against the wall, looking out towards the street. "I would have assumed you'd have experienced, in one form or another, the same distracting emotions."

He scoffed, smirking bitterly as he followed her gaze. He watched the ignorant people, passing each other in comfortable bliss of their everyday lives. They had no idea of what the world was really like outside their own fabricated little one. Or perhaps they did and they chose not to embrace it. Perhaps they were smarter than the rest...

"Yuan, he will release the seals. But he needs this time with us. I'm sure you can already see it. The changes that have come about. He's more like his old self. Inspired and determined. We both know what happens when that is taken away from him."

"He'll lose it. Yggdrasill won't wait for him to 'find himself', Raine, and that's a fact. He has already wasted years of time and opportunities. Things I had offered him over and over again. Instead, he sits in that house and coddles that-that—"

"His son." Raine frowned, straightening, turning to look at him fully. "Are you so vindictive because he isn't acting, or because you are jealous of what he has?"

His eyes turned aside, her presence lingering in the corner of his senses. "He has decided to release the Wind Seal next."

She remained silent for a time, just watching him. He didn't take the bait, ignoring her as he continued to watch the busy city.

"Alright, then. Genis and Presea also send you their apologies for destroying your rheaird. Lunch will be ready soon and you are welcomed to join us."

"And who extends this welcome?" He finally turned to look at her.

She met his gaze evenly, her expression betraying nothing. "The baby won't hurt you."

Yuan distinctly heard the exasperated 'men' as she turned about, heading back into the house. He chuckled briefly, sighing. After a moment, he trailed after her, hoping his presence might provoke a remainder of what they should be doing.

* * *

"I don't understand why you have to go." Colette frowned, looking away from Lloyd patient gaze. She felt awful accusing and attacking him like this. But ever since that night, when Lloyd nearly missed Leon's birth, she had been afraid that he would miss something else.

"It was my idea to begin with, Colette. I can't just let Sheena and the others taken on the responsibility of—"

"And what of your responsibility as a father?"

She immediately regretted the words that left her mouth at the look he gave her. He was torn, pulled between keeping his word and settling down. She turned away, unable to look at his expression, yet regardless, she heard him walk up behind her.

"It will never be something I forsake, for any reason or obstacle. If you want me to stay, that's what I will do." His words were quiet as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close against him. His height and width enveloped her, an immovable barrier, blocking out the rest of the world. It was just them.

"It-It's not my decision though—"

"Just tell me what you want me to do."

She held her tongue, frowning. Did she really know? At one time, she had wanted to save the world. It seemed so simple back then. Up until the Tower of Salvation...

"I want to help. It was my responsibility from the start, to save this world. Not yours, not anyone else's. I was the Chosen of Sylvarant." It made her sound greedy and she hated it.

"No, Colette. We both know that structure was a lie. You no longer have to carry that burden. And neither does anyone else." He sighed, his breath brushing past her ear. "I wish you would stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong."

"I-I do not blame myself for everything—" His chuckle cut her off and she frowned again, twisting out of his hug to look at him. "Why do you laugh?"

"No reason."

She hesitated. "So are you going then?"

"You never gave me an answer. Do you want me to go?"

"No! I don't!" She raised her voice, hands clenched. "But then that makes me selfish, doesn't it? I-I just don't want you to miss anything more. I don't want you to be away from our son! Wh-What if he does something when you are away? It's not fair. It's not—"

"It's only for a day, Colette—"

"That's not the point!" Colette cut him off. "It was always just one more day. Or one more week. I-I understood before. You had no choice. You had to go back—so then why now? Why do you have to go? Sheena and Zelos can take care of it. Raine even said she was going to go this time. So why do you—"

A whine interrupted them. Colette turned her gaze to the side, where the large protozoan laid curled around the edge of a spread blanket. His large head rested on the corner, in perfect reach of the pair of clumsy fists and chubby grabbing fingers.

Leon lay on his tummy, stretched out on the blanket, where Colette had placed him to play. He was still too young to do much more than bat at the little toys before him. His head unsteadily dipped and lifted as he gurgled happily, reaching to clutch at the fine fur on Noishe's muzzle. The protozoan whined again, but laid patiently.

Colette glanced at her husband, watching the nostalgic smile forming on his mouth. This is what she wanted for him, for him to be able to witness everyday. These little wonders that happened so sporadically and quickly. It didn't seem fair that he should miss out on the, simply because she failed the world by giving up.

But then Leon wouldn't be here if she succeeded…

She sighed, turning hiding her face against his chest, letting his strong arms hold her close. Every decision she made she would be sacrificing something. If she longed for the past, she sacrificed the present and possible future. Was this why Lloyd seemed so content with the decisions he was making? Was it because Lloyd knew that regardless of what he had to do, he still had her and their son?

"I will stay, after this one, Colette. If that's what you want, I will stay. I want to see Leon grow up too."

She closed her eyes, sighing. From relief or exhaustion, she couldn't bring herself to admit, but she let him lift her face and kiss her warmly. He seated himself in her rocking chair, pulling her on his lap, where she curled her legs up. They rocked gently, their eyes on Leon as he wriggled and batted at the toys, never once releasing his grip on Noishe.

**Please Review.**


	46. Chapter 46

**Listening to **Second Chance by Shinedown. **One of my favorite songs. Sorry guys for the long wait for the chapters. Life likes to get in the way. Thanks for your patience, reviews and time. Hope you all enjoy!**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 46: **

There are moments, in a man's life, where the façade they build and shape around them, falls and crumbles in a pathetic display of utter weaknesses and desires. Of course, in all his years, Lloyd rarely experienced these moments on Derris Kharlan, nor did he ever witness them.

Perhaps it's the innocence and delicate nature of a child that can bring a strong man to his knees. The sudden realization of how vulnerable that child is leaves a man's defenses wide open.

That is what Leon did to Lloyd. However, Lloyd wasn't the only one suffering through it.

"I can't possibly understand why you must have me along. Yourself and the other three should be more than enough to handle Slyph."

Lloyd smirked slightly, not bothering to glance at his sulking father. Kratos' glowering attitude was not hidden well. His expression was dark and narrow. His gait was quick and his stride stiff. He was a man thwarted from his pre-planned goals and he was allowing his irritation to show.

"Leon will be there when we get back," Lloyd calmly replied.

A grunt confirmed Kratos' embarrassment. "That doesn't answer the question as to why you need me along."

Lloyd glanced aside over to where Genis struggled to stifle a chuckle. Even Sheena was smiling as she looked straight ahead.

Zelos was the one that took the bait.

"Look Old Man, Lloyd obviously wants you to have time out from the kid. From what we've seen, you tend to hog the little brat. You barely even like Colette take him."

Genis' laughter erupted as Kratos snapped his gaze upon Zelos', the latter physically recoiling from the older man with a laughing plead.

"Hey, hey! Easy there, we were just pointing out the obvious—isn't that right, Lloyd? You better not let your old man kill me—"

"You dug your own grave, Zelos," Lloyd retorted, with a faint smirk as he looked around.

"Lloyd's right. You really did." Genis pointed out

.

"Look, everyone was thinking it. I mean, it was so obvious—"

"Chosen, if you have even the slightest hint of sense, I suggest you close your mouth." Kratos warned.

Lloyd shook his head, listening to Genis' laughter. He glanced to the side as Sheena stepped up beside him, rolling her eyes.

"He really does love Leon, doesn't he?" she smiled weakly.

"Yes. I suppose in a way it's a second chance for him." Lloyd lifted his arm, stopping her. "Watch your step."

She remained silent as they carefully crossed the spiked pathway, glancing back afterwards. "A second chance? Isn't it just because he's a grandfather?"

Lloyd frowned. "Well I suppose that's possible." She looked at him expectantly, but he didn't continue, suddenly uncomfortable with the discussion.

Whether she understood it or not, she shifted the topic, glancing around. "It's strange to think we're back here. This is where I fought you guys."

Lloyd nodded slowly. "Yes, it is."

"It seems so long ago. I was really…such a kid back then."

"We all were."

She glanced at him, frowning. "Lloyd…"

"It's done with, Sheena. Let it be." He cut her off, stepping over to a doused torch. He gathered a bit of mana, a flame flickering to life in his palm and igniting the oil soaked end. Within seconds, light flooded the area, throwing flickering shadows across the mausoleum's walls. Lloyd turned towards the steps.

"It's not done with." She had stepped forward, standing slightly before him. "Lloyd, I never really thanked you for saving Corrine in Volt's temple. And I never apologized for how I treated you…back in Tethe'alla."

He waited, meeting her gaze. She struggled to hold it, then her jaw tensed and she clenched her fist. "Say something."

"What would you like me to say?"

She hesitated, looking aside before sighing. "Do you really mean it? Do you really think it's possible to stop Yggdrasill?"

"I do."

She looked back at him, biting her lip, but looking hopeful. "I know when you were taken that we weren't that good of friends. Acquaintances, more like it. But at the Tower of Salvation, when you jumped up and fought that angel…Remiel, when you said that there had to be a better way. Well…I wanted to help. I still do. Because in Volt's Temple, you- well what you said reminded me of back then…"

"That you want to help is obvious. It is why you are making the pacts, is it not? Why you requested my help?" He cut her off quickly.

Her face reddened slightly and she frowned. "Look, stop making me sound stupid. I just want to say that I trust you, alright? Even after the stupid stunts you pulled and staying with Cruxis and getting Colette pregnant and all." She took a breath, calming herself. "I trust you."

He didn't respond, he didn't have to. The others were coming up behind them, and Lloyd quickly stepped up. He ignored the wary glance from Zelos, but noting the way he walked up to Sheena, slipping his arm around her. She fussed, but said nothing either.

Trust. He hesitated, eyes scanning the damp, stone walls as he walked. The ripples and cracks making him think of his own road. Back then, trust was something taken for granted, earned and taken without a second thought. And after Cruxis, he never thought he could believe in such a word again. He couldn't even trust in himself, much less expect it from anyone else. But now, here, Sheena openly offered it, making her forgiveness known.

He closed his eyes with a sigh and opened them with a snap, focusing them on the doors ahead.

He led them through the archway, up the steps to the altar dais. For a moment, he saw Colette, kneeling before the altar, her wings spread and hands clasped on prayer. It was a mere illusion, a memory of the past; it stung nonetheless. To think how naïve they had been back then.

"Alright, here I go. Wish me luck." Sheena gave a weak smile.

A jingle of a bell sounded and Corrine was darting about her feet, slipping from thin air as he usually did. Inwardly, Lloyd hoped he wouldn't have to rescue the small summon spirit again.

He cast an eye at Zelos, watching him step just ahead of the others, his hand resting on his sword.

"Hey, Lloyd? I'll handle it this time."

Lloyd smirked at the warning, but nodded silently. Zelos had recovered rather quickly from his wounds during the pact with Volt. It was a pride thing and Lloyd wouldn't interfere. In fact, he was hoping he wouldn't be needed at all. It would make him feel more reassured that Sheena and the other would be able to handle a pact making without him.

He watched as the Slyph took form above them.

* * *

"You think you can handle it, Babe?" Zelos stepped closer as the Slyph fluttered apart. His eyes drifted across the fairy-beings, before turning aside to look at Sheena.

"And what makes you think I need your help?" She scoffed, stepping forward with the cocky little stride. He tilted his head, watching her feet cross before each other, catching the sway of her body with a little grin.

"I don't understand why she stopped smacking you. You are such a perv." Genis grunted, twisting his spear slightly, flexing his fingers on the shaft.

Zelos smirked. "Probably the same reason Presea cleans up after you."

Face reddening, Genis scowled and stepped backward, his eyes on the Slyph as Sheena carried out the formal introductions. "She does not clean up after me..."

"Sure, sure, Kid." he chuckled, but his eyes narrowed as he caught the ending of the conversation.

"Let's go!"

He cringed at the high-pitched voice, his sword already loose in his hand stepping forward, only to pull back sharply, one of the fairies rushing past him. He twisted, turning to face it, eyes widening for a second as he caught sight of the massive sword gripped in it's hands.

"The cute ones are always vicious..." he muttered, rushing towards the fairy, lunging off the ground with a slash. The screech of metal rang out as the momentum carried him past the fairy. A quick glance revealed Genis thrusting his spear at the smallest fairy carrying a insanely large shield.

A sharp whistle made snap his head around and drop to the ground. A loud thud at his side showed a quivering arrow embedded in the stone dias.

"Stop gawking around and fight, Zelos!" Sheena hollered.

He rolled his eyes rolling to his feet, lifting his sword to deflect a sword blow. "I would if you kept your part of the battle occupied!"

"What do you think I'm doing!"

"Guys can we just fight the summon spirit!" Genis snapped.

Zelos frowned, hopping back from a long slash. He cursed under his breath, considering how to get past the fairy's defenses. The blue-haired fairy lowered her sword slightly, the four wings flapping, keeping her just above Zelos'.

Her body was small compared to the size of the sword and made her a more difficult target to hit. Suddenly, he felt a stir in the air and quickly sidestepped as a gust of wind screamed into a minature whirlwind. He hissed as the small stones carried by the gust sliced his skin and he narrowed his eyes.

"You did not just cut my face."

He lunged forward, slashing quickly, forcing the fairy on the defensive, easing it back before he stepped back, lifting his sword. Mana surged from the air through him and he wisted, thrusting out his hand. "Take this!"

Beneath the fairy a part of the dias rumbled and exploded upwards, pierced through with giantatic spike. The fairy gave a cry of pain as a second spike pierced her wing, pinning her, making her an easy target for the following stones.

However, at the same time he heard a second cry, turning to see Sheena stumbling, gripping her side. His eyes snapped to the fairy, once more lifting her bow.

Lifting his sword, he drew upon the mana once more, focusing it, feeling the crackling energy.

As he did, he saw a blur of fur and the jingle of a bell as Corrine leapt from Sheena's shoulder at the fairy, sharp little teeth clamping down on the arm.

The fairy gave a shriek, jerking her arm dropping the arrow she had been setting.

Zelos cursed, breaking off the spell, instead rushing forward with his sword. But, before he could even get close, Sheena was there, slapping a card upon the fairy's abdomen, flipping back out of the way.

Corrine dropped, darting to the side as the seal exploded, sending the fairy crashing to the ground. Sheena's gaze snapped to Zelos, narrowing. "Go help Genis you idiot!"

Zelos stopped, gritting his teeth as his girl rushed forward, the blasted little fox darting after her to finish off the down fairy.

Despite his irritation, Zelos spun around and did as she said. Genis was at a stalemate, unable to cast any spells, yet his spear unable to do more than a few scratches to the tiny fairy.

She nearly squeaked in surprised as she watch Zelos rushing up and she twisted her body, heaving the massive shield and threw herself directly at him.

"What the hell-?" Zelos cursed, twisting his sword up, but still staggered backward, taking the full hit, despite blocking.

He hissed, stepping back, keeping his sword crossed across his body. The small fairy slowly tried to straighten, but froze, looking up as the mana began to swirl about her, the air crackling and snapping. She struggled to rise, her small wings fluttering to lift her and the shield, but Zelos knew she'd never make it.

A thundering explosion deafened the surrounding area, a bolt of white lightning thundering down upon the fairy, exploding, silencing even her cry.

Zelos sighed, looking over at where Genis glared at the vanishing spell. "Finally."

"A little overkill, don't you think?" Zelos smirked, making Genis turn his irritated glare at him.

"You didn't have to try and fight her."

Corrine's bell made Zelos glance over, Sheena was already once again before the altar. The Slyph had reformed above her, but Zelos didn't care about them. His eyes lowered to the large gash in her side. It was an glancing blow from an arrow, but it was bleeding.

He started forward, then stopped, waiting impatiently as the Slyph continued to prattle on.

"Wow, you guys are strong! We haven't had a good battle for a long time."

"Indeed, it was refreshing. You have proven your strength, Sheena. We trust our power to you. We do not wish to be betrayed again."

He didn't even bother waiting for Sheena to turn around. Once the Slyph vanished he was striding to her side, lifting her arm and placing a hand gently against her side.

Startled, she jerked, looking at him."Zelos, what-?"

"You're injuried, you shouldn't leave that for too long. What were you thinking?" he frowned, watching the wound closing slowly, the skin melding together.

"Zelos, it's just a scratch. Calm down." She scoffed, but when he met her gaze, she wasn't angry, just curious.

He flinched, hesitating, then just frowned, finishing the heal before pulling back slowly. "You should have asked for help."

"Help? Wh- Zelos I was handling it just fine. It's just a graze, not even serious." she huffed, pushing his hand away. "Maybe you should worry about that bruise forming on your arm too."

"Sheena-" he frowned.

"I can fight, Zelos. I don't always need your help."

Zelos grabbed her arm as she tried to step down from the altar. Her eyes widen, lifting up to him as he frowned. "Sometimes you do. Maybe you forgot how you almost died, but I haven't."

He released her, wanting to turn and move away, but instead, merely turned his head aside. He noticed then, Lloyd stepping forward, knowing the guy clearly heard the exchange.

Yet, Lloyd acted as if he hadn't, ignoring it. "If we are done, we should get going." He paused, glancing back to where Kratos stood. "Dad wants to get back to play with Leon."

* * *

She was fairly familiar with Sylvarant now. Travelling with Genis helped her learn all the towns and roads. In many ways, she almost preferred the more mundane lifestyle that Slyvarant offered. It reminded her a lot of Ozette.

Glancing to the side, she took in the man driving the wagon. She had found him passing coming into Luin with a delivery from Asgard. She had heard and seen of the dragon caravans, a popular mode of transportation for those in this region of Slyvarant.

It had been difficult in the beginning, to convince the man to prolong his return to Asgard and instead make a trip southwest, past Hima to Iselia. She acquired help persuading him with a fair offer of gald in return for his services.

She turned her gaze ahead. Only Raine knew about her decision to leave. It was more of an after thought, while talking with Colette and playing with Leon.

"Kratos was not pleased to leave with the others."

"No," Colette said with a laugh. "But I think it's a good thing. Leon is getting rather spoiled between his grandfather and Lloyd always carrying him around."

"Is it bad that they wish to do that?" Presea tilted her head. "It is understandable of course. He is rather cute."

Hearing his voice, Leon's large eyes moved, latching onto Presea's, giving her a large toothless grin as he waved his arms.

"He definitely knows it too." Colette giggled, shifting her son so he straddled her leg, leaning him back gently against her. "I know that if father and Dirk were here, they would spoil him even more."

It was that look on Colette's face that helped Presea decide to undergo this trip right then. She knew Genis and the others would be back before she even returned. But Presea knew that this was something she could do for Colette and Lloyd. And more so, she knew that it was a way to repay Dirk for making her a key crest.

They reached Iselia on the third day. She left the driver at the small inn, his dragon wagon peeking the interest and suspicion of the towns people. She ignored the few annoyed glances cast her way. She had not returned to Iselia since Colette had been banished and she was certain that if Genis had come along, they would have received even more hostility. Even still, she made her way towards the far end of the town, keeping her axe buckled to her back.

As she approached the Brunel house, she saw Frank in the yard, digging in the flowerbeds. His blond hair seemed thinner and had a bit more gray than she remembered.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Brunel."

She stepped up to the gate, patient as he lifted his head, looking at her with startled confusion. But recognition crossed his face and he gave her a tired smile, pushing to his feet with a small groan.

"Are you alright?" she frowned, stepping forward to assist if he wished it. But he chuckled, waving his hand.

"I'm alright, Presea. And please, call me Frank. It's just my knees, I was kneeling too long." He straightened, settling his tired eyes on her. "Would you like to come inside for some tea?"

Her first instinct was to decline. But after her years with Genis, these pleasantries were becoming habitual. They were a way to subtly slip past awkward encounters. So at his request, she smiled gently, nodding.

"If it's not to much trouble."

He smiled in returned and gestured for her to re-exit through the gate, closing it as he followed her to the house. She noted that the building hadn't changed much since her last visit, perhaps only having a few more plants along the porch step.

"So what brings you all the way to Iselia? And without Genis, I don't recall ever seeing you two separated before."

She found a seat at the table, allowing Frank to prepare the tea. "It was a sudden decision to make the journey here. I was hoping you and Dirk would accompany me back to Luin."

The elder man paused, glancing back at her with slight confusion. "Luin?"

"Yes. It is where Colette is currently living." She paused, hesitating for a moment. "With her son."

The dishes clattered as Frank fumbled to keep hold of them, quickly setting them down to look at her. "Her son…She's alright? She had the baby—a boy?"

Presea nodded slowly, a small smile coming to her face Frank slowly sank into a chair, the tea forgotten. "Are you alright?"

"Yes-yes, I just… When I hadn't heard from her…not since the wedding, I was beginning to worry. I wasn't sure if-…" He shook his head quickly, sitting straighter. "They are still there now? How soon do we leave?"

"As soon as I have located Dirk, which I can do immediately. Once I have, we can return here and meet up at the inn where the dragon wagon I hired is waiting for us." She stood slowly. "You should have plenty of time to pack."

He nodded, but she didn't leave immediately, instead, she rose and walked to the stove to finish making the tea.

"Frank, do you know where I might find Dirk?"

He frowned. "I'm afraid not. Dirk hasn't been seen near Iselia since...Lloyd vanished."

It was an answer Presea had been expecting, though it was still a little disappointing. She set the steaming teacup before Frank, then showed herself out, giving him a rough estimate of her return.

In a lot of ways, she was apprehensive about this part of the journey. She knew she could not leave with just Frank, leaving Dirk behind and unaware of Lloyd's son. But at the same time, Presea wasn't entirely happy about returning to the place where her consciousness returned, where reality came crashing back. She could remember vividly what it felt like to be alive again and as much as she enjoyed her life as it is now...

The memory still terrified her.

**Review Please.**


	47. Chapter 47

**Listening to **You'll be in my Heart by Phil Collins**. This song is adorable. You can place Leon with any of his family and the lyrics would match, though originally I was thinking Kratos and Leon. So cute. Anyway, big apology on the delay again. It's getting a bit repetitive I know, but I am sorry. I just finished my last day of work and finally getting my new apartment all finalized and will be starting university again in a week. Between everything, I'm just glad the stress is gone now so I can write. And thanks for all the patience, reviews, favorites, alerts, and a big welcome to any new readers! I hope you all enjoy!**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 47:**

_"Where am I? Who are you? Where's my daddy?!"_

Her eyes gazed upon the faint path leading through the forest, leading up to the small protruding mound.

_"What-what have I been doing? Where am I?"_

_"Calm down, lass."_

He was like a bear. Even as short as he was, he was large compared to her. His broad shoulders, heavy beard and gruff voice. He loomed above her, blocking out the glow of light behind him. But he smiled, the white flash of his teeth in the shadows and dim lighting.

_"What's going on?!"_

_"Presea! Please calm down-"_

She closed her eyes, shaking her head gently and approached the door. The knock resounded like a dull thud and she stepped back, casting an eye around the forest.

Then he emerged, pushing the door open, his bulk filling the entrance as he blinked up at her, squinting in the light. It took him a moment, shielding his eyes, before recognition filled his face.

"Aye... Presea, isn't it?" A small, scruffy grin appeared before he started backing down the hole. "Come on in, Lass."

She waited patiently as he lowered to the ground before carefully descending the steps into the home. She pulled shut the doors, darkness enveloping her for a moment and she stood motionless.

_"Ya have been given a second chance Lass. Don't go wasting the time you have been given back, worrying about the time taken from ya."_

Her vision cleared after a moment, the shadowy figure ahead of her leading the way through the tunnel. She suddenly realized to proceed she needed to lower her head slightly. She didn't remember the place being this small.

"So what brings you here, lass?"

She didn't answer right away, first entering the common room. She straightened slowly, glancing around the den before finding a seat on one of the chairs. "I was wondering if you would accompany Frank and myself to Luin."

The chair creaked slightly under the dwarf. His bushy eyebrows raised slightly, his dark eyes glittering in the light. "Luin? Is that where they settled down then?"

"Yes, Colette and Lloyd have a home there, with their son, Leon."

"So it was a boy then." he guffawed. "Somehow it don't surprise meh at all."

She smiled slightly, unsure of how to respond. In her opinion, she knew that it was impossible to know the gender of the child before it was born. But it was obvious that it was a phrase.

She noticed the small smile as he watched her and she gave an inquiring glance, feeling uncomfortable under his scrutiny.

"Ya really have come far haven't ya, Lass? Sitting there all grown up from that little sprout that you were when ya first came to me. Hard to believe it."

"Yes, I have grown since then."

He smiled again, flashing his white teeth. "And how is Genis treating ya? I'm surprised he ain't here with ya? You two didn't have a fight did ya?" He groaned slightly, rising from his chair as he shuffled across the room.

"No, we haven't fought. Genis went with Lloyd to the Wind Seal to make a pact with a summon spirit." She paused, adding quietly, "Genis treats me very well. Ever since the day you made me that key crest. And even before that."

"Aye, that he has." Dirk returned carrying a small satchel. "Well what are we waiting for. Let's go see my little grandson."

* * *

His fingers brushed through the fine tufts of hair darkening upon the soft little head. He smiled gently down, in a pair of small pudgy hands his other finger was held hostage, wedged between the slobbery gums of his grandson.

A wide, gummy grin appeared from his trapped finger and the little hands tightened their grip as Kratos gently teased and tugged his finger.

"Is that really healthy? I mean, no one has any idea how dirty that finger really is?" Sheena huffed, folding her arms.

"I washed my hands." Kratos indignantly countered, not bothering to look at the ninja. She was merely jealous. Of course, he had priority to Leon, he was his grandfather after all, so why shouldn't he?"

"It's really creepy. I mean he's smiling."

This time, Kratos' gaze lifted to give Genis a withering look, but he just smirked and shrugged. "When you sit there with your finger in a baby's mouth and drool running down your arm, you really can't be intimidating. "

Despite his irritation, chuckles and laughter flowed from the others. He glanced over towards Lloyd as he sat near Colette, her smiling eyes resting upon Leon as she sipped her tea.

Kratos glanced at Lloyd's amused smirk before returning one. "Although Lloyd won't remember, he spend a lot of nights with my finger in his mouth as well."

Lloyd cleared his throat as his friends laughed and Kratos smiled confidently back down at Leon. A few spit bubbles formed as his little grandson gurgled nonsensically up at him, one chubby hand reaching for his drooping hair.

"I wonder when Presea will get back," Genis sighed after a time of silence.

"Well it's been a few days, you need to give her time." Raine responded evenly.

"I can't believe you actually let her go alone."

"I think she's perfectly capable of doing so. She hardly needs me or you to babysit her now, Genis." Raine scolded, flipping a page in her book.

"Hey, I thought it was the other way around? Doesn't the Rosebud babysit the Brat?" Zelos quipped.

"Can it Zelos or I'll give you something to whine about!" Genis narrowed his eyes, but there was no denying the redness of his cheeks.

"Aw, Genis are you getting defensive?"

"What? No! We look out for each other, alright? That's it! There is no babysitting!" He glared towards Sheena, who just laughed, leaning back against Zelos on the sofa.

"I think it's cute that Genis is worried about Presea." Colette smiled gently. "But I'm sure she is fine."

Kratos tuned out Genis' stammering reply, chuckling quietly at the small tugs on his hair, the inquisitive dark eyes moving.

"Dad..."

Kratos glanced up to see Lloyd standing before him, a crooked smile on his son's face. "What is it?"

"Colette and I would like to go for a walk, so..."

"Don't worry. Leon is quite safe with me. Enjoy yourselves." Kratos said, hesitating near the end at the amused look on Lloyd's face.

"Well, actually, we were going to take Leon out with us. So..." he stepped forward, smoothly slipping his arms between Leon and Kratos' hold, scooping the babe up and cradling him close to his chest. Kratos sat motionless for a moment, but when he went to move, he stopped and leaned back into the chair, instead watching Lloyd turn to his smiling wife, taking the blanket she offered.

As they walked past, Lloyd swaddling Leon snuggly, he could not deny the warm smile on Lloyd's face. As much as he longed to spend more time with his grandson, Kratos relented with a slight sigh, turning his attention instead to the window.

He ignored the laughter floating around the room, and the obvious jibes being thrown his way. He instead tracked the slow stride of his son and daughter-in-law as they started down the street. However, he frowned, noticing them slow to a stop completely.

He stood from his chair, moving closer to the window to look out. What he saw made him clench his teeth and narrow his eyes. Stiffly he turned from the window and strode quickly across the room towards the door.

"Hey- Kratos what's wrong?" Genis startled question followed him.

Kratos frowned, hand gripping his sword reflexively as he threw open the door, answering the young half-elf brusquely.

"The other grandparents."

* * *

"My goodness Colette..." Frank trailed off his eyes nearly teary, gently bouncing his arms as earning a large gummy grin from Leon.

"Now that right thar is the cutest thing I've seen in many years. Smiles just like his father. " Dirk chuckled, reaching a large hand to brush against his head, the dark locks pushed back and up. Leon blinked with wide eyes, then presented another smile, his fuzzy hair sticking up.

Everyone laughed, except Kratos and Lloyd sighed in exasperation, glancing over at the man. Kratos was standing to one side of the room, his face once more in that more familiar glare that used to accompany him before he became a grandfather. Kratos hadn't said a word since Colette and Lloyd re-entered the house with Leon's other grandfather's and Presea.

Still, Lloyd wasn't about to get drawn into his father's obvious jealousy. Instead, he looked to his side and kissed Colette's cheek. "Let's go on that walk later tonight."

She nodded with a smile and silence, leaning into his side as she watched her father and son. She had been in tears when she saw Frank descend that wagon, his aging body hurrying towards her and enveloping her in a hug. Even more startled, Lloyd could hardly comprehend seeing Dirk striding more slowly behind him, Presea at his side.

"Well would you look at that? Not seen you since the wedding and you already have the look of a father about ya holding that little lad in your arms." The slap on Lloyd's back still made him take a step forward and Leon's eyes darted about a bit, kicking slightly in his arms.

Lloyd smiled at the memory. It had been the only greeting he had gotten before Leon stole the elder man's attention. The dwarf practically scooped Leon from Lloyd's arms and held him aloft, bringing him back into the crook of his muscled arm. With his head tilted, his dark eyes flashing with mirth beneath his bushy eyebrows, it was no wonder that Leon's chin quivered and a wail broke from his pink mouth.

But Dirk had only laughed, tweaking the little nose between two fingers with a grin. "Ya just like ya dad with a that set of lungs. Nothing to be afraid of lad, I ain't no bear."

Lloyd watched Leon on Frank's lap, his son's eyes focused on Dirk's large face peering over the shoulder. With Frank's gentle hand and soft voice, Leon remained calm, emitting only small whimpers occasionally that relented with a gentle bounce of Frank's arms.

Lloyd knew that as Leon grew, he'd have no lack of love and attention. With three grandfather's: Frank's gentleness, Dirk's gruffness, and Kratos' protection, Leon would be quite overwhelmed.

Of course, that also meant Lloyd would struggle to find time with Leon himself, especially if he continued to leave and help with the seals. Would his own presence be lost among all the other male role models? He frowned deeply, only to twitch as Colette kissed his cheek.

"You are starting to look like Kratos. What's wrong?"

He glanced at her, taking a breath the back at Leon, shaking his head. "Nothing. I'm alright.

She said nothing, only leaning her head against him with a smile, watching Frank gently tap at Leon's bare feet, smiling at the jerky kicks and grins.

"It's perfect, isn't it?" Colette murmured softly.

Lloyd took another deep breath, letting it out slowly, a gentle smile caressing his lips. "Yes, it's perfect."

* * *

She slipped around the tables, casting an eye about until she finally spotted him. She moved over, sliding the chair out and seating herself.

"I'm surprised you weren't delayed by the adorable baby bunny."

"What are you talking about?"

"You really need to question Lloyd about it." Yuan smirked, leaning forward.

"I'll keep that in mind." Raine scoffed, then glanced at the young waiter. "Just water please."

"Nothing stronger?" Yuan smirked, taking a sip from his own glass.

"You said you wanted to meet... privately." she spoke slowly and evenly. He was clearly amused at her attempts to remain neutral. She hated how he had worded the request, obviously trying to have her make assumptions. But she wouldn't be so easily played.

"Yes, well, at least more private than we are at that house. That baby really causes a commotion. Do you really think it is so wise for everyone to be gathered at one little place. It'd draw attention you know."

Raine frowned, eyeing him. "Is there a threat?"

"Not exactly. Not immediately anyway. But I'm surprised you don't think the same way." He tilted his head in an exaggerated way, making her scowl.

"Do not presume to know what I do or don't think." Raine paused as her drink was brought. She refrained from attacking him, taking a sip of water and clearing her throat. Make the bastard wait, she thought.

"Of course I think it's a mistake. But I think it can be a strength to, for the moment. If anything, Lloyd has regained a lot of self-confidence and trust since the group as reunited. It's not like you discouraged it in the first place either."

"No, I don't argue that. But, while you all coo and swoon over that smelly little addition to the Aurion family, you've all let your guard down."

Raine frowned, for a moment, unwilling and unable to come up with a response. Yuan, as much as she hated to admit it, was correct. They had been distracted.

"Then tell me what's going to happen." Raine pressed. "Playing these guessing games is simply wasting time."

Yuan frowned and leaned back, taking another sip of his drink. His expression hardened slightly, and Raine thought she could detect almost a simmering anger and resentment. Not at her though...

"Not will. Has. Asgard was attacked the other day. My men received the intel too late, though some have gone, as volunteers to help with the recovery of the city."

"What?" Raine leaned forward, eyes widening slightly."Asgard? But why? What could possibly attract the Desians to that city? I don't think they even entered the city when they went to release the seal-"

"It wasn't Desians." Yuan frowned, running a finger over the lip of the glass. Raine could tell by bitterness in his voice that this information struck at a more personal level. What? She didn't know.

"If it wasn't Desians then..." she trailed off.

Yuan lifted his eyes. "Angels."

**Please Review.**


	48. Chapter 48

**Listening to **It Only Hurts by Default**. Once again, been a long time. Thanks for your patience everyone. University has started again and attempting to be a 'good' student and keeping ahead of my studies. haha, we'll see how long that lasts. I finally have a place of my own, so yay. Anyway, enough about me. I want to thank all you amazing readers and thank you for all your reviews! Always apprieciated. Hope you all enjoy!**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 48:**

It was just like Iselia. He knew it would be deep down. It had been another promise that he had failed to keep. Another mire of destruction following him like a shadow.

His eyes lowered to the large dark ones looking up at him, not dimmed by the shadows of the room. His son kicked his small feet against the entrapment of the blanket, a clenched knuckle half engulfed by the little mouth.

Perhaps it had been selfish of him, after hearing the news from Raine, after laying awake beside Colette as she rested beneath the covers beside him—he hadn't told her, couldn't bring himself too—only to rise and step over toward the crib next to the bed. It had been simple, felt right to gather the sleeping bundle into his arms and carrying him from the room.

There was a serenity enclosed about them, a dome of innocence that seemed to isolate them from the world. It was a pleasant idea, nothing more, but one that existed all the same. When Lloyd looked down upon his son, he could shut everything else away, lose himself in the peaceful contentment Leon always seemed to have.

But it was the guilt that made it wane and allowed him to once again imagine the burnt out shells of buildings and frameworks, crumbling under the brush of a hand. He could see the fallen bodies of those trying to fight, trying to escape. It would be Iselia again, but he knew that the Desians took victims, took hosts. The angels wouldn't.

A shiny, drool-covered hand reached up, clasping the air just below where his hair hung above his eyes. The gurgling bubbles on his tiny lips popped, making Leon flinch and blink in wonder and confusion. Lloyd could only find himself chuckling, moving his hand in accessible reach for the four month old baby.

With his finger clasped in a tiny grip, Lloyd saw the inevitability. One day, Yggdrasill would come for them, find them...kill them. There could be no other option. He hardly believed it feasible that the half-elf could desire anymore threats. Colette was useless as a vessel now. She was much like his mother had been. Simply a distraction, a threat, a thing to be eliminated.

But Lloyd had no reason to remain alive...unless, Yggdrasill was still under the assumption his father would release the seal upon his death.

He formed, looking out the window. Could, then, Yggdrasill still threaten their lives? Would the only option be to take them captive? Hostage on that damned comet. It wasn't something Lloyd was particularly appeasable to either. Still, it was better than death in some ways. There was room to maneuver and manipulate the enemy. Not much, if barely any, but enough to make him relax against wall beside the window.

The mist of the morning was speckling the glass, droplets running in smears through the condensation. There was a chill in the air, a color in the leaves. Was it possible they'd get snow this season? The likely hood of it being anymore more than a slushed rain on the cobbled streets seemed unlikely, but he could almost picture the gleeful wonder of his son's eyes looking upon the blinding white blanket, to feel the cold nip at his small nose...

A sound made him look back down at the baby. He smiles gently, shifting his arms gently, rocking Leon as he suckled on his father's knuckle contently, large brown eyes regarding him in silence.

"He never cries when he's with you" a tired voice slipped through the silence.

Lloyd lifted his eyes to look at his wife, a gentle smile on her lips as she crossed the room. When she neared she slipped her arms around him, gently kissing his cheek before laying her head on his shoulder.

"I want to come with you."

He didn't move, only his eyebrows pulling together at her words. "Where—?"

"Please don't lie to me, Lloyd. I hate it when you think you need to lie. I noticed Raine talking to you in private yesterday, and how restless you have been all night. I don't need to sleep either, remember?"

He said nothing, wiggling his knuckle gently.

"I want to come and help. The angels wouldn't be there anymore. I'm partially responsible for this as well, and...and I want a chance to help."

"It's dangerous. And what about Leon—?"

"He has three grandfathers nearby. Dad, Dirk, and Kratos can all come over. I hardly think Cruxis could even get past those three." She smiled gently, lifting her head, her hand guiding his face to look at her. "Please, let me come with you. Let me help you."

He met her gaze, reading the longing and hope in her eyes. He couldn't say no.

She kissed him happily, holding his face, before scooping Leon from his arms. "I'll go feed him and then we can leave early. You go to the inn and tell the grandpas to come over."

The dome of innocence was gone, now enwrapped about Colette as she made her way back to the room, their babbling son in her arms. He felt chilled suddenly, but pushed the feeling aside, standing.

Her eyes drifted across the canyon city, pain welling up inside her.

The first handful of buildings were unharmed for the most part, built within the stone of the mountainside. But she could smell and see the smoke rising from deeper within the city as they walked under the gateway.

Lloyd never said a word as his eyes surveyed the damaged. She hated the hollow look they had taken on and she tried to grip his hand to offer her comfort, but he was already moving ahead.

Her lowered hand was met with the nudge of a cold nose and she looked down at Noishe, licking her hand. She smiled gently, running her hand about his ears before stepping forward, the protozoan walking at her side.

The sound of a mellow, low voice drew her attention, averting her path from Lloyd's as he entered the upper stores, scorched by blood. Noishe padded beside her, his ears pulled back gently, wariness in his whimper, but she gently stroked his large head.

A number of people were huddled around a makeshift tent, mostly elderly and young children. Before them a priest, with a voice rising and falling, bounding off the canyon walls as if it was the word of the heavens itself.

"We must repent in our sins! We must find the path of light and virtue and return to the holy grace of our goddess! It is a sign! A sign granted to us to mend our ways, to correct our mortal and flawed lives! To—"

She frowned, her hand clenching as she listened to his preachings. It was unfair to lay the blame upon these people. To let them think they had been living in the wrong when it was really—

But before she could step forward, she saw him striding like a thundercloud down the steps. Her voice caught in her throat and she lifted a hand, hurrying forward to try and intercept him as his dark eyes narrowed upon the priest.

"Lloyd—"

But he grabbed him, his vestments twisted within his fist and finely shoed feet dangling in the air. The crowd gasped in astonishment, dozens offering prayers and recoiling in fear.

"Goddess, forgive us!"

"Lloyd! No—"

"These people have done nothing for you to preach your pious beliefs and ideals upon them. The beings that attacked this city were nothing but machinations of an organization, linked to the Desians." His words sliced through the noise like knives, silencing the people.

She grasped his arm, but he had already dropped the man, leaving him to stumble across the ground, his voice rising in indignation, only to stop as his eyes laid upon her.

"I see now. There we have it. The failed Chosen, deserter of the world! She dares to bring her presence upon you all—"

The sickening crack resounded and the man dropped to the ground, a pained moan rising from his bleeding mouth.

Colette's eyes widen and she rushed to his side, pulling the cloths from the small satchel she carried over her shoulder, gently pressing it to his bleeding nose. "No- hold still, please. Lloyd!" Her eyes snapped back to him, but he didn't respond, his eyes expressionless as he looked upon her.

She longed to scold him to reprimand him, but she bit her tongue, sighing. "See to the children, make sure they have something to eat and if any are injured..."

Her eyes looked at the dazed priest below her and she gently wiped the blood from his face, tilting his head. "I'm sorry. We didn't mean for this to happen. We only wished to help."

Awarness returned to the man's eyes and he made a sweeping motion with his hand, attempting to ward her off, a muffled declaration rising from his throat.

She frowned in frustration, unsure of how to care for the man who didn't want her help, but a figure kneeled beside her and she looked over, staring at Lloyd as he reached forth, removing her hand.

"Lloyd, he needs—"

"It's alright." He hovered his hand above the man's twisting face, a gentle glow sinking down through the skin.

The priest gasped slightly, blinking in surprise. Blood still smeared his face, but the pained look had vanished for the most part. His nose was slightly askew, marring his appearance. It was then Colette noticed how young the man appeared.

"You-you heathens! Assaulting a man of the cloth and daring to lay your hands upon-"

"I'd hold my tongue if I were you." Lloyd's voice a dark growl as he removed his hand.

The man's ashened face tightened as his lips pinched together in silent fury. Colette withdrew, despite her reluctance to do so. He didn't want her help and she knew he was injured because he had insulted her. Her eyes drifted to Lloyd, but he was already on his feet, his eyes scanning the crowd. Many held dark expressions for him, others fear. Now was not the time to be fighting. It made her sick to think they had caused it.

She rose, making her way to his side, longing to draw him away from them. But she could sense his anger wasn't quelled.

"You weren't attacked under some righteous order. The angels were nothing more than a false charade meant to humble you, a ploy by the Desians." His eyes flitting over the confused faces. "Instead of kneeling at the feet of this man, you should be working to rebuild your lives."

She could tell they were hesitant, uncertain to trust this stranger. At least, until she called out from the crowd...

"Chosen? Is that you? Lloyd as well!"

Colette blinked, startled to see a young woman shouldering her way through the faces. Her dark hair was pulled back, but strands hung loose about her face. Exhaustion seemed to vanish as a bright smile filled her face and eyes.

"Aisha...?" Colette blinked as the woman came forth, grasping her hands tightly within her own.

"Oh Chosen! It must be a blessing that you came. I felt utterly ridiculous when you departed all those years ago and I knew nothing of who you were! But Harley and Linar made it clear after! Have you come to bless us with your help once more!"

The quiet murmurings didn't nothing to stop the color from rising to her cheeks. Her hands gently tightened about Aisha's reassuring the young woman, regardless of her own guilt. She shoved it away, wishing to at least relieve the anixeties of one person in the city.

"Of course. Lloyd and I both came to do what we can. But please, Aisha...I am not the Chosen anymore, call me Colette."

The momentary uncertainty and embarrassment flickered on the woman's face, but it quickly vanished with a frown. "Yes, I have heard that you...failed your journey. I suppose you had your reasons, but I will never forget how you all went out of your way to spare my own life. I can forgive you at least-"

"Forgive? Woman, do you not comprehend the sin she has committed? She has abandoned the world in her selfishness, to pursue a wild fancy of her own! She may have saved your life, but what of the life of the world?" The young priest had risen, a hand to the side of his nose. Dried blood smeared his pale features, contorted with his anger.

"I-" Aisha frowned, uncertain, but her grip on Colette's hands never lessened.

"No, Aisha. Please don't defend me and cause a fight. He is right. I didn't fulfill my duty as a Chosen." She frowned turning to the priest. "But I implore you to allow me to aid in helping the world in anyway that I can. I have not given up on it, even though I never completed my journey. I still want to help-"

"Help?" This didn't come from the priest, but from a younger boy, no more than twelve. He reminded her a great deal of Genis in his demeanour. His hair a dark brown, over blue eyes as he looked up at her. "Couldn't you finish the Journey? Couldn't you just keep going?"

She would have broken down, had his words not clenched her heart. How they seemed to echo her own endless inquiries on her lonely days in hiding. It had been such a simple question with a complicated answer. But it was only complicated to her. She was the one of a selective few that new the true meaning of that journey, of the meaning to finish it.

"Enough of this! Leave her be. I couldn't imagine what it'd be like to be in her shoes!And yet she is still trying to help." Aisha twisted around, hands on her hips as she scolded the others.

"Do you want to leave?" Colette felt him take her elbow gently, her head turning to look up at him. He seemed troubled and ashamed, his anger no doubt simmering under his regained control.

But before she could answer, Aisha had turned. "No, please. Don't go yet. If they don't want your help here, perhaps the other side of the city could use your aid. I saw you, Lloyd right? Casting magic on the priest, healing that injury you gave him. Oh, you have no need to apologize! He most likely deserved it. Please, come with me."

She once again clasped Colette's hand in her own, leading her away through the crowd. A glance back told her that Lloyd was following close behind and the looks of the crowd and priest a mix of contempt and faint hope.

* * *

One would think the little Aurion home in Luin would be quiet. Sheena and Zelos were absent, the latter insisting the former needed to try a specific type of spiked cake he had seen displayed on a cart between the inn and the home. Genis had claimed Presea, whisking her out for a walk around the lake. Raine was certain her brother was simply trying to make up for the time she had been absent. She swore the boy was too possessive of the young girl, but perhaps he'd settle down after time.

So it was she was left to watch over the real immature companions. Three elderly men, one would think there would be at least a little wisdom to direct them between the three. If she had to choose one, it would be Frank. Colette's father had a more gentle calm about the situation, though, in a more sly way, taking advantage of the quarrel between the other two.

It was obvious, in concerning their grandson, Kratos and Dirk could not come to a understanding.

"Ya have had a lot mor' chances to see 'im than aye." the dwarf's gruff voice argued.

"I hardly think that is my fault. In any case, Lloyd left Leon in my responsbility in his absence. I think it'd be wise to leave him within Luin, where it is safe."

"Safe? Aye hardly think there coul' be a safer place than mah own cave. I'll be asking Lloyd himself when the little lad will be coming to stay." The dwarf folded his arms, undaunted by his smaller stature compared to Kratos.

The latter seemed to be in a interal conflict about continuing the debate and keeping a close eye on Leon who gurgled happily in Frank's arms. Raine could only shake her head, closing her book with a snap.

"I honestly think you two have lost your complete sense. Do you honestly think Lloyd will deny either of you time with Leon?"

Kratos immediately cleared his throat and took a seat near the window, contenting himself to looking out the window with a scowl threatening to crack the glass. Let him growl at his own reflection, Raine thought with exasperation.

Dirk, too, seemed to gather himself, but rather shuffled his way over to Frank, his white teeth flashing within his beard again, eyes nearly squinting shut as his cheeks rose up.

"Nah, Miss Sage is right o' course. Ya, Dad would neva leave anyone out in ya life. Would just as rightly stay away himself before trying that, aye Kratos?"

Raine quietly watched the exchanged between the two fathers, bother understanding the weight of Dirk's words. Even Raine understood them. It was neither an insult, nor a compliment. Merely an acknowledging fact, one that Kratos would share with his son.

"Indeed."

She shook her head again, but this time allowing an exasperated smile to form as she reopened her book. It was amazing, how such a tiny baby-though not for much longer-could steal and situated itself in so many different hearts. Blessed, to be sure, with Colette's charsimatic personality. Even Raine could never forget the first time she saw the young girl, the warm flash of a smile and sparkle from her large blue eyes and you were drawn into her presence.

She wondered though, how differently her son would be, for although Colette was friendly to everyone she met, she had kept many of them at arms length. Even as a child.

Perhaps then, Raine mused, casting a glance at the babe, Leon would take after his father. Not his current personality, but the one he had as a child, so determined and idealistic. She scolded herself gently, reminding herself the struggle Lloyd still had at trying to welcome back those qualities. She was proud that he had managed to find at least a small piece of that fire again.

Leon gurgled again, his chubby hand full of Dirk's beard as the dwarf struggled to free it from the sticky grip. All three men were chuckling, even Dirk. Their amusment only encouraged an enthused babble from the baby and a second hand quickly joined the first in grasping the hairy mass above him.

For the next several minutes, Raine forgot her book as she watched Frank try to free Dirk from Leon's relentless grip, the victim wincing as a few of the hairs were pulled out, and Kratos merely smirked and chuckled in subtle satisfaction.

* * *

The further into Asgard they got, the more damage there seemed to be. Buildings were nothing more than erect shells of frail coal, trembling at the slight breeze. Every few moments, one could hear the crumbling of a beam, bursting into a cloud of ash and gray dust.

He didn't dare turn his eyes away from it, didn't dare allow himself the relief of seeing the destruction. He accepted it as his own, his own punishment-very little in comparison to those that lived here...

Little remained of the proud windmills. Only one still spun, slowly guided by the wind's hand, only to rock back the other way as the breeze died, tattered cloth dangling from the frame. As they drew near the arch, Lloyd's eyes rose to the hub of Asgard, the dias resting high above the city. Nothing stirred upon the plateau and, to his surprise, it was untouched.

For a twisted moment, he nearly laughed, imagining his old teacher, sprinting across the distance towards the dias. He wondered if she had considered that it may have been endangered. Tha tangent of thought flow gradually made him recall the 'unstoppable breaker' that Linar and Harley had built. Years ago...so many years ago...

"Lloyd?"

He looked over, noticing the women waiting, Colette's anxious gaze questioning. But he merely turned towards them, following them to the inner residents of the city. His eyes noticed the debris and remains of the structures on the upper plateau. He clearly recalled the large mansion like house on the upper left of the plateau. There had been an elderly woman living there, a handful of maids constantly cleaning the rooms, scruntinized by their watchful mistress.

He shook his head, frowning as he noticed the house that should have been Aisha and Linar's. It was gone, not even the structure remained, instead a rubbled heap of smoking ash and coal.

"Please, do not look so grave. Everyone suffered losses that day." Aisha had turned, standing instead at the home carved beneath their's. Harley's home, if he recalled. "It was fortunate that Linar and I were out for a walk when it happened, we took shelter here when the angels came..." she trailed off, emotion betraying the casual way she spoke. "Please come inside."

Colette didn't hesitate, close behind the young woman, but Lloyd lingered, his gaze looking at the smouldering heap at the top of the stairs, parallel to the image of the Sages' home, burning red hot, Genis' pale face-

He stepped forward, stooping through the door, closing it with a firm push and shutting the memories out.

"Linar, you wouldn't believe who I came across." Aisha smiled as she entered.

From the back room a shaggy, dark haired young man appeared, an armload of boxes filled with food and supplies. His dark eyes blinked behind his glasses, nearly perched on the tip of his nose. He scrunched his nose in a failed effort to bring them back up.

"Who is it, Aisha?"

"Why it's the Chosen of Mana! Well, Colette now. And Lloyd. You remember him don't you? The boy that stopped you and Harley from destorying the dias?"

Colette smiled warmly, "It's a relief to see you in good health, Linar.

The young man blinked, his eyes owlish as he stepped closer, the boxes slipping from his hands. "The chosen-oh no-"

Lloyd stepped forward, grasping the edge of the box. "Careful."

Linar blinked, his eyes even larger, if possibly as he wordlessly stared up at Lloyd. Then in a fumbling motion he lowered the box, fingers pressing his glasses up as he stared. "Well, I'll be... Lloyd-I can hardly recognize you. And the Chosen-Colette, you said? Years. It's been years... how many, five? No, more than that-"

"Linar, just calm down." Aisha laughed, shaking her head.

"Oh, yes of course." Fingers caught his slipping glasses again. "So, long...I'm sorry to hear about the Journey, I was certain you'd make it. After your display of skills at the dias."

Lloyd frowned, glancing at Colette, but she was smiling warmly. He couldn't tell whether or not it was forced. Still, he longed to change the subject. "May we sit?"

"Oh, of course. How rude of me!" Aisha hurried, pushing a few crates and stools near one another. Colette immediately went to her side, lending her strength for the exhausted woman. Lloyd moved to help when Linar stepped before him, once more peering up at him.

"My goodness, you must be...over six feet? You were barely taller than myself. Oh pardon me, I was going to ask if you could give me a hand with these boxes. I was moving them into the root cellar."

Lloyd nodded, bending and lifting them easily. He tried to ignore the amazed look at the little scholar before him. "Where is it?"

"Oh! Yes, follow me. I've ben storing many of the supplies away, perishables especially. There are number of people who'll need them once the construction gets underway. The aid from Luin that came in earlier this morning was a blessing to be sure, but we have no place to put all the supplies." he sighed heavily, leading him into the back room.

Lloyd cast his eye about the cave, frowning slightly. "I'm sure they are grateful towards Harley storing it here."

Linar stopped, his back hunched over the opened hole in the floor. Lloyd could see the sudden droop in his shoulders and heard the quiet sigh. "Yes, I'm sure they are."

He waited until they had carried the boxes below, carefully stacking them to one side before remerging, the wooden panel set into place.

"Did he not survive?"

Linar seemed to twitch like a startled rabbit, his face paled drastically and his trembling fingers pushed his glasses up again. "No...not exactly."

He hunched his head down again, hurrying from the room, much to Lloyd's irritation. He followed quietly, watching the young man whispering in his sister's ear. Aisha's eyes lifted to Lloyd's then lowered and she motioned for him to sit.

"You've been asking about Harley."

Colette glanced up at Lloyd as he seated himself, then back at Aisha. "I was curious as to where he is. He wasn't hurt was he?"

Linar seemed to withdraw like a turtle into his shell, an expression of anguish on his face. "It was my fault."

"Hush, not Linar. We both know that you are not to blame for this. We are both responsible."

"What do you mean? What happened?" Colette looked between then anxiously.

Aisha took a deep breath, as if gathering herself together. "Before the angels attacked, they just flooded the city."

Despite his impatience, Lloyd remained silent, watching her twist her fingers.

"It was only a couple days before. Linar and I were out walking with Harley. It was almost as if...as if they had been waiting right outside the city. They just moved in. We didn't realize it until they had swarmed the gate-"

"Who did?" Colette quietly urged.

"The Desians," Linar answered, lifting his eyes to look above his rims. "They just marched in. Everyone just fled, no one was prepared to fight-"

"Some did. But they were struck down so quickly." Aisha corrected him. "It was chaos. It was the middle of the day, even the children were out playing." She shook her head, taking another deep breath. "Harley grabbed my hand and we tried to run. But the road was so crowded. Instead of following it, he cut to the side and went into one of the caves, I can't remember which one... There were already a bunch of people inside. Harley told me to get near the back, but Linar wasn't with us. We had lost him back on the road."

"I couldn't keep up." Linar murmured. "Someone hit me and I fell over."

"Harley went back out, told me to wait inside. But by then the Desians were coming up. I was terrified they'd kill him, so I ran to the entrance. I watched him reach Linar, standing over him with his sword out."

"He kept kicking me with his foot until I got up and stumbled over to where Aisha was. The Desians wouldn't approach him. They were almost amused as he backed up, staying between us and them." Linar rubbed his arm. "If I hadn't tripped, maybe he would have still-"

"Did they kill him?"

Aisha lifted her eyes to meet Lloyd's. They were hard and intense, her hands clenched on her lap as she practically glared at him. "If I tell you, will you judge him? Will you put him in league with them? Because he's not. He's Harley, he's our friend, he's my-..." She swallowed, shaking a bit, from anger or grief, he didn't know.

"Aisha, please. We would never judge someone. Harley was very brave to go and protect Linar. If he died-" Colette reached and gripped her hand.

"He didn't die." Linar spoke up.

Colette looked at him in surprise then at Aisha. Lloyd closed his eyes, sighing softly, understanding their hestiation to speak of it.

"Harley...Harley was a half-elf. He never hid it. He was proud of who he was." Aisha spoke softly. "I don't know whether to believe it a blessing or a curse. But they didn't kill him. Ever since the ranch was rebuilt, they lack men-"

"Rebuilt?" Lloyd frowned.

"Yes, a few years ago. Because they had so few soldiers, we managed to fight them off, but this time, they surprised us." Aisha explained quietly. "They needed new hosts and soldiers."

"And they took, Harley," Linar finished quietly.

Colette shook her head, then reached over, pulling the woman into a hug. Linar just stared at his feet, guilt and shame on his features. Lloyd understood what he was feeling, but he couldn't find the words to console him. Instead, he turned his focus to the ground, his mind's eye already remembering the damned place. Kvar's ranch, rebuilt. But who was the new Cardinal? Who was in charge? He frowned, wishing he had access to the information he once had while in Cruxis. But that was gone. He'd have to question Yuan about it. He needed information, there had to be a connection between the Desians appearance and then the angels attack. And if Yuan couldn't get that information, the he'd go to the ranch himself.

**Review Please.**


	49. Chapter 49

**Listening to **Pieces by Red. ** So been a hectic couple of weeks. Coming to the end of the first semester of university already, time just flies by. I managed to sneak sometime in between my projects without feeling too guilty. I have so much planned for this and no time to write. Thank you everyone for you awesome reviews and patience. It's always reassuring and inspiring. Hope you all enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 49:**

"What do you mean stop making the pacts? We just started. You said it-"

Lloyd sighed, lifting his hand, eyes closed. Sheena's lips pinched tightly as she hugged herself. The wind was chilled, blowing off the lake as they stood near the docks. He looked skyward, the grey clouds tumbling within themselves as they surfed the wind. It probably wouldn't lead to a storm.

"It's a temporary postponement." Lloyd lowered his gaze to the unsettled lake.

"Why?" She paused for a moment, her abrupt tone softening. "Was it worse? In Asgard? Raine told us. She was so mad when she found you both gone. You should have waited for us. We could have helped."

"I doubt you would have been anymore welcomed than us. The city is coping. We drew attention to ourselves," Lloyd answered. "Yggdrasill is more than likely to be aware of the pact-making and Yuan said he's becoming impatient."

"So that's it then?" Sheena asked quietly. "Are you going to take them and run?"

"It's crossed my mind," he admitted. It had many times, since he first heard the angel attacks. To attack Asgard, so close. Was it possible Yggdrasill knew their location? Was it merely a warning, or was he merely basing it on the location of the pact-makings? But even as he considered taking his son and Colette and disappearing, he knew it wouldn't work. Hadn't his father done the same thing? His stomach twisted to even consider the similarities.

Sheena hadn't spoken, no doubt respecting his own silence. His eyes shifted to her, shivering in the damp wind, her dark bangs sweeping across her eyes as she stared across the water.

"They've rebuilt the Asgard Ranch," he said, breaking the silence.

It caught her attention.

"Before the angels attack Asgard, the Desians raided it first. They took a lot of victims as new hosts. Those left faced Yggdrasill's angels."

"We can't just leave it running. That's why you suggested we stop the pacts then. We need to deal with the ranch. Destroy it before it gets completely revived!" Sheena clenched a fist, her dark eyes furious.

"It was part of the reason yes. I'm just not sure how to go about it."

"Just like the last time." Sheena smirked. "We're older, stronger now. They won't stand a chance, especially against you. We can even ask Kratos to help-"

"It's too dangerous. We don't even know who is operating it. How the security is set-up, how many soldiers they already-What?" He paused, frowning.

Her laughter was touched with bitterness. "He really did influence you, didn't he? While you were up there. Kratos, I mean." She glanced over, smirking. "Back when we were going to fight Kvar-any of the Desian Cardinals, really-you just charged right in. You didn't care...I guess it was reckless and dangerous. It's just..."

"I have a family to think about," Lloyd countered curtly.

"And what about before? Genis and Colette? Didn't you think about them? I know I wasn't exactly someone to worry about right then. You had just met me-Anyway, are you saying you weren't think about them?"

"I relied on instinct then, it was foolish and dangerous. I can't just-"

"What about you and Genis, going to the Iselia Ranch." Her smile tightened, her arms folding neatly against her chest. "You can't tell me you were thinking ahead when you two barged in there by yourselves to save Chocolat."

"That was different-"

"How?"

"I knew who I was fighting. What to expect? What is it you want me to do? Rush in there, swinging my swords like I did as a teenager?!"

He snapped and the way, her face hardened, turning from him, was enough for him to draw back. He swallowed his impatience, his anger, taking a deep breath.

"He wasn't all that bad you know? You seem to hate him. Afraid of him, or something. I don't know why. I'm glad that I met you back then, instead of now," she hesitated, scanning the water thoughtfully. "Sometimes I think that if I hadn't, if I had met you as you are now, you would have killed me. Just like Kratos wanted to, instead of becoming my friend." She turned to him, but he kept his eyes ahead. "I don't hate him. He's the one that saw me for what I was. A cowardly, clumsy assassin scared to do her job."

When he didn't answer, she turned and stopped. "There is nothing wrong with who you are, Lloyd, but there is nothing wrong with you were either. Just... just remember that, okay?"

He glanced at her departing figure, hunched against the bitterness of the weather. Zelos waited on the road, his red hair whipping about as he put his arm about her. Lifting his eyes beyond them, he could make out the faint light of their home. It was welcoming and, in the beginning, Lloyd couldn't wait to go back to its warmth.

But that desire was gone for the time being. Salt had been sprinkled in the wound and he had no wish to face those that would add to it. In any case, Colette would understand his absence a bit longer. The travel to Triet would give him time to think.

* * *

"No."

"Somehow I knew that would be your response." Lloyd stepped across the threshold, the door sliding shut behind him. He brazenly shook the water from his cloak, taking satisfaction from Yuan's scowl. "You don't even know why I'm here."

"I'm not naive, Lloyd. Any time you enter my office, you seem to desire something of late. Usually something I'd rather not get involved with. So the answer is no."

Lloyd smirked, stepping across the room. His eyes drifted to the obscure painting displayed on the wall behind the desk. "The city had more beauty back then. What was it called in your time?"

Yuan didn't follow his gaze. "You've been to Asgard then. They should be able to rebuild, if that is your concern. Supplies are already making their way-"

"You really care about it. Dad said you were from there."

"What do you want?"

"Who is in charge of the Asgard Ranch."

Yuan frowned, leaning back. "It's running then?"

"Now this is a surprise. I have information you don't?" Lloyd smirked, seating himself in a chair. "The Desians from the ranch apparently attacked Asgard a few days before the angels did. They took hostages. I want to know who is in charge and what kind of security they have. But obviously I'm asking the wrong network."

Yuan scowled, frowning. "I am perfectly aware that the Asgard Ranch was being rebuilt, we had been monitoring it for a number of months. But the last report from our inside man didn't give any indication they were preparing an attack."

"Then your man is either inexperience, or it was a spontaneous action. You must know who the new cardinal is then?"

Yuan frowned. "Incidentally, we don't. A second-in-command, hardly bearing that much authority of threat gives the orders. The actually leader has been discrete and unnamed. No one in the ranch even knows who it is."

"What would be the advantage of that?" Lloyd frowned. "Have you approached Yggdrasill about it?"

"You ask so casually," Yuan scoffed. "What makes you think that man would divulge that information so easily. He already finds me suspicious. I do my work and avoid antagonizing him. As you should have done, instead of hopping down the rabbit hole."

Twitching, Lloyd didn't miss the amused smirk on Yuan's lowered head. "Will you ever let that go?"

"No. Raine seems curious about the concept of bunnies as well. Why haven't you shared that little anecdote with them? It'll be a wonderful story to tell your son when he's older I'm sure."

"I can think of a few other things that would amuse them. Raine seems to be a quite frequent companion of the ranch by the sounds of it."

"We share information. I hardly see the amusement in that," Yuan responded flatly.

Lloyd smirked, but looked to the side, frowning slowly. "I suppose that path is the only one left."

"I'll assume you mean the ranch."

"It's dangerous."

"Undoubtedly."

"I'd be going in blind."

"As a bat," he tapped a stack of papers.

"It's foolish," Lloyd frowned standing, one hand gripping the back of the chair, his back to Yuan.

"But then, that's what has always made you dangerous, isn't it? Probably the thing that Yggdrasill feared the most about you." A draw clicked shut. "After all, how predictable can an idiot be?"

* * *

"You're an idiot."

"I'm going to start taking that as a compliment," Lloyd smirked, running a hand through Leon's lengthening hair. It was less fuzz now, though it still seemed to stick out all over the place. He rocked gently in the chair, ignoring Raine's scolding glare as he teasingly tugged the rattle in Leon's grasp.

"And what if something goes wrong? What if it's a trap? If they aren't revealing the leader, perhaps Yggdrasill himself is giving the orders? Have you even considered that?"

"Yes. But it's unlikely."

"Why is that?"

"He wouldn't waste his time setting traps and waiting to see if I'll come. Firstly, because only an idiot would go into a situation like that." Lloyd lifted his eyes."And, apparently, I'm not an idiot."

"Yes you are."

"Yggdrasill doesn't know that."

"And what's your second reason?" Raine demanded, her irritation building.

"If he knew where I was, he'd just come for me."

Leon gurgled happily, the rattle clasped tightly in his hands, the ball of it half submerged in a gummy embrace. Lloyd smiled gently, watching his son.

"Fine, do as you will. I suppose you won't listen to me regardless." Raine finally spoke, moving across the room.

Lloyd raised his gaze, watching her retrieve her bag. "You know I do, I just don't always follow your advice."

She gave him a withering glance before shutting the door behind her. He chuckled slightly, looking back down at Leon. "I still manage to exasperate her."

"She means well." He glanced up to see Colette stepping towards him. "And I agree with her , Lloyd. You shouldn't go."

He should have known she'd be listening.

"I don't really have a choice."

She didn't respond immediately, instead she walked behind the chair, looking over his shoulder at their son. Leon's eyes lit up at the sight of his mother, a small hand grasping at the air, a gurgle of incoherent words.

"He's getting so big."

"He'll be ready to crawl soon. He was trying the other day." Colette smiled. "You should stay, I don't want you to miss it-"

"Don't do that."

She fell silent again, her hand reaching down, brushing Leon's hair back before withdrawing. "He never cries with you. I've never seen him cry when you hold him."

"Perhaps he's just a quiet baby," Lloyd glanced up at her as she moved to the sofa, curling her legs beneath her. She was barefoot, her hand playing with her loosened hair.

"He can be quite loud when he wants to."

She looked tired and he felt ashamed, suddenly. He rose from the rocking chair and made his way over to the couch, sitting beside her. Leon watched his parents with large eyes, giving the wet rattle a small jerk.

"I don't have to go right away."

"You weren't going to tell me. Were you?" She turned her eyes to him.

"No."

"Why? Lloyd, you have to tell me about your plans-"

"And make you worry needlessly."

She frowned, a guilty expression crossing her face. "Is this because of the Journey? That I lied to you-"

He sighed, shifting Leon in his arms more. "No. I know why you never told me. I'd never hold that against you."

She leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder, her hands slipping under his arm, hugging him. "I'm scared. Every time you leave, I'm terrified you won't come back again. I'm scared Yggdrasill will find you and take you back up there. And I'm...I'm stuck here, unable to help you and all this started because of me and I can't even-"

"Colette."

She fell silent, gripping his arm tightly and he sighed, laying his head atop hers, kissing her hair lightly. "It's not your fault. It never was. It's a decision I made a long time ago and one you helped me remember. Without you, I'd still be trapped in that room. Until you saw me and spoke my name, I was still trapped in that room."

Leon gurgled happily, his small hands abandoning the rattle to tug at Lloyd's thumb, trying to lean forward and get it in his mouth. Lloyd smiled weakly, wiggling it back and forth, feeling the tiny hand grasp all the tighter.

"I'll always come back. That's a promise I'll make and one that I'll keep." Lloyd raised his eyes to her."

"I know. I'm sorry."

She curled up against him, her head against his neck, a hand brushing over their son's head. Lloyd closed his eyes, laying his head upon hers again, listening to their son babble.

* * *

"Presea, do you think we should leave?"

Genis' seemed hunched over, his hands clasped around the edge of the bed firmly, eyes fastened on the ground. He had been upset since she had returned. She had assumed it was because she had left without warning and alone. Perhaps she was wrong.

"Why do you want to leave, Genis?" she carefully folded her shirt, placing it in the dresser drawer. It was always important to fold clean laundry immediately after being washed to reduce wrinkles. Her eyes lifted to Genis. "Genis will you help me with the clothes?"

He pushed up, rubbing his neck as he walked over to the small table, picking up one of his own shirts. "It's not that I want to leave, I was asking if we should."

"Why do you think we should?"

"We aren't really needed anymore."

She paused, lifting her gaze to him. She could tell by the sound of his voice that he was unhappy about it. Studying his face she nodded slightly, looking back down. "Because Lloyd and Kratos are there?"

"Yeah."

Presea remained silent, unsure of what to say. She had known that as soon as the baby was born. With Leon there, the chances of Lloyd and Kratos both being away at the same time were slim. Still, she didn't want to leave just yet. She enjoyed playing with Leon, it reminded her of Alicia, when she was little.

"Presea?"

"I don't think we should leave. Unless there is somewhere you'd like to go?" She looked up at him.

He hesitated and then shook his head in frustration. "No, not really. I just hate... I don't like how we're ignored. I mean, Dirk and Frank wouldn't be here without you and no one really acknowledges us anymore. Everything is about Leon now."

"He is cute."

Genis blinked, looking at her in surprise and she felt her cheeks turn hot. She kept her eyes down, but could feel him staring at her.

"Not you too."

"You don't think so?"

"Well, I mean, yeah he is. He's a baby. But he's taking all the attention. And Lloyd is-Lloyd is only ever around Leon when he comes back. Haven't you noticed that? He walks in the room and the first thing he does is pick the kid up."

"Perhaps he just misses him."

"He's spoiling him."

Presea smiled gently, setting her shirt down to look at him. "Genis, are you jealous?"

His face turned scarlet and he snatched a pair of pants from the pile, glaring at them viciously. "I'm not jealous. Why would I be jealous? I mean, it's not like Lloyd paid much attention to us before anyway."

"You miss him."

His motions slowed, his face softening as he lined up the edges of the cloth, smoothing it with his hand. "I thought...maybe he was coming back. You know? Like how he used to be. But he's not. I mean, he's just a jerk anymore, not as much anyway. But he's still different. He's a father now, and has a wife. He's just... old now."

Presea set her shirt down and stepped around the table beside him. She had to tilt her head back slightly to look up at him. He glanced sideways at her, his pale cheeks flushed with color. She took his hand.

"You are older now too, Genis. As am I. Everyone grows up. Time...does not stop for anyone, or anything. It is wrong to wish for the past when there is good in the present." She smiled gently. "That is what you taught me. That is what I believe now. I believe that you are still important to Lloyd, even now that he is older."

"Presea, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Maybe you just need to talk to Lloyd. Just you and him without Leon as a distraction. I could go with you and stay with Colette while you talk with him."

He regarded her for a minute, then flashed a smile, gently poking her nose. "You just want to see Leon, don't you?"

Presea once more felt her face flush hot, but she didn't deny it. She didn't agree either.

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	50. Chapter 50

**Listening to **Fight Inside by Red**. Only one more day left of classes, then two exams and I'm on holidays. It'll be such a relief to have nothing (productive) to do for a change. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers. Appreciated as always to hear from you. Hope you enjoy the chapter. Sorry in advance for it being rather short. **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 50: **

"This is beginning to become a bit of a tradition isn't it?"

It was drizzling; more like a mist that seemed to hover around them. Genis brushed the back of his hand across his face, wiping the droplets clear of his eyes as they walked through the forest. Lloyd gave him an acknowledging glance, but didn't comment. In perfect honesty, he wasn't particularly happy that Genis came along.

"Do you think he'll be a victim?"

This time Lloyd released a sigh, slowing his pace so Genis could draw level with him. "It's a possibility."

"But he is a half-elf. Do you think they would do that to a kin-"

"I don't know, Genis."

Genis' expression tightened, falling quiet as they walked and Lloyd released a heavy breath. "It's a possibility. That's all I know. That's why I didn't want you to come along. I don't know anything for certain on this-"

"And that's why Colette thought it was a good idea," Genis countered quickly. "Do you really think that going in alone was smart?"

"Yuan seemed to think it'd work fine."

Genis scowled deeply, "As if I'd trust anything that jerk said. I can't believe you and Raine trust him. Especially after it was basically his fault."

Lloyd blinked, looking over at his friend. "Yuan's fault?"

"When you were taken. If he hadn't set up that stupid trap, we could have been out of there before Kratos and Pronyma showed up. If that idiot hadn't been there at all, everything would be-..."

"Would be what?"

"Forget it." Genis frowned, looking ahead. "The point is, if you are going to be an idiot, you need to have someone smart enough to watch your back."

"Like when we saved Marble?" Lloyd offered, brushing a branch out of his path.

Genis glanced at him then smiled weakly. "Yeah, like that. Though, I kind of messed things up for you that day, huh?"

Lloyd shrugged. "It probably would have turned out the same. They had security cameras."

"Oh, right." He hunched his shoulders. "It seems so long ago."

"It was."

The ranch began to take form in the haze, shrouded in shadows from the trees as well. It was hardly anything remarkable, the construction of it was still obvious, however, any weakness that may offer was averted by the amount of guards patrolling the walls and grounds outside.

"We aren't going to be able to get in," Genis murmured beside him. "If we fight, we'll attract too much attention."

Lloyd frowned, studying the patrols, moved back, Genis following him quietly. "We'll circle it. Perhaps there is another entrance like in the first design."

They made their path wide, remaining nearly out of view of the ranch. All the nearby trees had been removed, though there were a number of shrubs and bushes now filling in the cleared space. Their pants were soaked as they continues to move through foliage.

"Are you ever going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

His hesitation last longer than Lloyd liked and he finally paused to glance back at him. Genis lifted his eyes from the ground, a sudden decision made within his mind.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened up there? On Derris Kharlan."

Lloyd stared at him, the light drip of the rain off the leaves of the forest suddenly much louder. He could hear the muffled conversations from the direction of the ranch.

Genis didn't falter, his gaze locked with Lloyd's, his expression blank for once. "Are you?"

Lloyd turned suddenly and resumed walking. "No."

He didn't hear Genis follow him right away, but he didn't slow or stop. Now was not the time to have this conversations-he never was going to have this conversation.

"Don't you trust me? You can tell Colette, but not me?"

Lloyd refused to respond, hearing Genis' hurried footsteps, the smack of leaves against his running legs. His eyes turned towards the ranch, peering through the gaps in the trees. But Genis rushed up before him, his hand slamming against Lloyd's chest, stopping him.

"We're not having his conversation, Genis."

The half-elf's eyes narrowed slightly, his hand pulling back, but he planted his feet squarely before Lloyd, crossing his arms. "Why?"

Lloyd took a breath. "Because it's not something you need to know right now, nor in the future. It's in the past. It's not important-"

"Is that how you see the past then? Unimportant. We both know that's a lie. I know you do give a damn about us, so stop pretending you don't think about the past. You do it all the time." Genis frowned, hesitating. "I just don't know whether you want to or not."

"I'm not telling you about Welgaia, Genis."

"Colette, says that she can't tell me. She said that she promised you she wouldn't tell. We're best friends, aren't we? Why can't you tell me-"

"That's exactly why." Lloyd cut him off, frowning. "Leave it alone, Genis."

"I won't!"

Lloyd frowned and tried to step around him, but Genis was there in perfect step. Once more, the startling realization that Genis no longer needed to look up, not really anyway, came to focus. His one hand gripped the long spear firmly, no doubt considering using force to get what he wanted. Lloyd sighed and rubbed his eyes before looking into the forest.

"Can it wait until after we are finished here?" Lloyd turned his gaze back to his Genis. There was obvious hesitation, suspicion hovering behind the blue eyes.

"You promise you'll tell me?"

"I'm not promising anything. I said can we talk about it later? Or do you want the Desians finding us quarrelling out here in the rain."

His face tightened, but Genis finally relented, stepping back, glaring towards the ranch. "I was thinking of leaving the area. With Presea." He hesitated, one foot scuffing the ground, disturbing the sodden leaves.

Lloyd scanned him, waiting, but Genis just turned and started walking from him. After a moment, Lloyd followed him slowly.

* * *

"As I understand it, they were last seen in Asgard."

"Was that the reason for the angelic invasion?" Yuan asked, brushing a hand across his sleeve, lifting his hardened eyes.

"They are making the pacts. It was a necessary precaution."

"You mean warning."

He smiled then, his jade eyes settling on him. Yuan frowned slightly, but met the gaze. He was hardly frightened of the man. But it was unsettling.

"What do you know of their whereabouts, Yuan?" He rose smoothly from his seat.

"You mean Lloyd."

"I mean any of them."

Yuan rolled his shoulders, arms folding beneath his cape. "No more than you. They are making the pacts it appears, as you said. Where they are? I haven't an idea. They could be very well on their way to the next one as we speak."

"Lloyd trusts you. He has approached you, hasn't he?" Those eyes found him again.

"I hardly think Lloyd trusts anyone."

"Just Kratos."

"Perhaps."

A smile. "This is rather bothersome, Yuan. You are fond of the boy, but are you more fond of him or your fiance?" The smile never reached the jaded eyes.

Yuan narrowed his eyes, refusing to glance upwards where the seed floated. "I don't know where he is."

"Then perhaps you should find him? I'm rather tired of waiting and the cities are expendable. Not everyone will die after all. Just enough," he said candidly, turning his back, gaze lifting. "I will not have him disrupting my sister's revival again. Is that understood?"

Yuan kept his silence, bowing his head slightly with a sigh. He shut out the soft, green glow of the room, of the crazed man before him. He turned swiftly, the irritation writhing within him.

"Oh and Yuan?"

He paused, if only to humor Yggdrasill. "What?"

"If you see Kratos, tell him I wish to speak with him about his son's behaviour."

Yuan turned, eyes on Yggdrasill's back, suspicion rising. Was he aware? He had to be. It had been months since Kratos' desertion. Yuan frowned further, tensing as he watched the motionless man, before quickly turning with a sweep of his cape, striding from the room.

Of course he knew. It was part of the 'game' he was playing. That's all the world was to Yggdrasill anymore. A game board, with its people as pieces.

* * *

"The offer still stands, Chosen."

He opened his eyes to the darkness of the room. A hand curled about the hilt beside him, eyes glancing towards the corner of the room. He knew that voice.

"Been a while since a strange woman has appeared in my bedroom."

"We are hardly strangers, Chosen One."

He scoffed, rubbing his nose with his thumb. "Estranged then."

"We can play word games, or you can give me your answer. Has your sister lost importance over the years?"

He narrowed his gaze toward the shadow, her amusement drawing a scowl to his face. "You have had my answer, more than once. I'm done."

"Hmm...if that is the case, then I shall create a new offer."

"I said I'm-"

"How important is the Summoner to you? You share a bed after all now? Must be why you are so timid around strange women in your bedroom."

He pushed up, sword freed from its sheath. The bed shifted beneath his weight as he smirked. "Is someone jealous?"

"The Summoner has become a bit of a problem it seems. If the pact making continues, there is no question she must be...stopped." She paused. "Of course, there is another alternative."

Zelos didn't respond, the grip on his sword tightened. He could kill her, easily enough. But if she knew he was here, who else did? How much did they know? Damn, he shouldn't have let Sheena go out alone.

"Give us...information, about the Chosen of Sylvarant. Or even Lloyd. Either one is more than sufficient. In exchange, we'll let the Summoner carry on with her little pact-making if she wishes. A fair exchange don't you think?"

Zelos smirked, lowering his head, pushing off the bed. "I suppose so. Though, thrusting my sword through your stomach and twisting seems like a better idea to me."

"I'll give you time to think about it, Chosen."

He lunged, but metal thudded against the wood, the lingering mana in the air made him cruse, slamming his fist into the wall.

"Zelos?"

He turned toward the doorway. Sheena stood, a frown marring her cute face as she glanced around the room, lowering a bag on the table. "Zelos, what are you doing? Why are the lights off Did something happen?"

He took a breath, sliding his sword into it's sheath, stepping over to her. His arms slipped around her slowly, drawing her close, his chin resting atop her head. He closed his eyes to the shadows, sighing deeply. "Nothing. Just a nightmare.

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	51. Chapter 51

**Listening to **Catch my Breath by Kelly Clarkson**. So holidays weren't exactly relaxing. Rather than giving me time to write, it completely erased my motivation; family drama does that. But, I finally managed to find it again and finish this chapter, though it is a bit short. So hopefully the inspiration stays this time and I'll update more often, university work pending of course. I hope you all enjoy the chapter. Thanks for your reviews and patience, as always, means a lot to me.**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 51:**

"You just had to set off the alarm. I thought you were supposed to be the wise one in this situation."

"I bumped it! Just shut up and run!"

The wailing was piercing, and Lloyd grimaced as it reverberated throughout his mind. He glanced over his shoulder, assuring they weren't being followed. Things hadn't exactly gone as expected thus far. They had managed to sneak into the ranch unnoticed and located the control room. The guards had been easily dealt with.

Genis' clumsiness was another matter.

"How did you even bump the alarm?" Lloyd growled, his irritation growing with every wail and flash of red light.

"I was just looking at the controls! Who the hell puts an alarm button in plain view?"

Lloyd sighed, but slowed, glancing around. In hindsight, he wished he had spent the time to try and disconnect the system, but at the time, he figured leaving it active would mask their presence easier. Hide in plain sight if you will.

"So what do we do? Just leave?"

They ducked into a side room, the doors sliding shut, muffling the sound. Lloyd rubbed his temple with one hand, scanning the room. It was a supply room. Boxes and filing cabinets lined the walls, a table laden with unopened packages. Genis manoeuvred toward them, glancing at the labels.

"Just supplies. Guess they are still trying to get set up here." He frowned. "This one is...This one says Asgard on it."

Lloyd glanced over, the muffled alarm still singing beyond the door. The box was opened and he flipped the flaps. "Folders." He drew a handful out. "Old research notes on people from Asgard. Most likely the people taken and experimented on." He released a heavy breath, dropping the files back into the box. "A lot of Kvar's old research was missing, or stolen apparently. Yuan believes he was working with Rodyle. It's possible that information was salvaged and sent here."

"But we killed Rodyle." Genis frowned. "And why would Rodyle have information about Asgard prisoners."

"Kvar was working on the Angelus Project. Why else?" Lloyd flipped the box closed, heading to the door. "Come on, we need to find the Cardinal for this place."

"Wait, Lloyd. Do you think your mother's-"

"She was from Luin. And it doesn't matter. I know what I need to know about her. Stop dawdling."

Genis hurried after him, muttering under his breath, but it was silenced by the scream of the alarm as they slipped through the doors.

It was hard to draw up memories of this place, despite the significant role it played in his life. Kvar and the following fight were the only strong memories Lloyd had of this place. He couldn't tell for sure whether the design was the same or not. It didn't really matter.

They would often draw back against the wall, Lloyd pressing Genis back with a swing of his arm, eyeing the soldiers that would rush through the intersecting hallways. They only ran into a handful of startled soldiers, gaping in stunned silence at sight of Lloyd and Genis. A quick ram of a hilt to both helmets incapacitated them easily.

Genis followed like a shadow, always a couple feet behind, watching their back. A small part of Lloyd felt reassurance, comfort in the fact that he could trust the man at his back.

He stopped when the alarms suddenly ended. The ensuing silence was almost more deafening. The sound still echoed in his ears and he rubbed one warily, scanning the area.

"They've probably organized themselves, or think we've escaped. Either that, or they fear they are going deaf," Genis grinned, wriggling a finger in his ear. "I know I have."

"Only yourself to blame." Lloyd continued to scan the area, drawing upon the mental map he memorized from the control room. "I think we are close."

"Is it like you remembered?" Genis asked as they started forward again. "From back then?"

"I don't know. I don't think about that."

"Yeah, I guess so," Genis glanced at him curiously. "Were you ever jealous or put off?"

"By what?"

"Kratos. Killing Kvar." Genis smirked bitterly. "I had never seen him so angry, the way he just rushed past you and slashed him up...No one thought to ask at the time. I mean, it wasn't like any of us knew he was your dad. That Anna was his wife. So were you jealous that Kratos got the last strike?"

Lloyd frowned, drawing up the memory, watching his father's back. He closed his eyes, trying to block it out. The large back, standing before him, towering and shielding him. Even though he was a teenager back then...for some reason, Kratos always seemed so much taller when he drove that sword through Kvar...

"Not really. He was dying, even before Kratos gave those final strikes. I think a part of me knew that he was avenging something too. It didn't bother me."

"Ironic isn't it? That you were both avenging the same person."

Lloyd nodded. "This is it."

Genis paused, but Lloyd strode forward, his eyes narrowed as the doors slid open. One hand gripped his sword handle expectantly.

His feet stopped in the doorway, frowning as his eyes located a lone soldier standing to one side of the room, fingers tapping upon computer keys.

For a moment, Lloyd thought they had gone unnoticed, but the soldier looked up suddenly, twisting his body to face them, a hand settling on a sword at his hip.

"If you are looking for the Cardinal, you won't find them."

Genis stepped in a moment later, standing next to Lloyd, frowning. "What are you doing in here then?"

The soldier gave a crooked smirk, thumb rubbing along the sword hilt. "A half-elf. Genis Sage, isn't it."

"How do you know my-"

"Who runs this facility?" Lloyd cut in smoothly.

"You know as much as I do. Like I said, they aren't here. So you might as well just leave-"

"I'll decide when I leave or stay" Lloyd replied tersely. "Who gives the orders then?"

The soldier shrugged, glancing at the computer screen, tapping a couple keys.

Genis frowned, glancing at Lloyd. "Lloyd, maybe we should just go-"

The words were left hanging. Lloyd crossed the room, eyes scanning the area as he moved, but narrowing upon the lone man. The soldier glanced at him, hand going to the sword at his side, but not drawing it. Or simply didn't have time. He choked, Lloyd's hand about his throat as he was spun around, feet off the floor, slammed against the console. The helmet clanged loudly as the Desian's head knocked against the machine.

"I'm not leaving until I have some answers."

"Then you are going to be here awhile, because I don't know anything!" the Desian snapped back, dark eyes narrowing within the helmet.

Lloyd frowned, then released him stepping back, letting him gather his air. Something about the voice was familiar. The attitude. Cocky, mocking. Lloyd scanned the man's lower face, the barest sign of facial hair, reflecting the glow from the other consoles.

"You're not a Desian."

"Lloyd?" Genis called up slowly.

"What makes you think that?" The man grunted out, rubbing his throat tenderly. "I look the part don't I?"

"You didn't attack us."

The man snorted slightly, a chuckle rising and falling. "Maybe I'm just not stupid."

Lloyd frowned then stepped forward, the man made to move back, but Lloyd's fingers found the lip of the helmet, throwing it back and off the man's head. He staggered back, the clang of the helmet as it dropped and rolled.

The man scoffed eyes narrowing, jerking back the hood of his uniform, running a hand through the shock of red hair revealed beneath it. "What's your problem?"

"Harley!" Genis exclaimed, rushing over. "You're alive?! You are Harley, right?"

The man turned his gaze towards the half-elf, a crooked smirk made its way to his lips as he scanned the teenager over. "Guess you remembered me after all. You've grown a lot."

Lloyd stepped back a space, watching Genis' expression turn from amazement to a furrowed frown. "What...what are you doing? Why are you working for them?"

The half-elf grimaced, scratching his jaw. "Kid, you know we really don't have a choice, right? As kinsmen? We get a choice, serve or equipped. And trust me, we are sent on a tour of this place. I didn't want to be equipped."

Genis' fist curled tightly about the staff. "So what? You think it's alright to do this to other people? To humans?! How is that-"

"I never said that-"

"We don't have time for this." Lloyd cut in, turning his gaze upon Harley. "Do you have loyalty towards them?"

"What do you think?"

"Then Genis watch the door. I'll be just a moment." He waited, watching Genis listen with grudging reluctance, casting a disgusted and accusing eye toward the older half-elf. He moved toward the door, standing in its entrance, stubbornly keeping his back to the room.

"Temperamental, isn't he?"

Lloyd didn't reply, turning instead to the control panel Harley had abandoned. He scanned the files, searching for something, anything that would indicate who was leading the operation. But it was unknown. He frequently came across the second-in-command's name, but the leader was strictly referred to as 'the Cardinal'.

With a irritated sigh, he proceeded with the final stage of his plan.

"You are going to blow it up?" Harley peered around his arm, scanning the program. Lloyd's fingers clicked rhythmically, his eyes following the screen.

Harley shuffed back a bit, leaning against the desk. "I heard someone did the same thing to the last place/ Didn't really stop them did it? What makes you think it will this time?"

"Because I won't let it be rebuilt this time."

Harley frowned, tilting his head, running a hand, lifting his flattened hair from his scalp. "You're Lloyd aren't you? The kid that stopped that bomb in Asgard?"

"Once upon a time."

The half-elf chuckled. "It seems eons ago. Different time, different...world." He shifted his weight.

Lloyd glanced over as Harley gazed at the uniform, turning his gloved hand about. His mouth was a thin line, his eyes hardened.

"She's waiting for you."

He looked up. "Who-..." A frown creased his features and he smiled bitterly, closing his eyes. "I didn't know if she was...if she would have survived that attack..."

"She did and she is still waiting. You should go to her, she's know where you been and what you've probably done, but it doesn't seem to matter to her." Lloyd turned his gaze back to the console, the final warning flashing upon the screen.

"Isn't it strange? How a man can do something so horrible, that even he is repulsed by his decision, by his choice and yet...a woman can still find it in her to forgive him? Despite everything, despite the cold, truth and reality?"

Lloyd clicked the screen. "Let's go."

"Hey! I haven't-aren't you at least going to let me think about-

"I've set the self-destruct, I suggest you think on the way out." He answered stiffly, turning and striding quickly towards Genis. Around them the sirens wailed out their warning, lights blaring red.

It wasn't long before Harley's footsteps were hurrying after them.

* * *

It was a bright day, the sun gleaming across the lake and through the window panes. Colette rolled her shoulders, sighing and stretching her arms out. It was a beautiful day. Perhaps she'd take Leon would a walk. The fresh air would be nice, especially by the lake side.

She turned from the bedroom window, peering into the crib at her sleeping son. So much like his father, more so every day. A tinge of jealousy rose and fell and she laughed with a chiding scold towards herself, slipping her hand down to run through the quickly growing mop of hair. His hair was lighter. Lighter than Lloyd's ever could be. The dark strands had been replaced with soft, blond hair. Dirty blond, as she heard it called. Raine often told her that it would darken as he grew. Colette secretly hoped that it would remain, at least partially blond. She'd like to have something of herself.

Once more she shook her head, smiling as he son's large brown eyes peeked open. His little mouth stretched into an 'o', tight little fists stretching above his head as his little body arched, his chin tucked close to his chest.

Unable to resist, Colette wiggled a finger under his arm and the little boy squirmed, his eyes opening wide, a toothless smile greeting her. He babbled as she scooped him up, nuzzling close to her, tiny fingers clasped firmly into her clothing.

The home was quiet for a change. She had sent them away, though she knew Kratos would be lingering outside with Noishe. He seemed to still avoid sleeping, and while he didn't want to intrude on her night privacy within her home, Kratos would often patrol the home, or sit outside the door, Noishe at his side.

A part of her felt guilty, but safe as well. Kratos was the perfect grandfather, if not bodyguard for Leon. She would never question Kratos' desire to protect Leon, despite how she might feel about it.

She scrunched her nose slightly, detouring quickly into the bathroom. She still wasn't completely used to being a mother. She was still nervous and unsure. While Raine had provided plenty of advice, Colette couldn't help but long for maternal advice.

She looked down at her wriggling son, struggling to keep him in place as she laid the fresh cloth beneath him, trying to ease the pins through, without pricking his jerking legs. She wondered if all babies were the same...at least for the most part. Had she been like that? With her mother? She couldn't remember her mother that well. Her mother had fallen ill shortly after Colette had been born, and even years after that, she had never fully recovered. With her body to weak, one of the chills of winter had finally taken her. Colette had been three at the time.

Her hand brushed over Leon's hair, her smile tight, sad. How often had she thought this day wouldn't be real? To think she was a mother, that she had a child. It had never been her path to do so. Told she would die, she had come to accept that. Now she couldn't bear the thought of it.

"Because I wouldn't have you," she cooed, lifting her baby boy into her arms. Cleaning up the shelf, she stepped into the hallway, looking once more to the window, smiling brightly. "We'll go for a walk today, Leon. It's so beautiful outside."

He gurgled, tugging at her shirt, his other hand gripping her loose hair. She smiled, cooing and chiding him, freeing the strands from the painful tugs. She easily settled down into the rocking chair, cradling him and pulling a blanket about his form to let him nurse. Her foot pushed the chair, rocking back and forth, the creak of the boards filled the silence.

She'd take him down to the water, let him look at it, let him touch it. She'd find him a pebble to hold, to feel. Maybe there would be a couple shells. She'd stop by the store too, she'd get some fresh meat. Lloyd would be back later, she knew. She wanted to surprise him with stew. She also wouldn't mind buying a plant or two for the home...

She sighed once more, her head leaning back against the small pillow hanging from the rocker, her gaze travelling across the street and buildings, watching people walk by.

A soft smile graced her lips as her feet gently rocked the chair.

**Review Please.**


	52. Chapter 52

**Listening to **Shattered by Trading Yesterday. **Well, this chapter ended up being a bit of a longer one, but for good reason, and I doubt you mind. University is still pretty hectic, but I learned that writing in the earlier hours of the morning can be quite productive. My grammar might be a different story, though I don't have the time to do more than a quick reread through at the moment. I apologize in advance. Thank you to the reviewers and everyone still reading. Always appreciated and encouraging to know people are still showing an interest. I hope you all enjoy the chapter!**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 52:**

It couldn't be helped. Once Lloyd had triggered the alarm for security system, chaos had erupted in the ranch. In some ways it helped them move through the buildings, shoving their way through the corridors. They were fortunate that Harley had a more knowledge about the ranch layout and quickly took the lead.

"We need to get to the prisons."

The half-elf turned looking at him stunned. "Are you crazy? This place is going to blow, and you want to go to the prisons?"

Lloyd frowned, raising his voice above the wail of the siren and panicked shouts about them. "Just do it!"

Harley hesitated, then gave in with a frustrated growl, quickly leading them down a different corridor, shoving past other soldiers. Some of them shouted at Lloyd and Genis, but none of them pursued. Lloyd supposed they had some sense of self-preservation.

Genis didn't comment much, but whenever Lloyd glanced back to ensure the younger man's presence, Genis would look back at him with a anxious forced grin.

They reached the prisons, the people within the cells gripping the bars, looking out with fear and confusion. Harley rushed forward quickly to the control panel, frantically scanning the console. "I don't have a card key! What do we do?"

Lloyd frowned, striding forward trying to ignore the wail. Harley quickly moved out of the way, glancing anxiously around the room before back to the console. "Can you override it?"

Wordlessly, Lloyd focused on the screen, his fingers clicking. He hesitated at times, trying to draw on the lessons Yuan had drilled into him. After a attempts, he heard the satisfying sound of the cell doors rising, his eyes rising from the screen to watch the prisoners stumble out, Genis and Harley rushing towards them to get them organized. Lloyd would have to remember to thank the crotchety half-elf after this.

"Everyone move as fast you can!" Lloyd's voice rose. "Genis and Harley will lead, I'll take the end. Let's go!"

They moved quickly. The sense of urgency of thick as the shuffling forms struggled to hurry through the halls. Lloyd could hear the struggles ahead as Harley and Genis dealt with straggling Desians. At some point, Lloyd stooped and grabbed a thin, child, his other arm around an elderly woman.

How long had it been? He cursed himself for being so rash, for nothing even considering the time it would take to get the prisoners free.

The first explosion nearly threw him off his feet. The screams from ahead of him drowned by the deafening boom. Dust and bits of ceiling rained upon them and he felt the child in his arms clutch to his neck. He wrapped his other arm around the old woman's waist and pushed up, coughing and squinting through the haze.

"Keep moving!"

The scrambled, panic driving their weakened bodies forward. And then he could see it, light filtering through emergency exit they had entered in. He urged them, stumbling as a second explosion shook the place and he slammed against the wall, his arm cushioning the child from the impact. Then they were out, coughing and stumbling across the grass. Prisoners and Desians alike were fleeing into the nearby forests. Harley and Genis shouted above the thundering noise, guiding the prisoners in one direction, away from the panicked Desians.

Lloyd slowed, breathing heavily as he neared the huddled group, wide eyes staring back at the burning building. The flinched covering their heads as smoke and debris filled the air, coughing and closing their eyes.

Lloyd lowered the child to the ground and released the woman. The child clung to Lloyd's leg, looking back at the ranch, the little hands gripping his pants fearfully.

"Bless you, Child."

Lloyd turned looking towards the woman. She was bleeding from scrapes on her forehead and arms when she had fallen. But her expression was one of relief and she gripped Lloyd's hand firmly. "Bless you and your friends!"

Nodding slightly, his eyes scanned her and the other prisoners. Others were injured too, bruised limbs, cuts and possibly a few broken bones. He moved through them, healing the worst of the injuries. The little child continued to cling to his leg until a cheerful 'Momma' rang out, and Lloyd felt the hands release him. His eyes lifted, watching the reunion, smiling softly.

"We'll be heading for Asgard. I assume that's where most of you are from. We'll escort you." Lloyd spoke suddenly. "We shouldn't wait around. Any surviving Desians will likely gather together and could pose a threat."

There were no objections, just a shuffle of bodies.

Lloyd sighed and rubbed his face, glancing over to where Genis stepped up beside him. "You alright?"

"You are an idiot."

Lloyd blinked, tilting his head. The dusty half-elf glared up at him, his face slightly pale, but a rising flush to his cheeks. "You set the self-destruct and then decide to free the prisoners?! What the hell, Lloyd?! What were you thinking?"

"I'd like to know that as well," Harley mumbled, rubbing a hand through his hair, shaking the dust free.

Lloyd lifted his shoulders slightly and stepped past them to the waiting prisoners. "I wasn't really."

"Clearly."

"Idiot." Genis mumbled, but when Lloyd glanced back at him, the young half-elf was smirking and shaking his head.

* * *

"Harley!"

Genis lifted his head, from where he was helping a man bandage his hand. He blinked when he saw a young woman come flying down the street, bumping and stumbling past people. Genis glanced over at the red-head and watched the man's eyes widen.

The woman all but tackled Harley, making him stumble back and nearly losing his balance. She was speaking, but it was practically incoherent amid her choking sobs. Harley seemed to recover and his arms wrapped around her slowly, rubbing her back in an awkward way.

"It's alright, Aisha."

Genis blinked, tilting his head as he took in the woman. That was Aisha? He thought back to when they had first come to Asgard and it suddenly clicked. Colette had told them about Aisha and Linar, but Genis hadn't really thought about how they might have changed. He was bad for that it seemed.

He sighed and finished bandaging the man's hand. "When it's less crazy around here, make sure you get that checked out. And keep it clean or it'll get infected."

The man smiled and thanked him and Genis rose, moving away. He found Lloyd, talking with the mayor, a much younger man, the past mayor's son apparently.

"I'll have a word with Dirk and see what can be done. It's important that until then, they don't try to remove the exspheres or stress themselves too much."

"Yes, yes..." The young man frowned, tense, glancing about him in obvious agitation. "But what about retribution? The Desians will come to reclaim them. Why bring them here-?"

"Because it's their home." Genis cut in, scowling. "We just blew up the Desian ranch, again. Do you really think they'll be in a position to come back tomorrow and attack. Use your head ."

The young mayor's face colored and he seemed to snort almost in insult. Lloyd stepped in quickly.

"The city should be safe and I know you are still trying to regain some stability since the attacks, but survivors have family here. If anything, you will have more people to help you rebuild. And I have talked to the mayor at Luin since the last time I was here, and they agreed to send supplies and aid."

The man's expression changed, flickering with surprise and relief. His eyes darted about, his mouth moving as his thoughts gathered to come up with a reply. Personally, Genis wanted to knock this kid over head. Who elected this brat?

"Well then, I suppose it'll work out... yes, um, thank you then. And you will talk to this dwarf about key crests then?"

"Yes."

"Good, good. Well then, we better get to work, find a place for everyone to sleep..." the young man turned quickly, towards some men, instantly discussing the matter.

"He's an idiot."

Lloyd smiled weakly, glancing over at him. "You seem to think that way about a lot of people."

"No, just the idiots."

Lloyd chuckled and Genis cracked a smile. It was good to see Lloyd relaxed. He was almost tempted to bring up the issue they had left unsettled before the ranch, but he refrained. He didn't want to make Lloyd upset again. It was rare to see him like this, almost energetic and giddy. It made him seem more... like his old self.

"I guess we did it." Genis looked up at him, nudging his friend's arm. Lloyd glanced at him and then around, nodding. Genis chewed his cheek. "So, what do we do now?"

"It'd probably be wise to head back to Luin soon. Though, I'd like to make a headcount for Dirk, so he knows how many crests will be needed."

"Want some help?"

"I think I can handle counting"

"You mean now you can handle counting." Genis grinned.

Lloyd gave him an odd look and then shook his head and moved past him. "I'll meet you at the entrance when I'm done."

Genis frowned, but then rolled his shoulders and looked about him. Perhaps he could find more people to help-

"Hey!" he grunted, frowning as someone bumped into him.

"Oh! I'm sorry! So sorry!"

Genis blinked staring at the owl-eyed young man before him. "Li... Linar?"

The dark haired man slid his glasses up his nose, peering at Genis and then his eyes grew larger. "Oh my- Genis? Genis Sage isn't it?! I didn't-look how tall you've grown! How did you ever manage it, being as short as your were?! Oh nevermind! Do tell me about your sister! Miss Sage, how is she? I haven't seen here since her last visit to Asgard and that was nearly a year ago now. She was giving a lecture in the school about the history of the dias and it was absolutely marvelous-"

"Linar, slow down!" Genis interrupted, waving his hands, laughing.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry, I've gotten carried away again. Forgive me." The young man flushed, pushing his glasses up once more.

"It's fine..." Genis smiled and then tilted his head. "So you're still a fan of Raine's?"

"Oh yes. I've been taking her advice about applying oneself to their research and I must say that the results are astounding. Her list of recommended texts are so intense and filled with knowledge, it's almost overwhelming, but I am attempting to glean it all. It is the duty of a scholar after all!"

Genis raised an eyebrow, unsure if he should be amused or frightened by the drastic effect his sister seemed to have on her admirer.

"Yeah, she's a pretty good teacher. Is that what you are doing now?"

"Why yes! I teach at the Asgard school and hope to rekindle an interest in the ancient history of this city. What do you do?"

"I'm trying to finish my education through the Palmacosta Academy. I'm nearly done now..." Genis frowned. " Well I've been a little distracted, so I'm falling behind a bit on my studies."

Linar's expression softened. "Yes well, you have been busy and we thank you dearly for everything you've done for our city and the other cities. But don't forget to take time for yourself, Genis. You have a brilliant mind and it's a talent that should not be neglected."

Genis grinned. "Oh I don't neglect it. But I know what you mean. Thanks Linar. But I should get going. You take care of yourself."

"You as well! And give my thanks to Lloyd for saving Harley. I know Aisha does as well."

Genis looked over to the entrance, to where Lloyd was being awkwardly hugged Aisha, trying to free himself. He grinned and laughed. "Oh, I'm sure he knows."

* * *

"Make this quick, Yuan."

"You have become so much more impatient, ever since that child came around. Do you forget that you are his grandfather, Kratos and not his father? You don't need to be there every moment."

Kratos narrowed his eyes at him and Yuan chuckled, sighing. "Alright, alright. There is a reason I called you out here and it's more than just to aggravate you. We need to talk about the seal."

The man fell silent and Yuan leaned forward on his chair, tapping his desk. "Kratos, you know as well as I, that if Lloyd does become serious enough to challenge Yggdrasill head on, then the seal will have to be released. As long as he has the Eternal Sword-"

"I'm very aware of what needs to be done, Yuan." The retort was fast and cold. Yuan leaned back, eyeing his comrade. He hated to be the one to throw the truth upon Kratos' shoulders once more, but it was necessary. He was always the one to do the dirty work. He did it with Mithos and now it was with Kratos. Soon it would be with Lloyd. He sighed, rubbing his face. That was a situation he really didn't want to find himself in.

"You have time, Kratos." He offered, trying to meet the man's eyes, but unable. Kratos seemed to be staring off into nothing.

"I've had so much time, Yuan... and it never seems to be enough. So many years and so many times when I wished it would end. Now I suppose I no longer desire it."

Yuan took a heavy breath, turning his gaze to the side, gazing at the ring on his hand. He had been shocked when Lloyd suddenly turned up with it during his time in Cruxis. Apparantly Kratos had recognized it and revealed the ring's history. He closed his eyes quickly, wondering what Martel would say about him now. How disappointed would she be in him?

"We'll need to gather materials for the Eternal Ring first. I want to be sure that Lloyd will have the opportunity to wield the sword when the time comes. Until that matter has been settled, I'll not be releasing the seal."

Yuan studied the man and then nodded, closing his eyes. "That seems reasonable enough. However, if we can't obtain the ring, then I'll take possession of the sword. Either way, if Yggdrasill is to be stopped, the pact needs to be broken.

"Yes."

"Kratos..."

"Do you regret it?"

Yuan looked at him unwavering. They had broached this question many times and in most case, it had been left unanswered. There was much Yuan regretted, but to regret it would to regret the things he cherished, so he denied himself that chance, refused to answer.

"I used to." Kratos spoke, his tone flat. "But I remind myself that I would have never met Anna."

"Being a grandfather has really gotten you soft." Yuan cut in quickly and Kratos instantly withdrew, his expression once more hardening, his gaze narrowing with irritation. Yuan chuckled, "Leon really has you wrapped around your finger, doesn't he?"

Kratos huffed and stood. "If you had a child of your own, you'd understand, Yuan. Not if you don't mind, I need to be getting back."

Yuan scoffed and leaned back into his chair, watching Kratos leave. He glanced at his ring and then about the room, frowning. Now was not the time for sentimental values and fantasies. Marriage, children and relationships? No. Despite the fantasy they all believed they were living, they were in the middle of a war. In any case, kids were annoying. Raine's little brother was a perfect example.

He released a breath, tapping on the desk before pushing up and grabbing his cape. It seemed someone needed to be the voice of logic in this chaotic mess that they called a group.

* * *

She stopped, her head swivelling back around. She heard the fighting, the clang of swords and the screams of those dying. Her grip tightened around her son and she twisted back around, fleeing towards the city bridge.

Then she saw something that made her stomach drop. She slowed, immediately taking a step back as the woman walked towards her across the bridge. Hard eyes, shadowed beneath mauve lids scanned her, red lips parting in a pleased smile.

"Chosen One."

Colette's skin crawled as she stared at the woman and her gripped tightened about Leon. The baby whimpered, squirming in her arms.

She turned and fled, back into the heart of the city, towards the chaos that was erupting, drawing closer. Leon began to cry in her arms, his chubby hands swinging, pushing against her, rejecting the smothering hold she had on him. She forced herself to loosen it, if only by an inch, easing the comfort of her son. Yet she didn't slow in her flee. Ahead of her, her eyes darted, catching glimpses of the silvered helmets, the explosion of spells and bursts of mana.

They had been found.

Her thoughts instantly went to Lloyd and Genis. Had they been caught at the Ranch? Had it been a trap?

She stopped short, flinching and turning her body away as a bolt of lightning crashed down into a group of militia men. Pebbles and dust flew around and she cough, her eyes tearing from the sting of the haze. Leon wailed louder, terrified by the noise and commotion.

Colette turned her head, scanning the area, the people fleeing and running for their lives. Where was everyone?! Her eyes found the inn and she started towards it, but a glance to her left and she immediately turned from the building, fleeing further into the haze.

She had seen the woman before. She had been there, upon the mountaintop on the day she regained her senses. On the day Lloyd had been taken. The green hair, that amour about her body... there was no mistaking the woman, Pronyma...

Her eyes widen when she saw a flash of pink. She stopped, turning in the direction, seeing Presea leading Frank and Dirk down the street. Relief washed over her, seeing her father being safely escorted away. Her feet instantly began carrying her towards them, her mouth open to shout when another explosion made her turn about, fleeing from the debris falling through the air. She coughed, stumbling and one hand catching herself before striking the ground. It was difficult to breathe and she immediately looked at her son, his face cradled just beneath her chest, her hand about his head and body. She pushed up, staggering, wrapping the blanket about him, keeping his face sheltered from the dusty air.

"Why do you run, when there is no longer any point? Do you think that I'd let you escape Yggdrasill's grasp again? To make a fool of Cruxis?"

A hand gripped her hair and she cried out, feeling herself behind pulled back. She twisted her arm back, grabbing at the base of her braid. Then she clenched her teeth, twisting about and swinging her arm up and down upon the arm that held her.

The crack came and a few seconds past before the staggering Desian registered the pain and cried out, clutching his fractured arm. Leon continued to cry.

Colette staggered, throwing her head, watching the Desians draw in closer. But then a shout and a rush of feet and Luin's militia surged from the haze and collided with the soldiers. Colette made to flee, but the woman stood before her, crimson lips upturned at the corners, a hand braced upon her hip.

"A baby. An unexpected twist to this tale. Yggdrasill will be disappointed to learn that you are no longer useful as a Chosen." Her lips curled in a mocking sneer. "A failed Chosen with her whimpering whelp in her arms. How utterly disgraceful. To think you could ever have been considered as Martel's vessel."

Colette clutched Leon closer to her breast, eyes narrowing. "Then you have no reason to remain here! Leave us alone!"

She laughed, tilting her head back, her teeth flashing white. Colette flinched and then turned, rushing past the struggling forces. She stumbled and staggered, dodging fleeing citizens and battling soldiers. Once more the city bridge appeared in her city, the haze fading behind her.

"Colette!"

She heard her name, but it was faint and distant. She couldn't stop. If she stopped they would be taken or killed. She couldn't let them take Leon, she couldn't let them know the truth. She couldn't let them discover who his father is-

The blow struck her back and she flew forward. She cried out, twisting and landing sharply on her shoulder. Leon choked and released a cry from within the blankets, his small feet kicking and hands clutching at her shirt. She grimaced, turning back to her front, struggling to get her legs beneath her when she felt the stir of mana again. She lurched forward, shielding Leon completely with her body.

The pain was searing and instant and she screamed before clamping her mouth shut, biting her lower lip. She didn't want to frighten Leon even more.

The blow came across her right temple and fingers curled about her hair, drawing her hair back.

"Pathetic, that you think by taking the attack, you can save this little inferior creature. But once you lay dead upon the street, who will be left to shield him."

Colette gasped, grimacing before she was released and a second blow struck her face again, knocking her to the ground.

"Eight years, you have had me searching. Eight years of disappointing, Lord Yggdrasill. Leading me around on a chase, slipping through my fingers. Embarrassing me. Humiliating me."

Colette's vision spun with each strike, a foot to her back, to the back of her head, her ribs... She curled around her frightened child, choking as she struggled to soothe him with her voice.

"Hush now, Leon. Hush now..."

Hot tears brushed her face and she felt a lull in the attacks. Pronyma's rant had faded to a rant of nothings, but now it was different. Her eyes opened painfully. Her right starting to swell just above the cheek. She lifted her head to see him, Lloyd walking slowly towards Pronyma, she slipped one hand down, pushing herself off the ground, biting her bleeding lip against the pain in her shoulder. Leon hiccupped, and cried out again.

"Ah, I was wondering if you would show up, Lloyd Aurion. I was beginning to think that my informant had been mistaken."

Lloyd said nothing, his hands curled tightly about the swords, but he stopped. Pronyma's hand outstretched towards Colette, a glowing mass of black mana swirled and gathered. Her eyelids lowered slightly. "I suggest you put those swords away. Because we both know, she is expendable in this and after the humiliation both you and her put me through these past years, I wouldn't hesitate in destroying her."

Lloyd's mouth tightened, his eyes flashing with anger, but he remained motionless, swords lowered. "You were the leader of the rebuilt ranch."

She flashed him a smile, sneering. "Then you are the one that recently destroyed it. Lord Yggdrasill will not be pleased with your conduct, Lloyd. Attacking his forces, misleading the search for the Chosen, bedding with her. My I can just imagine the look on his face when he learns about this."

"You think he'll believe you?" Lloyd countered, scoffing.

"There is the child to prove it. It is yours isn't it? The little wailing whelp. I assure you, the little whore was very thorough in keeping it undamaged, as you can see."

Colette met Lloyd's eyes and they widened slightly as she shakily rose to her feet. Her hand found the strap behind her back, her fingers flicking it open and catching the smooth metal her fingers.

Pronyma laughed, watching Lloyd's face and Colette stepped away from her crying son laying wrapped in his blanket, nestled against the side of an overturned barrel. She stepped shakily, her vision spinning, the swirling black mana made her nauseous, but she turned her gaze to the woman before her.

"I suppose this is what Kvar must have felt like," her voice rose a pitch, her cheeks flushed. "But I will be rewarded for my efforts. I am not a fool. I will gain Lord Yggdrasill's recognition for my effort. Years of effort. I have found not only the Chosen, but one of the traitorous Aurions, and we all know that Kratos wouldn't be far behind. And now-" She turned, her glittering eyes turning to look at Colette, only to have them widen, finding her barely a foot from her.

Colette swung her arm, the metal glinting and flashing through the sunlight, the sharp edge slipping and dividing the smooth pale skin. Eyes widened, the spell releasing with a explosion of energy beyond. Lloyd rushed towards his son, sheltering him from the attack. Pronyma staggered back, her gloved hands, clasping at her crimson throat.

"No one threatens my son," Colette spoke quietly, staring as the woman staggered and dropped first to her knees, then on her side. The eyes blank and unseeing.

The chakram fell with a clatter to the ground and she turned, falling into Lloyd as he stepped forward, his one arm wrapping about her, the other clutching their son.

"Lloyd..."

"It's over, Colette. It's alright, Leon's alright. It's over."

She turned her eyes towards their son, his brown eyes staring back at her, his lip and chin quivering in uncertainty and fear. Dirt smudged his cheeks and forehead and a small scrape glowed pink above his right eye.

She reached for him, pressing her finger into his palm, tears flowing down her cheeks.

* * *

"How is she?"

"She's sleeping."

Kratos raised his gazed towards the bedroom door, then back towards his son. Lloyd had yet to look at him since the found one another after the chaos.

"It was my fault."

"I know."

The words were sharp and quick, and the russet eyes finally locked with one another. Anger and accusation bled from them and Kratos refrained from looking away. They both knew if he had been there, Pronyma wouldn't have been able to hurt Colette. If Kratos had been there, Colette would have been alright. Leon would have been alright.

"Raine is escorting Dirk to Asgard tomorrow. She wants to wait and see how Colette is before she leaves," Kratos spoke, filling the silence. Lloyd didn't respond.

He looked away, rubbing his face and sighing. He pushed from the table, turning and walking to the window, staring out at the smoking city.

"I want you to escort Frank back to Iselia, after Colette has said her goodbyes." Lloyd's tone was flat and hard. Kratos turned towards him, keeping his expression neutral. "Then I want you to stay there for a day to be sure no one follows you."

"Very well."

He wanted to stay. He didn't want to abandon them again, but he didn't want to argue with Lloyd either. Yuan had been right, he was the grandfather, not the father. He had his chance to play that role and he had messed it up and even now, he nearly made the same mistake again. It would be better if he removed himself temporarily. Give Lloyd some space.

"After that, I want you to return to Asgard and watch Dirk and the escort him home once he has finished making the key crests for the freed prisoners."

He glanced at him, frowning. He was hesitant to ask, but he needed to know.

"Are you planning on staying here?"

"No."

The answer was abrupt and Kratos let the silence linger for a moment before asking, "Where are you going?"

"Somewhere else."

Kratos turned and looked back out the window. "I would like the chance to say goodbye to Leon then, before I leave tomorrow. If I may."

"I'm sure Colette will let you."

Kratos took a breath and turned, facing Lloyd completely. "I'm sorry, Lloyd. I knew I shouldn't have left and as a result of my carelessness-"

"She nearly died!" Lloyd snapped, turning on him. "They nearly died! Or worse, they could have taken Leon! Can you imagine what they would have done with him if they didn't outright kill him?! How could you even think to leave them alone! Alone?! Why didn't you get Zelos or Sheena, or Presea or even Raine to come over?! Where the hell were they?!"

"Colette wished time to herself-"

"That's not an excuse! She's my wife! That's my child! They said they'd protect them! That they'd protect her! And where were they?! Damn it, Dad, where were they?! Where were you?!"

His hand slammed upon the table, making it shudder and groan. Kratos stonily kept his position, watching as his son turned and just collapsed in the chair, covering his face with his hand.

"Where was I...?" he muttered, weak. "She told me not to go. I knew she didn't want me to go. I shouldn't have. I should have stayed here, to protect her, them. It's my fault. I abandoned them. Left them alone. It was a trap in the end and I was too stupid not to see it. An idiot. Raine was right. I was rash and stupid. I messed up..."

He choked, cutting himself off and he just sat there, shaking.

"I messed up, Dad...I told you I wouldn't make your mistake and-"

"And you didn't." Kratos gripped his shoulder firmly, standing beside the chair. "They are both alive, sleeping in that room. You still have your family, Lloyd. They are still here."

Lloyd took a shuddering breath, brushing his hand across his face, sighing. "Colette...she shouldn't have had to do that. I should have..."

"She did it for your son. Just as your mother protected you...still protects you." His eyes drifted down to the exsphere upon his son's hand.

"You're right..." Lloyd took another shuddering breath, before glancing over towards the bedroom, then back at his father. "Will you tell them for us? I can't face them. Not yet. I don't want to face the questions and arguments."

Kratos hesitated and nodded. "I will."

"It wasn't your fault, Dad. I'm sorry I said that. All that is happening is a consequence to my actions. I won't make the same mistake again, I can't."

"I won't either, Lloyd."

Lloyd lifted his eyes and then slowly gripped Kratos' hand before standing up. "If Leon... wakes up, would you mind watching him, while Colette sleeps?"

Kratos blinked, staring at his son, but then nodded. "Of course, if that's what you want."

"Yeah, it is." Then he turned and walked slowly to the bedroom, slipping into the room and shutting the door quietly.

Kratos turned and looked out at the smoking city, watching the sun set behind the distant mountains.

**Review Please.**


	53. Chapter 53

**Listening to **Rubik's Cube by Athlete**. Amazing song. So it's been a while. I was thinking long and hard about how this chapter needed to go, but I managed to work it out. It's been pretty hectic lately. University is coming to a close and soon it will be summer. Time seems to be going by so fast. Hard to believe it. Anyway, thanks to everyone still reading and those who review. Always look forward to seeing them. I hope you enjoy!**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 53:**

"I grow tired of this game. Where have they gone?"

He ran a hand over his hair, smoothing, leaning back against the plush catch, arms stretching back against the headrest. He regarded the intruder lazily, but with careful scrutiny.

"It's not my problem the woman failed. No one knows where they went. They just up and left, middle of the night type thing, you know? You got the information last time, it's not my fault it was spoiled."

"How did you get to this world, hmm? I don't recall ever allowing you access."

He flashed a steely smile, laying his head back and closing his eyes. "Being a backstabber has perks, you know? Decided to get away from the city life, give the country life a try, explore new lands and perhaps their women."

"Disgusting man."

He chuckled, lifting his head to watch the shadowed figure. Something about the response seemed so child-like. It didn't have the same ring to it like when Sheena would berate him. No, this was a child response to an adult point of view. How interesting...

"And where is the woman? The Summoner. I believe Pronyma warned you about what would happen if she continued making the pacts."

"We split ways. Was pretty chaotic back there in Luin, you know? Everyone screaming and running around and getting killed. Everyone seemed to head off in different directions. Not that it matters to me, I do enjoy my privacy after all."

"Then how do you explain all the women clothing laying around."

He threw his head back laughing, once more smoothing the thick hair back with his hand. "Come now, Yggdrasill. Do you really think I'd spend my nights alone while I'm here? No title, no responsibility, and cities full of women ripe for the taking. Why wouldn't there be women's clothing laying around?"

It did the trick. The half-elf narrowed his eyes and tensed uncomfortably, jaded eyes roaming the room. The darkness hid the angel Lord well, but a nerve had been struck.

"You are not free from responsibility. I want you to find them. Any of them and when you do, send me a signal immediately. You are here under luxury and opportunity, Chosen. If anything were otherwise, I would have you returned to Tethe'alla immediately. Are we clear?"

"Crystal."

Then he was gone.

Zelos closed his eyes, slipping his arms off the headrest, folding them back in to cradle his face as he hunched forward. He released a heavy breath, feeling his heartbeat in his ears and the drumming of blood painful, a dull throb in his head.

It had been an unexpected and unwelcomed visit and one he had dreaded for nights. They should have moved on. But vain hope had slowed them, deterred them to the point where they thought perhaps one night more, one night extra to rest and relax.

Her light footsteps caught his attention, but he didn't raise his head, not trusting himself to look at her. The light from the bedroom filtered into the hallway, pushing her shadow ahead of her as she slipped into the den.

"Zelos? I heard voices. Was someone here?" she called out sleepily.

He smiled wistfully and lowered his hands between his knees, turning his head slightly to the right. She stepped around the corner, dressed in an oversized shirt-one of his most likely. Her hair was loose, puffed about her head in messy disarray. She blinked at him, clearing her eyes.

He achingly pushed off the couch, thankful for his restless night that had led him to it in the first place. Slowly making his way over to her, she looked up at him, a frown creasing her pretty face.

"Zelos?"

He turned her, slipping his arms about her waist, nesting his face against her shoulder and neck, closing his eyes. She didn't resist him. One of her hands, rose touching his cheek as she twisted her face to look at him. "What's gotten into you?

"Couldn't sleep. Wasn't talking to myself. Did I wake you?"

"Apparently so. It didn't sound like a one-sided conversation." Her skepticism evident in her tone.

"Hum..." he muttered, kissing her neck gently. "You look good. You should wear this more often."

She leaned her head, scoffing at his comment, but shivering at his tiny kisses. "It was the first thing I grabbed. It's so damn hot in this desert. Why do the Renegades have to build their base in the desert?"

"You didn't have to dress for me. I don't mind seeing you in less-"

"I told you I thought someone else was here." She cut him off quickly, the heat rising in her cheeks. Her tone lowered though. "You aren't seeing other women are you? Be honest with me, Zelos."

"I'm not," he said easily, kissing her neck again, embracing her tighter.

She didn't respond, her arms wrapping about his, leaning back against him. He nearly doze off, standing there with her in his arms when her voice brought him back. "You think anyone noticed it?"

"Noticed what, Babe?" he murmured, not bothering to open his eyes.

"The earthquake. It was larger than the first one."

"Probably."

"Was it really a good idea? To continue making the pacts? Lloyd told us to stop..."

"He also took off without a word to anyone."

She hesitated, fidgeting in his grip. "You knew what happened. Can you really blame him, Zelos? I mean, they almost got her-"

"So he ditches the rest of us to take the heat from Cruxis? You, the Sages, even the old dwarf. He just ups and leaves without a word or warning. At least not to anyone but his old man and even he doesn't know where he went off to. Sorry if I'm not exactly sympathetic."

"Of course I'm upset about it, but he was just trying to protect them." She sighed, shifting in his grip once more. "Let go, it's too hot in this inn to hug like this."

He nuzzled her neck again, but didn't let go. "Do you want to stop making the pacts?"

"I don't know. I'm just worried that'll it draw Cruxis' attention. But I feel useless, sitting here. During this past year we only made the pact with Celsius and Efreet. That still leaves us with three summon spirits. And you remember, what they said the last time? The links are being severed. We still don't know what that means, or what will happen afterward. I'd feel more comfortable about it if Lloyd was here..."

"What makes you think he'd know anymore than we do? I'd say ask Yuan about it. He's the one pressuring you to get it done after all."

"I don't trust him still. Even if Raine does, I don't. He's too shady and I know you agree with me."

He chuckled, lifting his head. "So attentive."

"Don't mock me." She wriggled, freeing herself from his grip. Crossing her arms, she sighed, leaning against the wall, staring into the dim candlelight coming from the bedroom. "Maybe Lloyd has the right idea. Running and hiding, just living a simple life away from all this mess."

"Babe, we don't even know if they are hiding. Maybe Cruxis already scooped them up. No one's heard from them since they left. I wouldn't get my hopes up."

"You're such a pessimist," she scowled.

"I prefer realist. Listen, Sheena. If you really want to abandon it all, by all means, I'm for it. But if we are going to do it, we have to do it right. Leave everything in the past and cut all ties."

Her hazel eyes locked onto him, a crease in her brow. "What about your sister?"

He stepped back to the opposite wall, leaning on it and then forward slightly, hands in his pockets. "What about her?"

"Zelos, I know you don't-"

"Listen, she's safe in the Abbey. Not as if I can change anything about her life right now as it is. Heck, if I suddenly vanished for a long period of time, maybe she'd gain my title and be free."

"You don't mean that."

He regarded her carefully, suddenly wary of the hazel eyes on him. He pushed of the wall, making his way back to the bedroom. "Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. I'm not a fortune teller."

"Zelos, don't walk away-"

"We should get some sleep. Move out tomorrow. Don't like sitting in one place too long, you know? Besides, this place isn't exactly my idea of first class. My hair is so full of sand it feels gritty. What you say we make for Palmacosta? Heard it's the Meltokio of this slum world."

She didn't respond. He lay on the bed, facing the wall and he felt her get in beside him. The puff of her breath blew out the candle and the room fell into darkness. She wriggled in close to him, slipping her arm loosely around his waist and sighed.

He caught her hand gently, rubbing a thumb against the smooth skin.

"I won't make you run away, Zelos. I'm sorry."

He closed his eyes at the cruel irony of her words.

* * *

They had been on their way back from the docks, arms laden with fresh fish and supplies. Genis' face was flushed with the chilled damp sea air, making his angular cheeks glow pink. His long hair was fastened back, but loose strands were tugging free.

He was chatting about his studies, waving one arm around as he explained one theory or another, but her attention was elsewhere. She slowed in her walk, clutching the packages anxiously as she watched the small figure draw back behind one of the buildings. She caught Genis' arm, her eyes not leaving the shadowed figure.

"We're being watched."

Genis stiffened a bit, his eyes tracking her own gaze until he spotted the figure. He hesitated, glancing about before leaning towards her. "I think it's just one."

She tilted her head a bit. "I think it's a child."

Whether Genis was surprised by her deduction, Presea didn't know. Regardless she stepped forward, ignoring his hissing warning, clutching her packages, but shifting the weight to one arm, leaving a hand free to reach her small dagger if needed.

The small figure seemed to draw back, hunched , but the alley was nothing but a niche between buildings with nowhere to withdraw to.

Large blue eyes met her own and she relaxed slightly, offering a small smile. "Hello."

The figure was a young boy, only in his early teens. Thin and dirty from the dusty alley, he didn't respond, but only regarded her warily, casting a glance behind her as Genis' tall form entered view.

"Who is it?"

"A boy. He's frightened."

Presea drew back a bit as Genis peered past her, then noticed his mouth splitting into a large grin. "Hey now. No need to be frightened. Kinsmen."

She frowned at that single word and the way it excluded her from Genis, but the boy's reaction excused the uncomfortable feeling it brought. The boy's entire body seemed to relax, relief flooding the wide eyes.

"Kinsmen..." he nodded softly.

She watched the boy carefully from across the room. They had brought him with them to the small dorm they shared at the university. She wondered briefly how long they would be able to shelter the boy here before the superiors noticed an extra person, even with Genis' standing at the school. Still, it was good to see Genis smile again and laugh. He used to do that a lot more.

"No, no. Like this. One, two, one two...You see?"

The old kendama had been dug out of the bottom of a pack and found its way into the young half-elf's hand. The ball bobbed back and forth in the awkward hand, attentive blue eyes watching the ball as it bounced off the flat edges.

"There you go! I think you got it! Lloyd never could, no matter how hard he tried." Genis grinned, leaning back into his chair.

The boy only smiled. Tentative and shy. Though she supposed that he was still young. But there was something very old about him that Presea couldn't quite grasp. She knew, that half-elves struggled much in both worlds. Perhaps it had something to do with his experiences. After all, she was very much the same.

"So, Mithos. Where are you from originally?" Genis reached behind him to the table, grabbing the basket of muffins, offering one to the young boy.

He took one slowly, looking at it silently, turning it with his slender fingers. "No where really."

Presea recognized the pity that crossed Genis' face. She shifted carefully on the chair, the book she had been reading abandoned on her lap as she studied the two half-elves.

"Moved around a lot, huh? My sister and I did that a lot too, when I was younger. I don't remember very much of it, but we ended up making a home in Iselia for a few years. Posed as elves you know? We got lucky."

"You have a sister?" The eyes lifted, the voice soft, but filled with curiosity.

"Yeah. Raine. She was the schoolteacher there. But we left, when the Regeneration Journey started. That was a long time ago."

"You went on the Journey of Regeneration? Wow! What was it like?!"

A shadow seemed to cross across Genis' features. Presea considered speaking up, but she did not wish to interfere. Something she had learned over time was how similar Genis and Lloyd were when it came to the past. As time went on, the past seemed pushed further and further away and to recall it, brought many unwanted memories.

"We...got to travel a lot. Saw a lot of places. It was pretty dangerous though and exciting at times..."

"She failed it. The Chosen. She ran away." The words flowed out smoothly, contrasting heavily with the innocent casual tone the young blond spoke with. Presea almost considered it mocking, but had to remind herself that this boy was removed from the situation. Genis and herself were among the few that new the truth of the worlds. It was unfair to frown upon other's reactions as cold as they may seem.

"It was complicated." Genis answered after awhile and then settled into silence. He seemed lost in thought and Presea wished he would smile again.

"Do you have any family, Mithos?" She spoke suddenly, making the young boy flinch at her soft, yet firm tone. Both young half-elves glanced in her direction where she observed from her seat. He seemed to frown, but it was but a shadow of emotion before he nodded.

"I have a sister. But she's not here." His eyes lowered to the kendama still in his hands, turning it slowly. "I miss her."

Genis' smile returned, but it was soft. A smile of understanding and connection. "Yeah, my sister is somewhere else too. It's hard to be away from your family."

"Why would you let her leave?"

The question caught him off guard and Genis rubbed his neck, smiling weakly. "Well, I mean , I'm old enough to be on my own now. And I have Presea with me. She keeps me company and, well, looks after me when I'm absentminded." He glanced up at her, smiling, then looked back at the boy. "I still miss my sister, but we have different things to do now. I'm trying to get through school here and she's...well...off doing her thing."

"What sort of things?" Mithos pressed, tilting his head.

"Oh probably looking at some old ruin or something. She's crazy about that sort of stuff."

"But do you know where she is? What if she gets hurt-"

"She knows how to handle herself. And she has friends, if she needs to call on someone. And she writes from time to time, to let me know how things are going."

Mithos smiled gently. "That must be nice. Do you have a lot of friends too?"

Genis smiled weakly. "Yeah, something like that. We haven't seen each other for a while. Gets harder...when you grow up, you know? You sort of lose touch with one another."

The young boy's face turned down, a shadow of frown crossing the pale features. "Yes...I suppose you are right. You drift apart and don't really know one another anymore."

"Yeah..." Genis nodded. "So...where is your sister? Are you trying to get back to her?"

This time he smiled. Youthful determination erasing the shadow of resentment that seemed to have crossed the boy's face. Presea found it amazing how quickly the boy's emotions seemed to flow from one to the other. She almost felt envy for how easily Mithos made it out to be.

"Yeah. I'm going to bring her back, to stay with me. We'll get to be a family again, just me and her."

"Well you are welcomed to stay here, for as long as you need. Maybe there is a way we can help you locate her, make things easier for you. But right now, I think we need to go get something to eat." Genis grinned, rising to his feet. "What do you say Mithos, should we go see what's down in the cafeteria?"

Mithos flashed a smile in return, pushing up. "Sure!"

Genis nodded, then looked to over as Mithos started for the door. "What about you, Presea? You going to come?"

"Perhaps in a minute." She smiled softly. "I'll meet you boys down there."

Genis nodded, then slipped from the room, Mithos voice already floating through the hallways, asking questions of a sort.

Presea watched the door shut with a click before closing the book gently, setting it on the coffee table. There was something odd about the boy that made her feel uncomfortable. She couldn't explain the feeling exactly, but it made her uneasy, sitting in the same room as her.

She knew it wasn't about his race. After all, Genis was a half-elf, as was Raine. So she wondered what exactly the source of her discomfort was.

His eyes...

She stood slowly, moving about the room and fixing the mess the boys had left. She lifted the small kendama and gently set it upon the table, looking back towards the closed door.

The boy's eyes were too old, and while she tried to reason that experience aged one beyond their years, nothing about the boy's demeanour shared that. He seemed untouched, preserved in this perfect form of youth. She had not seen scars on his face or arms. The moments came, instead, from the flash of anger, pain, and resentment seen only in the shadows of the face.

Genis was never as perceptive to notice, or perhaps he did and he was keeping it to himself just as she was. Those flicker of emotions were the same ones she saw upon Lloyd's face in the earlier days when he trusted no one. The way he looked at her that night in the rain and she threatened him...and the nights when the past was drifting towards the surface and he forced it back into the depths. She had to wonder then, what his boy had seen, had experienced, to give him such an old look.

She shook her head with a sigh and slipped out of the room, joining the boys in the cafeteria.

* * *

It had all past in the blink of an eye. The tottering steps of their son seemed to carrying the three of them forward through time fast. Too fast...

His first word nothing more than a babbling sound that Colette interrupted as a word. Now streams of sounds seemed to flow from the tooth-peeking mouth, urged on by her laughter and smiles. The giggles of laughter and little hands hiding eyes in a game of peek-a-boo, but only to look through the splayed fingers to make sure Da was watching. Long nights of looking over the edge of the crib, a finger rubbing swollen, teething gums. Nights of silence and Colette cuddled at his side, no need to talk, but enjoying the feeling of contact between their bodies, her face nestled against his neck. How he wished those days would last...

But they had felt it. The shaking of ground, the cracks in the mortar and streets, the waves washing up from the ocean, digging foamy fingers into the beach and raking everything back in. And then it was gone, like a drifting thought simply passing through the mind. He had wanted to believe that's what it was. He wanted to return to the world of bubble baths and yellow ducks, of clingy hands in hair and sloppy kisses before bed. He wanted to shut the door and return to that life.

"Are you sure you want to leave? It's by no means a burden."

Lloyd raised his gaze from the carpeted floor, his hands limp between his knees. He drew back against the plush chair, straightening his gaze on the elder man.

"It's a burden of another kind that's forcing my hand."

"Yes, of course." Regal folded his hands, resting his elbows on the desk. "You'll be taking your family with you?"

"Yes."

Another nod. Regal pressed his forehead to his hands before sighing and leaning back rubbing his wrists habitually. "I must admit, I am concerned about that earthquake. I'll assume that is the cause of your departure?"

It was, but it wasn't. He wasn't sure if the earthquake was even related. Yet, regardless, it had forced his little world to crack. It had been a year. A year of escaping the past and the future, a year of living in the present and enjoying every minute. He didn't want to leave, but he simply couldn't stay.

"I think it's related to the summon spirit pacts." He gazed beyond the President, out the large window that displayed the endless ocean and sky.

"Ah, yes. I looked into your request, from earlier and managed to come upon some old records about research of a light that can penetrate the Temple of Darkness. You'd have to get in contact with the Research Laboratory in Meltokio, but I'll give you a letter with my seal to aid in your request should you have trouble acquiring the item."

He nodded absently, trying to focus on the horizon line that divided sky and water, but the light stung his eyes and he finally brought them back within the room. He blinked, trying to clear the darkness that blinded him.

"How soon are you planning to leave Altamira? I'll have supplies provided for your return to Sylvarant."

"Within a few days. And we are grateful, for everything you have done for us." Lloyd met the man's eyes. It seemed he had aged even more since the last time they crossed paths. The gray streaked his temples and the lines along his eyes seemed deeper. When Lloyd had first sought the Duke out, cashing in his favor, he had hardly recognized the ex-convict. Hair smoothed and fastened back and a nobleman's suit hiding the solidly built man beneath. Though, if he had to guess, the businessman had become slighter. He was a man settling back into the years before retirement, though Lloyd knew Regal was nowhere near doing so. But the fight was gone from the President's eyes and instead, struggling to ease the his haunting past.

"I will keep the home available to you. You can keep a key, should you need the place again. I will miss your company." A tired smile offered gratitude. "It has been an aid, to have someone to talk to that understands the situation."

"It is the least I could offer in exchange for everything you have done."

"Yes well. Alicia, as well as I, both offer our blessing in your return to Sylvarant and whatever struggles you will come to face."

"Thank you." Lloyd nodded and rose from the chair. He gave the Duke the time of his departure and left the building. He made his way through the crowded streets, feeling the heat of the sun on his neck. He rubbed it as he made his way down the sandy steps to the beach. They were off to one side, sitting in the shallows of the water. Colette was leaning over their son, cooing into his ear as he tapped and splashed at the water, giggling whenever the baby splashed himself.

"He seems better today. Did he fuss?"

Colette looked up, smiling radiantly. "Only a little at first. I think he found it cold."

Lloyd smiled gently and seated himself in the dry sand, watching them. Leon had caught hold of one of his mother's braids, gripping it as he stared wide-eyed into the shifting moving water. Her gurgled at it, talking in his own baby way.

He hated to ruin this image. They were both happy, smiling and he was about to take it away from them. He had considered leaving them here. Where it was safe, but he knew Colette wouldn't allow for it. They had whispered about it, arguing into the late hours of the morning ever since ground shook.

"_Wherever you are, I'm going with you."_ Were her final words.

He hadn't the heart to argue with her about it after that.

Leon's eyes rose from the water, as if finally sensing his presence. A toothy grin and bouncing arms greeted Lloyd. Arms out stretched, Leon called to him, "Da!"

Lloyd smiled and moved onto the wet sand, the waves lapping at his boots as he held out his hand for Leon to grab.

"I'm here, son."

"Da," giggled happily, his little hand firmly gripping his father's finger.

**Review Please.**


	54. Chapter 54

**Listening to **Catch My Breath by Kelly Clarkson.** So it has been a long time once again. This summer is not going as I had planned, between having to take summer classes and now struggling to find a job. But, finally found time to sit down and write. I hope everyone is enjoying their summer holidays! Thanks for everyone who sticks with this story, welcome to new readers and reviewers. Hope you all enjoy!**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 54:**

Leon wriggled in the crook of his father's arm, unable to free himself from the cradled position, but attempting to nonetheless. Above him, Lloyd scanned the area, brow furrowed, deep in thought.

He glanced over at Colette, her expression tired and strained. She was anxious, he knew. They had fought about it earlier that morning, when he finally revealed his decision.

_"I don't know why we have to investigate it. You said so yourself, that it has to do with the pacts. Doesn't that mean that Sheena is handling it? It's a good thing right?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"What do you mean? Is it dangerous?"_

_"I don't know, Colette."_

_"I don't want to take Leon back over there."_

_"You could stay here if you wanted-"_

_"I don't want you to disappear either. Lloyd, please. Can't we stay just a little longer?"_

He never answered that question. He withdrew, moving to one of the windows in silence. He wasn't going to force her and he didn't have to. She came to him, afterwards, her face hard and mouth tight.

_"I don't like it."_

_"I know."_

_"It's not your fault. I'm sorry I yelled at you."_

_"It's not yours either. Stop apologizing."_

She had smiled weakly and stepped into his arms, letting him hold her tightly until Leon's gurgling protests drew them apart.

She looked up at him now, trying to smile, but failing. "So where are we going?"

He hadn't really considered it. And now that he was here, he wasn't sure how to proceed. Initially, he wanted to discover the cause of the earthquakes, and what it was ultimately leading up to. He'd have to see Yuan. But he dreaded the thought of taking Colette and Leon to the Renegade Base.

"Someplace safe. Come on."

He had warped near Iselia. The isolated little town, practically forgotten now after all the years that have passed since the Chosen's last journey. It would be safer here, where news travelled slow and intruders were unlikely. Despite his convictions, the memory of the angels attacking the small town flickered in his memories. He forced them away.

Colette's face seemed to light up as she saw the little town come into view. She looked up at him, flashing a smile and grabbing his hand tightly. He returned the gesture, enjoying the contentment that seemed to pass over her.

They drew looks from the residents as they entered the town. Recognized by many, but only a few approached, women mostly, to speak in wonder about the little boy in Lloyd's arms. They never addressed him, speaking strictly to Colette, but Lloyd didn't mind.

"My goodness! I heard from Frank that he was a grandfather, but I hardly believed it. Such a darling little boy! How old is he, Dear?"

"Nearly two now."

"Two years? My goodness! Where have you been hiding the little angel? Such large eyes. He'll be a handful! Especially if he's anything like his father."

At this Lloyd received the curious speculating looks. Word had gotten around undoubtedly since the little forest wedding. Frank no doubt had been unable to contain his excitement and joy about his daughter's marriage and his first grandson.

Leon stared at the ladies in curiosity, before winning them over with a toothy grin. They cooed at him and he grinned all the more, gurgling and wriggling in Lloyd's grip, his large, dark eyes alight. Colette giggled along with the other women, sharing a few of the baby stories , already earning the boy a reputation of being adorable.

"So, who has he been promised to then?"

The question was one of many being asked, but it was the one that drew the silence upon them. He didn't recognize the face of the speaker, a younger woman, probably someone he had gone to school with and faded from his memory. He glanced at Colette, but she only shook her head in confusion and uncertainty.

"I'm not sure what you mean by that..." She smiled hesitantly, but something in her tone, told Lloyd that she knew exactly what the woman meant.

"Well, he is the son of the Chosen. Failed or not, the lineage is still there. So he should be promised to someone right?"

"He's not." Lloyd cut in smoothly as Colette struggled to respond. "Our son isn't going to be involved in the Regeneration Journey, nor with the Church of Martel."

The group of women open and closed their mouths in stunned silence. Some of them frowned, others shook their heads sadly out of sympathy or pity.

"But he is the Chosen's son. It's by the will of Martel-"

"The line must be continued-"

"He's not going to be involved." Lloyd repeated firmly.

One man had been lingering nearby, a husband of one of the women, mostly likely. He drew closer, anger on his face. "How dare you try and reject it. The child is of the lineage!"

"That means nothing to me."

"Would you bring the wrath of the angels upon yourself again?! Just like they came upon our village when the failure sought refuge here?"

"I was the one that killed those angels. Let them try." Lloyd responded, putting his other arm around Colette, turning her away from the group, pushing his way through. They easily gave way, quickly moving, murmuring and frowning.

"You shouldn't have been so harsh..." Colette spoke softly.

"If they hadn't pressed the issue, I wouldn't have."

She sighed softly, but said nothing more, turning her gaze forward. Leon continued to wriggle in his arm.

Colette's face lit up once more when they found Frank, sitting in the back lawn. She rushed from Lloyd and wrapped her arms around her father before he could even register who it was. Lloyd smiled gently, keeping his distance, letting them have their moment. He looked down at his son instead, offering the child his small finger to tug and suck on. Though, it was more chew than suck now...

"And where is my little grandson-? Lloyd, my boy, don't stand so far off, come closer, you are welcomed son." Frank had risen, one hand clasping Colette's, but his bright, blue eyes on his grandson. "And there is the little Aurion."

Leon blinked, his attention drawn to the elder man before he wriggled and hid his face for a moment in Lloyd's arm. Lloyd chuckled and extracted him turning him once more to face his grandfather.

"It's Grandpa Frank, Leon. Don't be shy."

"It's alright, Lloyd. Been a while since he's seen this ragged face."

Colette smiled gently, then moved forward, taking Leon from Lloyd's arms, carrying him back over to her father. "He's gotten big since the last time you saw him."

"Indeed he has! And teeth! Is he eating foods now?"

"Yes, he always makes a mess too."

"Well he is a little boy now, isn't he?" Frank chuckled, tapping the boy on the nose.

Leon blinked, then giggled, reaching and clasping onto Frank's hand tightly, making the old man poke his round little nose again.

"Poke."

"Oh! He talks too! He is growing up so fast. Yes, Leon. Poke, poke." Frank, laughed alongside his grandson.

"Poke!"

"Yes, yes. Poke."

"Poke! Poke!" Leon shouted and then giggled, releasing his grandfather's hand and reaching up to poke the old man in the nose.

They all laughed along with the little boy, settling into the grass to let the stumbling toddler run to each and poke them in the nose.

"Poke! Poke! Poke!"

* * *

"You're back then."

"Yes."

"I was concerned."

"Forgive me. But I want thank you for aiding me in slipping away. The time away was good for Colette and Leon. They have had time to relax and escape the stress of this...whole mess."

Kratos frowned but nodded, glancing around the room. "You left them behind then?"

"And if I did?" Lloyd hid a smile.

Kratos cleared his throat. "I suppose this base is the last place you want to bring a child. And I suppose you wouldn't have known I'd be here."

"I had a hunch." Lloyd smirked. "There is not many other places you can go to escape detection from Cruxis. Not to mention the amount of resources and information that Yuan has available for you to use."

"Ah, yes I suppose. Though I hardly wish to be associated with the Renegades."

Lloyd shook his head watching his father's distracted expression. It astound Lloyd, how much his father had soften up since Leon had been born. Even after this past year, Leon was the first thing on his mind when Lloyd stepped through those doors. He really had fallen into the grandfather role...

"I left Colette to visit with her father in Iselia. I'm assuming she'll want to pay a visit to Dirk as well."

Kratos eyed him frowning. "With Frank...and Dirk? Do you think it wise to leave them there unprotected? While Dirk may be able to hold his own, Frank certainly could not fend off-"

"I assumed you'd be going over there. If not I can always-"

"Such an immature assumption on your part. Assuming I would be here and have the time to go and babysit. You have to learn not to rely so much on these expectations." But even as he scolded Lloyd, Kratos was making his way past him and towards the exit Lloyd had just come from. "Tell Yuan I will be gone from the base for a time."

Lloyd chuckled, shaking his head, making his way to Yuan's office.

"Back from your little holiday I see." Yuan clasped his hands together. "Were you found out?"

"I came back. Voluntarily." Lloyd responded, glancing around the office. This room was becoming far too familiar for his tastes. He turned his gaze back to Yuan. "I came to know about the Earthquakes. Is it because of the pacts?"

"Indeed. Unlike you, the rest of your little friends have been continuing on with their responsibilities." The bitterness wasn't hidden, but Lloyd refused to bite. He didn't regret his decision to go into isolation.

"I advised them to stop."

"So you think because you need a break, that the world simply stops as well? It doesn't work like that, Lloyd. Never has, and it never will. Not even for Yggdrasill."

Lloyd studied him, then shifted the subject. "Which pacts have been released so far?"

"They have just recently released Efreet, and Celsius before that ." Yuan eyed him curiously. "The earthquakes you speak of are a continuation from that last severed link."

"So that just leaves Gnome, Shadow and Aska and Luna." Lloyd frowned.

"Remembered your homework I see. Hard to believe any of those classes your father gave you actually lasted this long." Yuan smirked, retrieving a file from his desk. He dropped it before Lloyd before he could counter, tapping the folder. "Raine and her brother on the side, have been doing a little research into one of the spirits. Luna is at the Tower of Mana, Raine tells me you all spotted her during the Regeneration Journey without realizing it. Regardless, you cannot complete that pact until you have Aska there as well."

"Won't he simply appear when Sheena calls them forth?" Lloyd frowned.

"If only it were that simple. No. Aska is not stationary, so he must be found. Now, Raine, as I said, has done some research and she came across a caravan family that happened to spot a bird that fits Aska's description up in the mountains, near the Tower of Salvation."

"I suppose it makes sense it likes high altitudes." Lloyd pulled the folder over, skimming over the pages. "Music...high places...bright bird. How exactly does this help us? You travelled with Yggdrasill back then, you were with him when he made the pacts. How did he manage it?"

Yuan stiffened eyes narrowing, sitting back. "Such accusations. What makes you think I was present."

"Because you sit there and toy around with the idea and these facts. You either know, or you have a suspicion. So how did it work?"

Yuan stood up stiffly, walking around his chair, facing away from Lloyd. After a moment, he spoke over his shoulder. "Martel was playing her panpipe for us one night at a campfire. We were travelling through one of the mountains when Aska appeared, perching on one of the branches above her." He smirked weakly. " She didn't even realize it at the time. She just kept playing as the rest of us stared up at the bird stunned. Then Mithos of course-..." He trailed off suddenly, clearing his throat and turning about. "So yes. Music is the key. The panpipe was made from the branch of a rare tree. A linkite tree. If you can find one, you could probably carve a similar instrument and thus, summon Aska."

"Where can I find Sheena?" Lloyd spoke after a moment.

"They were on their way to the Earth Temple last I heard."

"They?"

"Zelos has been travelling with her. You honestly think she's been doing this alone?"

* * *

"I swear, if I see another one of those little...imps, I'll kick it off into the canyon."

"Zelos, just calm down. This is their home and we are intruding, asking for favors is the least of our worries." Sheena scowled. Trying to navigate through this cavern is another thing." She lifted the lantern higher, looking around.

"Babe, I was saving that potion for later, after we kick Gnome's butt. Now that little womanizing imp is laying somewhere getting drunk."

"Talking about yourself? Or the gnomelettes?" She smiled back at him.

"Good one." He chuckled, then looked around, frowning. "Do you know where we are going?"

"The last one said it was down this path, but I don't... see anything." She moved the lantern about, stepping carefully.

"Watch your step, their paths are narrow as it is." He gripped her arm even as he spoke, steadying her as her foot slid a bit.

"Thanks," she breathed, looking around. "I think this is the right way, it's angled downward."

The pair carefully descended the path until they came to a halt, Zelos growling under his breath at the little gnomelette blocking their path. "Not again."

"Hey there Beautiful." The little creature smiled up at Sheena. "What are you doing down here?"

Zelos gritted his teeth. The damn little imp dared to compliment his girl?

Sheena smiled. "Hello. We're looking for Gnome's altar. Are we heading the right way?"

"Sure thing, Gorgeous. You have a good sense of direction. But there are a few paths that lead off. I can lead you if you want? Wouldn't want anything happening to a pretty girl like you."

"What's the catch little Imp?" Zelos cut in quickly, unable to hide the growl in his throat.

"Mm. How about a kiss from the pretty lady once I get you there?"

"No way-"

"Alright." Sheena elbowed Zelos quickly. She turned her head back at him. "It's not that big of deal. I'll just kiss him on the cheek."

"What the hell? So when I flirt with you, it's perverted. When that little imp does it, you're cool with it?"

Sheena smirked, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, before turning back around to follow the gnomelette. "Pretty much. Now just hush up or I'll shove you off this path."

Zelos scowled, but did as she asked, glaring daggers at the little creature. Maybe he'd be able to grab it and throw it off into the abyss instead, before Sheena had to kiss him. She'd probably get mad about it though...Damn little imps.

* * *

Running a thumb over her lips, she watched the little gnomelette grin and hurry away, dodging a lazy kick from Zelos on his way back up the paths. The two called names back and forth for a moment, but Sheena ignored them, rising back to her feet, brushing dust from her legs.

"Well, this is it."

Zelos stepped beside her, laying an arm about her shoulders. "You ready, Babe?" His serious tone returned, the gnomelette forgotten. She was glad for his constant support in this. She would never have been able to do these pacts on her own.

"I just hope it doesn't end up like the last two." She looked up at him. "You have to stop rushing in and getting yourself hurt defending me."

"Hey, it's against the Summon Spirit code or whatever to kill their challengers right?"

"Volt did."

"Aw, Babe, you know that was different. No one died the second time around right? You can do this."

She frowned, but nodded. She didn't believe in that old myth. The Summon Spirits followed their own rules. Volt was an example of that, remaining in the ancient traditions while the others had adapted to the changing world.

"Corrine," she whispered.

Immediately, the little spirit appeared, the smoke settling as he clambered up her body, coming to rest on her shoulders. She growled softly at Zelos, but didn't begrudge the little scratch behind his ear the man offered as a truce.

"I'm here to help you too, Sheena!"

Sheena smiled, petting her friend before facing the altar, taking a deep breath. "Alright, let's do this."

She approached the altar slowly, clasping her hands together in the proper formation and summoned Gnome.

It was not what she had been expecting.

"Yo. A new Summoner? Well would you look at that. Sorry, but I already have a pact with Mithos, kay?"

"Wh...what?" Sheena blinked at the oddly casual and laid back speech of the spirit. It was nothing like the others in anyway.

Corrine nipped her ear and she quickly collected herself. "Wait. I ask that though annulst thy pact with Mithos and-"

"Enough with the stuffy language. Way to formal for my tastes. So you want to challenge Mithos' pact, hmm? Well alright. I guess we can have a battle. Come on, show me what you got!"

Sheena's eyes widen, caught off guard, but she quickly dove to the side as the ground rumbled beneath her feet. In the same motion, Corrine leapt off her shoulder, darting towards the summon spirit from the side, growling and draw its attention.

Zelos was by her side in an instant, sword out, watching Gnome swing a little shovel at Corrine lazily before turning back towards them.

"Casual fellow, isn't he?" Zelos chuckled, then glanced at her, checking to be sure she was alright. "I'll distract him, you wait for an opening and get your cards on him." With that he took off.

Sheena gritted her teeth but took his advice, heading the other way, trying to make her way behind him.

Dust and rocks filled the plateau, making it difficult to see. Every attack Gnome sent off, built upon the haze. The miniature earthquakes made it difficult to keep on their feet and Sheena watched in despair as Zelos once more staggered, narrowly missing a swipe from the creature's shovel.

She rushed forward as it's back turned, leaping at it and slapping a set of seals on its back.

"Hey-" Gnome started.

Sheena back flipped out of the way and made the sign and then seals exploded, throwing the spirit forward onto the ground.

"Ow. Alright, now let's get serious!" Gnome chimed and raised his shovel. The ground rumbled and Sheena's eyes widen as she lost her balance.

"Ah-"

The ground beneath her shot skywards in jagged stalagmites, thrown off her feet, their rammed into her back and sides, knocking the breath from her. She landed hard on the ground, gasping for breath.

"Sheena!" Zelos shouted and she raised her hand, trying to keep him focused on the fight.

Corrine was suddenly before her. "Sheena get up! You can do it!"

She grimaced, coughing, but pushing herself up. She reached for more cards, glaring at Gnome when a streak of red rushed past the jutting rocks towards the Summon Spirit.

In an instant, Gnome cried out, jerking back, only to be slashed at by Zelos from the other side. Sheena squinted, trying to identify the stranger through the dusty haze, coughing and getting to her feet. She staggered forward then pushed, leaping to the left, dodging another earthquake and slapping another seal upon Gnome's face.

"Let's get serious," She mocked and jumped back.

The card exploded, Gnome's wail rising above it as he fell upon his back, going limp.

She panted straightening, wincing. Her back was undoubtedly bruised from that attack, but she would survive. She looked to her right and blinked, staring at stranger as he sheathed his swords.

"Lloyd!"

"The one and only." Zelos muttered, stepping forward, waving his sword. "Always with the dramatic entrances, huh?"

"It appeared like you could use a bit of help. I'm sorry if I interfered." He glanced at Zelos, then towards Sheena. "Yuan told me you would be here."

Sheena blinked then gritted her teeth, smacked him. "Where the hell have you been? Where is Colette and Leon? What gives you the right to just up and leave-?"

"Sorry to interrupt and all, but did you want to make a pact or what?" Gnome cut in, hovering once more over the altar.

Sheena spun around, cheeks flushed, throwing a last glare in Lloyd's direction."Don't even think about going anywhere."

She stormed over to the altar, fuming, but took a breath to steady herself. Corrine clambered onto her shoulder once more, keeping an eye on Lloyd behind her.

She closed her eyes, focusing on the words of her vow. As she opened them once more, the air thickened and the ground rumbled as Sylph took form above them.

Sheena blinked, having forgotten that they had once again severed another mana link.

"Hey, Sylph, how's it going? Been around 4000 years since I last saw ya! Looking good!"

"Hi Gnome!" Fairess squealed, fluttering around. "Wow, your altar is smaller than I remember!"

"It has been a rather long time hasn't it?" Sephie sighed. "The worlds it seems are becoming agitated it seems."

"Well the mana link was just ripped out." Gnome offered, glancing over at the group. "There is probably going to be a few earthquakes now because of that."

"We are aware of that." Lloyd nodded.

"Hmm, well you better know what you are doing." Gnome spun his shovel about. "I would hate to be around to find out what happens when the last one is taken out."

Zelos frowned, stepping forward. "Wait. What's going to happen, mole?"

"Mole! It's Gnome, pretty boy. And I don't know. Just something big I guess. Why else would there be earthquakes you know? Things are shifting, that's why. Big shifts leads to big change."

"Indeed." Sephie agreed.

"Well it looks like we'll just have to wait and see." Yutis added.

"I guess so! Well I'll see ya all later!" Gnome called out.

Fairess waved wildly. "By Gnome!"

With that, the Summon Spirit's vanished and the group was left within the silence of the cavern. Sheena frowned, wondering at Gnome's words. Was this a mistake? Were they going to cause more problems instead of helping the situation by removing the mana links? Maybe they should rethink this..."

"I'm going to have Yuan get further information about the situation before we sever the final link. Perhaps something has been overlooked- What?" Lloyd frowned, looking down at Sheena who had stormed back over to him.

She grabbed the front of his shirt, jerking him forwards. "You have a lot of explaining to do! But I want to know one thing first. Where are Colette and Leon?"

**Review Please.**


	55. Chapter 55

**Listening to **Death and Healing by Wintersun.** So hi, been absent for way to long. I recently got a new job and I forgot how exhausting and time consuming work is. University life spoiled me apparently. I had this chapter almost finished so I decided to get it done and show you all I'm still here. I'll be trying to work on my other stories as well when I find the time. Thanks for all your patience and for reading, reviewing, and the favorites, etc. It means a lot. Also sorry that it is so short. I hope you enjoy! **

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 55:**

There was something she didn't like about him. Something about the look in his eyes that didn't quite match the young boy she was seeing.

Raine rubbed her eyes in exhaustion longing to just lay down upon a bed and rest. But she had only just returned to Palmacosta from her travels around Sylvarant, talking with a number of travellers about the Summon Spirit Aska. And on her return, she found her young brother and Presea had ultimately taken in a young half-elven boy.

On first impressions, she knew something was off about him. It was the same feel she received when she first spoke to Kratos. Despite the smiling, laughing boy on the outside, she felt as if the child wasn't just a normal child.

She sighed, looking at the opposite wall from her seat. She supposed the boy could have had some traumatic experience of some sort since he was apparently alone-something about losing his sister-Genis had said, but it just didn't fit.

"So Lloyd comes running into the classroom, soaking wet and dripping water everywhere and just rushes to his seat! He was like 'I made it!' and then looked up at the front and Raine is standing there just glaring at him tapping her foot! So Lloyd gets all sheepish and-"

Raine smiled softly, recalling the event her brother was relating. It saddened her how long ago that seemed...ages even. They were all grown up now and Lloyd...well he would never act like that now. In some ways she was proud of him, proud that he had become into a mature young man, but in other ways it frightened her, to think how different he had been in the beginning. It was only after months of being with Colette that he had finally opened up. But then they had disappeared once more, without a word and she was left once more to wonder what happened to her students.

"Raine, do you want to go rest?"

She looked up, finding Presea had taken a seat with her at the table, offering her a steaming cup of tea. Raine smiled gratefully at the gesture, cupping the mug and breathing in the scent.

"Thank you. I'm alright for now, I'll have time to rest later once the boys have settled down." She watched her brother sadly. "He's really attached himself to Mithos hasn't he?"

Presea nodded, taking a sip from her own cup before adding, "I think it is because he misses Lloyd."

Raine glanced at the young girl. "I'm sure he does, but.."

"Genis has been telling Mithos a lot about Lloyd ever since we found him." Presea spoke softly, keeping her voice low, lower than Raine thought necessary. There was no chance of the boys hearing over Genis' loud voice.

"Well, a lot of good stories revolve around Lloyd. He was always causing some sort of event," Raine offered, but she felt her uneasiness growing. For some reason Presea seemed tense, uncomfortable. Her face was blank and expressionless and her eyes remained fixed on the boys...no, on Mithos.

"Mithos has been very interested in meeting Lloyd as well. He is interested in meeting all of Genis' friends. Especially you Raine." Presea still didn't look away from the boy.

Raine frowned, turning her gaze to the young blond, studying him carefully. He was still smiling, still laughing along with Genis as the story began to peak. But there was something off. Was the laugh forced? Was the smile tight? Was he sitting a little too stiff?

The boy's eyes glanced over to the two women, locking eyes with Raine for the briefest of moments before flashing a large smile in her direction before turning his attention back to Genis.

"I think I will rest now." Raine set her tea down, the drink forgotten as she turned to Presea, smiling. "Would you show me a place I could sleep?"

"Of course, Raine."

"You are very lucky."

"Huh?" Genis tilted his head looking down at the boy, pausing in his story. Mithos was no longer looking at him, but to where Raine and Presea vanished into the next room.

"You're sister. You are very lucky to have her."

Genis' sat back a bit, looking sadly at the young boy, offering a weak smile. "Hey now, we'll find your sister. I was actually hoping Raine would get back. She is great with information. She might know where to start looking."

"Yes. She seems to be very smart." The young boy quietly agreed, then turned back to Genis, looking up at him. "Genis, we are friends right?"

The question caught him off guard. The tone, the seriousness of it, the intensity, it seemed so sudden and strange that he took a moment to answer. But he recovered, nodding smiling. "Of course. You'll be the first half-elf friend I've had. I mean, I know there is a bit of an age gap being twenty-one and you fourteen. But we are half-elves and that doesn't really matter. Once we grow up that will seem like nothing."

Mithos smiled weakly, almost as if he found what Genis had said was amusing, but he quickly nodded. "Yes, cause we'll live a lot longer than humans. I mean, from your stories, Lloyd sounds so different already and so changed. It must be weird to be friends with a human."

Genis blinked, then frowned. "Well, it wasn't really just...aging that changed Lloyd. He doesn't.. I mean he acts different because...well he went through a lot of hard stuff and that can change people. But he is...was getting better."

"Was? He's not anymore?"

Genis cleared his throat. "Well I mean, I told you we haven't seen each other for a while. He...he went away."

Mithos sighed, nodding. "Right. I really wish I could meet him. He sounds so...interesting."

Genis cracked a smile and laughed. "That's one way to put it! That makes me think of this one time..."

* * *

He's so big! How did he get so big! Oh my goodness he is so adorable and cute and chubby-just look at those cheeks! He's laughing! Zelos look at his little teeth!"

Zelos raised an eyebrow, watching Sheena fawn over the little brat on the floor. Colette was with her, laughing along with Sheena and Leon, tickling and cooing the baby.

"I think he remembers me. He's not crying at all. Hi Leon, hi!" Sheena cooed, her finger stroking one of his cheeks.

Leon smiled, grabbing her hand and giggling. "Shee"

"He's trying to say my name! Zelos he's saying my name!"

"Chill, Babe, or you are going to scare him." Zelos chuckled.

She threw him a glare over her shoulder before completely dismissing him and focusing on repeating her name over and over to the little boy.

"Women get so weird around kids." Zelos mumbled to Lloyd and Kratos who sat near him.

"Indeed."

"I don't know, Dad. You get pretty weird around Leon as well." Lloyd glanced over at his father, smirking. Kratos merely huffed, refusing to take the bait.

Zelos snorted. "I still don't see the novelty of them. They are stinky, messy, annoying little brats."

"You know, you were one of those at one point too." Lloyd raised an eyebrow.

"Of course not. Don't you know, I came out perfect. Perfect little angel, if you catch my drift."

"Oh I catch it alright. But that works better with Colette, rather than you." Lloyd laughed. Colette glanced up briefly, her cheeks glowing pink before looking back down to Leon.

"Ouch, man. That stinks."

Lloyd smiled, but then tilted his head glancing over at him. "I think Sheena would make a pretty good mom. She really seems to like kids."

"I guess so."

"Are you two planning on it?"

Zelos met Lloyd's eyes, narrowing his own slightly, warning him to stop. But Lloyd merely looked at him with brief curiosity then back at the group playing on the floor.

"You really think now is an appropriate time to have kids? Seriously? Look at all the issues you have-"

"I didn't mean now. I mean when this is over."

"You sound pretty confident about it ever ending. Look how long it's taken us to begin with."

Lloyd frowned. "Leon may not have been intentional, but I never regret having him born. He's reminded me what it was that I was fighting for in the first place. A place where everyone can be safe, secure and accepted."

"You don't need to preach to me, Bud. I already know your motivations." Zelos waved his hand.

"They won't be Chosens, you know?"

"What won't?"

"Your kids. They won't have to be chosens. They wouldn't have to have your life. They wouldn't have to die." Lloyd met his gaze. "Because all that is going to end. They'll just be kids...Just like Leon is." Lloyd looked back towards his son. "Leon will never have to be a Chosen. And neither will your kids...you know, if you have any."

Zelos stared at him, then frowned looking at the little toddler and Sheena. She was laughing, face red trying to get Leon's grabby fingers from the front of her shirt, which was being pulled down as he struggled to reach up and poke her nose.

"Leon- Leon wait, let go-"

"Lucky kid..." Zelos muttered.

* * *

"That kid is so adorable." Sheena whispered, watching Colette lay Leon on the bed, arranging the pillows about him so that he wouldn't roll off. "You are so lucky, Colette."

The blonde woman looked at her friend, tilting her head, smiling gently. "I suppose I am. Sometimes it doesn't feel that way, or I feel guilty for thinking like that." She turned her gaze back upon her young son, brushing his unruly hair out of his eyes and pulling his blanket over him. Leon wriggled, curling up, his thumb already resting within his mouth.

"If it wasn't for Cruxis, your life would be perfect." Sheena leaned against the wall. "You have a strong husband, an adorable kid, a loving family. What more could you want?"

"Sheena..."

"I'm sorry. Ignore my babbling. I make it sound like things have been so easy for you." Sheena glanced aside. "Zelos won't commit. Sometimes I think I'm wasting my time. But then I remember, he is here. He has been here, through all this craziness. Even all the times he said he would leave or he wouldn't be able to cut it. He's still here. Maybe I should be happy just to have that."

"I'm sure he's just waiting for the right time."

"You think? It's been so long already. And...well, I'd like to have a family. Be a mom, you know? I'm so jealous of you, having little Leon. But Zelos hates kids, I just..." she sighed, shaking her head. "So what happened anyway? You three just left without a trace. No one knew where you were."

Colette frowned, lowering her eyes down to Leon, sitting on the edge of the bed. "We nearly died. Leon and I. It happened so fast...But then Lloyd came and-... We needed to get away. It sounds so selfish...it is selfish. We just had to get away from it all. Lloyd especially. The way he... he was almost acting like he did when he first came back from up there. It scared me, so I didn't argue. He needed to get away Sheena. He needed to be normal."

Sheena pursed her lips, frowning. "It was selfish of him. He had no right to scare us like that. We need him Colette, and he knows it. Well...we weren't going to just sit around and wait for him to come back again. Zelos and I kept busy. Kratos too. Genis and Presea...they are off doing their own thing, but they never had a chance to be kids. And Raine has been working hard too. Everyone has been working. We want to show that we aren't just helpless without him."

Colette nodded. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't say it, but I am and so is he." She reached up, rubbing her shoulder.

Sighing, Sheena nodded. "Yeah... alright, look don't apologize. I just... that was meant for him, not you. I just... it's still so hard to talk to him. He's still not like the Lloyd I met back then you know? The idiot that didn't even understand when he messed up. It was...back then it felt like you could yell at him and he'd just get it, but not really get it. Now, he takes it...he just has that expression where it seems like every word is a stab in his side. You know?"

Colette nodded.

Sheena frowned. "But, it's not fair to see him that way. He has come a long way. Just, hasn't quite made it yet. I'm just glad you are all back, safe and sound. Just don't ever do that kind of thing again, alright? Or if you have to, at least tell me."

Smiling, Colette nodded once more, standing up and embracing the older girl. "I promise, Sheena. I've missed having you around this past year. I know, how about tomorrow me, you and Leon can go shopping. He's already growing out of his clothes and I could use a second opinion."

The brightening of Sheena's expression was the only confirmation Colette needed. She smiled, listening the list of ideas Sheena already began listing off as Colette held open the door, lifting a finger to her lips. She waited as her friend left the room, she glanced back at Leon, checking to make sure he was safe. As she did she twitched, rubbing her shoulder with a frown before turning and following the Sheena out of the room.

**Please Review.**


	56. Chapter 56

**Listening to **Let it Burn by Red. **So hello everyone. I am still alive, apparently. Sorry for the extremely long delay in updating anything. I've been completely consumed by my work, at a job that causes me so much stress I'm ready to quit. Which is the main reason I haven't been able to update anything. Again I'm so sorry, but I haven't given up on my stories. I still have plans for them and I will continue them, even if it takes me time. Thank you all for your reviews, your favoriting and following. It means so much and it motivates me to write a little bit more each time I see one. Thank you for your patience and sticking with the story! Hope you enjoy!**

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

**Chapter 56:**

"So there are only two left."

"Indeed."

"You don't seem very pleased about that aspect. Once the last two pacts are made, Yggdrasill will have lost control over the great seed. The Mana Cannon that Kvar and Rodyle had been building is complete. Fortunately, the damn fools didn't actually put it to use. Once the seed has been exposed, we'll germinate it and the tree will be planted and Martel gone."

"Are you sure that is what you want?"

"You know it is."

Kratos nodded, but said nothing. Yuan scanned his friend's face carefully, looking for any emotion that may betray his real thoughts about that matter. Was he thinking of Anna? Was Kratos thinking that he was a fool not to try again? Maybe he was, but it had been too long now. He was tired and he knew Martel would be too. To exist all these years as a inanimate being, lingering somewhere between life and death with her insane brother terrorizing in her name...

"It has to end."

Kratos nodded again in silence and Yuan collected himself quickly, looking over the information he had gathered from Derris Kharlan's database at Kratos' behest.

"Something is wrong."

"What do you mean?" Yuan frowned, trying to move closer, to push Kratos aside, but the older man didn't budge, hands placed upon either side of the paper as he looked down upon it.

"I don't think it will work. It's hard to know for certain, but-"

"There it is. Your speculation. Go back to your little cottage, Grandpa. That kid has addled your brains and made you soft."

Kratos looked up sharply and glared and Yuan used the opportunity to swipe the paper walking back to his desk as he did so. Slipping on his glasses, he took a seat, scanning the page. "I don't see why it won't work. It's doing exactly what we planned it to."

Kratos looked at him frowning and then aside, thinking. "No, there is some information about the stability of the seed that is wrong. I need to access the database myself and-"

"And how exactly do you plan to do that? Waltz right into Derris Kharlan and take a look?"

Kratos frowned, glaring at him once more. "Then you need to double check it. The stability increases in variance with each-"

"I'll double check it. Alright? Calm down. They still need to release the seals first. We have time." Yuan sighed, removing his glasses and rubbing his face. "The problem isn't the seed anyway. It's Yggdrasill."

"What about him?"

"Don't you find it a little odd? Both you and Lloyd betrayed him and aside from that little Desian attack on Luin by Pronyma, he hasn't done anything."

"He is waiting."

Yuan frowned, leaning forward a bit. "For what? For us to get more power? A trap?"

"For me."

Yuan frowned, leaning back. "It has to be done you know. We went over this."

Kratos frowned.

Yuan sighed. "Look, again, we have time. Go back to your grandson, Kratos. Spend time with him. Do what you need to do to distract yourself. Leave the worrying to me. If need be, I'll do it myself and make it quick."

"You won't." He spoke flatly and moved out of the room without a backwards look.

Yuan narrowed his eyes and set his glasses upon the desk. He looked back down at the paper and then once more at the closing door before rubbing his face, sighing heavily. "Damn him."

* * *

"Colette? Are you alright? You look a little stiff."

Colette turned carefully towards her father, offering a weak smile. "Just slept wrong, Father, that's all. Want sugar in your tea?"

"No dear." He smiled as she set the mug down, taking a small sip, but watching her carefully. She tried to ignore the look.

"Are you sure you are alright. Did you hurt your neck? Maybe you should ask Miss Sage to look at it."

"I'm fine, Father. Really. Just a little stiff but it'll be better by this afternoon. And Raine is still travelling I think. That's what Sheena said."

"Oh yes that's right. With her Genis, wasn't it? He's living in Palmacosta now. That's probably where she is. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to head to that city. You and Lloyd. Have you and little Leon have a check up with a proper doctor-"

"Father." Colette smiled, placing a hand over his. "We're fine."

He sighed, rubbing her hand, offering smile. "I'm sorry, Colette. I just...okay, I'll leave it alone."

Colette smiled and sat back, lifting her cup carefully, ignoring the twinge in her shoulder. "You said Lloyd left this morning? Did he say where he was going?"

Frank nodded, buttering a piece of bread. "He said he wanted to see Dirk and let him know he is back. He is a good man, despite what happened over those years he was gone. He's still protecting you and his friends and family like he protected you that day the oracle appeared. I will be honest, in the beginning, when he killed those angels, or I heard he had, I was worried. But I see how happy you are, and I see how he is with his son...He's a good man."

"Yes...he is." Colette smiled nodding.

Suddenly, a soft voice called out from the back room.

'Mommy'.

Colette started to turn but gasped as a sharp pain shot through her neck and down her spin and she touched it gently, grimacing.

Frank was already on his feet, missing the reaction and heading to the door, calling back to her. "Never you mind, sit and drink your tea and have something to eat. I can get him. I don't mind at all."

"Thank you." Colette responded and frowned, slowly turning back towards the table. She stared down at her tea.

_"I just didn't want anyone to worry."_

She watched the liquid ripple off the side of the glass, widening with each ripple._"What's happening to you?"_

_"I don't know..."_ The mug warming her hands as she wrapped them tightly about it. The water trembling with her body.

_"I'm sorry, I didn't realize what was going on at all. I'm sorry." _She started to raise it to drink, then stopped, lowering it again slowly.

_"... we're all on this trip together and I want it to be fun. So I don't want you to worry about it either, okay?" _ She shuddered eyes closed, fighting the tears that stung her eyes.

She blinked them away quickly as Frank came back, Leon wriggling. "Mommy!"

_"You're so stupid..."_

"Hi Leon!" She force a smile, taking him into her lap, wrapping her arms around him as he tilted his head up to smile back at her.

"Food!"

Colette smiled. "My big boy. Are you hungry?"

"Ya!"

"Okay, we'll have some breakfast and then we'll go out and play in the garden, okay?"

"Okay! I wuv you, Mommy!"

"I love you too, Leon."

"_I'm sorry..."_

* * *

"What were ya thinking, boy?! Running off to nowhere without so much as a word."

"It was necessary-"

"Just as a punch to ya face right now will be necessary if ya keep up that kind of thinking." Dirk scowled up at his son, Lloyd towering over the stout dwarf, but hardly intimidating him with his size. If anything Lloyd couldn't bring himself to look his foster-father in the eye.

"Ya have friends and family all around ya. We can help protect ya. Much safer than running off on ya own with a new baby."

"They almost died!" Lloyd snapped, finally looking at the dwarf. Dirk fell silent regarding his son carefully, his bushy eyebrows moving together in a frown, his mouth tight behind his beard. Lloyd turned his face away again, taking a deep breath.

"I made a choice. And I don't regret it. I kept them safe. Leon is older now and Colette... Colette needed to have a break. She needed to rest and just...

"Forget?"

Lloyd glanced at him.

"That's what ya'll did, wasn't it?" Dirk met his gaze. "Ya went away and forgot about everything."

"Is that wrong?" Lloyd demanded. "Is it wrong to just... want to get away. To escape from Cruxis and keep my family safe?!" He clenched his hands, staring off into the forest.

"She was happy, Dad. Colette. She was smiling and laughing again. Not just her fake ones. And Leon...I got to watch him grow up. To watch him sleep and play and talk to us. Is it wrong that I wanted that, that I wanted to forget..."

He sighed heavily, brushing hair back. "You don't have to answer that...I'm sorry. I just... I know he needs to be stopped. I know Yggdrasill won't stop...but when they almost died. When I almost lost them I just...nothing else mattered. I suppose that is a bit selfish on my part. But they were my priority. I wasn't going to make _that_ mistake..."

Dirk remained silent and Lloyd could feel his eyes on him. He continued to stare off, not seeing his surroundings before giving one more heavy sigh.

"But I came back."

"Aye. You did and I'm glad for it. But ya can't run and hide from it, Lloyd. Any of this, as much as we all may want to. It'll come back in some shape or form and it'll catch ya unprepared."

Dirk didn't have to say it for Lloyd to know he was talking about Kratos. It was the same thought that had crossed his mine nearly every night, when Leon would be sleeping in his crib and Colette laying beside him in the bed. A false sense of security veiling them from the reality beyond their little home.

"I understand. We won't leave again. Not like that." He took another breath, kneeling down to bring himself closer to the dwarf's level. "I'm sorry, Dad, for worrying you."

"Aye. It was probably the right decision, but as long as ya acknowledge it's not the only one." His face crinkled up as he grinned, slapping a hefty hand upon Lloyd's back, making him cough a bit from the swing. "Now where are ya hiding my little grandson. The lad won't recognize me anymore!"

Lloyd smiled weakly. "He's with Colette right now, staying with Frank-"

"Frank! What ya have them staying there for? Why ya didn't bring them here to stay?" Dirk huffed.

"Well you live in a hole under the ground-"

"And so did ya for the first year ya stayed with me. And ya did just fine. Leon needs to crawl around some dirt, eat a bit of it. It'll make him strong and healthy! Just like his father!" Dirk paused, looking thoughtful. "The boy can eat now, right? Got some teeth in that mouth of his. Maybe I should make up so stew, Dwarven Potluck Surprise of course. Get some meat on that boy. Hardy him up."

Lloyd's eyes widen. "Dwarven Potluck-Dad wait-"

"It was always your favorite! Can't wait until that boy finds his first screw. Ya should have seen your face when you spat it back out on your spoon. Ya eyes were as round as saucers they were." Dirk guffawed and quickly opened his door, slipping down surprisingly quick for his size. "Ya hold on up there. I'll just get my supplies and we can head on too Iselia together."

Lloyd sighed, rubbing his face.

* * *

"He makes me uncomfortable."

"In what way. Perhaps you are just overly paranoid, not that there is anything wrong with that now a days." Yuan frowned.

"I'm not paranoid. It's the questions he asks. About us. About Lloyd and his family in particular. He doesn't act like a child should-"

"What questions?" Yuan frowned. "What did you say this kid's name was again?"

"Mithos. And just...questions. Asking if Genis knows where they are and where he may be. But for the most part, it seems innocent enough. Genis has grown quite attached to the boy. But even Presea doesn't trust him. I don't trust him."

"Yet you left them alone with this boy." Yuan frowned pacing before turning to look at her. "If I saw him, I would know. From the description you gave me however...But why would he do that. Why would he risk exposing himself? Why not just an outright attack on you."

"You sound almost disappointed." Raine huffed folding her arms. "If anything, this puts us at the advantage."

"Yet you said your brother trusts him." Yuan countered bluntly.

Raine tightened her mouth, frowning deeply. It was true that Genis was deeply attached to the young boy. Ever since his friendship with Lloyd had been shaken up...well, he didn't need another betrayal.

"Play along. But don't tell your brother."

"Excuse me," She looked up angrily. "I'm not going to lie to Genis-"

"You will. Because it is necessary." His tone softened with a sigh. "Raine think about it. You can't fake a friendship. Kratos and I both tried with him and look where we are. Your brother is ignorant. His reactions and emotions will keep Yggdrasill confident until we can decide how to deal with it."

"And let me brother be betrayed again. No."

"Raine-"

"Is that really all we are to you? Just pawns in a little game amongst the angels. Everyone of you, even Lloyd at times, treat us that way. Use us when it is convenient." Raine turned her back to him, grabbing her staff propped against the chair. "Well I'm done with it-"

She felt him grab her arm suddenly, pulling her hand away from the staff and letting it roll and clatter to the ground. He pulled her back towards him.

"Really. That is the reaction and argument you will throw at me?" He smirked at the annoyed look she gave him.

"Then prove it. You've used me this entire time. I've been your little spy, eavesdropper, gathered your information while you sat on your ass and did nothing. You didn't even tell me about my student-!"

To her irritation he continued to smirk, gripping her arm firmly as he studied her. "And it has been fully appreciated-"

"Like hell it has. I'm through, Yuan. Go find someone else to do your dirty work. Or maybe for once get your own hands dirty and-"

"Raine."

She stopped, her face flushed in angry frustration and betrayal. Her pride made her turn her face from him. Part of her wishing he'd let her go so she could just walk right out the door. A part of her didn't. A part of her thought back to those late nights she'd come by the base and stayed. She had stayed too many times. Been a fool.

He remained silent, his smirk faded, but instead replaced with a sad wistful look.

"You are thinking about her again. Aren't you?"

"No."

She frowned, trying to determine if he was lying.

"Then what?"

"Are you really going to leave. Are you really finished with me, Raine." He suddenly released her and straightened, walking away from her to the door on the back of his office. The room she was more than familiar with. Her cheeks burned with annoyance and anger. But he stopped at the door, looking back at her, holding the door open for her.

"Do you think I'll just leap into your arms. Think that you have the power to charm me into forgetting this?"

"No. I'm saying you can quit your job, but that doesn't mean you have to quit 'us'."

She stared at him for a long moment, her anger dissipating a bit. "If I stay, do you promise to talk about this more later?"

"Yes." But the glint in his eyes showed his claim of victory. She felt he anger surge slightly, her face heat but walked towards him strongly.

It was what made him attractive. His mind, his word games and the ability to twist the situation around to suit him. He challenged her, and she him. And she would. She wouldn't let him win this. She would regain her control and put him in his place.

As she passed him to enter the room, he slowly followed, placing a hand on the low of her back and closed the door behind him.

* * *

"Ya have had him more than long enough. It's mah turn to watch the little tot."

"He's fine where he is Dirk. If we move him, he'll just get riled up again. Besides, he's playing shy with you."

"Nonsense. He just hasn't remembered me yet." Dirk stepped forward, holding out his hands.

Leon stared up at him from Frank's lap, his brown eyes widening with every step closer the dwarf came. His bottom lip trembling slightly before shutting his eyes and blurting,

"Bear! Mommy! Bear!"

Dirk guffawed loudly and quickly scooped Leon from Frank's startled arms and hoisted the boy into the air. Leon's eyes popped open and his mouth widening. The feeling of rising up startling the lad, but not with complete fear. the couple of tears on his cheeks glistened as he stared down at his dwarven grandfather, the big bushy beard flashing a bright smile.

"Just like his daddy! I ain't no bear, Leon! Just a big fuzzy dwarf. I'm grandpa Dirk. Ya will remember me in time!"

Leon sniffled as he was lowered down, cradled in the engulfing arms of the dwarf, his eyes wide and frightened, looking towards his mother and Grandpa Frank."

Frank frowned slightly, but then quickly smiled to his grandson, hoping to ease the boy's worries. Colette smiled brightly and Leon hesitantly sniffled, rubbing his nose on the back of his hand, tilting his head back to look at the big bear holding him.

"To be fair. You do look like a bear, Dad." Lloyd smirked, opening the door and letting Noishe slip in quickly. The big protozoan looked about and then padded over to Frank, laying his head upon the old man's lap.

Frank smiled at the creature and gently stroked it's ears, but keeping his gaze upon his grandson.

Leon sniffled a bit more before looking over at Lloyd as he walked in, his arms reaching out towards him. "Da- Daddy."

Lloyd started towards Dirk immediately, prepared to take his son. But the Dwarf had other plans. "Now Lloyd, ya can't just scoop ya kid up at the first whimper and tear. He's fine with ol' grandpa Dirk. Ya go sit down and tend to ya wife. I'll care for the little tot."

"I think you mean 'we'" Frank politely corrected him.

"Ya have the dog."

Lloyd sighed hesitant, seeing the pleading large eyes of his son. But then he felt Colette tug his hand and he looked at her.

"Lloyd. I...Dirk and Dad can't take care of him for a bit. There is something I need to talk to you about."

Something in her tone made Lloyd immediately frown, glancing at his son and smiling quickly at him. "Just a minute Leon, I'm just going to talk to your Mom okay. I'll be right back."

"Nooo. Daddy! Daddy up-"

"Up ya say?" Dirk immediately swung the boy up, and Leon's little surprised call made the old dwarf chuckle.

Lloyd nervously let Colette lead him to the back room, but satisfied that his son would be alright.

Leon didn't see his parents leave the room, distracted by the motion and sensation of being swung up and down. It even brought a small giggle from him.

Frank felt more at ease to hear the boy giggle, convinced finally that he wasn't in distress anymore. Dirk continued to swing the boy around, lifting and lowering him, finally getting a smile to stay on the boy's face when the three were suddenly distracted by footsteps and the opening of the door.

Immediately Leon's eyes lit up and he reached towards the figure coming in from outside.

"Daddy!"

There was a pause and then a chuckle and a shake of his head as the figure stepped forward. "Close enough." Kratos smirked and then looked at Dirk. "I believe it is my turn."

Frank sighed and quietly continued to pet Noishe who rumbled happily.

* * *

"Do you think you could handle it. Nothing too dramatic, but enough to make a statement. A few deaths here and there. But no half-elves living in the city. Understand? I require them alive."

"Yggie-poo, what do you take me for. Of course I can handle it. That is why you put me in charge isn't it?"

"Do not call me that." Yggdrasill frowned. "One more thing. If you see a young woman, pink hair, wields an axe. Take her alive if possible. But do not kill her either. She will be the bait."

"Bait? For what? Oh I do much prefer to see them suffer than treat them humanely. They don't deserve it after all."

"Do I have to make myself more clear, Alice?"

The young woman pursed her lips, but then smiled, shaking her head. "Of course not, Yggie-poo. I'll get the girl. Don't you worry. And I'll make sure she is alive."

"Good." He paused, thoughtful then vanished from the room.

Alice's smile slowly faded, her eyes narrowing. "You hear that Decus? Yggie-poo wants us to ravage a city."

"Dear Alice, only you are able to carry out his wishes so perfectly. That is why you are Mistress of this Ranch."

"Yes, and now that that ugly Pronyma is gone and the other Ranches failing, Yggie-poo has no choice but to finally notice me. Perhaps he'll even promote me for my hard work."

"You more than deserve it my Darling Alice."

"Yes, I do, don't I?" She giggled.

**Please Review**


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